Chapter Text
One moment, Zenitsu was up in a tree, pressing his tear-covered face against the bark so he wouldn't have to see Jii-chan's face, sobbing loud enough to drown out the sound of disappointment coming from the man. The next, he was on the ground, burning from the inside out, unable to move or breath or hear. He blacked out with the knowledge that he was going to die in the most pathetic way possible- face-down in the charred grass in front of the only family he had ever known.
At first, the flash of lightning filled Kuwajima Jigoro with surprised pride. Had his student managed to get so upset that he accidently did a thunder breathing form for the first time?
That pride shriveled into fear when Zenitsu was thrown from the tree and onto the ground below as the bark exploded with a bang. No, he didn't do one of the forms, he was struck by lightning, and in the middle of a sunny blue-skied day. What horrible luck this kid had!
Jigoro ran to Zenitsu's side, panic moving him faster than the old man had run in a long time. Zenitsu laid face down in the grass, limp and unmoving. And not breathing.
Jigoro flipped him over, muscle memory guiding him through the movements of pressing on his chest to restart his heart and lungs. Jigoro had never felt so scared in his life as he tried to resuscitate his student. Teardrops dripped onto Zenitsu's clothing. It was the first time Jigoro had cried in twenty years.
"Shit," the stunned voice of his older student came from beside him. Kaigaku must've heard the sound of the blast and come out to investigate.
"Is he dead?" Kaigaku asked, very little emotion in his voice. Jigoro didn't respond, too busy trying to get Zenitsu's heart to begin beating again.
Finally, the younger boy gasped a horrible wheeze, breathing again. His pulse was unsteady, but he was alive.
"Kaigaku, I need you to carry him inside. Be gentle. I may have broken some of his ribs trying to get him to breathe again."
Usually, Kaigaku would just refuse to do anything that put him anywhere near Zenitsu, but he could hear how serious Jigoro was this time, so he picked him up without complaint, though he certainly didn't put any extra effort into being gentle. He followed the old man into the house and then into Zenitsu's room, where he laid him on the futon Zenitsu never bothered to put away in the oshiire during the day.
Kaigaku stood awkwardly above the futon after that, not really sure what to do. He wanted to leave, but he couldn't do that without risking Jigoro's wrath and he did not want to fight with the old man right now.
"Go down to town and fetch Hayakawa-san," Jigoro ordered. Kaigaku practically sprinted out of the room to grab the doctor.
Alone in the room with Zenitsu, Jigoro sat beside the futon, placing his hand to the boy's neck so he could feel his pulse. So he could feel that the boy who he regarded as a son was alive. Now that the panic of the incident had faded, Jigoro could study the damage the lightning had caused.
Previously black hair was now blond, which was something Jigoro didn't think was possible or normal to occur after getting struck by lightning. The next thing he noticed were the burns on Zenitsu's face which started at his eyes and traced tear-tracks down his face. The heat of the lightning must've caused his tears to evaporate and burn his face.
Blood had dried on his ears. Jigoro wet a cloth and gently cleaned it off. He could see that Zenitsu's ears had been bleeding. He didn't try to clean the insides, too fearful he would hurt him further.
Jigoro took his hand. It was so much smaller in his own than he thought. Zenitsu hardly let anyone touch him, he would flinch away if you tried, eyes wide in startled fear before he realised it was only Jigoro, and then he would blush in shame. He didn't flinch away now, still sleeping. Even though Jigoro was frail and hunched over with age, Zenitsu looked so small to him now. He was just a boy still. Just a boy who nearly died today.
"Sensei, we're back" Kaigaku's voice came from the doorway. Behind him stood Hayakawa Fuyumi. She was a younger woman who had studied in Tokyo to become a doctor.
Jigoro stood and bowed.
"I heard he was struck by lightning?" Hayakawa-san peered around Jigoro to look at Zenitsu.
"Yes. He was climbing the oak tree in the backyard," Jigoro pointed outside the open shoji doors, where the remains of the tree smouldered.
"I see…" Hayakawa-san said, a look of hesitance on her face. "There was no storm?"
"No. The lightning came from out of nowhere."
The doctor mumbled something under her breath about Raijin and angry spirits.
"Hey, we have a shrine for him in our house!" Kaigaku said. "Zenitsu cleans it every day, no way Raijin would hurt him!"
Jigoro was pleasantly surprised at Kaigaku's actions. This was probably the closest he had ever come to saying something nice about his brother. Of course, he couldn't let Kaigaku aggravate the doctor.
"Kaigaku, please, prepare some tea while Hayakawa-san takes a look at Zenitsu," Jigoro said. When Kaigaku left, he turned back to the doctor. "I apologise. Kaigaku can be…"
"It's okay. I shouldn't be so quick to think about curses. It is my duty as a doctor to take care of people, and in suggesting that your grandson angered a god I have only hurt your family more," Hayakawa-san kneeled down beside Zenitsu and began to pull a few items from her bag. "Please, tell me what happened."
As Jigoro spoke, Hayakawa-san looked over Zenitsu's injuries. When she heard that Zenitsu had stopped breathing for a time, she told Jigoro that Zenitsu likely suffered a heart attack, as was standard among victims of lightning strikes.
She then looked at the burns on his face, coming to the same conclusion as Jigoro- his tears had evaporated and left him with steam burns. She gently cleaned the burns, applied an ointment, and covered them with little bandages.
Next, she noticed the blood in his ears and informed Jigoro that his eardrums had ruptured from the force of the lightning strike. "His hearing may be muffled for a while while it heals. Make sure to keep water out of his ears for a few weeks until it is back to normal."
Hayakawa-san then asked for help undressing Zenitsu so she could get a better look at the rest of his injuries. Guilt flooded Jigoro when he saw the bruises on Zenitsu's ribs- the bruises he had put there while bringing him back to life. He was covered in burns too, and red marks in the shape of lightning, like the lightning had branded itself onto his skin.
"Wow!" Hayakawa-san said, "I've never seen marks like these in person before! These," she pointed to the lightning-like marks that littered Zenitsu's arms and back, "Are caused by burst blood vessels." Then, she moved her attention to the burns. "These burns are of moderate severity. I'm afraid they'll hurt worse before they get better."
The doctor applied cooled compresses to the burns, the bulk of which were on Zenitsu's upper back. These she wrapped in loose bandages and instructed Jigoro how to care for, leaving an ointment and a cream for when the burns were better healed. Together, they bundled Zenitsu in several blankets and propped him up with a few pillows.
"When will he wake up?" Jigoro asked.
"I don't know. When he does, make sure he gets plenty of fluids. He will likely be confused at first, and he may experience difficulty moving, thinking, or speaking for some time. I don't mean to be a bearer of bad news, but lightning strikes can cause permanent damage."
Jigoro's heart sank.
Before Hayakawa-san left, they sat at the tea table and had the tea Kaigaku made (a bit too strong and bitter for anyone's tastes, but that is just what happens when you let Kaigaku make the tea) while the doctor left a few medicines and wrote down instructions for Zenitsu's care. She grimaced as she swallowed down most of the tea in one gulp, then bade them farewell, urging them to call on her if ever they needed her.
Jigoro "accidentally" spilled his tea on the table when he waved her goodbye.
Zenitsu wasn't quite sure whether he was alive or dead. Everything hurt really really bad. He couldn't move. Most worryingly, he couldn't hear.
His inability to move or hear told him he had to be dead. That was the only way to explain the absence of sound. After all, even if there was nothing else making noise, he surely would hear his own heartbeat.
But he didn't, which had to mean he didn't have a heartbeat, which had to mean he is dead.
The pain told him he must be alive, since you can't hurt if you're dead, right? Unless you're in Hell, probably, but Zenitsu didn't think he deserved to be in Hell. Sure, he'd been a pathetic coward all his life but he'd never hurt anyone or done anything worse than stealing food, and the stealing he felt could be forgiven since it was either that or starve.
No, he hadn't done anything to deserve going to Hell, so the only other option is that he is alive.
Yes, if he focused through the inky black silence, and if he felt beyond the burning pain, he could feel soft blankets wrapping him up. He used the feeling of the blankets to anchor him, to assure him that he was alive and swaddled in blankets somewhere.
A cool breeze ruffled his hair, bringing with it the sweet smell of grass and peach trees and flowers. It was the smell of the garden outside his home, meaning he must be home! Zenitsu broke into a proud grin at his detective skills.
Just then, something touched his face.
Zenitsu felt himself scream (though didn't hear it), and if he were able to move he would've rocketed backwards.
The hand went to his hair instead, petting soothingly. Okay, so the hand wasn't going to hurt him. Probably. In fact, it felt more like whoever owned this hand was trying to calm him down.
Zenitsu slowly opened his eyes, squinting in the low light of the room. The sun was setting.
Jii-chan! He felt himself say, seeing the man sitting beside his futon. He looked weary and worried. Zenitsu wondered what could cause him to look like that. Had he done something wrong? Zenitsu began to cry, mistaking Jii-chan's worry for disappointment.
Jii-chan's mouth moved, like he was saying something. This only made Zenitsu cry harder. He couldn't hear the old man talking, and he couldn't hear his heartbeat, the beat that was calm and strong, that always sounded so kind even when Jii-chan was dragging him back for more training.
Zenitsu figured out he was able to move again when his arms came up, clumsier than usual, so he could grip his fingers in his hair and pull at it in frustration. Jii-chan took hold of his wrists and pulled his hands away, mouth moving again.
Then Jii-chan left the room.
Zenitsu cried harder, already feeling a headache coming on. Had he done something bad and now Jii-chan was abandoning him? Had he disappointed him? He tried to think back to everything that had happened. He needed to figure out why he couldn't hear and why Jii-chan was disappointed.
He had been in the tree, crying, like usual. And Jii-chan had been trying to get him to come down, and Zenitsu had told him he had been training even during the nights to get better. Was Jii-chan mad about that? No, there was something else…
Zenitsu tried to sit up, but the room spun and he started to feel like he would puke if he moved. He caught a glimpse of the yard through the open shoji doors. The moment he saw the burnt husk of the oak tree, everything came back. There had been a flash of light, and a boom so loud it made his ears feel like they would pop, and then there was the scent of something burning and he was on the ground, body screaming in pain.
Jii-chan came back into the room with the chalkboard he had been using to teach Zenitsu to read. He wrote something on the board, using the neat hiragana alphabet which was the only one Zenitsu knew at present. Living on the streets wasn't exactly a great place to learn to read, so Jii-chan had taken it upon himself to teach him, even if it seemed he was getting nowhere with kanji or katakana at all. Originally Jii-chan thought Kaigaku could teach him, but one bloody nose later, that plan had changed.
Are you not able to hear? Zenitsu took a moment to read the words on the chalkboard.
'I can't hear anything at all!' Zenitsu said (probably shouted, if Jii-chan's wince was anything to go by). ' Why can't I hear? And why do I hurt so bad? I'm really scared!' Zenitsu burst into tears again.
His silent world was scary. All his life, he had relied on his hearing the most of any of his senses. It was the one thing he was ever any good at, and now it was gone.
Now he couldn't hear the sounds of the peach trees creaking, or the birds singing in the garden, or the heartbeats of his family. He could only hear a high-pitched ringing.
Would he never hear again?
You were struck by lightning. Your eardrums are (now here was a word Zenitsu didn't know) your hearing will likely be back in a few weeks. Zenitsu pointed to the word he couldn't read, and Jii-chan replaced it with the word burst.
Zenitsu screeched. ' Burst? Burst?! They aren't supposed to burst! What does that mean? Am I gonna die? I'm gonna die, aren't I? And I won't even be able to hear you when I die! This is so scary!'
Jii-chan rubbed the sides of his head as if staving off a headache, erased the board and wrote something else. When he was done, he flipped it over for Zenitsu to see. You won't die. Take some medicine. Jii-chan put the board down and handed Zenitsu a cup.
Zenitsu stared at the cup for a moment. He had never actually had medicine before. It was kind of scary. What if it tasted bad, or made him feel weird? He glanced at Jii-chan, floundering without the sound of his heartbeat to guide him. How would he know if he was doing something wrong if he couldn't hear Jii-chan's sound?
The old man gave him an encouraging nod, and Zenitsu looked back at the cup. The medicine was an unnatural orange that looked like tea. He sniffed it. It had a strong, spicy herbal smell. Was it tea?
'Is this tea, Jii-chan?'
Medicinal tea, the old man wrote. He also wrote the kanji for tea underneath the hiragana. Of course he would use Zenitsu's (hopefully) temporary deafness as a teaching moment.
Zenitsu scowled into the tea, then took a small taste.
'EW! EW! YOU TRICKED ME! THIS IS DISGUSTING!' It tasted like someone had put large amounts of cinnamon and turmeric into vinegar and put some grass in there too.
Jii-chan just watched Zenitsu's antics, sighing and wondering not for the first time what had possessed him to take in students.
In the end, Zenitsu took the medicine, but only because Jii-chan promised to give him taiyaki and some of that foreign chocolate stuff he bought last time he was in the city. That took the gross taste out of his mouth.
When Zenitsu finished the chocolate, he decided to see just how badly he was hurt. He could feel bandages on his cheeks, and his back seemed to be covered in loose cloth that hurt his skin when it rubbed against him. His ribs were wrapped up, and it hurt to breathe. He brought his hands up to his ears. His fingers met soft cotton wrapping them up. Whenever he turned his head, he would get nauseous and dizzy.
He closed his eyes for a bit, hoping to push down the vertigo.
Zenitsu didn't notice when Jii-chan left, or when Kaigaku replaced him. He really was helpless without his hearing. It startled him, when he opened his eyes to see that Kaigaku's mocking grin faced him in place of Jii-chan's patient smile.
His older brother had a cruel look on his face, and he seemed to be laughing. Zenitsu felt his face burn in humiliation. Even without his hearing, he could imagine the sound of Kaigaku's laughter. It was always full of hatred rather than joy. It reminded him too much of the laughter of some boy he met when he was living on the streets, a boy who used to catch small animals and hurt them, delighting in the horrible act. People used to say that boy would go on to kill someone one day.
Sometimes Zenitsu was scared that Kaigaku would too.
'What?' Zenitsu asked, more irritated than afraid today. Didn't Kaigaku have something better to do?
Kaigaku stood and took the mirror off the wall, shoving it into Zenitsu's hands. Oh god, he really didn't want to look. He really didn't want to see whatever it was that caused Kaigaku to laugh at him. Was his skin all burnt? His hair? He didn't need anything else to be insecure about. He already hated his face, and his eyes, and his teeth, and the his stupid hair which Jii-chan had unnsecessfully cut using sewing scissors and a wooden rice bowl. He hated the spattering of freckles on his nose that looked more like dirt than freckles, he hated how pale his skin was, he hated his bushy eyebrows and his too-big nose and the scar on his forehead where he had been thrown against a wall by some older kids for being a crybaby.
And he was crying now. He was crying, and he hadn't even seen himself in the mirror.
Kaigaku grabbed his hair in a cruel grip and forced his head up to look into the mirror.
Zenitsu could barely see through the stream of his tears. He had to squint to make out his face in the mirror.
Yellow.
His hair was yellow.
Zenitsu screeched and tumbled back, causing him a great deal of pain because Kaigaku hadn't let go of his hair.
Jigoro came rushing in when he heard the scream, but by then, Kaigaku had sat himself innocently away from Zenitsu.
"What happened?" Jigoro asked, looking back and forth between his students. Zenitsu had his face buried under several blankets, sobbing so hard his entire body was shaking from the force of it.
"I don't know. He asked for a mirror and then he started crying when he looked in it," Kaigaku shrugged. Somehow, Jigoro didn't fully believe Kaigaku, but there was nothing he could do.
"Help me make dinner," Jigoro gestured for his elder student to follow him. He should have known that making Kaigaku watch over Zenitsu for a bit while he cooked was a bad idea.
At this point, Zenitsu didn't even care who was in the room with him. He would cry all he wanted to, thank you very much! Did it really matter who he was embarrassing himself in front of, when today was already the worst day of his entire, miserable life?
And that was saying something. The day his mom abondened him in the middle of a city they'd never been to had been pretty bad. The day a group of older boys had decided to make him their collective punching bag had been pretty bad. The day his fiancée left him had been pretty bad. But today was the worst because for once in his life things were finally managing to turn out alright. He wasn't starving anymore, he didn't need to steal anymore, he wasn't freezing anymore. He had a family. And then everything came crashing down again because God hates Agatsuma Zenitsu and wants him to suffer.
Maybe he was a really horrible person in his past life, and this life was his punishment. Being struck by lightning is unlucky. Being struck by lightning on a clear day with no storms in sight? Even unluckier. It had to be some kind of divine retribution.
He turned on his side, choking on the sobs coming out of him, watching the sun set. He wished he could hear the crickets and the cicadas. He wished he could hear anything other than the buzz of self-hatred that he could usually push to the background beneath all the other noises.