Work Text:
Clint was spending the afternoon hanging out with Bucky in his and Steve's apartment having a weapons cleaning party. He was sitting in one of the living room chairs while Bucky sat on the couch next to Steve. The coffee table was cluttered with various cleaning supplies As his boyfriend cleaned and reapplied paint to his shield, Bucky and Clint were wiping knives and sharpening their blades, cleaning various guns, putting new strings on garrotes and making sure Clint's bow and arrows were in working order.
“Hey you guys got any candy?” Clint asked looking up from the rifle he was cleaning.
“Is candy all you think about?” Steve asked as he cleared a space on the coffee table to set his shield on for the paint to dry.
“No,” Clint answered. “I think about sex too.”
Steve blushed at Clint's words. Even though Steve had become more at eased with modern society, the man could still turn red at the very mention of the word sex. Both Clint and Bucky did their best to stiffen their giggles as they watched Steve's ears turn scarlet.
Bucky placed the knife he had cleaning down on the coffee table and stood up. “I'll go get the candy jar before he starts to tell us what he and Natasha do in bed.”
“At least I'm not making you sit through a slide show like Tony would1 do,” Clint called out to Bucky as he made his way to the kitchen
“Please tell me Tony doesn’t really have slides of him and Pepper...you know,” Steve asked with a cringed.
Clint rolled his eyes. “Really, Cap? You've sent selfies of yourself and Barnes in bed all sweaty and out of breath to Natasha and you still can't say the word sex out in the open? Are you afraid a flock of nuns is gonna come smashing in through the windows and start smacking you with rulers?”
“Barton, if you don't shut your trap, you don't get any candy. Got it?” Bucky hollered from the kitchen.
“Got it,” Clint answered; afraid the ex-assassin was being honest.
Clint had an insatiable love for candy. It did not matter if it was chocolate, caramel, marshmallow or gummy candy. His love for sweets was so great he had even gone as far as to hide secret candy stashes on nearly every floor of the tower including certain parts of the ventilation system. Steve and Bucky's floor was one of the few areas that he had not gotten around to yet.
Everyone knew better then to ask Clint if he would be willing to share with them. One day, Tony entered the communal floor and noticed two Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on the coffee table. Just as he was about to reach for one, an arrow suddenly flung through the air and narrowly missed striking the billionaire’s hand. Since then everyone made sure not to touch a single piece of Barton's candy.
“Here we go,” Bucky said as he returned holding a large glass candy jar which was full of multicolored wrapped candies.
'Jackpot,' Clint thought to himself as he watched Bucky set the jar on the coffee table before returning to his spot next to Steve on the couch.
“So Clint, what would you like?” Steve asked as he reached into the jar and started taking out pieces of candy. Root beer Barrel? Butterscotch? Cinnamon? Cherry? Peppermint? Spearmint? Watermelon? Mango? Coconut? Pineapple? Passion Fruit?”
Clint's face slowly breaks out into a frown as he realizes that the jar was filled with hard candy.
“Ooh, how 'bout one of these? Steve asked as he held up a candy with a wrapper that made it look like a strawberry. “These have a strawberry filled center. They’re great.”
“No thanks,” Clint replied before Steve held up the next candy.
“Sherbet Lemon?”
“Do I look like Dumbledore to you?”
“Who?” Bucky asked with a puzzled look on his face.
“Never mind,” Clint said before looking back to Steve. “You got anything else?”
“I think there's a couple pieces of licorice in here somewhere,” Steve replied as he picked through the hard candy. “Ah, there they are.”
However it turned out to be Black Licorice. Clint only ate Red Licorice. “No thanks. Do you have anything else?”
Steve looked to Bucky. “Do we have any of that Ribbon candy left?”
“Nah,” Bucky answered. “We finished the last of that stuff weeks ago. And we're out of Sour Fruit Ball too.”
“How 'bout the Mary Janes?”
“Finished those up Monday.”
The Captain pressed his lips together as he thought. “We've got to have something...wait a second,” Steve jumped up and headed over to the china-hutch and came back with a small glass dish.
“Here we go,” Steve stated as he set the dish down next to the candy jar.
The dish was filled with candy fruit slices and Clint let out a depressed sigh. “I should have known the only type of candy you two codgers would have would be old people candy.”
Bucky and Steve were baffled their friend's comment. How could there be a specific type of candy just for old people?
“You lost me. What do you mean old people candy?” Steve inquired.
“You know,” Barton replied gesturing with his hands. “It's the candy grandmas keep it in a fancy glass jar on lace doily in the center of the coffee table. Old ladies keep it in their purses and old guys suck on while they sit on park benches. ”
“This is the same type of candy we had growing up,” Bucky stated. “I don't know how you can call it old people candy if kids ate it too.”
“Kids like chocolate,” Clint retorted. “And candy that's chewy and gummy too. The stuff real candy is made of.”
“Okay Barton,” Steve began in his Captain America voice, “can you tell us a couple types of real candy?”
The spiky blond archer took a deep breath. “Hersey's bars. Kit-Kats. Milky Ways. Snickers. Reese's Peanut butter Cups. Ring Pops. Skittles. Tootsie Rolls. Red Vines. Baby Ruth Bars. Hersey's Symphony. Almond Joys. Reese's Pieces. Tootsie Pop. Twizzlers. PayDays. Gummy Worms. Whatchamacallits. Dum Dum Pops. Gummy Bears. Swedish Fish. Nestlé Crunch. Three Musketeers. M&Ms. Twix. Milk duds. Mike and Ike's. Milk Maids. Peeps. Butterfingers. Jelly Beans. Starburst. Hersey's Kisses.”
“Wow, you know your candy,” Bucky said in amazement when Clint stopped to catch his breath
Hawkeye's face broke out in one of characteristic smirks. “Thanks, but seriously, you guys haven't any chocolate candy at all?”
Steve looked to Bucky for a moment then back to Clint with an apologetic look on his face. “I’m afraid not. Sorry, Clint but when we were going up, we really didn't have a lot of chocolate candy. Even though a Hersey's bar was only five cents, for us, it might as well cost a whole dollar.”
“And besides, we had other things to worry about besides candy,” Bucky exclaimed as he reached over and gave Steve's hand a gently squeeze as he recalled all the times Steve came within inches of death.
“But that's not to say we went our whole lives without having a chocolate bar. Every year at Christmas, Father Cook gave each of the kids at church a Hersey bar as a present.”
“Along with a nice fresh orange as well,” Bucky said recalling the memory.
“So what about now?” Clint asked. “I mean, you both got money. If you ask him to, I'm sure Tony would buy you two your own candy store. Hell, he would buy the Hersey's company of you asked him to”
Steve chuckled. “I'm sure he would and we do get the occasional chocolate bar now and again but we just prefer hardy candy.”
“Especially since we can keep it in the pockets of our uniforms and we don't have to worry about it melting and making a mess,” Bucky added.
Clint rolled his eyes. “I guess this means I have to hide a candy stash on your floor now.”
“If it would make you feel better, we do have some chocolate chip cookies that Pepper brought by earlier today-” Steve managed to get out before Hawkeye let out a high pitch squeal of joy. After candy, the man had a great love for chocolate chip cookies.
“Well what are you waiting for Cap? Go get them.”
“Alright, alright,” Steve told him as he got up and pulled James up with him. “You wait here and we'll go get the cookies and milk.”
“Chocolate chip cookies and milk? Jackpot!” Clint exclaimed as he fist bumped the air.
Both men silently chucked to themselves. When they got the kitchen, Steve went about getting the cookies while Bucky got the milk and poured three glasses.
“Hey,” Steve said to Bucky in a low voice, “you did make sure to hide the candy somewhere he wouldn't find them right?
“Of course,” Bucky answered with a sly smile. “The candy bars are in the empty Raisin Bran box in the cupboard, the peanut butter cups and the rest of it is hidden in the Tupperware container in the panty in the potato bin.
“Good,” Steve replied as he wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders and gave him a light kiss on the lips. “I love Clint but I like my chocolate too.”
“Funny, I thought you had a thing for peppermint sticks?”
“Only yours, babe.”
“Well then,” Bucky said as he wrapped his arms around Steve's waist, “how about tonight I let you have a lick?”
“God, I love to lick your peppermint stick, Barnes,” Steve said before he started to kiss Bucky again.
Their kiss soon turned into a long passionate one. Soon they were lost in the sweet sensation of one another’s kiss and their hands started to roam over their bodies. Just as Steve was ready to lift Bucky up and place him in the edge of the counter, Clint walked in.
“Hey, you guys need any-Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Old people making out! Old people making out! Old people making out!” Clint continued to cry out as he ran out of the kitchen.
Steve and Bucky broke apart and just smiled as they listened to Clint cries about how old people were not supposed to make out like a pair of horny teenagers.