Work Text:
“Hi”
Charlie…
So… freaking… cute…
Even just how he says hi.
Breathe Nick. Don’t just stand there. Start talking.
“Um…”
God, look at him. Look at his hair. It’s so fluffy today. I just wanna touch it. No. Stop! Remember what you’re here for.
“I’m sorry for not texting you. Uh…” Good apology. Keep going. God, he looks cute. “I just wanted to talk in person.”
“Ok.”
He hasn’t slammed the door in my face…
“Just…”
Oh no!
“Just come in, you’re getting soaked.”
What? Oh it’s raining.
“Yeah, good idea.” How did I not notice it’s raining? It’s really raining!
“Did you forget a coat?”
“Oh. Uh…” Woops. Oh my God I’m drenched. I didn’t even know it was raining. “Yeah, I didn’t check the weather before I left.” I can’t believe I didn’t notice it was raining.
“Idiot.”
How does he make the word ‘idiot’ sound cute?! That chuckle. God, Charlie. You’re killing me.
“Um…” Let’s get this over with. “So, about last night…” Do it… “Um…” Don’t look so sad Charlie. Why are you sad? Shit. Did I misread him? He didn’t like kissing me like I liked kissing him. “I just wanted to say that…”
“Nick.”
Holy shit. Mrs Spring. Where did you come from?
“I didn’t know you were coming round.”
No. You didn’t. No one did. Not even Charlie. I can’t tell you why though. Shit. What do I say?
“Um. Yeah.” Shit! “Sorry. Yeah…”
“He’s just picking up a jumper he left here last week.”
Shit Charlie. That was quick. How did you come up with that so quickly? Wait. Do you still have one of my jumpers? You still have one of my jumpers!
“Right.”
Wow. That worked! Charlie, you’re amazing.
“Uh, well, don’t forget we’re going to Grandma’s this morning, Charlie.”
Oh no. He’s busy. I shouldn’t have come here. Now is not the time to have this conversation. He needs to visit his grandma.
“You could at least change out of your pyjamas.”
Pyjamas? They’re his… oh my God. How did he just get more adorable? That’s why his hair is so fluffy. He’s just got out of bed. He’s gone all shy. That’s what he sleeps in. God, stop picturing him in bed! Stop looking. He’s looking at me. For the love of God, Nick, stop smiling!
“Let’s go to my room.”
Yeah. Your room. Good idea. Somewhere more private. Where we won’t be interrupted again. Somewhere I can talk to you. God, Charlie. I need to talk to you.
His bedroom feels different somehow. I know I’ve been here before, but it feels… different. How? Ugh! Ok, the door’s closed. He’s here. I’m here. Why does he look so sad? Ok, get on with it, Nick.
“Uh…” Just say the things you thought about this morning. “So…”
“I’m so sorry.”
Wait. What? Why are you sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about.
“I’m so sorry. It was… I didn’t think properly about what I was doing…”
Really? It seemed properly thought out to me. I was certainly thinking properly about it.
“… and it was a stupid thing to do...”
Stupid? What? No. I didn’t think it was stupid. Do you think it was stupid? Shit.
“… and I don’t want you to feel awkward about it…”
I don’t feel awkward. Do you feel awkward? I feel shitty that I left, but I don’t feel awkward.
“… because it was all my fault…”
“Charlie, hang on.” That’s enough. It’s not your fault. There is no fault.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
What? Shit. Is that what you think? Nooo Charlie. I wanted to kiss you. I loved kissing you. You absolutely should have kissed me.
“I bet you just felt pressured to do it because I asked…”
Well, no, actually. I wanted to kiss you. So badly. Will you stop!? Stop spiralling!
“… and now you probably don’t want to talk to me ever again, but…”
I’m trying to talk to you Charlie. I want to talk to you. Don’t you dare push me away.
“… I at least had to say sorry…”
There’s nothing to be sorry for. Shut up. Stop talking.
“See if maybe there’s a chance, we can still be friends.”
“Charlie.” Let me speak. No saying sorry. I’m touching him again. This feels right.
“I don’t want to lose you because I did something stupid.”
“Charlie!” Do I finally have your attention? Is that what it takes? My hands on your face?
Ok, Nick. He’s quiet. Now’s the time. Talk to him. All those things you wanted to say this morning. Say them to him. Now. Crap. What were those things? He’s just so adorable with his face in my hands. God, touching him is just so right. Is it bad I want to kiss him again right now? No! I can’t! I have things I need to say. I stressed about it all night. I need to say them to him. Quick. God, his eyes. His beautiful eyes. They’re so big. Staring at me. And his lips. They’re right there. Oh, but I want to kiss him. So badly. Then he’d see he didn’t upset me. It wasn’t stupid. Not a mistake. But I came here to talk. Would he even want to kiss me again?
Fuck it!
