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“Airi-chan?” she said, eyebrows knitted and hands twisting each other around. “Can I talk to you?” Practice had let up for the day, and Haruka and Minori had already left. Shizuku was standing, fidgeting as she waited for Airi’s response.
Shizuku had always struggled to get people to understand her. No matter what she said or did, she was always put into a box by the people around her, and it was never who she really was. To the girls in Cheerful*Days she was someone who was taking away their rightfully earned places. To her fans she was the perfect idol, who never made mistakes or struggled. Shii-chan thought she was a nuisance who bothered her at school and at home. Even Airi had once accused her of gliding along on her looks alone. It made her feel sick with dread.
Airi wasn’t saying that now, though. Airi would never say that now. Not the Airi who stormed over to her agency to give them hell for what they said to her. Not the Airi who tearfully apologized to her, begged her for forgiveness. This Airi was smiling and nodding as she walked over to Shizuku, but her smile turned as she noticed Shizuku’s expression.
“Are you okay Shizuku? What’s the matter?” Airi capped her water bottle and put it away, looking up at her with a worried look on her face. Airi was quick to tease, but knew when to listen. Airi was… Airi was always there for her now.
“Oh, ah, I’m alright Airi-chan, it’s just…” Shizuku struggled to find the words. Always she struggled to find the words and prayed they wouldn’t be taken the wrong way. “I think. I think there’s something wrong with me,” Shizuku said, blinking hard and swallowing, trying not to cry. Where had the tears come from? Airi grabbed her shoulder.
“What!? Shizuku, what do you mean? Are you feeling alright?” Airi’s face was alight with worry now, her eyes flicking up and down, scanning Shizuku for an illness or injury the eye couldn’t see.
“It’s- I can’t ever speak to people. I can’t, s-say anything without people looking at me like I’m insane. People speak and I don’t get what they mean, a-and then they get mad at me like I did something wrong. Why does everyone understand except me, Airi-chan? Why am I-“ Shizuku cut herself off to gasp around her sobs, hands balled into fists at her sides. “I don’t know! I don’t know how to act or behave or, or be a person! People think I’m making fun of them, or being rude, or they think I’m a nuisance and that my personality doesn’t fit my appearance. I don’t know what to d-do Airi-chan. It’s all so hard. It’s too hard!”
Shizuku took in shaky breaths around her sobs, head hanging forward as tears dripped down her face.
“Shizuku…” Airi said weakly, pulling the taller girl into a tight hug. “That’s not… your fault, Shizuku. You’re so kind, and sweet. It’s… there’s nothing wrong with you Shizuku. I… We all love you so much…” Airi trailed off, before hugging Shizuku tighter.
Shizuku returned the hug, leaning down to put her face in Airi’s shoulder as she cried, gripping the back of Airi’s shirt with both hands.
“I’m sorry Airi-chan,” she said weakly between her sobs. “I’m sorry you h-have to comfort me.” To this, Airi shook her head, hugging Shizuku as tight as she could.
“You don’t have to apologize… you have nothing to apologize for, Shizuku, okay?” Shizuku sniffed, beginning to calm down. “I wish I could… do something more. I wish I could help you more. But as is, you can talk to me like this anytime you need to, okay? I- I love you, Shizuku. Alright?” Shizuku nodded, and stepped out of the hug, rubbing her eyes.
“Airi-chan… thank you,” Shizuku smiled slightly, and wrapped her arms around herself. Her ponytail was a mess, and her eyes were red from crying. She sat down, weakly reaching into her bag and pouring some miso soup from her thermos, hands shaking as she raised it to her lips. Airi looked on, still looking concerned, as if she was thinking about something.
“Shizuku, do you want to go to a cafe? There’s a nice one not too far a walk from the school,” Airi said, and cautioned a smile. “We’re still in our sweats so we can just say it’s a continuation of today’s training.”
Shizuku blinked and smiled. She put her thermos away and took Airi’s hand. Airi jumped a bit, but then she smiled and gripped her hand back.