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“I don't understand... how you can love me.” he says it with his eyes closed and closed he keeps his eyes when he feels the burning gaze of both men.
He can't open them, not when he doesn't feel he has the strength to face reality and the weight of his words, of all the insecurities he encapsulates with them, but he also knows that the mere fact of not opening his eyes won't make the world stop or them ignore what he has just confessed.
His heart flutters wildly as he hears the sigh coming from the left, the last thing he wants is to disappoint Lee Soo Hyuk with his silly fears, fears they've already talked about more times than he can count on one hand but that keeps haunting him on nights, especially nights like these, where he feels anything but deserving of love because he himself is incapable of offering the love that is so usually given. And he is heartbroken when he feels the sudden cold on the right side, where until just a few moments ago was a very happy Choi Jung Soo resting.
He doesn't have time to think and cry when he's suddenly pulled forward, his eyes widening in surprise at being seized in a seemingly unbreakable embrace, crossing glances with a so shattered Jung Soo that his first instinct is to open his mouth to apologize, only to be interrupted by the older of them who is suddenly glued to his back, hiding his face in his shoulder.
“Our Rok Soo-yah is stubborn and foolish, huh?” he didn't answer, knowing what was next. “Sweetness, darling, you cute and silly hubby, do you ever get tired of us reminding you how much we love you? Would you prefer a new way?” Well, no, that wasn't what he expected.
Calloused, gentle hands caressed his stomach as Lee Soo Hyuk continued, “You ask how we can love you but wouldn't a better question be how couldn't we love you?”
And again, he wasn't able to answer, there was no room for it when Jung Soo was kissing him so desperately, like a thirsty man finding a spring in the desert. It makes him forget almost everything, the way the cold air pinks his bare skin; the way his heart tears at the knowledge that even as in love as he is with these two beautiful, kind men he can't love them how he's supposed to; the way his own trembling hands clutch desperately at someone else's arms; how his mind suddenly feels so foolish for allowing his brain to fall into that hole back when he knows for a fact everything they went through to get to that point. Of everything but the very uncomfortable position they're in.
He says so and with a chuckle they settle in to continue their little make-out session, hoping there won't be the next time. And if there is a next time, let it be kinder.