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Akito wondered how the scene before him came to be. It was so different compared to anything he had ever seen before — so different to all the times Akito had watched Toya glide effortlessly across the ice rink with so much elegance and grace that Akito could’ve easily mistook him from an angel.
Actually, he had thought Toya was one when he first laid eyes on Toya — Akito remembered it vividly.
Grunting, Akito pulled his leg through his shin guard and grumbled when he it ended up too high on his leg. He adjusted it to fit as it should and stood up, stretching his arms over his head and wincing at the way his shoulders popped.
With a sigh, Akito left the locker room and headed out to the ice rink. Akito opened his mouth, ready to shout at the figure skater currently skating a reminder that they had ten minutes before it was time for the ice hockey team to practice, but Akito froze at the sight before him.
The figure skater jumped and was twirling through the air, his arms folded neatly over his chest. It all happened in a quick moment, but Akito thought he was seeing it in slow motion.
Akito could see every detail of his face — grey, half-lidded eyes, the mole underneath his left one, dual-colored bangs flowing through the air, slightly tinted lips; everything.
It was all, to put it simply, absolutely gorgeous.
Gorgeous — it was definitely gorgeous, but it was more than just that. Akito didn’t even know how to describe the way the dual-haired man elegantly twirled through the air with more grace than he could ever imagine.
Akito thought he could see feathery wings spurting from the skater’s back, it was just like an angel.
Akito was so lost in his awe for the stranger skating beautifully across the ice that he didn’t notice when said stranger had landed back on the ice and stopped in front of him curiously.
For a few moments, Akito didn’t process any of the words that came out of the ice-skater’s mouth. Akito snapped out of his trance with a subtle shake of his head just to catch the last bit of his sentence.
“…did I go into your team’s practice? I’m sorry.”
When Akito didn’t respond, he received a look mixed with confusion and concern. “Are you okay?”
“You’re a really pretty angel,” Akito blurted before he could even think better of it and he immediately shut his mouth closed a second later.
The skater blinked in surprise, “eh?”
Realizing what he just said, Akito fought back the urge to hide his face in an embarrassed panic. “Your skating!” he said in an almost pathetic attempt to clarify what he meant. “…your skating is really pretty — it’s uh, almost like an angel.”
Taken off guard, the skater stuttered, “oh — th-thank you, uh,” he paused, looking towards Akito with an unsure look.
“Shinonome,” Akito answered. “Shinonome Akito.”
The skater bowed his head in thanks. “Thank you, Shinonome-san. My name is Aoyagi Toya.”
From then on, it wasn’t unusual for olive green eyes to follow the the trail of feathers from angelic wings. The way Toya skated was mesmerizing, beautifully indescribable — it was such a stark contrast to the way Akito would charge aggressively without even an ounce of the same beauty that this skater had.
Akito wasn’t sure how it happened, but he knew he couldn’t be more happy with the friendship — relationship, that had formed between the two over time. Akito would start coming earlier to watch Toya practice and sometimes Toya would stay later and watch his ice hockey practice.
Akito was pretty sure he didn’t deserve an angel like Toya.
…but if Toya was an angel, then his wings were broken.
Because in that moment, Toya was not soaring across the ice rink with practiced ease and elegance — no, he was laying on his side, pressing his knee close to his chest and hands gripping his ice skate almost dangerously.
Akito was pretty sure there were the sounds of the audience’s whispers and panicked shouts echoing in the grand ice skating rink, but Akito couldn’t hear any of it.
He wasn’t even sure what he could hear. Akito only found himself standing completely still, shell-shocked. The bouquet of flowers he had bought on his way here for Toya had slipped from his grip long ago.
Having had his own ice hockey competition less than an hour ago, Akito barely made it to see Toya take flight on the ice rink. He remembered the rush of adrenaline he felt and the smile that tugged at his lips until his cheeks were already feeling sore. Akito watched Toya fly and thought about his beauty for what was surely more than the thousandth time…but it wasn’t long before Toya came crashing down.
If asked to retell the events of that day, Akito wouldn’t know how to explain it. He remembered all of it and none of it. There were days he would struggle to recall what happened and then there were days where Akito had the scene of him jumping over the wall of the rink and rushing to Toya’s side in an instance almost on loop.
If there was one thing Akito couldn’t forget though, it was the worry that almost consumed him whole that day and the utter relief that he felt the moment he heard Toya was okay. Ena who had come to pick him up from the hospital told him he nearly collapsed from relief.
Akito also vaguely remember the amount of sleep or rather, the lack of sleep that he got throughout Toya’s stay at the hospital. He found himself sitting at Toya’s bedside for however long he could more often than not and would be kept awake with nothing but his anxiety and concern. Ena had to drag him home from the hospital several times and Akito had only allow it to happen begrudgingly when Toya scolded him for neglecting his health.
Akito still tried to be by Toya’s side whenever he could — he even took a break from hockey for awhile.
Now though, Toya had recovered and it had been nearly a year since that incident and Toya still had yet to set foot on the ice rink again.
Although Toya’s recovery hadn’t gone exactly smooth, he was able to walk by himself after a few months and return to most of his everyday activities. Yet…Toya had been unable to bring himself to ice skate. Akito didn’t know for sure why, but it wasn’t hard to guess — especially for him. He had been by Toya’s side the entire time after all.
Akito was there the day of and the following days of the accident — he saw the way Toya’s eyes darkened and the tears that spilled from grey eyes. Akito was there on the nights Toya had nightmares about his failure and the days Toya cried into his shirt and struggled to walk properly. Akito was there the moment Toya had tried to take flight again…and Akito was there when Toya had broken down a few steps into the rink.
Even if neither would say it aloud, they both knew that Toya was scared to skate again.
Akito wasn’t surprised that he was. After all, that was Toya’s first major injury and it was bad, - Toya still had a slight limp from the injury - coupled by the fact he had to be pulled from a competition he had been training for for so long and worked so hard for.
(sometimes, Akito thought he could see the ghost of that failure trailing behind every step Toya took.)
He remembered coming to his local ice rink at early hours of the morning or hours before his hockey practice started. Akito remembered watching all the hours Toya put into perfecting every jump, every routine, every minuscule detail he could. He also remembered how Toya would stay on the days where Akito had practice and he wondered how Toya could watch him with such awe when Akito could never come close to Toya’s charm on the ice even if he tried.
Akito wondered how Toya could still watch him after his injury, continuing to give Akito his full support every game he had and genuinely praising Akito’s playing and skills every time.
He wondered how Toya would watch him even when he wasn’t practicing or playing at a game, just mindlessly skating across the ice rink with no one other than himself and Toya.
Akito missed when Toya used to skate beside him as they talked about the most mundane things or led each other around the rink with interlocked hands.
Skidding to a stop on the ice, Akito shook the thought out of his head and sighed. He opened the gate to the ice rink and stepped out. Toya, who was sitting on the bench, looked up from his phone curiously at the click of the door. Upon spotting him, Toya gave him a small wave accompanied by a soft, close-eyed smile.
Akito returned the smile and began digging through his bag to find his water bottle. Finding it, he took a sip, peeking at Toya out of the corner of his eye who scrolled his phone absentmindedly as he did.
Setting down the bottle on the bench, Akito turned and stared at Toya who seemed content to sit on the sidelines with his phone as Akito skated. Yet Akito knew he wasn’t. Akito knew Toya wanted to skate again — he could see it in the way Toya’s leg bounced up and down repeatedly as if begging to move and the way Toya’s eyes would flicker to Akito with envy on occasion as he skated.
Toya wanted to skate again and Akito wanted to see him skate again too, and even if they were both aware of the former, they were both even more aware - painfully so - that Toya was afraid.
Akito opened the gate to go back into the ice rink, but hesitated, glancing back towards Toya. Before he could think better of it, Akito used one hand to hold the door open as he turned back and offered the other to Toya.
“Toya.”
At the sound of his name, Toya perked up and Akito saw the moment Toya’s eyes widened, staring at the hand extended towards him. “Akito,” Toya replied quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Do you want to?” Akito asked.
For a few moments, Toya’s only response was his almost intense gaze fixed onto Akito’s hand as Akito held his breath. Toya screwed his eyes shut and turned his head away. “I can’t.”
Akito let his arm fall to the side and his shoulders sagged, the breath he was holding seeping slowly out of him. He was expecting that answer, yet it still hurt to hear — not the rejection part though. Rather, it hurt to hear that Toya didn’t think he could ice skate again.
“But you want to,” Akito protested softly.
Hesitating, Toya’s mouth opened and closed multiple times, unsure how to respond. Rubbing his right arm anxiously, Toya opened his eyes and dropped his gaze to the floor. “…I do,” he admitted.
“Ne, Toya,” Akito started and Toya lifted his head. “What if I tried figure skating?”
“Eh?”
Taking a deep breath, Akito continued. “I can quit hockey and learn how to figure skate.”
“Akito, it’s not that easy —“
“I know, Toya. I know it won’t be easy, but…” Akito trailed off, he dipped his head and his bangs casted a shadow over his bangs. He stared at the floor as unspoken words lodged themself into his throat that suddenly felt dry. He had been thinking about it for awhile, - ever since Akito realized he didn’t have the same passion for hockey anymore and was holding back his team by continuing to act as their captain - he had thought and agonized over what words to say and how to ask Toya, but all that time thinking seemed to be fruitless as Akito’s voice died in his throat.
“…but?” Toya prompted gently.
Forcing himself to swallow the lump in this throat, Akito parted his lips and spoke. “If — if I learned how to figure skate…and there was a day where you can ice skate again,” Akito raised his head and looked at Toya, “would you like to do pair skating with me?”
“Pair skating…with you?” Toya asked, eyes wide and jaw hanging open as Akito’s words processed through his mind.
“With me,” Akito confirmed.
Slowly, Toya blinked once. Twice. “Akito, I…”
Shaking his head, Akito felt himself deflate. “It’s okay if you don’t have your answer now — or if you never have your answer. Whatever you decide, I’ll be here by your side, alright?” Nervously, Akito chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze. “It was just an idea anyway, don’t feel pressured to do it or anythin’.”
Instantly, Toya stood from the bench. “No, Akito—“ Toya reached out for Akito’s hand and continued, “I-I want to.”
“I want to…” he repeated, voice suddenly trembling and hand faltering. “…but can I?”
Akito reached out and slipped his hand into Toya’s. “Of course you can, Toya. And if you don’t think you can, I’ll help you until you can.”
“Akito, what do you—“ Toya started, but cut himself off with a yelp as Akito let go of Toya’s and easily scooped Toya into his arms. In a panic, Toya threw his arms around Akito’s neck and shut his eyes causing Akito to lightly chuckle.
“I’ll be your wings, Toya,” Akito said softly. “I’ll help you fly again.”
“Akito…”
Slowly, Akito took a careful step towards the opened gate and gestured to the ice with a tilt of his head. “Can I?” he asked.
Biting his lower lip, Toya lifted his head from Akito’s shoulder and eyed the ice anxiously. Akito could feel the way Toya slightly trembled in his arms and he began doubting whether or not this was really a good. Akito started to turn back towards the bench before Toya suddenly tightened his grip around Akito’s neck, the strength of it almost making him choke.
“…okay,” Akito heard through his attempts to regain his bearings. “But be careful,” Toya added and loosened his grip slightly. Not much, but enough that Akito didn’t feel choked.
Akito glanced down towards Toya, parting his lips to ask if it was really okay, but he paused at the determined look in Toya’s eyes.
(Akito didn’t miss the subtle fear in them.)
Exhaling, Akito adjusted his grip on Toya’s shoulder and looked at him with as if to ask if Toya was absolutely sure. Toya only nodded in response and Akito gave him a soft and reassuring smile. His smile soon became a smirk at the words he spoke next, hoping to lighten the mood. “I’m never not careful,” he shot back confidently.
In any other situation, Akito was sure that Toya would roll his eyes and smack his arm lightly, but the taller male was currently too occupied clinging to Akito’s neck like a koala.
“Pinch me somewhere if you wanna go back, okay? Do it hard too so we make sure I notice.”
Akito heard Toya take a deep breath - his cold breath brushing against Akito’s chest and seeping through his black turtleneck - and nodded.
Cautiously, Akito put one foot onto the ice and immediately, Toya stiffened. For a few moments, Akito waited to see if Toya wanted to back out. But when no pinch came, Akito put his other foot onto the ice and took a few slow strides forward. Akito whispered a few reassurances to Toya and reminded him that he could back out whenever.
Akito felt Toya shift slightly in his arms and the sound of Toya’s voice, but Akito couldn’t make out what he was saying. Toya’s voice was muffled due to the fact Toya’s head was currently buried in Akito’s shoulder.
Akito slowed and glanced down towards Toya. “What’d you say, Toya?”
“Keep talking,” Toya whispered, his voice almost pleading. “Voice is nice and distracting.”
Softly, Akito smiled and instantly began chattering away, talking about various mundane things; annoying An’s had been as of late (especially after getting together with Kohane), how he had to pick up some stuff for Ena on the way back home later, and just whatever came to his mind. Akito could hear Toya’s muffled hums acknowledging his words yet he never responded more than that. Akito didn’t mind, one-sided conversations like this weren’t unusual between the two.
Overtime, Toya’s grip around his neck loosened bit by bit, but he barely lifted his head from Akito’s shoulder. Akito imagined it was partially due to his fear of heights.
Akito’s arms ended up getting too tired out to continue before Toya wanted to stop which seemed to surprise Toya as much as it did Akito.
Carefully, Akito set Toya down on the bench and it took a moment for Toya to release his arms from around Akito’s neck. Toya took deep breaths and closed his eyes, Akito could see the tension slowly seeping out of his body.
“I—that…it was —“ Toya frowned, struggling to form the proper words. Akito sat down on the bench besides Toya and began untying the laces of his ice skates as he waited patiently for Toya to sort out his thoughts. Akito didn’t expect the word that Toya settled on to describe the experience though. “Nice,” Toya eventually said without anything else.
Akito blinked in surprise before letting out a laugh. “I’m glad. We can do it again whenever you want.”
Toya smiled and nodded.
Humming quietly, Akito finished taking off his ice skates and stuffed them alongside his water bottle into his bag. Throwing his bag onto his shoulder, Akito looked back towards Toya and gestured at the exit. Toya collected his stuff and stood up from the bench, following Akito out the gate.
As the two left the ice rink, a comfortable silence settled between the two as Akito absentmindedly texted Ena that he was on his way home and would pick up her pudding or something — it was probably pudding.
“I think,” Toya started, voice shaky and Akito instantly gave all his attention to Toya. “One day, I want to fly again,” Toya said, suddenly grabbing Akito’s hand and holding it in-between two of his own — Akito nearly jumped at the abrupt warmth surrounding his hand and had to resist the urge to look away when heat began rushing to his face. “If you’re willing to wait for me, Akito, I want to try.”
Akito huffed and leaned closer to Toya, raising his other hand to Toya’s face to cup his cheek. “You know I’ll wait however long it takes you, Toya,” Akito said, leaning in even further. “And when that day comes, you better know that I’ll be your wings and help you fly again until we can fly together.”
For several moments, Akito could only hear the sound of Toya’s breaths — cold breaths that brushed against his skin. Eventually, Toya closed his eyes and Akito was being pulled into a kiss before he could even think.
It wasn’t a short or sweet kiss, it was long and quite clumsy kiss that deprived both of them of almost all their air. The clumsy part was a surprise to neither of them given Akito was pretty sure neither of them had had their first kiss yet, - a surprise considering the fact they were dating each other - but still they made it work (somewhat) and enjoyed it nonetheless. They were too absorbed in the moment to care about what a disaster of a first kiss it was anyway — they could always try again later.
Turns out, when their lips parted after Akito had break away to gasp for air, Toya wasn’t done — Toya immediately wrapped Akito into a firm hug as he was still trying to regain his breath. “Thank you, Akito,” Toya said, his voice cracking and Akito felt something wet on his shoulder. Toya was crying. “I — I can’t wait to fly with you.”
Akito let out a huff and melted into Toya’s embrace, lifting lifted his arms and returning the hug. He rubbed Toya’s back comfortingly as Akito snuggled his red face into Toya’s shoulder and smiled. “Me too, Toya.”