Chapter Text
i.
Known amongst the people in their town was that their father, Hiruzen Sarutobi, was a hopeless fatalist. Set on imagining the worst possible scenario first, and in similarity to most pessimists, once he made up his mind then that was the only possible outcome for him.
This left the Sarutobi brothers in search of marriage. Because their father’s new worry of the season was death.
“Life has given me enough time already, I must prepare for death’s arrival any day now,” their father said to anyone who would listen. Their maids were pretty tired of hearing it, given his perfect health. The only one content about Mr. Sarutobi’s worries was his physician, who was more than ready to happily charge his monthly checkups.
But what could be a worse fear than death for Mr. Sarutobi than that of leaving his two sons unmarried. He must at least marry one of them before seeing his last day.
Now, while rejecting a gentleman’s proposal wasn’t something uncommon, amongst the Sarutobi family it was unimaginable for it to even be thought of. Which left Iruka in a rather uncomfortable position after what had been, at least to him, a very annoying event.
“Iruka, you must tell us! Stop trying to leave us in suspense,” Anko cried, because she hated the habit Iruka had of being sadistically reserved.
“Don’t press on, Anko. There must be a reason he won’t talk. Although I do admit I am rather intrigued now, it must have been horrid given you won’t utter a word,” Tenzou inclined his head closer to Iruka with eyes wide open and a raised eyebrow.
“Both of you shut up. I already told you it was horrid. He couldn’t stop being an insufferable pain in the ass for a second of what was supposed to be a marriage proposal,” Iruka rolled his eyes.
“Did you at least let him talk for more than a second before throwing an insult?” Anko grinned knowingly.
“And do you ever shut your mouth? Don’t you have some Ibiki buttocks to look at?” he shot back.
“What do you think I’ve been doing the whole time?” She adjusted herself to rest her head on her hand as she watched said farmer work the land.
“Distracting me from helping the owner of those buttocks you’re looking at,” Tenzou jumped in. Though even if he complained, Iruka knew he thrived for gossip and was very thankful for the excuse to take a break from work.
Iruka ignored that and went on, because being sadistically reserved didn’t erase the fact that he loved complaining about it.
“Well, we know he didn’t even mean it. I didn’t expect him to. He was just feeding that obscure need he has of pleasing my father. You both know how he has been rather pressing about marriage,” Iruka said, raising his chin and letting out a sigh.
He grew up watching Mr. Hatake going after his father left and right. He wasn’t jealous of the relationship Mr. Hatake and his father shared in any way, he was just constantly annoyed by his being eagerly on board with even the most stupid ideas his father had. Even Iruka himself had shared a friendship with the man, but Mr. Hatake had grown up to become so uptight and judgmental that it put Iruka on edge.
“I don’t think we know that. Maybe you’re looking at it wrong,” Tenzou replied quickly after using all his energy not to groan.
Still, Iruka viewed Tenzou’s opinion as a biased source because he had known Kakashi for longer and was also a rather good friend of his—even when he pretended like his mere presence was physically painful, he just tended to act that way about the things that brought him joy—which brought Iruka to expect him to naturally defend Kakashi.
“I don’t know, Tenzou. Maybe he just wanted to get back at me, to further annoy me. Because, really, why else would the person who’s been unstoppably getting on my nerves since my childhood suddenly confess some supposedly hidden admiration for me?” Iruka said, exasperated.
Tenzou rolled his eyes with the same sense of exasperation directed towards the same person but for very different reasons.
“I see Umino’s point. To actually think he expected a positive answer is laughable. Although, I don’t know. This is probably just specifically me, but the bickering does wonders to seduce me. I could have sworn I felt the same energy between you two as well,” Anko insinuated unhelpfully.
Iruka huffed at that—was he the only person with the ability to see the actual truth in this friend group? It was true that after all the years Iruka had known Mr. Hatake he had developed feelings some would recognize as caring for the other man, but it was no different than what he would feel towards any of his other friends.
“I’m getting annoyed, you insufferable beings. I shall go before my father comes back. I’ll see you later,” he decided.
“Yes, we love you also, farewell,” Anko answered with a smile.
“Tell your brother I send my regards,” Tenzou said, before taking the opportunity to go back to work and letting Ibiki take a break alone with Anko.
ii.
“Her smile is the sweetest thing I’ve ever had the privilege to see,” Asuma continued going on about his latest encounter with Kurenai back in the town.
“Yes, so you’ve said,” Iruka listened to him from his place on the couch with a half open book on his lap, as per their routine.
“I know I’ve said it, moron. I just… kept seeing it in my head on my way back here. She’s always been so caring and pleasant. I love helping her with anything she needs just to see that smile in return.”
“I’ve never really understood people who are in love. Your brains function differently, I’ve theorized.” Iruka thought out loud, earning himself a hair pull from Asuma and a chuckle from himself. “I do, however, recognize that it makes you look stupidly happy. She is a sweet woman, and you’d be lucky if she returned your admiration.”
Asuma grimaced at that, because that was the most important detail, he had no hope of her ever giving him an opportunity. Which Iruka knew to be an utterly false accusation, because from everyone else’s perspective those two were completely gone for each other. But love did tend to make people more foolish, and his brother, however dear, was one of the biggest fools of them all when it came to love.
“When you’re being negative you look like papa, so don’t be. I can see her returning your affections,” Iruka tried.
He knew his brother wouldn’t try to see reason, and maybe deep down he could see why it would be easier to save yourself of the pain of confessing your love for someone at the risk of their rejection. That’s why he tried not to give his brother such a hard time with it, there was always time until he worked out the courage for it, even if there was no such thing as ever fully being ready for that.
They indulged in more easy conversation, watching the sun go down through the window, until their father arrived right before dinner.
“What did the doctor say this time?” was the first thing Iruka asked him and he received the same answer he always got.
“Healthier by the day. Let’s hope it stays that way.” Mr. Sarutobi gave his usual hug to each of them. “I did decide something new, however. I would like to meet Asuma in my study to discuss it after dinner, because I am rather hungry.”
Asuma and Iruka turned to look at each other, looking for answers none other than their father could give.
Iruka’s silly brain started to go through theories, most of them unlikely, although his brain didn’t know that. All logic abandoned his brain when he felt this way. Which is why the great fear that his father had found out about his rejecting Mr. Hatake began growing in his insides, resulting in his loss of appetite.
Growing more angsty by the second, and more annoyed by each click of silverware on the dishes, he decided he wouldn’t be able to sleep before he knew what this was about.
Right after supper their father took Asuma to his study, and Iruka followed behind. He waited until they closed the door to sneak into the library next door.
He moved towards the shelves in the joint wall, and as stealthily as he could, resettled the books to open a space where he could fit enough to press his ear to it and tried to control his breaths to hear better.
“I’m glad you found him amusing. I have yet to meet the man, though I have certainly heard Kakashi say great things about him.” The sound came a little muffled, but clear enough that he could distinguish his brother’s voice.
“I am glad you have heard good things. Perhaps you could meet him soon.
“The doctor said I’m fine now, but we never know what he will say the next time. This got me thinking of your well-being, and thanks to Kakashi and his friend, of how much we would all benefit from a marriage between you two.”
“Between Mr. Maito and I?” he could hear his brother’s astonishment in his voice.
“Well, of course. He owns half of Netherfield, not far from here, and inherited a large fortune from his father. I’d be happy to invite him over so you can meet his acquaintance.”
“Meet him—invite him over? Papa, I cannot marry him!”
“How so? I have approved of him already. Any feelings you harbor for anyone else will be gone as fast as they came. This affair would give me greater joy than anything, son.”
And there it was, his father’s signature misplaced attention, foreseeing what he wants over what his son wants. Iruka didn’t process whatever else they said until the loud thump of the door being closed pulled him from his thoughts into an unpleasant reality.
iii.
Three knocks on Asuma’s door and Iruka went inside after receiving no answer. The poor man was laying on the floor next to his bed, his gaze locked on the ceiling. He didn’t even utter a word when Iruka came in, earning a worried glance from him.
“Is there a reason you didn’t join us for breakfast?” he carefully asked, feigning ignorance.
“You heard.” He stated it as a fact. Of course, he knew Iruka well enough to expect him to have found a way to listen in.
Iruka decided then, to not beat around the bush. “You should refuse. Father will be angry, but we can handle—”
“I won’t.” Silence. “If we’re being realistic, I didn’t truly stand a chance with Miss Yūhi. I should just take the opportunity father is offering and try to find my happiness with it.” This infuriated Iruka.
“And exactly what happiness have you found lying on the floor in your undergarments?” he noted. “You should not let go of your feelings for Kurenai because of what father demands right now. You should be able to work things out at your own pace,”
“But I can’t, and it wouldn’t matter that I had more time because father is right, my unrequited feelings will be gone quickly. I’m making peace with my choice right now, so let me be.
“And I won’t say a thing about Kakashi’s proposal, so don’t be afraid to find your real happiness, brother,” Asuma declared, resigned with the situation.
Iruka on the other hand, wasn’t anywhere near reconciling this situation, but he knew it would be a lost cause to try to convince his headstrong brother and was now determined to figure out a plan that would save him from himself.
With clear purpose, he went over the various ideas arising in his head as he navigated his way through the hall to leave for Donwell, in search of his ever-aiding friends.
But to his surprise, what met him in the entrance were wide open doors that received none other than Mr. Hatake— “This got me thinking of your well-being, and thanks to Kakashi and his friend, of how much we would all benefit from an arranged marriage between you two.” —the responsible for this whole disastrous ordeal, who had clearly found other ways to meddle in their lives given Iruka’s refusal.
“It’s very pleasant to see you, Mr. Umino.” He said the words to him, but his eyes were set on the floor, as if afraid of meeting his. “Where are you headed?”
Iruka irked just from hearing him, but this could very well be a most convenient encounter for him, so he chose to ignore his question.
“You are probably here to see my father, and chances are you’ve arrived an hour late already, so maybe a few more minutes will go unnoticed. Would you mind having a word with me, Mr. Hatake?” He pronounced his name with pointed irritation and saw said man’s eyes turn from friendly approach back to the usual look he gave him.
A look of complete annoyance.
“If I think hard about it, I will mind, so speak quickly. You do so seem to be in a hurry as well,” he said evoking a challenging air. “What did you want to discuss, Mr. Umino?”
The way he said his name with a low and rough voice brought chills up Iruka’s back all the way to his neck… but he knew that wasn’t the intention, and he had no time for behaving like an idiot—Iruka went straight to the point. “Have you said anything to my father yet?”
“What—no, of course not.” Now he did look confused, no masking his emotions—except for the obvious mask he wore. Iruka had gotten used to distinguishing his expressions well enough through the years.
“Of course ,” he mocked. “Well, don’t you dare talk about your proposal or my refusal at all. Seeing as you’ve clearly done enough already, I do hope you at least try to respect this,” he spat.
After a quick glance behind his shoulder—to check if someone had listened in—he marched through the doors, not noticing Kakashi’s usual aloof demeanor morph through many emotions at once, all the way from confused to dejected.
iv.
Mr. Morino had worked many years at Donwell, a land that belonged to Mr. Yamato, who was more than happy to offer him help as well. Iruka met Mr. Morino shortly after Mr. Yamato offered him the deal.
Soon, Iruka’s and Anko’s visits started to become more frequent, and they both got to know Mr. Morino better. So much better, in fact, that their dear Miss Mitarashi began harboring strong feelings for the man. Feelings that, to her luck, were reciprocated (a pleasure not many got to enjoy), and thus came to form a rather strange but loving secret relationship between the two.
To her friends’ questioning about their secretiveness, Miss Mitarashi had answered that it gave her a thrill and kept their time together interesting, when in fact she had just been waiting on the man to pull himself together and ask for her hand already. Which is why when Mr. Morino hadn’t even flinched after Anko and Iruka explained their latest scheme, her face broke into disappointment.
It is well known that people have a tendency of overcomplicating things and dancing too much around certain topics. Sometimes, not having all the information at hand can lead to making rash decisions thought to be right, other times it is just poor judgment. What is always true is the fact that this thought process of rationalizing is rarely ever carried out.
“To see if I understand correctly, everyone will think you are dating Mr. Umino but you will continue to date Mr. Morino?” It was actually Tenzou the one who was having trouble around it, because he was the only rational enough in their group—not that his friends would admit it. “It doesn’t really seem to me like the greatest alternative.” Tenzou told Anko.
“But it is the only alternative. This way my brother will have time to work up the courage to confess his feelings and propose. We’ll just have to keep this up until then, but that won’t be a problem. No one is getting hurt by this, Tenzou,” Iruka jumped in.
“I don’t have a problem with it,” Mr. Morino added with a nod to prove Iruka’s point, earning a frustrated sigh from Anko.
Iruka, for his part, decided not to say anything to his brother, because he knew he would be against it, and he was very sure this plan would work out greatly. Now all he needed to prepare for was his father’s overenthusiasm at the news.