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Sometimes he wondered if there was anyone else like him.
If Dante had known, Cisco would never hear the end of it--because of course his superpower would be generally unhelpful nightmares and the ability to go through an entire bottle of ibuprofen in a week. He supposed there had to be others like him, people with abilities they'd never know about because they were just so mundane and useless.
He doubted any of them were surrounded by superheroes, though.
It was as if the universe were playing one huge cosmic joke on him. Even as a metahuman, he was relegated to the sidelines and behind the scenes. He didn't get to be the hero, just the hero's gadget guy.
(Seriously, he was still waiting for the call from his brother telling him that he'd, like, developed the ability to fly or blow things up or control minds, because if anyone was going to get cooler powers than Cisco, it would be Dante)
He had never been an angry person, but he was surprising himself a lot lately. He found himself snapping at Caitlin, or saying something particularly mean to Barry, or just withdrawing from everyone and becoming sullen and bitter out of nowhere for no good reason.
Everyone basically left him alone, because poor broken Cisco had earned the right to be angry. It somehow made him angrier, even as he recognized that that wasn't a normal, healthy response.
And the worst thing about the situation? He missed Dr. Wells like crazy. Harrison had given him a direction to go, an ideal to chase, a guiding hand. Even despite the heartbreak Cisco felt over the betrayal, not having the man in his life made him feel unsure and off-balance, made him doubt himself even more than usual.
And dammit, despite everything, he really just wanted his friend back.
---
Iris had taken to hanging out in the cortex with him when she wasn't at work, helping him keep an eye on Barry as he ran around the city. Cisco half-suspected it was mostly a way to know for sure Barry was being safe--she'd been lied to and manipulated so often in the last year, he honestly didn't blame her. He welcomed the help; with Caitlin on her honeymoon for another two weeks and Wells--well, things had been getting backed up and overwhelming. And if he were being really honest with himself, the cortex had become an incredibly lonely place for him in the last couple of months. Iris' sunny smile and mundanely funny stories were more than welcome.
Sometimes he wondered if he should go out and try looking for a girlfriend, but he imagined bringing some poor normal girl into the three-ring circus that was his life, and it made him a little sick to his stomach.
(He absolutely did not think about calling the number on the little piece of paper Lisa Snart had slipped into his pocket the last time he'd seen her. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Really.)
The fourth day that Iris helped out, as they enjoyed an incredibly unhealthy fast food dinner, she turned to him , turned off their mics, and said, "So. You gonna tell me what's up with you, or do i have to guess?"
He froze, burger halfway to his mouth. "Uh, what do you mean?"
She turned in her chair so she was facing him better, head tilted. "I know we haven't known each other very long, or very well," she said, "But I can tell something's bothering you. I asked Barry about it but he got cagey and defensive, which means he can see it too and isn't talking about it." She laughed mirthlessly. "He's getting pretty good at that. The not talking."
Cisco shook his head. "There's nothing really bothering me, I guess," he told her. "Like, nothing specific. Just. Things have been kind of crazy. Everyone's adjusting. Grieving, I guess." Eddie's face flashed in his mind and he grimaced. "Which--uh--I guess you would be too. Sorry."
She gave him a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. "It's okay. I'm okay." She frowned, sighing. "Well--no, I'm not okay, not really. But I feel like I will be, eventually, and after everything, that's a good feeling to have. Someday, it won't be so bad. And I thought that would make me angry or upset, but..." She trailed off, smiling down at the ring still on her finger. "I think he would have wanted me to be okay, after a while. He wouldn't want me to be sad and angry forever." She looked back up at him, her face serious and determined, and reached out to grasp his hand tightly. He squeezed back. Her hands were soft and strong. "Eventually, things will be better. They have to be. That's how life works, we have good times and bad. Things will be okay again. We just have to get each other there."
Cisco smiled at her, oddly comforted. He thought of the awful year his brother died, how he had been sure the hurt would last forever, and then how it didn't, and realized that she was probably right.
He just wished those good times would come along already--he'd had his fill of the bad.
---
After that day, whenever she came to the lab, Iris made a point to bring him the biggest cup of coffee Jitters made to-go, with hazelnut creamer and cinnamon on top. It was such a small gesture but it made him feel warm and cared for in a way he hadn't since he found the body of the man his mentor had killed and thrown in a ditch in Starling City.
They'd sit and talk and drink their coffee like friends. Which, well, Cisco supposed at that point they were.
---
Two weeks later, Barry startled him while he was talking to Caitlin in the medical bay, and every glass instrument and container in a 20-foot radius shattered simultaneously.
(He was still expecting that call from Dante, but well--Cisco was pretty sure his brother was never beating that.)