Chapter Text
“The Regalia is in some serious…” Ignis rubbed the bridge of his nose while stopped at an intersection, “... disrepair after your last time at the wheel, Noct.”
“Hey, that rock was gonna hit the windshield no matter who was driving,” Noct crossed his arms, bumping his elbow into you accidentally from his spot next to you.
“We’ll just have to make a trip to Hammerhead,” Ignis stated, turning the wheel and accelerating.
Hammerhead.
Nausea.
The mere mention of that place, the image of it in your head, both inextricably tied to the pit in your stomach that gaped whenever that mechanic wrapped her arms around-
“Hey, never hurts to make a stop there,” Prompto stretched his lean arms upward, practically swooning. You could’ve nearly vomited.
“Easy, loverboy,” Gladio patted Prompto’s shoulder, “I’m sure she’s still tied over from the last time we were there. Ya know, two days ago,” he chuckled.
“She may have enough of me, but I can’t get enough of her,” Prompto shook his head, turning his head backward to chuckle with his row of friends in the backseat.
‘Please don’t look at me when you’re talking about her.’
You averted your eyes, meaning to close them, but instead looking right at Noct. The prince turned his eyes to you, seemingly unamused by his best friend’s silliness, and his expression was… soft. After all, that night a few weeks prior, it had been Noct who had discovered you behind the garage sobbing, hand clutched over your mouth, heart and stomach pulping together inside your hunched form, unable to banish the image of Prompto’s lips brushing nervously and delicately against Cindy’s around the back of the caravan. You had hoped your subtle flirting had swayed him, showed him that you were right there and willing - no - dying to love him. Foolishly, you really thought you had a chance with him after seeing the way he looked at her, the way he lit up every time the word ‘Hammerhead’ was spoken. A direct shot from the Calamity would have been merciful compared to the pain of that moment and nearly every one since, and Noct knew this, nudging you lightly with his leg that was practically already pressed against yours in these close quarters.
You were already pretty close to Hammerhead, so it didn’t take long at all to pull into that familiar parking lot. As soon as Ignis shifted gears to park the car, Prompto flung the door open and strode over to the open garage with giddiness that made your eyes sting.
“Cindy!” Cid hollered toward the garage, “Your gentleman caller is here!”
“I’m gonna…” you muttered to Noct, “... go get a drink.”
“Okay if I join you?” he whispered.
“I’d actually…” you glanced over at Prompto which was a mistake, since Cindy was already sauntering toward him with that admittedly adorable hand on her hip and cocked head, a genuine smile on her lips, blonde hair spilling out in shining whisps under her cap, “... like to be alone for a bit.”
Noct simply nodded, handing you some gil before exiting the car, allowing you space to do the same.
“What brings ya in today, darlin’?” you heard Cindy’s apple butter voice ripple through the air as you walked away, “Or did ya come just to see little ol’ me?”
The light smacking of lips on skin rang in your ears, and you stupidly looked back for a moment to see who kissed who - as if it mattered. All you witnessed was the sight of Cindy tugging on Prompto’s arm, smiling and whispering something in his ear, making him smile and blush. You imagined for a moment that you were her, that you were capable of captivating his attention and affection the way she did.
“Hey Takka,” you sauntered to the counter, “Could I get a beer?”
“Which one?”
“Whichever’s stronger.”
Gil on the counter and bottle cap popped, you picked a booth in the corner; well, as corner as you could get in a circular room. The brew was strong , but it’s what you asked for. You sipped at it, the voice in the back of your mind telling you to chug it every time you stupidly glanced out the window, peeking over at the garage like a disaster you just can’t help but witness. You were aware that you were wallowing pathetically, but the truth was that you didn’t know how to cope with the pain. You knew this wasn’t the answer, that you couldn’t simply drink away your hurt (and your liver), but if you had to be here at Hammerhead, for now, you were gonna try to numb yourself.
‘Of course he likes her. She’s skilled, beautiful, and kind. She’s a wonderful person. The thought of her makes me wanna cry, but it’s not her fault. Not gonna drag her down just cause she has him and I don’t. But still, if I were a mechanic with a magic touch… if I had a charming little accent… if I had those perky boobs… if I had half the things she has, maybe he’d want me just as much…’
“I know you said you wanted to be alone, but, well, I don’t really have anything to do,” Noct’s voice floated to your ears like a rolling cloud. He sat, but you didn’t look at him, “Uh, you don’t drink.”
“I do today.”
“Y/N,” he sighed, “I’m not trying to be insensitive, but what do you really think this is gonna do?”
“No offense, but why are you even talking to me about this?” you smacked your hand on the table a little harder than you intended, “He’s your best friend, and he got the girl of his dreams. Aren’t you happy for him? Why even humor me?”
Noct nonchalantly glanced side-to-side, “Okay, don’t tell anyone this, but honestly, I like Cindy and all, but I really don’t think they should have gotten together.”
“Huh?”
“He just… well… he doesn’t actually know her very well, ya know? He should be with someone he’s more comfortable with and who he knows is gonna actually be around for him wherever he goes and not someone who’s married to her work. Someone like…” he trailed off, “Well…”
His words were kind and granted you some solace, but they were also like throwing a life preserver to someone who had already drowned.
Another swig of the bitter drink went down like nails, “Well, yeah, if only he could see that, too.”
You both sat there in silence for a minute. Noct scrolled on his phone while you tried your best to finish off the bottle to the sound of forks and knives rattling on plates at other booths.
“Prom-… I mean the guys wanna stay at the caravan tonight,” Noct spoke low to you across the booth. His little correction honestly would have stung less if it were omitted, his consciousness of your feelings both a blessing and a burden.
“Yeah,” you downed the last of your drink with a grimace, “In fact, why don’t we just let Prompto and Cindy have it to themselves? I’m sure he’d love that.”
The choice to open your mouth and speak those words was foolish, as the words spilling from your tongue forced the reality of that thought into your mind; the imagery of giggling, rustling sheets, soft skin, freckles, fingers tangled in two different heads of blond hair tormented you. You pressed your hand to your mouth, turning your face away from Noct and any other patrons as salty sorrow slipped from your eyes like the booze down your throat.
“I-… s-sorry…” you muffled a self-pitiful apology to the prince, the pressure of despair pushing outward in your chest, wanting to be released, but this was not the time nor the place. Especially as-
“Y/N!” a cheerful voice entered your earshot, and panic washed over you, simultaneously stunting your tears and making you want to sob more. You wiped your face and sniffled as the voice approached like a killer tidying a crime scene as the police knocked on his door, “Mind if I sit?”
You dared to turn your face, meeting Prompto’s adorable visage, sinking the knife deeper into your heart as his smile curled, his eyes starry and wide. Idiot , so happy to see you, ignorant to the anguish he was causing you. And how could you really be angry with him, after all? He was never yours, never promised you his love. He simply had feelings for another, something he couldn’t help. You knew better than anyone else that you don’t choose who you fall for, and you can’t just make it stop or turn to someone else. But that didn’t change the fact that you couldn’t stand to look at his stupid, beautiful, painful, angelic face.
“Yeah, sit with Noct,” your gaze sunk to the floor as you scooted out of the booth, “I’m sure you two need some best friend time.”
“Got somewhere to be?” Prompto chuckled, “Why don’t you stay?”
“Can’t,” is all you uttered before brushing past him and out the front door as fast as was casual enough . Your shoes thrummed on the pavement. You didn’t know where you were going, but you couldn’t be here. Not with Noct’s watchful eye, Gladio and Ignis’s complete obliviousness, Cindy’s presence, and Prompto’s… well, everything.