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Sometimes when Tim steals Bernard’s clothing from his closet, it smells like cigarettes.
Not Bernard’s room. Well actually, once in a blue moon it will, but only faintly by his window.
His clothes smell like cigarettes.
It’s easy to connect it all, mostly because Tim’s not an idiot, but also because Bernard was pretty bad at hiding it. He had left his pack of cigarettes buried under his underwear and Tim just so happened to be feeling a tiny bit clingy. The carton looks pretty beaten up, kind of like he had been holding onto them for awhile, and Tim takes note of the brand.
Later Tim will ask Jason about them out of curiosity and be told that it’s, “absolute shit, bottom of the barrel, garbage. If you’re gonna smoke Tim, do it right.” Tim denies smoking and Jason just shrugs him off.
There’s only about 3 more cigs in the pack and Tim shoved it back under the underwear. He never takes the clothes that smell like smoke.
He wonders how Bernard ended up being a recreational smoker, not that it would be an outlandish thing for him to do. Bernard has some questionable coping habits and this wouldn’t be too out there if Tim was being honest. It was pretty on brand actually. Tim wouldn’t be suprised if suddenly he finds out Bernard drives a motorcycle and plays bass in a garage band.
As much as Tim would prefer that he’d not do it, they’re taking baby steps. Bernard’s hair had finally gotten back to its high school length, minus the mullet, and he’d gotten more comfortable in his own body, letting Tim trace the scars on his back and the few down his arms.
Speaking of scars… Tim remembers a few odd looking ones dotting his spine. Little circles, a shiny almost translucent white of scar tissue, trail down his back. There’s just a few, and they look too neatly placed for Bernard to be doing it on his own.
Burn scars. Cigarette burn scars.
Maybe… it hadn’t been recreational .
——-
Right outside Bernard’s window on the second story is a ledge where the roofing comes out. It’s perfect for climbing onto and looking out over Gotham’s suburbs as they grow into the cityscape. They use it most of the time to sneak in and out of Bernard’s house, cracking the window and disappearing as they please.
And Tim pleases at the moment.
He wants Bernard’s flannel in exchange for his red button up and he’s on his way down the block when he smells it.
Someone’s smoking.
Tim hops the fencing and latches onto the gutter, tugging a few times before gripping it tight and hauling himself up. The smell gets stronger the farther he goes up and he takes a “wild guess” as to what it is.
Bernard was supposed to be asleep by now, sprawled over the bed with the covers half thrown off while Tim quietly opens a few drawers and finds what he wants before kissing Bernard on the forehead and continuing on his merry way.
Well, Bernard is awake.
He’s awake and smoking a cigarette on the roof by his window and barely even registers that someone is climbing up the side of his house.
“Well well well, what do we have here? Caught you red handed Berns” Tim teases. Bernard takes one long drag and turns his head to Tim, blowing the smoke back out through his nose like a bull in a cartoon and letting the cigarette hang loosely in between his fingers.
Tim’s hands slip for a second before he scrambles back up.
“Too hot for you baby Wayne?” Bernard says, eyes half lidded and bloodshot.
“I’m not the baby,” Tim replies. Bernard goes back to looking out in front of him and puts the cigarette to his lips again.
“Uh huh.”
Tim sighs and sits down next to Bernard, nose wrinkling at the smell. He drops the shirt in Bernard’s lap.
“I’m taking a flannel, so you get this in the meantime.”
Bernard shrugs. “Go for it.”
Tim watches him for a second before slipping through the window and rifling through the drawers. He checks the cigarette carton first, finding two missing before putting it back and digging up two flannels. One smells like smoke and one doesn’t.
He takes the one that doesn’t.
Bernard has his head resting on his arm when Tim comes back out.
“How long have you known?” he asks.
“A little while. You stopped washing your clothes as often. Your grey hoodie smelled like it had been thrown on the grill,” Tim replies. Bernard hums. Tim shrugs on the flannel and sits back down beside him. “How’d you even get them?”
Bernard doesn’t answer him.
Tim settles against him and waits. It’s quiet out where they are, close enough to see the city but not enough to get sucked into its chaos. The occasional crunch of the concrete against tires and Bernard’s own breaths are all that he can hear. Every time the smoke fills his lungs the tip of the cigarette glows bright orange before dying down as it leaves Bernard’s lips.
At some point Bernard even offers it to Tim. He shakes his head.
“No thanks,” Tim says. Bernard takes another drag. “Parents?”
Bernard laughs, hollow and dejected, and the smoke comes out in puffs.
“Ding ding ding,” he says while tapping the crown of Tim’s head. “Can’t hide anything from you, can I detective?”
Never, yet there’s so much I don’t know.
“I mean you’re not exactly a public smoker, and you’ve got your post cry face.”
Bernard rolls his eyes and blows a stream against Tim’s temple. Tim coughs and fans it away.
“Fuck you,” he coughs. “If I get accused of smoking and get in trouble it’ll be all your fault. I’ll steal half your wardrobe I swear.”
That earns him a genuine laugh, Bernard smiling freely for the first time all night.
“Do it please. It’ll make moving out of this hell hole easier.”
Tim’s eyebrows crease at the little space between them.
“You’re moving out?” he asks. Bernard cringes a bit.
“More like they’re vaguely kicking me out. They found out about the tattoo, and… may or may not have found my weed stash.”
Tim whips his head towards Bernard.
“Weed.” he says. Bernard raises his hands in surrender.
“Listen Timmy, sometimes you just have to speed shit up. I’m trying not to snap in half here,” he says while ashing the cigarette on the roof tile. He flicks the butt away and falls back limp against the house. “You can’t tell me you’ve never gotten high before. I love you, but you’re wired 24/7. How the hell do you relax?”
Tim shrugs, bringing his knees up to his chest and letting his arms hang over them.
“Hang out with you,” he says.
Bernard sighs.
“You’re a dork,” he says, “But come on, you’ve gotta have some kind of hobby. It can be geeky. I promise I won’t make fun of you.”
Tim thinks for a minute.
“Video games? Uuuuhh… Sci-Fi movies? I used to play Warlocks and Wizards,” he tries. Bernard waves him off.
“That’s normal nerd stuff. Give me something fun. Nothing can faze me babe, I joined a pain cult.”
That’s true, he thinks. But how does he say he tracks and apprehends criminals in tights every night in a normal way.
“Would it be easier if I go first? Here, I watch documentaries about people who were abducted by aliens. Your turn,” Bernard says.
“Abducted by aliens?”
“I will sell you to the highest bidder.”
Tim laughs.
“Alright umm… I read and dissect cold cases.”
Bernard lights up. “See! That’s what I’m talking about! My handsome detective.” Tim flushes a bit and smiles. “It’s settled then.”
Tim does a double take. “Wait what? What’s settled?”
“You, Tim Wayne, are gonna get high with me and go through cold cases. Dig up some good ones and I’ll get the stuff. I wanna see you enjoy something.”
“Do I get a say in this?” Tim asks.
Bernard kisses Tim on his temple and ruffles his hair.
“Nope!”
Tim sighs. “Can I make a request then?”
Bernard hums.
“Can I get the stuff and you pick some cases? If I’m gonna be smoking I’d like to know where it came from ya know? Safer, and I can enjoy something you picked for me,” Tim asks.
Bernard bites the corner of his mouth and taps his fingers.
“Alright.”
Tim bumps their shoulders. “Thanks.”
“Yeah yeah, gotta keep you comfy.”
They lean against each other and drift in and out for a little while, watching the few stars they could see.
“If that shirt comes back smelling like smoke, I’m gonna be pissed.”
“Shut up Tim.”
-----
He knows Jason is going to ask why the hell he wants weed.
What could his high functioning, genius, stuck up little brother want with a few grams?
He’s gonna have to explain and probably owe him a few favors so he doesn’t tell anyone, but honestly? Tim thinks it might be worth it.
He seems to be getting lucky so far, Jason actually accepting his request to go over to his place, and bounces on his feet in anticipation at Jason’s door.
It swings open and Jason looks him up and down, jerking his head inside and letting Tim in.
Tim enters and follows Jason into his kitchen. He cooked actual food and is in the middle of putting the leftovers up.
“I’d offer you some but I don’t feel like opening all of it back up again,” Jason says.
Tim shrugs. “I’m good, probably gonna eat later anyways.”
Jason nods and seals that last of the containers, tossing the cookware in the sink to soak.
“So whaddaya want kid?” he asks.
Tim scratches the back of his head.
“Well, remember when I asked you about that cigarette brand?”
“I’m not buying you cigarettes. You can do that yourself.”
Tim shakes his head. “No it’s not that. I don’t smoke cigarettes.” Jason just stares. “It’s just I figured that since you knew a lot about that kinda stuff you could help me with something related.”
Jason’s eyes narrow. “And that would be?”
Tim makes a few half done gestures before sighing and dropping his hands.
“Where do I like… find good weed?”
Jason stares at Tim dumbfounded before he bursts out laughing. “You sound like an undercover cop, Tim. The hell you want weed for?”
Tim could be a damn fortune teller.
“A case,” he tries. Jason rolls his eyes.
“You’re gonna have to try harder than that. You can tell me straight up that you’re finally losing it, I won’t judge. Scouts honor,” he says.
“You were never a boy scout,” Tim grumbles.
“If you don’t tell me I’m not helping you.”
Tim sighs and mumbles with his face in his hands.
“What’s that Timothy? I can’t hear you,” Jason says smirking.
“I wanna get high with my boyfriend and go through cold cases, is that too much to ask?” Tim says. “Try something new. See if it helps me “wind down” or whatever.”
Jason raises an eyebrow. “This your idea?”
“Bernard’s. He says I need to enjoy stuff. Apparently I’m too “wired”. I think I’m fine,” Tim says.
“Oh no he’s definitely right. You need to chill out every once and a while,” Jason shoots back. “I’m gonna guess he’s the one who smokes?”
Tim nods. “Yeah, that’s why I came to you. I want to get something safe you know? For both of us. I trust him, but he’s been through some shit and doesn’t really have standards when it comes to this kinda stuff. If he’s smoking garbage cigs I don’t really wanna find out what the weed will be like.”
Jason nods and leans back against the stove.
“I promise I’ll owe you if you don’t tell anyone, and I can pay for whatever. I just want this to be a me thing. Something I can do with my boyfriend without being hounded by everyone.”
“I’m not gonna tell anyone about your personal shit,” Jason cuts in. “Believe me, I get wanting them to stay out of your personal stuff. Whatever you do with Bernard is between you and him.”
Tim lets out a relieved breath. “Thanks.”
“You’re still paying for it though.”
Tim nods quickly. “No yeah yeah, of course.”
Jason snorts. “It’s just weed Tim, calm down. It’s not a big deal.”
“I know it’s just… new.”
“You trust Bernard don’t you? Just be responsible and listen to what he says. You’ll be fine,” Jason says while writing something down on a slip of paper. “Here, this gal I know deals good stuff. Always makes sure it’s clean and safe. If you end up liking it enough to do it more let her know. But I’m going to give you some first just to make sure you’re good.”
Tim takes the slip of paper and pockets it while Jason grabs a little plastic bag from his cabinet and tosses it to him.
“I’m gonna assume that you can get everything else you need so… have fun I guess. Let me know how it goes.”
Tim nods and fidgets with the bag. “Thanks Jay, I really appreciate it. I mean it.”
Jason rolls his eyes. “Go get stoned with your boyfriend Tim.”
-----
Tim has no clue how to roll a blunt, so he watches Bernard do it like he’s been doing it for years.
“Can you hook up my computer to your TV for me?” he asks. Tim nods and goes to fiddle with the adaptor while Bernard finishes wrapping it all up.
“Voila!” Bernard says, holding up the blunt to show off. “I think I did a pretty good job.”
Tim barely looks at it, humming while he finally pulls up everything on the screen. Bernard’s smile falls.
“Hey, listen. We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know I said you had no say but that was a joke, you know that right? I would never force you into something you don’t wanna do,” he says. Tim shakes his head and moves to sit back down next to Bernard.
“I know you wouldn’t. I do want to try, I’m just… nervous? I don’t know. You can read all about something, but there isn’t really anything you can do to figure out how it feels without actually doing it first,” Tim says. Bernard smiles.
“It’ll be ok, I promise. You don’t even have to go straight for the blunt if you don’t want to,” he says. Tim tilts his head.
“What do you mean?” he asks. Bernard pulls a lighter out from his pocket and flicks it, a little flame licking up and keeping steady as he rests it against the end of the blunt. The tiny embers glow as Bernard takes his first inhale, letting it settle in his lungs before blowing back out.
“Here,” he says, taking Tim’s hand and balling it up before bringing the thumb side to Tim’s mouth. “Make a little tunnel and I’ll blow into it. You breathe it in while it comes through and then in again when you get all of it. Then just let it back out when you want to,” he says carefully before taking another drag. He balls up his own hand before pressing it against Tim’s and putting his lips to his thumb. He blows out slowly and Tim watches some of the smoke slither out from behind Bernard’s hand before remembering to inhale. Tim sucks in and feels the warmth sink down to his lungs, making his chest feel fuzzy. He’s so busy looking Bernard in the eye and seeing the smoke curl over his lips that he forgets to inhale again. He coughs it out and Bernard pats his back.
“Almost had it,” he laughs. Tim waves it off and shakes his head.
“Smells like skunk,” he chokes.
“Yeah sorry, we’ll febreeze after or something. Let me know if you wanna stop at any point, I won’t push you. First try is always the hardest,” Bernard says. Tim nods and leans back into the couch.
They start the powerpoint Bernard had made and shotgun a few more times through the tunnel before Bernard pulls Tim’s hands down for a change. He comes in close for what looks like a kiss and Tim has to hold back from rushing forward when he remembers Bernard has a chest full of smoke. Their lips graze and Bernard’s free hand comes around to settle on the back of Tim’s neck, cradling his head. He exhales and Tim takes it in, eyes falling shut and finally letting the calm wash over him.
Tim feels good, like he could curl into Bernard and sleep on the couch forever. He’s having fun listening to Bernard’s wild hypotheses about each case while he flips through all the evidence, quietly letting Tim work out all the details in his mind. He does brave the blunt itself eventually, earring a kiss on the cheek and head on his shoulder.
They don’t last like that for very long though and they even end up abandoning the powerpoint in favor of lying across the couch with each other. Tim’s hands are trapped under Bernard’s back and he really likes the sensation of it, the warm pressure grounding him while he squishes his face against Bernard’s chest. He focuses on the feeling of it rising and falling, every sense buzzing while his thoughts slow down.
“Good?” Bernard asks. Tim hums in content. Bernard smiles and runs a hand through Tim’s hair. “Good.”
“S’ better than I thought it’d be,” Tim slurs, “Thought I’d freak out.”
Bernard shrugs. “If you do it wrong, yeah, too much or bad stuff. It’s what I did.”
Tim frowns into his chest. “You got scared?” Bernard hums.
“They gave me bad stuff and let me have too much. Started seeing shit,” he says.
It’s hard hearing about things like that from Bernard. Tim wants so badly to ask Bernard about everything that had happened, how it did and who decided to drag him so far down. He feels like Bernard should be able to not have an experience like this ruined by whatever part of him had been torn through from the past.
Tim wishes he could wash Bernard clean of all of it. Not as if Bernard was dirty from it, but just that Tim wants him to be free from it.
“Well, this is good,” Tim mumbles. “Thanks Bee.”
Bernard smiles and pulls Tim up, wrapping his arms around him and crushing Tim against him. He kisses the crown of Tim’s head and buries his face into his shoulder. He laughs when Bernard’s hair tickles his neck and he kisses him on the cheek, sighing while he falls limp and useless against him.
“You’re welcome Tee.”
-----
Tim ends up contacting the lady Jason had told him about, and gets a call from Jason later about how she had been offered triple her pay from someone he had recommended her too.
Jason vaguely chews him out over the phone about not filling him in on how it was, but in the end he just threatens him to keep paying the gal triple and may or may not have gotten an invitation to smoke with him at some point. He’s not totally sure on that one but whatever.
He’ll just have to bring Bernard to help get him started.