Chapter Text
LUCAS POV
"On Christmas Day, Monty, announced at dinner he had another present for Tabby, the best present of all. Sitting at the head of the table, he looked gentle and refined also proud of himself." I took a stop from reading the book as I looked up at Max, still in the same position she had been in since getting to the hospital.
I looked at the time, a few minutes before 7 pm, I needed to go ahead and leave. I closed the book Floating Dragon By Peter Straub. It was one from Max's room. She had a lot of horror books, barely any girly ones, just comics, and thriller-related books and tapes. This was the last book there, I don't know what I'll read to her next. Eleven told me about how Max was just "gone" and that even if she was dead El would still be able to see her, this was different it was something Vecna did to her.
Mike told me what El did to save her and sure I was grateful but what did he want me to say? Get on my knees and thank her? Congratulate her? Him telling me that just filled me with this sensation of grief and anger all at once, she healed her? she saved her? Then why isn't she awake? Why is she just gone like she has no soul? It frustrates me to think this way but I can't help it.
I walked down the hall as I saw other patients and nurses tending to them. It has been 2 months since the earthquakes and Hawkins wasn't getting a smidge better, more people began to leave when the thunderstorms of red lightning started to come and go. Hawkins became a real-life experiment, test subject, whatever you want to call it. Scientists and the Military came in troves countless of them came in with new rules and regulations the townspeople had to follow. It was a live testing ground.
The only people still in Hawkins were ones with no money or nowhere to go. The Wheelers didn't have any family they could stay with so Ms. Wheeler decided to stay but she never went into town, whether it was for food or other appliances Nancy would go. Whenever Nancy and Mike left their house they had a specific time they needed to be home and if they were late Mrs. Wheeler would create havoc when they got home. Dustin and his mom chose to stay, not because they didn't have the money but frankly their house is so far away from where the portals and destruction are, that they're typically safe from any Upside Down activities. The Byers and Hoppers were of course staying, they are determined to kill Vecna and end this once in for all. My family, the Sinclairs, isn't so simple.
My grandmother invited us to live with her and from my knowledge, we will be moving out soon, my dad was able to transfer his job and my mom is extremely stressed out. I don't want to go. I pleaded to stay for max and it worked for a few weeks but my mom is at her breaking point and she won't leave me here no matter how much I argue, even with erica having my back, our parents won't change their minds.
I exited the hospital and began to ride my bike home, Erica doesn't come with me anymore, I blew up at her. Not in the way siblings insult each other, I yelled at her. My temper has gotten out of control, when everyone looks at me or tries to give me advice it just pisses me off. I don't need your pity, I don't need your advice.
Everyone is already over what happened as if it didn't happen. Eddie died! Max is in Coma! Why am I the only one who is grieving? It's hypocritical, Dustin and WIll hated that I was trying to 'move on in my life' by playing basketball and wanting to be popular so we all could be, and now their moving on with their lives while I'm staying here because I won't leave max behind. I hate how everyone is just ignoring it, focusing on something else, and looking at me as if I'm behind.
I guess it should be easy, she didn't die in your arms, you didn't see her bones snap in front of your eyes, you weren't the reason this happened to her. I hate myself. I'm the reason Vecna got to Max, I'm the reason the portals opened, I'm the reason this is all happening. I felt the tears swell in my eyes, I stopped to rub them but it only made it worse, tears just kept coming faster and faster. All I can remember is that day in the arcade when I asked that stupid question. "Do you accept the risk?"
WILL POV
We all met up at the cabin, everyone except for Lucas that is. I understood why he was broken, God knows I would be just like him if something happened to mom or Jonathan. I'm heartbroken about Max but if I just sit there grieving nothing will happen, we won't be able to wake Max back up until Vecna and everything from the Upside Down is destroyed for good. That's why we're here this late at night, to create our plan.
Nancy and Jonathan were marking spots on the Hawkins map, Hopper was loading his gun with Mom beside him, and Steve was at the shelter with Robin and Dustin. Mike and I sat beside each other as we waited for Eleven to take off her blindfold. She was searching for Signs of Vecna, we saw a pattern whenever the thunderstorm started he was doing something, one just finished an hour ago and hopefully, we can find a trace of him. El finally arose from her searching as everyone turned to her.
"It's not Henry," El said drinking a cup of water Mike gave her. "Just the mind Flayer. "
"What's the shit doing?" Hopper said with a bit of crankiness in his voice.
"It is doing something, leaving traces of itself and going back into hiding" El responded.
"You think he could be trying to find a host?" Nancy asked.
"Why he has Vecna" Jonathan commented
"But he turned Will to a host before and all those people last year. " Mike retorted. "It's safe to assume Henry was around then too."
"So what if he's trying to make an army again" Joyce wondered.
Mike walked in circles as he spoke "Demogorgons are worse than people. if it's for firepower it's just wasting time."
"Maybe human shields to distract us." Hopper shrugged.
"Or a spy," I spoke. Everyone turned to me. "I can still feel him, sometimes around town I'll pass someone and get a chill up my spine. What if he's not making an army this time or a hostage." My hands started to shake a bit. Thinking this already made me fear for the worst, but saying it would only cement it.
I took a deep breath and continued. "What if he is trying to get a spy, an assassin to kill me, someone who can tell where he is and when he is taking action."
Mom ran over and hugged me trying to comfort me swearing that she wouldn't let anyone hurt me.
"If anyone comes for you we'll just take them out," Hopper commented finished loading his gun.
"No!" I exclaimed in panic. "We don't have to kill them, do we? we cant just free them? I don't want innocent people to die."
"we would have to capture them and then get something hot enough to free them." Jonothan pointed out.
"No," El said. "I'm stronger than before, I am sure I can free them with a mind touch. If we find them we can save them all, and hopefully, it leads us to Vecna."
Everyone was in agreement, and that reassured me, being flayed was terrifying for me it was like looking at myself through a lens and doing horrible things. I don't want anyone to die for choices they didn't make. I looked at El and we smiled at each other.
"All right, starting tomorrow we search, Will and El, you guys will have to be our radars we find out who each person is, find out what symptoms they show so we know what to look for and then we make our plan of action to free them." Hopper ordered. "Go home, get some sleep, and be careful not to bring attention yourself."
LUCAS POV
I made it to the trailer homes and parked my bike at Ms. Mayfield's house. I knocked a few times with no answer. But I did hear music on the radio. I had been taking care of Ms. Mayfield when she found out what happened to her daughter, it pushed her over the edge, she would drink herself away and I don't want that to happen. Other than Max's dad she is all Max has left, she would be devastated if she woke up to not having a mom. I could at least make sure Ms. Mayfield was looked after.
I opened the door to see her flat drunk waving around a liquor bottle, she had throw-up on her shoulder and she was slightly dancing and singing in a circle.
"Ms. Mayfield?" I walked over to her cautiously.
"Oh Lucas!" she squealed amused. "Your back again, isn't it dangerous this late at night? Do you like me that much?
She fell on me but I was able to catch her before we both fell. "Woah, you took too much to drink let's get you to bed."
"No, no, no you've done enough I'm fine."
I reached for the bottle in her hand "here let me take that"
She snapped at me "Give me my damn bottle!"
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"
"Didn't mean to what!?" she yelled. she sat on her bed and looked at me with a slouched angry face and pointed at me. "You, it's all you."
I didn't respond, Ms.Mayfield would get like this from time to time but I have never seen her snap like that. She was soft, with a little temper but that was all. I lost my train of thought as she continued.
"Every day I look at her in that hospital slowly dying. I thought how the hell am I supposed to keep doing this." She waved her bottle around as she talked making alcohol splash out. "How the hell am I supposed to keep living when everything has gone to shit since we moved here! My husband's shitty son, then he left me too, and now my daughter."
She then looked me dead in my eyes her voice becoming deep and serious.
"It all started with you, she met you, it's all because of you, isn't it! Lucas!" My breath became shaky as she was speaking exactly what I had been thinking over and over for the past month. She then pointed at me. "You killed Billy. You killed my marriage. You killed my daughter!! And Your killing me..."
She pulled her arm back and launched her bottle at me, I covered my face in surprise.
SHATTER!
It didn't hit me. It landed on the wall beside me, her vision was too wobbly to hit me, but that didn't matter her words were enough to hurt me. She yelled at me to get out repeatedly as I walked out I grabbed my bike and slowly began to walk, I didn't have the energy to get on my bike.
Everything she said was true, it was my fault. My fault, my fault, my fault!! I don't deserve to see Max, everything I did to her all the pain she has gone through because of me. Even with Vecna, I wasn't there for her I didn't look at her it was my fault again, I couldn't stop Jason, I couldn't help max, I couldn't defend her.
Useless. That's what I was, and that's why everything went to shit.
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The sun was out, the weather was calm, the calmest it's been since the earthquakes. Me and Dustin were cycling to the shelter, Mike had filled us in on the plan so we decided to scope out the area and see if there may be anyone who has gotten flayed. It was hard to look forward, my eyes were droopy, and I had constant jumpiness, my body was extremely tense, and I was tired. I hadn't slept last night, I couldn't when my body was overwhelmed with heartache, it hurt so much it was like drowning and getting a small breath of air when I hit my limit. My eyes kept getting filled with tears but none would ever come out. I had trouble sleeping for a while now but this was different.
"So are we gonna talk about not seeing Max just now?" Dustin roared as he peddled a few feet behind me.
I didn't answer him, saying Max's name made me shudder and remember last night with her mom. On our way we passed the hospital earlier, I guess it surprised him that we didn't stop. But Ms. Mayfield's car was there, just seeing a glimpse made me keep cycling.
"Lucas!!" He screeched, it was a cry for a short break and wanting an answer.
I sighed and we stopped our backs a few streets away from the shelter we sat down in front of a gas station, one of the few still open, He gave me my face mask in case we wanted to buy some water.
The Military made it mandatory to wear face masks when outside, the ghostly flakes had been continuously falling down since the first storm. Most people believe there's a disease spreading, or some super-secret underground gas pipe that burst causing the flakes, all just rumors of course. After a month, most of the hicks stop wearing the mask, complaining about their rights and typical things like that, I didn't agree with their mindset but I knew the flakes weren't harmful, Dustin told me about the Upside Down, they didn't were any facemask and their still completely fine.
I rested my mask on my chin as I could feel Dustin's eye burn into my socket, I wrapped my arms around my knees and hid my face as I told him. "Her Mom..."
"What about her?"
"She...." I groaned. "She basically told me to leave them alone, she hates me."
"Was she drunk?"
"Yea but, when your drunk you tell how you truly feel right?"
"Or you just say stupid things you don't mean" Dustin added trying to cheer me up.
"Well, I know she meant this." I kept replaying the events in my head over and over. I couldn't help it.
"I'm sure that-"
"Just drop it, Dustin!" I snapped at him.
He looked at me, startled, then looked down at his shoes. "Fine."
I didn't mean to yell at him like that, I don't think I've ever yelled at Dustin like that before. What's wrong with me? Why am I exploding on the people on my side? I clenched my fist in frustration trying to control my breathing, my anger was starting to get the better of me.
While we sat, the door opened and 4 teens walked out with soda in hand they had on the Hawkins Jerseys, The jocks. They jumped in the truck until one caught us in the corner of his eye, it was Andy, the one that tackled Erica.
"Look who it is!" Andy said with a sinister grin. "It's the Hellfire club" the other jocks stood behind him, their jackets all had Jason's basketball number on them as a tribute to his loss. They all blamed me, they believed I killed him and told the police that he was killed by the earthquake even though it was technically true.
I stood up and glared at Andy, just seeing the jocks lit a fire in me, it was a target for my anger. It was because they intervened and spread rumors that things went to shit. They couldn't help but be heroes like the justice league or something, but that was just a stupid disguise they were all insane psychopaths like Jason. Memories of their actions flew into my mind, them beating up Eddie's friends, threatening Nancy, preparing to kill all my friends, and hurting my little sister.
"You better watch where your standing, the police may have unruled you guys as the cause of this but we know you did this. We know you summoned some monster to kill Jason, Chrissy, and Patrick." He got closer to me right in my face and whispered in my "And I'm gonna put a end to it, to you, personally. Fucking Ape."
That made me explode as I swung my fist hitting Andy right in the face, he recovered to tackle me but Dustin and the others separated us as other people ran out from the commotion, before we knew it there was a crowd.
"Hey-hey-hey! What's going on basketball team!" Dustin put himself in the middle to calm the hostile area. "I'm Dustin nice to meet you" he put his hand out for a shake but Andy didn't take it. "That's a nice handshake you got there. Uh, it was good seeing you guys keep up the good work keeping the Hawkins spirit alive in these tough times."
I huffed and puffed angrily trying to control myself, I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to kill him, but Dustin saved me if he hadn't jumped in I would've gotten jumped and no one would've broken it up. Everyone that was left in Hawkins either believed that the hellfire club caused it or was just angry racist.
A military truck pulled in and a soldier looked at us, it was a signal to stop, or things would get even worse than it was now.
"Better watch out Sinclair!" Andy barked as the jocks forced him into the truck.
"I'll fuckin kill you," I thought I said it in my head but I didn't, the people watching looked at me with this look. This look I hadn't seen in so long. When I joined the basketball team I stopped getting those looks, I guess because I was a part of something they liked, but now those smiles turn back to those disgusting looks I've seen since moving here. Looks of disgust, hatred, spite, and horror.
I got them a lot when I first moved here and even more when people would see me and Max as a couple in middle school. Hawkins was a small town one-half full of nice respectful people, but the other half, dirty hicks wanting to hunt something as a show of power.
My vision got wobbly as I couldn't control my breathing. Their eyes felt like giants towering over me as they kept whispering, it was loud and constant over and over and over, irritating me. Everything got dizzy and I could barely walk, it was like everything went slow-motion then sped up over and over. I could hear Dustin calling my name repeatedly. I was having a panic attack.
Dustin rushed me to the bathroom in the gas station and I fell to my knees staring at the floor as my heart beat faster than ever before. my hands were shaking, my skin was tingling, I felt like I could throw up. I could hear Dustin's panicking getting more and more frantic.
"Lucas? Lucas!" Dustin sat on his knees in front of me. "What do I do are you okay!"
"I-" I couldn't get my breathing under control. "I think I'm having a panic attack."
"Okay, Okay, Okay!" Dustin was so frantic it made me get worse my body felt like a tiger was chasing me. "take off your shoes!"
"What?"
"Take them off get comfortable!!" He yelled.
I took off my shoes in a hurry and sat on my butt leaning against the wall as I tried to control my breathing.
"Okay think about good things things that will calm you down. Think about Friends, Family! Think about Max"
We shared a look and I groaned in even more pain
"Sorry sorry!" Dustin was searching his head for solutions and his eyes light up with an idea. "Think about the snowball. Think about our dnd sessions back in 5th grade. Think about the Arcade, Our bike races, our Science club victories."
Dustin's voice sounded so sweet as he said those words, memories of my friends flooded my mind with good times. Times before Will got lost. Mike, Dustin, Will, and Me. The original party, how I missed those days; sometimes I wish I could go back there, back when we were nobodies that simply enjoyed each other's company, no drama, no demogorgons, no trauma.
Before I knew it my heart got steady, I stopped shaking, my heartbeat slowed, and the world stopped being blurry.
We both sat in exhaustion as we caught our breath and sighed in relief.
"Thanks... Dustin." I spoke, breathlessly.
He looked at me and analyzed me "Lucas, you gotta talk to Ms. Kelly."
Ms. Kelly, the school counselor turned therapist for Hawkins. She and a few other teachers became therapists for Hawkins, it was mandatory for everyone to see one of them for guidance since the earthquakes took multiple lives.
"I've never seen you like this before, I'm worried about you."
I looked at him, I saw the concern in his eyes, he was almost tearing up. He was right, I didn't act like this normally. I've always been cautious and a little mean but this was beyond that level, I was just a pot of boiling water constantly spilling out of the pot.
"Tomorrow."
He looked at me with a sense of relief "Tomorrow?"
"I'll go tomorrow."
Dustin stood up and pulled his hand out for me to grab it. "let's get it out of here."
I chuckled as he grinned at me "Lemme put my shoes on first."