Chapter Text
"I'm not saying it matters to me. Because it's totally fine if they are."
"Then why do you need to know so bad? If it doesn't matter, you shouldn't care."
Tony Stark, genius billionaire playboy philantropist and Iron Man extraordinaire, pouted into his wheat grass and kale apple smoothie. "Did you see them during movie night? Cap was feeding him popcorn."
Bruce Banner, sometimes genius physicist with more degrees than most colleges and sometimes raging green fury monster, rolled his eyes. "They were on opposite ends of the couch. They were throwing it to each other. I mean, we've done that. Who hasn't?"
But Tony shook his head and hopped off his lab stool to pace. Bruce was honestly surprised the man had sat still long enough to get antsy.
"You fell asleep before the credits for the first movie and didn't see the rest of it. Right before we started the second flick, Cap laid back against the arm of the couch, and Barnes scooted up to lie back against his chest. Between his legs. And when they were all comfy and the movie was going, they sat their popcorn bowl right over Barnes' junk, and Cap slowly, piece by piece, fed him by hand."
Bruce shrugged, uncomfortable with all the speculation. "Look, Barnes was tortured and isolated for a long time, okay? Maybe Steve's just trying to help him feel comfortable with physical closeness aga--"
"There was finger-licking."
Sighing, Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "It's none of our business, Tony. Just let it go."
"I can't! Why won't they just admit it?"
"I dunno, maybe because it was literally illegal in their time?" Bruce stood off his own lab stool and tried to go back to work by gesturing up a few displays. "Sure, being gay isn't illegal now -- in most countries, anyway -- but they've only been in the now a few years, and they spent a lot longer than that in a political climate where even a hint of a limp wrist could get you arrested or worse."
Tony threw up his hands and groaned over-dramatically. "We're all friends here, Bruce. Even if it were still illegal, none of us would just hand them over for stealing kisses after a seventy year nightmare for the both of them." Grunting, he swiped away the display between him and Bruce and forced his most serious expression. "If I won't turn Barnes over for killing my parents, I think it's obvious I wouldn't turn either of them out for this."
Sighing again, Bruce mentally reminded himself that his friend was used to his private life being on display and usually kind of liked that. He could -- vaguely -- understand how completely alien someone like Tony Stark would find the basic human desire for privacy and quiet.
So, he used his calmest, most gentle and understanding voice. "Tony. None of our business."
Heaving an over-dramatic sigh, Tony slumped, shook his head, and went back to his side of the lab, swiping up displays as he went. "Just wait until you catch them doing something iffy and see how you feel, Banner."
"Whatever you say, Tony."
God, he hoped his science bro -- Tony's phrase, but it had wormed its way into Bruce's lexicon, too -- would just let it go. Unfortunately, he'd known Tony just long enough to know he wouldn't do any such thing.