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Becoming best friends with Foggy Nelson would definitely go on Madison Murdock’s Top Five list of interesting events in her life, if she had ever created one. Foggy was unlike anyone she had ever met before; she was immediately on board with her blindness, she didn’t treat her like she was weak or fragile like most other people did, and Maddie had immediately felt as if she could become close friends with her within five minutes of meeting her. Needless to say, Maddie had never experienced that with anybody else.
Even on days when they’re fighting or bickering, Maddie still would never trade her for anything or anyone else in the world.
Sometime during the end of their second semester of their first year of law school, Maddie came to the very startling conclusion that she was dangerously close to falling in love with her best friend and roommate. This realization hit her like a freight train one morning when the two of them were sitting outdoors at the on-campus café, and Foggy told her an embarrassing high school story that had her laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face and her stomach hurt afterwards. Even when Foggy’s hand gestures became so animated she accidentally knocked Maddie’s hot coffee into her lap, the only thing Maddie’s brain supplied her with was a surprising declaration of “I think I could spend the rest of my life with her.”
As a result, she opted to repress those feelings and instead focus on the massive amount of studying she had to do in order to pass her final exams, quietly hoping that they would become nothing more than a distant thought in the back of her mind. Without being aware she was doing it, she ended up distancing herself away from Foggy during finals week and the weeks leading up to it. Thankfully, Foggy didn’t take personal offense to this, mainly because she had her own finals to stress over and study for as well.
However, as soon as finals were finished, and they were both collapsed on their respective beds in complete exhaustion, Foggy made a muffled declaration into her pillow that, “Dude, we are so celebrating tomorrow. After we sleep for about 20 hours.” Maddie grunted her approval from across the room.
And that’s how they ended up in their dorm room on a Saturday night listening to horrible CD’s, loaded up on Chinese takeout, and buzzed from the cheap beer and wine that Foggy had bought from a guy down the street.
After they finished singing off-key duets for “Love Shack,” “Baby Got Back,” and various Britney Spears songs, Foggy went over to the CD player and switched CD’s. There was silence for a moment as Foggy was pressing buttons. Shortly after, the room was filled with a gentle piano melody, then after about twenty seconds, a relaxing voice sang, “Come away with me…in the night…”
Maddie raised a curious eyebrow at Foggy’s music selection. “This is…slower,” she commented.
“Yeah,” she replied softly. Even from across the room, Maddie felt the blush creeping over Foggy’s face. “It’s my Norah Jones CD. She’s pretty much one of my favorite singers ever. Every time I listen to her music, I either want to make out with someone or fall asleep.”
Maddie pretended that she didn’t hear the first part of that statement, and asked, “If it makes you tired, why are we listening to it? According to you, our plan was to ‘party until we’re shitfaced.’”
“Because,” Foggy said in a singsong voice, “It’s perfect slow-dancing music. “And I’ve just decided that I’m not letting you off the hook until you dance with me.”
Maddie stared at her for a few seconds and then shook her head in disbelief. “I---I don’t really know how to, Fog,” she admitted, giggling a little nervously.
“What? What do you mean, you don’t know how? Everybody can dance.”
“I never danced when I was little, and after my accident…nobody really bothered teaching me.”
Foggy groaned in exasperation. “Dude. It’s slow dancing. Literally all you have to do is put your arms around me and sway to the music. That’s it.”
“I don’t know, I’m not sober enough for this, and I’m just going to look stupid--” Her voice caught in her throat when Foggy took her by the hands and dragged her into a standing position in front of her.
“That’s fine, because the only person who will see you looking stupid is me. And that’s bullshit, we both know that you can function better tipsy than most people can while sober.” Maddie’s breath hitched when Foggy’s warm hands settled onto her waist.
Foggy laughed when Maddie’s hands hung awkwardly at her sides. “You must really not know how to dance,” Foggy commented. “Now you put your hands on my shoulders, and then we just move back and forth. It’s pretty simple.” Maddie did as she was told, and even though Foggy’s heart sped up due to their close proximity, she never commented on it.
They stood in the middle of the room, swaying to the music in comfortable silence for over a minute when Foggy burst out with, “Wait. I just thought of something. Are you even allowed to listen to music from this century? Because I thought Catholics were only allowed to listen to hymns and Gregorian chants and shit.”
Maddie replied with a grin that lit up her entire face. “I’m starting to think that you really don’t have a clue what Catholicism even is.”
“Hey!” Foggy shot back mock-defensively. “I know enough. I know that it involves massive amounts of guilt and cool-looking rosaries, and confessing to a priest in a dark room. And I’ve been to church before, you know. Just because I’m not super religious doesn’t mean I’m some godless heathen.”
Maddie snorted. “I never said you were, Fog.”
“Yeah right.” Foggy smiled. “You’ve never said it, but that doesn’t mean you’ve never thought it.”
She paused, and Maddie could hear the other woman anxiously biting her lip. “What?”
Foggy looked away and laughed a little bit too loudly, as if she was forcing it. “It’s nothing. Forget it. I’m gonna go change the song--”
Just as Foggy started to pull away from her, Maddie grabbed her wrists to stop her. “No you’re not. What were you going to say, Foggy?”
Trying to calm her friend, Maddie began rubbing reassuring circles with her thumb over the pulse points on Foggy’s wrists.
Surprisingly, this had the exact opposite effect on Foggy than she had intended. As soon as she touched her skin, Foggy’s heart sped up like a jackrabbit, and Maddie could clearly sense the blush radiating from her face and neck.
“I know this is stupid. I’m probably not making any sense, but…” Foggy swallowed thickly. “It’s just that I sometimes have a hard time telling what you’re thinking because of your…”
She made a vague gesture that Maddie couldn’t see, and even though Foggy was clearly agitated about something, Maddie couldn’t help it when her lips quirked up in amusement. “My what, Foggy?”
“Your glasses.”
Maddie didn’t really know how to reply to that. “Huh. Care to explain?”
Foggy huffed out a shaky breath. Maddie honestly couldn’t figure out why Foggy was on edge, so she simply held on to her and patiently waited for an explanation.
“Okay, please don’t think I’m a dick, because I know you need your glasses to block out light, and because it makes you feel more comfortable in public. I know all of that. I just…sometimes don’t feel as connected to you when you wear them? Mostly it’s when it’s just the two of us. That…yeah, that sounds really corny and lame. Sorry. I haven’t really known you a long time, but it seems like you can already read me like an open book. Well, a book that has Braille in it…” Maddie smiled affectionately at that.
“But I know basically nothing about you. Except that you’re pretty much the hottest person I’ve ever met, and that your dad was a kickass boxer. But that’s about it, you know? And I guess when we’re by ourselves and you wear your glasses, I feel kind of blocked out, like you don’t want to open yourself up to me. And I end up not being able to tell what you’re thinking or feeling sometimes, and like it’s one less thing I know about you, if that makes sense--”
“So take them off, then.”
Foggy stuttered to a halt and choked on nothing. “…What?”
Maddie took a step closer to Foggy and once again draped her arms over her friend’s shoulders. She leaned in and murmured, secretly loving the way Foggy shivered when her breath ghosted over the other woman’s ear, “I said…you can take my glasses off. I don’t mind.” She paused. “I trust you, Foggy.”
Foggy was silent for a few moments, and it sounded as if she was floundering for a response, so Maddie decided to help her out. Reaching up with one hand, she pulled her glasses off and gently tossed them onto her bed across the room.
“Is that better?” Maddie asked with a teasing smile.
“Wow, I mean…I’ve seen you without your glasses off before, but…dude, you have really pretty eyes. And even bigger wow, I just realized that drinking makes my brain-to-mouth filter stop working. Sorry about that.”
Maddie swallowed nervously but managed to grin at her. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” She carefully brushed back a lock of Foggy’s hair that was hanging in her face. “Can you tell what I’m thinking now?” Maddie asked breathlessly.
They were quickly approaching dangerous territory, and Maddie was fully aware of it. Despite the fact that she was significantly tipsy, she still had enough functioning brain cells to know that if she didn’t step away from Foggy very soon, she was going to kiss her. No doubt.
But the scary part was Maddie didn’t want to stop herself. With her brain pleasantly numb from the alcohol, her usual walls and defenses were down. Instead of telling herself that nothing good would come out of this, all she could focus on was how good Foggy smelled, how her warm breath was fanning across her face, and her steady and rapid heartbeat that made Maddie want to be anchored to her forever.
God, she wanted to kiss her so badly.
Before Maddie could even figure out what she was going to say next, Foggy whispered, “Would you be mad if I kissed you right now?”
Maddie let go of Foggy’s shoulders and brought them up to bury her hands into her soft blonde curls. She knew this was wrong. This was her best friend standing here, face just a few inches away from her own. They were going to wake up the next morning, and Foggy would end up regretting what they did, eventually distancing herself from Maddie, even resenting her---and Maddie didn’t think she could ever handle that.
But still. Maddie never could deny Foggy anything, after all.
“No, Foggy. I wouldn’t.” Not giving her much time to react, Maddie tilted Foggy’s face up to meet hers, and then she pressed a light, chaste kiss to her lips.
Foggy didn’t react for the first couple of seconds; then all at once, when her brain finally caught up with what was happening, she gasped against Maddie’s mouth and kissed back like her life depended on it.
And Jesus, was Foggy a great kisser. Maddie had heard stories from Marci and other women about Foggy’s specific…talents, but she had no idea she was that good. She kissed like she was absolutely starving for it, and Maddie couldn’t believe how turned on it made her. Foggy licked and sucked at Maddie’s mouth, and the way she breathily moaned, “Maddie” made her shiver with want and anticipation.
It was when Foggy began sucking kisses down Maddie’s neck, and Maddie could smell the arousal coming from both of them, and she realized that they were too inebriated for things to be going this fast, that she finally groaned, “Foggy…Foggy, Foggy. Stop, please."
Foggy instantly broke away from her. “Oh God, I’m so sorry. I got really carried away. Was that too much?” She sounded concerned and ashamed, and Maddie didn’t want her to feel that way at all.
“A little bit, but…it’s fine, Foggy, really,” Maddie reassured her, rubbing slow circles into Foggy’s cheek with her thumb. Foggy relaxed and leaned into the touch, and Maddie’s heart leaped happily when she felt Foggy smiling against her hand.
“Believe me, there’s nothing I want to do more right now than kiss you again, but I think that if we’re going to pursue…this…any further, we should both be completely sober and not sleep-deprived. I don’t want you to do something that feels right to you now and then end up regretting it later. I just…I don’t think I could handle you not wanting to be around me anymore, Fog.”
“Oh my God, Maddie, no,” Foggy said emphatically. She reached for Maddie’s hand and pressed light kisses to her knuckles. “I would never regret doing anything with you. Never. And trust me, we’re pretty much stuck together for the long haul. You’re not gonna get rid of me that easily, Murdock.” Foggy chuckled, and Maddie couldn’t help but join in.
Once again, Foggy paused and bit her lip for a moment. “I know you’re not gonna believe me since I’m kinda tipsy, but I’ve been pretty much in love with you since the first week we met.”
Maddie listened very intently to the rhythm of Foggy’s heartbeat, and when she realized that Foggy wasn’t lying, her face split into a bright smile. “Me too, Foggy. Well, I didn’t realize it until pretty recently, but yeah. I feel the same way.”
Foggy leaned in closer and kissed her softly on the mouth. “Thank God. That’s…that’s really good. I thought for sure I was going to make an idiot out of myself just then.”
She ran her hand through Maddie’s dark hair and stroked the outer shell of her ear so gently that it made Maddie’s eyelids flutter shut. Foggy continued, “And I’m totally cool with taking this slow and everything, but…do you think I could dance with you again? I really liked it."
Maddie giggled. “I’m pretty sure you’re only asking to make me feel better about my crappy dancing skills, but yes. I’ll dance with you again.”
Foggy snorted. “That’s nonsense, Murdock. You’re the best goddamn dancer New York has ever seen. The way you move your feet back and forth? Spectacular. Your skills have me swooning right now.”
They both burst out laughing, and Maddie was so happy to have this type of light banter back. There had been a barely discernable tension between them during the past few weeks, but now they were back to being just Foggy and Maddie, the Dork and the Blind Girl…only now, there was something more hanging in the air between them. Something with optimism and hope, something that in the very near future promised early morning kisses and whispered “I love you’s” and holding hands in public.
But for now, they were both contented to just enjoy this moment together, pressed against one another while swaying to the soft music in the background. This time around, instead of the awkward, middle school style of dancing they had previously used,they were now pressed completely together, Foggy’s arms wrapped around her back, and Maddie’s head resting against the junction between Foggy’s neck and shoulder.
When Maddie heard Foggy sniffle and felt a couple of her tears trickle down her own cheek, she understood completely and felt the exact same way; she understood the sensations of wanting someone so badly that it hurt, and pining for that person like an inexperienced teenager, and how amazing it felt when the other person reciprocated. She knew without a doubt that Foggy was feeling the exact same jumbled mix of elation, comfort, love, and home that she was feeling at that moment; so instead of inquiring and asking her if she was alright, she simply hugged Foggy closer and whispered, “Me too, Foggy. Me too.”