Chapter Text
It had been about a month since the Vecna fight, and the town was still healing. Despite Vecna's defeat and an overall victory, the damages caused by him were vast, and there was a lot of work to do to build the town back up. The most literal healing being done was by El’s best friend, Max Mayfield. Max had been killed by the human-turned monster, Vecna, and somehow escaped death in a phenomenon no doctor could explain. The whole ordeal caused a lot of confusion from the hospital staff.
El could care less about how Max survived, just the fact that she did. She was in no way ready to lose someone that important to her. Especially after fighting so hard for her, and seeing Max fight hard too. Not only for herself, but for The Whole town, maybe even the world. Max was the last person to deserve death, and the last person to deserve laying in a hospital bed, unconscious, unmoving, and unresponsive for months. El had to admit though, that this outcome was much favorable to the first.
El turned her attention away from her unconscious friend to the friend sitting beside her near Max's head. El wasn’t sure of the state of Lucas and Max’s relationship but she wasn’t sure it really mattered. In the last note she had received from Max, she mentioned a breakup, but did not go into any detail. El wrote back with some questions, but Max never responded. At this moment, El’s questions about the state of her friends romance were pushed far back into her mind. It didn’t matter now. What mattered was that lucas was right here, reading to Max, despite not being sure she can even hear the stories he’s telling her. If that’s not an act of love, El isn’t sure what is.
El and Lucas have been taking turns spending time with Max for the past month. At first it, was carefully planned, each having a slot of time to themself. Eventually those slots melded together, and El and Lucas spent more and more of their time with Max in each-others company.
El was a fan of Lucas being there. She had to admit that most of the time she spent with Max alone, was complete silence. She only only occasionally read a comic out loud, but she was nowhere near as good of a reader as Lucas. He had years of school experience ahead of her. He even did character voices. That was something El loved about sitting next to him as he read to Max. If Max truly couldn’t hear these stories, at least El could enjoy it for her. Lucas finished off todays chapter and closed the book. El felt a bit disappointed that story time was over.
“Leaving her on a cliffhanger?” El asked.
Lucas rolled his eyes. “I have a feeling you are a bit more invested in this book than she is”
El frowned. “We don’t know that she can’t hear us. She could be enjoying this book more than any other book she’s ever read!”
Lucas shook his head. “It’s a romance book El. I bet if she could, she’d slap this book out of my hand and demand I get something less sappy, with more action.”
El looked back at her friend in the hospital bed and furrowed her brows.
“I think she has had enough action in her life. Maybe she would prefer something more romantic and slow?”
Lucas pressed his lips together thoughtfully. “I guess you have a point.”
A long moment passed as El gazed at her friend. She hoped that this was the last action adventure Max would ever have to be a part of. Els' heart sank at the idea of Max ever needing to deal with any more pain in her life. She’d had enough of it. From what El had gathered from knowing and observing the girl, her life had always been uncomfortable at the very least, and unbearable at worst. El couldn’t fathom how someone as amazing as Max Mayfield deserved any of that.
Els' thoughts were interrupted by Lucas clearing his throat. She must have been quiet for too long.
El turned towards Lucas and cracked a small smile at him. He awkwardly smiled back.
“So, how are things going with you and Mike?”
The question caught El off guard. This was completely unrelated. She had this habit of forgetting about the outside world while in this hospital room. During this time, everything that mattered was in this room. El and Max were the only people in the world.
Lucas too. She added in her mind.
It took her a moment to consider the question as she shifted her brain back into the outside world.
“We are good!” She responded with a smile.
Lucas nodded and looked back at Max. “That’s good.”
The question of Lucas and Max cane back into El’s mind. She wasn’t sure why it was coming up again. She knew they’d been broken up for a while, but in the snippets she saw of Max's last moments, she could recognize in Lucas what she imagines is the truest love anyone could feel. There was no way it could end there. But looking at the pain in Lucas’s eyes as he gazed at his unconscious ex, El felt she probably shouldn't open up that discussion.
El thought back to what Mike had told her while she was fighting Vecna. His speech helped her find the strength to keep fighting, and not to give up despite the position she was in. In that moment, El felt more loved than she ever had been before, but at the same time, she could only feel a fraction of the love she noticed Lucas had for Max. She wondered if her and Mike would ever have love like that..
El was suddenly jerked out of her thoughts as she could hear the distinct sound of the honk from Hopper's truck from stories below. She groaned at her fathers laziness and complete lack of respect for any patients and doctors on the lower floors.
Lucas chuckled and El shrugged back at him.
“Bye Lucas!” She said, waving back at her friend as she made her way to the door.
He waved back smiling. “See ya later!”
El looked down at Max on the bed and smiled softly as she closed the door. “bye max”
***
Upon returning home, El was greeted by her brother, and her boyfriend sitting on the couch chatting. When they noticed her, they exchanged glances and Mike stood up.
“Hey El, Can we talk?” He asked.
Els' heart sank, but she nodded, guiding him back to her room.
Mike had become a lot more mature in the past month, becoming a better boyfriend every day, despite the large lack of actually romantic activities. Because of this, El tried to reassure herself that this was not about to become a heated argument, but rather an honest discussion of some sort. Still, her body burned with anxiety.
El couldn’t help but notice that the door was open only two inches today, not the usual 3 that they made sure to keep up if hopper was ever home. El had a feeling this observation didn’t mean anything, and if it did, it definitely didn’t mean a make-out session, based on the nervousness she picked up off of Mike.
They sat down and El silently begged Mike to speak his mind quickly before her anxiety could drift in crazy different directions. Luckily, it wasn’t long before he spoke up, avoiding eye contact.
“So… I wanted to talk about us… our relationship.”
Els' heart lurched.
“Yeah?” She responded quietly, trying to hide her anxiety.
“It’s just… you’ve just seemed really distant lately El.”He fiddled with his fingers and looked up at her. “I’m worried about you.”
El noticed something in his eyes, similar to the way Lucas would look at Max in the hospital bed. She felt like she had just gained ten pounds of guilty weight.
She awkwardly smiled at her boyfriend. “There is nothing to be worried about Mike, things are hard for all of us. It has just been hard to adjust.”
Mike sighed and looked away. “It’s not.. It's.. It’s like you aren’t here anymore…Like half your brain is here and the other half is somewhere else.” He gestures vaguely to the sky.
Els face scrunched. She guessed Mike noticed the offense in her face, as he quickly tried to explain.
“No, not like you need to do more for me, or even anyone! I’m just worried is all. We are all worried.”
“You don’t have to worry Mike, I’m fine. Really!” She says, patting his hand.
Mike's face droops, looking down at their hands and back up at El. “Friends don’t lie?”
El felt her heart thump against her chest. As doubt filled her mind.
It was at this point, El realized she wasn’t sure she even knew what fine was anymore. Everything had changed so much so fast, she had no idea what she was supposed to feel like. Truthfully, after returning to Hawkins, El barely thought about Mike, and she spent barley any time with her friends. She wasn’t sure she could answer truthfully at all.
“I actually don’t know.” She said.
“What do you mean?” Mike asked, moving his hand from under hers to replace it at the top.
“I don’t know what fine is at this point.” El admits, noticing her eyes begin to water. “Is ‘fine’ having bad feelings all the time? Is it being scared that everything could fall at any moment? Is it nightmares every night? feeling guilty? having no hope? Is it the feeling of heartbreak I feel every time I see Max in the hospital, knowing that even if she wakes up, she might never be the same again?”
El hadn’t even noticed the tears rolling down her face until she felt one smear across her cheek as Mike embraced her with the most love she’d ever felt from a hug from him. She fell into his touch and let herself cry into him, feeling safer in his arms than she ever did in her own bed. He pulled away and El immediately noticed his own eyes welled up with tears.
“You aren’t ok El, and that’s ok.”
His hand reached up to her face and attempted to wipe away her tears.
El leaned in and kissed him.
When they pulled away, Mike's face fell into a frown.
“El, be honest, are you happy being with me?”
El was immediately taken aback by the question. “No! I love you Mike!”
She grabbed his hands and pulled them up. She wasn’t lying.
He shook his head. “That isn’t the question… Are you happy being with me?”
El paused, unsure of what to say. She couldn’t lie to him. She’d done a lot of thinking these past months, not just about him, but the state of all of her relationships. She hated the realizations she’d come to. She tried to ignore those thoughts as best she could. Change wasn’t easy, and yet, everyone and everything was changing. Including her relationships.
She lowered her and mikes hands, not letting go.
“I guess I am not.”
Mike's shoulders drooped, but he didn’t look surprised.
El pressed her eyes closed and wrinkled her brows.
“It’s just, after everything. We have lost… a lot. We lost so many people, and places, and so many thoughts on what the future could be.”
She looked back up at Mike whose attention was fully on her.
“It has just been really hard with all the grief... It’s hard to do this.” She gestured at Mike.
Mike nodded. “I understand.”
She sighed and choked back a sob. “I don’t want to lose you.”
Mike shook his head. And pulled their hands to his chest. “You won’t El. You never will. I will always be here. Boyfriend, or not. Friends don’t lie.”
El felt relief wash over her. That was exactly what she wanted to hear.