Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Dear Nicky,

Wow, that felt a bit weird to write.

Anyways- hey! Long time no see. Or write? Communicate? Whatever, you get it.

I don’t know if I’ll send this yet, but my mom- you know, a therapist and all- said it could be beneficial to write this sort of thing. I told the other guys, too. Just in case they wanted to write something too, you know? I was more insistent that Lark write something, and I don’t know if Sparrow will at all.

Taylor’s doing well! I check in with him and Cassandra every so often, just to see how they are. Honestly, Taylor’s growing up really.. comfortably, if you know what I mean. He has so much anime stuff. It’s kind of impressive, hah. He’s almost a brat, but he’s sweet about it. Reminds me of a very energetic Glenn, maybe. He looks so much like you, dyes his hair and everything. I think it was red, last time I checked? I had to take a double-take, he looked just like you did when you were his age.

Grant and his boys are doing well, too. I think his son is going to start going to proper high school soon? Grant’s still on the fence about that, but you know him. I’m sure he’ll cave to his son’s begging.

Sparrow’s kids are great. You can really see the Oak in them, which I guess could be good or bad. I think it’s nice, they remind me of the twins when they were younger, you know? Full of energy, not caring too much. It’s really refreshing. Hero, the older one, is also into anime- I don’t know if she’d get along with Taylor, though. Sparrow seems to want to have as little to do with the rest of us as possible so I don’t even know when they’d hypothetically get to meet. Maybe school? I think Grant wants Lincoln at the district school though, and Hero’s at that one magnet school nearby, so probably not I guess. Well, anyways. Normal is getting into gymnastics and such. He’s around the age that Lark got into color guard, do you remember that? He had his sword on him all the time, doing tricks and stunts and all. Wow, I miss those days.

Speaking of Lark! He is… still Lark. Stubborn as hell, still living with Sparrow and his family. He’s growing out his facial hair right now. It's a change, even if it doesn't look like much now. I guess we'll see if he keeps it or not!

Well. I’ll see.

Anyways.

I’m getting married soon! Her name is Veronica. Which, before you ask, yes it weird to call her ‘Ronnie’. Doesn't happen that often though, don't worry, hah.

There’s actually a bit of a funny story with names in my soon-to-be family- I’ll be a stepfather, once married! I’m excited, and honestly really missing Ron because of it. I could really use his advice. You know, my future stepdaughter, her given name is Theresa, so she’s usually called Terri. Now, she’s going through some teen phase and refuses to answer to that. She’s having us call her Scary, which honestly isn’t that bad. Very interesting choice, but calling her 'Scary' does make things much less confusing around the house, at least! 

I think you'd approve of her fashion and music choice. I think she said she was goth, or punk? Just looks like e-punk from our time, but apparently that's not 'cool' anymore.

She doesn’t like me much right now, but that’s okay. I know the feeling- I’m sure she’ll come around, and if not then I’ll leave. Whatever will make her and her mother happiest, honestly. 

I do wish Ron could give me some help here. I miss our dads.

But anyways! I’m not really nervous about the wedding- Veronica is really good about taking it slow, you know, so I'm feeling pretty comfortable with it. 

I do wish you could be there for it. I’m thinking of having an empty spot for the best man, because, you know. You’d be my best man.

Nicky, we really miss you. I really miss you. I know it’s our fault things are this way, and honestly I think about it every day. I wish there was a different was we could’ve done it, but I don’t think they- we- would’ve settled for anything else, short of actually getting rid of the Doodler.

I hope we’ll be able to meet again someday. You’re still my best friend. I miss you. I love you. I don’t think my mom would've wanted me to start crying because of this letter. Okay, that’s enough for tonight. 

With Love,

        Terry Jr. Stampler

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Nicky,

I feel a bit stupid writing this. I don’t know. Terry said it would help. It’s not doing much so far.

Okay. Good-bye, I guess.

-Lark

Nicky,

Apparently I was doing it wrong. I don’t know how one can write about their feelings wrong, but I guess I can? I don’t fucking know. I said I’d give it another shot though, so. Here I am, I guess.

I don’t think I have that much to tell you, honestly. I mean of course, we all miss you and shit. But I don’t regret what we did. I regret that it didn’t work, but not that we chose it. Hero and Normal deserve to grow up as easy and safe as possible. 

And y’know. Your kid, Taylor. And Grant’s kid. 

They deserve what we couldn’t have.

Unfortunately, you know who’s making that really fucking hard right now?

Sparrow. 

I’ve been sober since before you left, you know this. I’m going on 8 years right now. It got really close when we. Anyways.

Guess who’s been bringing alcohol back into the house?

Yeah. My fucking brother. 

You’d think he would’ve learned from watching me, but c’mon. We all know he’s dense as hell.

Yeah okay, I get what Terry was going on about now.

I miss you, man. You’re just about the only person I can talk with about anything, even more than Sparrow. I mean, I can’t talk shit about him with him, could I? 

I guess I could. It sounds like something I’d do.

I don’t think there’s much else to tell you right now. So. Good bye, I guess? I don’t know, I’ve never really written a letter before.

-Lark

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Dear Nick and Nicholas,

Hey, hello!

Hey guys. What’s up? How’s hell? 

Haha, not good I'm guessing. It’s still intact though, despite being fucked. We can tell that much from here. 

But hey, that just sounds like every other plane of existence right now, so! Can’t be too bad, right?

As I’m sure you’ve already figured, Terry roped me into this. He's going to wear down all of us into writing one of these, if he hasn't already. I tried lying to him about this, saying that I've already finished, but he knew I was lying somehow.

I don’t think he was paying enough attention to what I was saying- he’s convinced I feel guilty for what we did to you. Which I do! Except.

Okay, wait, don’t stop reading yet. That makes me sound like an asshole, let me explain.

I do feel bad about what we had to do to you. 

But.

I mainly feel bad about how little it worked, long-term. And how it wasn't really for anything, as it turns out.

And I feel worse about the people of Faerune and what we did to them.

We had friends there, you know?

And yeah, you were our friends too, but it was different. You already know we were just friends because of our shared trauma, and then because my brother was loved you. 

The people of Faerune- sure, we were trauma-bonded with them too. But for me at least, I actually enjoyed their company a lot more than anyone I knew from Earth. I was friends with them because it was fun for me, and because I wanted to be friends with them. Unlike you guys.

You hurt him a lot, by the way. Lark. He's really upset at himself over what you did. I kind of hate you both for that. I kind of hate you a lot for that.

Anyways. I’m a bit tipsy right now, I think. So apologies if I come off as rude! I'm just writing down my feelings.

You were still our friends, and I hope for Lark’s sake we can either become friends again or kill you. Or be killed by you. I don’t know which. I don't really care! Lark misses you a lot and often.

Well! I’m going to go to bed now, or maybe I’ll go out? No, Rebecca will be worried. Probably. I'll try to sleep. Everyone else is already asleep. Anyhting else that happens tonight, I blame Terry for making me write this.


Without love, but with no hard feelings,

Sparrow Swallows-Oak-Garcia