Work Text:
Much to everyone's surprise, the play worked. There was much cheering, and celebrating, suddenly Nate was in his arms and his legs around his middle. In a moment, the embrace was over. Ted puts Nate down in a brief but awkward exchange of two men letting the moment get the better of them and the celebration spilled out and onto everyone around them. It was brief, but it was one that Nate remembers and keeps coming back to in the early morning and late at night. Nobody has looked at Nate like Ted does. Like Nate matters, like he is something.
The moment was captured by a Sun reporter and Nate found himself sitting in the coach's office staring at an email proof with a headline “Gay for the Play?--care to comment?” His throat grew dry. If it was anyone else, he knew the paper wouldn’t have bothered. Danny jumped on everyone in celebration, it was a thing in football.
He wasn’t making a pass at Ted. He want brave enough for that. He wanted to, but no. Yet, maybe Ted was with him? Maybe it was enough to want him to be.
Nate chewed the inside of his lip as he watched the coaches as they went about their coaching moments and Ted looked at him. Nate felt his stomach go gooey. He thought about Ted and how he had invited Nate to the Gala and how he had bought him that suit. Looks like James Bond he had said. Nate felt desire. Then he felt embarrassed. He wasn’t suppose to have desire. While his mind was spiraling about how much he really did want to touch Ted and how much that was very much a bad idea since Ted was recently divorced and very straight and in no way interested in a stupid kitman, fake coach like Nate. He must have made a noise as Ted’s head snapped up mid conversation with Collins’ like a dog catching wind of a bunny.
Ted’s eyes widened with concern with what he saw in Nate's expression. His brow knitted together. His body stilled. Studying. Nate felt his dick harden and he squirmed with the discomfort and burning desires that come with being seen.
Ted tapped Collins on the shoulder finishing his explanation of the loopy loopy play and then made a beeline for the coaches office his eyes not leaving Nate’s. Coach Beard caught the vibe and paused mid sentence in his explanation of a wrap around defense to Roy and he followed Ted into the office. Shutting the door behind him.
All three coaches looked at each other, the musty sweaty air of the closed office being familiar and stifling all in the same moment. Oddly, it was Beard who spoke first. “Dating trouble or death threat?” That snapped Nate from his deer in the headlights staring contest with Ted. His hands were clammy and his tongue was thick when he stammered, “what, no, I don’t date. Er, I mean I don’t have a boyfriend--ah girlfriend, either, neither. Any.” He was babbaling and Ted was getting closer. Nate’s skin was on fire. His hands were clammy and his heart was hammering in his head giving him a slight headache.
“Death threat it is.” Beard concluded nodding solemnly at Ted and moving to the other side of Nate preparing to lend support. Ted placed a large hand on Nate’s shoulder and said, “it happens to all of us. But don't you worry, little Tim Curry. All we have to do is contact security and legal and they put a restraining order on the fella or ladies--I have had them from both, you never know who is the lover and who are the haters."
Beard nodded in agreement as Ted continued, "think of it as part of the rules of coaching. You know you are making a difference when people are feeling like you are worth taking down a peg.”
Ted trailed off when he noticed Nate has stilled and refuses to meet his eye anymore. He glanced down at Nate’s computer to try to get more data and the picture was still pulled up with the headline.
“Oh.” Ted said as he gave Nate’s shoulder a light squeeze before his hand dropped and he turned to Coach Beard who was blocked from seeing the screen by Nate’s body, “Looks like we have a Fishy Lover situation on our hands, Wanda.”
Nate stirred. Ted's words breaking through his modified fog. He didn’t know if Ted was calling him Wanda or Beard or what it had to do with the picture on his desktop. Ted was always so cryptic. While it wasn’t always easy to decipher what the American was saying, it was always easy to read the emotions with which he was saying them and the tone had shifted to one of amusement and humor rather than concern and dread. Nate felt a little cold. Ted was amused. Amused at him. It felt. Lonely. Until he looked up and saw the warmth of Ted's expression.
Like a switch had flipped, Ted was smiling again, he practically glowed his reassurance down at Nate, until Nate could do nothing else except feel him glow and be caught up in his positivity. His toes tingled with the possibility of Ted being ok with what the photo was.
"But, it is very incriminating.” Nate muble-whispered, not sure why Ted was so calm about being called a gay by the most tabloid of sporting journals.
“Oh no, Sussie Poe. That is a real-nice picture. Capturing a moment of a team when they are happy. Heck, I wouldn’t mind having a copy of it for my desk.” Nate opened his mouth like a fish and much like a fish no sound came out. Ted was continuing, “these kinds of things happen.” he looked long at Nate assessing him.
Nate’s mind whilted. These things may happen to Ted, but they didn’t happen to Nate. His heart tightened. Nate didn’t fall in love with a man only to have the moment he realized it captured on film by the press. Nate’s life was much more boring. Oh God-what would his parents think if he told them he was in love with a man. His skin was hot. His ears shut down. He stared at his trainers.
There was a scuff on one the left one. He wanted to kiss Ted so much, it kind of hurt. He kind of liked the pain of it. It felt right. Could he kiss Ted? Tell him it wasn't a team moment. It was his moment. He glaced up at the man who had changed his life just by seeing him. Coach Beard was there. He couldn’t. Not in front of others. He could stand the shame of it. Of being rejected infront of people. Because Ted would reject him. He was just a silly silly boy. The hate for himself welled up in his throat.
Even still, Nate wondered if the boot room still had that bottle of stuff that removed grass stains. Wondered what Ted's lips would feel like. Wondered if could shut him up for just a moment. Have him go quiet because of him. Nate wanted to kiss Ted. To silence his deep drawl. Nate wanted control. He wanted to tie him up and do…Nate realized there was a break in Ted positive babble for long enough that Ted or Beard must have directed a question toward him that he hadn’t heard.
“What?” Nate whispered not trusting himself with full sentences, rearranging his hands in his pockets in case the results of his last train of thoughts made his pants tent.
Ted looked at him again and Nate felt his cheeks go red with embarrassment as he firmly clamped a lid on where his mind was racing as he felt his erection getting harder still with the daydream. Ted brushed one hand over his mustache and considered Nate. Abruptly he turned and pressed a chair closer to Nate so he could sit down and then gently pressed down on Nate's shoulder. Nate sunk into the chair, the skin on his shoulder on fire where Ted had touched him.
Ted leaned in, “Do you mind if I,” Ted leaned. Coming closer, Nate braced. Of course it would Ted who kissed him first. He was such a coward. When Ted body continues past him to the keyboard, Nate felt his cheeks go hot again.
“Yep there it is,” Ted said the same as if he was saying that he needed to add milk to the grocery list. He had pulled up the reporter’s name from the picture and clicking a few more times to send the file to Keeley and the legal department and then leaned back on his heels and pulled out his phone and began punching in numbers.
Nate watched Ted’s fingers move and Ted’s shoulder tense and then relaxed as he connected with a human on the other end. The change in his body was subtle, but Nate noticed subtle. He noticed everything about Ted.
“Hiya Trent Crimm, declarer of Independence." Ted paused as Trent retorted back probably that he wasn't going to declare independence like a damn Yankee which made Ted chuck and emit a low humm. His smile grew soft, more intimate.
"Well right, governmental overthrowing aside, do you know,” Ted checked the name again, “Phillip Vance at the Sun?...mmm yep that is the one….well I don't know about his tossing skills, I am more of a darts than a corn hole man myself. But, he has sent a picture to one my coaching staff which may cause a stir if taken out of context."
Ted listened to Trent. His non phone hand going into his pocket and his chin tipping down just slightly. Shy. Nate observed. Ted wasn't silent for long, "…Oh no funny enough. It is me and him hugging and they have created a bit of sensational speculation with the tagline…what oh you will gett a kick out of this one."
Ted scrunched his nose a little considering, "Gay for the Play?" Ted paused to listen to Trent, his eyes darted to Beard who was silently assessing things as aways and then back to Nate who looked at him with an ulcer of worry.
Ted chucked listening to Trent's assessment of the other reporter. It made Ted cheeks warm. "Mmmm huumm, yep exacto mundo, I couldn't agree with you more…Before Mr. Vance and the Sun put themselves in an accidental sueing situations,” Ted chucked, the smile on his face growing softer as he listened to what Trent was saying, “ mmm-humm… if you say so, I don't think that is the best time to reveal that particular detail do you? If it isn't too much trouble, I need his number and could you get me his editor’s phone number?...yep there is a box of biscuits in it for you.”
Ted listened to what Trent said and he looked at Nate and then at the ground he his cheeks grew a little pink as he turned his back on Beard and Nate to finish the last of the conversation with the phone firmly pressed to his ear voice quieting, “Yep, it seems the Sun thinks we are in a romantic relationship… No, no. Keep those horses in the barn. Me and Nate the Great… Nope, for sure not..” he chuckled more, softer now as his tone dropped just a little, “Trent you should know by now there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. Nope…I don't think that is particularly necessary..Ha. well you can tonight, but for now, to quote the great Higgins mashal-- seize to you later! Mmm-humm, you too. Thanks.”
Ted disconnected. Puting his phone into his other pocket and squaring has shoulders, Ted did an abrupt about face to look at Nate and Beard.
Beard quirked an eyebrow which seemed to say he knew exactly what Trent said on the other side of the line and Ted with a quick glance at his friend gave him a small nod of confirmation and then focusing his attention on Nate, he cranked up his smile. Everything was going to be ok.
“Ok, so that is solved. Legal has it and I will call the editor and let them know that there is a non-story there. Sorry Nate, but my heart belongs to another brother." Ted patted Nate's shoulder, "I will reassure them it was just a happy moment of celebration, does that rest your weary soul?” Nate let out the breath he was holding. He didn’t know what it was, but Ted seemed to be a little lighter after hanging up the phone. He looked a little happier. Nate caught it. He felt it. Ted had turned down his manic vibrations of happiness just a notch after a few moments chat with Trent Crimm from the Independent. Nate didn’t know what that meant. Ted must have been more worried about the news than Nate was if he called Trent. He didn't like that Ted was worried. But the fact that Ted was worried, made Nate's toe tingle with a little hope. Well, maybe he wasn’t the only one hiding his feelings.
Turning to look at the computer screen one more time, Ted said, “That is a great picture, though. You did good. You should be proud and go celebrate with the boys. You will always be Nate the Great to me.” Ted gave Nate one more shoulder pat and a light squeeze and then turned to leave, he pulled his phone out again and holding it lightly in his hand, like he was waiting for a text. Ted opened the door to the offices and walked out into the locker room.
Coach Beard looked at Nate and then at where Ted had gone. Nate was still looking at the floor, his sweaty palms having migrated to where he was sitting on them. The silence in the room grew in the way that only Coach Beard and Roy Kent could really do. The silence filled the space and depleted the Oxygen in the room until someone else had to talk. Nate didn’t look up. He stared at the tile on the floor and wondered if the scuff mark on there was from one of the coach’s trainers or from someone’s boots. He wondered if he could be angry at the new Kitman Will. It was a lot easier to be angry than it was to be helpless and in love and too much of a fool and a coward to do anything about it. Yes, anger in that moment felt better than anything. So with firey eyes about the scuff on the floor, Nate willed himself to look up at Coach Beard and meet his gaze.
Beard watched the transformation with the squint of a strategist, noting the way Nate’s shoulder shifted and his feet planted just a bit more firmly. Jaw clenched.
Coach Beard let the silence hang just a moment longer before adding some wisdom to a room which wasn’t listening, “Nate. Ted loves everyone. But he,” Beard paused, it wasn't his story to tell, but seeing the man infront of him hurt, he softened his tone."Ted…" registering the hope and hurt in Nate's expression for what it was, “isn’t available," Beard paused considering Nate for a beat before adding, "romantically."
Nate felt his cheeks burn as Beard's words sunk in. Knowing Beard saw it all and didn't judge was somehow worse. Nate was a silly boy with a crush. Ted who was unavailable. Simple as that. Heartbreaking as that. Nate looked at the floor.
Words dispensed, Beard turns to leave the coaching room. Beard pauses at the door jam and taps it lightly. “Nate," Nate willed his head to looked up and make eye contact with the older man. The weight of it felt heavy to Nate. Once he had Nate's attention, Beard continued, "a solo traveler never feels alone, except when he is want for company.”
Nate let’s his head fall backwards, tears welled in the corners of his eyes. If Ted is traveling solo. Nate could be with him. He can be his friend. His colleague. His partner. He may not be available now, but he just got divorced and after taking some time, maybe he would be. Nate resolves pinching his eyes shut and then open staring at the picture on the computer screen one more time.
There is only one thing to do, woo Ted Lasso.