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Jason rooted around his bathroom for 15 minutes looking for his hair scissors. He groaned remembering that he’d left his hair scissors at the manor the last time he’d stayed over. Whatever. He’d grab them and head home.
Jason grabbed his helmet and keys, tucking his far too long locks into his bike helmet before speeding off into the street.
He drove up the long driveway of the Wayne manor on his bike, parking it as he pulled into the garage. He'd taken the civilian entrance as he was just in civies tonight, and he didn't feel like running into anyone in uniform tonight, and the hair that kept falling into his eyes was starting to piss him off.
The door to the house barely creaked as Jason opened it and entered the house in an uncharacteristically quiet manner. He had dropped off the face of the earth for a bit on another undercover mission, and his homecomings weren’t always this subtle, but he really didn’t feel like putting on a show tonight.
He walked briskly past the sitting room, making a beeline for his room. He was stopped by a body entering the hallway at the same moment he passed the threshold of the sitting room.
“Jason?!”
Jason stopped in his tracks as he came face-to-face with Grayson–– wasn’t his brother supposed to be in Bludhaven? Dick grabbed Jason and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.
“Little wing! When did you get back? You’ve been gone for a month! We missed you!"
Jason tried to speak, but his brother was squeezing the air from his lungs. Dick seemed to notice and released his death grip, but didn’t let Jason fully escape the hug.
“Hey, Dickiebird. Got back a couple of hours ago, I just wanted to stop by. Where’s everybody else?”
Dick frowned at that, “What? You’re gone for a month and you’re just stopping by?” Dick pouted–– literally pouted at Jason. Jason felt a little guilt creep up his throat.
“Uh––”
“Is that Jason?” Tim came walking out of the kitchen, smiling as he caught sight of his more elusive older brother, “Hey Jay! We missed you,” Tim joined the hug that Grayson still had not released him from.
The kid's hair had gotten long. It hung down, grazing his shoulders and covering his eyes. Jason knew it had been long when he left, but it looked way longer than he remembered. Had Jason really been gone that long?
“Hey, Timbo. I missed you guys too. Nice locks,” Jason ruffled Tim’s near man-bunable length hair.
Tim tugged at his hair sheepishly, “Yeah…I’ve been meaning to get it cut. Just haven’t had the time.”
"Pffft, of course you don't have time for self-care."
Tim pouted at him. Jason felt another presence join them in the hallway.
“Master Jason, it is lovely to see you home,” Alfred had entered the hallway and was walking towards the three boys, “Master Bruce is out with Damian, Duke, and the girls at the moment, but they will be home in time for dinner. I trust you will at least be staying for dinner, especially after your prolonged absence?”
The guilt that he’d felt earlier rose in his throat. He smiled at his grandfather, “Hey Alfred. Yeah, I think I’ll stay a bit longer,” He turned back to his brothers, both Dick and Tim beaming up at him.
“Wonderful. I’ll make sure to set out a place for you. Oh, and there are clean sheets on your bed if you wish to spend the night.”
“Thanks, Alfie.”
Alfred disappeared from the hallway and Dick finally released him from the hug. Tim and Dick dragged Jason back into the sitting room to finish whatever show Dick had been watching, Dick forcing Jason to sit in the middle of the couch, with one brother latched onto either side of him. So much for stopping by.
“Why didn’t the two of you go out with everyone else tonight?” Jason asked curiously.
“I got here after they’d already left. Timmy here was working, so I stayed and helped him finish up early,” Dick leaned over Jason and tugged at a loose strand of Tim’s hair, “Seriously though, Tim. Jay’s right, you do need a haircut.”
“Hey! You’re one to talk! Plus, look at Jason’s hair!”
Jason barked a laugh, “Yeah, well at least I don’t look like a fuckin’ mop.”
Dick laughed at that and Tim punched him in the shoulder, glaring up at Jason.
“Ok, fine. We’re all due for a haircut,” Dick paused, a thought seeming to cross his features, before turning to Jason, “Don’t you cut your own hair, Jay?”
“Yeah? I was planning on cutting it tonight. Why?”
Dick just smiled at him. Jason had an inkling as to where this was going and he wasn’t sure he’d like it.
“Tim? How much time do we have till dinner?”
Tim seemed to catch on, a matching mischievous smile crossing his face, “A couple of hours.”
Both of his brothers were staring at him now. Jason avoided their gazes, “I’m not cutting your hair for you, you dweebs.”
The staring continued, both brothers latching more tightly onto his arms. Jason could feel Tim’s eyes boring into him. But Jason was trained for this. He wasn’t going to crack.
“I’ll help you plant glitter bombs in Bruce’s dresser.”
“Deal.”
After some debate, they settled on using Bruce’s bathroom as their base of operations. The master bath had the largest bathtub, which would make cleanup much easier, and Bruce wasn’t supposed to be back for a couple of hours.
Tim watched as Jason rummaged through a toiletry bag he’d brought into the bathroom from his room, setting aside things he would need to cut all of their hair.
“Alright, who wants to go first?” Jason turned to them, brandishing a pair of scissors in one hand and clippers in the other. Tim looked up from where he was placing trash bags down on the floor, glancing at Dick.
“I’ll go first, Jay. I only need a trim so it won’t take too long. Timmy’s gonna need more of your attention anyways,” Dick moved to the chair they had dragged into the bathroom, but Jason stopped him.
“Nope, gotta get your hair wet first, Dickie,” Jason dragged the chair to the edge of the sink and motioned for Dick to sit.
“Aw, you gonna wash my hair, little wing? Are we getting the full salon experience?”
“Keep that up, and I’ll bleach your hair till it’s fucking fried,” Jason crossed his arms over his chest indignantly. There were several assorted bottles on the counter that Tim didn’t recognize, but he was certain none of them were bleach.
Dick shot him puppy eyes and Jason huffed, “Fine, yeah. It’s easier for me to cut it when it’s wet. Plus it’s easier to work the product into your hair this way, Dickhead. Lord knows you have no clue what you’re doing. Now get over here and sit the fuck down before I change my mind."
Dick gasped in mock offense as he moved to the chair by the sink, “Excuse you! I’ll have you know that I have great hair!”
“Yeah, and you treat it like shit. I have no clue how you’re not fucking bald.”
Tim snorted at that.
Dick sat back, closing his eyes as he let Jason wash his hair. Easy conversation flowed between the three of them, with Dick nearly falling asleep while Jason scrubbed suds into his scalp.
Tim helped Jason move the chair into the bathtub once Dick’s hair was washed, and Tim sat on the edge of the tub while Jason cut Dick’s hair.
“You know Dickie, you could be bald at the end of this, “ Jason said playfully as he turned on the clippers.
Dick laughed, “Yeah, well, I actually think I could rock being bald.”
“Please don’t–– I can’t get the image out of my head now. It’s going to haunt me in my dreams,” Tim grabbed his arms own and shuddered in fear.
Jason laughed, “What? You afraid of a bald Dick?”
Silence.
Then all three boys burst out laughing. Tim crumpled off the side of the tub and was rolling on the bathroom floor, Dick was hunched over on the chair gasping for breath, and Jason barely managed to set the scissors down before he folded over the side of the tub.
It took them a couple of minutes to come down from their laughter because every time they settled down they’d all look at each other and start busting up laughing again.
“Alright, alright––,” Jason wiped a tear from his eye as he caught his breath, “Seriously, Dick, your hair is gonna dry soon, I need to start cutting it now.”
“What, it’s not my fault,” Dick huffed with a smile on his face, turning so Jason could start cutting his hair.
The actual haircut itself didn’t take long. Jason maneuvered the scissors through his older brother's hair with ease.
“How come you’ve never cut my hair before, Jay?” Dick said holding the mirror, examining Jason’s finished work.
Jason shrugged, “It just never came up when we were younger, and then–– yeah.”
The room was oddly quiet for a moment before Dick cut through the tension, “Well, it looks great, Jay. And now I know you’re great at this, so I’ll be pestering you about it more often.”
Jason chuckled, “I’m gonna start charging you then, my services ain’t for free.”
“Yeah, yeah. Timmy! Get in the chair, it’s your turn,” Dick smiled at Tim, moving to dry his freshly cut hair.
“Same rules still apply, Timbo. Gotta wash your greasy head first,” Jason moved the chair back to the sink.
Tim frowned at that, “Pretty sure I can wash my own hair.”
“No can do, Timtam,” Jason shook his head, “You’re even worse than Dick when it comes to self-care, so you’re not getting out of this.”
Tim tried to argue but was eventually forced into the chair to let Jason wash his hair. He leaned his head back and let the water run over his head as Jason massaged shampoo into his hair. And holy shit. Tim closed his eyes and leaned back, relaxing further into the chair.
Tim had been to a salon many times in his life. He’d gone through this process however many times, but Jason was a freaking wizard when it came to this.
Dick had nearly fallen asleep in the chair when it was his turn. Tim was out like a light in a matter of seconds as Jason carded his fingers through his hair and scrubbed the shampoo into his scalp.
Tim was roused from his nap by the sounds of talking and music as it began to play through the room. He opened his eyes to see Jason still standing over him, rinsing out his hair, and talking to Dick over his shoulder. At some point, Dick must’ve grabbed a speaker, and the music coming through it was enough to keep Tim conscious as Jason finished rinsing the suds out of his hair.
“You up, baby bird? It’s time for the chop.”
Tim nodded and sat up. He hadn’t been out for very long, but it really emphasized how tired he really was. Dick handed him a cup of coffee, which Tim took gratefully, the coffee doing wonders to wake him up. He downed it like a shot and handed the mug back to Dick. His brothers stared at him, momentarily terrified.
They once again moved the chair from the sink into the bathtub, Dick’s hair already having been swept into trash bags or washed away.
“Alright, Timbo. What’dya want in terms of a haircut? A trim? Or something more drastic?”
“Hm,” Tim wasn’t sure, he hadn’t thought about it even though they’d been up here for over an hour already. Tim shook his head, “M’not sure.”
“Well, think about it, ‘cause your hair’s drying, and I want this done before Bruce gets home.”
“Mm… I think I’d like to keep a little bit of length in the front and on top, but I’d like to take the sides in a lot more.”
Dick snorted, “Holy cow, you sound like you’re talking to a real hair stylist.”
“No shit, Dickhead. What makes you think I’m not a real hair stylist? Anyways, I think that’s a good idea, Timmy. You ok with clippers?”
Tim nodded.
“Perfect,” Jason smiled, flipping the clippers on, and got to work.
The haircut itself took nearly two hours. Dick had gone downstairs a minute ago to see how long they had until dinner, but Tim's hair was done. Jason wouldn’t call himself a perfectionist, but he’d done a pretty damn good job with Tim’s haircut.
“Alright! All done,” Jason handed Tim the handheld mirror.
Tim took it and examined his hair, “Holy shit, Jay. This isn’t bad at all.”
Jason lightly smacked the back of his head, “Of course, it’s not. What do you take me for? A fucking amateur?”
“No, not at all,” Tim shook his head, “It’s just–– when did you even learn to cut hair?”
“Couldn’t afford to go get haircuts as a kid, so I cut my own growing up. I mostly used house scissors back then, but I got better at it the more I practiced. I even befriended the old barber that used to operate near Crime Alley. They taught me a thing or two,” Jason gestured to the clippers.
Tim just nodded in response, admiring his new look, “It looks really good, Jay,” Tim turned and smiled at him, “Thanks.”
“Don’t sweat it, Timmers.”
Dick pouted at him as Jason moved to the sink to wash his own hair.
“What is it, Dickface?”
“Who’s gonna wash and cut your hair, Jay?”
Jason paused, confusion seeping into his voice, “Me? I always cut my own hair.”
That only made Dick pout more, “That hardly seems fair to me, you just washed and cut both Tim’s hair and mine. I know you don’t need it… but do you want help?”
Jason snorted, “Like I’d ever let you near my head with a pair of clippers or scissors, Dickhead. You’d probably shave me bald on accident.”
“Or on purpose,” Tim piped up from his spot in the chair, which has now been moved out of the tub.
Dick gasped, “I would never !”
“I would,” Tim looked up at his brothers, “If provoked.”
“Yeah, no way either of you is touching my hair. Especially with no experience.”
Dick huffed and slumped onto the counter, seeming to accept defeat.
“Would you at least let us help you wash your hair?”
Jason had his head halfway under the sink as he looked up at Dick. Dick shot him puppy eyes again, Tim had moved to Dick’s side and was smiling at him.
Jason sighed and turned off the sink, “ Fine . But if I’ll fucking have your asses if you do anything to fuck up my hair.”
“Deal!” Dick pulled the chair in front of the sink and Tim forced Jason to sit down. Jason told them exactly what products to use and which one’s to not touch.
Dick placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “Just relax little wing, everything’s gonna be fine.”
Jason found that hard to believe but relented as soon as warm water and warm hands started to card through his hair.
Oh.
It had been a long time since he’s experienced something like this. It was… soothing. It didn’t take long for Jason’s eyelid to start feeling heavy. The anxiety he’d felt earlier ebbed from his shoulders as he fell asleep with his head in Bruce’s sink.
Bruce stood stock-still in the threshold of the master bath and blinked as he processed the sight in front of him. There were trashbags filled with what appeared to be hair strewn about the room, along with other empty bags, various bottles of hair products, scissors, and clippers.
Jason sat in front of the sink, head running under the water as Dick scrubbed soapy suds into his hair. Tim was sitting on the floor, leaning against Jason’s legs as he scrolled through his phone. Both Tim and Dick’s hair was shorter, more cleaned up. Tim’s especially.
Jason appeared to be sleeping, or at the very least relaxed… Perhaps the most relaxed Bruce had seen him in years.
Tim noticed him first, waving sheepishly at Bruce and bringing a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. Bruce nodded and stepped slowly and silently out of the bathroom.
Jason woke up with the absence of water and hands in his hair. Dick had lifted his head to wrap a small towel around his shoulders.
“Rise and shine, little wing! Did you enjoy your nap?” Dick smiled at him as Jason peeled his eyes open.
Jason stretched and tried to suppress a yawn before turning to scrutinize his hair in the mirror and ensure his brother hadn’t turned him blond.
He was pleasantly surprised to find his hair its usual color and clean.
“Wow. Thanks, Dickiebird. You managed to not royally fuck it up,” Jason threw the jab with a smirk, and Dick just laughed it off.
“Yeah, you’re welcome, Jay. Might wanna hurry up and cut it though. The others just got back, so dinner should be ready soon.”
“Yeah, yeah. I will, in a second. First, we gotta clean this place up before Alfred sees it.”