Work Text:
“Why of course it was no problem! Really, I’m here to help after all.”
The familiar chuckle makes you turn your head as you stand over at the fruit stand, watching Kaeya take another compliment from another elderly woman holding onto his arm. The sight is incredibly normal, your boyfriend inclined to help out wherever he can. It just so happens that old people seem to flock around him like no other.
“Kaeya,” she starts, the formalities of his title non-existent as it is with all the other elderlies of Mondstat. Kaeya’s insistence, of course.
“Why don’t you come and stay the night for dinner? A few of my grandchildren have arrived from their own adventures and I’m sure they’d love to regale our Cavalry Captain with the stories. I’d love to introduce you to them all.”
“As much as the invitation is tempting, I have plans for the evening already,” he responds smoothly.
“If it’s tempting then why don’t you just come along anyway?” she tries again, tugging at his cuffs.
“I can’t abandon my beloved to have dinner all by their lonesome,” he continues, turning his head and coincidentally meeting your gaze.
You’re about to turn away when the look on his face softens just momentarily. His eye tilts downward, shoulders relaxing a little and you think he’s about to turn and run to you when he remembers his arm is trapped against a very insistent woman, looking down and losing that moment of calm.
“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind your presence lacking for just one night Captain, just the one.” She’s become more insistent in her attempts to pull him in, now trying to butter him up.
You know this routine; the dance is the same every time. Kaeya gets swept up by some admirer or hopeful in-law, stepping into tune and skirting around an outright denial because of course even his rejection is all covered up in that pretty voice of his.
A knot of mean words and twisted emotions seek to make themselves known. It’s not necessarily bad what you’re feeling, no, it’s natural. Of course it’s normal to feel a pang of something unkind as you watch your lover try to weasel his way out of what you know is a thinly veiled attempt to introduce him to someone better than you, smarter than you, perfect for him.
Without looking back you turn to head back home, the purpose for your outing forgotten.
~~~
There’s no way to describe your actions right now other than an obvious stare, watching as someone makes their desires known to Kaeya, practically humping his leg like a dog in heat as they stare up at him, neglecting the fact that the height difference is negligible. For a second you’re struck by the thought that perhaps you look just as desperate as they do when you’re with Kaeya but when your gaze travels up to his face you almost choke on your laughter at the simple fact that he really looks like he could not care any less.
He’s bored, the mischievous twinkle that lives in his eye instead replaced with a dullness that glazes over his entire energy when faced with a massive stack of paperwork or with yet another letter from the Grandmaster apologising and extending his expedition that continues to leave Kaeya horseless.
The outfit this admirer dons is one of the Knights, clothes much too neat for you to think that this is an experienced knight. Most likely it’s a new recruit that managed to shoehorn their way into Kaeya’s orientation, famous among new knights for a plethora of reasons. But, instead of testing their practical skills or leading them around the headquarters, Kaeya is now leaning against the doorway, seeming to try and will the energy needed to deal with such an “energetic” recruit from Barbatos himself.
“Now, I’m very glad to see you’re excited to be working with me-” Kaeya begins, immediately cut off.
“I’m more than excited!” they respond, jumping to attention as soon as they hear him speak.
“I’ve wanted nothing more than to work at your side, Captain! Your skills are second to none and I’m sure there’s a lot to learn from you!”
“You’re not going to learn much by holding my arm to your chest. I may see out of one eye but I do use both hands,” he sighs, yanking his arm out of their grasp.
“Captain, you sound exhausted? Is there anything I can do to help boost your energy? Perhaps we can warm up…together?”
Your stare turns to open mouthed shock, covering your mouth with a hand as you continue eavesdropping on this conversation, knowing that he would say no. Or at least you’re pretty sure he would. He doesn’t know you’re here - there’s always the off chance he’d say yes, right? Even though it would make no sense for him to, no, not when he’s taken so long to bare any part of him to you, refusing to even tell you what his favourite things were at first for fear that it’d begin to break down the walls he’s so painstakingly built.
The look in their eyes is obvious and you hold your breath, the air around your ears painfully loud as you try to figure out what he’ll say.
“Don’t be silly. If you want to warm up you’ll do it with the others,” he responds coldly, seemingly unwilling to entertain any of this anymore as he pulls his hand back.
“I didn’t mean anything by it!” they begin to plead, realising that they’ve made a grave error.
“It does not matter what you meant with your words when it’s clear with your actions what you want. If you went through all this work to join the Knights I’m sure you know what the daily routine of a Knight looks like. Go back to the courtyard and get ready for the Acting Grandmaster’s opening speech.”
They nod meekly and run off, Kaeya crossing his arms in frustration. He turns his head again and you think your gazes will meet again. The pounding in your chest disagrees with that possibility and forces you to duck down and hide from his prying eye, knowing he’ll find you instantly were he to try but all you hear is a yawn as he stretches.
“My dear,” he sighs, talking to himself as he hasn’t actually spotted you. “I miss you so much.”
The pout in his voice is clear and you hold back your laughter, knowing that he was extra clingy today with the prospect of training new knights. You could barely get him out of bed what with how desperate for your touch he was, smiling to yourself as you listened to the click of his boots turn back in to join the other knights.
~~~
You’re used to Kaeya being coveted, and you know he wouldn’t do anything to slight you. You’ll witness it time and time again, whether accidentally or on purpose such as when the two of you are out on the town together. He’ll give you a kiss that’s longer than usual, give a pointed look to his desperate admirer as he dips you low, pulling back from your lips only to nip at your collar and make you gasp his name breathlessly for the audience of one. It’s normal to be caught up in him, what with his alluring gaze and charming lines.
What you rarely witness was Kaeya flirting back.
Well, this wasn’t intentional and you could hardly call it flirting on his side. Kaeya’s being nice, friendly in the way that he is. He keeps the attention of his conversational partner and nods and hums, active listening skills making him that much more attractive as the person in front of him enthuses about something. You’re sitting at the bar, lightly stabbing the food you ordered as you remember Kaeya wasn’t expecting you for quite some time so of course he won’t be looking around for you yet.
However, the other person was becoming more and more bold with their actions. Their hands brush their bangs out of their face, framing it prettily with the strands of hair as they lean in more to listen to Kaeya give his response. When they speak it’s with a fluid confidence you know Kaeya appreciates, his smile easy.
It’s not a crime for him to get along with people and you’re happy he is, but you can’t help but find yourself feeling so out of place.The two of them look dazzling together, garnering a few stares of interest from neighbouring tables.
“Are you going to say anything?” a voice in front of you asks and you shake your head, not even bothering to look at him.
“Why would I? He’s having a good time.”
“His new friend there seems to be having too good of a time,” Diluc retorts.
“He’s not flirting so it’s not like I can tell him to stop,” you mutter, continuing to push your food around.
“He isn’t flirting but clearly they aren’t understanding that. Maybe I should go and remind him that he’s waiting for someone.”
You hear the door to the bar click and you shake your head furiously, looking up at Diluc for the first time of the night.
“It’s okay. He’ll come home when he can’t find me and we’ll do something at home. It’s fine, I’m fine,” you tack on, not sure who you were trying to convince more.
Diluc stays quiet but you watch his eyes continue to scrutinise the scene in front of him, clearing his and stepping towards the table as you slip out of the tavern before you can hear him speak.
~~~
The house is dark when he steps in. Kaeya knows it’s late. He almost lost track of time and then when he remembered why he was at Angels Share in the first place he waited a little more. Then more, and some more just in hopes that you would come see him. He’d been looking forward to this date after all, and meeting up at a place after being separate for the whole day reminded him of the early days of your relationship, where everything you did excited him. It still did, don’t get him wrong, but it was still a feeling he loved to chase when he could.
When he sees your shoes tucked neatly into their place at the door he knows something’s wrong. It’s too meticulous. He flips the light on and he notices it again. The entrance is tidied. You’re stressed out about something, distracted and dealing with those feelings of anxiousness by doing mundane tasks to keep your productive. Worried, but productive.
He half expects to see you cleaning in your shared bedroom, glad that there’s no light spilling onto the hallway of the home. Maybe you’re asleep he hopes, knowing you must be tired as he dresses for bed before sliding in next to you.
Instinctively, his arms pull you into his chest, comforting you as he presses kiss against whatever part of you he can reach. Kaeya’s about to wish you good night softly, lips right on your ear when he feels you hug him back. Tight. It’s not strange, but it’s concerning and he quickly rolls over to pin you underneath him, resting on an arm as you stare up at him in surprise.
“What’s wrong?” he asks bluntly, buttering you up by kissing your lips softly.
“Nothing,” you mutter, trying to turn your face away from him.
“Don’t try and hide from me,” Kaeya scolds, nosing against your cheek to turn you back to him.
“I can tell that something’s wrong. You’ve been crying.”
The revelation is new to you as well, fingers coming to touch your cheeks as you realise there’s a distinctive wetness coming from your eyes. Your cheeks are cold with tears, blinking exacerbating the problem as Kaeya’s face swims in front of you. Once you realise you’re crying the feelings come up again - a desperate inadequacy that really wasn’t anybody else’s fault but yours - and your lips immediately go into a pout as you try to hold back the tears.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he says quickly, falling to his side of the bed and pulling you back into his arms.
“I didn’t want to make you cry, let me hold you.”
His voice soothes your racing heart, mind stilling for the first time since you returned home after leaving him at the tavern. He returned much earlier than you thought he would have, thinking he might have just had a drink or two too many and forgotten why he was there in the first place after being a bit tipsy. You weren’t going to condemn him for having a social life after all, knowing how stressful work was for him lately.
“You were having a good time - I - I didn’t want to bother you,” you blubber, crowing more into him while he nods at your words.
“This is more than just tonight though, isn’t it?” he soothes. “You can tell me what’s on your mind, you know that for a fact.”
“I know,” you sniffle, leaning into his touch slightly as his palm cups your cheek.
“I know but I don’t want to weigh you down. You have so many important things to do - it’s not your fault I just didn’t know how to bring it up without worrying about how it might affect you and-”
Your messy ramblings are cut short when he presses his lips to yours again, stealing the breath out of your lungs and distracting you just for a minute. The jumping thoughts in your mind slow with each passing second and you think he’s forgotten you both need to breath when your head begins to spin from the lack of air.
Inadvertently - or probably on purpose knowing him - the lack of oxygen makes you forget all about whatever it was you were crying about as you lightly grab his shirt, Kaeya coming off of you with a slight gasp right against your lips. He looks into your eyes with his, stunning you into silence even more.
“You are one of the most important things to me,” he whispers against you reverentially, palm still resting on your face.
“You have no idea how much it kills me to see you trying so hard to fight something I know I can help you with. Just tell me what I can do for you, please.”
You know you can never deny him, especially when he’s right above you with a pleading look and his touch on your body. Kaeya was impossible in every sense of the word and you know that denying him wasn’t going to work. Eventually you know you’ll give in so you decide to give in now, taking his hand off of you and sitting up against the headboard. He joins you, leaning up against the wood and putting his hand on your thigh.
“Everybody loves you so much,” you begin, fiddling with your hands.
“Including me. And I know your eyes aren’t straying from me. I have no reason to doubt that at all. But I can’t help but wonder sometimes if you’d be happier with someone else.
“Earlier today I saw you talking to someone else while you were waiting for me. You just seemed so at peace. It looked right and I don’t know why but I felt like, at that moment, you two were dating. It wasn’t you and I, it was you and them. That made me so jealous but I couldn’t properly articulate it so I’ve just been moping at home trying to get over it.”
He takes your words in, fingers combing through your hair while you speak. The silence that falls over your bodies afterwards is comfortable, not scary and you’re glad for it as he settles back into bed next you. Burying his face into your neck, you get the distinct sense that for whatever reason he’s seeking comfort from you. Kaeya doesn’t say too much, more wrapped up in finding solace in you before he speaks against your skin.
“You’re right but just because you know that doesn’t mean you’re going to be immune to feelings of jealousy.”
His words make sense and normally you’d be much more able to respond but the affectionate, almost sleepy way he holds you is dulling your thoughts as you bury yourself more into him.
“I want you to know though that I love you so much,” he continues, muttering.
“I wake up because I want to see you and go to bed with you as the last thought on my mind. There’s nothing I want more than to stay right here like this for the rest of my life but if I did then I wouldn’t be able to have happy days either. Really, I’ve put myself in quite a conundrum,” he chuckles, yawning a little at the end of his words.
“You are so fucking cheesy,” you say half-heartedly, already beginning to feel a little more at ease through his reassurances.
“No I’m not,” he whines.
“I’m just trying to tell you how much I love you. No matter what it is you feel I’ll be here to tell you that your feelings are unfounded. Do you believe me?’
“Of course I do,” you placate, his breath against you reminding you that he was here, with you.
“I love you so much Kaeya. I just know that if someone else were to make you happier-”
His hand slaps over your mouth and you’re stopped, shocked at the random show of energy so contrary to how he normally is when you two are getting ready for bed.
“Don’t you even start that up again. You are my happiness,” he says with finality, eye peering at you from below.
“Now, when I take my hand off your mouth you’re going to repeat after me, got it?”
You raise a brow and he sits up a little, waiting for your response. He only lets go when you nod slowly, falling back onto you with a comforted sigh.
“Kaeya loves me,” he starts.
“Kaeya, this is so stupid-”
“You want to lose the gift of speech again?” he mockingly threatens, the heel of his palm resting against your cheek.
“I just think that this is ridiculous!”
“Just repeat after me. Kaeya loves me.”
He doesn’t say anything else, but you feel him press against your face a little more which makes you relent, sighing and repeating after him.
“Kaeya loves me.”
“And he will spend the rest of his life keeping that promise he made to himself.”
“And he will spend the rest of his life keeping that promise he made to himself.”
“Nice. Now, good night darling.”
He’s about to doze off and you shake him a little, confused at the knowledge of some promise Kaeya made apparently about you without your knowledge.
“What promise?” you ask.
“Oh that? You aren’t supposed to know the contents of that, just that I’ll do everything I can to keep my promise to you,” he responds lazily, trying to get you to leave him alone.
“It’s not much of a promise if I don’t know what it is!”
“We can talk about it later. Just go to sleep, please? It’s been a day and a half.”
“Kaeya.”
There’s a thinly veiled threat in the tone of your voice and he groans, deciding that he can’t handle being this vulnerable while cuddling up to you. It takes him a moment but he quickly readjusts your bodies to hold your back to his chest, not giving you any leeway to turn and look at him.
“Don’t make fun of me,” he mumbles, speaking into your ear.
“I just want to know. Why are you squeezing me to death?”
“I’ll tell you if you don’t make fun of me,” Kaeya reiterates, fingers twining through yours.
“I’d never make fun of you. Just tell me what you’re talking about so I know. Please?”
You want to turn to look at him, give him your full attention but the fact that he won’t let you look at him makes it clear that whatever it is he wants to say is something he can’t admit to your face. He has almost all the typical markers of his own embarrassment and you’re sure if you could see him his cheeks would be tinted pink and he’d be doing his best to avert your gaze.
It takes him a second but you know he’s ready to tell you when his hold around your body tightens, voice so fragile you think it’d break if Kaeya spoke with anything but a gentle reverence for your being.
“I promise to become a man that’s worthy of your love.”