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It wasn’t like he could control it.
It was more of - an itch between his shoulder blades. A yawning stretch that wouldn’t allow his bones to settle in his place. A soreness he couldn’t rub away, a thirst that left his mouth tasting of salt.
Izzy blinked slowly, hardly aware of anything but the wind in his hair. The moon was getting fuller, and his limbs more restless.
“Boss?” Ivan said, looking worried. “You alright?”
Ivan and Fang knew something happened once a month. Only Ed knew the truth.
“Hmm,” Izzy said, which wasn’t an answer. “Hm.”
Ivan awkwardly reached over, patting him on the back. He immediately retreated, like that had been the worst idea he’d ever had.
Izzy closed his eyes, and tried not to purr.
-
“There’s a monster aboard.” Buttons said, ominously. “I’ve heard it.”
Stede and Ed turned to him, as one. Buttons rarely interrupted the Captain’s quarters. Stede put down his marmalade knife. Ed waggled his eyebrows.
“A monster, you say?”
“Aye,” Buttons nodded, solemnly. “Hissing and spitting. Raging at the wind.”
“Sure it wasn’t Izzy, mate?”
Stede chortled, thwacking Ed’s arm.
Buttons peered at him, as though an interesting question had been posed.
“Not sure, Captain. I’ll keep a weathered eye out.”
“You do that, mate.” Ed said, toasting him. “Can’t have any hissing aboard.”
-
Once a month, when the moon was at its height, Izzy would instruct Ivan and Fang to place boxes outside of his door.
When Stede heard this, he puffed himself up to full height.
“We’re not — barbarians, Ed. We don’t lock people in rooms.”
“Izzy likes it,” Ed said, because saying anything else was a bad idea. “It’s normal, for him.”
Stede frowned.
“Well, I don’t like it. I’ll talk to him about it.”
-
The conversation didn’t end up happening in time.
Stede frowned at the heavy stack of boxes in front of Izzy’s door.
“Mister Hands?” Stede called. “Israel?”
No answer.
Stede’s mind began to race. Suppose he had tripped and broken something, and couldn’t be heard through the thick walls? Suppose he was staring at the door in anguish, hoping for a rescue? Suppose he was just waiting for Stede to burst in and carry him to safety, like a blonde Prince Charming?
“Israel,” Stede said, straightening his coat. “I need some assurance of your safety, or I will check for it myself.”
Still, no answer.
“Right. Suppose I’ll just - get to moving these, then.”
He’d have to put his back into it. For Izzy’s sake.
-
When the last box was moved, he finally opened the door, and found …
“Mister Hands?” Stede called.
The room was empty.
“Oh.” Stede said, rather disappointed that he couldn’t enact his dashing rescue. “Well, if that’s the case, then -“
He was interrupted by a strange chirrup. From under the blankets popped the head of —
Stede shrieked, somewhat shrilly.
“Captain? You alright?” Someone called.
“Perfectly fine!” Stede squeaked, not breaking eye contact. “Be up in a jiffy!”
It was a mangy little cat. It looked like it hadn’t ever had a day’s rest, or a decent belly of food. Its hair was patchy and thin, and its eyes watery.
“Mrrp?” The cat said, and Stede melted.
“Oh, dearie me.” Stede said, unable to help a smile.
Of course. Edward didn’t allow pets aboard, so Izzy kept the cat hidden. Still, he should feed the little thing some more.
Stede began to hatch a plan.
“Stay right here, little puss puss.”
“Mrow.” The cat responded, and Stede closed the door.
-
“Good god, man, I didn’t think it was that complex.”
“You want a full meat ration ground to paste for no reason?” Roach threw up his hands. “Jizzy’ll have my head. No can do.”
Stede puffed.
“I could make it an order.”
Roach gave him a look, deeply unimpressed.
“Do we have any scraps?” Stede wheedled. “Skins? Tendons? Broth?”
“Stede,” Roach said. “What’s going on?”
-
And so, Roach was now cooing over the little beast, scratching its neck and poking its nose.
“You mustn’t tell Ed.” Stede said, twirling a feather above the cat’s head. The cat swiped at it, before being distracted by a speck on Roach’s trousers. “Izzy’d be quite cross.”
“We wouldn’t want that, no we wouldn’t!” Roach said, making kissy noises. “Two rations for you, Mister Baby-face!”
“Baby-face? I was thinking Caspian.” Stede said, primly.
“Caspian?” Roach said, pulling a face. “You can’t call her Caspian.”
“Well, you called her Mister!”
“Why, what’s all this, then?” Lucius said, slinking into the room with a smile.
“Shh!” Stede and Roach both hissed, waving for him to close the door.
-
The room was now filled with Stede, Roach, Lucius, Oluwande, and Jim. Black Pete and Wee John were outside with Frenchie and the Swede, though not before Wee John smuggled the cat a little stuffed toy.
“She’s so cute.” Oluwande said, softly, rubbing the blanket next to the cat’s tail.
“Adorable.” Jim said, sounding unimpressed. “This is the big secret surprise?”
“Don’t listen to them, Baby-Face.” Roach said, covering the cat’s ears. “They’re just jealous they’re not the only bad luck on board.”
Jim quietly seethed. Lucius was carefully sketching the tiny thing, who was curled up after Roach’s snacks.
“So thin.” Lucius said, lip curled. “Izzy wouldn’t know how to nurture if it bit him on his flat arse.”
“Still can’t believe it’s his.” Roach said. “We should get out of here before he comes back.”
“Where is the little prick, anyways?”
They heard four knocks from down the hall - Wee John’s code for someone’s coming.
They all jumped, and held their breath.
They heard footsteps, and whistling. The whistling stopped just outside the door.
“Iz?”
Stede’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. Oluwande reached for the door. Roach shook his head frantically, making a neck-slitting gesture. Jim grabbed Oluwande’s wrist.
It was Ed.
“Y’alright, mate? Should I put the boxes back?”
“Alright, Captain.” Jim called, in a rough voice and a bad accent. “Don’t get your fucking pants fucking twisted.”
“Sure you’re okay? You sound awful.”
Jim cringed. Oluwande put a hand over his mouth, to keep from laughing.
“M’alright, boss.” Jim said, and snapped their mouth shut.
“Okay, well, I’ll put the boxes back. I know you like ‘em a certain way.”
Roach’s mouth fell open, and he pointed at the door furiously. Stede threw his hands up helplessly. Oluwande was still trying not to laugh.
“Alright?”
“Right.” Jim wheezed.
Finally, they heard Blackbeard’s fearsome boots retreating.
“Oh, fuck.”
-
Thankfully, they had friends on the outside. Not so thankfully, they had been dragged topside for nightwatch, as the moon rose over the ship.
Izzy’s orders. Fang and Ivan said, and Stede tried not to weep.
“We’re in for it now, Paquito.” Jim mumbled, scratching the cat’s head. “What a way to die.”
“What, locked in Whizzy’s quarters?”
“Nope. Stabbed by Izzy to keep his cat a secret.”
They all sighed. Stede yawned, rubbing his eyes.
“I don’t suppose there’s a secret passageway in here, is there?” Lucius asked, desperately.
“In Mister Hands’ room?” Stede asked, scandalized. “What, you think I visit him?”
“Oh, there so is.” Lucius leered.
“Captain!” Roach said, taking him by the shoulders. “You’ve got to let us out! Izzy’ll kill us!”
The cat meowed, as though agreeing.
Stede made an anxious little noise. Lucius whacked him with the book.
“Stede, this is literally life or death. Where’s the passage?”
“If I tell you,” Stede said, holding up one bejeweled finger. “You must never use it to disturb Mister Hands.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“A man deserves his privacy, after all.”
“Ste-ede.” Lucius whined. “I really need to piss.”
“Oh, alright.” Stede said. He walked over to the table in Izzy’s room, fumbling around behind it.
“Here it is!”
He flipped the switch, and the wall shifted. Quiet cheers came from behind him, and the crew shuffled out.
“Takes you right into the kitchen.” Stede said, with a sigh. “Supposed to be a secret.”
“Mums the word, captain.” Oluwande said. “Can we take the cat?”
Jim swatted his shoulder.
“Never mind. You staying here?”
Stede looked helplessly at the bunch of fur. It was staring up at him with oddly familiar eyes, knitting the bedspread.
“Well…”
The cat crawled over, butting it’s head against Stede’s knee. Up close, Stede could see that one leg was kept curled to his side, at an odd angle.
“Oh, drat.” Stede said. “I’ll stay. Tell Ed … something. I’ll deal with Mister Hands, later.”
-
And, of course, as had been the case earlier, later never came.
“Why, Caspian,” Stede said, kissing his little head. “You are quite the charmer.”
Caspian squeaked in response, a clipped, broken sound. Stede had laid down on Izzy’s hard, thin cot. Caspian had immediately crawled up his chest for a more comfortable lie-down.
“Such a handsome thing, aren’t you?“ Stede said, softly. “Just needs a little love.”
Caspian kneaded his paws against Stede’s sternum, a motion Roach had gleefully called making biscuits.
“Little darling.” Stede said, and kissed the tiny nose.
Caspian chirruped again, and began to purr. It was an anemic, thin little noise, but a purr all the same.
“You close your eyes, darling.” Stede said, bravely. “I’ll take first watch.”
They were both asleep in minutes.
-
Stede woke up warm. Warm, with something heavy on him.
“Caspian?” Stede said, blearily, and made to sit up.
He couldn’t, of course. Not with Izzy Hands asleep on him.
Stede stared, bug eyed, at the shirtless man. Izzy made a snuffly noise, rubbing his face into Stede’s shirt.
“Oh, dear.” Stede said, quietly, feeling the same twang in his heart as when looking at Caspian. “Oh, bollocks.”
His face was quite handsome when relaxed, mouth pink and plush and slightly ajar. He was lighter than he should be, his soft skin covered in scars from lashes and bullets.
Stede’s heart hurt again, and he held Izzy closer.
“Mm…” Izzy said, and squinted up at him. “Hm?”
Stede froze, staring at him. Izzy stared back, eyes lidded.
One wrong move, and he’d claw his eyes out.
“Go back to sleep, love.” Stede whispered. “It’s alright.”
Izzy just stared, blinking slowly. Stede ran his hand through Izzy’s hair, even while his brain screamed at him to stop.
“Hush,” Stede said. “Back to bed, now.”
Izzy’s eyes drifted shut, curling closer. He made a small noise, dropping his face back to Stede’s chest.
Stede stared at the ceiling, swearing eloquently.
He’d deal with it later.