Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Xander watched from the shadows as the soldiers that had survived Adam loaded their gear and then themselves, his eyes searching for one face among them until he spotted him standing next to one of the large trucks, arms folded over his chest, his face blank.
He watched as the man stiffened and then the blue eyes began searching the shadows, he stepped forward a little, enough to be noticed and then stepped back to be hidden again. He saw the eyes soften a little, this he knew would have to be their goodbye, neither of them had a chance to sneak away from their friends to talk in private.
He had never expected to fall for a guy, let alone someone from the military, they'd had to be careful for so many different reasons, only two people knew, Riley and Anya.
Graham nodded ever so slightly before he turned and slid into the cab of the truck as it began to pull out.
Xander stood watching until he couldn't see the trucks anymore and then sighed as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder.
“You really think that you can stay here, Riley?” Xander asked softly, not turning around but looked up at the stars.
“I have to try, Xan, I love her.” Riley answered just as quietly. “What are you going to do now?”
“Things have changed here and I'm not so sure that I can take it anymore.” Xander sighed lowering his head and as one they began to walk away from the collage. “I've spent the last four years putting everyone in front of my own needs and wants, I know that if I stay here I'll just get pulled back in so I'm going to have to leave.” He unlocked his car and they climbed in.
“Where are you going to go?” Riley asked as Xander drove them back to the magic box.
“I have no idea.” Xander shrugged. “Just away from here, no one has a long life expediency here, not even us.” he parked and turned off the engine just staring at the store for a long moment. “It's not going to be easy for anyone of us, I don't know if they're going to beg me to stay or be really flippant and wave me off.” He frowned a little. “To be honest I'm not sure which one I'd prefer.” He reached into his pocket as he cell began ringing. “I'll be in as soon as I'm done.” Xander told Riley.
“I'm sure that they will understand.” Riley murmured before getting out of the car and headed into the Magic Shop.
“I hope so.” Xander sighed before answering the call. “Yeah, Harris.”
“Alexander.” A smooth male voice greeted him, one that he hadn't heard in months.
“Patrick.” Xander returned easily hiding his swirling emotions, though he wasn't sure he managed to hide the faint smile that had tugged at his lips when he heard the man's voice. “It's been awhile, how is business? The rest of the family?”
“Business is doing fine, it's actually a family matter that I am calling you about.” Patrick's concern began to bleed through. “I know that you can get information on nearly anything if you put your mind to it.”
“And have done so for you before.” Xander agreed quietly, glancing at the Magic shop, his smile fading away completely. “What info do you need?”
“John is missing on a classified mission, I'm getting stone walled. He's been gone for just over a year, maybe more, all I'm being told it that it is classified and I don't need to know.”
“With your rating?” Xander blinked a little in surprise.
“Exactly.”
“That is high.” Xander murmured. “Give me a week to get back to you, better off not talking on the phone about this.”
“Yeah, I've waited this long a few more weeks isn't going to change anything.” Patrick sighed.
“Which house should I head to?” Xander asked as he pulled the keys out of the ignition.
“I'll send you my schedule later so you know where I'll be at when you head my way.” Patrick murmured. “How have things been on your end?”
“I'll fill you in on that when I get there, but the way things are looking right now, I'm headed out of town permanently.”
“I'm looking forward to hearing all about it then, I will see you soon.” He could hear the pleased tone and the relief.
“soon.” Xander agreed before hanging up. He glanced at the shop again and then slipped out of the car and headed into the shop, locking up the car before heading inside.
Four steps in he frowned at how quiet the store was and looked up from looking at his phone to see Riley sitting at the research table looking pained and Giles was standing at the counter cleaning his glasses, and Spike was standing in the entry way that lead to the training room. No one else was in the shop.
“Where are the girls?” Xander asked looking around again, feeling his stomach knot and sink.
“They aren't here, they headed out three hours ago headed to LA for a few days shopping trip.” Giles sighed looking up from his glasses. “They didn't tell me that you had asked to see anyone later. I called them an hour later when Spike informed me that you had asked to see everyone tonight but they refused stating that they were already out of town.”
“I see.” Xander rubbed at his forehead for a moment. “Then I'll just have to get you to pass on the information.” Xander shook his head. “I got a job offer out of town, I've already done two interviews and I have a four month trial starting in a few weeks, it's going to take me that long just to find somewhere to stay, so I'm headed out tomorrow morning.” He met Giles's eyes. “I won't be here to tell them myself and I can't put it off until they get back, I told them that I had something important to tell them and not to skip.” He growled in frustration.
“Then it is their own fault.” Giles sighed. “Will you be in contact?”
“As much as I can but the first few weeks are going to be hectic.” Xander shrugged and handed them all a card. “That's for my voice mail, I'll check it as I can but it could be a few days before I get back to you.” He slid his phone into his pocket.
“You're not keeping your phone number?”
“Probably not.” Xander shrugged. “I'm not sure I'll be staying in state.” He rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “I'm not sure if you were told but I'm adopted, my father gave me up when my mother died he couldn't handle an toddler and three other kids under the age of fifteen at the same time.” Xander explained. “I reached out when I was eight, he to my surprise got back to me, he tried to get custody back when he found out my parents were drunks but the courts denied us both, don't know how that worked, maybe the mayor's handy work.” He sighed. “he was barred from contacting me until I was eighteen, but I wasn't. I sent him monthly letters about my life, I got a few back a few times a year from my brothers behind everyone's backs. As soon as I was of age we've been in weekly contact, he's been pushing for me to leave Sunnydale and has offered me a few different jobs, scholarships anything he could think of to get me to budge.”
“Why didn't you take him up on his offers?” Giles frowned.
“I wanted to make my own way. I'm stubborn like that.” Xander sighed.
“Has this has what to do with you leaving now?” Riley frowned.
“Not much, but I wasn't sure if you were told. I'm not sure if even Willow remembers, she sometimes gives me funny looks when I'd mention that I'd heard from my father or brothers.”
“Are you going to see them before your new job starts?” Giles asked.
“Maybe.” He glanced at Spike letting him know that he wanted a word with him before he disappeared out into the night for his weekly rounds of poker. “You need a ride home Ri? I got a few things to check out before I head out of town.”
“I'm good.” Ri shook his head. “What if someone asks for a contact number?” He gave Xander a look.
“Everyone who needs to know has it.” Xander shook his head.
“And the girls?”
“They don't know how to ask for help until it's too late.” Xander shook his head. “Willow has my email account if she wants to rant at me she can do it that way.” He shrugged. “Spike that order you've been waiting for showed up, I got it in the trunk if you want to grab it now.”
“Sure whelp.”
“I’m sorry to be so short, but I'm angry and disappointed and I'm trying not to take it out on you guys.” He apologised tightly.
“I understand Xander.” Giles held up his hand to stop him. “I'll tell the girls when they get back...what about Anya?”
“She knows, we broke up awhile back, she stuck around so I could help her out.” Xander shrugged and headed for the door and paused. “Thanks for everything G-man.” He smiled, gave a little salute and headed out to his car, opening up the trunk as Spike approached and handed him a esky.
“What is this whelp?” Spike drawled with a raised eyebrow. “I didn't order nothing.”
“I know, I did when I knew I was leaving.” He lifted the lid revealing bags of blood. “All human, it'll keep you at 100 percent for a few months if you freeze what you don't use, it'll be good for up to three months, just defrost it slowly in warm water.” He closed the lid and handed it over.
“What do you want for this, whelp?”
“It's a thank you for helping and for a small favour. My brother disappeared a year or so ago on a classified mission and it's near impossible for those who have high ratings to get any info, they asked me to put the word out to see if I could find anything.” Xander explained quietly. “I know that the demon network has fingers in a lot of pies even if they are highly classified.”
“His name?”
“Major John Sheppard, Air Force.” He raised an eyebrow as Spike frowned. “What?”
“Heard something about that just before we found about the Initiative, a new project was starting at Cheyenne Mountain or had already started there, something about finding something lost for ages.” He took the esky after lighting a smoke. “one of the people who can give you more information is O’Neill that's all I know. But Sheppard was on that mission.”
“Thanks, if you hear anything else can you leave it on my voice mail?” Xander requested softly.
“Sure thing Whelp.” Spike nodded.
“If you run out and get badly hurt, call and I'll get you some more blood within twenty four hours of me getting it.” Xander nodded closing the boot and moved, unlocking his car.
“You leaving now or in a few hours?” Spike asked.
“Now, or I'll never get out of here.”
“Take care of yourself Whelp.” Spike nodded, almost looking lost before he shook it off and disappeared into the shadows.
Xander slid in behind the wheel, started the engine and started at the magic shop for a long moment before he pulled on his seat belt and returned to his apartment to throw the last of his suitcases into the car, everything else had already been put into storage or sold.
When the last bag was loaded he hit the road.
**
After a few days stop at Vegas Xander finally pulled into his father's vacation home in Denver, swiping a card he'd been given for his birthday to get through security and parked just off the verandah steps and slid out from behind the wheel.
He stretched wincing as a few joints snapped, he paused grabbing one of his duffel bags and headed up the steps, used his keys to get in the front door, he closed it, punched his alarm code in to the alarm system and looked around. The house was quiet but Patrick's personal car was in the drive.
He made his to the study and tapped on the door when he found the man sitting behind his desk.
“Patrick?”
“Alexander.” He smiled tiredly. “I wasn't expecting you for another few days.”
“It was a good drive.” Xander smiled setting his duffel bag on one of the chairs. “I do have some news for you, I'm not so sure that it's good or not.” He leaned on the back of the chair. “I asked around before I left about John and what sort of mission he was on.” He looked over his shoulder as some one walked in and grinned, turning to give the man a bear hug getting a laugh and returned hug. “Matt. It's so good to see you, I wasn't expecting to see you at all with you...”
“I had leave time.” Matt beamed. “What are you doing here?”
“He's being asking his contacts about John.” Patrick answered for him. “Since we've been hitting walls.”
“You have contacts?” Matt looked at Xander with a frown.
“I have friends who know people, who know people.” Xander shrugged and paused. “David here too?”
“He'll be here by dinner.” Patrick smiled seeing the delight on his youngest son's face. “So tell us what you've heard...have you eaten?”
“Yeah but I won't say no to some coffee.” He nodded.
“Kitchen it is then.” Xander followed the other two men to the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar, accepting the coffee and just breathed it in for a moment.
“Not much is known, just some huge project was starting just before John disappeared and all my information says he was on it. It was to find something that was lost in ancient times and there wasn't a lot of hope that who ever went on this mission was coming back.” He said bluntly, his face tight. “I also got a name to ask more questions from, he's the only one we should approach if we want answers and not to be buried in paperwork for breaking classifications.” Xander sipped at his coffee as Patrick and Matt settled at the bar as well. “From I heard this man is reasonable, his personable but he will have your ass in a sling if you fuck with him...” He grinned. “Much like our family.”
“His name?”
“I only got one and it's a last.” Xander warned. “O'Neill.”
“Where was this mission taking off from.” Patrick growled. “Cheyenne?”
“Yeah that's what I got told.”
“He lied to me.” Patrick snarled throwing his coffee mug and stormed out of the kitchen.
“He's pissed...” Xander held himself from flinching, yet had a small smirk on his face.
“He's never raised a hand to us in anger.” Matt said softly. “And yeah, dad hates being lied to, especially about us or our well being.” He leaned back in his seat. “Did you ever meet John after dad found you?”
“Three times.” Xander nodded, leaning back in his seat. “Met twice in LA and once in Vegas, same place I used to meet you and David.” He smiled. “Always had a great time when I met up with any of you.” He smirked. “Especially when you all smuggled me into the casino's to play.”
“Shh.” Matt pressed a finger to his lips. “Don't tell dad.” He whispered. “So what's changed since your last letter I got last month?”
“What did I say in it?” Xander frowned and sipped at his coffee.
“You were seeing someone but were very careful at not saying a name and that you were very busy dealing with someone's screwed up idea of a science experiment.” Matt shrugged. “Figured you might explain more once we were face to face.”
“Signed disclosure, I might be able to tell Patrick depending on just how high his rating goes but not you at this point.” Xander shook his head. “I'm not going to prison just to satisfy your curiosity.”
“I can wait.” Matt nodded in understanding. “And the person you were seeing?” he tilted his head when Xander didn't say anything. “Xan, our whole family has a quiet history of seeing both sexes while we are in service, once we're out we tend to be a little louder but not much.” Matt explained with a smile.
“DADT, Matt.” Xander sighed softly. “He's still in.”
“Gotcha.” Matt nodded and then frowned. “What was military doing in your town?”
“Matt.” Xander frowned at him.
“Right, gotta wait.” Matt sighed, pouting at him. “I hate waiting.”
“I think it's a family trait.” Xander shrugged. “Along with the temper, how we see loyalty, family...” He smirked. “And how we see and look after sex.” He glanced at Matt. “So who was yours last night?”
“A one nighter.” Matt grimaced. “Don't really like them but being active military it's the only way to scratch an itch.” He shrugged. “You know you never said why you and the girl you were seeing broke up...”
“She wanted some one to look after her, the sex was just a bonus. After we sat down and had a long talk about ten months ago and decide we were better off friends living together until we found someone we wanted to really be with.” Xander shrugged. “Our friends didn't know about it, she covered for me with my guy.” He added softly. He glanced over his shoulder towards the direction their father had gone. “Is he going to calm down before we find out what happened to John?”
“I don't know.” Matt shrugged. “But it could be awhile.” He gulped down the rest of his coffee. “You staying here or are you going to slip off and find a motel to stay in?”
“Patrick demanded that if I'm going to be in a hundred miles of him I have to stay in his house.” Xander chuckled shaking his head. “Got the rest of my gear in the car, most of my belongings because I was moving to go for a better paying job.”
“I'll help you get your things up to your floor.” Matt stood.
“Floor?” Xander asked slowly getting up to follow Matt out to his car, hauling out four suitcases, two large backpacks and three duffel bags.
“Each of us has a floor to themselves.” Matt shrugged. “Think of it as an apartment inside a large house.” Matt suggested slinging on a backpack and picked up two duffel bags and then two suitcases, leaving the rest for Xander to collect.
“House doesn't look big enough for that.” Xander muttered grabbing his things and following Matt.
“What you see from the front is Dad's wing, at the stairs, left bottom is David's, up is John's, Right bottom is mine and up is yours.” Matt explained leading the way up the stairs and took a right turn, fumbled a door open that led to another hallway and then a few door ways down into a large bedroom with the bathroom off to the side. “This is the main bedroom, those three doors we passed are guest bedrooms for any friends that might stay over, then it's your study/library, lounge/theatre room, guest bathroom, two empty rooms for any hobbies you might have, dad doesn't care how messy it gets you do it there until he knows what you really enjoy doing and then he builds a hobby shed for you.” Matt shrugged as he set the luggage down on the floor near the bed. “Even if all you use it for is to store your things that you can't take with you when you move about as we do.”
“Are all the houses like this one?” Xander asked a little dazed.
“The family houses yeah or bigger, the main house in Virginia is bigger.” Matt shrugged it off. “We don't see them much, most of the other houses are just apartments in different cities or smaller homes as we are usually only there a few days at a time.”
“This is going to take some getting used to.” Xander mumbled.
“It always takes me awhile to get used to it when I've been away for awhile.” Matt smiled slightly in understanding. “Get settled, nap for a few hours, you look like you could use it and come down for dinner.”
“Drove straight through, didn't want to stop.” Xander shrugged smothering a yawn.
“Dad's not going to be up for company until dinner at the earliest, I'm going to be getting a nap myself, I only got in two hours ago myself.” Matt clapped his shoulder before walking out of the room.
“Nap sounds good.” Xander muttered looking at the large king size double bed and then down at his clothes. “After a shower.” He turned to dig through his suitcases for a change of clothes and his toiletries and went to do just that.
**
After spending a few nights of hitting the clubs with Matt and David and spending most of his days catching up on sleep he found himself getting restless. Since the job that he had lined up to start in a few weeks had fallen through due to a problem with the company, he had to find something else. He knew from driving around the town that there wasn't any construction jobs going, though he had put in a few resumes to be considered when they did have a spot open to be considered.
“What's wrong Alex?” Patrick asked stepping into the library, watching his youngest son with some concern. “You've been pacing around the house like a caged lion for the last two days.”
“I'm bored.” Xander admitted his shoulders slumping. “There are no job openings in construction going and I don't have enough saved up from previous jobs to go shopping for things that will keep me out of trouble.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and gave Patrick a sheepish look.
“What about your trust fund?” Patrick frowned. “You can't have gone through that already in three years.”
“It's for emergencies.” Xander looked away from him.
“A bored Sheppard is a bad thing, Alex.” Patrick pointed out with an amused look. “We tend to get into trouble and fights and seriously injured, it's why most of us join the military so we don't get bored.” He eyed him for a moment. “Use your trust fund and get what you want to tinker with, it should keep you busy for awhile, I'm not going to be disappointed if you use it, it's why I gave it to you, you get the rest of it when you turn twenty one.”
“Rest of it?” Xander looked at him with his eyes widened in shock.
“That was only a small piece of it.” Patrick nodded. “Just to get you through school and into college if that is your choice.” He smiled. “All my kids get it, though like you they've chosen not to unless they need to, which is something I admit I like, but it doesn't mean that you have to go without if it isn't an emergency.”
“Right...” Xander took a deep breath. “Guess I'm going shopping then.”
“If it's going to be a big project then I suggest that you use your shed out back, that way you can make all the noise and mess you like and no one will nag or see it.” Patrick commented before he turned to leave the room. “I'm going to be gone for a few days, Matt returned to duty this morning and David is in Nevada for a few weeks.” He added before disappearing from view.
“Yeah I saw them off.” Xander called after him before he tilted his head and seriously thought about the idea in his head and ran up to his room to grab his bank card for his trust fund and the keys that David had given him for his hobby shed.
He headed out the back to find out which on of the five shed's was his and then headed into town to do some serious shopping.
**