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When Matt had originally told his friends about his run in with the charismatic “girl next door,” it was clear that Eli had been the most enthralled by the prospects of this new chapter of his friend’s life. It wasn’t like Klitz didn’t care—he wouldn’t be much of a best friend if he didn’t, after all—there were just more important things to worry about in his eyes. He supported his friend in his endeavors, of course, but the fascination with finding a relationship—or as Eli so eloquently put it, “making it to pound town”—eluded him. He was happy enough to spend his time with Eli (and by now the rare occasion Matt), and focus on making his college life as easy as possible. That didn’t stop Eli from complaining about it, though.
“Dude. I can’t believe Matt is ditching us for some chick, and he won’t even lay moves on her.” It had been about 20 minutes since the last time Eli had interrupted both his own GTA playing and Klitz’s calculus studying. A new record that Klitz was sure to scribble into the ever growing list in the front of his notebook.
“Do you ever think that maybe… he’s just normal, and doesn’t think about that stuff like you do?”
Eli scoffed at him, throwing a used sock–gross–in his direction before scooting onto the couch to join him, “Have I taught you two nothing in our years together, Klitzy? You want game, you have to want it. He keeps going with this pansy shit and she’ll never fuck him!”
Klitz just folded his legs up–enough to hide his shit-eating grin with his textbook–before continuing, “Maybe he just doesn’t want to fuck her.”
“Timothy. Don’t play with me like that.”
“What? Maybe he’s waiting ‘till they’re married.”
Eli pulled his books away from his lap, “I’m being serious here, dude. There’s no way I’m letting one of my best friends date a pornstar without getting the details. What if people think he’s gay or something?”
There was a pause before he tacked on, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just, Matt’s not gay. They’re gonna think he’s gay.”
Klitz crossed his arms, before admitting defeat and pulling himself into the conversation, “So? Dude, no one cares about the three of us. Why should we care if they think Matt’s gay?”
“Because, dude, if Matt’s gay, we’re gay! And I’m not gay!”
“Okay, in the scenario that people think Matt’s gay for not having sex, and that we’re gay by deduction… why does it matter? If you know you’re not gay why do you care if other people think you’re gay?”
Eli just flailed his hands around a bit, as if Klitz was proving some big point of his. He rested his head into his hands before pulling himself back up.
“Okay Klitzy, here’s what it is; we don’t have sex this year, we’re one of two things. We’re fucking losers, or we’re fags.”
“So… you’re living vicariously through Matt’s sex life ‘cause you’re definitely not gay, and you don’t want to be a loser?”
“Yes!”
“Why don’t you just find a girl to fuck so I can stop hearing about how much you want our friend to have sex?”
“Who do you think I am? Fucking Cassanova? Not even the band girls would touch me!”
Klitz finally just threw his head back, exasperated. It’s not like this conversation hadn’t happened before, Klitz had been around the track with the ‘I’m not gay’ thing for coming up on five years. Eli had always reasoned that he had ‘missed his chance’ to practice his ‘moves’, since he hadn’t gotten laid sophomore year or earlier. Something about not seeming like a good kisser, somehow– which had really dumbfounded Klitz, who didn’t seem to understand the importance of being suave and confident when it came to swapping spit.
“Why don’t you just practice with something, dude? Kiss your pillow instead of complaining to me!”
“No dude! That wouldn’t be like a real kiss at all! We’ve been over this, I need a willing human partner to kiss or I’ll die a virgin!”
“Jesus dude, if you’re that desperate you can just kiss me or something.”
Now, it was certainly meant as a joke. Nothing but a platonic jest between the straightest of best friends. But the silence that had lapsed after his comment made Klitz look up at Eli– who was just squinting at him.
And maybe, if he were a weaker man, Klitz might have played it off with a ‘no homo’ and they could have gone back to their completely normal, totally heterosexual night. Except, there was something in Klitz that made him want to wait a little longer. To see how Eli would react if he had said that without joking. As emotionally stunted as any 18 year old boy was, Klitz did understand, at the very least, that the way he felt about his friend was not what he felt with his other friends. Maybe he could have just played it off as super-best-friend-forever feelings, but super-best-friends-forever didn’t get jealous of the porn stars that their best friend favorited. They didn’t get giddy inside when their best friends were rejected by some section leader in band. It only took one soul crushing realization at three in the morning, in the same bed as said friend, to understand that, perhaps, best friends didn’t want each other the same way that Klitz wanted Eli.
There was no telling, though, if his best friend was down for playful, mildly homosexual exploration at the expense of Klitz’s own feelings. Maybe, it would be better if Klitz unfroze himself and played it off as a joke, and they continued the rest of their night completely normal–
“Could I?”
Or, maybe Klitz and his best friend were totally down for playful, mildly homosexual exploration! Maybe the angels did sing! Maybe there was someone out there looking out for him!
“I mean… I-I guess y’know, so we can both get experience. Not like, gayly though.”
And he was nailing it already.
There was no way of knowing what Eli was really thinking, honestly. Barely even to himself. Klitz and him had been best friends for so long now that it felt a little silly to even question how comfortable he was with him. They did everything together, they were practically attached by the hip– save for when Klitz’s mother insisted on watching bad prime time television with him. What’s a kiss between friends, right? It didn’t mean anything, right?
“Like… making out in a straight way?”
“I guess?” there was a pause before Klitz continued, “I feel like I made things awkward.”
“No! No, I’ll kiss you! Girls make out with their best friends all the time, right? This isn’t different. It’s totally not gay we’re just… best friends kissing so we can kiss girls better.”
…He was probably speaking more to himself than to Klitz. How is one meant to react when your boy best friend offers to kiss? Really, Klitz was making the ultimate sacrifice for him. What’s more honorable than offering your friend to practice kissing so he doesn’t look like a virgin when he’s snogging on some chick? In Eli’s eyes, it’s honestly more of a display of loyalty and selflessness than it was a gay thing. For sure.
So, what was a man to do besides crawl to the side of the couch his friend was sitting on? They sat cross-legged, no more than a couple inches apart before Eli began to lean in. Klitz followed his lead, and before long they had given each other a nice peck on the lips.
It wasn’t anything extravagant. Klitz and Eli had pecked on the lips before–mostly just for Eli’s hilarious comedic timing–and it was somewhat familiar. It did, however, make the situation a lot more real.
Eli really hadn’t kissed many people in his life, but he was unsure if a totally, strictly platonic kiss should light him up the way that it did. Somehow, in just the second that their lips were pressed together, it felt like Eli was really with Klitz for the first time. He was a lot warmer than Eli had anticipated, and his lips vaguely tasted like the stupid mint chapstick Klitz used to numb his lips to play french horn. It made him feel like a million fireworks had exploded inside of his ribcage.
If the way that Klitz had pulled back and stared at him had said anything, they were feeling the exact same thing. Klitz had been more aware of his feelings toward Eli, sure, but this was something completely new. It wasn’t an offhanded kiss he had to pretend to be disgusted by. It was intentional, it was real. Eli wanted to kiss him. That alone made him pull Eli back in, cupping his cheek softly and connecting their lips again.
This time, they stayed longer. They lingered in the feeling of being pressed together, pulling back just to do it again. Somehow, it just felt right. Hands started to roam as they reveled in each others’ touch for a while longer.
It became a lot less awkward when Eli decided to crawl into Klitz’s lap. The burst of confidence that came from tasting his friend had been enough to push him to lick along Klitz’s bottom lip. He didn’t really know what he was doing, sure, but he figured he’d ought to try something, right? After all, what much was practice if you didn’t step outside of what you knew?
Klitz had awkwardly given a little nod of permission, opening his mouth and letting Eli lick his way inside. The feeling of it made him shiver, and grasp onto Eli’s shoulders. He didn’t quite know what to do to reciprocate at first, so he just let Eli explore his mouth.
Neither of them were really sure if Eli slobbering into Klitz’s mouth really counted as much of a kiss, but it didn’t seem like they really cared. Eli licked along Klitz’s teeth, and Klitz didn’t know how to do much but caress his friend. He moved his hands up from his shoulders, letting them hang at the back of Eli’s neck. At this point, he started to move his tongue along with Eli’s, finding a rhythm of kissing that felt just right.
There was some fumbling involved– teeth clacked together, mumbled apologies before continuances of the same heated passion. There was certainly a lot more slobber and drool involved in this than in any of the makeout scenes that either had witnessed in examining Eli’s extended porn collection, but that was what they were using this for after all; practice.
The kiss in itself made a lot of noise, the smacking of their lips basically filled Eli’s room. He figured he wouldn’t really mind if that was the noise that always filled his room. But when they pulled back, panting into each others’ mouths, there was something so profound in the way that they looked at each other. Both were messes, surely, but there were on words to explain the looks on both boys faces as they stared at each other.
Kiss hungry lips swollen and red, rosy cheeks and cloudy eyes– all things so thick that Eli was sure he could find them embedded into his vision if he closed his eyes. This was something he could never forget– a feeling that he was so sure he’d never feel towards someone else, let alone his best friend. Their kisses were filled with belonging, and passion heated their bodies to the core. Maybe in that passionate gaze, they both decided that they were made for each other. Or maybe, they decided that they were two boys, two friends, who wanted each other the same way. Who understood each other like no one in the world did.
Whatever it was, whatever this was, the two of them were going to cherish it while they had it. Who knew how long they would last pretending that they were better as just friends– or for that matter straight. What mattered right now was this utterly horrendous kiss, no doubt the worst that either would have in their lives, but it’s not like they had anything to compare it to. For now, it was the best feeling in the world, and damnit if they wouldn’t keep that. Who cared about Matt or the kids at school who thought they were gay.
For now, they just needed to hold each other.