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It's been a long time coming, and the big night finally arrived. They knew this had to be done since the incident with the rock, or rather, since Imogen and Laudna managed to figure out their relationship after the incident with the rock, and were able to focus on what was really concerning about it: Delilah Briarwood having some sort of control over Laudna. She had to be removed from Laudna's head, the sooner the better. It was too dangerous, who knows what else could she do, what powers might she acquire.
It's already taken too long to attempt this, in Imogen's opinion. It's been months, because they were always pursuing a handful of goals at the same time, but now they were finally prepared, or as much as they could be by now. Imogen has read many books, both on necromancy and on telepathy, and she has grown in her power. The lightning scars were almost past her elbow already, and even though there was still so much to learn about her dreams and the moon and how her powers came to be, she felt much more confident and in control of her abilities.
Still, she was afraid it wouldn't be enough. As much research as she made, there was no way to fully prepare for what they would attempt. The human mind is not an exact science, it's more like a labyrinth, each person's different in its intricacies, and as much as she knew Laudna like she knew herself, she could still get lost in it. And there's the fact that she's never tried to take something out of someone's mind before. There was nothing in the books that gave her a direction for how to do it. What if she couldn't? What if it went terribly wrong?
Imogen didn't notice she was gripping her hands on each other this hard, until familiar cold fingers asked for passage between her palms. She relaxed a bit, holding Laudna's hand between hers, fingers entwining like they used to, and the cool touch was immediately soothing.
"You can do it, dear. Don't worry so much, it's going to be fine." Her voice made Imogen look up, and a smile made its way to her lips as soon as she met the dark calming pools of her eyes.
"Are you readin' minds now?" It was a bad joke, but they shared a small laugh.
"I don't need to, not with you." Her tone was light, but earnest, and for a second Imogen just let herself bask in that sweet connection, and the comfort of their eyes locked like that. "You'll do great, Imogen. You're the most capable person I know… I know I keep saying that, but it's because that's true."
"What if it's not enough, though?"
"Then we keep moving forward. We keep learning and trying, until we succeed. As long as we have each other, nothing can stop us, right?" Laudna's optimism made her smile, but her own concern didn't let the smile last. She squeezed the cold hand between hers, and took a deep breath before she let out what was really making her nervous.
"I'm afraid this will hurt you, Laudna. I'm afraid I will hurt you."
Laudna's hand squeezed hers back, and the other one touched her face in a soothing caress, which Imogen leaned into almost instinctually.
"You won't. You could never hurt me, Imogen." Her voice was soft, and it filled Imogen's chest with warmth. She leaned forward to touch their foreheads, and they stayed like that for a moment, just leaning on reach other, taking their strength from the bond they shared.
"I'm ready!" They heard FCG from the other room, and the moment was broken.
"There we go-oh!" Laudna sang, as they stood up and followed their friend's voice.
Before they entered the room, Imogen grabbed Laudna's hand again, stopping her.
Laudna? I love you. She said in her head, the words too precious to be uttered out loud. It wasn't the first time she said that. And it wouldn't be the last, she told herself.
I love you too, Imogen. The song in her head was full of emotions, and it gave her hope that it would be fine.
They went in the room that Fresh Cut Grass prepared, and then it started. Letters had learned some hypnosis techniques, and they would put Laudna in a kind of trance state, so the walls in her mind would be down and Imogen could have more access. It took some minutes, but soon enough Laudna looked like she was sleeping, and FCG gave Imogen the green light to go in. They would stay there, fueling Imogen's power and giving support if it was needed.
She took a deep breath, and lowered her own mental walls, focusing on Laudna. The music was faint, but there, and unmistakably her . It wasn't like when she was sleeping, not the slow but erratic melody of her dreams, it sounded like her waking thoughts, only in a lower volume and steadier pace. No coherent thoughts, either, just her music.
Imogen went deeper, her eyes going white, and everything around her vanished. Laudna's melody was all around her, and it enveloped her in the dark, blissful as always. Imogen focused, trying to figure out where she was in the labyrinth of Laudna's mind. And then her vision shifted, the light surrounding everything before her vision cleared.
She was in a farm, the sun burning brightly over a green and blooming field. In the horizon, she could see beautiful whitish sierras, and the walls of a city afar, the towers of a beautiful castle rising above, and… was that the top of a tree, above the walls? Imogen never saw a tree that tall, she thought to herself. She's never been to that place before, but somehow she knew where she was. It has the warm feeling of a childhood home. She heard the song again, the beautiful melody of Laudna's thoughts, and even though they were all around her, they were also coming from somewhere specific.
She turned her focus around, and there she was. Laudna. Alive. She was younger in this memory, maybe in her early teens, and so different from the woman she is now, but Imogen would recognize her in any form. And she was a lovely child, flowy dark hair, olive skin, face flushed for being in the sun, singing while she magically mended a wooden fence. Imogen smiled too, enraptured for a moment by the fact that her lively and happy expression still remains the same.
She looked deeper, trying to grasp at her mind at that time, and if she thought Laudna's mind was normally pure, this was… just beautiful. She was beautiful, hopeful and cheerful and creative and just blooming with energy and joy. There was not a hint of sadness or hurt or anything bad.
Then she felt her heartbeat flutter and butterflies in her stomach. No, not hers, Laudna's . The girl's eyes were no longer on the fence she was mending, but on some point beyond, and Imogen followed her gaze to find she was looking at a girl, carrying a basket with fruit a few feet away, auburn hair shining at the sun. Young Laudna beams at the sight of her, and realization hits Imogen.
Oh, so that's Andy, huh?
"Who's there?" young Laudna immediately turns around, finding nobody close. "Who said that? Come back here!"
The girl seems intrigued, and Imogen is startled. Did she hear her? How was that possible? Could Imogen interfere in her memories like that? It didn't make any sense, but there was no other noise that young Laudna could have heard. So what exactly did happen?
But there was no use in mulling over there, not right now. She could maybe research it later, but there were more pressing matters at hand. Imogen wasn't there to snoop into memories, she was there to remove Delilah. Just a few minutes in, and she was already getting lost in the maze of Laudna's memories. She took a breath and focused, turning around in the labyrinth trying to find her way to Delilah. She sharpened her focus and directed her will to it. Delilah.
Delilah.
Her vision shifted again. A dinner. Fancy food, a big hall, silverware and porcelain clattering. Shit, another memory. This one wasn't as bright, and it was somehow fuzzy around the edges, but there were some points of focus. Laudna there, her thoughts just happiness and awe, a large smile on her face. People around. Imogen didn't know them, but Laudna did, so somehow Imogen knew them too.
Mother, thin and tall and gracious like she belonged in those halls, and Laudna looked up to her and tried to follow her lead. Father, large and fumbling with the complicated silverware. Her little brother, not older than eight, nudged their middle brother, a scrawny teenager, then pointed at father making a mess, and Laudna tried to reprimand them with a look as the boys started laughing. Even her uncle and his son were there, and Laudna didn't know exactly why but she wouldn't question kindness, she was relishing the chance to dress up and have such a good meal and make her family rise up because of her abilities, it was a dream coming true.
And then the door opens and Imogen sees her. Delilah. Brown hair pulled up in a fancy updo, pretty dress, impeccable posture as she walked down the hall, a large and pale man by her side. The whole family stood up to greet them with a bow, and only when they were allowed to stand again, mother stepped up to speak.
"M'lord, m'lady, it's an honor to be here, and we are very proud that our daughter's magic gifts might be useful to you, m'lady."
Imogen felt Laudna's music ramp up with pride and anticipation, but the pale man chuckled in clear distain. Delilah, however, gently touched his arm in a subtle gesture before stepping closer to the family.
"And may I have a sample of said gifts ?" Her voice was soft and carefully paced, and Laudna's heart thumped in her ears as she fumbled to get closer to the woman, anxious to prove herself.
"Excuse me, my lady." She took a cup from the table and smashed it, to then immediately mend it back together with a flick of her fingers. Delilah only arched an eyebrow, not looking impressed at all, and Laudna's eagerness became a bit more nervous. "I'm quite good with mending, but I can do some other tricks as well, if my lady would like to see."
Delilah chuckles and shakes her head, seeming almost amused. "I've seen enough. Guards!"
Then the scene fades to black again.
The next thing she knows, Imogen is inside a dungeon cell, cold stone walls all around her. Laudna's sitting on the floor, manacles on her wrists, tears streaking down her face as her family's screams echo down the hall. If her mind before was pure untainted happiness, what Imogen heard now was the exact opposite. There was nothing but hurt, sadness, despair, and an all encompassing guilt. It was all laced in this desperate, erratic and melancholic melody that broke Imogen's heart in a thousand pieces.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" she repeated between sobs and tears.
This is all my fault, I didn't do enough to impress her, I wasn't enough, I failed, I failed my family, now they're suffering because I'm weak and I failed, this is all my fault…
Those terrible words echoed in Laudna's head, and Imogen only wanted to hug her, to comfort her and tell her it wasn't her fault. But she was afraid to intervene in the memory again. Who knows what could happen if she did? Instead, she tried to focus her mind out of there. Somebody stepped closer to her cell, and the door creaked open.
"Oh you're sorry already, are you? Let's see how sorry you'll be when we finish." Imogen heard a cruel, raspy voice but she refused to even look.
She knew very well what would happen next, and that was the last thing in the world she would want to see. She willed her way out of that memory, knowing she couldn't bear to witness Laudna suffering anymore. Her vision faded to black again, and she tried to find a direction. She needed to escape the memories altogether, which was easier said than done, but she tried to will her mind out of that maze and focus on her goal. The root of Delilah's influence on Laudna. She needed to find that root and rip it out.
The root of Delilah's influence.
The sound of a rope being pulled taut and a crack, and Imogen felt cold. A deep searing cold that reached her bones and made her feel like she would never be warm again.
Then her vision cleared, and she saw a root. The actual root of a tree. Looking up, Imogen recognized the enormous tree from the other memory, the one that rises above the city walls, even though now it was bare of any leaves. And then she saw the corpses hanging from it. Laudna's family, their bodies desecrated by paint and mutilation to look like other people. The cold sensation intensified as she stared at Laudna, wearing leathers, still no white in her braided hair, a blue feather tucked under an unnaturally pointed ear.
That wasn't a memory. It couldn't be, because Laudna was dead. Actually dead. No shallow breath, no slow heartbeat, and in her mind there was only silence. It was desolate, to not hear the song of Laudna's thoughts, the silence was maddening. But Imogen made an effort to control her emotions and wait. This was it, she knew. The root of Delilah's influence. The moment her powers first touched Laudna. She just had to wait.
And sure enough, it happened. Laudna's eyes opened suddenly, a green light emanating from them, and her body began to trash, trying to escape the rope.
Still, there was no music to be heard. Imogen frowned, and stared into the sickly green eyes, looking deeper into her mind. Nothing. It was absolutely silent, just as it was before. But it couldn't be. How could it be? Desperate, Imogen dug even deeper, trying to see what was going on. But she couldn't see anything, Laudna's mind was dark and cold and silent, like a thick fog was covering everything. Panicking, Imogen reached deeper and deeper, grasping for something, anything .
Then she realized, there really was a fog, covering and smothering everything. And as she tapped into the fog, she felt it. Her . Not Laudna, Delilah. Her corrupted magic rang in the fog like a low hum, soft but powerful, demanding, all-consuming, controlling. The command was wordless, but clear: Rise. Move. Kill. It was all around, and it left no space for anything else. No space for Laudna and her song. Imogen felt a deep sense of dread, to think this pernicious force could take over her girl. Her love. No, she couldn't let that happen, she could never let that happen.
Get away from her!
She felt the fog draw back, only a little bit. Imogen smiled with her progress, and doubled her effort. She projected forward her protectiveness, that fierce side of her that came out every time she felt Laudna could be in danger. She harnessed her power, fueling it up with all the love she has for Laudna, all the love they shared , everything they still had ahead of them, and the sense that Laudna, the sweetest most precious person in the world, Laudna deserves to be happy, she deserves to live without her murderer threatening to take over her body.
Imogen pushed harder, and it started to slowly cast away that dark fog. It was almost literally like trying to catch smoke with her fingers, even as she pushed the fog kept sipping back in, but Imogen couldn't give up, wouldn't give up.
She thought about Laudna, heart in her eyes, lighting a room with her warm smile, giving her all to everything she did, making everyone laugh with her puppets and her jokes, being ever so kind and caring and brilliant and fierce and wonderful. She thought about the little girl in the memory, the purest mind Imogen ever saw. She thought about the dinner, the last moment of that untainted happiness. And she thought about all the misery and pain Delilah brought her, every day since.
Then the rope gave, and Laudna's body fell on the ground, bones breaking with a heart wrenching noise. Without missing a bit, without waiting to mend, she got up and started to walk, joining a horde of other walking corpses, green light in her eyes. No, no, no, that wasn't right, that wasn't Laudna in control! That wasn't right!
Get away from my girl, you bitch!
She gave a stronger push, and felt an invisible bubble forming, keeping the fog away. It was still there, lurking in the edges, but it wasn't taking up all the space in Laudna's mind anymore. But… it was still empty. Something was wrong. Where was the music? Where were Laudna's thoughts? The fog cleared and it left nothing behind.
No. No no no no no no…
That couldn't be. She pushed Delilah's influence away. Where was Laudna?
Laudna? LAUDNA! She called, inside her head, but no answer.
Outside, Laudna's body still moved through the streets of the city along with the horde. The green light was still there, though a bit more dull than before, and her movement started to slow down.
Laudna! Laudna, I know you're there! Can you hear me?
A note. Just a G. A harp string being pulled and reverberating for a second before fading out. Then silence. Grave silence. Imogen felt her chest clench with fear. Keeping the bubble up, keeping the dark fog of Delilah's power outside, was taking so much of her strength, almost all of it. But she had to muster more, she had to muster enough to pull Laudna back to her own mind, to fill the space that Delilah was trying to take. Couldn't let Delilah take over.
She thought again about the woman she loved, about her pretty voice, her warm embrace even with the cold skin, and all the little ways she made the world better just by being in it. She thought about all the things that made Laudna who she was, and tried to call for it, pull it towards her.
Laudna! Where are you? Please, I need you! Come to me, baby, follow my voice!
A chord now, an E minor. Then silence again. But Imogen felt a weird sense of direction, like Laudna was trying to reach for her. She pushed her mind to follow that direction, but she felt it straining, and the bubble seemed to falter. It was so heavy, the longer it took the harder it was to hold that up, and Imogen feared she wouldn't be able to do it for much longer. But she had to be, not for herself but for Laudna. She remembers, then, all the times Laudna said she's capable and strong. Laudna had always trusted her, and Imogen had to honor that.
She reached again, and felt like a hand was grabbing hers. A cold and very familiar hand. She started to pull, making an effort to not let go of the bubble. Pull Laudna in, keep Delilah away. It felt insurmountable, like she was being dragged in two opposite directions, like she was trying to lift a house from the ground with her bare hands. It felt like too much, like she wouldn't be strong enough… she felt like faltering, but instead she just held Laudna tighter. She wouldn't let go, couldn't let go. Just a little bit more, she just needed to be a little bit stronger. For Laudna, she could be stronger for Laudna.
So she harnessed everything she had, and it felt like her mind was bursting, but she pushed it stronger and everything went white for a second, bright, blinding white and she felt like screaming, she heard her own yell reverberating through the searing white.
And then it stopped, the pain just stopped. The white faded, and her scream silenced, and instead there was music. Laudna's music, full and loud and beautiful, filling the space in her mind, filling the bubble Imogen created. And Imogen realized she wasn't holding that bubble anymore, she didn't need to, because Laudna's music was enough to hold Delilah's fog on the edges. Outside, Launda had stopped, and the green light had faded from her eyes. The familiar white streak was in her hair now. She was looking at her hands in horror and shock, and the song in her mind became frantic and desperate, as she ran away from the horde, away from the city.
Imogen let herself crumble for a second and catch her breath, exhausted. But she knew it wasn't over, she had to keep going. That dark fog was still there, lurking on the edges, and she had to push it all away. But now she knew what to look for, she knew how to push out, and she was going to, even if she had to shatter her own mind to do it. She focused on how that fog felt, dark, cold, hungry. She reached for that feeling, and there it was, right on the edges of Laudna's mind.
As soon as Imogen tapped into it, her vision was clouded by darkness, and she heard a low laugh reverberating through it.
"Here you are, dear. And what a beautiful job you did! I suppose I should thank you for it. Good girl, Imogen ." Delilah's voice sounded too pleased and comfortable to be a good sign, and her choice of words made Imogen feel sick.
"I don't even know what you're talkin' 'bout, bitch." Imogen answered, mostly to buy herself the time to rest and gather back her strength to finish what she came to do. Delilah, like every evil mastermind, seemed content with the opportunity to monologue.
"What you did just now, darling! You gave me my very favorite puppet!" Her tone was falsely bright, but then she dropped the pretense and scoffed. "Or at least the one who's lasting the most."
Imogen was trying to not pay too much attention to her megalomaniac discourse, but Delilah's words gave her pause. What was that woman talking about?
"You're crazy. I didn't give you anythin'."
"You think your dear Laudna would have survived that night if you hadn't pulled her mind back? You made her special, Imogen."
"What? That was thirty years ago! That doesn't even make sense, I didn't do anything!"
Delilah laughed again. "Didn't you?"
Didn't she? Imogen thought about all the effort she just made, she was still tired from it, but what exactly did she just do? It didn't make sense that she just affected something that happened way before she was born, time didn't work that way. Or did it? She recalled Fearne saying that time is a weird soup, but what Delilah was suggesting was too much, too weird... right?
Yet, somehow, part of her believed it. She's always felt there was something deeper in her connection with Laudna, like an invisible string pulling them together, and maybe there really was, maybe that was it. Imogen called for her, so desperately that Laudna came to her, crossing death and continents and decades just to find her. Could that actually be real, and not just a silly romantic notion?
There was no way of knowing, after all. And why did she even listen to Delilah? That evil bitch was probably just trying to confuse her, maybe to manipulate her, just like she used to do to Laudna. But she wouldn't do it again, never again, Imogen wouldn't let her. She gathered enough power, felt it boiling in her chest, getting ready to release.
"Enough. I'm getting you out of here, for good." "Are you? I'm curious, how will you deal with the consequence?"
Imogen stopped. Don't listen to her, she told herself. But a fear that has been nagging in the back of her mind took hold on her heart.
"What consequence?" She asked, carefully.
"Don't play dumb, darling, it doesn't suit you. I know you understand at least the basics of what keeps your girl standing."
Imogen clenched her fists, still struggling to accept what she had learned studying necromancy: without the necromancer's influence, their creations don't last. But things weren't that set in stone, they couldn't be. Laudna isn't a simple undead, she has her own soul, her own conscience. Delilah's influence isn't so strong over her, there must be a way to remove it without harming - without killing - Laudna. There must be! Or else, what hope could they have?
"You're bluffing. She's different, this is all unique, and you don't know how it works any more than I do." Imogen defied, and she felt her edges crackling with energy, ready to release.
"Are you willing to risk it?" Delilah's voice was too smug, too confident, and it was infuriating. She didn't believe Imogen would have the guts to push her out, she was counting on the doubts she was planting in her head. But Imogen would rip that smugness from her. She wouldn't be manipulated by that wench.
She released the energy she'd gathered, pushing out just like she did before. And again, she felt the dark fog that was Delilah starting to draw away, even from the edges they were restricted to. It was slow and hard, so heavy to push, but Imogen was confident she could do it, even if it took a toll on her.
"Oh. I thought you loved her." She heard Delilah's voice, getting fainter as Imogen slowly pushed her out.
She tried not to let those words get to her, and called for Laudna instead. Laudna's music should replace the fog, like it did before. But something felt off. The song was there, but it wasn't getting close, it wasn't taking up that space as the fog grew fainter. Was the music getting fainter, too? Was Laudna's soul slipping away, as she took Delilah out?
Imogen felt the cold hands of fear and doubt close around her heart. She held back for a split second, and felt the insurmountable weight in her mind. If she kept pushing, Delilah would be sent out, but she had no idea if Laudna's soul would stay in. There was no time to ponder, no way to find out, no research to be made. In that split second, with her mind strained to almost its breaking point for the effort, Imogen had to decide the fate of the love of her life.
A loud and high scream pierced her ears.
It took a second for Imogen to realize it was coming from her own throat.
She found herself back in the room, and she shortly regained conscience over her body. It was shaking, her head was hurting like it never had before, and as the scream subsided it turned into tears and sobs. Imogen buried her face in her hands and noticed her nose had been bleeding, the crimson liquid mixing with tears. Distantly, she heard FCG's voice. It sounded so far it was like they were talking under water, and she couldn't distinguish their words, even though the automaton was just by her side.
She kinda felt metallic fingers touch her arm, and a faint tingling sensation kinda ran through her muscles, but none of it felt real. Was it really her arm being touched? Was it her body that this magic was running through? Was that her own blood, her own tears? What even were any of those things? Imogen was distantly aware of her surroundings but it felt like it was happening to someone else, not her. Like everything around was in a second plane, like she was separated from her own body and mind, while her very essence was being crushed and burned and torn apart.
It felt like the red storm had finally caught her. Yes, she stood in the storm before, in her dreams, she's been facing it for a while now, but it never… it never really caught her, until now. She felt it, the thing she had feared so deeply, the red storm taking her, not around her but inside her. Raging and crackling, the wind whipping everything away, the water (blood?) slamming heavily everywhere, overwhelming, the lightning and thunder making the world flicker and shake and rumble. It was all inside her, all the turmoil of a full force storm, all the unbridled and uncontrollable strength, sweeping her soul and her mind and all she ever was and ever would be.
And then something cut through the storm. A voice. A note.
"Imogen?" A G, followed by a worried E minor.
And the storm subsided.
Imogen, that's who she was. And her Laudna was calling for her.
She called her name and her voice pulled Imogen back like she was pulling a string. Maybe she was. In just the blink of an eye, the world came back to focus and Imogen was back to herself. She was at once aware of her body and her mind and her surroundings, from FCG nervously rolling around and wondering what was wrong, to the concern on Laudna's eyes.
Laudna's eyes.
Open, alive, looking at her.
She was real. Everything was real. And Imogen was panting and sobbing and shaking and falling.
But Laudna caught her.
Laudna's hands, touching her back in a soft and familiar caress that immediately grounded her.
Laudna's voice, calm and low, telling her sweet nothings, like everything would be alright.
Laudna's thoughts, just in the edge of Imogen's conscience, soothing melody played in beautiful strings of harpsichord and violins.
Laudna's chest, pressed against Imogen's face – she faintly remembers hugging, gripping her shirt and arms like a lifeboat, burying her face in her comfortably cool collarbone – she felt her chest expand shortly with a shallow breath, then quiet. A second after, a slow heartbeat.
She was there, she was real, she was alive, in her own beautiful miraculous way. And that was all Imogen needed to ground herself. It was all she needed to put the storm away and overcome it. But being in control of her own body again wasn't enough to calm down her panting and crying.
"I'm s-s-sorry… I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry…" she mumbled in between sobs, her face buried in Laudna's chest. It was crashing down on her, the pure mental exhaustion of all the power she's used, all that happened inside Laudna's mind, all the possible consequences of what she did, the horrifying implications falling like a weight over her shoulder.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" for pulling you, for calling you so desperately that you… that you had to suffer through so much loneliness and hurt, for all those years, just so you could find me. I'm sorry that I'm not really sorry that I did it, I'm sorry I'm so selfish I'd do it again, because I need you so badly. I'm sorry I couldn't take your murderer or of your head, I'm sorry I was such a coward and so selfish cuz I couldn't risk to lose you–
"Imogen…" Laudna's voice was barely audible, but she could feel the soft rumble in her chest, and then another slow heartbeat.
Imogen took in a shaky breath, realizing that her usual walls were so weak those thoughts had been projected out of her mind. She tried to hide her face further into the crook of Laudna's neck, embarrassed that her inner ramblings were heard. But then she felt cold fingers in her face, ever so gently guiding her to look up and face her. Imogen almost crumbled when she gazed into those beautiful dark eyes, and there was not a hint of resentment or judgement, not even a drop of disappointment, only love and acceptance, even though Imogen didn't feel worthy of it at all.
"I'm sorry, Laudna." She repeated again, her voice nothing but a ragged whisper. Would she ever say it enough?
"Imogen, tell me what happened." Her voice was as soothing as the harmony in her head, and Imogen took a big breath, calming down just a little before she started to explain.
"I– I'm not sure, it's weird, but– I think… I think I almost pulled her out. But I– she said you'd die, Laudna! I don't know if it was true, it probably wasn't! She could've been bluffin' she could've been, but I was so scared! I couldn't risk losin' you, I couldn't just risk–" her voice was getting more frantic as she went on, words blurring with sobs as she started crying again.
"Shhh shhh, it's alright, it's alright." Laudna's hands cupped her face, thumbs wiping her tears, and Imogen gulped down the rest of her apologies. "I'm glad you didn't risk it. I wouldn't wanna die for good and lose you!" the warlock leaned down to press their foreheads together, and Imogen's lips trembled, words escaping her.
The walls of her mind were certainly in shambles by now, and the song of Laudna's thoughts were all she could hear. Sometimes, Laudna's thoughts didn't organize themselves in words, projecting only feelings and images, accompanied with melody. Now was one of those times, and Imogen felt it, all the love and admiration and concern, all directed to her. And, now that she knew what to look for, she could also sense a faint dark fog on the edges, silent, just lurking.
And, with her crumbled walls, Imogen was certainly also projecting her own thoughts and feelings. Unlike her companion, her thoughts were an unfiltered stream of words, mixed with flashes of memories and the feelings that accompanied it.
I failed, she's still there, you still have to endure her in your head, and it's not fair, I don't want you to suffer anymore, I swore to myself I would do anything to keep you from harm but I couldn't and is this all my fault? I don't even know what exactly I did or why I'm so tired if I couldn't even do what I should've, I should've protected you and I –
Imogen! She heard in her head, the soft whispers harmonizing in the background.
"Listen to me." That was out loud, not even hushed like they were talking before, but actually loud and clear, and the words almost echoed in the empty room (when did FCG leave?), making Imogen pay attention. "It's not your fault. And you didn't fail. This was an experiment, and it was a success! Now we know how you pull her out, don't we?"
How can you be so optimistic?
"Remember what I said? As long as we have each other, nothing can stop us. We'll keep researching, keep trying. You're amazing, I'm sure you can pull off anything."
Accompanying her words, Imogen was flooded by the other woman's hope and devotion, and it filled her heart so fully it was impossible not to smile, even if just faintly.
As much as she felt undeserving of Laudna's deep and unconditional love, she couldn't help but hold onto it. She clutched it desperately, making it her lifeline, her beacon, her everything. It felt like home, Laudna was her home, and she would never let her go. She would do anything for her, she would go to the moon if she had to, she would…
"I promise, Laudna. We're gonna find a way. I'm gonna find a way. Even if I have to break the world for it."