Chapter Text
Faith has always been an important part of your life. After all, it was what you were born and raised in. The belief that God was above and watching used to frighten you as a child, but upon a closer look it made sense that he was omnipotent and omniscient. However, there was always the problem of your thoughts and the feelings of others. Once everyone was aware of your ‘sin’ you were practically discarded and disowned. They were never true devouts, you told yourself. ‘Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.’ So that’s exactly what you did. You decided not to stoop to their level, and instead moved somewhere you could start over.
Crockett Island felt like the perfect place to escape to. It was a place you could continue to practice your faith without everyone knowing your business. The adjustment was difficult, but a few people made it easier. You grew to be good friends with Riley Flynn and Erin Greene, and they helped you set up your new home. They informed you on the talk of the town, and when you were finally ready Erin was the one who brought you to your first mass on the island. That didn’t mean everyone was nice. Beverly Keane made it a point to be almost immediately judgemental, mostly due to your friendship with the two biggest outcasts on the entire island. But you kept your calm, and despite her judging looks and words you went into the church through the left door. It was odd, but it was explained that the right door was never used because Father Paul Hill was the ‘right hand of God.’ You could understand that.
To be completely honest, this session of mass was much different than any other mass you had attended. Father Paul did not simply preach at his sermons, he spoke almost personally to the people of the town. He was confident in the scripture, and yet still soft spoken. You took notice of how the wrinkles around his eyes deepened as he spoke, but were at their deepest when he smiled. He had a nice smile. It was something that distracted you for a moment, but you had to shake the thoughts away. You hadn’t even been in the church that long, and you certainly didn’t need a confession immediately. Still, he did have a very nice smile. It matched his eyes, which you noticed made little to no sense.
Once Father Paul had finished his oration the consecration began. You stood alongside Erin, noticing that Riley decided to hang back for now. It made sense. He said he wasn’t exactly a follower of the church, and that he was only attending to please his mother. That seemed reasonable, especially with everything he had gone through. You made your way up the line, awaiting your turn for both the body and blood of Christ. Never once did you think that being so close to the Father would have an effect on you. He was utterly beautiful. He looked well kept, clean, as one would expect from a priest. But it looked good on him. So did the green chasuble he was wearing. You could just barely catch a glance of the clerical collar below it, symbolizing his status and his purity.
You were almost too distracted when he addressed you. He was quite a bit taller than you, but that didn’t stop your full glance into his eyes. “Body of Christ,” Father Paul spoke calmly, offering the wafer out to you. You took it with a small bow of your head. “Amen.” You placed it in your mouth, forcing your gaze to leave his face. He was rather handsome, and almost impossible to get your eyes off of. Still, you made your way over to Bev. She seemed less than pleased to be in your presence, but glad to have another attendee at the church.
“Blood of Christ.” She held the goblet out to you. Your ‘amen’ was quieter this time, but you had your sip from it. It definitely tasted a bit different than what you were used to. This wine seemed thicker, and maybe slightly more salty. Perhaps it was just because you had been out of mass for a bit of time. It wasn’t that big of a deal. You took your seat in the pew next to Erin, who had some sort of playful glance on her face. She didn’t say anything about it though, so you didn’t ask. Instead you sat and waited for the rest of communion to end. Not many people seemed to attend Saint Patrick’s, so it wasn’t a very long wait.
Everyone gradually made their way out at the end, and you made sure not to get in Leeza’s way as she left with her parents. That would be rather rude. You planned on just going straight home, but as you were stopped as you headed for the steps down.
“Pardon me, I don’t think we’re acquainted.” The words spoken came from none other than Father Paul. You almost felt honored to have him speaking directly to you again. You shook your head.
“No, we aren’t, Father. My name is Y/N. I only recently moved to the island from the mainland. It took me a little to work up the courage to actually attend mass.” You saw no reason to lie to him, especially when he was the priest. ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness.’
Father Paul seemed pleased by your honesty. You were met with that charming smile once again, and the crow’s feet that came in response. “I’m glad that you’ve decided to attend this time. The house of God is always accepting new members. Forgive me for prying, but is there a certain reason you would be discouraged from attending?”
The question was so innocent, yet that didn’t stop the slight sting behind the memory. He seemed so curious, as if he had never been afraid of attending church a day in his life. Of course he hadn’t been. He was the priest, idiot. You gave a hesitant smile. “Drama on the mainland, I’m afraid. Please don’t worry, Father. I’ll be a committed member from this moment forward.”
Father Paul nodded, glad to hear that. “If you ever feel discouraged from attending again I do personal visits. My only current one is Miss Gunning, since she can’t attend. But it would be unfair if you were excluded simply because you were overwhelmed. The shepherd must care for all his sheep.”
That didn’t sound all that bad. You’d definitely have to clean up a bit more for a visit from him, but mass at home felt much less stressful. Maybe you’d do that for a little, just until you were completely comfortable with Saint Patrick’s. It also wouldn’t be half bad to have Father Paul in your house, privately. Who wouldn’t want that? You quickly had to stop that train of thought. It was truly too early to be doing a confessional. It would be especially awkward when your confession was about the priest, to the priest. You didn’t want to imagine the look on his face when you admitted to such a thing.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Father.” You gave him another smile before making your way down the steps. Erin was waiting for you, that look still on her face. You didn’t bother to ask, already having a good idea. Moving to this island may have been the best decision in your life.