Work Text:
Dear Mav
I love you
Ice
It starts after the reunion. Ice has never felt so devastated to see someone leave as he does when Maverick heads out for his next deployment following the week they’ve all spent together. He’s missed the shorter pilot more than he cares to admit, and with everyone else busy with their own deployments or families, Ice feels more lonely than ever. Maverick fills a hole within him that Ice has always felt, and even if they aren’t on the best of terms, he still gets Ice in a way no one else does.
Ice has never been good with talking. It’s too impulsive, too thoughtless, too rapidfire for him to put proper meaning behind the words he uses. So Ice finds the alternative: Letters. It starts with small notes:
Dear Mav
I miss your smile
Ice
Whenever he misses him, he simply takes his notebook out and expresses it on paper, feeling the smallest bit of reprieve at it. He will never be truly fulfilled so long as Maverick isn’t his, but this will do in the meantime, if that ever changes. Gradually, it becomes his way of connecting to Maverick. The impulsive pilot mostly calls him, rambling away about his deployment and how it would be so much easier if Ice were there, and Ice can do nothing but chuckle and nod along. It’s how Maverick communicates, and Ice loves him for it.
Dear Mav
It's been a while. I know you're still busy with whatever punishment Cain gave you, so I'll make it as short as I can. I miss you. A lot. I know you like to pretend I don't care because it makes leaving easier, but I do. I always do and always will when you're away like this. So since you're not here, let me tell you about what's been going on here. My new posting is just as boring as you told me it would be, and though I hate to admit defeat, you were right about this one. Admiral Thomas is the most annoying coworker I have ever had, and that includes you. He comments on everything I do with an attitude that makes me want to smack him, and if it weren’t for your calls, I honestly think I would go insane. How you became my rock is a mystery I won’t even attempt to solve, but you are. You are a lot of things to me these days. You’re the person I have on my emergency contacts, the person I want by my side at the end of all things, and now my rock. Honestly, I don’t know how, or even if, I could survive without you. The second you’re back on land I’m taking you out, because you deserve everything I can give you and more.
Sincerely yours
Iceman
Time passes. Ice loves Maverick. It’s the one constant he will always have.
Dear Mav
I met Bradley again today. You were right, he’s a carbon copy of Goose, both in looks and personality. I hope you two make your peace again some day. The kid needs a dad, and I need you to be happy.
Always yours,
Tom Kazansky
When Ice is unexpectedly shipped out to the USS Abraham Lincoln to oversee a training exercise, the last thing he expects to see is Maverick commanding the squadron. He knows they won’t have time to meet, his schedule is far too packed for that. So he takes what he can get, and holds tight onto it.
Dear Mav
I saw you fly today, and it really got to me. I don't know quite how to express it except like this
A quick flash of metal, bending at your will
The sky at your mercy, a path for your thrill
But life rarely grants one a path for forever
And one day Fortuna will put death on your lever
Your life is your weapon, your aircraft your choice
You are destined for power, your flying your voice
But I will never be given the option to hear you
For one day I burn out, and that is all that is true
Sincerely yours,
Tom Kazansky
The years pass. Ice writes and loves Maverick.
Dear Mav
I love you. Here’s what that conference was really like…
Dear Mav
I visited the graves today. They’re well maintained, you take good care of them. I only wish you were here to cry with me. They deserve to feel how much you still love them. I left a bouquet there in your name.
Tom
Dear Mav
I miss you. The cat misses you too. I need you back here soon, or else I’m going to go insane I think. I need you in general, really.
I miss everything about you. The way you always try to wind me up, how you keep my feet planted on the ground even when I try to stay up there with you in the clouds, even how you always steal my pens. I miss everything about you, even when I say I don’t. You’re my everything and the only person I feel I know fully. My heart is completely and utterly yours, forever. You give me strength to keep going, even when I hate my job. Especially when I hate my job. Sometimes I think you mess up on purpose to give me a reason to keep going. If you are, I love you for that. Just like I love you for everything you do. I just love you. The way you always brighten my day, how you want me to be happy no matter what. It’s everything to me. You are everything to me. My dearest Mav.
Yours forever
Tom
Dear Mav
You’re even more incredible than you give yourself credit for, you know. That program Cain hates is now a top priority because of you. You saved those jobs, and all the people who depend on that project. I am so proud of you. Gods, how I love you.
Yours,
Tom
Dear Mav
You are still my everything. I know I just saw you but I needed to tell you too.
Tom
Dear Mav
You were right. It is cancer. I’ll be starting treatment soon. Thank you for everything.
I love you,
Tom
Writing during cancer treatment is hard. Ice struggles with the pains and how everything feels even more real than before. So when his cat is in desperate need of a babysitter after Ice gets a call about an appointment he forgot, there is only one person he can text.
“I need you to watch Claire for a few hours. Got an appointment I forgot about.”
“I’ve got you covered Ice. Are you sure you want to go there alone?”
“100%. Claire needs the attention more than I do.”
Being in Ice's house alone feels wrong. Being without Ice in general does, but this is a new level of hurt. Yet, with Ice gone for treatment and Claire the cat needing a babysitter, Maverick was left with little choice. He owes his friend so much. Ice is his everything, the very reason Maverick gets to be who he is, so this small favour is nothing to him. Claire loves him, always has, so when he finds her in the attic (a place Maverick has never been, for all the times he has visited) he is more than a little surprised.
"Hey there Claire. What have you got here?" Mav tries to look around the room to figure out why she would be here of all places, when a small paw nudges something at him.
"Mau." Is all she says before walking down the stairs to the familiar parts of the house. Yet, Maverick remains right where he is. Because before him lies an envelope, with his name on it. Had it been at any other place in the house, he would have ignored it. Ice usually has at least fourteen letters around at any given moment, so to find one about him in that setting would be a normal day. This however, is not. These, Maverick realises, are private. Ice has written letters to him privately, letters he never meant for him to see.
And here he is. He gently lifts off the top of the box the letter was on top of, and his brain comes to a screeching halt. Before him lies what must easily be a hundred letters, all addressed to him. He picks up a random one, trying to figure out what they are.
Dear Mav
It's been almost a year since I saw you last. You are still as beautiful as ever, my love, even though I know you hated the banquet. You wear your uniform well, much better than I ever could, and I just wish I could have walked over there and kissed you. I wanted to be yours that night, the way I still do now. I know you have your doubts about the recent mission they want to send you on, but I know you're the only one who can do it. So just believe in yourself, please
I know you want to know how I'm doing, so I'll tell you that too. The job is still miserable, but I'll manage, as I always do..
Mav quickly picks up another letter. This cannot be right. Ice doesn't love him like he does Ice, right?
Dear Mav
I love you. I wish you knew just how much and how deeply. You saved me, you know? If I hadn't gone to the doctor when you'd said, well, it wouldn't have ended well for any of us. But I did, and now I'm getting help. I owe you for that. I wish you could be here, I know you wanted to, but it may be that your absence is for the best. This isn't fun, after all. But I do miss you. I hope I can get you to laugh again once we're back together, and I feel better. I miss your laughter especially now, when things feel so dark and cloudy. You always see the sliver of positives I can never find, and I need that now. I need you.
Always yours,
Ice
Tears are streaming down Maverick's face. Then, he notices the dates, and starts digging. The earliest one he can find is dated to the spring of '87, after the unintentional reunion. He rips it open, hands shaking as he realises that what he is holding in his hand, and by extension looking at, are love letters. Ice loves him so purely that he has needed the aid of written words to express it. Maverick wants to scream. Here he was, thinking all this time that he was alone in his feelings, when Ice too loved him back. He loves him. Dear Lord above, Maverick needs to find him. Except he won't be here for another four hours. Well, second best there is then.
Thirty minutes later, he has what he needs. The letter is placed on top of the box, with the same style Ice seems to prefer: The date at the top right corner, and Ice's name written across the envelope. Maverick leaves it there, hoping it will be enough.
Two days later Ice walks up to find one of his earlier letters, when he notices one he knows he did not write. It's addressed to him, with handwriting he does not recognise.
Dear Ice
I have to admit I'm not much of a writer, but I hope this will do. Honesty is something I can do, so that's what I'll bring you here. I love you. Honest and openly, to the very depths of my soul. I love you, wholly and completely. My heart belongs to you, has since '86, and I suspect it always will. So please, if you love me too this way, call me when you get this. I can't wait any longer now that I know our hearts belong to each other.
Your Mav
Ice calls him immediately. Mav picks up surprisingly quickly.
"Ice?"
"Maverick. If you aren't at my house within the next five minutes I don't know what I'll do."
"Good, because I'm already here."
To say Ice runs down the stairs would be an understatement. He practically flies down in his haste to reach him. When he finally reaches the front door, he nearly rips it open. On the other side, Maverick stands with his arms simply reaching out. Ice falls into them without question, grabbing his face and angling their mouths together. He is done waiting, and clearly he's not the only one.
Much later, they lie together, happy for what feels like the first time.
"Hey Ice." Maverick's tone is playful, even if it's somewhat lighter than normal.
"What?"
"I love you. I will keep saying it."
"I love you too. And I'll keep saying it too." Kissing him on the forehead, Ice settles in for a peaceful sleep.
Dear Mav
I love you. Thank you for being there today, even though I thought you could not. You're my everything. I know you missed some things, so here's what I've been doing.....
I miss you still.
Yours,
Tom
Dear Ice
I love you too. I'll always be there when I can.
Your Mav
All is well now. They are where they belong.