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"Why did you tell them that?!" Deku demanded, voice and expression tinted with a kind of fury that Katsuki had never seen on him.
He wondered what would anyone think if they saw the spectacle, with them standing at one of the isolated parts of the school ground behind the gym or simply why would the other extras in class leave Deku alone with him. Knowing this shitty nerd, no one knew where he was.
Too bad Katsuki was low on fucks to give.
"It's the truth." He pointed out bluntly
"That's not only for you to share!" The green haired boy screamed, radiating helplessness despite the anger. "I didn't do it for you but I kept my mouth shut because I don't want to be seen as a victim like before!" He pulled on his hair before glaring at Katsuki, like he was seeing him for the first time. Good.
"There's a difference this time," Katsuki pointed out blandly and continued when the nerd seemed like he would throttle the answers out of him which was odd to be on the receiving end considering who was giving it. "You've got people on your fucking side."
"That's not the point!" Deku seemed like he'd finally reached the end of his rope. "I don't know what your goal is right now but guess what, Kacchan? You weren't the only one who bullied me and pushed me down. I have a lot of people accountable for that if we're talking about transgressions so bad. You're not special." He snarled in a way that had the blonde unconsciously taking a step back, eyes wide.
"What could be worse than me telling you to kill yourself?" were the words out of his mouth before he could put a lid on it.
Deku paled but to his credit, he didn't back down.
"Did you know that the first person not to believe in my dream of becoming a hero was my own mother?" The shitty nerd suddenly mentioned out of left field, making Katsuki blinked at him in bewilderment.
"She's just worried about you." Katsuki was quick to counter because he'd met the other's mom several times and knew for a fact that if she could bubble wrap her son to protect him, she would.
The other shook his head. "After that, I decided to stop caring what others said to me." Deku smiled sadly, if a bit wistfully. "When you told me to take a swan dive off the roof, I wasn't tempted. I was angry. Not only at you, though. But at our teachers, who never did anything. At others who knew something was wrong but turned the other way. At the people around us who helped shaped you to be able to say those things."
Katsuki tried to ignore the urge to break the nerd's face. He didn't need another suspension. It was just that the nerd was making it very hard right now.
Though, he marveled at how different they were from the people they had been before they stepped foot in UA.
"You can't make others take responsibility for my actions!" He exploded, stepping back from Deku and pacing in hopes of quelling some of his agitation because Deku wasn't getting it. "What I did to you? Calling you names, hitting and tormenting you, burning your precious notebooks and hell, I even used my quirk on you! That was all me! Then–" He gritted his teeth, unable to say it again.
"I'm not!" Deku was quick to contradict. "What I'm saying is that no one gave you a chance to be better! We were kids! We still are! We shouldn't be fully liable for all the awful things because the adults in our lives failed us!"
"Shut up with that already–"
"The Kacchan months ago wouldn't even admit to doing those things." The sly bastard argued.
"That doesn't automatically make me a good person–" Katsuki now insisted, almost desperate and quaking with anger.
"It doesn't but it also doesn't necessarily make you a bad person." The nerd cut him off, almost gently as if sensing his barely restrained emotions. "If all there is to someone is their mistakes, then I guess I'm a bad person too." He straightened as if it was something to be proud of.
The declaration was so sudden that Katsuki felt himself deflate.
"You?" He scoffed. "Give me a break–"
"Once, I found Yajima-kun's homework back at the end of our first year in middle school. I didn't return it to him because he stole and threw away one of my limited All Might keychains." Deku looked ashamed, hands fiddling. "When Iruna-sensei asked for coffee from the teacher's lounge, it wasn't a mistake that I accidentally put in salt instead of sugar because she laughed when you and the others tore my math paper."
Despite himself, Katsuki snorted as he recalled those incidents. Though, he didn't know the nerd had it in him to be a vindictive little shit.
Some part of him wished that he'd shown that spine against him. Yet the logical part of him knew that if Deku had, Katsuki would just get worse and pushed down harder. He didn't want to dwell on the possibility of Deku recognizing that because that would mean he was still looking out for Katsuki despite everything.
He didn't know if he could live with himself if he had to acknowledge that right now.
Even then, it wasn't the same.
"You know that it's not–"
"And," The asshole raised his voice to talk over him, making the blonde twitch. "the thing I wasn't proud of the most was when I told my mom how you gave me that black eye in the middle of second year in middle school, knowing that she would tell Aunt Mitsuki. I thought that she would at least yell at you the way she always did when she saw what you were doing. But the very next day, you're sporting a large bruise instead on your face."
"…what?" Katsuki's eyes widened, unable to believe what he'd just heard.
He remembered that day. The old hag had been yelling the moment he got home and instantly got on his case about what happened to the nerd because she'd heard it from Inko. Obviously, Katsuki tried to brush her off and screamed at her when he couldn't. It was the first time his mother had really hit him straight up like that. Two loud smacks to the face. Normally, she just hit him at the back of the head or pulled on his hair at any particular disrespectful display or when they had fights at home.
That had obviously been not the case at that time.
Mitsuki had looked ashamed right after she had done it. And they didn't talk to each other for a month.
Admittedly, she had become lenient with him a bit for weeks and while she avoided getting more physical with him again, her words were often sharper than any hit she could've given him. Most of the time, Katsuki would have preferred that she just punched him than all those words she condemned him to in her anger.
Why did you have to grow up like this? She would express to him in her fits of rage. What use is that Quirk on you when you've become such a selfish, horrible–
But he never knew that the episode was triggered just because Deku had intentionally done something and wanted to get back at him–
"I deserved that, I guess." was his hollow response. Because he did.
It shouldn't feel relieving to say it. It really shouldn't.
"No! It was wrong! I shouldn't have done that. She shouldn't have done that." Deku was now looking like a regretful fucker and Katsuki wasn't having it.
It was supposed to be Katsuki being condemned for his actions. Not for Deku to once again step up, take the blame, and upstage him somehow. It wasn't about being the best at being horrible especially when he hadn't yet given the apology Deku deserved–
"You know what, I'm not doing this with you." Katsuki eventually spoke, turning around and marching back into the gym.
"But Kacchan–"
"If you really do know me as well as you claim, then you should know better than to drag this shit out right now." He glared over his shoulder before marching off once he was certain that Deku wouldn't push.
oOo
To be honest, he hadn't been really thinking that far ahead when he blurted out that specific part of their history.
After their house arrest, Katsuki knew that things between him and Deku had mellowed out and the others were relieved and had even expressed their support. Still, even at that time, there was an unease building up within him at the seamless way their interaction had settled down. It hadn't been until Kaminari commented on how he was proud that Katsuki was now friends with Deku that it finally clicked.
These assholes spoke like it was that easy and something to be fucking proud of because they didn't know.
It ate at him a whole lot than he would like to admit.
After the Cultural Festival, he had been on edge as everyone gushed about their performance and how it had been a successful bonding for their class. The sudden absence of belonging startled him until he just couldn't ignore it anymore.
On a Sunday night, Aizawa had called on their class at the common room to congratulate them and to discuss about curfew again and punishments about sneaking out. Apparently, some extras from 1-B had tried to sneak out to buy whatever. After the discussion, Deku was bidding him a loud, shaky but cheery goodnight that had the girls cooing.
It was then that Katsuki had exploded.
By the time he was done with his tirade, most of them were shocked and speechless. Those who snapped out of their stupor had stared at him coldly. Icyhot hadn't even bothered to mask the sudden alarm and anger on his face when he had glared at Katsuki. To be honest, he hadn't wanted to deal with the fall out so he immediately rushed back to his room because, at least, now everyone would stop patronizing his and Deku's relationship and were now aware who he really was and what he was capable of.
Katsuki never planned on covering it up in the first place.
He had waited all night for Aizawa to knock on his door and inform him about his expulsion.
Hell, he'd expected the other extras to break into his room and express their disgust and fury. At least, that was something he would've expected from Round Face or Glasses, knowing how much they were so devoted to Deku.
None of that happened.
Understandably, Katsuki had been a bundle of nerves all day and avoided interaction with anyone like his life depended on it. To be fair, none of the others approached him which was fine since he didn't know if he would be able to look them in the eye and see all the negativity directed at him that would be deserved.
Aizawa kept eyeing him at homeroom but hadn't said anything. It was already hard enough to get a read on the man on a normal day however, the man made it downright impossible that Monday morning. Katsuki felt and ignored all the stares burning at the back of his head. It was fine.
By lunch, he could see Pikachu shuffling towards him, hesitant.
So, Katsuki had made the choice for him and left before anyone could confront him.
Only when he'd tried hiding in the gym, knowing no classes would be there at lunch time, Deku had managed to fucking corner him. To be honest, Katsuki would've preferred for the nerd to have raged at him for all the stuff he had done. Because Katsuki was intimately familiar with anger. Knew how to deal with it. How to face it.
Not that. Never that. Whatever the hell it was.
He figured that it would all start with Deku so he wasn't the least bit surprised when Icyhot, who had the most emotional response to his admission that night, would be the next to hunt him down at a fucking bench outside the dorm buildings.
"You know, I'm not surprised." Half n' Half certainly looked calmer as he sat on the bench and fixed Katsuki with a steady gaze.
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Katsuki found himself automatically responding gruffly.
Then his shoulders tensed at the implication of the other's words. Did this bastard just imply that it was in the blonde's nature to be a bully? Did fucking Todoroki actually believe that?
Ah. Did Katsuki remind him of his shitty father? They were similar, weren't they?
It seemed like the shitty candy cane caught on and his heterochromatic eyes widened in distress before forcibly smoothing out his expression. It was the most interesting gymnastics of facial muscles that he had seen on the guy in the past few months that they had known each other.
"Back at the remedial course, you told me that you were raised in violence." Icyhot brought up.
"I'm not like you." was the immediate declaration before he could think better on it.
The two-toned haired teen blinked at him, apparently not expecting that.
This was the worst. The worst. Now, he also had to admit that he had unintentionally listened to the other's family drama and issues and still demanded for him to give it his all back at the Sports Festival. Back then, all he had cared about was winning first place undisputedly. Maybe Midnight had the right idea of sedating him. Though, he wondered what they saw in him when he'd refused the award for them to subject him to that humiliation.
Not to mention, Mitsuki wasn't like that. Not like what Endeavor had put his son through. She was normally an intense person who spoke more with actions than words because it would always perfectly convey the weight of their intention.
That was the mindset he had worked with on those kids during the remedial courses. If they wouldn't fucking listen to him, maybe he could make them.
It had been the reason why when she did use her words, it always had the power to crawl its way under his skin and stay there for long periods than he should let it.
"I can tell," Fucking Todoroki merely said, not demanding for answers. "But you are clearly an example of how I would've turned out if I gave in to my anger against my father."
What an odd thing to say. That would imply that the other had a lot of pent-up anger. Then again, not everyone expressed said emotion the way Katsuki did.
We were both raised in violence was the unvoiced sentiment. He ignored it. Someday, he hoped Todoroki would understand that there were different facets to violence. That there were pains that dug deeper than any bruise or blow ever could and would stay there even if all the physical wounds had healed.
"I would've thought that you would straight up compare me to that garbage. Because clearly, we're made from the same mould." Katsuki couldn't help but slightly mock the other because he refused to dance around the complexities of dealing with this shithead.
The other frowned.
"I'll admit that when I first heard about it, I was angry." He raised a hand as if he expected Katsuki to cut him off. "But only because what you described uncomfortably reminded me of my childhood."
"There you fucking have it." He gave a slow clap.
"You may be alike in some aspects but you're nothing similar in what matters." Icyhot continued, undeterred by Katsuki's uncooperative company. "He knew what he was doing. You are still learning. And with the right people around you, you managed to work hard to better yourself despite your huge ego, not only as a hero but also as a person. No one can just ignore that. I only had to look at Midoriya to confirm what I already know." He seemed oddly at peace with this.
"Like I told Deku, it doesn't suddenly erase how I acted towards him." He crossed his arms over his chest, skin crawling at this easy acceptance.
"No, it doesn't because you won't let it happen." The half and half bastard sounded so sure as he stood up from the bench. "That past belongs to you and Midoriya and only he has the right to judge and forgive you. That's what the whole class had to say on the matter." His lips tilted up into something like a half smile.
Katsuki bared his teeth.
"I don't need your pity." He spat.
"It isn't. Believe it or not, Bakugou, the only one who is punishing you right now is yourself." Icyhot had the nerve to tell him. "We got a chance to know you. So, believe in what you entrusted us to see in you."
What the hell did they even see? What was there to see?
You're a selfish, horrible child! No one would want a hero like that, Katsuki! were words spoken to him years ago and were used to fuel the anger that gave him the motivation to keep moving forward no matter what. It took the destruction in Kamino and All Might's retirement to drive home the fact that those words were probably right all along. It took so much of him just to reconcile with the fact that he had been wrong when he was used to being right.
That was why it was so shitty of this candy cane to just barge on him like this and claim that he was wrong again.
With that, Todoroki walked back to the dorms like the fucking drama queen he was.
"Jackass." Katsuki grumbled, shaken but not willing to admit it.
Ignoring the sudden sting in his eyes, he exhaled slowly.
oOo
When he went back to his room, he wasn't surprised to see Kirishima waiting by his door.
In fact, Katsuki was rather relieved that he didn't have to seek him out after all. Even if he denied it, he knew that the person he was closest to in his class was probably the redhead. The other was like Deku in that regards. He stuck around no matter what. Both with compassion that never turned away anyone. The only difference was that Kirishima didn't take Katsuki's shit lying down. He spoke up but respected his boundaries, admired him but never treated him more or less than an equal.
So, bracing himself, he opened his door and entered, keeping it open to indicate entry as the redhead took that permission.
"I think this is the first time you've let someone in your room!" Kirishima voiced cheerily despite the tension in the air.
Katsuki grunted.
He was someone who valued his personal space tremendously, a solitary creature by choice, and he'd made sure that his dorm room was off limits. That was something he never had at home because his parents always barged their way into his room one way or another.
The idiot brigade, despite their needling about him being secretive, had never really forcefully invaded that space despite his wariness about their nosiness. They still bothered him about inviting them over from time to time but they never pushed for it. They respected that each one's room was their personal haven, thus, shouldn't be invaded unless given permission. Katsuki appreciated that.
Nonetheless, he didn't think there was anything special about his room. Half of his large bookshelf was filled with textbooks, mostly about science, and other literatures he liked reading in his spare time. The other half was the collection of hero memorabilia he'd collected over time, something he'd stopped doing since halfway through middle school, focusing his allowance on training gears since his mom got snappy at having to spend money on merch shit.
He had a large fluffy orange carpet spread out beside his bed which was covered in black sheets, a specially tailored fabric that his dad had designed to be resistant to heat. The same fucking useful one when he first got his Quirk especially now that he occasionally got nightmares and set off small explosions.
His training weights were organized on the floor beside his desk and he had kept his walls bare because the dark contrast to the cream coloring set off his paranoia on nights his anxiety wouldn't let him have a peaceful night.
Kirishima awkwardly stood in the middle of the room, head swiveling around and taking everything in.
"Just take the chair." Katsuki finally gestured while he threw his bag on the bed and gracelessly collapsed beside it.
"If you're sure, dude!" Shitty Hair was too cheery even for the blonde as he sat at the only available chair in the room. "Your room is nice, though. It really screams out who owns it." He smiled at this, still enchanted for some reason.
He clicked his tongue in response.
"So, what do you want?"
He just wanted to get this over with.
At that, Kirishima visibly deflated.
Katsuki almost regretted bursting his bubble but the more that they danced around the subject, the more agitated he became.
"First of all, I wanted to say thank you." Kirishima told him determinedly.
"Ha?!" He glared at him in confusion. "What the fuck for?!"
This reaction was infinitely more befuddling than Icyhot's.
"It's just—" The redhead seemed to war with himself before taking a deep breath. "I mean, what you did wasn't really cool. I don't really like it. But, at the same time, it's enlightening in its own way." He chuckled self-consciously.
Katsuki had his guard up in seconds. He still didn't know what the hell was this about.
"Speak in Japanese, Shitty Hair." He deadpanned.
Kirishima grimaced. "Despite being an asshole eighty percent of the time, your morals have always been so fixed and unshakeable. I've always admired that about you."
"Are we still talking about the same damn thing? Because you're not making sense right now."
"I know, I know." The other replied sheepishly, sensing his impatience. "It's just that our society right now have such a perfect image of what a hero should be that it's easy to forget they're still just people. Even now, I'm struggling to keep up with that image, hating myself when I couldn't and doubting myself when I remembered the times that I failed."
Katsuki remained quiet. Kirishima had always been determined in everything he did that it was easy to forget that he held a lot of insecurities.
But what he'd said was true.
The first time that had really sunk in was after the Sports Festival. A lot of people had called him unheroic, especially with that spectacle of an award ceremony. Then there was Best Jeanist who put a lot of stock on what image as a hero he projected to the public. And then there were his parents. Mitsuki was always the one who called him out on his behavior while Masaru always pleaded to him to just do as his mother said.
His anger had been such an ingrained part of him that he couldn't imagine acting otherwise just to appease some strangers.
He wondered how much the value of a hero depended on that image.
"And hearing that kind of past about you, it explains a lot of things between you and Midoriya and it reminded me that despite our resolve to be a good hero, we don't have to be perfect." Kirishima continued.
"I was a bully." Katsuki pointed out bluntly. "At the time, I did those things I did just because I could."
"Yeah, it's horrible to hear you admit to that." The redhead frowned. "To be honest, at the start of first year, I really didn't like you. Because your attitude wasn't manly. But then at USJ, you showed me that there was more to you and that I should stop judging people based on one assumption." He rubbed the back of his head.
"Just because there's a different side to me doesn't mean that the other sides are not real."
Why weren't these people getting it?
"I know but bro, it also means that that side isn't the only thing about you." was the swift response.
"Kirishima," The other straightened at the absence of the nickname. "What are you really trying to say?" He finally went straight to the point, tired of going in circles.
The redhead fidgeted before sighing.
"You know, the Kirishima you know now isn't the Kirishima back in elementary and middle school." His friend opened up. "I was the person who looked away when someone was being bullied in front of me back in elementary, just because I was scared. When I tried to change in middle school and stood up for others, I didn't really end up helping anyone. When it mattered the most, I froze up in front of a villain and didn't do anything. I almost gave up on being a hero." He brought up his hands to rub away at frustrated tears.
"Why didn't you?" asked Katsuki quietly.
He wasn't a stranger to that mindset, especially after Kamino. Not to mention, he'd been so frustrated about failing the Provisional Hero License Exam that he doubted himself more than he could remember.
This is the only thing that you're good at and you can't even get it right, he remembered admonishing himself every night after remedial classes.
It was a feeling that he battled with occasionally.
Katsuki couldn't help but wonder how many of his classmates felt this way.
"Crimson Riot." Kirishima said. "I watched one of his interviews. He was the first one who taught me that there are other sides to people, to heroes. That despite it, we can still be a hero."
"Why the fuck are you telling me this?" He tried to mask his discomfort.
Katsuki wasn't really good at handling people opening up to him. He sucked at talking, for one. And when he tried his best to offer support and encouragement, it was taken the wrong way most of the time.
His classmates had learned recently to ask questions when he offered his opinion because, apparently, what they understood and what he meant didn't coincide at all.
"We were kids back then, Bakugou." Kirishima smiled sadly at him. "We really did a lot of shitty things. But we changed, didn't we?"
Although he sounded like he was trying to comfort Katsuki, he could recognize the desperate need for the blonde to agree in his eyes. This was totally unfair. Why did Kirishima want to get this validation from him of all people? Not when Katsuki wasn't sure if he really was different from back then after all.
Had he?
Did Katsuki really change? Deku and Icyhot seemed to think so. Shitty Hair believed it too.
For some reason.
But it didn't really feel like it though.
When he looked at Deku, Katsuki felt like it was easy to be fourteen again and be the villain in the nerd's story.
There had been that time after the Slime Villain incident where Katsuki reflected on his actions. At first, he hadn't wanted to admit it. Because admitting it would mean that he might not be cut out to be a hero, something he refused to give up on. Not after years of those hurtful words echoing in his head from the one person that he wanted to believe in him the most. He learned to curb in his attitude somewhat at UA, relieved that no one would take his shit.
That if he couldn't keep himself in control, there were others here who would.
In a way, Round Face had been right. He had been showing his fangs to distance himself from Deku, from everyone. Because Katsuki hadn't wanted to acknowledge how far behind he was in the things that mattered.
But going on like everything he did back then hadn't happened, celebrating his supposed friendship with the nerd like it never mattered, it didn't sit well with him.
Deku and Shitty Hair both told him that they were kids back then. That even heroes-in-training still made mistakes. Icyhot said they were still learning. Katsuki wasn't one to regret things because it changed nothing. He had just wanted—
"Get out of my room." He finally said, voice strained.
To his credit, Kirishima didn't fight him on it. The redhead knew when to back off.
Katsuki had always appreciated that about him.
"Please don't punish yourself too much." Shitty Hair told him before disappearing back into the hallway.
oOo
He knew that he couldn't ignore everyone forever but before they could get a chance to fucking give him the pep talk of the century once again, Katsuki had resolved that he would deal with the most urgent one.
However, he hadn't expected to bump into Glasses who had just exited the staff room.
Katsuki scowled at him. If there was anyone who would be the most vocal, he figured that it was gonna be him. However, the class president only gave him a grim nod in response. None of the anger or disgust that he was anticipating from Deku's circle. It was weird to hear from Icyhot but to actually see physical evidence of it from the bespectacled teen was another matter entirely. It was unbelievably jarring.
"I believe Todoroki-kun had already informed you of the class's stance on the matter, Bakugou-kun." Glasses stated it so matter-of-factly that he didn't know what was going on anymore.
"It doesn't matter." He murmured lowly as he walked around the other.
"But it does." The conviction in the taller teen's words made him pause. "Back during our first internships, I chose to intern with Manual at Hosu City despite the fact that I could've interned with someone I'm more suited with. I had questionable intentions, of course. After what happened to my older brother, I went there, prepared to be a murderer for a justice only I believed in." He disclosed, sounding openly chagrined.
What was it with people suddenly opening up to him about the apparent shitty things they did? Katsuki's admission wasn't supposed to be an invitation to tell him about these things.
While it was enlightening to know what the nerd had been up to at Hosu, Katsuki didn't need this shit.
"If you're implying that we're the same then I suggest you get that fucking brain fixed–"
"Straightforwardly, no, we're not." Glasses denied. "But in essence, I don't believe it's that dissimilar. It's easy to give in to the malice that all of us are capable of. Even the friendliest of faces could enact cruelty if given enough reason. The only difference between us is that I had people who pulled me back to the right path before I could stray from it. Right now, I see that you've been trying to walk back to it."
"What the hell are you saying?" Katsuki's voice didn't wobble. It didn't.
Because he didn't understand. If this was months ago, he knew that the class would properly respond to his revelation. Take Deku's side and finally see what other people around them had known all along. What his mom had always spat at him.
This was why he needed to talk to Aizawa. Katsuki needed everything to make sense again.
Because if he trusted anyone to be direct with him, it would be Eraserhead.
"Let the people around you keep you in the hero's path." Glasses implored. Let us help you.
"You don't know what you're asking." He whispered under his breath.
Before the class president could further pitch in whatever campaign he had going on, he pushed the door to the staff room and left the other behind. He was so fucking done with having deep conversations with several people, never mind that he usually avoided having any with anyone.
Instead of just Aizawa though, Bakugou froze upon seeing the entire Class 1-A in the room.
"What the fuck?"
"Ah, Blasty!" Racoon Eyes fidgeted, looking guilty.
"What the hell is going on?" He demanded loudly, eyeing each and every one of them who wouldn't meet his eyes.
Behind him, he felt Glasses step up beside him.
"We were asking Aizawa-sensei not to make any drastic actions about what you revealed to the class." The class president told him quietly. "Midoriya-kun was the one who initiated it and the class felt the need to express their support."
Again, what the fuck?
He knew, somewhat, what he had been getting into when he revealed what he had done. Bullying was a serious offense and he didn't think UA would simply tolerate it, especially with the image of their hero course on the line. The only thing he felt guilty about was how Aizawa had to defend his position here, only to be proven wrong about his investment in Katsuki's character when all of the people back there had been right.
Also, what the hell did that fucking nerd think about getting involved in his business? This was what he had always hated about him.
"All of you, out!" He screamed at them. "Out!"
"Bakugou, man, we're just trying to help." Soy Sauce Face protested.
And that's the thing.
Why the hell were they helping him? He didn't understand. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. These idiots were too fucking naive. Anything but that meant that being kicked out of UA would also mean losing more than just his place in the hero course. That what Deku, Icyhot, Shitty Hair and Glasses were saying was true. That it was real.
But acknowledging that would mean it would fucking suck if he lost this just because he decided to stop being in denial.
Katsuki refused to believe that.
"That's not for you to decide." He growled as he glared at them.
To his surprise, Pikachu stepped forward and away from the group, a determined set to his shoulders.
"Then if you're gonna face consequences for being a shitty kid, I should too." The blonde proclaimed, more confident than Katsuki remembered seeing from him before. "I tried to talk to you but, man, Kacchan, you really can't just make things easy, can you?" He grinned at him almost good-naturedly, his lips trembling.
Don't do that, he wanted to say. I was finally ready to accept it, you can't do this to me. You're a good guy. You can't just all make fucking assumptions that we're the same. Because I can barely accept it, how can you?
"Pikachu, if you don't shut up now, I'll fucking explode you." Katsuki snarled, trying to ignore the tightening of his chest.
"I wasn't a bully like you," Kaminari admitted with a sad frown, like a kicked puppy. "But I indirectly started one back in middle school. You know how I sometimes put my foot in my mouth? I was careless with my words. And someone was tormented and made fun of because of it. I'm trying to work on it, though. Sometimes, I still offend people. It helps that our classmates wouldn't just let me run my mouth here, so I'm learning." He gave a peace sign towards him.
You are still learning, Icyhot had said but Katsuki didn't know that it didn't apply only to him.
As if he knew what the blonde was thinking, said bastard was giving him a knowing look bordering on smug. If he wasn't busy being overwhelmed with these emotions he hadn't wanted to admit to, he would've gladly showed everyone how true his revelation was starting with that fucking Todoroki.
"I don't like what you did to Deku-kun," Round Face put in, frowning at Katsuki. "To be honest, I'm still a bit angry but I'm sure now that it won't happen again. Because now, you won't let it. And even then, our class wouldn't just sit back and watch."
Despite her threatening tone, however, something in her expression had still softened and that was more reassuring than plain acceptance.
Her sentiment was echoed by the rest of the idiots.
"We all trust Midoriya-san's decision. So, please don't worry anymore, Bakugou-san." Ponytail had the gall to say. "The presence of each one here from Class 1-A is to show that we acknowledge your growth too." She said kindly.
"You're not the only who's still growing, you know." Earphones blandly pointed out.
"I admire that you can own up to your mistakes." Arms offered, eyeing Katsuki shrewdly. "I don't think that was easy for you."
"Don't be fucking mistaken. I'm not regretting." He needed to make this point clear because it seemed like they were getting the wrong idea again. His eyes took in the way they tensed but eagerly waited for him to explain. These fuckers. "Because it's pointless. Regret won't change any of the stupid things I've done. So, don't tell me what to do."
To his bafflement, Dunce Face nodded at this.
"Of course, you're not one to half-ass things, dude!" He laughed, as if that was already obvious.
"You don't have to force it." Shitty Hair agreed quietly.
"Kacchan," Deku finally called out to him. "Do you get it now?"
We're not alone anymore, his green eyes said.
For once, Katsuki didn't feel threatened for believing in him.
"Are you done?"
Everyone jumped, shuffling guiltily as Aizawa looked up from the papers he was grading. The man had been so quiet that they forgot that he was still there in the first place. Hell, Katsuki had come for him and even he had overlooked him when the class had started showering him with their supposed support aggressively.
"You're all still kids," The man said pointedly before his gaze fell on Katsuki. "While your actions before was a cause for concern, your classmates are right. You have grown, still have a lot of room for it even. Judging you for your past actions won't help now. As your teacher, it's my job to ensure that you have the right support to achieve your goals. Expelling you–" his classmates promptly protested before Aizawa's eyes flashed and they fell silent. "–would serve no purpose other than destroy whatever progress you already made."
Katsuki hummed with tension. "But?"
There was a pause.
"I think this talk is between us two," Aizawa addressed the whole class, raising an eyebrow when they refused to move despite that Grape Fucker who looked like he badly wanted to leave the premises.
"Wait, sensei, not until you–" Deku just wouldn't let it go and before Katsuki could tear into him and probably destroy whatever fragile truce had been established, Toad clasped a hand on his shoulder.
"He already said that he's not expelling anyone, Mido-chan," She cut in, tilting her head to stare at the blonde. "And I think Bakugou-chan needs this more than we realize." She pointed out quietly.
He hated that even after all that mess, it was always, always Deku who was always trying to look after him even if Katsuki had conveyed numerous times that he hadn't wanted it. He badly wanted to believe that he was over it. Because Deku wasn't quirkless anymore. However, that would be lying as he knew that the other boy's quirklessness had nothing to do with it to begin with.
Yet when the other did things like this, it was so easy to fall back into fourteen-year-old Katsuki's mind and hate him all over again.
Katsuki was getting tired of always feeling like a shitty person. A selfish, horrible child.
"I'll take it from here," That didn't seem to appease Deku who looked more and more upset and only served to make the blonde more frustrated. "Midoriya, do you trust me?" Aizawa asked.
"I do, it's just–" At this, Deku frowned before straightening and staring deeply into Aizawa's eyes. "I trust you." He nodded to himself before promptly spinning on his heel and marching out of the room with their baffled classmates scrambling after him, as if he didn't do so right away, he would take his words back.
Once the door slammed closed behind French Bitch, silence reigned in the room.
"Midoriya has trust issues with adults," His homeroom teacher noted.
"I think it's because none of our teachers did anything about my shitty attitude back then," Katsuki admitted quietly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Though, that stupid nerd should know by now that you're different." He pursed his lips.
"I'm serious about what I said earlier. You're not getting expelled."
"But?" He winced at how he sounded so defensive.
Aizawa's lips twitched. "But you're going to have to face some consequences. For one, I'm going to set you up with weekly sessions with Hound Dog for therapy. I've let it slide when you declined after what happened in Kamino but I'm making it mandatory now. Your past account only reinforced the fact that you have a destructive approach of channeling your emotions. To others and yourself." He pointedly stared as he said this.
Despite himself, Katsuki bristled at the implication. "I wasn't–"
"Let me break it down for you," cut the man off as he set aside his papers. "You gain encouragement whenever you were praised about your grades and Quirk but the moment anything but those were pointed out in any positive light, you constantly avoid and outright reject it. But your classmates won't let you. So, in your detrimental path to set things even in your own way, you decided that revealing your unpleasant past with Midoriya would be the solution."
That's not only for you to share! Deku had screamed at him.
"That's not–" Katsuki could feel his palms heating up, shoulders hunching.
"You revealed information that you know could harm their belief in you." Aizawa continued on mercilessly. "Regardless of how damaging it is for you. Bakugou, do you really believe that you're a bad person?" was the near-silent whisper.
"Aren't I?" He hissed, clenching his hands around the sleeves of his blazer. "I wasn't exaggerating in what I said. Why do you think Deku is so insecure and full of self-doubt? I caused that shit. Fuck, that nerd was scared of me during our first week in this school! You saw how I was even back during that damn Quirk apprehension test. I did all those things because I was so full of myself." He felt an abnormal calm washing over him at getting that out in the open.
"You're surprisingly self-aware for someone full of himself." The teacher noted wryly, unperturbed by Katsuki's glower before sighing. "Midoriya doesn't trust adults to handle this. Don't you think there's a reason for that? A kid tormented by a fellow kid. Who would he turn to? Who can he trust to protect him? The adults, Bakugou. It's their job to correct your behavior before you had the chance to be that worse. What did your parents do?"
You're a selfish, horrible child!
Katsuki shrugged. "The old hag handled it and my old man always left it to her."
At the mention of his mother, Aizawa's brows furrowed.
"And what did she do?"
"Got angry a lot," he mumbled. "What does it matter? I'm a selfish and horrible kid." He averted his gaze.
"And you don't think you're capable of being a good one?" Aizawa pried.
Katsuki flinched at the question, uncrossing his arms as his palms seared the fabric of his blazer.
"I– I don't fucking know, okay?!" He exploded, agitated as he started pacing to flush out the restless energy thrumming under his skin. "I'm trying. That shit doesn't come easily to me. When I think I actually know what I'm doing, there's some new damn rule that I'm clueless about until someone reminds me what an asshole I am. Then it feels impossible. And I hate lying, I can't fake my way out of that one. Some hero I am," He growled in frustration.
He didn't mention how he had given up fighting against it because Mitsuki had firmly believed in it, no matter how much he'd resisted in the beginning.
"Kid," Aizawa called him, effectively locking Katsuki in place with a word. "There's a lot to unpack here. Being a good person isn't something that's linear and it doesn't come naturally to everyone. For some people, it can be especially difficult." Katsuki scowled. "Sometimes, it's an exhausting battle that you got to keep doing just to be one."
Katsuki maintained his silence.
There was another sigh.
"Fine, I'll be informing your parents that you won't be going home for a while," Aizawa suddenly declared as he took out his phone. "Your sessions would be scheduled on those weekends. Another thing that I'm assigning you to do would be to apologize to Midoriya, if you haven't already. I don't care how but work up to it, find a method that you feel is sincere and wouldn't feel forced on your part." He paused. "And this time, let a capable adult take care of it." He added as an afterthought.
"W-Wha–" Katsuki blinked rapidly. "That's it?" He demanded in disbelief.
Aizawa merely stood up and gathered the papers he'd been working on earlier.
"Being a hero doesn't mean that you have to be what everyone considers to be their ideal image of good." He remarked. "I certainly am not. If you're motivated to do the right thing, it doesn't really matter why. This will be just the beginning. Working on yourself will be already hard enough. I'm giving you the chance no one gave you before."
Katsuki thought of all the people who'd gotten on his case about being villainous, about fixing him, and he found that he liked what Aizawa implied more.
He still had years to make up for–
"What about Deku?" He found himself asking quietly.
"He's also going to be assigned sessions with Hound Dog," Aizawa said as he trudged to the door before pausing. "For what it's worth Bakugou, I don't think that you're a horrible kid. But you can certainly be better. It's not a weakness to accept the help offered to you, you just got to be smart about those and treat it as part of your resources to improve." Then his lips curled. "I meant what I said at the press conference back then. You're my responsibility now whether you like it or not."
Despite himself, Katsuki couldn't suppress the laugh that bubbled out of him.
Aizawa looked surprised at this development.
"H-Hey, sensei," He called out once he got it out of his system. "I want to learn that too." He declared and when the other looked confused, he clarified. "How to accept help, I mean." He murmured under his breath, not quite able to meet the man's eyes.
Aizawa huffed, amused. "I think you're already off to a good start."