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Sighing deeply, you pushed open your room door. 'Safe' you thought unconsciously, shutting the door softly. The doorknob cackled, signalling that it was locked. A breath of relief escaped your lips, and dreadfully tears soon followed. Tears dripped down your cheeks as you stood still in the middle of your room, hesitant to succumb to the comfort of your sheets, not wishing to taint them with the pain buried in your heart. Hiccups of sobs echoed softly, hands trembling with your nails digging into your palm. A crack of thunder caused your breath to hitch loudly as you flinched. Hand instinctively raised to cover your mouth. You held your breath, listening to every creak before allowing yourself to cry more.
Pressure pressing down on your shoulders, from knowing too much, from knowing too little. It scared you. You held yourself, body curling into itself, trying to protect the remains of the inner child you kept hidden away. "It hurts," you whispered, barely a puff of air escaping your lips. Hands shaking through the blurry vision coating your senses. You swallowed dryly, trying to catch your breath. Short gasps and inhales were all you could take. Panic filled your senses, trying desperately to catch a breath of air into your system. Your hands held onto themselves, nails bedding moon crests on your skin. Fear clouded your judgement, pulling you deeper into sorrow.
Felix's breath hitched, stumbling on his own feet. The members' heard the loud thud of Felix's arm hitting the wall as he tried to steady himself. Chan held onto his shoulders "It's happening again isn't it?" he asked, wrapping Felix's arm around his shoulder. Felix held his head, nodding weakly "Hyung, they're hurting," he whispered, gripping the hem of Chan's shirt. Chan nodded, rubbing Felix's back "I know, I feel it too," he said, kissing Felix's forehead. Jisung walked over to his twin, wrapping his arms around his waist. Felix exhaled deeply, burying his face into Jisung's neck. Chan looked up "We better head home," he said, watching the members nod in agreement.
Slowly you began regaining your breath, counting with each intake of air. Your hands trembled still, shaking the remaining adrenaline out of your system. You sighed, taking a seat on your bed. A tiny skzoo entered the corner of your vision, gently you turned the skzoo around making it face the other way. Shame crawled up your body, coating your every thought. You wanted to reach out, you were desperate to be heard but guilt stopped you. You gulped, parting your lips only to feel the tears that went dormant come back. Impact hitting harsher than earlier, your body curling into itself. Heart-wrenching silent cries soaked your shirt, leaving only the loud puffs of air to be the only sound indicating a presence in the cold room.
Overwhelmed by your emotions, you didn't hear the door slowly open. You always knew deep down that lock wasn't going to keep you safe. Chan frowned, watching your curled figure from the door frame. He clenched his jaw, trying to refrain from running towards you, to comfort you, to reassure you. Your vulnerability screamed through your actions, desperately hanging on to what's left of your sanity. So close to the edge but also a coward for not immediately jumping. Chan knocked on your opened door, causing you to break out of your trance. Jolting, you frantically wiped your tears as if they were acid burning your skin. You hesitated to look up, afraid of the expression he would have. You took a few short breaths before finding the courage to look up.
Chan did nothing but looked at you with a softened smile. You felt your chest clench, choking on a sob desperately crawling to escape. Chan walked towards you carefully, paying attention to your expressions as he made his way closer. You whimpered, jaw clenching, feeling your teeth grind against each other. Chan stopped, smile not leaving his face "Are you alright, little one?" he whispered, looking up at you as he sat down on the floor below you. You tried so hard to force yourself to choke up an "I'm okay," but it burned to say a word. Your lips quivered, head shaking "No," you whispered, breaking the last string of hesitance. A raw, gut-wrenching sob escaped your lips.
Tears fell freely, finally able to take a chip of pressure off the block. Chan smiled warmly "Can I hold you, little one?" he asked, looking up at you. You nodded frantically, "Please," you whispered and it didn't take long for Chan to carry you, setting you gently on his lap. Chan rubbed your back softly, whispering gentle words of affection. Tears dripped down your cheeks, staining his shirt but he paid no mind. He stroked your hair "Do you want to tell me what bothered you, sweetheart?" he asked, quietly. You shook your head, burying it deeper into the crook of his neck. Chan chuckled softly "I got you, stay," he whispered, leaving a gentle peck on your forehead.
You exhaled softly, relaxing into his hold. "Can Binnie come in darling? He's been standing by the door for some time," Chan said, taking your hand into his own. You looked over to your door, noticing Changbin rubbing his hands, waiting for the right moment to enter. You looked up at Chan, nodding softly. Chan nodded, gesturing Changbin over. Changbin kneeled in front of you, rubbing your thighs gently "Hello baby, feeling better?" he asked softly. You nodded, locking eyes with him. Changbin smiled warmly "Mind telling us what happened stay?" he asked. You pouted, sniffling as tears threatened to spill again. Changbin noticed, eyes widening "You don't have to tell if you don't want to agi-yah," he said fanatically.
Chan chuckled softly, chest rumbling against your back. You wanted to reach out and so you did telling them your problems, your fears, what built up to it and what you think will happen. Changbin listened intently, taking your every word into consideration. Chan wrapped his arms tighter around your waist nodding as you continued to speak. You exhaled, finally able to be heard. Changbin took your hand, kissing your palm lightly "Agi-yah you can take your own pace, you don't have to force yourself to keep up," he said, looking up at you. You whimpered, biting down on your tongue "I know but it's easier said than done," you whispered, Chan, nodded lightly "It's harder to ignore it when it's happening right in front of you," he said, letting you know that he understood.
Changbin sighed softly, letting you thread your fingers through his hair. The rest of the members peeked through the door, waiting till it was safe to come in. You noticed the other presence and shivered. Chan chuckled softly "Permission our dear stay to allow the rest of the family to come in?" he asked playfully, fingers tickling your sides. You giggled softly, nodding at Chan's question. The rest of the members slowly filled in the room, and the Jilix twins immediately cosied up against Chan, leaving gentle touches on your skin. Seungmin smiled warmly, leaning over Changbin to lay a soft kiss against your cheek. Minho stroked your hair gently, smiling as you leaned into his touches. Jeongin leaned his head beside Changbin, letting you trace your features. Hyunjin came in last, tilting a cup of water for you to sip on, smiling gently before setting the cup down when you're done.
Felix looked at you, studying your features. "Stay, what happened lovely?" he asked carefully. You sighed, looking at the eight pairs of eyes staring at you "I'm scared to take the first step, but I'm also scared of being left behind, it's so contradicting and frustrating, I couldn't take it anymore," you said, anger and disappointment evident in your tone. Felix nodded, acknowledging your words "You know you did your best but it feels like time is slipping from your grasp," he said, looking at you. You fidgeted with your nails, "Yeah," you whispered, tilting your head down. Jisung tilted your chin facing him "It's normal agi-ah, don't feel ashamed, you hear me?" he said, bopping his head with each word.
You giggled softly, nodding at his words. You sighed, leaning deeper into Chan's hold "We're proud of you," Minho mumbled, looking at you. Your breath hitched after hearing him say that. Minho nodded "You should know that we're proud of whatever you do, may it be from waking up or going to jail for taking my advice too seriously. We'll always be proud of you," Minho said booping your cheek. You pouted, sniffling at his words "Aigoo, you made the baby cry, Minho hyung," Seungmin said, smacking Minho's back playfully. A smile played on your lips watching 2Min bicker. Hyunjin sighed, pinching your cheek lovingly "Sneaky little stay, watching the members bicker" he teased. You whined, glaring playfully at Hyunjin.
Chan chuckled, pinching your cheek as well "Is that so?" he asked, watching your ears tint red. Jeongin huffed, swatting the teasing hands surrounding you and pulling you on his lap "Don't tease our baby, look their ears are heating up because of you," he scolded, using the iconic grandma Jeongin voice. Jisung snorted a laugh, muffled behind his palm. Jeongin noticed "Aish, just like your father," he said, ignoring the scandalous gasp Felix made as the members laughed to their heart's content. You giggled, hiding your smile against his shoulder. Jeongin chuckled, rubbing your back softly. "Such a bad influence for our stay," he teased, stroking your cheek. Changbin pressed his tongue against his cheek "Ya! We're a good influence," he said, looking at Jeongin.
Jeongin smacked his shoulder "How dare you talk to your grandma informally. Kids these days," he scolded, shaking his head. Hyunjin burst out laughing, holding his stomach as he rolled onto his back. Changbin winced playfully "Grandma's so scary," he said, rubbing his shoulder. You watched the members fondly, heartwarming from the love filling the room. Felix noticed the subtle smile, etching your lips "Feeling better than before?" he asked softly, stroking your hair. You nodded, smiling brightly "Yeah," you said, leaning against his touch. Chan smiled warmly, gently petting your head "You don't have to keep everything to yourself anymore, little one," he said.
"If you can't find anyone to lean onto, we'll always be here, agi-ah," Changbin said, nodding his head. "If you want a break, you can have one. If you need to slow down, you can do that too. Don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself, understood?" Jisung asked. You giggled "Understood," you replied as a satisfied smile etched his lips. Minho pulled you over to him causing Seungmin to roll his eyes "Hyung, they're not a doll," he said, holding your hand. Minho glared at him "I know, I just wanted to hold them," he said, hooking his chin on your shoulder. Seungmin sighed "Your health is the priority, eat well like our dweakki," he said with a straight face.
Changbin looked at Seungmin, utterly betrayed "Yah!" he shouted. You giggled softly, reaching over to take Changbin's hand. Changbin froze, staring down at your hand on his and immediately calmed down. Hyunjin chuckled "Only stay can calm down an angry dweakki," he said, poking your cheek. You glared at him, curling up against Minho. Minho chuckled, rubbing your thighs "Should I put him in the air fryer?" he asked. You looked up at Minho, gulping at his expression. Minho smirked "Well?" he asked. You shook your head instantly, "No, thank you," you said. Minho frowned but nodded "Hyunjin-ah you live another day," he said. Hyunjin gasped loudly, holding his chest "He really wanted to fry me," he said in disbelief.
Chan sighed, "See what I have to deal with," he said, pulling you back into his hold. You giggled softly, snuggling against his chest. "You'll never to alone, wherever you are, we'll be one step behind you," he said, rubbing your palm with his thumb. "I'll protect you," he grumbled, holding you tightly. Your eyes widen "I'll protect everyone here," he mumbled, nuzzling your neck. You relaxed, nodding softly. "I know," you whispered, sighing happily. Chan shifted letting the other members cuddle against each other. "Rest, little one, you had a long day," he whispered, stroking your hair. You nodded, letting him tuck you in before wrapping his arms around your waist. "Sweet dream my babies," he said, closing his eyes.