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“Cheats! You’re both liars and cheats!”
Jason smirked as he scooped a pile of game pieces to his side of the table. “Sit down, Brown. Stop being a sore loser.”
“Sore loser?” Stephanie shoved her chair back with a screech. “The two of you conspired to knock me out of the game!”
“Strategy is not cheating,” said Cass. Before her were stacks of sorted pieces that she was neatly adding Stephanie’s conquered tokens to.
“Screw you both, I’m getting Tim on my team. Then you’ll be sorry!”
“Uh huh. Sure.” Jason said dismissively. He and Cassandra were staring each other down across the table, as if they could figure out the other’s strategy through telepathy.
Scowling, Stephanie marched down the hall. Where was Tim? He said he’d join them after a shower and it had been almost an hour now. The rest of them showered in fifteen minutes. A grandfather clock by the entrance to the family wing rang solemnly. Midnight. An early night for them but after what they’d seen tonight…Steph shuddered and pushed the images from her mind. Don’t think about it. That’s what the impromptu game night was for.
“Tim?” She rapped on his bedroom door. "Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne?" No answer but there was the faint sound of running water. Was he seriously still in there? What the shit? Damian was going to give Tim one hell of a lecture for wasting water.
The shower was loud and clear when she opened the door. Steam seeped from under the bathroom door, making the carpet slightly damp when she stepped up to the door. Steph knocked loudly, “You don’t need to impress me with fancy hair. We’re already dating, bird boy. But I do need you to help me teach Jason and Cass a lesson.”
Silence. Now she began to worry. “Tim? You alive in there?” It was supposed to be a joke but now she couldn’t stop picturing him passing out and drowning by the drain. Or maybe he was hurt and bleeding out. “That’s it, I’m coming in.” She slowly opened the door, peering through the clouds of steam, to see–
“Oh my god, Tim!”
He was huddled on the floor of the shower, hugging his knees to his chest as water pounded down on his reddened back. Steph bolted to him, barely remembering to throw her phone on the counter before she stepped into the shower. Pellets of hot water stung her skin but Tim didn’t react at all. How could he bear it?
As she reached to adjust the temperature, she asked “Are you hurt?” There wasn’t any red tinting the water sloughing off of him so that was a good sign he wasn’t bleeding out. More silence but that was alright. At least she was here now. “Hey there.” Steph said softly as she knelt down before Tim and pushed wet hair away from his closed eyes. His knuckles were white and his breaths were quick and short.
Shampoo slipped between her fingers, evidence that he’d stopped midway through washing grime from his hair. “Can I finish washing your hair?” She waited patiently until Tim gave her a tiny nod in the form of the slightest dip of his chin.
Stephanie grabbed the shampoo bottle and began lathering up his hair, careful to not drip suds on his face as she combed her fingers through. As she worked, Tim’s hunched shoulders began to drop a little, the grip on his legs loosening. When she asked him to tilt his head back, he did so, letting her rinse his hair with the detachable shower head.
Once the soap was gone she kissed his forehead. “You’re doing such a good job.” No response as she reached for the conditioner. There was no doubt that tonight was behind this episode. They’d all seen worse but some nights…something they’d seen ten times before struck a nerve or triggered some old and buried pain. Steph knew as well as everyone else that Tim tended to withdraw before finally coming to one of them. He needed time to process. This however…she’d be lying if she said it didn’t scare her a little.
Earlier today, they'd been making cookies in the manor kitchen while dancing and singing along with Tim's jumbled playlist. Tim slid his arms around her waist, making them sway as he exaggeratedly crooned Nickelback and Stephanie tried not to spill the mixing bowl full of flour. Their kisses were sweetened by the powdered sugar they’d been blowing in each other’s faces. There were no masks, no trauma, no city waiting to terrorize them. They were just two happy teens in love.
It felt cruel that a few hours could wipe all that away.
Tim was breathing easier now. His chest rose and fell with slow, deep breaths as the conditioner was rinsed out. Stephanie let him sit under the warm water for a moment longer. His skin wasn't such an angry red now that the temperature was much more bearable. But splotches of scarlet still lingered, making the pale scars slicing across Tim’s body stand out even more. So many scars.
She shifted into a crouch, swiping soggy strands of hair off his forehead. "All done." Stephanie cupped his cheek. Slowly, his eyes opened. But only to stare blankly down at his feet. “Ready to get up?” Tim gave her that tiny nod again and took her hand.
Using the white fluffy towel waiting on the rack, Steph quickly patted Tim mostly dry before bundling him in it and holding him. They stood like that for a moment, his pale blue eyes finally taking in her face as she held him. They seemed a little bit brighter. With a smile, Steph lightly knocked their foreheads together. “Come on bird boy, time to get dressed.”
Despite his silence, Tim obediently put on the boxers and shirt he was handed. “Let’s take care of your hair before you get a cold like Alfred always says.” Steph said, trying to sound upbeat. “I highly doubt that it’s true but why risk it?” She guided Tim to sit on the foot of the bed, stepping between his knees to begin toweling off his head. The ends of her own hair were wet from the shower, further soaking her shirt, but it was okay. Once Tim was tucked in bed, she could go change. He was the priority for now.
Inch by inch, Tim began leaning over until his head rested on her stomach. Which made it almost impossible to effectively rub the towel over his hair but Stephanie let him be. Setting the towel aside, she ran her hands along his back and through his hair as she murmured encouragement. Wet hair didn’t matter right now. Making Tim feel safe and loved did. The same way he made her feel.
“Blondie! What’s taking so long?” Jason shouted from down the hallway.
“Oh crap.” Jason and Cass. She was supposed to return and kick their butts. Tim remained seemingly unbothered, still leaning against her.
“You two better not be making out ‘cause I’m coming in.” Jason called from outside the door. There was a pause then the door swung halfway open and he cautiously peeked in. The moment he saw Tim slumped over and Stephanie’s soaked clothes, Jason came marching in. Cass followed after him. “Is everything alright?” Jason’s light, teasing tone was gone.
“It will be. Tim just needed a little help.” Stephanie shoved the wet towel off the bed and pulled back the covers. “Let’s get you to bed, okay?” As Tim climbed in, there was a quick flurry of whispers behind her and Cass slipped out of the room.
Jason came to the side of the bed, gentle ruffling Tim’s damp hair. “Hey, Timbo,” He said softly. “Mind if I sit with you for a minute? We don’t have to talk.” A tiny nod. Jason smiled. “Cool.”
Cass came back into the room with a bundle of dry clothes. “For you.” She said to Stephanie, tilting her head towards the bathroom.
“You’re amazing.” Steph followed her in, shucking off her uncomfortably clinging, half-wet clothes. The dry yoga pants and t-shirt felt blissful.
Cass watched her closely. “Are you okay?”
“I…yeah. I’m okay.” Stephanie slipped her abandoned phone back in her pocket. The screen was filled with missed texts from Jason and Cass. Whoops. “I’m worried about Tim. I’ve never seen him like this before. He was just sitting in the shower. He hasn’t spoken once.” It made her feel helpless. In a way she hadn’t felt for a while. Spoiler could act. Batgirl could act. But Stephanie Brown could only kneel in a shower while one of her best friends and boyfriend spiraled. "I feel like I'm not doing enough."
"Sometimes words are too hard." Cass said. "They demand too much. But you're taking that burden away for him. It’s enough.”
“You're right.” She hugged Cass who gave her a tight squeeze in return. “Thanks.”
Jason was leaning against the nightstand when they came out, one leg braced on the bed frame. Tim’s eyes went from looking up at him to watching them walk over which seemed like a good sign. Stephanie wanted to ask how he was feeling now. But that was probably a stupid question.
Instead she sat down beside her boyfriend and laced their fingers together. “Get some rest, Tim. I’ll come check on you in a bit, okay?” His hand held hers tighter, pulling her closer. Blue eyes darted to Cass and Jason then back to her. There was almost a hint of panic in the action. Stephanie got the message. “Do you want us to stay with you?” Tim’s chin wobbled briefly as he nodded. “Okay, we’ll stay.” She glanced quickly at Jason and Cass who both nodded in agreement.
Tim waited until Stephanie climbed in beside him and got comfortable before curling into her arms. He tucked his face into her shoulder as she held him, stroking his damp hair.
“It–it looked like when I found my dad.” It was barely a whisper, the words cracking as Tim spoke. But they rang loud through the room all the same.
“I’m sorry.” Steph pulled Tim closer. Shaky breaths washed over her neck. “I’m so sorry.” Behind him, Cass climbed into the bed and rested her forehead against his back. Jason reached over Stephanie to squeeze his brother’s shoulder, closing his own eyes. Most likely remembering the horrific, bloody scene they’d encountered tonight.
How had none of them realized it? Maybe because it was just another cookie-cutter brownstone house and, as gruesome as it was, it was just another Gotham crime. Tim himself had barely faltered. Looking back, the only clue would’ve been his brief pause as he entered the room. How he stared down at the body sprawled by the stairs, a gleaming object protruding from their chest. It must’ve taken all his strength to continue documenting the crime scene, to not break under the weight of memory then and there.
"Thank you for telling us." Stephanie whispered into his hair. Because what little energy he'd recovered was most likely spent sharing what was tormenting him. “I love you, Tim.” She kissed his cheek then temple as his arm slid around her waist. Tim relaxed against her, squeezing her waist in a silent ‘I love you too’.
“Rest, kiddo.” Jason turned off all the lights except for a dim floor lamp before sitting on the bed behind Stephanie. “We’ve got you now.”