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It was late, and dark, especially on the moon, and all Taako really wanted to do was collapse in his bed next to his best friend, his sisters incorporeal form floating close by. Weird aspirations, he knows, but hey, he just saved the world, he deserves to rest and relax however he wants.
Alas, Barry was back planetside, working tirelessly on growing Lup’s body, and Taako had insisted to Lup (who was very split between who needed her nearby most) that he would be fine here with chucklefuck one and two for a few days. If he could, he would be off this moon in a second, and down there with them, never looking back. But apparently when you spend a year with people and make ‘attachments’, leaving is never that easy.
Which brings him to the real reason he’s not in bed right now, and instead standing at the edge of his kitchen listening very closely to the wall, behind which he could hear the muffled sounds of someone crying. He shifts on his feet, unsure what to do next and uncomfortable with this vulnerability of caring, before making up his mind and pushing through the curtain.
“Angus? Are you- uh, what’s up, kid?” He whispers into the darkness. The crying stops and Taako takes in the room through his dark vision.
Since The Day of Story and Song, or very shortly after, Angus has been staying here with them, at least at night. It started with a magic lesson that Angus seemed never to want to end, until it ended very abruptly when he passed out from exertion and exhaustion. After some frantic fretting and a good check by both Merle and a competent cleric, Angus eventually woke up, embarrassed, and admitted that he hadn’t slept since The Day of Story and Song, which actually started in the middle of the night, making it almost 72 hours since Angus had slept. There had been a lot of shouting and scolding before Taako cut through the bullshit and talked to Angus.
You gotta sleep, Angus, so just be honest with us. What’s it going to take for you to sleep?
So here he was, ask and you shall be granted.
The room was small, intended to be a sitting room or office hence the curtain instead of a door, but Angus didn’t have a lot of stuff so his small dresser of clothes and single bookshelf fit fine. Right now it was a bit of a mess, Angus may be more competent than the average boy his age but he is no less messy; books stacked up on the floor instead of the shelves, clothes lying about, etc. Angus himself was sitting in his bed, knees tucked up under his chin. His face was blotchy and despite his pajamas and tussled bed head, he was wearing his glasses.
“I- I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He sniffles and Taako steps further into the room, sighing as he steps over clothes to make his way to the bed.
“Ya’know, it is what it is. What are you doin’ up?” Angus looks up at him with tearful eyes, his mouth twitching into a frown in his effort to keep it together.
“I’m sorry sir, I know- I know I have to sleep but-” He inhaled sharply, squeezing his eyes tight, “I just can’t, please sir don’t make me go back to bed I can’t do it, I-” He broke down again, tears streaming down his cheeks and Taako was stunned. He knew Angus was struggling but this was completely new to him, a crying child? What was he supposed to do here? Gods, he wished he had Lup right now, or even Magnus, anyone else to help him deal with this situation.
Alright, pull it together Taako, he thought, if I were Angus what would I need right now?
Light! Humans don’t have darkvision.
He sat down on the bed, carefully so he didn’t squish Angus, and reached over to the farside of the bed to turn his reading lamp on. The room illuminated, and Taako could now see Angus’s blotchy, red face and tears in full color. Awkwardly, he raised a hand and rubbed his arm in what was supposed to be an act of comfort.
“Hey, it’s okay little man, you don’t have to go back to bed if you don’t want to.” Shit, yes he does, at least at some point, “Uh, at least not right now. Why don’t we, uh-” Tea! A voice (that was at least in part Lucretia but he didn’t want to think about that right now) in his head said, “Why don’t we go make some tea?” Angus nodded but didn’t seem to make any move to get out of bed when Taako stood up. His tears, at least, had subsided once he realized Taako wasn’t going to make him go back to sleep but he seemed to be so out of it he didn’t really register what Taako was saying beyond that.
“Com’on kid, let’s go to the kitchen.” Taako held out his hand and Angus took it, finally pushing his covers off and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed to stand up. When he stood, he was unsteady for a moment, but gripped Taakos hand tightly and regained balance.
Together, they walked hand in hand into the kitchen, where Taako turned on the light and released his hand, turning towards the cupboards and grabbing what he needed to make some quick tea. Angus sat himself at one of the barstools and watched him silently.
“So,” Taako said, clearing his throat and turning to face Angus once the water was set to boil, “are you going to tell me what this is all about or and I supposed to guess?” That got a small smile out of Angus, who seemed to be coming back to himself.
“It’s nightmares, sir, I think we both know that.”
“Well, yeah, I kinda figured that part out, but you gotta be more specific. What was it about?” At that, Agnus broke eye contact, seemingly more uncomfortable with the specifics of the matter. Taako sighed and took a few steps toward him, leaning on the bar across from where he was seated. “Look, kid, I want to help, okay? We all do, but we can’t help if you won’t tell us about the problem.” Angus remind silent“You know sometimes talking about things that are scary can make them less so, takes away their power, if you know what I mean?” Angus still didn’t say anything, but he seemed to be contemplating that when the water started to boil. Taako quickly removed the heat and poured two cups, coming to stand in the same spot at the bar. It wasn’t until his tea was cool enough that he could take a sip that Angus spoke.
“Sometimes, they’re about the Hunger.” He looked to Taako for reassurance and he nodded, edging him on. “It’s like, all of the sudden, I’m back at that day, and it’s coming, but this time I can’t find anyone else. It’s like I didn’t follow you to The Director’s room, and you weren’t all there. I-” He took a deep breath to steady himself. “I’m alone, running around looking for you, and I can hear the- the monsters, all around me, and I keep getting scareder and scareder, I hide or- or run, but they find me. They always- they always find me.”
“Angus,” Taako begins but he cuts him off.
“But that’s only sometimes. Or- or most times. Theres other things, things I’ve been thinking about all the time lately that- I can’t seem to get them out of my head. It’s like, It’s like I don’t have control over my thoughts anymore.” He looks up at Taako, making eye contact again, and Taako can see the desperation, the exhaustion in his face. It hits him, not for the first time, how young Angus is. “I’m so tired, all the time, but I just can’t sleep.”
Taako takes a deep breath and tries to center himself. Angus is a kid, he thinks, what about this does he need help with?
“Well, that sucks, kiddo. I mean it, it does, I mean-” He sighs again, “What you’re going through, sucks, and I’m- I’m so sorry.” Angus stares at him in surprise. “You shouldn’t have been there, that day. We should have protected you, not just from an attack but from what you saw. It was some scary shit and-”
“I’m not afraid of the Hunger, sir.” Taako squints and Angus rushes to correct himself. “I mean, I am! I am afraid of it, it’s scary and, and that day was scary, and sometimes I still have nightmares about it but, that’s not what really scares me.”
“Well then, what really scares you?” Angus worried his bottom lip and looked away, before quietly answering.
“I’m afraid of being left alone again.” Taako’s heart stopped and wow he did not expect to be so personally attacked during this conversation. “I worked so hard to fit in here, to be helpful and useful so I could stay, I thought- I thought we were becoming like a family, a family on the moon. But now, I’ve found out that you already have a family, and, and you don’t like the Director anymore, and you’re all moving off the Moon and-” He swallowed hard. “I don’t have a family anymore. I worked so hard, and now I’m all alone again.” There were a few beats of silence before Taako screeched his chair back, and before either of them knew it he was beside Angus, holding him in an uncharacteristically tight embrace. Angus hugged him back, releasing the sobs that at built up in his throat as Taako smoothed his hair back and held him tightly. After a few moments, he pulled back and held him at arm's length, bending over so he was at eye level. Angus was surprised to see tears in Taako’s eyes as well.
“You listen here, Angus.” His voice shook with emotion. “As long as I live, which is a pretty goddamn long time, you will never, never be without a family. We all love you, okay? Magnus, Lucretia, even Merle, and even if we don’t say it or don’t show it, that's just us being emotional babies and you call us out on that shit, okay? Our family, I’m not gonna lie it’s weird, and messy, and fucking huge but you are a part of it, and I’m so upset we ever gave you the impression you weren’t.” Angus, now for the third time this night, threw his arms around Taako again.
“Thank you, sir, thank you! I love you too sir!”
…
About forty five minutes and two cups of tea later, Angus was climbing back in to bed with Taako standing beside him. As he took off his glasses and laid down, Taako leaned over and pulled the blankets up to his chin and Angus smiled up at him.
“Goodnight sir, I love you.”
“I love you too, pumpkin.” He straightened up and took a few steps toward the curtain before stopping and turning around to say, “If you ever tell anyone I got so mushy over this I’ll leave you to live with Magnus and his rancid cooking.”
Angus simply smiled and closed his eyes, knowing that, compared to what he was capable of, that threat was practically a declaration of love in itself.
Taako left the room and went to the kitchen to clean up their mugs where he found Merle, smuggly leaning against the counters.
“What are you so cheery about?” Taako quipped.
“Oh nothing.” Taako was almost back to his room when he heard him sigh and ask, “It’s hard to be a Dad, isn’t it?”
Taako could still hear him laughing over the slamming of his door.