Chapter Text
weed eater 6969 (GONE WRONG)
An: GUYS
An: YK HOW WE SET THE GC NAME TO WEED EATER
An: WHO GREW WEED IN THE CAFE
Len: OH UH
Rin: WEED??
Len: YOU SAID IT WAS FUCKING NORMAL FLOWERS
Len: I TOUCHED THAT SHIT
Rin: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Meiko: WHAT.
Kohane: theres, theres what
An: isthisevenpossible.jpeg
Rin: CAP
Meiko: REALLY?? IN MY ESTABLISHMENT??
Luka: what the fuck
Luka: top 10 things i didnt expect to see today
Akito: hey i just woke up and what the literal satans ass
An: im in shock
An: is this like legal
Kohane: screw legal is this even possible
Kaito: the what?
Miku: you werent supposed to know about that
Akito: WHY IS THERE WEED IN THE SEKAI
Miku: FUCK YOU YOURE A PUSSY
Akito: I AM NOT FUCKING BROADCASTING MY NIGHTLY WANK
Len: miku on a scale of 1-10 what the hell
Miku: THIS IS FOR MY BLACKMAIL FOLDER
Miku: I HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING ON THE BITCH
Kaito: also, we banned toya again
Kohane: oops
Megurine Luka has added Aoyagi Toya to the conversation
Toya: stop adding me back
An: suffer bitch
Toya: its your guys’ sekai not ours
Kohane: you get coffee from here every morning to avoid paying at the cafe
Toya: they overprice anyways
Akito: no sane person alive asks for 7.5 shots specifically
Meiko: THERES ACTUALLY WEED
Len: real?
Luka: and here i thought we peaked after the rum incident
Meiko: listen here fuckbags
Meiko: i didnt get this garden for you guys to fucking grow weed
Miku: this was a movement and rebellion
Akito: you shut the hell up
Toya: theres weed?
An: im literally losing my mind rn this is the best thing that has happened to me ever
Kaito: MEIKO
Kaito: YOURE RUINING MY SUNFLOWERS
Meiko: YOU TRY GETTING RID OF THE WEED
Meiko: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY
Miku: i didnt read the instructions
Rin: fym instructions
An: can i come i wanna see the weed
Kohane: why do u wanna see weed
An: THIS IS FOR RESEARCH
Toya: this is also extremely illegal
An: how do i explain that vocaloids illegally planted weed in a world generated by my head only accessible via phone
Toya: so theres weed in our phone
Akito: i wish you guys were an app so i can delete it
Luka: same here so i dont have to deal with yalls shit
Kaito: but youd miss us :(
Akito: i wont
Akito: not after the rabbit incident
Rin: 2 different responses
Len: im still sad
Rin: why did you even attempt to bring it in here
Len: I WANT THE TOUCH OF A FUZZY ANIMAL
Luka: furry
Len; WHATS WRONG WITH YOU
Luka: i regularly get steamrolled out of my mind of course smts wrong with me
An: HOLY SHIT IM WITH WEED
Rin: LMAO SAME
Meiko: SOMEONE GET AN OUT OF HERE
Miku: STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY MASTERPIECE
Kaito: good thing you have extra seeds
Miku: KAITO NO
Meiko: YOU WHAT
Miku: NOTHING
Rin: he strikes again
Kaito: IM SO CONFUSED
Kaito: YOU DO THOUGH??
Miku: NO I DONT HAHAHHAHA
Miku: (STOP TALKING)
Len: never change
Kohane: im coming
An: NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
An: if i like attempt to smell it does that put me in jail
An: do yall have a legal system in the sekai
Luka: no
Meiko: theres gonna be one if yall dont keep yourselves in check
Akito: cant i listen to my music in peace
Akito: stop texting
An: stop using that as an excuse
Toya: last time you said you were listening to music you beat up tsukasa
Akito: he was disrupting my music
Len: you literally have noise canceling headphones
Akito: the bitch was that loud
Kohane: i find that hard to believe
Akito: clearly you havent met him
Luka: clearly you dont own an air fryer
Miku: clearly you dont own an air fryer
Miku: CURSE YOU
Luka: get destroyed
Miku: WHY DOES NOTHING EVER GO WELL FOR ME
Miku: I NEVER WIN
Kaito: you beat me in smash
Miku: no offense but thats not really an achievement
An: smash is banned
Len: yall r just sore losers
Akito: i literally beat you 13 times in a row
Len: photoshop
Toya: i was there
Len: SILENCE
Meiko: i cleaned up your shitfest
Meiko: dont let it happen again
Kaito: we can just plant more from the extras
Meiko: hatsune miku
Miku: THIS IS THE LAST TIME I TRUST YOU KAITO
Kohane: theres your fatal mistake
Akito: does mario kart gameplay echo through his head 24/7
Luka: id believe that
Meiko: i need a drink
Luka: theres some in the fridge
An: i think were the most fucked out of all the sekais out there
Kohane: no were not
Toya: do other sekais have 1 fridge for normal food and 2 wine fridges
Akito: not to mention the sparkling water incident
Rin: I WAS EXPERIMENTING
Len: YOU BLEW ALL OF US UP
Kohane: we couldnt enter the sekai for 2 weeks
Meiko: i asked the stage version of myself back in april and she said they have a live penguin as a pet
Toya: how did we almost die from trying to bring a rabbit in
An: maybe were banned from responsibility
Luka: not to mention when rin died
Rin: i temporarily became a ghost
Len: r we immortal
Kaito: i have a ice cream fridge
Rin: that you dont SHARE
Kaito: its my favorite food
Rin: sharing is caring
An: not with you
Kohane: @everyone can we meet in the sekai for a sec i wanna flex my report card
Akito: fuck u i flunked math
An: bitch ass i got a 60
Akito: I GOT A 58 GET GOOD
An: UGH
Toya: are you guys seriously competing for the lowest grade?
Rin: i dont go to school but i think i can get a 70
Akito: shut the hell up
An: prove it
Rin: bet
An: im bringing my algebra homework
Akito: WAIT A MINUTE
Akito: HERES MY BIOLOGY HOMEWORK PROVE THAT TOO
Rin: ILL STEAMROLL THIS SHIT
Kohane: does she know
Len: GIVE ME HOMEWORK IM BETTER THAN HER
Rin: FUCK YOU IM BETTER
Rin: WHAT OTHER SUBJECTS DO YOU HAVE
An: heres my history homework
Akito: i can chip in my english homework as well
Len: THIS IS GONNA BE SO EASY
Toya: you guys realize they’re just using you two to get out of doing homework
Akito: SHUT UP TOYA
An: SHUT THE HELL UP LITTLE BOY
Miku: GUYS HEKP NNEIKOS GONNA KIKL ME
Kaito: i can help on homework if you need it
An: so i have this project due tomorrow
Kaito: sure
Akito: ITS DUE TOMORROW??
Kohane: theres a schedule pinned in this very group chat
Toya: guys i dont think you should literally do the work for them
Luka: who cares this isnt illegal anyways
Luka: ill go find the online answer key
An: i personally call this “abusing our advantage”
Miku: SEND COPS
Kohane: we cant
Meiko: the problem has been resolved
Miku: OWWWWWW
Miku: LUKA YOU JUST SAT THERE AND WATCHED
Miku: HOW COULD U
Luka: not my problem
Miku: b-but
Luka: 
Kaito: i asked
Luka: you absolutely did not stop trying
Rin: GUYS
Rin: IMGONNAENDITALL.jpeg
An: WHAT. THE FUCK
Len: ITS GOOD
Rin: YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PUT BANANAS ON CUP NOODLES
Akito: what am i looking at
Kaito: That looks good!
Luka: you dont have to try to not ruin his feelings just say what you wanna say
Kaito: that looks slightly unappetizing
Luka: no i mean just say what u wanna say like raw
Kaito: im really sorry but that looks bad
Meiko: good enough
Meiko: but what the FUCK
Meiko: YOURE NOT USING MY COFFEE MACHINE TO MAKE THAT ABOMINATION OF CULINARY ARTS
Kohane: “arts”
An: i think i just threw up a little
An: how many bananas did u put in that
Len: like 8??
An: WHY????
Rin: also who disconnected the wifi
Rin: ill beat ur ass
Akito: YOU GUYS HAD WIFI???
Miku: high speed as well
Toya: ive been using my 1 bar of data this entire time
Toya: i cant believe this
Rin: yall want the pass
Rin: wifi name GakupoIsALoser password lenisabigbitch69
Miku: stop changing the wifi name
Rin: im not gonna keep connecting to pussyslayerssnoopdogg420
Kaito: hes cool
Rin: no hes not
Miku: we banned him from the sekai after the brick wall incident
Len: we never recovered from that
Miku: yall banned gumi as well im still mad abt that
Meiko: she cant be trusted after the metal pole maze
Meiko: i spent 4 weeks cleaning that up
Miku: you know ive done worse
Meiko: i dont have that many full time laborers so youre required here
Luka: i refuse to help out
Meiko: i dont want u here
Len: remember the vodka cake
Luka: never apologize
An: what the hell have yall been doing before we got here
Rin: we’re under blood oath not to speak of it
Akito: IS THAT WHAT THE RED STAIN IS??
Toya: its literally all over the wall…
Kohane: you guys can bleed?
Miku: a lot of things kinda went wrong when we were making it
Kaito: i lost a lot of blood
Len: oh right we kinda went crazy a little bit
An: ugh i have a test tmr
An: if i get you guys on my phone can u google the answer for me
Luka: my googling skills are unmatched
Luka: say the time and ill be ready to go
Kohane: what if you get caught
An: ill say i get hallucinations
Akito: can i dial you as well
Luka: ill always be ready on the fly
Miku: dont u have other people to accommodate to
Luka: you got this
Miku: bitch ass
Kaito: whatisthis.mp4
Kaito: idk why i have this
Miku: I TRUSTED YOU WITH THAT
Rin: OH OH OH OHHHHHH
Len: MAKE IT COUNT PLAY IT STRAIGHT DONT LOOK BACK DONT HESITATE
Kohane: WHEN YOU GO BIG TIME
An: this is a beastly cover
Luka: kill me now
Luka: you all werent SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS
Akito: Big Time Rush - [ft. Megurine Luka]
Luka: idk how you have it i never even gave it to you
Kaito: miku gave it to me
Miku: IM ALWAYS. BACKSTABBED.
Toya: meiko can i use your coffee maker
Meiko: why
Toya: i got new tea
Meiko: share some w me and also sure
Kohane: do you even go back to your own house anymore
Toya: i live in akitos basement
Akito: SPEAKING OF THAT
Akito: ena says its your turn to do the dishes
An: i find it hard to believe you guys are organized
Toya: i did the dishes for the last 3 weeks though
An: oh i see
Akito: we're
Akito: busy
Miku: YOU WERE MASTURBATING FOR 3 HOURS YESTERDAY
Toya: oh i see
Toya: that is quite an urgent matter
Akito: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU
Miku: YOU ACCIDENTLY CALLED ME WHEN YOU WERE DOING THE DEED
Miku: YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE SHIT I GO THROUGH
An: HAHAHAHAHA
An: wittle baby got no one to pleasure him waaa
Akito: SAYS THE ONE THAT MAILS LOVE LETTERS TO HERSELF JUST TO FEEL SOMETHING
An: YOU FUCKER
Kohane: you guys are depressing
Kaito: i did your homework
An: my savior
An: can i have a scoop of ice cream...
Luka: dont do the green one with the leaves
Luka: its not mint
An: ill get strawberry
Meiko: is that seriously what you did with the weed
Luka: they were just lying there so i had to do something
Luka: would be an awful lot of waste
Meiko: i hate you
Meiko: can we ban luka from the sekai
Miku: shes the only one i can talk to
Miku: so no
Luka: i can contribute
Luka: i can mop the floor
Kaito: you mopped the floor with whiskey
Luka: details
Kohane: what did i do for this to happen to me
Kaito: can i go hang out with myself
Toya: ill call tsukasa
Kaito: thanks
Miku: WAIT WHAT
Meiko: ever since we banned gakupo hes been hanging out with himself
Toya: i ring up tsukasa and he dials his sekai and we put our phones together
Miku: i can have a gathering
Miku: thats fucking awesome give me a sec
Miku: can anyone be so kind as to dial me
An: i can do it
Miku: thanks ill order pizza
An: GET PEPPERONI
Len: NO GET PLAIN
An: YOU BORING ASS BITCH
Rin: I AGREE
Kohane: get anchovies
Kohane: i want to see people suffer
Akito: blocked
Toya: 
Toya: me rn
Miku: i hate all of you
MEIKO has changed Hatsune Miku's name to Mike
Mike: alright
Luka: im unplugging the internet
Akito: time to log off
Mike: for your daily wank
Akito: SHUT UP MIKE
Mike: FUCK YOU