redwineandqueer
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When a mysterious patch of magic appears on the walls of Rose Apothecary, David, the only witch in a town full of werewolves, is tasked with fixing it. With sex.
A magical mystery featuring magic, werewolves, witches, various unhelpful townsfolk, an unrepentant Roland Schitt, and a whole lot of orgasms.
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Then, David started talking about how good it felt and how much he loved it and, like with everything else David-related, Patrick couldn’t get it out of his head. So, when David had coaxed him onto his stomach and asked if he wanted to try, Patrick had been more than willing. And by the time David’s talented tongue was done taking him apart, Patrick had been fully converted.
Then he’d tried it out on David.
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David gets insecure about something in bed. Patrick makes it better.
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In the long reeds of difficulty and pain (that’s where you find the treasure) by redwineandqueer
Fandoms: Schitt's Creek
01 May 2021
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When the knock comes, Patrick has been pacing his apartment for over an hour. The TV blares, forgotten, in the background and a pile of books are scattered over the coffee table, remnants of his unsuccessful attempts to distract himself from the echoing silence.
Because David still hasn’t called.
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There’s no one else in the bakery except for a man behind the counter with his back turned to David.
“Just one minute,” the man calls and David hums in response, distracted by the dizzying array of baked goods on display in the glass case in front of him. His eyes fall on a tray of butter tarts and his stomach growls audibly.
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A very Canadian meet-cute. -
5 times David and Patrick are interrupted by authentic Canadian wildlife (and one time David swears he saw something) by redwineandqueer
Fandoms: Schitt's Creek
28 Apr 2021
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All David wants is to get Patrick's hands all over him whenever he gets the chance.
The wildlife in Schitt's Creek seems to have other ideas.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 15,181
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 28
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Both fresh off of break-ups with their respective boyfriends, David and Patrick fly solo on what were supposed to be couples vacations to the Maldives. When a paddle boarding incident and an aggressive telescope lead to a meet-cute/meet-ugly, David and Patrick decide to spend some of their vacation time together. The thing is, Patrick is a professional baseball player and David is an interior designer to the stars with his own HGTV show, but neither know who the other is. Both are thrilled to finally have met a regular guy, so they each hide their celebrity.
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“You won’t even think about it?”
“I just don’t want you to inevitably have to divorce me when you find out how truly ill-equipped I am to be outdoors. I would miss you terribly.”
“What if I send you a link to the campground’s website to have a look, and ask for it to be my one and only birthday gift this year.”
“Your one and only birthday gift? You want nothing else than to sleep with your outdoors-averse husband in a tent overnight? Nothing else at all?”
“That is correct.”
David takes a moment, and for a very brief second hates how much and how apparently unconditionally he loves Patrick.
“Please send me the link, I will think about it.” He holds a finger up to Patrick’s delighted face. “I will think about it.”
“That’s all I ask.”*****
David does not do the outdoors. Until he does.
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this is where i love you by schittyfic for yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)
Fandoms: Schitt's Creek
05 Apr 2021
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It shouldn't be surprising, really, that Patrick snaps this evening.
Or: a few years into their marriage, Patrick tries and fails to carry a burden on his own. Marriage is hard, sometimes, and that's okay.
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- Words:
- 72,867
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 135
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Really, if Stevie doesn’t want David to read her texts, she can always just bring her phone with her, or even just turn it face down on the counter.
So, naturally, when the screen flashes with a notification from a certain "Dumbass #1," of course he’s going to read it. Before he can actually read the damn text, though, Patrick sends another one, the initial message disappearing behind the absolute worst thing David has read in his entire life.
Every inch of him snaps cold and deathly still as he reads and rereads “Well he’s not going to be my boyfriend much longer” until Stevie’s screen turns dark. He stares at it still, praying to anyone and no one that another text will show up, the punchline to a joke or a comment that clearly shows Patrick was being a sarcastic dick and that David has absolutely nothing to worry about. But nothing shows up.-----
through a text sent to stevie that definitely wasn't meant for his eyes, david finds out that patrick is going to break up with him.