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It starts out pretty reasonably. The competition between him and Kageyama has never died, never will, despite the fact that they're across the world from each other. In order to keep up with the sports news, to keep up with Kageyama, Hinata had parted with a heavy percentage of his incredibly meager savings and funds in order to subscribe to getting physical copies of Japan Times. The cost of shipping a magazine across the world is horrendously expensive, but it’s worth it. Reading things online has never really worked out for him, and their rivalry deserves more than just a webpage. It deserves the full works, full articles, double spread pages.
Hinata had known that Kageyama would join the Schweiden Adlers right out of high school - he’d been there when Kageyama had gotten the notification, had celebrated with him, had been faced with Kageyama’s smug smug look questioning what he was going to do next. But the full reality of Kageyama joining the Adlers hits him with the first magazine of Japan Time Volleyball he gets.
The article gushes about the promising new setter joining the team, how Kageyama Tobio’s helped Karasuno reach nationals three times in a row, even winning third place in their last year. Which - is true. Even if Hinata thinks that the reporter’s unfairly ignoring everyone else on the team. Kageyama can’t be a setter, spiker, and blocker all at once (he didn’t even want to be the only player anymore after first year!). Him, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, the second years, the firsties, all contributed a lot to climb up to nationals.
Hinata ignores the spike of indignation from the article to focus on the single page spread of Kageyama in his new uniform. He looks good. The white and gold uniform suits him, even if it does look weird after seeing him wear a black uniform for three years. The new uniform cements how different their paths are - Kageyama’s in a top Div 1 volleyball team now, playing with the best players in Japan, and he’s in Brazil, still learning and struggling to find his place on the sand.
He wants what Kageyama has. He wants to stand on the same playing field as him. He wants to play against him and win.
As motivation, Hinata carefully tears out the spread of Kageyama in his uniform and tapes it against the wall of his room. Every time he sees Kageyama in his new uniform, he’ll be fired up, ready to work even harder to reach him.
It’s a good plan.
You see, while Hinata doesn’t need the external motivation to work his ass off and get good at beach volleyball, get better at the basics, having external motivation is really really nice. And it’s hardly his fault if he gets riled up every time Kageyama stars in a volleyball magazine. How can he not when there’s articles about him joining the 2016 national team, where he’s posing with his red uniform, surrounded by other amazing players like Ushijima? How can he not when there’s an amazing photo of Kageyama serving, the tiniest frown on his face as he concentrates on nailing the serve? (Which, he had - a no touch service ace that set the tone of the rest of the match.)
His method of motivating himself works. He’s getting better and better at staying stable on the sand, jumping up with explosive strength to hit tosses, accounting for all the external factors that appear in beach volleyball that don’t in regular volleyball.
But. He might have a problem.
Hinata doesn’t realize it until he finally manages to worm his way into making friends with Pedro, bonding over shounen manga and learning new languages. He invites Pedro into his room, because he knows that finding the volumes of Eyeshield 21 in the clutter of his still not fully unpacked luggage is going to be difficult, and tells him to feel free to look at anything on the shelves. Which is mostly volleyball magazines that he’s accumulated over the time he’s been in Brazil.
He’s in the middle of digging through his suitcases and clothes, and has just managed to find the volume of Eyeshield 21 when “Uhhh, you sure like collecting pictures of this dude,” comes from behind him, Pedro sounding uncertain and bemused.
Hinata looks up, and sees Pedro staring at the spreads of Kageyama on the wall, and realizes that, huh, somehow over the few months in Brazil, he’s managed to accumulate enough pictures of Kageyama to fully cover an entire wall.
“He’s my rival?” Hinata weakly offers up in response. It’s… probably not normal, now that he thinks of it. Even if Kageyama is his rival, maybe their rivalry doesn’t deserve a full wall dedicated to it.
“Yeah, sure…” Pedro says. They share a glance and Pedro slowly backs out of his room, Hinata following after him. The look promises that they’ll never speak of this happening, and Pedro will continue on pretending that Hinata is a friendly, normal guy while Hinata will have to live with the shame and embarrassment of exposing someone to his obsessive rivalry. Because that’s what it is. A rivalry that deserves all of his attention and dedication.
After the incident, Hinata tries to tell himself to take down the wall of pictures, to instead focus on the important ones - Kageyama in the Japanese national team uniform, Kageyama in the Schweiden Adlers uniform. Except he gets distracted from the task when a Japan Sports Magazine comes in, and it gushes about Kageyama landing three service aces against an Italian team, and there’s another intense photo of Kageyama in it. That photo also deserves to live on his wall, and Hinata finds himself gently tearing it out and putting it on a new wall, the old wall already too full of pictures, the thought of taking down some pictures completely forgotten.
So. He has maybe a minor problem. Especially at the end of his stay in Brazil, when Hinata finds that he’s plastered all four walls with photos of Kageyama. And he can’t bear to throw out any of them for his move back to Japan, because they all serve as fantastic motivation for his drive to get better at volleyball.
But the problem is only a problem if other people see the photos. If they don’t then he will continue being known as a normal (hopefully great) volleyball player with a small rivalry with Kageyama.
Everything’s fine and will remain fine. The only thing that isn’t fine is that he’ll have to get a bigger apartment in Japan than the room he has in Brazil because he’s out of wall space and has new photos of Kageyama that he needs to put up to serve as motivation.
Okay. Everything is not fine. Some things are better than others - he’s made it into the MSBY Black Jackals team, which is fantastic, because he’s now starting at the same level as Kageyama. There’s even Bokuto and Atsumu on the team as well! And there’s promises of many many matches with the Schweiden Adlers, both practice and official.
What is not fine is that the MSBY Black Jackals have the requirement of their members living in the dorms unless married.
Hinata’s seen the dorms, was given a tour when he first got notification of his acceptance into the team. It’s honestly pretty good accommodation, much larger than the room he had in Brazil. Plenty of wall space to put up his pictures. The location is great as well, near downtown and near the gym.
What’s not great is that everyone else lives in the dorms. Don’t get him wrong, he has nothing against Atsumu, Bokuto, and everyone else on the team. But it’s the teensiest bit dangerous that his team has so many people who know him and Kageyama, and exuberant people who wouldn’t hesitate to barge into his room for anything important.
It’ll make it difficult to keep his collection of motivational pictures secret. Because that’s what they are and will remain. Even if there are softer shots of Kageyama in his collection now, ripped from gossip mags that he stumbled upon in Brazil, shots that have almost nothing to do with volleyball. Shots that he hadn’t plastered on the walls of his room in Brazil due to the lack of space and the niggling feeling that maybe they don’t really count as motivational photos.
But he’s not about to reject a chance to join a Div 1 team and become proper rivals with Kageyama. He’ll find a way to work around everything. Like making sure his door is always closed and locked tight.
His plan to just keep his door shut and locked and hope no one barges in works. One month, then two months pass by with no incident, and Hinata gradually relaxes his vigilance. Bokuto and Atsumu, the two he had worried about the most in terms of being intrusive, are actually incredibly respectful of his space and privacy. Or maybe it’s more that they don’t want to enter his room for fear of him being an awful slob. Because he’s seen their rooms in glimpses, and it’s kind of gross, the way that there are dirty clothes piled up in a corner, wrappers from protein bars on the table, and so much mess. Maybe he gives off the aura of being even worse? Who knows, but they leave his room (which is neat and tidy - his mom would be so disappointed if it was otherwise) alone, which he appreciates.
He gets complacent. All it takes is for a Sports Graph Number issue featuring Kageyama on the front page to come through the mail. Hinata snatches the magazine from the pile of MSBY Black Jackals mail, and darts off towards his room, ready to rifle through it and zero in on the Kageyama article.
It’s filled with praise and gushing, like most of the articles about Kageyama. Something about Schweiden Adlers again beating out all the other Div 1 teams for the third time in a row, and how Kageyama’s serves and perfect tosses were integral to making that happen. How the synergy between Kageyama and Ushijima and Hoshiumi is stunning. Something in his stomach twists, and Hinata wants to be the one in that magazine. He wants to be known as the player who has the most synergy with Kageyama. He was, and always will be, but the world doesn’t know it just yet.
Hinata pushes down the feeling. This is less about him, and more about Kageyama, about how reading about his accomplishments will drive him to be better, to get better. He flips the page, and there’s a stunning shot of Kageyama at the peak of his serve, cheeks puffed out in concentration, eyes wild, with a glint that says that he knows the serve is going to be perfect. He just. Looks.
A knock sounds, once, twice, but Hinata barely registers it, far too focused on greedily taking in Kageyama on the page. How can he have any attention spare for anything else in the world when there’s Kageyama in front of him, immortalized on the glossy pages of a magazine, looking the best he can while playing volleyball?
The door creaks, but Hinata ignores it, gaze lasered onto the way Kageyama’s arms are tensed in the photo, the way that the sweat on him makes him shine and gleam in the lighting of the gym.
“Hinata, Meian said - Huh.”
Shit. Hinata whirls around to see Sakusa standing in the doorway, taking in the way that there’s almost no white space left on the walls, each one plastered with pictures of Kageyama.
“I - uh - can…”
Sakusa fully enters the room, shutting the door behind him. “I knew you had a… thing for Kageyama, considering how much you stare at his photos whenever a magazine comes in. I didn’t know it was this much, though.” He looks over the rest of the collection, his eyes landing on the glossy poster of Kageyama in the Japanese national team uniform holding a volleyball in his hands, intensely staring at it.
“It’s not a thing! It’s a rivalry!” Hinata protests weakly. It’s not wrong of him to use Kageyama as motivation to work harder and get better, even if he recognizes that it looks bad that all of his walls are covered by pictures of Kageyama. He’s trailing after him in their win and loss count, and he needs the extra boost in vigor that he gets whenever he sees his smug, stupid face in the photos when he wakes up or enters the room.
“Mhm, that’s what I thought of Wakatoshi initially.” Sakusa hums thoughtfully. “You have a pretty extensive collection. Better than mine.”
Sakusa has a collection of Kageyama? Something flashes hot in his mind, but Hinata shakes his head to clear the thought. No, that’s not right. It must be of Ushijima. Sakusa’s never been that interested in Kageyama.
“You know, it turns out that I didn’t really need mine once I started seeing Wakatoshi,” Sakusa offers up, a pitying look on his face. “Anyways, I was going to tell you that Meian wanted us in the common room for a team meeting.
Hinata stands there as Sakusa leaves and shuts the door. He hadn’t known that Sakusa and Ushijima were dating. And did Sakusa try implying that he had a… crush on Kageyama? That can’t be right. Maybe Sakusa meant that he didn't need external motivation once he had started interacting with Ushijima in person.
But he doesn’t have time to think about what Sakusa said. There’s a meeting he needs to run to, and based on the timing, Hinata bets that it’s probably for the announcement of the first official match of the season.
Hinata’s skin feels tight, like he can’t contain himself within it. Their first match of the season, his first official match with MSBY Black Jackals, is against Schweiden Adlers, against Kageyama. He’s ready, but not really ready for it, for seeing Kageyama, for playing against him.
It’s been two years. Two years of following the news, two years of feeding his rivalry against him with magazines and pictures, two years of never seeing him in person and only receiving rare one off texts. And suddenly, being told that he’ll be seeing him in ten days is too soon.
Will Kageyama have changed? Will Kageyama still have kept count of their wins and losses?
Hinata wobbles his way back to his room after dealing with the enthusiasm that Bokuto and Atsumu display at playing against the Schweiden Adlers, and shuts the door behind him before collapsing onto his bed. The glimpses of Kageyama on his walls are too much right now, and he presses his hands against his eyes, focusing on the darkness with his eyes closed. Inhale for four seconds, exhale for one. He needs to breathe. He needs to calm down.
It’s not that he’s scared of the prospect of seeing Kageyama again. Hinata just supposes that he hadn’t been prepared to hear that it’d be so soon. He thought he’d be given more time, more official matches to get used to MSBY Black Jackals, to hitting Atsumu’s tosses. He feels grossly unprepared, despite preparing for two years in Brazil, despite the months preparing with his new team.
His mind just keeps getting stuck, and he can feel himself beginning to spiral. Hinata inhales deeply and then slaps his cheeks, hard, cheeks and palms stinging in the aftermath. It’s not like him to be worried. He’s grown out of the nervousness and fear he had in first year in high school.
He rolls onto his side to stare straight at the very first picture of Kageyama he ever got, the one of him in his white and gold uniform, determined look in his eyes, youthful aura still clinging to him.
That’s the Kageyama he’s going to face. And this time, he’s going to win.
For all that he had meditated and cleared his mind and made sure to sleep really well before the match started, never wanting to repeat the mistakes of his first year at Nationals, Hinata still wants to jump out of his skin when he walks into the gym, the smell of icy hot Salonpas not soothing him like it normally does.
“Y’know, you look worse now than you did durin’ nationals.” Atsumu slings an arm around him, making Hinata jump slightly. “What’s up with that? Don’t tell me you’re gonna be a scrub ‘bout this.”
Hinata breathes. “I’m still going to play my best, I wouldn’t let anything get in the way of that.” He pauses, trying to put into words what he’s actually feeling. “It’s just… odd, being back.” And maybe he is a little nervous, his bladder twinging a bit, reminiscent of his early high school days. “But I’ll get over it.”
Atsumu laughs. “You better,” he says, slapping Hinata on the back. “Cause I’m gonna make you look super cool on the court, ‘nd I can’t do that if you’re gonna pass out from fear.”
“Hey! That has never happened before,” Hinata protests. The worst thing that he’s ever done is puke on Tanaka’s pants. Which was still pretty bad, but not to the extent of fainting from nerves. “But, thanks.” The slight tension and anxiety he had felt upon entering the gym is now gone, driven away by outlandish imaginings of scenarios that would never happen.
“Yeah, Hinata! You have nothing to worry about, especially with me on the court!”
Hinata wheezes and stumbles as he’s crushed by the sudden weight of Bokuto jumping on him. “T-thanks,” he manages to get out, just barely holding out from toppling to the ground and taking Bokuto with him.
“Ugh, Bokkun, get offa him.” Atsumu shoves at Bokuto, pushing him away from Hinata and saving them from a collapse. “You better not injure yourself ‘nd him before the match.”
“Awww, Tsum-Tsum, I didn’t know you cared!” Bokuto flings himself at Atsumu, and Hinata takes the chance to very rapidly walk to the restrooms, the twinge in his bladder becoming a full blown desire to pee. He ignores the shouts of “Shouyou-kun, help me you traitor!” and “Stop it Bokkun!” He’s sure that Meian or Sakusa can handle them while he handles his totally not nervous bladder. It’s just good practice to empty your bladder before a match.
Once he’s away from the exuberance of Atsumu and Bokuto, Hinata’s relieved to find that the pressure in his bladder really isn’t because of nerves. The emptiness and silence of the hallway gives him leeway to think about other things. Like Kageyama and his smug face. The bathroom song slips out of him as he begins to think of Kageyama and their rivalry. It would be so so sweet to one up him in his debut match today, just to show him how much he’s missed out on.
“Not gonna have bowel issues today, are you?”
Hinata stops. He knows that voice. He turns and stares.
Kageyama looks - good. The pictures from the magazines barely do him justice. There’s the confidence he holds himself with that the photos only somewhat manage to capture, the smirk Kageyama has just for him, the unspoken challenge in his eyes. Hinata had known, objectively, that Kageyama had grown up, looked different in the pictures compared to his memory of their high school days. But seeing him in person hits differently. Seeing him in person makes him realize just how much Kageyama’s shoulders have filled out, jawline sharpened. Less like a childish king, and more like a confident ruler.
Hinata realizes with horror and startling clarity that Kageyama is actually handsome .
The shocking realization that Kageyama is attractive does nothing to throw him off his game during the match, which is good. It’d be a real damper if he had lost his debut match because of that . But, they win.
The satisfaction of winning his debut match against Kageyama feels like light, sparkling bubbles that keep him floaty and extra cheery the next couple of days. It had been incredibly satisfying coming back and winning his debut match against Kageyama. A win to bring him even closer and even to Kageyama in their win-lose count and to tell the world that he’s here. His jumps and spikes during practice afterwards feel fantastic, like he can jump to even higher heights, see even better at the apex of his jump, like the happiness of winning is boosting him up.
It makes him think that maybe he doesn’t really need Kageyama’s pictures anymore, now that he can see him in person again and eke out more wins against him.
That proves to be false.
For once, a magazine featuring him arrives in the mail. It’s technically the team’s subscription, but Hinata calls first dibs on it as the one featured. He quickly flips it to his article (and what a concept that is!) reading out choice parts to the rest of the team crowded in the common room such as ‘The newcomer Hinata Shouyou made his absolutely stunning debut on the court with his fantastic digs and spikes.’ and ‘This promising player took an unconventional route by going to Brazil to play beach volleyball, which worked out fantastically for him.’ It’s not a needed ego boost, but it certainly is a welcome one. It’s nice having other people acknowledge that he is a good volleyball player.
Once he reaches the mention of Kageyama, Hinata falls silent.
‘Kageyama Tobio, the setter from Schweiden Adlers and former high school teammate of Hinata, stated that he was glad he was back in Japan. Despite his loss, he said that playing against Hinata pushes him to greater heights and he was looking forward to playing many more matches against him.’
It aches that there’s only quotes from Kageyama and mentions of him. He wants to see his face, see his expression when he said those words. Did he have a look of determination? Pride? Confidence?
Suddenly, the 2.5 hour shinkansen between Osaka and Tokyo feels far too long. What’s the point of it if he can’t immediately see Kageyama? At least magazines can give him instant gratification with photos of him. But this one doesn’t even do so.
“Hey Shouyou-kun, you gonna keep goin’?” Atsumu asks, jarring Hinata out of his thoughts.
“Yeah, yeah, I will. Just got stuck on this bit about Kageyama. Feels really good reading about how much he thinks I’m a good player now, you know?” Hinata awkwardly laughs, pushing away the lonely feeling to continue reading out choice passages from the magazine. It’s easier to bask in the feeling of success than think about what’s lacking and why it’s lacking.
That’s what he tells himself at least, but when the next morning comes and Hinata goes on his morning jog, he finds himself at a bookstore instead of continuing on his normal route. He sifts through the newest sports issues of different magazines, most of them featuring him. But that’s not what he wants.
He finally finds a single issue that promises an exclusive interview with Kageyama. A quick skim does show a shot of Kageyama on the bench, so Hinata whisks it away, tucking it in the crook of his arm as he dashes back to the dorms. If he misses the morning meeting because of this additional excursion, Coach Foster will not be particularly pleased.
Hinata draws a couple questioning looks as he skids into the common room, barely on time for the meeting. Thankfully the meeting doesn’t really cover anything important, just news about their upcoming match against the Tachibana Red Falcons- which spikes a flash of interest in him. There’s Ojiro Aran, the ace from Inarizaki, and that one super tall outside hitter from Kamomedai. Familiar and less familiar faces from high school, except thinking about high school leads him to start dwelling on Kageyama and the magazine he’s still clutching, and everything else from the rest of the meeting starts to fade out.
“-alright, you’re dismissed. We’ll have a more in-depth morning meeting tomorrow going over the Tachibana Red Falcons’ team strategies.”
At the dismissal, Hinata wants to dart out of the common room to retreat to the privacy of his own room to pore through the magazine, but “Hinata, Wakatoshi said that his team was coming to Osaka for a match.” stops him short. It takes a second to process the words, but his brain faithfully makes the connection. Ushijima team visit -> Kageyama visit, and suddenly his interest in the magazine he’s holding plummets.
“How’d you know and when?” Hinata blurts out, mouth working before his brain. That earns him a withering glare from Sakusa - which, fair. Sakusa had told him that he and Ushijima were dating, so it makes sense that they keep in contact. More than him and Kageyama, at least.
“They’re coming on Saturday, their match is on Sunday. We were going to go for food and drinks afterwards.”
Oh. That’s actually perfect timing. Their match against the Tachibana Red Falcons is on Thursday, so they’ll be back in Osaka in time to watch their match. And Monday is their free day, so there won’t be any issues with drinking on Sunday night. This is earlier than he had expected to see Kageyama again.
“Are you going to join?” Sakusa asks, nary an impatient or exasperated look on his face. Which is odd, because Hinata feels like those are his default expressions. Maybe it’s because he’s talking to him and not Atsumu or Bokuto?
“Yeah, of course-”
“Oh, oh, the Adlers are coming?!” Hinata grunts as Bokuto slings his arm around him. There’s the familiar look of exasperation on Sakusa’s face again, and maybe he also feels a little bit of it too no matter how much he likes Bokuto. “I wanna come too!”
“... Fantastic, “ Sakusa mutters underneath his breath.
“What’d you say?” Bokuto’s voice is loud, and draws the rest of the team’s attention. Hinata supposes it might as well be a meet up between the entirety of the two teams now that Bokuto’s around. Though he’s not going to complain, since he’ll be seeing Kageyama regardless. Sakusa must very much feel otherwise, especially with the way he’s hunching over.
Hinata lifts Bokuto’s arm from around his shoulder. “Thanks for the invite, Sakusa,” he says as he retreats from the common room, avoiding the crowding that is about to occur thanks to Bokuto. “Give us the details later?”
“Fine,” Sakusa spits out, looking dead from the approach of the rest of their teammates. “I suppose I’ll send it to the team chat.”
Hinata swiftly makes his way to his room to read his magazine, making sure to lock the door behind him as he enters. Even if he is going to see Kageyama within the week, it’s not like he’s right in front of him right now. So he might as well take the edge off his restlessness by looking at the picture of Kageyama on the bench in the magazine, even if something within him has mostly settled with the promise of the visit.
The rush of excitement that he gets from winning a match sticks with Hinata for days, leaving him bouncing in his seat on the way back from the match against the Tachibana Red Falcons all the way to the restlessness he feels upon entering the gym that’s hosting the Schweiden Adlers game. The energy within the audience feeds him, and he feels the expected desire to move and get down to the court and play. But it’s not his turn anymore. It’s Kageyama’s.
“Settle down, will you?” Sakusa grumbles as Hinata shifts in his seat in the stadium yet again.
“Sorry, it’s just,” Hinata breaks off, gaze drawn by the announcement of Kageyama entering the court. Kageyama’s posture is full of confidence, like always, and he swears that he catches his eyes, and the tiny smile? smirk? that appears on his face is directed towards him.
“You’re too ready to simp for Kageyama,” Sakusa mutters underneath his breath.
“Sorry, what?” Hinata redirects his attention to Sakusa, just barely hearing a mention of Kageyama. “I didn’t catch that.”
“... It’s nothing,” Sakusa says.
Hinata looks at Sakusa. It is quite normal for him to grumble a bit, so he shrugs it off to focus back on the court. They’re preparing to throw the signed miniature volleyballs, and hope ignites within him that - and nope. Kageyama has thrown it far far away from him, and there’s no way he can fly halfway across the stadium to snatch the ball. It is better to leave it for the kids, even if he wants one really badly and isn’t willing to ask him for an autographed version. He knows if he does that, Kageyama’s just going to stand there with that smug look on his handsome face and lord it over him.
The match begins, and Hinata’s immediately drawn into it, eyes riveted on the court, taking in how good everyone is. Especially Kageyama, with his high precision sets that are finally tailored perfectly to his spiker’s desires. Watching Kageyama play in person, from the spectator stands, watching everyone else on his team hit those sets, makes his hands tense. He wants to be on the team, hitting those tosses. There’s something fantastic about playing against Kageyama and winning, but there’s something divine about playing with Kageyama and hitting his tosses.
He misses the satisfaction and the giddiness that he always got whenever hitting a minus tempo set and watching the ball blast past the opponents’ defenses.
The match ends 3-2, in favor of the Schweiden Adlers, with everyone jumping on Hoshiumi for landing the last point. It’s a close match, as Div 1 volleyball games tend to be, and there had been a period in the 4th set where the Schweiden Adlers had struggled to get past the blockers. But they had pulled through, showing why they had been the top team for three years in a running. (Until he came along, Hinata’s mind supplies slyly. He’s going to try his best to make sure that the MSBY Black Jackals beat out the Schweiden Adlers again and again.)
Hinata fidgets in his seat, watching as reporters start crowding around the Schweiden Adlers, thrusting microphones in their faces. He wants to vault his way down the audience seating to the court and gush to Kageyama how his dump in the last set had sent absolute shivers up his spine. But the reporters always take ages to talk with the players. At the very least, he hopes that the length of time the reporters take is justified by them managing to capture the smirk that had appeared on Kageyama’s face after his dump, to be immortalized in a magazine. He wants the capture, because if he can’t see it in the rare times when Kageyama does one when playing against him or with him, it can at least stay spread out on his walls, another 100% totally legitimate way to boost his motivation.
The ping of a text message to his right distracts him from his focus on the Schweiden Adlers and the throng of reporters, and Hinata turns just in time to catch the faintest smile crinkle and soften Sakusa’s eyes. That moment rapidly disappears as Sakusa looks up and sees him staring, his expression smoothing out to his normal, neutral default.
“Wakatoshi said that his team will be done with the interviews soon. They’ll meet us at the izakaya near our place at 5:30 pm.”
Hinata perks up. It’s only going to be 40 minutes, which honestly feels like an eternity to him when all he wants to do is immediately go down to go ‘Gwah!’ at Kageyama for his stunning, infuriating dump. But, 40 minutes is nothing compared to the two years he had spent in Brazil, never able to actually see Kageyama in person. He can wait.
And well, it gives him time to maybe clean up a little bit. Which, he shoves that bit out of his head. Because why in the world would he want to meet with the Schweiden Adlers clean and dressed up? No, it’s just because he’s feeling grateful towards Sakusa for organizing this meetup, and it would be nicer for him if he was just that bit cleaner and less likely to be a germy, sweaty mess from the crowding within the audience.
Hinata’s glad he rushed to the dorms to freshen up a bit. When most of the Schweiden Adlers members file into the izakaya, there’s the distinctive eucalyptus scent of locker room gel - which he’ll take over the smell of sweat lingering from the match. It’d be a little shameful to be the one smelling like sweat and nerves and excitement at this… reunion? get together? from watching their match and waiting in anticipation of meeting everyone again.
Except Kageyama’s not here yet, even after Hinata cranes his neck to see past the massive, massive wall of players. There’s also the distinctive lack of Ushijima and Hoshiumi, and he ignores the ear splitting sound of Bokuto shouting a greeting to the others to give a quizzical look at Sakusa. Which gains him an eyeroll and a quick muttering of “Hoshiumi went to make sure Ushijima and Kageyama didn’t get lost.”
Which is fair. Kageyama never was particularly good with directions outside of his preset routine, especially with his inability to use a smartphone, and he had heard rumors that Ushijima was the same. And the dynamics of the match afterwards had shown how Hoshiumi was the wrangler of the two.
“Do you know where they are?” Hinata asks before he’s distracted by the sight of Romero giving Atsumu a full-bodied hug and a kiss on his cheeks. That’s not fair. He wants to be on the receiving end of that.
Sakusa silently points towards the door, and the mild envy Hinata was feeling towards Atsumu disappears in favor of a clench of envy towards Hoshiumi from Kageyama looking down at him with a blank look on his face. That should be his position.
“Ka-”
“Tobio-kun! You made it here alive!”
Atsumu cuts him off, standing up to grab Kageyama by the wrist to drag him to an open seat next to him. Hinata pouts. Rude.
“Osaka is safe though?” Kageyama tilts his head.
“You’re such a riot, Tobio-kun.” Atsumu laughs, pounding him on the back. “It’s a figure of speech.” Kageyama gives him a blank look.
“A figure of speech is a word or phrase used in a non-literal sense for rhetorical or vivid effect. Atsumu-san used it correctly,” Ushijima says, as he shuffles his way past the crowd of players, further into the table, to find a seat across Sakusa. “Kiyoomi.” He nods towards him, giving him a small smile that softens his features.
“Don’t make it even more confusing for Kageyama,” Hoshiumi scolds as he plops down into the seat next to Kageyama. “Hey Hinata, I heard you all won against the Tachibana Red Falcons. How was Hakuba during the match?”
Kageyama perks up. “The tall one on your team who did a double jump to block? He’s gotten even taller since then, right?”
And there’s Kageyama, ordinarily awful with faces and names, but with a mind as tight as a steel trap when it comes to volleyball and its players. “Yeah, Hakuba’s still suuuuper tall!” Hinata says, flashing back to the way Hakuba had towered over him in the match. “He’s gotten a lot more kablam since high school!” Not that he hadn’t been impressive with his height and offense back then, but he’s much more refined in technique now.
“Good.” Hoshiumi leans back against his seat and nods. “Putting that height to good use.”
“What’s his vertical reach?” Kageyama asks, a sparkle in his eye. “How much higher can he jump now?”
Hinata wants to frown, but doesn’t. He shouldn’t be feeling like this on one of his rare chances, his second ever after Brazil, to see Kageyama in person. But it stings ever so slightly that he’s so interested in someone so much taller than him - and no. He shakes his head minutely. He can’t think like this. He’s proved himself by making it onto a Div 1 team and beating out Kageyama’s team on his first match. He’s made his peace with his height, and he works with it as much as he can, just like every other player works to utilize their height. Kageyama’s desire to toss to good players of all heights includes him as well, even if his current interest is in someone tall.
Hinata catches the odd glance that Atsumu throws at him but ignores it to say, “Yeah, he can jump really, really high, higher than before! But we got the timing down to shut him out, like Tsukishima always did.” That’s right. With the blockers on the team and his receives, handling Hakuba, and even handling Aran, hadn’t quite been a cinch, but certainly doable. Enough for a win.
“Hinata, it’s your turn to order.” Sakusa cuts in.
Hinata gladly takes the chance Sakusa’s given him to stop dwelling on Kageyama’s overwhelming desire to have more and more extraordinary players to toss to and redirect his thoughts toward the promise of food. “I thought we were getting food for the table?” Hinata asks, his stomach making a small rumble.
“Yes, but not drinks, unless you want to drink from the pitcher of oolong high.”
Hinata’s nose wrinkles at the prospect of oolong high. Not that it’s bad, but Brazil had ruined him for anything that wasn’t sweet and fruity. It’s a shame that a lot of Japanese bars and izakayas don’t carry cachaça and rarely have tropical fruits to make cocktails with. “A cassis grape for me, then. Are you all going to drink?”
“Nah, not me. I’m gonna head back to our hotel in a bit for a call.”
“Milk punch for me, please.”
Hinata briefly gawks at Kageyama. That had been… unexpected. Somehow, the thought of Kageyama actually wanting to drink had never occurred to him. But, he supposes the choice of milk punch makes sense. After all, Kageyama has always loved milk and yogurt.
“Stop looking at me like that, dumbass,” Kageyama grumbles, side eyeing Hinata. “I can drink if I want to.”
“Yeah, but make sure he doesn’t drink too much,” says Hoshiumi. “He’s pretty lightweight.” Kageyama pouts, but doesn’t protest, so it must be true.
Hinata wants to say something, but the first plates of food arrive, and he’s quickly distracted by the mad scramble for the meat. Falling into battle over food with Kageyama and others is a nostalgic throwback to Karasuno days, even if it is noisier than it ever had been with Tanaka and Nishinoya around. Even though Ushijima and Sakusa are calm and quiet, Atsumu and Hoshiumi combined are loud. Not to mention, the laughter and conversation coming from Meian and Hirugami and the others.
In between sips of his cassis grape and bites of his food, Hinata takes the chance to watch Kageyama eat. It’s a familiar sight, the way that he stuffs his cheeks with food, though the addition of white foam above his lips from his drink is certainly new. Kageyama never did get foam mustaches, always preferring to drink his milk with a straw in Karasuno. And there’s Hoshiumi, the handler, nudging Kageyama to pass him a napkin to wipe his mouth. Kind of like Suga in that sense.
Being around so many people outside of his team is reminiscent of summer camps, and Hinata takes the chance to bask in the energy and atmosphere of the two teams. There’s friendly ribbing all around, and he catches sight of Meian and Hirugami starting to arm wrestle, biceps straining as they each try to force the other’s hand down. Hirugami loses, but he pulls over Ushijima to arm wrestle in place of him. Ushijima wins handily, but that prompts an arm wrestling war amongst everyone.
Hinata gladly participates, barely eking out a win against Sokolov, but losing against Romero, both from the lack of strength and the thrill from actually clasping his idol’s hand. But the giddiness of worship leaves him when he looks up to see his next opponent is Kageyama, that smug look in his eyes as he clenches his fist and his forearm flexes. Something else shoots up Hinata’s spine as he stares straight into Kageyama’s eyes and grips his hand tight.
On the count of three, Hinata strains against Kageyama’s hand, managing to force it down two, three inches, just barely making it hover against the table. It’s more strength and energy than he had put in against Sokolov and Romero, but Kageyama has always had a way of making him try even harder. But Kageyama’s hand just hovers there, and Hinata’s filled with dismay as slowly, ever so slowly, Kageyama’s hand rises higher and higher, until it’s his hand just hovering right above the table.
Hinata flexes his biceps even harder, making Kageyama’s hand budge just an inch, but the burst of energy costs him as his muscles spasm, and Kageyama takes advantage of it to slam his hand down on the table.
“I win,” says Kageyama, a triumphant look in his eyes. “That makes it 1,101 wins versus 1,096 losses.”
“I’ll win next time,” Hinata promises, looking straight at Kageyama.
For a moment, it feels like it’s just the two of them in the izakaya, the sounds of everyone else fading out into the background. But Bokuto barges in with “I call next match against Kageyama!!”, making the electric tension snap away.
Hinata reluctantly slides out of his seat to cede it to Bokuto, moving away to the side line to watch Bokuto grasp onto Kageyama’s hand and swiftfully push it down as they compete. But it doesn’t fill him with the same gut clenching twinge he had experienced when seeing Hoshiumi next to him, when hearing about his interest in Hakuba. Something within him had settled with that single arm wrestling match. Something within him had settled upon feeling the warmth of Kageyama’s hand pressed against his.
Hinata forgoes other arm wrestling matches in favor of getting another drink and sipping at it as he watches Kageyama go through more matches and interact with everyone else. He wants to cling onto the warmth of his hand. Kageyama’s grown, in a sense. He can actually interact with others without being a socially awkward mess with awful timing - not that he still isn’t, but it’s better. But there’s still qualities that remain the same - his competitiveness, his respect towards those older than him, and his ability to somehow get others to like him despite his general crabbiness and awkwardness. It’s... nice, being able to settle down and just mentally update his view of Kageyama, even if his silence is making Sakusa and Atsumu send him concerned glances every now and then.
Hoshiumi is the first to leave, citing his call, and gradually, others start to disperse and trickle out. Meian and Hirugami are next, something to do with a meeting with the coaches in the early morning, then Tomas and Barnes. The quietness of the remaining people at the gathering, though different from the earlier rambunctiousness, is still nice, and it affords more peace for Hinata to keep looking at Kageyama. The warmth from the alcohol makes him bolder, less likely to dart glances at Kageyama, and more likely to just stare.
He’s not leaving before Kageyama, even if it isn’t a competition to see who can stay the longest at the izakaya. Not when he can take the time to make up for two missed years worth of Kageyama’s presence.
Eventually, the rest of the Schweiden Adlers leave in a large group, leaving behind Ushijima and Kageyama. As the group leaves, Hinata vaguely registers them mentioning the last train, but puts it out of his mind in favor of watching Kageyama slowly and steadily drink away at the remnants of the pitcher of oolong high while Atsumu talks at him. Whatever Hoshiumi said about Kageyama being a lightweight seems untrue - other than the slight red blush on his cheeks, he looks and talks like he’s completely normal.
Until they all stand up to leave the izakaya when the waiter tells them it’s the last call for food and drinks. Kageyama remains seated, just giving them a confused look.
Ushijima sighs, clearly used to this state of things. “Kageyama-kun, stand up. It is time to leave.”
Kageyama stands, but immediately latches on to the closest body next to him, Atsumu. Hinata’s never seen him so pliant and clingy. It’s different. And cute.
“I apologize, Atsumu-san. I was not watching Kageyama-kun’s intake of alcohol and failed to notice that it was far past the last train. Would you mind housing him for the night?”
Atsumu perks up. “I mean, sure! I can-”
“No. Atsumu’s room is a pigsty.” Sakusa cuts him off. He runs an assessing gaze over the remaining people. “Hinata’s room is… acceptable.”
“Hey, my room’s not that much of a mess!” Atsumu exclaims, before quieting down at the soft sound of protest coming from Kageyama, still latched onto him. “‘nd wait, you’ve been in Shouyou-kun’s room?”
“Yes. Hinata?” Sakusa prompts him.
“Yeah, I’ll take Kageyama!!” Hinata jumps at the chance, gladly taking it. “Come on, Drunkyama, you’ll be in my room,” he says, easily peeling Kageyama away from Atsumu. Bereft of a warm body, Kageyama latches on to him instead.
Hinata ignores Atsumu’s whining and resulting yelp in favor of staring up at Kageyama’s lightly flushed face and taking in the way that the alcohol has softened his expression. Even though there’s the smell of alcohol lingering around him, Hinata catches a soft, milky scent coming from Kageyama underneath the alcohol. It suits him.
“Alright,” Hinata says as he links arms with Kageyama. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Leading Kageyama out of the izakaya and through the streets to the MSBY Black Jackals’ dorms is surprisingly easy. Kageyama wordlessly follows him, the only sign of his drunkenness being the way that he continues clinging onto him, docile and pliant. Hinata takes the time to bask in the sensation of this Drunkyama being so trusting of him. Not that he doesn’t like it when he argues and competes with Kageyama, but the unspoken trust that he’s displaying now is intoxicating, even more than any liquor.
It goes to his head, and the state of his room barely registers in his mind when he flings his door open wide to usher Kageyama in. Except, there’s only a single bed, his bed. And it’s not like he’s ever prepared for visitors, so he doesn’t have a spare futon. But he doesn’t want to just shove this rare, compliant Kageyama into a couch in the common room, not when everyone else can just see him.
“I’m tired,” Kageyama mumbles softly by his side. Hinata can’t help it when his heart melts at how plaintive he sounds, and decides that he will be the one to sleep in the common room. He can bear the mocking of the rest of his team.
“Go sleep in the bed, Drunkyama,” Hinata says, pushing Kageyama towards it. Kageyama listens to him, readily slipping underneath the covers. Hinata turns to leave, but stops when Kageyama clings onto his hand to ask, “Are you not staying?”
“I-” And well, what kind of response can he give to that? “I’m just going to turn off the lights,” Hinata says, as he carefully detaches Kageyama from him. “I’ll be right back.”
Hinata catches a glimpse of the tiniest pout on Kageyama’s face, and can’t help but melt at it. Sleeping in the same bed will be no problem. It’ll be kind of like summer training camp all over again. Not that they ever shared a futon during camp.
On normal days, Hinata wants to bounce out of his bed, ready to face the day with energy that Atsumu always says is like a bouncing ball that never stops. But today, he wants to snuggle deeper into the warmth by his side, something he hasn’t felt ever since Natsu grew too old to want to share a bed with her onii-chan because of her nightmares.
Except there shouldn’t be something warm and human-like wrapped around him.
Hinata slowly, slowly cracks an eye open to peer at the warm body next to him. The sight of Kageyama clinging to him like a limpet, face relaxed in a way that only sleep brings him, a string of drool escaping from his mouth, makes him smile as he recalls how adorable Drunkyama had been. But his smile is rapidly wiped off his face. He can’t smile when he comes to the realization that Kageyama is in his room. His room with the walls practically plastered in all sorts of photos and posters of him.
They cannot remain on display. Not with Kageyama here. Hinata gently tries to wriggle his way out of Kageyama’s grip, but the moment he moves, Kageyama makes a grunt of protest, and his arms latch on even harder. Any other movement prompts an even tighter grip, until it feels like he’s being crushed within his hold.
So. Death by embarrassment or death through snapped ribs.
A hard choice, but Hinata resigns himself to his fate and stops moving. It’ll be awkward looking at Kageyama’s face and seeing his expression when he inevitably sees the state of his walls, but the threatening sound of his ribs creaking within Kageyama’s hold is scarier. He might as well enjoy being held in Kageyama’s tight embrace, his grip and warmth kind of like a heated weighted blanket. It’s nice as long as he doesn’t move and test Sleepyama’s strength.
Kageyama is remarkably good as a space heater, and Hinata finds himself beginning to doze off as he lies trapped within Kageyama’s embrace once the panic and resignation to humiliation begins to wear off. The soft, milky smell wafting from him is soothing, especially now that the smell of alcohol has dissipated overnight. It’s hardly his fault that he slips back into the depths of his dreams. It’s not like he can do anything else.
The next time Hinata awakes, it’s to the sensation of something moving in his bed, the feeling of the grip on him loosening. He takes his chance to shift to the side, breaking free from the grasp of Kageyama’s arms. He’s finally free, but at what cost?
“... Hinata?” Kageyama sounds bleary and confused, voice deep and raspy from just waking up. A shiver runs up Hinata’s spine, but it’s hard to tell if that’s from Kageyama’s morning voice or the impending doom of Kageyama seeing his room.
“Why am I in your bed?” Kageyama asks as he pushes himself up to a sitting position on his bed. Hinata’s in the perfect position to look up at Kageyama’s face and see his eyes widen as he goes, “Ah,” finally fully seeing the full glory that is his room. He wants to die.
“I, uh-”
“Where did you get all these pictures of me?” Kageyama asks, voice back to normal, all signs of sleepiness wiped away.
Hinata squeezes his eyes shut, ready to be called a moron, a dumbass, to have Kageyama shove his way out of his bed, as he reluctantly squeezes out, “I bought them from magazines…”
“Dumbass.”
And there it is. Hinata flinches. It’s hard to tell how disgusted Kageyama is with his eyes closed, but he doesn’t want to see the absolute look of disgust that he must have upon seeing his maybe best friend, definitely not anymore, have an entire room of collection of pictures of him.
“Why did you waste so much money on buying the magazines when you could have asked me?”
Hinata opens his eyes to stare wide-eyed at Kageyama, gawping at his response. Kageyama has the gall to be smiling at him, that smug, smug smirk of his that always appears whenever he one-ups him. Like he doesn’t recognize that what he’s done isn’t normal, no matter how much he’s tried to convince himself it was for the sake of their rivalry.
“I-. You don’t mind?”
“If you really wanted to have pictures of me because you were lonely in Brazil, you should have asked me, moron. You know professional players get their articles for free.”
“Wait, I wasn’t lonely in Brazil!” Hinata protests, as he sits upright to reduce the height advantage Kageyama has on him in the bed. “It- it was for the sake of our rivalry!”
Kageyama snorts. “That’s what Sakusa-san said to Ushijima-san when he found out about his collection.”
While it’s nice to know that he’s not the only one with a stalkerish tendency to collect pictures of Kageyama, and that Sakusa’s reference to having a collection of his own was with respect to Ushijima, it does not make Hinata feel any better to be told that. Not when it really had started because he was lonely and needed motivation and the rivalry to push him even harder in Brazil.
Kageyama’s smirk softens. “Look, dumbass. I don’t mind.” He scoots closer to Hinata. “I like you. Even if it is weird discovering you have pictures of me that I don’t remember being taken.”
“You… like me?” Hinata sits there, stunned as he attempts to process Kageyama’s words. Like, as in like like? That’s something he hadn’t even dared to think about, not even after the startling realization that Kageyama was attractive. It’s-
Something warm and soft on his lips distracts him from his mini meltdown. Kageyama’s close, so close that he can see the way that his irises constantly shift from blue to gray to blue in the light. But, more importantly. His lips. Something warm. Kageyama kissed him?
Suddenly, his entire face feels like it’s searing hot.
“Yeah, for some reason, I do.” Kageyama says, as he shifts past Hinata to get off the bed, leaving Hinata as still as stone. “Come find me when your pea brain decides you want me instead of my pictures,” he shoots at Hinata as he exits his room.
And while Hinata wants to scramble out of his bed to run after Kageyama to stop him from leaving so that he can ask him more, he finds that he can’t. The only thing he can do is sit on his bed, his legs not working from the shock of the confession and the kiss.
Kageyama likes him. Even after seeing his… collection.