Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Adrenaline is one hell of a drug.

And after living on it for nearly five years you start to forget what it’s like to be at peace. 

With Vecna defeated and Max and Eddie on the mend, they were slowly starting to ease into a life post upside down.

Hopefully, 

It gets old to hope for an end and after a while, you get used to holding your breath and waiting for the shoe to drop.

With Max and Eddie both out of the hospital and the Byers-Hoppers moving back into Hawkins, a new normal was slowly coming to build. Everyone had their old schedules to try and fall back into, Robin and Steve went back to working at Family Video, somehow roping Eddie into a job with them (both didn’t want him out of their sight, all too aware of how the town was still whispering in the streets even though Hop had cleared his name) Hopper himself went back to the station and took up his mantle as if he never left, Powell more than happy to hand it off after the events of the spring, Joyce kept her telemarking job, Nancy ended up going to college solo while Jonathan opted to take a gap year, not ready to leave his family after such a shakeup, and the kids all went back to school. 

It was slow, but they were learning, to lean on each other, to mend, to be. 

To breathe again.

After spending nearly a year in a Russian prison, Hopper was... Different. 

No one complained, barely anyone mentioned it, but he was softer. 

More observant,

And definitely more protective. 

El was very rarely ever seen without him, the girl plastering herself to his side as if he would disappear again, Joyce also always at his side, helping him shift back into living and not surviving. 

Jonathan and Will were both trying to adapt to having another man in the home after going so long without it, even with Bob there was still the fact that Bob visited, and Jim lived with them.

Jim understood too, he liked them enough, (probably loved them, but he had a hard time admitting it,) but he didn’t want to push them. 

Everyone had their support system, hi was El and Joyce, Jon and Will’s was Joyce and their friends, as for the friends…

There was a small part of Hopper that worried about the rowdy bunch of misfits, but for the most part, the kids had someone to go home to at the end of the day,

Dustin had Claudia, Erica and Lucas had both their parents, Mike had his family (as distant as they were, Karen was always there for her kids), and Eddie had Wayne. From what he knew about Robin, she also had parents, (a little distant but they loved their daughter)

His main concern was the two without family. 

After everything, Susan had quit drinking, she tried to step up and look after Max, and while she had been doing good, addictions were hard to beat (he would know) and there were days Max was quieter than usual, more distant from her band of morons. He’d watch her closer on those days, try to be a presence enough to show he was there, offer her to stay the night with El, (if it was a weekend he’d rope Joyce into letting her stay longer. Joyce never disagreed.)

The Sinclairs seemed to catch on, Max spent more time with them, Sue opened her home immediately and made sure Max and Susan both knew they were welcomed, Charlie right behind her. He was happy to know she had a support system, knowing what little he did about what she suffered at the hands of that skinned bastard.

Steve though,

He was a different story,

a can of worms Hopper had been wanting to open since 1984 but was too apprehensive to at the time, a child who acted more like an adult, someone who would sit with his back to the wall and watch intently, taking in every move made in his vicinity, watch for cues from the kids, study the adults like he was trying to read their motives, and only ever really showed vulnerability to the Buckly girl and Muson every now and again. 

He’d been more than aware of Steve before all of this nonsense took place, busting parties every other weekend, and the noise complaints from the house every once in a blue moon. 

It was always Steve who answered the door, cracking it slightly and peaking out to just tell Hopper there was no issue, there was a fight and they had worked it out before closing the door just as quickly.

He wished he had read between the lines earlier, watched him more intently when he was a child,

actually been there for him.

It only took one offhand comment in a conversation for him to truly unravel the mystery that was Steve Harrington.

It was family movie night, Max and Eddie were still in the Hospital, Steve had just gotten out that week and instead of taking it easy, he was zipping around the house, getting snacks and blankets, handing things to the kids, and making sure everyone was settled before going back into the kitchen, Hopper hot on his heels.

He found him sitting on the countertop, sipping at a glass of water idly as he spaced out. Part of him wanted to reprimand him for sitting on the counter but instead, he moved to the fridge and pulled out a beer, sipping from it as he watched the teen with a close eye. 

“Did I forget something?” 

It scared the shit out of him, but eight months in a prison will teach you not to show a reaction,

“Na kid I just wanted a beer.”

Steve hummed in response, placing his glass down and watching the party from the doorway, eyes flitting quickly as he moved from head to head, counting, and then counting again. And then recounting, as he absently raised his leg and sat his foot on the counter, leaning his chin on his knee, making a dirt footprint on the countertop,

Hopper snorted, lightly whacking his leg, getting a flinch from the kid, 

Unpack that later, 

“Jesus Kid, get your muddy shoe off the countertop, who raised you, a pack of wolves?”

Steve looked back at Hopper, his eyebrow cocking up questioningly as he left his foot on the countertop, 

“I did? Is this like, bad or something? I’ll clean it up later.” 

It was meant as a light stab, something to tease him about but Hopper felt a cold tug at his gut at how blase he had answered the question, 

“What do you mean you did? Pretty sure your parents would disagree.” 

Steve huffed a laugh, turning back around and draining his glass before hopping off of the counter, pulling a rag out of the sink, and wiping the footprint, as if nothing had occurred.

Hopper wanted to ask him again to get him to answer but Dustin called Steve over and like a shot, the lanky teen was moving back into the room. 

Once the movie was over and all the kids filed out, Steve driving everyone but their kids home he took Joyce into the kitchen and told her about the interaction, an angry glint flittering in her eyes as she huffed, 

“I had always hoped they were just rumors,” she grumbled under her breath, moving to put away whatever had been left out, 

“Rumors?” 

He felt like there were pieces to the story he was missing, things he hadn’t been told when he initially took the job as Chief of Police. Joyce sighed, closing the fridge and leaning against it, looking out to see if the boys and El were there before turning back to face Jim,

“About his parents, Jim.”

And it all clicked in, the pieces fall into place, and a small angry flame built in his gut, 

“No one ever did anything about it?” 

“You included you hypocrite.” his mind helpfully supplied as Joyce looked at her feet, 

“Some of us tried, but there was no solid proof. I was- Lonnie was still in the picture or else I would have offered for him to come over with Jon after school. Karen said there was a rumor that they would leave him home alone, but there was always a car out front so no one ever checked. But, whenever they were home… you knew when they were home” 

Hopper felt his blood boiling, 

“What about the cops? Didn’t anyone ever go investigate?” 

Joyce barked a laugh, shaking her head as she moved to wash dishes, 

“Jim, you were the first person to actually listen to me, back in '83 when Will was kidnapped. You know that right?”

He didn’t like where this was going, 

“What do you mean Joyce?”

Joyce filled the sink, watching the bubbles rise as she sighed, 

“Enough cash will keep anyone quiet. That’s why they’ve been paying us for the last four years right? Turns out it works for cops too.” 

Hopper felt a seething rage under his skin at the implications, knowing that it was more or less not just Steve and Joyce who had suffered under those circumstances. 

“Honey, I know you mean well. And I fully support what you want to do.”

Joyce turned around to face him, her arms soapy as she wiped them on the front of her shirt, 

“But you need to understand something, this isn’t an El situation. She was young, she had no clue what it was like to be raised by anyone. All she knew was that damn lab and that piece of shit Brenner. It took her a while to trust you but it was easier because she could read your intention.”

Oh, this is where it was going. 

“Steve’s different. He’s gone years fending for himself, and if I’m right, years of conditioning to…. Surviving. What I’m saying is, that he’s not going to trust you. Not right off the bat, and probably not as quickly as El did. Everything you do he’s going to try and find your angle, anything you say he’s going to interpret three different ways, he’s going to be waiting for the shoe to drop. He has been for a while I think.” 

Hopper sighed, pulling Joyce in and embracing her, resting his chin on her head, 

“I can work with that.”

And somehow, Hopper pseudo adopted another kid. 

Steve had no idea, Hopper was fine with that for the most part, and it was painfully slow.

He’d talk to Steve more now, ask him how he was doing, try some small talk about his interest (there weren’t many from what he gathered, another red flag he should have picked up) talk about random things as well, but the one thing that always got Steve talking was the kids.

He would talk about their achievements, what they had done lately, what he had seen in them, anything and everything. It was a common ground for the two of them, something safe to talk about while he also watched him intently, slowly getting closer both emotionally and physically to the odd teen. 

By the time Eddie and Max were released and family nights were becoming a norm at the Byers-Hopper house, and somehow, slowly but surely, Steve was not isolating himself as much. He would watch from his spot against the wall before making his way to the group, slowly, and either sit with the kids and let them babble at him, let El braid his hair and Max lean on him and whisper, or he’d sit with the older kids, squeezed between Robin and Eddie, or across from Nancy, shoulder to shoulder with Jonathan, and occasionally he’d find himself beside Argyle, and once in a while He'd sit next to the chair Joyce was in, head leaning against the arm. It took a little more time until he was completely comfortable around Hopper though,

It was a Saturday evening in September, rain pelting against the windows as they all watched Labyrinth.

Steve had offered to finish putting dinner away as everyone else watched the movie. Robin and Nancy were sitting together on one of the chairs, the kids all sprawled out on the floor with the exception of El who was sitting curled up next to Joyce in another chair. Eddie, Jonathan, and Argyle were all sitting under Robin and Nancy, whispering about the movie more than watching it and Hopper had occupied the couch, not fully paying attention to the movie and more so listening to the sounds of his family when he felt the couch dip slightly.

He could feel his heart thumping in his chest as he felt someone sit next to him, body taunt but trying to relax into the couch. 

Slowly, Hopper reached his arm around the back of the couch and ruffled Steve’s hair, before settling his arm on the back of the couch. Steve hummed softly, his body relaxing slightly as he eased into the couch, eyes fixed on the screen. It was another half hour before he felt his head slowly lean into his shoulder, the sound of soft snores coming off of the now completely relaxed boy.

Hopper felt his heart swell with excitement, slowly bringing his arm around to rest it over his shoulder and pull him in closer, a small grunt coming off of him as he tensed, 

“Relax kid, it’s just me.”

Steve hummed in response before he settled again, deeper into the older man’s shoulder. 

Jim felt a warmth bloom in his chest that he had only experienced a handful of times in his life, each being moments he had shared with his daughters.

After five minutes of soaking up the feeling, he turned to Joyce, feeling her eyes on him the entire time to gauge her response.

Joyce was smiling, tears brimming in her eyes as she watched them a hand running absently through El’s hair as she also slept on Joyce’s shoulder .

Hopper gave her a little nod and a smile, Joyce returned the action before they turned their attention back to their respective child, the movie still playing in the back as the kids squabbled over whether or not Ludo could win a fight against a Demogorgon and the boys whispered about David Bowie and the girls made comments on the graphics, while his boy softly snored into his shoulder and his girl snuggled into his lover.

Life was good now. He wanted it no other way.

But he was Jim Hopper, and bad habits die hard, along with beliefs that he’s a walking curse, and it wasn’t long before October rolled around and so did the disruption of their carefully constructed peace. 

And as early snow danced in the night sky, Hopper paced the waiting room to Hawkins Memorial, a sick feeling twisting in his gut as memories flooded back from the last time he brought a child to a hospital for strange symptoms and while he didn’t have agent orange to blame this time, He couldn’t help feeling like he should have known this was going to happen.

It was a matter of time until karma struck again.

Chapter Text

It all happened so fast, in the blink of an eye, their lives were flipped upside down again.

One moment they were making dinner, El and Will working on their homework while Steve and Jonathan bickered over something useless while setting the table in the dining room, Joyce and Jim working in tandem as they fried pork and sauteed greens, talking over the plan for tomorrow. 

The next Jonathan was calling Steve’s name in a panic, Joyce and Jim dropped what they were doing and rushed into the dining room. 

Jonathan was crouched in front of Steve holding him by his shoulders gently shaking him where he sat on the floor as the other stared blankly ahead, completely unaware of the commotion, his eye fluttering slightly.

Joyce gently took Jonathan by the arm, pulling him away as Jim took his place, kneeling down in front of Steve, one arm holding his shoulder and the other the back of his neck as he tried to talk to him, panic welling in his gut. He could hear El and Will join them, Joyce putting herself and Jonathan in front of the kids to block them.

Steve blinked, his eyes coming into focus and something loosened in Jim’s chest, 

“You ok Kid?”

Steve blinked again, his eyes drifting past Jim almost like he was trying to figure out where he was, his jaw ticking slightly. The panic was back full force as he directed Steve's head slightly to get his attention again,

“Hey, eyes on me kid, answer me, are you alright?” 

Steve’s eyes snapped back to his, a hint of panic flaring in his irises as he looked like he was trying to form words but they would come out, in lieu of answering verbally Steve shook his head, fear fully setting in his eyes as panic raged in Jim’s veins, 

“It’s alright take a breath. Can you do that for me, Steve?” 

He tried to, a shuddering inhale and exhale as he reached out and snatched Jim’s wrist, his hand trembling, 

“Something’s wrong,” he mumbled as his grip loosened, eyes rolling to the back of his head as his body went slack.

Jim caught him, swearing as Joyce shouted, Jonathan, grabbing both El and Will’s wrist and dragging them out of the way, both panicked and shouting. 

“Joy get the door,” 

he was up in an instant, shifting his hold on Steve to a bridal carry as Joyce told Jonathan to turn off the stovetop and ran for the door. The drive to the hospital was a blur, between Jonathan trying to assure the kids everything was ok and Joyce trying to soothe the panic, and Steve coming in and out of it, he could hardly focus on one thing at a time.

He pulled up half hazard,  jumping out of his truck and carefully scooping Steve back up, the boy in one of his rare moments of clarity whispering apologies as Hopper felt bile rising in his throat, 

“You’re ok son, don’t worry, you’re going to be ok.”

His voice was wavering as he took quick strides to the door, the familiar smell of antiseptics hitting him as soon as he stepped over the threshold, Steve gently rapped against his chest, his eyes fluttering again as he went lax, Hopper’s stomach lurching in response, 

“SOMEBODY HELP!” 

The ER burst into action, someone pushing a gurney over and urging him to lay the teen down. Hopper gently deposited him into the bed his heart clenching as they carefully pushed him aside, a nurse asking him questions that he answered as best he could before they moved out, leaving him to pace in the waiting room. 

At some point Joyce and the kids had joined him, Joyce immediately moving to pull him into a hug, her small arms grasping him tightly as he inhaled sharply. El was next, barreling into him as Joyce moved to hold her boys, whispering something to them as they sat in the chairs to wait it out. 

It was an hour and forty-five minutes before he heard anything from the doctors. 

“Harrington?”

Hopper whipped around, Joyce and the kids on their feet in a matter of seconds. The doctor gave them an eyebrow, obviously expecting his actual parents to show but brushed it aside as soon as Hopper glared at him, 

“Well?”

The doctor sighed, looking over his chart,

“We aren’t sure yet. But he’s stable and in a room if you’d-”

“Yes.”

The doctor nodded, moving to walk down the hall again as Jim followed, Joyce instructing the kids to wait for her to come back for them before following Jim down the hall.

Apparently, Steve had woken briefly, completely out of it and confused only to crash again, although this time it was followed by a seizure. They were running tests and had him sedated to prevent him from fighting people off again. But the only thing that kept running through Hopper’s mind was the first thing the doctor had told them,

“It could be a brain tumor,"

He couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t sit by and watch one of his kids die again. Joyce had grabbed his hand at that point and hadn’t let go since, squeezing to show assurance. 

“He’s in 208, call if you need anything.” 

Hopper nodded once and Joyce thanked the doctor before they both turned to the slightly ajar door a shock running through Jim's core again. 

“Hey, do you need a minute?”

He looked down, Joyce looking up at him with sympathetic eyes. He took a breath, before shaking his head, 

“No I’m-” he exhaled and pushed the door open knowing if he stalled anymore he wouldn’t go in.

Steve was asleep, his face an unnatural neutral expression and his hands folded over his stomach. He looked small, too small for Jim’s liking, and while he had looked fine at the beginning of the day now he looked worn out. Joyce made a soft noise before entering the room, leaving Jim frozen in the doorway as he stared, his mind flashing back and for from the past to now. 

Joyce whispered softly, sitting on the edge of the bed and brushing Steve’s bangs off to the side gently, a choked noise coming out of Steve’s throat as his brow furrowed at her touch. 

The sound snapped Jim out of his trance as he made three quick strides to the bed and sat on the other side, rubbing his hand softly, 

“It’s alright kid, it’s just us. You’re ok.”

At the sound of his voice, Steve sturred again, his eyes cracking open as he fought against the sedation,

“Hey Honey, you’re alright. You can sleep.” Joyce said softly, her hand stroking his hair. Steve blinked again, his eyes drifting over to Joyce and then back to Jim, confusion clear in his hazy eyes. 

“You’re at the hospital kid, collapsed on us at home.”

It didn’t seem to bring any sense of understanding to him as he looked back at Joyce before shifting again, looking at Jim with a small bit of clarity in his eyes, 

“Somethings wrong” he mumbled, his hand twitching under Jim’s. The more he said it the worse Hopper felt, 

“I know kid, we’re going to figure it out. Don’t worry.”

He shifted his hand, taking Steve in his own and giving it a squeeze. Steve gave a gentle squeeze in return, his lips still drawn in a thin line. He stopped fighting the medicine, his eyes slipping shut again as he gave in, and Jim felt his chest constrict. 

“He’s sleeping Jim, it’s alright.”

how Joyce was able to read him was beyond him. He nodded in form of an answer, both of them watching the boy sleep. 

“He’s said that twice now.”

Joyce hummed, also clearly trying to think of a reason behind it. He tried to think over everything in the last few months, and see if there was anything standing out that could have pointed to what happened. 

Steve had been more sluggish lately, not startlingly so but enough that the kids would gripe about him being boring. He was also more unfocused, seeming to space out mid-conversation, he blamed both on a lack of sleep. From the looks of him, he had also lost weight, not an alarming amount but he seemed thinner, and now that he was thinking about it, was a lot lighter than he should have been.

“Jim?”

He snapped out of it again, turning to look at Joyce, her brows pinched,

“We missed the signs.” 

Her brow furrowed more at his statement, confusion painting her face, 

“He’s been off kilter Joyce, said he was tired. Something was up and I missed the signs.”

“Again” the traitorous voice in the back of his mind supplied as Joyce frowned, 

“Jim. you didn’t miss- it’s not your fault. We don’t even know what it is-”

“Well whatever it is Joyce, we could be too late.”

Joyce sighed, reaching over and placing her hand on his hand that was still wrapped around Steve’s,

“Or we caught it on time. I know it’s hard but, we have to try to stay optimistic. We don’t know anything yet so we need to just try and not get ahead of ourselves.”

Ever the voice of reason in his life, Joyce came through again, placing a kiss on his cheek before doing the same to Steve, 

“I’m going to get the kids. Let them see him and then I’ll take them home. I’m sure they’ve already called everyone.” 

He nodded absentmindedly, feeling the bed shift as she stood placing a delicate hand on his shoulder before stepping out and leaving them alone.

Guilt wrapped around him like a vice as he watched the steady rise and fall of Steve’s chest. He sighed, the burning growing as he reached out and softly brushed his bang aside, studying the boy's face, his mind still playing a dangerous game of past vs present. 

He didn’t know what he was going to do when the inevitable bad news dropped, he wished he had left well enough alone, be content enough to watch Steve from a distance and let someone else get close to him. 

This kid had suffered enough, been through hell and back four times, coming out of each fight looking worse than the last, on top of it all he had whatever was going on with his family, the topic still not something he had breached with the boy. And now this.

Whatever this was.

And he hated whatever this was.

“I’m sorry kid,” he mumbled, gently squeezing his hand again as he turned his attention to the drifting snow outside.

Chapter Text

Joyce had let the kids stop by before taking them back home, placing a kiss on Jim’s cheek again and promising to return in the morning after the kids went to school. 

Jim called into the station making them aware of his absence for the next day or so before setting up camp in the chair and falling asleep, the muscle memory on how to get most comfortable in the chair set in as he let himself drift, waking up twice when the nurses came in for a check and then knocking out again until he heard something, pulling him out of his sleep. 

Steve was sitting up, alert with a slight flush to his cheeks and his usually perfectly manned hair sticking out in strange angles, picking at the tape that held the I.V in place as he watched the doorway like a hawk, listening to the voices down the hall. 

“Hey, don’t pick at that.” 

Steve whipped around, blinking owlishly at the older man, his hands frozen in action. Jim wanted to laugh at the reaction, clearly catching him off guard as he yawned and stretched, Steve watching him closely, still having not said anything. 

“You sleep, ok kid?”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, his head tipping to the side as he subconsciously picked at the tape again,

“Head hurts.”

Jim nodded, a prickle of fear on the back of his neck. Steve never openly admitted to being in pain or distress, so if he was open enough to say it, it either meant he was loopy or in serious pain.

“You been up for a while?”

Steve looked back out the door before looking back at Jim and shrugging. Jim nodded again, standing up and gently removing his hand from picking the tape,

“do you remember what happened?” 

Steve sat still, looking past Jim with a confused look plastered to his face before looking up at him and shaking his head.

“Not very talkative today,” he thought to himself, also storing that information away.

Steve seemed to be the most talkative out of his little family in the mornings, from the few times he did stay over the night. He was almost always up first, making breakfast with Jonathan and talking the poor boy’s ear off about everything and nothing. 

“Kinda feel funny.”

“Somethings wrong” Jim stiffened slightly before ruffling the teen's hair to try and play off his nerves, 

“Yeah, they gave you something to help sleep last night, did a couple of tests too.”

Steve hummed in response, tapping his thigh, 

“What happen?”

Jim bit the inside of his cheek, shifting from his bad ankle to his good one as he watched Steve closely,

“We were making dinner and you blanked out, passed out. Had a seizure, apparently more than one.”

“Oh”

“Yep.”

 Steve looked back outside to the hall, almost like he was waiting for someone-

“Did my- is Joyce here?” 

Parents. He was looking for his parents. Jim wanted to punch a wall.

Apparently, Joyce had called them before she left, their secretary sent their regards and let her know to call back tomorrow. Joyce looked like she was ready to find them and throw the first punch after telling him once Jonathan had taken the kids out to the truck. 

“Yeah, she was here. Went home for the night with the kids-”

“The kids were here?”

Oh shoot, 

“No not them, well Will and Jane, yes but it was just the Byers and Jane.” 

“Oh.” 

He looked slightly relieved, still sitting ridged as his foot twitched under the cover. 

“Has anyone checked you yet kid?”

He shook his head as a response, eyes trained on the doorway again. 

“Alright, I’m gonna find a nurse, have someone come check on you, ok?” 

He nodded in response. Hopper sighed, pushing the creeping feeling back down as he ruffled Steve’s long hair again before walking out to find a nurse.

Steve complied with the nurse, not fully paying attention as she checked his vitals and asked him the standard questions, he answered his name and date of birth right, messed up the date though, and Jim’s stomach flipped as the nurse wrote it down.

Before leaving she asked if he was hungry, Steve grimaced, shaking his head before blinking again and saying his head hurt. After telling him she’d be back with something for his head she stepped out telling Hopper it would be a little while until the doctor could come to speak to him due to them being short-staffed that morning. He told her it was fine, they were waiting for his partner to which she nodded and left. 

“It snowed.” 

Jim turned around, watching as Steve watched out the window, something flashed in his eyes before he turned back around and blinked at Jim, nodding his head in the direction of the window. Jim chuckled, shaking his head as he went back to sit in the chair, 

“Yep. was snowing last night too.”

Steve made a small ah noise, blinking slowly again, his brow furrowing as he tried to stifle a yawn, 

“Take a nap kid, I’ll wake you up when Joyce gets here.”

Steve squirmed slightly, not fully sitting back yet and his nose twitched, 

“What ‘bout Rob and Eddie.”

“What about them, kid?”

“They’re at work?”

Jim nodded, sitting back slightly, 

“They’ll come by later, kid. Take a nap.”

Steve yawned, shrugging back down into the bed and turning on his side, facing Hopper as he drifted off, mumbling something before he fell asleep again. Hopper sighed, reaching over and picking up the phone on the bedside table and putting in Joyce’s number, listening to the ring dial before she picked up,

“ Byer’s residence we’re busy-”

“Joy it’s me.”

“Oh, Jim! Hey, I’m on my way out actually, did something happen?”

He looked over at the now sleeping boy, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose, 

“Not yet. The kid woke up though, wasn’t very talkative. Said his head hurt”

“That’s odd, Steve usually pretty talkative. Could be the medicine though. Did they get something for his head?”

Ever the mother, Jim couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at her rapid-fire questions and solutions, 

“Not yet, said she’d get something for him though, he’s sleeping again, asked for you. And Robin and Eddie.”

Joyce cooed softly as he heard some shuffling,

“ Tell him I’ll be there soon, well actually don’t wake him up. Have you seen the doctor?”

He grimaced, the feeling growing in the pit of his stomach, 

“No. said they were short this morning, I said we were waiting for you anyway.”

“If it’s bad I don’t want to be alone.” goes unsaid as Joyce hums on the other end, 

“ Well hang tight Hon, I’ll be there in a few. I’m gonna hang up alright, love you.”

He smiled, a small warmth blooming in his chest, 

“Love you too.” 

Chapter Text

The morning passed slowly, much slower than Jim would appreciate.

Joyce came shortly after he had called, instantly wrapping him in a hug and fussing over Steve to make sure he was comfortable, only for him to wake up, one eye blinking at a time,

“Hey you, how was your sleep?”

Steve made a soft groan, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand,

“Head hurts.”

Joyce tutted, running a hand through his hair, her cool fingers dancing on his forehead, 

“So I hear Hon, you hungry yet?”

Steve swallows thickly before frowning and shaking his head no, Joyce tsked softly, continuing to run a hand through his hair, 

“You should probably eat something soon sweetheart.”

Steve hummed in response, his gaze drifting to the window before snapping back to Joyce,

“Is everyone ok?”

Joyce’s brow pinched, her hand stopping before she picked up again,

“Everyone’s fine dear. Just you here.”

That seems to calm his nerves the teen easing the tension in his shoulders as he sighed contently at the feeling of Joyce’s cold fingertips. Joyce chuckled, 

“You like that?”

Steve’s face got red, raised a hand to cover his face as she continued to chuckle, never stopping her motions as she looked back up at Jim,

“Hear anything yet?” 

He shook his head, desperately craving a cigarette but unwilling to leave the room, 

“How were the kids this morning?”

“I think they were… wanting to know how things were going, but good.”

Jim nodded, knowing what she meant.

Steve hated whenever someone was worried about him, he’d actively push against whatever it was so they could focus on someone else, and the kids were obviously worried about him after the events of the night, so he understood.

“You’ll probably have visitors later dear, the kids are going to want to see you,”

Steve hummed again, his eyes cracking open as his hand fell from his face, starting up at Joyce, his brow furrowed. 

“Something wrong hon?”

He didn’t answer, almost like he hadn’t heard her as Joyce stopped playing with his hair, taking both her hands and holding his face,

“Steve? Honey are you ok?”

His body tense up his eyes fluttering slightly as the color drained out of Joyce’s face, 

“Jim-”

“I got it, Joyce,”

He pressed the call button, both of them watching the unresponsive boy as his eyes fluttered a small noise trapped in his throat,

“It’s alright Honey, I got you, Jim, where are they-”

“I don’t know Joyce”

He snapped softly, taking Steve’s hand and rubbing a circle on the top of it,

A minute later Steve relaxed, blinking sluggishly as another sound tried to escape him.

“Oh thank God, it’s alright love, I’m here”

Steve looked at her, confusion in his eyes as his hand twitched in Hopper’s hold, 

“Is something wrong?” 

Both Joyce and Jim looked towards the door at the nurse standing in the doorway and a small pang of anger flared in Jim’s chest, 

“Yeah but you’re a little late.”

He snapped as the nurse came into the room checking Steve over and asking him a few questions. Steve didn’t answer her, his brow still knit in confusion as he blinked, looking at her and then at Jim or Joyce, eyes jumping, as if asking them something before Joyce jumped in,

“She’s trying to help dear,” 

Steve’s confusion lifted slightly as he let out a breath, 

“Your Mom’s right sweetie, just looking to help, do you want to hold her hand, or do you want your Dad too?”

Something flipped in Jim’s stomach at the simple question, the same expression of surprise on Joyce’s features as they looked up at each other from either side of the bed. 

“‘m tired.”

The nurse chuckled softly, taking his arm and checking his pulse, 

“I bet you are honey, seizure’ll do that to you.”

“That’s what that was?”

He felt his blood running cold as the nurse nodded, 

“Impaired awareness. Give him a minute to reboot before asking anything, but keep talking to him. I’ll go get some water.”

Both Joyce and Jim sighed, watching her walk out of the room before Joyce sat on the edge of the bed, moving back to play with his hair as Jim ran a hand down his face, pacing the short distance of the room. 

“You’re good now Dear, did a good job staying calm too. Wanna rest for a while?”

Steve hummed, leaning into the touch as he slipped in and out of sleep.

“Any Ideas on what it could be?”

Jim gruffed, pacing back to the bed to see if Steve was asleep and sat on the foot of the bed once he realized he was, 

“No clue. You?”

Joyce tipped her head to the side, still watching Steve before she turned and faced Jim, 

“He’s had a lot of concussions. Maybe this is related?”

God, he hoped that was the case. It was going to suck if it was, but he’d rather that than anything else.

“Maybe. Has he complained about anything like it before?”

Joyce chuckled, shaking her head, 

“Steve doesn’t complain about stuff Jim, you know that. Robin did tell me he has migraines though, started happening after ‘84.”

That made sense, Billy had beat him to a pulp and then he ran through the tunnels with the kids, all but neglecting any form of treatment until he puke in her flowerbed and crashed on the steps.

“Anything else?”

Joyce hummed thoughtfully, before directing her sight back to Steve, 

“Eddie mentioned that he needs glasses. Doesn’t use them but he needs them. And his hearing isn't a hundred percent. That all happened after Starcourt.”

Hopper suppressed the chill that threatened to run down his spine at the mention of the mall and what happened underneath everyone’s nose.

“Hey, if that’s the case, then we know what we’re up against, right?”

Jim snorted, rubbing Steve’s covered leg as he smiled at Joyce, 

“We’re up against a stubborn teen who hates asking for help and thinks he can do everything on his own. And whatever he’s got going on.”

“Oh? Sounds like someone I know, although his teenage days have long since passed,”

Joyce replied, a coy smile on her lips. Jim snorted again, shaking his head as he smiled at her, the love of his life.

She wasn’t wrong, he saw himself in Steve in many ways, it was one of the reasons he had started to try and get to know him better.

“Oh? You’ll have to introduce us, maybe he can help.”

Joyce laughed softly, reaching out and taking his hands, squeezing them softly,

“He already is.”

Chapter Text

At some point, Steve woke up again, Joyce on the phone with a customer and Jim working on some papers as he groaned in frustration.

Jim’s head shot up, an eyebrow quirking in amusement as he struggled to detangle the blankets and his IV, his hospital gown slipping past his shoulder as the back peaked open, 

“You good kid?”

“Need to pee” 

He grumbled, another frustrated growl as he tugged at the blankets only to find the rail up as a defeated sound took place of the anger. Jim put his papers down, striding over to collapse the rail and untangle the blankets with ease, offering a hand to the boy and helping him slide off the bed, grasping the IV pole as he grumbled thanks and shuffled to the bathroom, softly closing the door with a click.

Jim snorted, refixing the blankets and pulling them back so he could cover the teen again once he came out. 

“He seems agitated.” 

Joyce commented, hanging up on her mobile phone as she watched the bathroom door with a furrowed brow. Jim hummed in response, going back to pick up his papers and start reading again,

“Probably doesn’t like being stuck here.” 

He suggested, Joyce, bobbing her head in agreement as she wrote something down in her book, both of them looking up as Steve opened the door, shuffling back to his bed and crawling into it, resolutely not looking at them as he burned a whole into his legs, slowly drawing them up to his chest as he buried his face in his knees. 

Joyce and Jim both shared a look of concern at the reaction before Joyce tried to talk to him, 

“Steve? You ok over there?”

Steve stifled a sob, arms holding his legs tighter as both parents shot up and went to his side, 

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s this about? Are you in pain?”

Steve shook his head as best he could from its hiding spot as Jim eased his arms away and slowly straightened his posture so he was peering over his knees instead of hiding behind them, 

“What’s up kid?”

“I- I was so rude, and I don’t know why. You were being nice and I was a jerk, and I-”

“Hey, that’s enough of that. You weren’t a jerk kid. You were frustrated, I wasn’t hurt by it or anything-”

“That’s not the point. I knew you were trying to be nice and I still was a jerk, and now I’m crying like a loser and I don’t know why-”

Joyce tsked with a frown, lifting Steve’s chin gently as she directed him to face her, 

“Steven Harrington you listen to me, you are not a jerk or a loser. You are in pain, probably confused and worried like the rest of us are, and you are probably tired. Honey, you are dealing with this so well right now, so much better than I would. So cut yourself some slack dear, you can afford to be upset and snappy, yeah?”

Steve studied her face, eyes darting back and forth from Joyce’s deep brown eyes, a small frown on his lips, 

“You’re not mad?”

He whispered,  as Joyce, sighed softly, shaking her head as she stroked his cheek with her thumb, 

“Not in the slightest.”

She kissed his forehead, a few more tears slipping out as he sighed into her touch, allowing her to gently push his knees down so Jim could cover his legs up again, Steve watched him, his eyes still glossy with tears as he wiped a hand across them to try and get rid of the evidence,

“I’m still sorry though.”

Jim chuckled, bringing the blankets up to his waist, 

“If I forgive you, will you let it go?”

Steve nodded, a small smile quirking at the side of his lips as Jim nodded back, 

“Good. then you’re forgiven kid, now get comfy, is there something you want to do to pass the time?” 

Steve sniffed, looking around the room with a slightly bored expression,

“Nothing much to do” 

He mumbled, staring at the small offering of food on the tabletop and the cup of water, 

“Thirsty?”

Steve watched it for a minute, Jim tensing up at his still form before the ghost of a smile returned, 

“I guess I could try jello..”

Jim laughed, bringing the table closer and popping open the little cup of red Jello,

“Atta boy, champ.”

Steve snorted, taking the cup with a roll of his eyes, taking a tentative bite of it as his eyes flickered to the window again. 

Jim returned to his paperwork, Joyce talking on the phone softly taking up residence in the other chair in the corner of the room. 

There was a comfortable silence that fell over the room as they all did their own thing, enjoying each other’s presence without the need to fill the silence, it was comfortable, and for a minute, Jim was able to forget of the impending doom feeling he had grown since he stepped foot inside the hospital late yesterday night. 

There was a soft knock at the door, and the peace shattered, all three members in the room looking at each other as the foreboding feeling settled in the room.

Steve set his cup back on the table, as Joyce finished the call and hung up, going to answer the door as Jim pushed the table aside, watching as Steve pulled his knees up slightly, wrapping his fingers on his kneecaps as Joyce pulled the door open, 

“Oh! You must be Mom. I heard we were waiting for you.”

Joyce chuckled softly standing back as the doctor walked into the room, gesturing for Joyce to join the others as she adjusted her glasses. 

The doctor was short, her course hair styled back and braided carefully, her dark skin contrasting with the bright white coat and the purple dress shirt she wore.

“I’ll start off by introducing myself, I’m Doctor Julia Burns, and I’m the one that’s been overseeing your tests, speaking of, we’ve got some news back on the scans, and I do apologize for it being this late in the morning, I am short a team member so I got caught up,” 

Joyce nodded in understanding as Jim inhaled slowly, begging the fear to disappear as Steve continued to tap at his knees watching the doctor with rapt attention, 

“Is it bad?”

Dr. Burns sighed, moving to hold her clipboard under her arm and taking her glasses off, 

“It really doesn't get any easier to drop the news, so I’ll just lay it out for you guys. The scans came back showing a mass in the frontal lobe of your right side, we aren't sure if there’s a reason to suspect it’s cancerous, but we’re going to need to operate to remove a piece of the tumor to do a biopsy.”

The peace they had built was irradicated with the simple statement, Joyce gasping as she instinctively reach out and took Steve's hand. Steve blinked at her, his face going ashen as his hands shook and Jim,

Jim didn't need another scan, or a biopsy or the head of the medical department to check it out.

he already knew it was their worst-case scenario, the one he had been praying it wasn't.

the Doctor continued to talk, laying out a plan as Joyce nodded along asking questions, taking a seat on the side of the bed, and gently pulling the shell-shocked Steve into her side, but none of it was heard by Jim, the only thing he could hear was the mantra on repeat in the back of his head like a broken record;

Cursed, Cursed, Cursed, Cursed,

Chapter Text

The world was moving in slow motion.

Joyce was sitting behind Steve, rubbing his shoulders as she whispered to him, tears brimming in her eyes, Steve was sitting with his knees drawn up and his face buried in his arms a small tremble running through him as he shut down, blocking the world out.

and Jim,

Jim was sitting in stunned silence next to them. He had a hand on Steve’s lower back, frozen in place as tears well in his eyes against his will.

A thousand things were running through his head at once and in an act of desperation, he shoved everything into the back of his mind and took a breath, turning a round a placing a kiss on the back of  Joyce’s hand before guiding Steve to lean on his shoulder, allowing him to crash into him as silent tears spilled, his body still trembling as he buried his face in his hands.

“It’s ok kid, I’m here.”

Steve’s breath hitches as he shakes his head, hands still covering his face, 

“No- it’s- I’m-”

Jim shushed him, rocking slowly to try and put him at ease as he rubbed his shoulder,

“Breathe Kid, you’re going to get sick.”

Steve let out a strangled noise shaking his head again, 

“I- I’m trying but- I c can’t. This is s so stupid-”

Jim sighed, resting his face on Steve’s head as he continued to rock him, his emotions fraying,

“Yes, you can. I know you can. Do it with me ok, breath in, hold it for a second, there you go, breathe out. Good. do it again,” 

He walked Steve through several more breaths before he slowly started to calm down his body relaxing as his hands slowly dropped from his face to his lap. His eyes were red and puffy, the rest of his face splotchy as he sniffled, looking out the window as he continued to breathe slowly. Joyce made a soft noise, nabbing three tissues before she rounded the bed and to wipe his face, only for him to flinch backward,

“It’s ok dear, I know this is a lot. Let me help, yeah?” 

Steve sighed again before letting her, Joyce thanking him softly as she gently dabbed his face. 

“The kids-”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there kid,”

“What about-”

“Them too. Just try to focus on breathing for now, yeah”

Jim could feel him nod into his shoulder, his breaths still coming out patchy as Joyce talked softly and tossed the tissues. Sitting across from Jim and facing Steve as she took his hands, 

“We’re going to figure this out. As a family, ok?”

Steve looked at her, his eyes glassy as he blinked, taking another breath, 

“Someone has to, I need to tell my parents.” 

“I’ll worry about that dear-”

“They won’t believe you.”

He seemed to realize too late that he said that out loud, his jaw snapping shut as he made a soft noise of frustration, moving to cover his face again only for Joyce to tug at his hands and keep them down,

“Hey, it’s ok Steve. I’m not mad. I’ll talk to them alright, have the doctor talk to them too.” 

Hopper could feel the rage prickling under his skin as he listened to the conversation, continuing to take steady breaths to try and mirror what he wanted Steve to follow, and left the talking to Joyce. 

If he ever saw the Harringtons it would be too soon.

Steve’s body went slightly ridged against his shoulders and a prickling fear went up his spine as Joyce tilted her head to try and get Steve's eyes on hers 

“Steve? Honey are you there?”

He didn’t answer, staring blankly at his hands as she tried again only to look up at Jim with a spark of fear in her eyes, 

“Jim I think he’s-”

Before she could finish Steve started to relax, lifting his head slightly and dropping it back on Jim’s shoulder with a sigh. Joyce and Jim both held their breath, Joyce gently tugging his hands again, “you back dear?”

Steve’s eye flickered to her’s confusion trickling through them, 

“Where’d I go?”

Joyce let out her breath, rubbing her thumb on his hand, 

“Spaced out dear, I think it was a seizure.”

“Oh.”

Steve shifted, his eyes drooping slightly as he started to shut down again. Jim and Joyce flickered a look at each other, worried dancing in their expression as he looked back at his hands, 

“I- can I sleep?”

Jim sighed, rubbing his arm again, 

“Sure thing kid.”

Steve nodded once before moving to his side a little more, shifting down so he was laying flat with his back to both of them, wrapping his arms around his waist.

The two looked at each other again, both fully aware of what was probably going through the teen's head as he drifted to sleep, waiting until his breathing steadied out to whisper to each other, 

"Someone needs to call his parents, Jim"

Jim sighed, scrubbing his face in an effort to discreetly do away with the tears, 

"I'll handle it Joy."

she nodded, fiddling with Jim's hands as she blinked back tears, letting the heavy silence blanket the room, Jim sighing again and bracing for the next area of importance, 

"Joy, we're going to need to tell the kids."

"I know..."

they both didn't want to, the fear of actually saying it making it too real, but there was no way Jim was going to leave breaking the news to Steve.

"we'll do it together. after they visit?"

Jim turned around, watching Steve's steady rise and fall of his chest as something prickled in his own, threatening to close them shut, 

"yeah. probably should tell the older kids before. we'll tell the younger group after, let him have a moment of normality,"

"give him something to grasp to, something to escape to while he still can," he thought and Joyce, ever the wonderful woman, must have read his mind as she stood, placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, and leaned over to place another to Steve's head before squeezing his shoulder, 

"I'm going to go talk to Robin and Eddie, see if they can come over. Jon will come by in the next fifteen minutes ok?" 

Jim tried to smile, the light not reaching his eyes as he nodded in agreement,

"hey. We got this, ok? He has us, and you have me."

a tear falls against his will as he looks down at the ground, trying to escape the emotions flooding through him, slowly standing and pulling Joyce into an embrace, 

"We got this."

Chapter Text

The dial tone rang for the third time as Jim pinched the bridge of his nose. 

From his spot in the hall, he could still see Steve’s sleeping frame, the gentle rise and fall of his chest keeping Jim sane as he rang the Harrington’s number for the third time, cropping up with nothing,

“ Good morning, this is Shanon speaking how may I help you?”

“Hi, this is Chief Hopper, are John or Regina Harrington available? I’m calling in regards to their son Steve-”

“ Oh what did he do now,”

She mumbled on the other end as anger flared in Jim’s veins,

“ I’m so sorry to inform your Cheif Hopper but the Harringtons are currently at a conference. If this has to do with a party bust or anything else he may have done, I do believe John called and made your station aware not to call and to just do as you see fit-”

“The kid didn’t do a damn thing wrong.” 

He snapped, emotions rushing at the accusations being thrown flippantly at Steve, 

“When will they be available to take a call.”

“I see, well they are on a pretty tight schedule so I can take a message for them if you’d like.” 

“Too busy for their son but time can be made for the secretary” 

He quipped, hearing a startled noise on the other end, and barreling on before she could defend herself, 

“Listen, Sharon was it? I don’t really give a damn. When they can make a dent in their oh-so-busy lives to take my message, let them know their only child has a brain tumor. They’re going to be doing a biopsy to determine if it’s cancerous or not, so if they’d like to show up for once in their pathetic lives to be here for their kid, now would be a nice time to do that.”

The other end of the phone was silent besides the scratching of a pen, all the anger bleeding out into pain as he realized he finally made the first call, said it out loud for the first time, and in a way, made the whole experience real instead of some messed up nightmare he could shake himself out of.

“ Alright Chief Hopper, I’ve written it down and I’ll make sure to relay this as soon as I can. Send my regards to Steven, tell him I’m hoping for the best outcome for him too.”

Jim sighed, scrubbing his face again as the weariness set in, 

“I will. Thank you for your help.”

He hung up without a second thought, his body choosing now as a good time to remind himself that he hadn’t had coffee at all as a headache started to set in. 

“Hey, Hop?” 

A hand tapped his shoulder, sending him jumping backward, alarms blaring in his head that there was a threat as he suddenly felt like he was ankle deep in snow, his fingers frostbitten and his hair shaved far too close-

“Hop, it’s just Jonathan! I’m sorry it’s not- there’s no threat.”

Jim blinked the cold seeping out of his bones as he released a breath, instantly feeling worse than before as Jonathan backed away, panic deep in his eyes,

“I- are you ok?”

Jim took a breath, pinching his nose as he gave the boy a jerky nod, 

“Give me a second.”

Jonathan nodded, shuffling on his feet as guilt pooled in his gut, 

“I’m- I’ll go wait for you in Steve’s room.”

Jim nodded, hearing the shuffling feet as he continued to try and reign in his panic.

He felt awful for scaring Jonathan that way, the teen was already skittish around him enough due to his distrust of men. He knew Jon wouldn’t hold anything against him, and that was probably one of the reasons he felt so bad about it. 

He took one more steading breath before shaking off the leftover tingling nerves and squared his shoulders as he went back into the room.

Steve was still out cold, his tear tracks not as evident as they were before, one hand tucked under his head and the other holding his arm. Jonathan was standing against the wall watching him intently, his hazel eyes flickering back and forth as he took in every detail.

He knew he wasn’t going to be breaking much news to Joyce’s oldest, he was far too observant to not catch the signs that something was wrong, 

“I got you a coffee. Figured you probably haven’t had any today.”

Jonathan didn’t move from his spot, eyes still firmly planted on his friend as a frown formed on his lips. Sometimes, Jim hated how observant Jonathan was, a product of surviving his childhood in an abusive home. 

“Thanks, Jon.”

Jonathan nodded in acknowledgment, frown now paired with a pinched brow, 

“It’s bad, isn’t it.”

The statement was phrased like a question but Jim knew he didn’t have to confirm it to the quiet boy. 

“It’s not good.”

He took the coffee that sat on the corner of the table, taking a long swig and relishing the bitter liquid that slid down his throat. Jonathan sighed, pushing off the wall and bending into a half crouch by the bed, his hand twitching to do something but not making a move. 

“He liked when Joyce brushed a hand through his hair.”

Jonathan finally looked at him, his eyes slightly wider as he assessed the information before slowly raising a hand and running it through Steve’s bed-mangled hair.

Steve shifted, a small sniff coming out of him as his hold on his arm relaxed slightly. Jonathan smiled, continuing to pet Steve’s head as he looked around the room, eyes moving lighting fast as he mapped out every exit and hiding spot.

Old habits died hard, and with his age, Jim was almost sure Jonathan would never stop mapping out the rooms he walked into.

“Wasn’t sure how long he was going to stay, so I brought some stuff for him.” 

Jim hadn’t seen the bag on the chair until now, raising a brow as he went over and picked the bag, nodding with a small gruff. Jonathan quirked a grin, there and gone in a flash, 

“El and Will were asking about him this morning.”

Jim smiled, loving how empathetic their youngest two are as he put the bag on the foot of the bed,

“Hop, before anyone else gets here. I- is he ok?”

Jim could read the fear rolling off of the teen, as he took another swig of coffee.

Jonathan was the protector. He was Will’s shield when they were growing up, took the punches, and absorbed the worst so that Will never had to, he had grown up too fast and didn’t show vulnerability to anyone other than his family. 

“I don’t want to be weak in front of the others. I need to be prepared to step in. I have to know so I can prepare myself”

all the unspoken pleas were clear as day to the cop as he took a breath,

“It’s not looking, good kid. He’s got-”

He couldn’t do this, he didn’t feel like he could say it again out loud, making it a fact over and over,

“Is it cancer?”

Jonathan stopped his hand, biting the inside of his cheek as Jim felt his chest constrict, 

“We’re not sure yet kid.”

Jonathan pursed his lips, harshly exhaling from his nose as he directed his sight to the side of the room, picking back up on petting Steve’s head.

A range of emotions flew through him in under a minute, rage, sorrow, and fear all filtering through him before he took another breath and exhaled softer, looking back at Steve with a soft expression standing up from his bent position to lean on the railing, letting his head fall to his shoulder as he watched him sleep, 

“I always wondered what having a twin might feel like, you know, kind of like El and Will.” 

Jim raised a brow at the change of topic, watching as Jonathan’s expression softened even further, 

“And sure he was an ass in high school but so was I. we’ve made our peace about that time, buried the hatched, and moved on.”

It clicked, and Jim felt his heart warm at the simple acceptance of the situation. Jonathan was practical, he didn’t wallow in pity or loathing, he moved forward, pressed on, and pushed until he made it to the other side. 

This was his form of moving forward, he was taking the situation by the reigns and showing fate who was boss. 

Jim had never felt such a swell of pride for their oldest than he did at that moment, a little bit of the weight threatening to drown him lifting, 

“He’s going to hate being a roommate”

Jonathan scoffed, rolling his eyes good-naturedly, 

“Well, there’s always the spare room if he really doesn’t want to bunk with me.”

They could hear Eddie and Robin long before they made their entrance, the sound of both of them asking rapid-fire questions as Joyce tried to keep up coming down the hall and disrupting the quiet Jim and Jonathan had been cocooned in. 

Jonathan was up in an instant, closing the book he had been reading and making a swift silent exit from the room, closing the door with a click.

Jim could see him from the window, trying to calm the two down, pointing back in the room and saying something had had both Eddie and Robin halting in their hand gestures immediately.

Two more questions were asked, Jonathan shaking his head and then saying something as an answer before he turned and opened the door, letting Joyce in first, Robin and Eddie following behind her, and Jonathan taking the rear. Joyce carefully walked over to Steve, brushing his hair out of his eyes and bringing the blanket up closer before looking at Hopper, her brow pinched. Eddie and Robin both made a move to join her at the bedside only to be snatched from behind by Jonathan, softly telling them both to wait, 

“Should we wake him up?”

He wasn’t going to want to tell them, Jim knew that much. If it were up to Steve, he would become a hermit and hide away from the group and try to fix it himself.

But they were here to prevent that. When he told him he’d take care of it, he meant just that, 

“Nah, let him sleep. He’s exhausted. We’ll explain it later.” 

Joyce frowned softly, looking back down at Steve before nodding, 

“I’ve heard it’s said it’s better to ask forgiveness than for permission.”

Jim chuckled, a distant memory of Steve using that as his excuse for taking all the kids out at midnight to go raid the store for ice cream. It didn’t get him very far, and after a lecture from him about responsibility and Joyce chiding him for not leaving a note, he caught him watching the kids with a grin as they ate ice cream from the cartons and watched goonies, acting like kids their age should.

Joyce smiled, the same memory obviously playing in her mind as they both turned to face the three older kids watching, Jonathan with a cautious neutral expression and Eddie and Robin’s clouded with panic, 

“Is he ok? Did he stroke out or something? Does this have to do with his bat bites? Because I told him he needed to get checked for rabies and he didn’t but oh my god Eddie does that mean you’re next? What if it’s-”

“Buckley, take a breath. And go sit down, you too Munson.” 

The two looked at each other skeptically, before complying and taking the seat that Jim had been occupying, Robin on the actual seat and Eddie on the arm as Jonathan walked over and leaned against the other arm, eyes set and expression trained.

Jim took a breath, not wanting to repeat it for the third time but knowing he’d also have to do it again once the kids came around. 

“It's not rabies, but it’s also not good news.” 

Robin sat forward slightly, Eddie tensing up as they both waited for him to spill it,

“They found a brain tumor. Don’t know if it’s cancerous yet or not, but it’s not looking promising.”

The color drained out of Robin’s face as she fell backward into the seat, Eddie going rigid as he stared at Jim as if he had just him the worst news of his life-

Well, it wasn’t too far-fetched to believe it was,

Jonathan exhaled the breath he was holding harshly, rubbing Robin’s shoulder as tears spilled from her eyes. Joyce came to stand by Jim, reaching out and taking both Eddie and Robin’s hands as she tried to get their attention,

“I know this is a lot, you guys are probably in shock and that’s completely normal. I want you to know me and Jim are going to be here for you too, ok?”

Robin gasped slightly, her breath getting caught in her throat as she tried to nod, Eddie biting his lip and willing the tears to stay back as he squeezed her hand in response, 

“But he’s not- it doesn’t mean he’ll die right? It could just be not cancerous or something right?”

Jim’s never seen the Munson boy this wreaked, not even when he was going through a grueling recovery of his own did he look this hopeless, but in some way he understood.

It would be so much easier to carry these burdens as his own instead of watching the people he loved suffer. 

“They don’t know yet honey, but we’re going to do everything we can to fight this. He’s not going to die on our watch, not if we can do something about it.”

Joyce Byers was a force to be reckoned with, a pillar of strength in the worst of times, and someone who made good on her promises. He loved her more than words could truly describe, and he felt like he needed her to survive most days. 

“Now listen, you three are the first to be told. We’re going to talk to the kids later today, explain the same thing to them, but I want you guys to understand this-”

He took a breath, counted to five, and exhaled, 

“If this goes the way I think it is headed, this is not going to be an easy journey. The fight is just as hard for the family involved as it is for the fighter sometimes, and Steve’s support system is small but we’ve fought worse than sickness. So while I don’t doubt that you all are going to stick this one through, I need you to understand, fully understand that what you’re signing up for-”

“I don’t care about the risks. And I don’t give a single damn about what it might cost me, physically or emotionally. I’m in.”

“Same with me, you’ll have to pry my cold dead body away from him before I ever thought of leaving my best friend. I don’t care what it takes or what I- what emotional or physical pain I have, he’s my other half, I wouldn’t dream of letting him go this without me.”

Joyce smiled softly, squeezing both of their hands again with a nod before looking up at her oldest to gauge his response. Jonathan’s features softened as he looked over at the bed, a small mist building in his eyes, 

“Whatever it takes, I wouldn’t abandon my brother.”

Joyce beamed at him, her own eyes pooling with tears as she let go of Robin and Eddie’s hands and pulled Jonathan down for a hug, releasing him and doing the same for both Robin and Eddie.

“Uh, Chief? You look kinda tired, do you want to go home and freshen up?”

Jim looked back at Eddie with a quirked eyebrow. The Munson boy looked like he was still holding back tears but was forcing a calm demeanor to ease the discomfort in the room,

“Yeah Hop, we can stick around here, we don’t have anything else going on and We were going to wait until the kids got here anyways,”

Robin added smiling softly as she wiped her teary eyes. They were trying, holding up to the vow they had just both swore not even a minute prior, trying to show they were a part of this, and they were going to take the load.

“You can go, Hop, Mom is going to get the kids so you guys can go home and get a shower and take a nap. We’re good here.” 

Joyce smiled softly at the three of them, patting Jonathan’s cheek as she looked at Jim, 

“I think it’s a good idea dear, they’ll be fine here for some time.” 

Jim felt his chest pinching as he nodded gruffly collecting his paperwork as Joyce grabbed her bags, 

“If he wakes up, let him know I’m coming back. Also, he’s been having these uh-”

“They’re seizures, they don’t look like it, but they are,”

Joyce explained, t he kids all wore various degrees of emotions before nodding in understanding,

“Right, so don’t be alarmed or anything if he goes from talking to you guys or something and he just zones out. It’ll take him a while to respond again afterward, so give him some space, and don’t bombard him with questions. Also Jon? Mark it down on the whiteboard behind you if anything happens.” 

Jonathan nodded once before grinning, 

“Go on, we’re good here. Besides if you get out now, you may be able to squeeze a little one-on-one in,”

Joyce smacked his arm, tsking at him as the three chuckled under their breath, Jim smiling at the joke and shaking his head, gently taking Joyce by the arm, 

“Get your head out of the gutter Jon, we’re too old to move that quick for a one-on-one,” 

Joyce rounded on Jim, smacking him like she did Jonathan as the three burst into soft laughter, the air finally feeling lighter as he stepped out with Joyce. 

“They’ll be fine for a while Jim, it may even do him some good to see his friends for a while,”

Jim nodded, placing a kiss on her head as they walked down the hall.

Chapter Text

Steve woke to a familiar weight thrown over his shoulders, the warmth spreading in his limbs and washing him with a sense of safety. He blinked twice, refusing to move in fear that he’d wake Robin up as he tried to assess his surroundings, a familiar pinch in the top of his hand causing him to wince slightly. 

Steve looked down at his hand that was resting in front of his face, tracing a thin needle poking out of his vein with confusion before everything rushed back at him in full force, the tears building up against his will. He tried to blink them away, willing himself to stay as still as possible when he realized there was a weight on his feet too, tracking his blurry sight down further he almost laughed at the sight of Eddie sprawled out on his legs like an overgrown cat, snoring softly with a book on his face. 

There was some form of shuffling, and Steve blinked again and someone was standing in front of him, slowly bending so they were face to face, Jonathan’s brow pinched in a way that looked freakishly like Joyce as he tried to smile, 

“Hey,”

He half whispered, eyes going back and forth between Steve’s eyes. Steve sighed, his emotions frayed and raw as he tried to smile back, 

“Hi.”

He replied, softer than Jonathan but just above a whisper enough that he was heard. He felt Robin shift against his back and Eddie let off a soft snort noise getting a soft chuckle out of both Steve and Jonathan, 

“They’ve been out for the last ten minutes, don’t see them waking up anytime soon.”

Steve snorted, knowing the sleeping patterns of his closest friends better than some of his childhood memories, 

“They both sleep like the dead,”

He replied, Jonathan, quirking a smile in agreement. There was something else in Jonathan’s eyes, something distant and sad. He looked like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should-

“You know, don’t you.”

Jonathan sighed, his grin replaced with a tiny frown as he reached out and brushed Steve’s bang back, Steve failing to repress the sigh of contentment as he felt the touch breeze through his locks, 

“Hop and Mom told us, said something about how it was easier to ask forgiveness rather than permission?”

Steve wanted to laugh, a memory bursting to his forefront of the one and only time he tried to use that one on both of them. He settled on a cheeky grin, Jonathan snorting in amusement as he crossed his arms and leaned on the railing of the bed, resting his head on his arms, 

“Wanna talk about it?”

Jonathan wasn’t one to offer a chat, they were closer now, and in many ways, Steve saw Jonathan as a brother he never got to have, an equal in a way Dustin or the rest of the boys didn’t really fit. He knew his quirks and what he liked and disliked better than most, knew how to make him laugh and what to do when he wanted to cry. Jonathan offering to talk meant he was putting himself in a vulnerable situation and willingly sitting through whatever the other needed. 

“I don’t know.”

Jonathan nodded in understanding, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes, 

“I don’t know if I would either. They did a lot of talking, I just kind of listened.”

Steve did laugh this time, soft and airy, knowing his two best friends had a tendency to ramble, 

“Sorry if they talked your ear off, being partially deaf has its benefits.”

Jonathan snorted, his eyes glistening with amusement, 

“Nah they just talked themselves to sleep so I’m not complaining, besides, they were placing bets on who would see you up first.”

“Looks like we have a winner,”

Jonathan shook his head, rolling his eyes as he smirked, 

“I didn’t play, I knew they’d both be out before you did.”

Steve hummed, a weird feeling washing over him as he looked at Jonathan, the other also looking at Steve with a look of confusion, 

“You good Steve?”

Steve’s brow pinched, his eyes getting hazy as he stared past Jonathan. His body tensed slightly, as his eyes fluttered. 

Oh, so this was the impaired awareness thing.

Jonathan gently moved Robin’s arm to the side, as he took Steve’s shoulder and angled him slightly back into Robin’s chest, slipping a hand under his head as he watched him closely, eyes flicking up to the little clock on the bedside table as he timed the event, slightly thankful Robin and Eddie weren’t aware while he witnessed the first of probably many more to come.

He needed to be able to assess the situation, and see what it looked like right before so he knew what to do before it happened, how to time it, and how to help as best he could during it. one minute and ten seconds later Steve’s body relaxed, blinking slowly as he came back to awareness, 

“You’re good man, take your time.”

Steve hummed again, trying to say something but unable to get the words out, 

“Give it a minute yeah? Let your mind reboot and then you can tell me. I’ll just hang out here until you think you’re more there.”

Steve hummed again, the confusion settling slightly in his face as Jonathan talked to him about his plans for the upcoming weekend and Robin and Eddie’s argument on whether or not rabies was an indirect cause of most illnesses until he tapped Jonathan’s wrist, signaling he was mostly back. Jonathan nodded, slowly releasing his hold before writing down the time and how long it lasted on the whiteboard. 

“Hate that,”

Jonathan snorted, leaning on the rail again and resuming his position from before, 

“Yeah, I can imagine it’s not fun. Does it hurt?”

“Not really, I just feel stuck and everything gets fuzzy. After I can’t think or say anything, think this has been happening for a while,”

Jonathan tsked softly, brushing Steve’s bang again with a frown,

“I’m sorry for not noticing sooner Steve,”

Steve shrugged, a lopsided smile on his face,

“I didn’t either, so that makes two of us.”

Jonathan smirked eyes flickering up as Robin shifted again sitting up with her hair sticking up funny, 

“Jon? Is Steve awake? Steve? Are you awake? Dingus?”

Steve giggled softly, feeling Robin snatch him from behind and hug him tightly, the shuffling on the bed enough to rouse Eddie, the metalhead sitting up with a start, the book falling off his face as he blinked owlishly before grinning, 

“Hey there sleeping beauty, glad you decided to join the land of the living,”

He teased, Steve tsking and rolling his eyes at the Jab and giggling again when Robin ribbed him with her foot, Jonathan taking in the scene with an unimpressed look that Steve knew meant he was trying to act like he didn’t care when he did, 

“Please Munson, you’re acting like you didn’t skip on off to dreamland yourself there for a while, and don’t push it, Buckley, you were the first on the train to the sleepy station.”

Steve did laugh this time, only laughing harder at Robin and Eddie squawking in retaliation, before feeling the building pressure in his head growing into a headache again, agitation pricking under his skin, 

“Damnit”

“You good Steve?”

He groaned in frustration burying his head in his hands as he tried to fight the pain off, not noticing how Eddie and Robin got quiet. 

Eddie clambered off the bed, toeing his shoes one as he went out to ask a nurse for meds while Robin softly took Steve by his waist and pulled him up, snuggling him into her side as she rested her head on top of his, rubbing his back, in an instant he felt the tears coming back full force, the overwhelming feeling of being held coupled with the pain in his head and the uneasy feeling that was threatening to swallow him whole rendering him helpless to the onslaught of tears that spilled into Robin’s band tee as she softly shushed him whispering assurances while Jonathan sat on the side of the bed, resting a hand on his lap, 

“Nurse Ratched out there said Stevie’s gonna have to wait another hour before he can take anything else, sorry big boy, they don’t have great bedside manors.” he let off a wet laugh, not yet willing to open his eyes. 

He felt naked in front of the crowd, his well-built persona had long crumbled in front of the three but he still tried to maintain a semblance of being in control but he felt like he had lost all forms of control,

They all knew. It was easier now that he didn’t have to say anything, he wasn’t even sure how he was going to bring it up, knowing he’d rather just run as far away from saying anything as he could.

As usual, Hop was right, stepping in and saying something so he didn’t fumble the ball and mess up the delivery, speaking of the man-

“Hop?”

“Said he’ll be back in a few, went to go shower and change his clothes.”

Jonathan informed softly, Steve nodding into Robin’s chest as he let out a breath, 

“Chief took Joyce with him, I guess they probably were looking to conserve water or something-”

“EEw Eddie Gross!”

“Eddie I swear to god-”

“Eds!”

Eddie cackled evilly as Jonathan shoved him backward into the bed, the older making a dramatic ooF as he fell. 

“Hey! Don’t act like you didn’t make a lewd joke yourself Byers!”

Jonathan smirked, flicking Eddie’s forehead, 

“They’re my parents dumbass, I’m allowed to do that,”

Eddie grinned again, folding his arms over his stomach,

“Good luck on fighting Steve for parental rights with Hop, the dude’s practically adopted Stevie here already so I think you only have a say with Joyce.”

Steve squawked, his cheeks burning red as he kicked Eddie, relishing the squawk the older made. He had always seen Hop as a father figure, someone he had wished he was lucky enough to get in another life, and he wasn’t a fan of being read like a book by the one and only resident ex-drug dealer. Jonathan chuckled, tugging on Eddie’s bang softly, 

“Or we can share both, you nitwit. I wouldn’t be opposed to having another brother, don’t think Will and El would either” 

“Really?”

He hadn’t meant for it to come out, but most things were either staying trapped in his head or coming out without his consent lately. 

Jonathan simply nodded a tiny smile peeking out on the corner of his mouth,

“We were going to try and adopt you into the family anyway,”

Steve smiled softly at him before looking at his lap and running a hand through his hair,

“I don’t know Jon, it would have been a burden before, and now it-”

“Was never a burden to start with and now isn’t going to change that.”

Steve let out a shaky sigh, gently tugging at the ends of his hair to try and control the emotions trying to pull him under,

“It’s too much,”

He whispered, hating how the mood shifted just as quickly as his emotions have been lately. Jonathan pulled the railing down and got on the bed, gently took Steve’s hands out of his hair, and pulled him into a hug, tucking his head under his chin as he rubbed his back, breathing slow and steady like he would when Will was having a panic attack or El had a nightmare.

“I know it feels like it right now.”

Robin slid off the bed and got a glass of water, setting it beside Jonathan as Eddie clambered off the bed and started searching the bag Jonathan had brought earlier,

Steve sighed in Jonathan’s embrace, a strange tingling settling over him suddenly as he felt nauseous, a strange sensation pulling on him as he tapped Jonathan’s lap twice, Jonathan hummed in response but words weren’t coming to him again and everything was trapped behind his throat. 

Steve made a high-pitched whine, tapping Jonathan again as he pulled away from holding Steve with a pinched brow, 

“What’s up?”

He didn’t answer, instead, he looked like he was fighting the urge to vomit and stay awake at the same time, and realization settled on the oldest Byers,

“Steve, you need to just let it happen, yeah? I don’t know what’s going to happen if you try to hold it off, but I'm pretty sure you'll feel better if you just let it run its course.”

Eddie and Robin looked at each other before looking at Jonathan with confusion, the latter nodding towards the board on the wall for an explanation as they both came to the same realization. 

“It’s alright, I’ll be here through it, ok? The others are right there too,”

Jonathan rubbed his back, allowing him to rest his head on his shoulder as he looked up at their other two friends, 

“One of you two time it, the other sit there and rub his leg,”

Robin sat down on the edge of the bed, eyes intent on her best friend as she rubbed his leg, Eddie rounding the bed and getting the marker.

Steve relaxed and then tensed up, his gaze going blank and eyes fluttering, his jaw clicking slightly as Jonathan rubbed his head, humming softly,

“You’re doing good Steve, just try to relax and ride it out,”

Robin encouraged, her own eyes brimming with sympathy tears, Eddie’s attention flitting between Steve and the clock,

“Absolutely Sweetheart, you’re doing great, just let it go,” 

It was two minutes and thirty-nine seconds before Steve’s body went slack against Jonathan’s side, 

“Good job man, just breathe, in and out”

Steve hummed softly in response, blinking off the exhaustion with a sigh,

“Sucks”

Eddie chuckled, writing on the board before hanging on the railing behind Jonathan,

“Looks like it does, wanna do something to take your mind off it?”

“Eddie we’re in a hospital, you can just start smoking pot,”

Eddie gasped in retaliation at Robin’s quip, dramatically grasping his imaginary pearls, Robin laughing at the antics as Jonathan huffed a laugh, Steve smiling softly in amusement, 

“Why miss Buckley, you take me for a common pothead, don’t you? Nah I wasn’t talking about weed, I actually found a deck of cards in Johnny boy's travel bag there, anyone wanna play?”

Chapter Text

Jim readjusted his cap as he walked past the nurse station, nodding at them as he rounded the corner going to the little room of his destination, stopping at the slightly cracked open door at the sound of laughter. He cracked it open slightly more, peeking in to see what the four had gotten up to while he and Joyce were out.

Jonathan was sitting on the arm of the chair next to the bed, legs dangling over the side and holding his cards on his lap as he watched the squabbling on the bed with a bemused smirk, throwing a quip in once or twice to stoke the fuel. Eddie was laying on his back holding his set of cards in the air and he bickered with Robin about the move she had made, Robin sitting with her legs crossed on the side of the bed arguing that it was a fair move, her own cards spread out in front of her on the sheets. Steve was sitting propped up on the bed, eyebrow quirked and a lopsided grin on his face as he watched the argument unfold, holding his cars in his lap, laughing every now and again at the outlandish comments. 

Jim felt a rush of happiness flood his system, happy he had decided to cue the holders in first and allow the kid to have a minute of happiness in the otherwise overwhelming day, he didn’t realize how much he missed Steve's warm laugh until he heard it again, knowing he’d do anything to get him to laugh like that again, just like he would with El or Sarah.

He decided to let them in on his presence, knocking on the door as he opened it, all four kids looking up at him from their spots,

“Am I interrupting something?”

Jonathan and Steve both snorted in amusement as Eddie sat up quickly, his cards fluttering,

“No no actually you’ve blown into town at just the right hour oh dearest Cheif, riddle me this, can you rightfully take three turns in go fish or is that cheating??”

Robin rolled her eyes, whacking Eddie’s shoulder,

“It’s not cheating if I’m winning and you’re a sore loser Munson!”

Jonathan reached over and whacked them both in the back of the head, the two making a noise of retaliation before launching their insults at him, the quiet kid just chuckling as he put his hands up in defeat,

“Looks like you got a shower”

Jim looked back at Steve, the boy giving him a slightly cheeky look as he looked him up and down,

“Did Joyce go with you or?”

“You cheeky brat,”

He crossed the room and ruffled the teen's hair, relishing the sound of soft laughter as he glanced up at the whiteboard, quickly reading the information written down before looking at Jonathan whose smile faltered as he nodded in confirmation. Jim cleared his throat, leaning against the wall as the group of teens collected the loose cards to pack up the game, 

“The kids are stopping by after school, Joyce is picking them up.”

The unsaid common knowledge hung in the room as Jim rubbed the back of his neck, not quite looking at any of them before answering, 

“I’ll talk to them. Well, me and Joyce, if you want me to. I don’t want to step on your toes-”

“Do you mind? I mean, I can talk to them but I just, it’s going to get so-”

Steve bit the inside of his cheek, looking at Jim’s shoes as his brow pinched, 

“Kid, I don’t mind. Do you want to be there?”

Steve inhaled, nodding as he carefully looked up at the Cheif, 

“I can do it.”

Jim nodded, a quick smile as he rubbed Steve's head again, 

“Sure thing kid, hey you three, have you had lunch yet?”

Jonathan shook his head, picking up on what Hopper was trying to imply as he put the cards back into the bag, 

“You two want to go get burgers?”

“Well now that you mentioned it,”

Eddie mumbled, Robin on the verge of protesting before her stomach replied for her, getting a laugh out of the boys, 

“Go on Rob, I’ll still be here when you guys are done.”

She snorted, bending over and hugging him tightly as he buried his nose into her shoulder, returning the hug, 

“You better be, we’re having a sleepover as soon as your out, you hear me, Harrington?”

Steve chuckled, releasing her from his hold, 

“Loud and clear Buckley, now get,”

He made a shooing motion, the girl squawking as Jonathan took her by the wrist pulling her out, Eddie hot on their heels, 

“Hey I want to join the sleepover, can I come to the sleepover- Buckley? Buckley answer me,”

Their voices carried down the hall, Robin’s maniacal laugh as Eddie continued to try and get her attention, Jonathan telling them to shut up and remember where they were.

“Got a noisy group of friends there,”

Steve snorted, watching the door long after they left with a tiny smile, 

“Yeah but they’re the best friends I’ve ever had,”

Jim smiled, taking up residence in the chair as he pulled out the paper and started to read it, 

“Damn it,”

Steve whispered, sighing in frustration as he kicked the blanket off and slid off the bed, grumbling as he stumbled into the bathroom, closing the door with a click. Jim looked up, listening for a minute before going back to his paper, getting through a sentence before he heard retching, instantly on his feet and knocking on the door, 

“Kid? Can I come in?”

“ I’m fi-” 

Steve cut himself off with another gag, and Jim decided to forgo privacy and open the door. Steve was crouched over the toilet, vomiting what little he had ingested as he gripped the sides of the toilet hard enough that his knuckles were whitening, Jim took two strides into the room and swiped his bang back, rubbing his back with the other hand, trying to ignore the heat radiating off of him, 

“You’re good kid, I got you.”

Jim tried to block out the sounds, waiting until Steve sat back, resting his head on the edge of the toilet with a groan, Jim stood to get him a cup of water to rinse out his mouth, watching him take a breath before rinsing his mouth and sitting with his back to the wall, 

“Wanna minute?”

Steve nodded, closing his eyes as a shiver ran through him, 

“Sorry,”

He mumbled, rubbing his arm idly as Jim huffed, 

“None of that, there’s nothing for you to apologize about. You been feeling sick to your stomach at all?”

Steve hummed, cracking open an eye, 

“For a few weeks yeah, been puking more too,”

Jim wanted to punch himself for not noticing it sooner, not picking up that Steve wasn’t doing well when he had the chance to catch it early, 

“Stop looking at me like that.”

The teen griped, Jim, snapping out of his train of thoughts and quirking an eyebrow, 

“Like what?”

“Like you need to take a shit and you can’t.”

He replied with a crack of a smile, Jim leveling him with an unimpressed face,

“Seriously, if I wanted you to know I was feeling sick I would have told you. Didn’t think it was a big deal so I didn’t say anything. So stop thinking you could have changed it or something,”

The kids didn’t give him enough credit for how smart he really was. Where he lacked in book smarts, Steve was proficient in people reading. Jim sighed, scrubbing his face with a hand, 

“I didn’t- I should have checked still. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Steve shrugged, letting his half-lidded eyes scan the room, 

“Figured it was like a long-lasting stomach bug or something, didn’t throw up all the time so I didn’t think it was a problem.”

Jim sighed, stepping closer and putting out a hand, Steve inhaling before he took the outstretched hand and let Jim help pull him to his feet, his knees almost buckling before he caught himself, holding onto the IV pole as he closed his eyes and willed the dizzy spell away, Jim holding his hand and letting him reorient himself before leading him back to the bed, letting him clamber back on it and pull the blankets back up, 

“Hear anything from my parents?”

Jim sucked in a breath, part of him had hoped he wouldn’t ask, but Steve was more aware than he had been in the earlier morning so it was to be expected that he’d eventually ask. 

Steve sighed softly, playing with the hem of the blanket, a carefully blank expression on his face,

“It’s ok Hop. I didn’t expect them to answer, hope you told Shanon I said hi though.”

Jim wasn’t sure if he was more hurt or angry on his behalf, the fact that he was so controlled about the whole thing was baffling, Steve didn’t even seem surprised by their negligence. Almost like he had expected it from the start.

Steve yawned, sighing in frustration as he bit his lip, 

“Why the hell am I so tired,”

He grumbled to himself, squirming in the bed as he started picking through the bag, pulling out a book, a small smile twitching as he sat back with it,

“What’s that?”

Steve looked back up, watching as Jim made his way back to the chair, getting comfortable as he smiled, looking back at the book, 

“It's, uh. It’s a novel. Started reading it recently, wanted to kinda see how far I could get.”

Jim hummed, waiting for him to continue, 

“It’s a Stephen King book, Pet Semitarty? Heard it was good so I thought “What the hell,” and decided to give it a try. Beats watching the breakfast club for the hundredth time in Family Video so yeah, reading. Jonathan or Robin must have remembered it,”

Jim chuckled, picking the paper back up and opening it, 

“Nice Kid, sounds interesting.”

Steve smiled, settling back and starting to read again, lasting a whole three minutes before he fell asleep again, book rested on his chest.

The door semi swung open thirty minutes later, seven kids barreling in all talking at once as Joyce followed trying to get them to quiet down, 

“Hey! Shut up all of you!”

Jim whisper-shouted at them, the kids all instantly falling silent in shock. 

“I’m sorry Jim, they’ve been high-strung since I picked them up,”

Hopper sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as the kids shuffled slightly in embarrassment,

“Good god, you all look like you just watched someone run over a cat,”

The kids’ heads shot up, Dustin and Max pushing each other out of the way to get to Steve first while Will and El took the other side of the bed by storm, Mike Lucas, and Erica trying to contain their excitement by half walk running to the bed, 

“STEVE! What the hell Dude?!?!”

“You scared the shit out of us Steve-”

“I’m glad you are ok Steve,”

“Are you ok Steve?”

“What the hell happened Steve-”

“Yeah what happened Steve-”

“SHUT UP NERDS-”

It was official, out of all the brats, Erica Sinclair was Jim’s favorite. Everyone silenced, Lucas, grumbling something under his breath as Mike sent her a seething glare, Erica glaring just as hard at him before turning back to Steve,

“Do you see what I’ve had to put up with in your absence, Sailor boy?”

Steve chuckled, patting the bed for them to scramble onto, all of them with the exception of Mike jumping the chance, Max and Dustin scrambling up to sit on the right side while Will and El took the left, the Sinclairs taking the foot of the bed. Mike waited until everyone had sat before he plopped himself down next to Will, making a hand motion at Steve, 

“Well? What happened? Will said you kind of went haywire-”

“Really, Michael? I didn’t say that Steve I said you blacked out after staring off into space-”

“Will, that is textbook haywire-”

“Is it, Michael? Because you’re going to have to point me in the direction of that bit of knowledge from Websters when we get home-”

Jim now had two favorite brats from El’s pack of idiots.

“Guys, chill, please, I don’t think I can handle an argument right now.” 

That shut them both up immediately, Will softly apologizing as Mike huffed, looking at the wall with a tint of embarrassment, Lucas shook his head, before turning back to Steve, 

“So what did happen?” 

Steve sighed, picking at the blanket as he looked at his lap, avoiding eye contact with any of the kids.

“So I uh, I really don’t know how to say this.”

He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. Dustin’s brow pinched, looking at Max with a frown, the redhead giving a similar look as Erica and Lucas both glancing at each other as Mike crossed his arms watching Steve with a cautious glare, El and Will both pinching their brows in confusion, Dustin cautiously breaking the silence, 

“Steve? Is everything ok?”

Steve looked up at him, tears springing to his eyes as he looked back down, pinching the side of his wrist,

“No,” 

He whispered, suddenly overwhelmed with the task of telling the kids. It wasn’t even confirmed completely yet and he still felt like he was drowning by just admitting anything was wrong,

“I got it, kid,”

Jim squeezed his shoulder, gearing up for repeating the news for the fourth time in one day, the bone-weary feeling sinking deeper, 

“The doctor said they found a tumor in his brain, he’s gonna have to get it checked to see if it’s cancerous or not.”

He stated, knowing it was better to be said like ripping a band-aid off rather than candy-coating things with these kids.

Dustin looked devastated, a flash of fury in Max’s blue eyes before she followed suit with Dustin’s reaction, Will inhaled sharply, whipping his head back around to Steve while Mike swore under his breath glaring at the covers, Lucas swearing as well as he looked at the wall, Erica watching Steve with a thin-lipped expression, her eyes stormy. El frowned, reaching out and touching Steve’s head softly, waiting for his gaze to reach hers, his eyes glassy with unused tears that she mirrored, 

“Are you in pain?”

Steve bit his lip, not wanting to look any weaker than he already felt as he ducked his head again and swore under his breath,

“God I hate this. I can’t-”

Frustration rippled through him as the fear and pain raced against it, everything mingling and putting him on edge. Dustin took a breath before wrapping his arms around Steve’s shoulders, Max following suit and hugging his waist as El and Will joined the pile, Lucas and Erica joining in from the back as Mike angrily wiped his eyes and squeezed in between El and Will, 

“Nothings, like official yet though right? It could be harmless can’t it?”

Joyce sighed softly, standing next to Jim and placing a hand on his arm, 

“Not cancerous yes, but brain tumors are rarely harmless.” 

Mike huffed again letting his face fall into El and Will’s shoulders, 

“This is such bullshit.”

Steve let off a wet laugh, his hand popping out of the kid pile as he ruffled Mike’s hair, 

“Well said, Wheeler.”

The kids broke off the hug one by one, the Sinclairs both keeping a neutral face as Mike scoffed and jumped off the bed, grumbling about something in his bag while Will and El slowly let go, El whispering something to Steve that got a crack of a smile, Max and Dustin hanging on a little longer while Steve soaked up their warmth, pressing a kiss to Max’s forehead and ruffling Dustin’s curls, letting them settle next to him as they asked questions about the diagnosing process, what he’d been up to, and filled him in on their day at school. Steve listened to the rambling, wincing every once and a while when the sound picked up in the room. Joyce filled them in on some of the symptoms, Steve being worn out from the emotional talk and happy to let her take the reigns, opting to run his hand through Max’s hair before he stopped mid-stroke, his hand idling above her head, and causing her to look up at him,

“Steve?”

Steve mumbled something, eyes flickering to Jim with a small panicked light in them, 

“Shit, you good kid?” 

Steve watched him his hand falling limp on Max’s shoulder, another sound of frustration stuck in his throat,

“Max, Dustin, move off for a minute,”

Jim ushered them both off quickly, ignoring their protest as he took Steve’s shoulder and gently pushed him down on his side, 

“It’s alright Kid, just take a breath,”

Steve made a soft noise again, his body tensing and untensing as he tried to fight it off in vain, 

“Kid they’re going to see it at some point, I promise it’s going to be fine alright, stop fighting it and just try to breathe and relax. You’re fine,”

He could hear the kids asking questions behind him, Joyce explaining the focal seizures to the best of her ability as Steve’s body tensed, finally giving up and letting it run its course, Jim holding him by his shoulder with on hand and placing the other on the side of his neck, 

“That’s it kid, good. You’re doing fine.”

It lasted two minutes and ten seconds before his body went lax, a sharp, shaky exhale coming off of him as he whimpered, leaning into the feeling of Jim’s hand as he rubbed his thumb on his throat, 

“You did good kid. Take a minute and reboot, they’re fine, Joyce’s got it covered.” 

Steve hummed softly, words still stuck behind his brain as he watched the room behind Jim, his eyes flickering to each kid with different levels of worry,

“Sorry”

“Don’t apologize, kid, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

He hummed again as his eyes got heavy, 

“You take some time alright? I’m gonna take the kids to get something. Joyce’ll hang out with you.” 

Joyce materialized beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder as she nodded for him to go, sitting on the side of the bed and running a hand down Steve’s arm,

“You all, walk with me. You can get something at the vending machine and call your parents.” 

The kids went without much of a fuss, Max and Dustin lingering for a minute longer as both of them wanting to stay before turning and walking out behind the rest of the group, Jim holding up the rear as he closed the door softly, 

“You can ask whatever it is you wanted to in there-”

“Was it painful?”

“Not really, he’s just tired afterward,”

“Why did he do that-”

“It’s a seizure El, it’s because of the tumor.”

“Does he do that a lot?”

“Not sure, we’ve just started to pick up on them recently,”

“Is that what he was doing whenever he’d space out?”

“.....it could be, thanks for that Sinclair, I’ll let the doctor know.”

“Can they fix it?”

Well wasn’t that the million dollar question, 

“Have to remove the tumor first-”

“Why haven’t they-”

“You can’t just go in and pop it out Wheeler, they need to check if it’s cancerous first so they know if-”

He cut himself off, taking a breath as he looked away from the group,

“It’s complicated,”

They all went quiet, Jim sighing as he walked ahead of them, 

“Come on, we’ll call your parents in the waiting room. You guys can go ahead and get something from the machines too, I’ll give you quarters.”

After a round of calls and an argument over the last bag of skittles, the kids were back on their way to Steve’s room, a plan laid out for forgoing the arcade and going to the library to read everything they could on the situation at hand. Once back in the room Dustin and Max made a beeline for the bed, both taking up either side of Steve and squeezing in next to the half-sleeping teen while Erica joined them on the foot of the bed at a slower pace, Lucas and Mike still bickering about the skittles as they took the chair in the far corner and Will and El took the chair next to the bed, smoothing out the plans for talking Hopper and Joyce into convincing Steve to stay with them once he got out. 

Joyce walked up to him, rubbing his arm with a tired smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes, 

“Doctor stopped in again, they have a biopsy set up.” 

Jim felt his eyebrow raise as he pulled her into a side hug, 

“When’s the date?”

“This Friday in the afternoon.” 

He nodded, planting a kiss on her head as he watched the kids squabble and laugh, Dustin nudging Steve once or twice to get a half-worded response out of him so he didn’t feel left out of the conversation,

“Good. I’ll let Flo know I need off.”

Chapter Text

Steve was discharged the following morning, and after Will and El laid out their “plan” to Steve after the rest of the kids went home that night, Joyce gave him another tight hug, brushing his bang out of his eyes and telling him she was looking forward to seeing him come home, Steve had agreed to at least stop at their house for dinner. 

It took one phone call to change that decision,

Jim had walked out to pull the truck around, coming back up and trying to think up a way to convince Steve to stay for longer when he heard talking coming from his room. 

Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing the black sweatpants and blue sweater Jonathan dropped off the night before when he went to get the kids, his shoes sitting on the bed next to him as he stared at his feet, tears glistening in his eyes and holding the phone with a death grip,

“I know you’re busy, I wasn’t trying to-”

“No, I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry sir……”

“You can’t make it? I am just-”

“I’m not whining, I’m just scared-”

“.....I understand. I’m sorry for interrupting your conference. Bye”

Steve hung up, heaving a breath before throwing one of his shoes at the wall, pulling his legs up, and crying softly into his knees with gasping breaths.

Jim had always known he was prone to anger, but what he felt coursing through him went beyond mad. A seething rage filled him to his core, his own body quaking at the sheer effort to control himself, Jim pushed it aside, taking a breath and blinking away the red from the edges of his vision as he walked into the room, bent down and picked up the shoe, and sat on the bed next to Steve,

“Kid-”

“Why don’t they love me?”

Jim felt like someone had reached in and tore his heart out, the anger and sadness spilling over as he wrapped Steve into a hug, rubbing the back of his head as he felt his shirt get hot and wet,

“I don’t know kid. I’m so sorry they’re assholes.”

He could feel Steve’s arms wrap around his back, his hands taking up handfuls of his shirt as he let a small soft sob go, 

“I- I’ve tried everything. I tried so hard to get good grades but I couldn’t because I was too stupid and I tried to get a good job but it’s not enough because I’m too lazy to find a ‘real’ job, and the only thing I was ever good at was sports but I- and now I’m just wasting their money because of tests and I-”

Jim saw red again, his hold on Steve becoming slightly tighter as he placed a small kiss on the crown of his head before resting his chin on it,

“You’re coming home with us. I’m not taking no for an answer, if they can’t afford to be parents then don’t worry about being their son.”

Steve whined into his shirt, taking another shuddering breath, 

“I can’t do that. I’d be a-”

“You aren’t a burden kid, contrary to popular belief, we want you there. We’ve wanted you to stay with us for a long time now, I’ve wanted you to stay since ‘85 but I was too much a coward to get close. But I’m not doing that again, I know you need people to lay it out for you, tell you exactly what they’re trying to say and that doesn’t make you stupid kid, it makes people who say that massive assholes, so I’ll lay it out for you. Come home with us, we already have somewhere for you to stay, the kids have been talking about what they’re going to do with you already, Jonathan is trying to see if you’ll room with him, and Joyce has been thinking up a way to legally kidnap you if you don’t go along with it willingly.”

Steve sniffed, his grip on Jim’s shirt loosening slightly,

“I don’t know-”

“And I do know. We want you kid,”

Steve sighed again, slowly pulling himself backward and looking directly at Jim’s chest, 

“This might end up bad,”

God, he hated how willing Steve was to go it alone so others weren’t uncomfortable, 

“I know. So do they.”

Steve sniffed again, wiping his eyes as he tried to meet Jim’s eyes,

“Jonathan snores. And I should probably go get my clothes from the house”

A weight lifted off his chest as he laughed, ruffling his hair playfully, 

“Sure thing kid, I’ll let you tell Jon he’s finally too loud for someone.”

Steve didn’t take a lot from his house, he packed a duffle full of his clothes and took a small shoebox as well, tossing it in the backseat of Jim’s truck and not saying a word on the way to the Hopper-Byers house. 

The kids took the truck by storm, El and Will both fighting to get Steve’s attention the minute he stepped out of the truck, Jim stifling a laugh as he grabbed the duffle bag and let the kids pull him in, talking his ear off the entire way there. Joyce met them at the door, instantly pulling Steve into a hug and whispering something to him that made him chuckle softly before letting his head fall on her shoulder, Joyce’s eyes sparkling when she took a look at the bag in Jim’s arms, 

“Go ahead and take the spare room dear, Will can you show him where it is?”

“Mom, I think Steve knows where the room is,”

Will teased, taking the bag and nodding for Steve to follow, El taking his hand and explaining the book they were assigned for literature in school.

“He decided to stay?”

Jim gruffed, nodding as he went into the kitchen to get a glass of water, 

“Called his parents, they couldn’t afford to come home for Friday and made it pretty clear they didn’t care.”

Joyce went through a range of emotions, landing on a soft frown and a determined eye,

“Then he stays here.”

Jim loved the wonder that was Joyce Byers.

“I’ll have dinner ready at five, you should probably go to the station and check in,”

Jim laughed, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her head, 

“Yes, I’m sure there’s been an uprising in loss of garden gnomes since I’ve been absent again,”

Joyce laughed, slapping his chest playfully,

“Well, Munson thought it would be funny to paint on the garden gnomes of the people that have been harassing him.” 

Jim barked a laugh, knowing full and well that if he had done it, he wouldn’t be putting a stop to it.

Jim decided that fifteen minutes into going back to the station he greatly disliked Margret Shelby and her need to call in every single damn thing.

He had a fair amount of work to catch up on from the past two days and in a way, it helped the day go by quicker. 

Explaining to Powell and Callaghan, why he was absent, was…. Irritating to say the least, 

Apparently, this damned town still heard Steve’s name and linked it to trouble regardless of the fact that he hadn’t had a party since ‘83 and was rarely seen anywhere but with the kids nowadays. He didn’t feel like explaining it past Steve was in the hospital and leaving it there, not wanting to air the kids' business without his knowing.

Four rolled around and after doing a patrol Jim went home, kicking off the access snow and dirt on his boots at the door. It was warm inside, the sound of El and Will talking about some campaign in the living room and Jonathan’s music coming from his room mixed with the smell of the soup Joyce was making for dinner and the soft chatter from the kitchen instantly putting him in a state of peace. 

After kicking off his boots and hanging his coat he sauntered into the kitchen to catch the bare end of Joyce and Steve’s conversation,

“I don’t think it’s going to be that bad, I mean Rob and Eddie will be there at some point in the day so if anything happens they’d be there,

“If you feel like it dear, I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to hold you back."

“I don’t feel like you are, I’m just….. Adjusting? I don’t really know,”

“I know honey, you’re doing a great job keeping a level head through it all.”

“Thanks…. So about Friday,”

Jim rounded the corner, ruffling his hair and going around the island to kiss Joyce, Steve making a gagging noise as they did,

“Ew gross, get a room old man no one wants to see you being all horny”

Joyce chuckled as Jim swatted in his direction, the teen laughing as he put his hands up in surrender, 

“And don’t worry about Friday brat, I’m taking you.”

“Oh, but you have work-”

“Already called off. Joyce, you coming?”

“Jim how is that a question, I’ll make sure El and Will are ready for school early and Jon can drop them off.”

Steve dipped his head, a small bashful smile spreading on his lips, 

“You guys don’t have to,”

Jim sighed, leaning on the island and waiting for Steve to meet his eyes again,

“We want to,”

Steve looked at both of them before sighing dramatically and hopping off the stool, 

“Well don’t hold me accountable for the stupid shit I say when hopped up.”

Chapter Text

Friday came quicker than any of them wanted it to. 

Steve was a mess, irritated one minute and the next he was profusely apologizing on the brink of tears, actually crying the time he snapped at Will for dropping something and scaring him, Will was quick to assure him he wasn’t offended but it did nothing to help Steve from feeling like the biggest ass for getting angry with the gentle-spirited boy.

The seizures had also become more regular, he was having close to ten a day, leaving him wiped out and frustrated by the end of the day, his body restless enough that he couldn’t do anything besides nap for two-hour intervals. 

Somehow, he managed to get through two days of work before calling Joyce sobbing that he couldn’t figure out why someone was yelling at him and that he needed help.

Joyce came into the store like a bat out of hell, reaming the customer up and down before storming into the back and scooping Steve into her protective hold, hugging him and whispering to him until he calmed down enough for her to take him home, it had been the one day that there was an hour in between Robin and Eddie’s shift and both felt horrible for what happened, Eddie nearly going to track the customer down and Robin barely even holding him back, only doing so because his innocence was still not highly regarded by the town and an actual murder wouldn’t do his record any good.

Steve hadn’t left his room for the remainder of that day, only leaving once to go puke in the bathroom before closing himself in again. 

Nausea and vomiting had also become a bit of a hurdle, while he was able to eat some, a good deal of it ended up resurfacing at some point in the day, leaving him shaky and slightly lethargic by the time Friday did actually come. 

Needless to say, by the time they pulled up to the hospital for the biopsy, Steve looked like he was on the verge of throwing up, even though he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast the day before. 

“Kid? You need a minute?” 

Steve took a shaky breath, shaking his head before popping open the backseat door and clambering out, Joyce and Hopper right behind him.

After checking in and being taken back to his room, Joyce stepped out to grab something, Jim giving him a minute to switch into the hospital gown before coming back into the room and stuffing his clothes into a travel bag, watching as Steve anxiously tapped on his knees on the side of the bed, feet dangling as he watched the wall, 

“You want to put your socks on kid?”

Steve didn’t answer, his feet kicking slightly as he stared ahead, lost in thought. Jim sighed softly, picking up the socks and walking over to the boy, going to kneel down in front of him, taking one of his swinging feet to put the sock on, catching the teen off guard enough that he shouted, his whole body flinching. Jim immediately let his ankle go, hands up in surrender,

“Hey, Steve it’s just me. It’s Hop. I’m sorry kid I didn’t mean to scare you,”

Steve blinked his whole body wracking a shiver before he untensed, shame burning in his cheeks,

“I- I’m so sorry I don’t- I don’t know why I did that, I didn’t mean to scream at you I’m so sorry-”

“Hey hey hey Steve! Stop spiraling kid I’m not angry.” 

Steve huffed, his eyes glistening, as he crossed his arms and looked back at the wall. Jim carefully took his ankle again, slipping on the sock before moving to the second foot,

“I wish you would just get mad at me already,”

He mumbled softly a stormy look in his eyes as Jim finished with the other sock and stood up, offering him a hand to scoot back into the bed, 

“Why’s that? Do you think I should be angry with you?”

Steve didn't meet his eyes, looking down with a thin-lipped expression. Jim knew why, he knew why Steve flipped out and cried for nearly an hour that morning when he snapped at Will, why he shut himself away after the incident at Family Video, and why he was so sure that Jim was eventually going to snap at him or walk out. 

He hated that he knew, hated that there was even a reason for that to be the case, but he knew,

“Kid, look at me, you know I’m not going to walk out right?”

Steve didn’t answer, but he did try to look up at Jim quickly before looking back down, a very slight shrug rolling off his shoulders,

“Did you know that you can be mad? About everything going on that is.” 

Steve looked at him in confusion,

“No really, I think you’ve been bottling it up for a while, but if I were in your shoes, with all these questions and no answers and my life flipped on my head at nineteen for the fifth time, I’d be livid. Most people would be. But here’s the thing kid,”

He sat on the edge of the bed, staring deep into Steve’s eyes, Steve staring back with the same intensity, 

“You can be mad, at the situation, at your parents, at me, you can get angry and swear and slam a door and say things that you don’t really mean but feel like is the right thing to say at the moment because it’s how you feel, and I still won’t leave you.”

Steve stared at Hopper in awe, tears building in his eyes as he looked the Cheif up and down as if trying to assess if he was lying or not, 

“Why?”

He whispered, disbelief mixed with the tiniest bit of hope in his voice, Jim reached over and rubbed his knee, his brow set and his shoulders squared, 

“Because it’s a normal reaction to this kind of a situation. Because you are a kid, who’s been through world-ending life-altering shit four times in a row and you didn’t deserve it, and now you’ve got this too and you don’t deserve this either. Because I care about you, and nothing you do is going to change that. Just like nothing, Jane will ever do will make me turn on her. So you can say every hard thing that comes to mind, curse me up and down, blame me for whatever it is, get mad whenever I tried to stop you from doing something or hold you back, heck kid, you could probably shoot me point blank and I’d still care about you.”

Steve blinked at him, tears spilling as his expression morphed from awe to admiration and a hint of sadness, his hand clenching and unclenching, 

“No one’s ever…. No one’s cared about me like that before.”

Jim huffed, leaning over further and ruffling his hair, 

“Good thing I do then isn’t it, you brat.”

Steve laughed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand a small bobbled of his head in agreement and it felt like a weight had been lifted now that Steve believed him. He knew it wouldn’t change over one conversation, there were going to need to be plenty more of them and a shit ton of reminders and encouragement but it was a start, and he was damn glad they are at least there.

Joyce knocked on the door, peaking in with a shy smile, 

“Is everyone dressed in here?”

Steve snorted, Jim, laughing as he stood up watching Joyce buzz into the room, a big smile on her face as she hid something behind her back, 

“I got you something, for when you get out,”

Steve quirked an eyebrow, trying to look over her shoulder with a curious smile, Joyce giggled before brandishing a large soft Chesnut teddy bear with a sailor hat, Steve’s face lit up as he laughed, a genuine smile appearing for the first time in a week and Jim and Joyce felt like the world was alright for the first time in a while. Joyce held the bear out to him, Steve accepting it and carefully fixing the hat and looking at the bear like it was the most precious thing ever gifted to him, 

“So, whatcha gonna name him hon?”

He giggled softly, tilting the bear as he regarded it before answering with a serious tone, 

“Marty. His whole name is Marty Mc’bear though, like Marty McFly? Me and Rob saw back to the future in Starcort right before well actually right after the whole, yeah so Marty.”

Joyce chuckled, sitting on the side of the bed and brushing his bang back, 

“It’s a lovely name dear, a great meaning to it too I’m sure.”

Steve smiled softly, his eyes flickering up at hers before looking back at the bear with a small frown, 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

He huffed a laugh, stroking the bear’s fur with his thumb, 

“It’s stupid really, but they’re going to like, shave a small spot on my head right? And I guess, well it’s going to look off now and I’m like, well my hair is my best trait so if it looks funny then it’s like I’m-”

“Uh uh, I’m going to stop you right there. Your hair is beautiful dear, some of the most beautiful hair I have ever seen, I won’t lie about that, but it is not who you are. You are so much more than your looks. And I promise it’s only going to be a small patch, no one is going to really be able to see it with how long the rest of your hair is but I don’t want you to be believing that nonsense that you’re nothing without your looks. Understand?”

Steve looked back up at her, his cheeks flushed as he nodded, a small smile on the corner of his mouth, 

“I’m getting all sorts of parental talks today.”

Both Jim and Joyce laughed, Joyce, reaching over and patting his cheek, 

“It’s because we love you, dear.”

He blinked at her, shock and hope mingling in his eyes at her comment, and before he could ask her anything there was another knock at the door, 

“Steven? We’re ready for you now.”

Panic rippled through his eyes as he nodded, Joyce sliding off the bed and taking the bear, placing a soft kiss on his temple, 

“Me, Jim, and Marty will be waiting for you when you get out dear, ok? Nothing to be worried about.”

He looked up at her with a thin-lipped nod before looking at Jim for confirmation, the Cheif smiling and nodding along with her as he ruffled his hair, 

“Nothing to worry about kid, it’s an easy surgery so you’ll be in and out.”

“Ok. I trust you,”

He half whispered as he tried to smile, letting the nurse put in the IV before unlocking the bed and moving it out of the room. 

Jim felt Joyce squeeze his arm in reassurance as he watched them leave, his breath caught in his throat. 

The wait has begun.

By the time it had passed an hour and fifteen minutes Jim had paced the waiting room fourteen times, stopping to ask if there was any update almost every twenty minutes. 

He was on edge, every horrible possibility running through his head from a brain bleed to Steve waking up mid-operation, and nothing seemed to put him at ease. Joyce hadn’t moved from her seat, anxiously stroking the bear or scratching her arm, desperately in need of a cigarette but unwilling to step out before they got results. She had called Jonathan as soon as they got to the waiting room, and he had let her know he tried getting ahold of Nancy again but wasn’t able to, and that he’d be trying again later in the day.

“Jim, come sit down with me-”

“Joyce what if something happened, it’s been over an hour now and I thought they said this was a standard operation, they also said it wouldn’t be more than an hour-”

“Jim. they said it could be a little over an hour but not longer than two, we still have another- forty minutes until it reaches over two hours so come sit with me. Pacing isn’t going to make the time move any faster but it will mess up your ankle,”

He groaned, hating that she was right as he leaned against the wall looking down at her. She looked tired, there was stress in her taunt expression that hadn’t been there since Will went missing in ‘83, but she was trying to smile at him as she reached out and rubbed his arm, 

“I’m sure he’s ok honey, no news is often good news.”

He smiled at her, a small part of him calming at her touch just like he always did with Joyce. 

“Family for Harrington?”

Joyce shot out of her seat at the same time that he pushed himself off the wall, both standing taunt as the doctor nodded to them, 

“Steve’s in recovery now, the biopsy went well and it will be a little bit of time before the anesthetic wears off, if you’ll follow me I’ll lead you to his room,”

Both parents let out a sigh of relief, Jim nodding as Joyce whispered thanks and followed the doctor down the hall leading to the small room with Steve’s name on the sign, 

“Just call a nurse when he wakes up, otherwise we’ll keep him overnight for observation and if all is well he can go home tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you so much, doctor,”

“My pleasure, your boy is a sweet kid, I hope all goes well with the results,”

Jim teased slightly, clearing his throat,

“About them, when can we expect to hear back from you?”

“Well, we’ll be sending the sample down to a neuropathologist to make a diagnosis and determine the tumor type and grade. Results take five to seven days to come back in so it should be within a week.”

He nodded, every fiber of his being hating how long the week was going to feel,

“Thanks, Doc.”

“Of course, I wish you all the best.”

The doctor smiled, nodding to them both before walking back down the hall, leaving the two at the door. 

Joyce wasted no time gently pushing it open and walking in, Jim waiting for a minute to collect himself before joining her and closing the door behind him.

Steve was still asleep, his hair pushed to the side and slightly strayed with the bandage that was securing the area on his head from the procedure, otherwise, he looked unscathed, peacefully sleeping off the rest of the drug as Joyce plopped the bear down next to him and placed a kiss to his forehead, whispering something to him as Jim came closer, both stood quiet as they took in the sight of the sleeping boy, Jim’s nerves finally easing off now that he was in sight. They were by no means out of the woods, the worst was still waiting for them on the horizon, but with this done and out of the way, it made it a little easier to breathe for now.

Chapter Text

Steve woke up around three hours post-op and was beyond confused. 

He watched Joyce like a hawk as she talked softly to him, blushing as she praised him and whispered random sweet nothings to him, before he made the realization that Marty was by his side, the bear being his sole focus after it came to his attention. Jim thought it was hilarious in a sweet way, how soft he was this high on medicine, even though he had to keep gently leading his hand away from prying at the bandaging. 

“Feels funny,”

“I know it does kid but you can’t touch it ok?”

Steve hummed, eyes still glued to the bear he was fiddling with in his lap as he nodded in understanding. 

“You think aliens exist?”

Joyce suppressed a laugh as Jim chuckled softly, patting his lap, 

“I don’t know, you tell me, kid.”

Steve yawned, shrugging half-heartedly before locking eyes with Jim, his pupils slightly bigger than normal,

“But you know everything?”

Jim did laugh this time, his heart swelling at Steve’s bashful smile,

“What on earth makes you think I know everything kid?”

“Because Dad’s know everything, that’s why”

He huffed in slight frustration at Jim’s inability to understand what to him made perfect sense.

Jim’s world slowed to a halt at the simple declaration, a deep emotional tug pulling at his heart as he huffed a laugh, blinking back the tears as he bopped Steve’s nose playfully, the teen made an indignant noise that went against the smile on his face, 

“Well excuse your old man for not knowing if aliens are real,” 

“Well if you say so”

Even loopy Steve was still a brat, Jim found it endearing that he was comfortable enough to show the side of him that wasn’t the perfected mask he had worn for years around the public with their family, even if he’d never admit it out loud, 

“Yeah I do, brat, now drink some water will you? You don’t drink enough on a good day to start with,”

“Ok Daad, jeez”

Joyce tsked, playfully telling him to stop being sassy as she helped him with a cup of water, smiling up at Jim after giving him the straw,

“You gonna be ok?”

He sighed, the comfortable weight still resting on him as he nodded, 

“Better than that I think.”

The night went smoothly and the little trio was on their way out the following morning, Steve slightly groggy and in pain but otherwise on his feet enough to insist he could walk the short distance from the entrance to the car, already grumpy about having to use the wheelchair to leave the room, Marty never leaving his arms as he made the transfer from the room to the car, situating in the backseat and resting his non-stiched side of his head on the window, relishing the cold feeling on his skin.

Joyce picked up his meds from the pharmacy before they made the drive home, leaving them the short drive back in relative peace, Jim and Joyce discussing what they planned on doing for dinner while Steve contently listened to the soft rambling, only adding his opinion when asked. 

For a while, they could forget about the looming test results and the possible outcomes and simply enjoy each other’s presence, almost like they were simply on the way home from an average day event.

The house was still quiet when they got home, the kids being at school and Jonathan taking up an extra shift at the store. After getting settled back in Steve promptly knocked out in bed, Marty still tight in his grasp, mumbling thanks to them both and urging them to go to work while they could, assuring them he’d be sleeping until the kids or Jonathan returned home anyway. 

After fussing over him a bit more Joyce took her leave to go to her office to work, giving Jim a peck on the cheek and shooing him out the door to go to the station.

They all needed a distraction for the upcoming week, and for Jim, work was where he let himself get lost.

Joyce was good at finding distractions, between being a mom and her job there was already enough for her to be distracted by, and after sleeping off the last of the drugs, Steve’s distraction could be found in the kids and his friends, Jim didn’t really have friends, the only people he put time into were his family so he didn’t really have a social distraction and he outright refused to even think about drinking now, the fear of old habits sneaking up on him. 

So he worked, he took the stupid cases and patroled the otherwise sleepy town. He listened to Callaghan's nonsense chattering, answered all the odd questions that Powell had, and entertained Flo’s questioning and random stories. Anything that gave him something to think about he listened to. 

And it worked out well.

They had a ‘family’ dinner the following Thursday night, Joyce’s meatloaf being the meal choice of the night and the butt of the kids' jokes when they got a call. The table went quiet, everyone looking up at the phone as Joyce got up to answer, 

“Byers home, Joyce speaking…… yes can I take a message for him?...... I’m sorry?...... I see….. Yes, we’ll be there at 10. Thank you, goodbye.”

Joyce hung the phone up, biting her lip as she sat back down a the table, taking her fork and pushing some potatoes around on her plate, 

“That was Dr. Burns calling about the results.”

The room filled with tension so thick it could be cut in two before she looked at both Steve and then Jim, 

“She wants us to come in tomorrow to talk about them, in person.”

Steve whispered something before excusing himself and briskly walking to the bathroom, Robin moving to follow him before Jonathan gently held her back by her elbow, whispering to her to give him a minute.

Jim held Joyce’s stare, holding a silent conversation with her as they both let the horrible feeling sink in, knowing if it was good news they would have said so over the phone.

It had been a sleepless night for the entire group, the kids had ended up having a sleepover, all of them piling in the living room to have a Star Wars marathon while Joyce and Jim talked softly to each other through the night, Joyce snuggled into his side in their bed as they tried to stanch the growing sense of dread. 

No one said a word on the way to the hospital the next morning, the three too far gone in their heads to hold a conversation as they made the short walk from the parking lot to the entrance.

Joyce talked to the front desk, while Steve hung back, picking at his soft green sweater while Jim rubbed his back his fingers twitching to pull out a cigarette. 

“I can’t do this,”

Steve whispered, his eyes trained on the ground a small tremor running up him, Jim moved to stand in front of him, lifting his chin to meet his eyes,

“Hey there, you listen to me kid. Yes, you can. We don’t know what they’re going to say, and it’s scary as all hell, but you can do this. Whatever the outcome is, I know you can, you are made of something stronger than most, definitely stronger than me, so I don’t want to hear you doubting yourself alright?”

Steve took a breath, standing slightly straighter as he nodded at Jim, still biting his lip as the fear kept its hold on his eyes, 

“Ok. I can do this.”

“Yeah, you can,”

Steve flashed a tiny smile before running a careful hand through the side of his hair that wasn’t stitched up, 

“For the record, I think you’re one of the strongest people I know,”

Jim felt his heart swell with emotion as he gave Steve a quick hug, 

“Thanks, kid.”

Joyce joined them shortly after, all three of them sitting in the stiff chairs in the waiting room, Steve’s leg bouncing as he watched the clock while Jim tapped his foot and Joyce drummed her fingers on her thigh, anxiety rolling off them in waves, 

“Steve Harrington?”

Steve made an abandoned noise in the back of his throat as Jim and Joyce stood, Joyce, offering him a hand as he stood, his face pinched in a neutral expression, as Dr. Burns smiled softly at them, waving for them to follow her back into a small exam room, gesturing Steve to sit on the table and Joyce and Jim to take the seats, before sitting on the office stool,

“So I’m not going to draw this out for you guys, I can see you are all on edge, and I’m truly sorry to inform you that the news isn’t good.”

Steve pinched his wrist as Joyce bit her lip and Jim braced for the sentence he had been dreading since the beginning,

“I’m sorry Steve, you have stage three Astrocytoma.”

Chapter Text

The revelation sucked all the air out of the room.

While Dr. Burns had been kind about it and gave them time in between to process everything it still felt like an impossible task. Steve felt like he couldn’t breathe, blood rushing in his ears as voices carried on around him. 

He felt like he was going to be sick, bile threatening to spring up his throat at any given moment as his head pounded in pain, almost mocking him as he bit back the tears begging to spill. He had been so wrapped up at the moment that he completely neglected the aura of an oncoming seizure in favor of trying to stop the tears from falling, noticing a minute too late as the foreboding feeling grasped him, 

“Dad help,”

He mumbled, unsure why he had just called Hop dad but knowing that he was desperate for him at the moment, panic flooded his system.

Jim's head snapped up at the soft request, understanding clicking in just in time as he sprung out of the chair and crossed the distance, letting Steve fall forward onto his chest as he heaved out panicked breaths, his hands shaky as they grasped handfuls of Jim’s flannel, Jim rubbing the back of his head comfortingly, 

“Breathe kid, you’re all right. I’ve got you”

Steve shook his head, fighting another breath out, 

“It’s too much-”

“I know kid, I know. You need to breathe though, it’s not going to get any easier if you don’t just trust me alright, in, hold it for a second, and let it out, good, you’re doing good. Just let it run its course, ok?”

Steve whimpered into his chest, losing control as he gave in and let the seizure take over, Jim hushing him as he continued to stroke his head and assure him, letting out a breath the minute he felt Steve relax into his hold, 

“Good job Champ, just rest for a second ok? We got nowhere to be so take your time.”

It was another minute before Steve’s mind rebooted, for the most part, his finger drawing lazy shapes in Jim’s arm as he breathed a sigh, 

“s’rry”

“What for Kid?”

“Call’d yu’ Dad”

Jim held him a little closer, cautiously planting a kiss on his head, 

“Don’t apologize for that, I like it.”

Steve hummed in response his grasp loosening from the shirt with the one hand that was still death gripping the cloth, as Dr. Burns picked up again,

“Those happening more often?” 

Joyce nodded, her eyes not leaving the two as she spoke, 

“Close to ten or so times a day now, he’s also not able to really keep much down and is having some memory and personality challenges.”

Dr. Burns hummed along as she wrote down on her pad, 

“So here’s what we need to do moving forward, we can remove a majority of the tumor, but with the nature of these tumors and where it is, it is simply too risky to go in and remove the entire thing without causing brain injury, swelling or even setting off a stroke.”

Joyce sucked in a breath, Jim biting his tongue as he continued to rub Steve’s back, 

“So what, removed a chunk and then do treatment?”

Dr. Burns nodded with a small smile, 

“Exactly that, we’ll do the surgery first to minimize the amount of treatment needed, and because it is best for him to be in the best physical shape for recovery, and after he’s mostly recovered from the operation we’ll start Chemotherapy and Radiation, and move from there.”

Joyce nodded in understanding, fiddling with her hands, 

“So when can we have the operation done?”

“The sooner the better. I will get you guys all set up as soon as we’re done here, how’s he holding up over there Jim?”

Steve nodded into Jim’s shoulder, sending a shaky thumbs up in response and getting a chuckle out of the Cheif, 

“Looks like we're back,”

Dr. Burns chuckled softly as she stood, Joyce, standing with her as she walked over and stood beside Jim looking Steve in the eye, 

“Everything you’ve just been told and what you’re going to have to go on is going to be extremely overwhelming, I just want you to know that you have an amazing support system from the looks of it, and we are going to do everything in our power to make sure you get to walk out of here cancer free, alright Hon?”

Steve nodded again, his eyes misting up as he tried to reply but the energy had been zapped out of him.

“Don’t sweat it, kid, I know what you’re trying to say. You go home and rest now, we’ll call when we have a date for you guys,”

Jim thanked her, hearing Joyce say something else to her before she left, the small family unit alone to seep in the news before Joyce took a breath and clapped her hands together, 

“Alright boys, here’s what we’re going to do, we’re going to go home, everyone’s going to take a nap, we’re going to have chicken soup, and then we’re going to tackle this beast head-on just like we’ve done with every upside down encounter.”

There weren’t words to describe Jim’s adoration for his wonder named Joyce Byers. 

Steve gave a half-assed salute as Jim nodded in agreement before releasing his hold on the boy, pulling back and looking him in the eye,

“You good to walk?” 

Steve thought about it, before putting a hand out that Jim took with ease, helping him stand as he tested his balance, 

“I can do it.”

There weren’t words to describe how proud he was of his kid Steve.

 Jim held onto his hand as they walked out, allowing him to use him as support as Joyce walked at his other side holding his arm for emotional support, 

“Atta boy,”

The drive home was quiet, a solemn silence filling the air as Jim drove, Joyce next to him writing things down at an insane speed and Steve stared out the window watching the multicolored trees fly past. Jim looked back every few minutes, watching the boy through his rearview mirror with a careful eye, not wanting to overcrowd him but not wanting him to flounder on his own. 

By the time they got home, Steve stumbled into the house mumbling something to Joyce before going into his room, carefully closing the door with a soft click. Joyce watched the door for a minute before taking Jim’s hand and leading him to their bedroom, telling him they both needed to take a rest for at least fifteen minutes so they had the wherewithal to deal with the emotions that would be flying tonight. 

He hadn’t thought he was going to sleep, not with how restless his mind was, but his exhaustion won out and as soon as he hit the pillow he promptly knocked out until he felt Joyce shift next to him, waking up to find they had slept for a solid two hours. Joyce got up and threw her hair up into a messy bun, going into the kitchen to start her soup as the front door swung open, Jonathan came in and kicked off his shoes at the door before all but running into the kitchen, opening his mouth to ask how it went only to be met with a single finger from Joyce, 

“Jon would you please go see if Steve’s still asleep, if he is I need you to run down to the Family Video and let Eddie know you are bringing Robin and him over for dinner tonight.” 

Jonathan closed his mouth, the words stuck halfway through his throat as he deflated, 

“It’s bad, isn’t it.”

The kid was too perceptive for his own good, and both his mother and Hop knew better than to bullshit him, 

“Have you been able to get ahold of Nancy yet?”

He shook his head, looking at the phone, 

“I’ll try again. After I check Steve. Are the kids-”

“They were already coming over to hang out with Will and El tonight.”

Jonathan nodded, crossing the room to place a kiss on his mother’s cheek before slipping out of the room and going to Steve’s room, knocking softly before entering and closing the door with a click.

Jim helped Joyce with the soup, the two working in tandem as they chopped and sauteed, a silence that wasn’t comfortable but also wasn’t overbearing hanging in the room. Both parties trying to think of the best way to break the news. 

Jonathan reemerged shortly after, going to the phone and putting in a number, leaning on the wall as he waited for someone to pick up, sighing and moving to hang up before he stopped in his tracks, 

“Nance?...... Nancy I’ve been trying to contact you for the past week and a half, are you ok?........Oh, yeah that makes sense. Listen, I need to talk to you, it’s about Steve…… no nothing upside down, it’s… Nance, he’s sick, I don’t know how bad it is….. No not like that like…. Nancy, it’s terminal…… I’m sorry, I didn’t want to….. Alright… are you sure? You’ve got another month until break- alright Nancy, We’ll see you then. Bye,”

Jim and Joyce looked at each other briefly before Jonathan came back into the kitchen, hugging his mother and telling her Steve had woken up for a few but went back to sleep before he left, Nancy was on the way home, and now was going back out to talk to Eddie, leaving the two alone in the silence again. 

Steve snuck out of the room a little after Jonathan left, silent but looking like he had slept some, one hand pinching the bridge of his nose as he dug around on the counter for his medicine, taking them dry before walking into the living room and sitting on the couch, a blank expression until Joyce finished the soup and went to Join him on the couch, sitting and pulling him close, resting his head on her shoulder before she pulled out a book to read, Jim decided to go out back to chop wood.

By the time the soup was simmering the front door swung open again, the sound of several voices filling the entrance as the kids flooded into the living room all talking at once before falling silent at Steve’s shell-shocked expression, not even looking up at them or regarding their presence as Joyce continued to brush a hand through his hair, turning the page in her book before looking up at the kids, 

“We’ll talk about it when the others get home, ok? Go put your stuff away and wash up. Dinner will be finished by the time Jon, Eddie, and Robin get home.”

Will bit his tongue giving her a sharp nod and herding the kids all out, almost having to drag Dustin out with him as El took Max by both of her hands and tore her away from the living room.

Jonathan came in shortly after, Eddie and Robin tumbling in behind him and kicking their shoes off quickly before tearing into the living room to find Joyce and Steve still there, Jim just coming in from the back. It took one look from him for Robin and Eddie to fully understand, all the color draining out of their faces as they looked at Joyce for confirmation, Joyce just placing a kiss on Steve’s temple and telling him she needed to serve dinner, Robin sliding into her spot with ease as she pulled him close burying her face in his hair as she whispered to him, tears pricking in his eyes as he sighed softly and turned into her hold, closing his eyes.

Eddie took a breath and tied his hair back following Joyce into the kitchen to help her, desperately needing something to do with his hands as Jonathan went to find the kids for dinner. There were many things that Jim found admirable about the group of teens, younger and older, but one of the biggest was their ability to put on a no-nonsense face and dive straight into whatever need to be done.

Joyce and Eddie had dinner on the table in record time the kids all tumbling into the kitchen and finding a seat as Robin hauled Steve off the couch, plastering herself to his side as they went into the kitchen, sitting together as Joyce brought the last two bowls of soup out, putting them in front of them, patting Robin’s head and then Steve’s cheek gently before sitting down at the other head of the table. 

The table was tense, everyone waiting for someone else to say something as they fiddled with their soup, some testing it out and others simply spinning their spoons in their bowls, Joyce and Jim sharing a look before he cleared his throat, everyone looking at him with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity, 

“So, results came back today and they weren’t….. They weren’t what we were hoping for.” 

All eyes turned to Steve, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he pushed the chunks in his soup around, 

“I got cancer. Stage three, apparently.”

He confirmed softly, a half-shrug added on for good measure as he resolutely kept his head down and refused to meet anyone’s eyes. A mixture of swears and gasps broke out amongst the group, as Steve grimaced, hating the attention on him, all at once everyone started to frantically ask questions, one coming after the other before the first was even answered, Jim groaning as he whistled to get everyone to stop, Steve flinching at the noise and moving to cover his ears stopping shy an inch away from them as his cheeks burned with embarrassment,

“Sorry Kid didn’t mean to catch you off guard, and as for the rest of you, I know this is a lot. You all have questions and we have barely any answers, but we’ll figure this out, ok?”

The kids all looked at him skeptically as the older group shifted in discomfort, Joyce smiled softly, nodding at him in encouragement, 

“I know it’s Steve who’s the one with cancer but we’re in this together, when one’s down the whole group goes down with them. That’s how it works. We’re not meant to go it alone. All of us have been going too many things on our own, we don’t need to do that anymore. We have each other. we’re a family so we’ll work together like a family.”

Steve chanced a glance up at him, a small quirk of a  smile appearing as he regarded him, Jim’s chest feeling like it could burst with emotion. Dustin cleared his throat, eyes trained on Hopper before glancing at Steve again, 

“We’ll need to know everything there is to know about it, so we have the best chance at beating it right?”

Jim nodded, Steve, tilting his head in confusion before Lucas picked up where he stopped,

“So we’ll start researching, just like we always do whenever we’re fighting off an enemy, come up with a strategy and make a plan of attack and take it down.” 

Steve raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, the grin coming back,

“So like fighting the upside down? It’s not necessarily the same thing guys,”

Mike rolled his eyes, pushing his bowl to the side carefully, 

“No shit Steve, we don’t mean like physically, that’s your job. We are the aid, so if there is something to learn about how to reduce symptoms or build up strength then we’ll be the ones looking for it, you know, we’re finding your weapons, but you’re the one fighting the demodog.”

Steve hummed thoughtfully, sitting back with a soft smile as he looked at each kid, opening his mouth to say something before Max cut him off,

“And if you even think about saying we shouldn’t be wasting our time on it I’m pretty sure I’ll take your nailbat to your kneecaps.”

Steve laughed, putting his hands up in surrender as the rest of the party laughed, already shouting off different books to get and making their plan of attack before Eddie clapped his hands to get their attention, 

“Hey! This is great and all but the three of us are out of a job. You guys are the knowledge seekers, so what does that make us?”

Will smiled brightly, patting his hand before looking at Robin and Jonathan, 

“You guys have arguably the most important job, you’re the moral support crew.” 

All three had a look of realization as they all said “ ah ” in unison, Steve barking a laugh as they all looked at him with matching looks of confusion, 

“No no it’s just, you all share a collective brain cell sometimes and I think Nance took it with her to college.”

Jonathan snorted, shoving him softly as Eddie gasped in fake offense and Robin squawked in retaliation, 

“Oh and I suppose you think you have a brain cell to spare Dingus?”

“Me? Oh no, but I do have a tumor if anyone would like free dibs on that, I’m not necessarily looking to keep it.”

There was a beat of silence before the table erupted in laughter, a sense of normality finally easing back into the odd family unit.

“Out of curiosity, what are Mom and Hop in your guy’s opinion.” 

Jonathan asked once everyone had settled down and actually started to eat dinner, Erica rolled her eyes, a smirk toying at her lips, 

“Isn’t it obvious mullet? They’re the parents. That’s the only title they need.”

He supposed it was true, parent was really the only title he saw fit for both him and Joyce and from her easy laugh and Steve's soft smile, it seemed that they agreed.

Chapter Text

The operation was scheduled for the fourth Monday in October, which left them with a week to prepare. 

The kids kept Steve busy, bringing over random books and spreading everything out for him to see their progress, talking him into watching a movie with them or trying to talk him into playing their latest campaign.

At one point, the girls had bullied him into a girls' night, making him do their hair and paint their nails, (he mock complained at first but the moment they settled in he did their hair and nails while gossiping about their school lives, personal feelings and what they thought of the boys) they ended up shifting gears, knowing they couldn’t ask Steve for drives anymore and also knowing how much it bothered him that he was unable to, instead asking Eddie or Jonathan to cart them around.

(he’d constantly tease both boys about having to put up with their demands now, but as soon as they left he’d stand and watch them go from the window, a faraway look in his eyes)

Jonathan, Eddie, and Robin had become an odd trio, to say the least.

Jonathan’s energy was nowhere near theirs, and Eddie and Robin were nearly always bouncing off the walls but he kept up. The three of them had completely reset Steve’s room one morning when he was out with Joyce getting a couple of different outfits he could wear during recovery, setting everything up to be comfortable and moving a chair in that kicked back enough that whichever one of them was staying with him would have somewhere to sleep. 

Joyce and Jim worked overtime to assure they’d have the time needed off during the recovery period, Jim finally coming mostly clean to the Powell and Flo so they knew where to reach him if shit hit the fan while he was out.

Nancy said she’d be home the weekend before the operation, calling Steve and talking to him for nearly an hour one night, leaving him to talk her out of jumping ship and coming home right then.

The week was also chock full of pre-op appointments, leaving Steve restless and cranky after being poked and prodded for hours on end, Jim attending most of them and Joyce the ones he couldn’t. 

By the time Saturday rolled around, the kids started to act squirrely, sneaking around and asking odd questions before Jim sat them down and asked what was going on, El cracking and telling him they were planning a small party for Steve before the surgery, explaining they read it in a book that keeping people’s emotional health in a good area gave them better odds. Jim’s heart warmed as he ruffled her curly hair, telling them he’d help keep Steve busy if they promised to ask Joyce and the older kids for help.

Keeping Steve busy turned out to not be that big of a struggle, apparently, he had also had something of the same idea in mind, wanting to get them all something to have in his absence, and was in the middle of trying to figure out how he was going to go to town without driving himself there. 

Jim took him without a complaint, telling him he needed to go on patrol anyway so he’d take him with him on his rounds before stopping in town for him. Steve had initially refused, telling him he couldn’t join him on patrol but Jim didn’t listen, simply tossing a sweater at him and telling him to get shoes on before walking out to start the truck.

Shopping with Steve turned out to be…… interesting. In a way, he hadn’t expected. 

For all the memory issues he was starting to have, Steve had the kids' favorite things down to the t, knowing exactly what to get for each one.

He got a new set of paints for Will and Erica, a new comic for Dustin, a cassette for Max, a set of collector cards for Lucas, a star wars comic for Mike, and a soft-looking white teddy bear with a soft blue bow for El, (She had been looking at his two mornings ago and he asked if she ever had a doll to which she responded no. he wanted to change that without parting with Marty)

For the older squad, he got a broach for Nancy, The Murder on the Orient Express for Robin, a large spiral leather-bound notebook for Eddie, and a cassette and a soft flannel for Jonathan,  

At one point he had trailed off and gotten a few more things that he refused to show Jim, just telling him he needed them before checking out and caring the brown paper bag close to his chest.

By the time they got home, Steve was fidgety and tired, mumbling that he had to wrap the gifts before the end of the day so he could give them to them tomorrow.

Once in the house, Steve snuck into his room, tripping over his feet slightly as he scrambled to hide away, Jim only barely holding back the chuckle before finding the kids in a similar situation nearly ready to surprise Steve, 

To say Steve was surprised was an understatement. 

He had eventually come back out of his room only to be pulled along by El who made him promise to close his eyes before plopping him down at the table. She placed her hands over his eyes and whispered something to him that made him laugh and pat her wrist. As the boys scrambled to put their lumpy wrapped gifts on the table, several well-wrapped ones were also laid out.

Mike nodded at El, who in turn took her hands off of Steve’s eyes and rounded the table to stand with her friends, all seven shouting “Surprise!”  

Steve sat looking at the gifts stunned, looking up at them and back down at the packages before breaking into a smile, his eyes watering up as he stood up and booked it for his room. 

The kids all looked at each other quizzically, Robin moving to follow him before he came back out with the brown paper bag, handing the personalized gifts to each of them, before going over and handing one to Jim and Joyce, a shy smile on his face as he opened his mouth to explain why the kids tackled him, everyone talking at once as he laughed, swatting them away after hugging them all. 

Dustin all but pulled him back to the table, insisting he open his gifts first after El explained the motive behind the surprise party. 

Lucas and Erica got him several sweaters and some shorts, Will and El got a set of soft fuzzy socks, Mike gave him three hats and a bandana, Dustin gave him a soft yellow blanket, and Max gave him ginger candy, a small pillow filled with rice and lavender that could be heated for comfort, and chapstick.

Eddie, Robin, and Jonathan also got him a collection of music and movies and three books. 

Joyce and Jim’s gift was put away until Monday, something they had decided to give him before he went in again, but all the same, he loved what the group had gotten him tears prickling in his eyes as he thanked them individually, allowing the kids to smother him in hugs and letting Robin smack a huge kiss on his cheek getting a laugh out of him at her dramatics, only for Eddie to one-up her in the dramas as he did the same on both his cheeks, Jonathan backhanding him before ruffling the side of Steve’s head. 

Just as Joyce had the kids clear off the table announcing they’d be having dinner in fifteen minutes the front door swung open and Nancy stormed into the room, scooping Steve into her protective embrace, holding him tightly as her shoulders shook. 

Steve sighed softly, holding her back as he rested his cheek on her shoulder, whispering softly to her as she cried. once Nancy had collected herself slightly, she apologized for the abrupt entrance and ducked off to the restroom to wash up. 

Dinner was loud in a good way, everyone wanting to know how Boston was treating their resident journalist and Nancy wanting the details on everyone’s life since she had dipped. She sat between Steve and Jonathan, a hand resting on top of Jonathan’s hand and the other holding Steve’s under the table as she listened to the retelling of everything that had occurred in the last two weeks. 

Nancy nodded along, asking questions when needed but otherwise compartmentalizing the information before assigning herself to team knowledge seekers, Mike sputtering in frustration at her self-insertion and insisting the party needed a vote, only shutting up when the entire party voted her on, claiming it would help if they had an actual journalist to be helping them with researching. 

The rest of the night was spent in the company, the kids played a one-shot while Steve, Robin, Jonathan, and Nancy all curled up on the couch and gossiped, Joyce and Jim, enjoying it all from a distance. 

The next day was high on nerves, Joyce was practically flying through the house getting together last-minute things as Jim tried to calm her down while also trying to convince himself that everything would be fine. Steve hadn’t said much, he retreated into his room after breakfast, and reality set in as he tried to control the panic threatening to swallow him. 

By the afternoon Will and El had slipped into his room, arms full of their blankets and pillows softly asking him to build a fort with them.

They made a huge fort in the corner of his room, every blanket, pillow, and doll in their rooms added for good measure as Will snuck comic books and juice pouches in, El using her powers to softly close the door and bring Will’s lava lamp, claiming it fits the look. 

By the time Jonathan joined the sibling pile, El’s bear was named Terry and was best friends with Steve’s bear Marty, Will had explained the entire plot of the first fifteen X-Men comics, given Steve another rundown on the finer Detail of D&D and Steve had given in to making a character sheet, painted El’s nails blue, Will’s purple, and his a soft pink and had agreed to pen palling with them while he was in recovery. 

Jonathan wasted no time leaving and coming back with his blankets and pillows, making the pile bigger before joining himself and squabbling with Will about how his addition smelt like weed. 

The house was suspiciously quiet for a Sunday afternoon, and once it came to their attention, Joyce panicked about the kids all missing and Jim searched the house for any sign of them leaving, finding Steve’s door cracked open three inches, a soft glow coming from the room.

Joyce almost cried at the sight of all four of them asleep in the pillow fort, Jonathan and Steve back to back, El snuggled into Steve’s middle her leg stretched out over his thigh and touching Jonathan’s while Will was buried in Jon’s chest, his leg wrapped over El’s and his foot resting on Steve’s side. 

Joyce too several polaroids of the scene before sneaking out, Jim staying to watch it a little longer before pushing the lava lamp a safe distance away and sneaking out as well.

Tomorrow was going to be a long, hard, and frankly terrifying ordeal, but the small memories like this were what was going to pull him through.

Chapter Text

They had to be there at ass crack in the morning, and Jim was already twitchy as it was. 

Steve was even jumpier, hugging Will, El, and Jonathan at the door, whispering something to all three before sprinting to the truck, not wanting to give himself time to think about backing out. 

Jim packed their overnight bags in the back, giving Will and Jonathan a quick hug and kissing El’s head softly, with another hug before leaving himself, Joyce holding each of them tightly and pressing kisses to their cheeks before they took off. 

Steve fidgeted in the backseat, picking softly at his bear’s fur as they drove, Joyce talking easily about the upcoming holidays and what El and Will were planning on doing for Halloween. Jim wasn’t fully paying attention, nodding along and gruffing in response but all he could think about was putting one foot in front of the other until they were there. 

Check-in was smooth, Steve’s awkward charm made the nurses on staff instantly fall in love with him, and some of the older Nurses congratulation him and Joyce on raising such a sweet boy. 

They met with Dr. Burns again and the neurosurgeon, going over the details and marking where they would be going in from.

It took everything in Steve not to cry as he nodded along, already visualizing the patch of hair that was going to be missing from the right side of his head. As soon as the doctors left for him to change, Joyce wrapped him in a tight hug, kissing the side of his head, his cheek, and his temple while softly assuring him everything was going to be ok, Steve buried his face into the crook of her neck and let some of the tears fall, nodding along with her as he held on just as tight.

Joyce stepped out to grab her bag from the truck and Jim went to make a call while he switched from his clothes into the gown, grumbling at his inability to tie the back and relenting and allowing Jim to do it when he got back in, making a snide remark about him being able to see his backside to which Jim poke his side and told him it wasn’t anything to write home about. 

When Joyce came back into the room she put her bag on the spare cot, digging around until she found what she was looking for, brandishing it with a huge smile.

It was a large patchwork quilt, with fourteen squares, each square with their names embroidered into, small fabric patches sewn on that symbolized which family member square it was in, 

“I had been making in since we got home, I was in need of a good craft and kinda just started making a quilt. I think it was fate's way of preparing me, you know,”

Steve stared at the blanket in awe, slowly stretching his hands out to accept it, running a finger down each name and patch, a childlike smile on his face. 

“It’s so beautiful”

He whispered, looking back up at Joyce with a tiny glisten in his eyes,

“Oh thank you, Honey, it’s really not that good. But this way, you’ll always have the whole family present.” 

Steve nodded, Spreading out the blanket across his legs and smiling at how it looked,

“Well I was thinking about getting a bear for each of you but I think I would have run out of space,”

Joyce laughed, Jim, snorting in agreement as he gently ruffled Steve's head, relishing what could be the last time he did that as the nurse knocked, telling them they were ready. 

Joyce folded up the quilt and took Marty, placing them on the cot before crossing the room and giving Steve a final hug, promising him he’d be ok with a kiss on his forehead, before letting him go. 

Jim wrapped him up in his arms, tears prickling in his eyes as he felt Steve’s arms wrap around his middle and he rubbed his face into his chest, sighing softly as Jim stroked his head, planting a kiss on the crown of his head, 

“You are going to be just fine kid. When you get out, we’ll be here for you,”

Steve nodded, releasing his hold on Jim as he laid back in the bed with another nod, 

“I got this.”

Jim snorted as he gently bopped his nose, 

“Hell yeah, you do.”

It is the longest six hours of Jim Hopper’s existence.

His time in a Russian camp lasted shorter than this. 

He’s pretty sure everything has lasted shorter than this.

People have come in and out of the waiting room, families have gone back to see their loved ones and others have joined them in the waiting.

About an hour in Joyce and another Mom got on to talking about their families, the Mom, Joyce had said her name was Ellen, had four girls, and her husband was in surgery for something with his lungs, he didn’t really remember but She and Joy got along so he was happy for the distraction. 

They were half an hour out from the six-hour mark when a couple stormed into the room, and Jim felt his whole body tense, a hot rage washing over him as he stood up and met them halfway, 

“Look’s like you decided to show up”

“I don’t have time for your sarcasm,”

Jim barked a cold laugh his eyes burning with fury, 

“Seems you don’t have much time for anything other than your job and your secretary.” 

Regina recoiled at the comment, John sneering at the Cheif of Police,

“You aren’t needed here anymore Cheif-”

“Absolutely not. I am not walking out and leaving you two assholes to go terrorize that kid right after major surgery-”

“He’s honestly so dramatic, we’ve never Terrorized Steven. We’ve been looking out for him, doing what is best for him, some of us have children to raise into adulthood, not that you could possibly understand that.”

Jim Hopper saw red.

Before he could act the fierce little lady he loved with his entire being stepped in front of him and slapped John Harrington so hard his head snapped back, his neck audibly cracking along with the sound of skin hitting skin, 

“Don’t you dare ever speak to him that way again.”

She threatened in a feral tone, something so terrifying it would send the strongest men running.

“And don’t you ever, ever insinuate what you two pieces of shit did to that sweet boy was parenting in the slightest. The best thing you two ever did with your sorry lives was give this world that boy, and the last thing I’m going to do is let either of you two fuck him up more than you already did. So let me lay something out very very clear for both of you.”

“You can’t lay anything out for us you dirty whore-”

The slap crack across the silent room, Regina now wearing a similar look of shock as her cheek got red. The two stood still, both of them in fear of the tiny woman as she pointed towards the doors leading to the recovery unit, completely ignoring the outburst, 

“Those doctors back there? They know us. They have seen us in and out with Steve for the past three weeks. They know us as his parents. So if you want to put up a fight or challenge either of us to leave, have a nice time trying to win over his doctor, and the entire nursing staff. So if you want to see him, and I mean look at him because I’m not letting you near him, you are going to play by this dirty poor whores rules. Do I make myself clear John and Regina?” 

Jim watched her in awe, his heart squeezing with emotion as his veins were filled with rage at how these two-bit bastards have disrespected her and his boy.

Regina nodded once, John growling as he stared hard at Joyce, the furious woman raising her hand as a challenge, staring him head-on, 

“I said do I make myself clear, Jonn.”

“Crystal.” 

He snarled, taking his wife by the arm and sitting on the far end of the room.

Jim took Joyce by the elbow, gently leading her back to sit with him as they both let the adrenaline run out of them, both breathing hard as they tried to reign it in, 

“I’m going to marry you one day Joyce Byers.”

Joyce chuckled, leaning into his arm as she sighed,

“At least buy me dinner first you big sap.”

Jim chuckled as he buried his nose in her hair, breathing her in as he felt his blood pressure return to normal,

“I don’t want them here-”

“Neither do I Jim, but Steve should be the one to make that decision and while he can’t we’re going to have to let them at least see him.”

She was a rational woman, albeit sporadic as well,

“Just, just ignore them for now yeah? We’re here for Steve, so we’re only going to focus on Steve. Can you do that for me, Jim?”

Jim snuffed in her hair placing a kiss where his mouth was, 

“For you? Anything.”

They sat together like that until they heard the door open a short nurse with pink scrubs stepped out and holding up a pad, 

“Family for Harrington?”

Everything was fuzzy, he felt like he was trapped in molasses, unable to move without effort, and effort was hard to find in the haze, 

He could hear voices, two extremely familiar ones that made him want to retreat, something in the clipped tones telling him to hide even though it would be fruitless. There were two other voices, one a deep timber that almost made his chest feel like he was vibrating with the intensity of it, it felt warm and protective. The other one was softer, with an edge in it from time to time but overall gentle, like a soothing river with the trickling tone that felt like relief and safety. 

He needed to see the faces of those voices, had to let them know he was ok. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew they’d want to know anyway.

Slowly, he peeled his eyes open, the lights blurring around him as he blinked again, the voices becoming slightly clearer with the persistence fuzz he had gotten used to in the past year. Things started to clear slightly, the blur becoming the normal blur as he watched a small woman who was stroking his cheek, looking ahead and talking to someone with a clipped tone. Despite her chilly fingers, she was warm, a soft safe feeling emulating off of her as he blinked sluggishly again, trying to move his arms and finding it impossible.

He needed to get her attention, he had to get her attention.

“‘om?” 

The woman snapped her head back to him, her eyes filling with tears as she brought her other hand up to stroke his other cheek, the warm feeling spreading in his chest again, 

“Hey, you,” she said, a smile teasing at her lips. He knew her, something in his chest was screaming that he did, 

“Mom?” he tried again, the only logical answer to who she could be by how he was feeling. The woman blinked tears back as she nodded, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his nose, 

“I got you, Hon, go back to sleep now.”

He hummed, the warmth spreading all over at the feeling of her kiss and he knew he was right, 

this had to be his mom. Only a mom could do that.

But he had to find the other voice before he let the molasses pull him back, so he fought the urge to close his eyes and tried to move his hand again, Mom caught on and took his hand with her hands, 

“What is it dear?”

The room was quiet now, the arguing had stopped so it was making it hard to find the other voice, and words weren’t coming to him, 

“Oth’r?”

“ voice, who’s the other voice?” he huffed a breath out in frustration at the inability to get the rest of the question out, his fingers clenching around Mom’s hand as he tried to relay the rest through touch. She frowned, clearly trying to understand before something in her eyes clicked, 

“Jim, get over here.”

Jim? Who was Jim? before he could finish the thought a tall man came and stood behind Mom, a soft smile that mirrored hers as he put one hand on her shoulder and the other on top of Mom’s hand that was holding his, 

“Hey there kid”

Oh! 

That was the voice, he felt excitement spark in his veins as he looked between the two of them.

If she was Mom he must be Dad, it was the only logical reason he felt the same warmth run through him at the comment and the smile, he thinks he’s smiling, he feels like he is as his finger twitches in their hold,

“Dad, I-”

“I know kid, you did good. Take a nap. You're ok, I’m here.” 

It was all he needed to hear as he slipped back into the molasses, the warmth enveloping him as he hummed a response and let the darkness take over again.

Joyce Byers simply didn’t think she could hate John and Regina Harrington anymore than she already did before.

But if there was one thing that all Harrington’s did, it was taking Joyce by surprise.

Her terms were that the two stood off to the side and allowed them to check Steve first, make sure he was ok and then they could see him. If he woke up while they were still there then good, if not, they were to leave within an hour of their visit. 

Regina didn’t take well to the terms, insisting she was his mother so she should have the final say in what happened to him and Joyce truly wanted nothing more than to slap her again, only this time doing it hard enough to knock her out.

John simply scoffed and said they were making too much of a big deal about it, Steve was a legal adult and he didn’t need babying.

She stored the comment away for later when they inevitably tried to take control of him again, she’d need anything she could get.

She may be a dirty poor whore but she’s smart, quick on her feet, and knows how to talk a person into their own pit.

If she had to play dirty to protect Steve then she was going to be the dirtiest player on the field.

Jim intervened once or twice, content to let her do the talking and only stepping up when she needed him, both knowing it would be stupid to go after the Chief of Police or his girl.

It was nearly on the hour when Steve started to come around, and that seemed to be enough of a reason for John to decide he could break the truce, walking over to the bed and leaning over Steve’s drugged form, 

“Come on boy, wake up.”

“You get away from him-”

Joyce shoved him out of the way, putting herself between Steve and his father with a feral glint in her eye, 

“You’re leaving. Now.” 

“Absolutely not. I’ve put up with this long enough Joyce Byers. Since I can’t go to the Cheif of police on this matter I will take this to the station and anywhere else I need to ruin you-”

Joyce barked a cold laugh, turning around and sitting on the edge of the bed, softly stroking Steve’s cheek with her fingers, avoiding the tubes and bandaging as best she could

“I’m a mostly single mom of three, now four, all four who have been through far more than any child their age should have to go through. My son was kidnapped for a week, I have another daughter who I’ve adopted out of a horribly abusive situation, a son with a fucked up back and far too much stress, and now a child with an aggressive form of cancer. My first husband was an abusive piece of shit, and I have fought tooth and nail to get to where I am now. You can’t ruin me, John Harrington, you want to believe you can, but you could never come close to ruining me.”

“ ‘om?”

Joyce whipped around to find Steve staring up at her with bleary eyes, trying desperately to make sense of everything going on,

She felt her eyes brim with tears as she gently took his face in her hands, stroking his cheeks, 

“Hey, you,”

Steve blinked up at her, before trying again, 

“Mom?” 

Joyce's whole world exploded with a bright warmth at the Name, her heart clenching as she sighed, some of the tears slipping past her eyes, nodding to his question as she kissed his nose as gently as possible, 

“I got you, Hon, go back to sleep now.”

Steve was struggling to stay awake, a tiny noise coming out of his throat as his fingers twitched, obviously trying to say something but unable to produce words, Joyce caught on quickly, taking his hand with her hands, 

“What is it dear?”

The room was quiet now, the arguing had stopped and everyone watched the struggling child with bated breath,

“Oth’r?

His eye flashed before he let off a small huff in frustration a whine in the back of his throat, 

“ other? Who is the other-”

She frowned, trying in vain to understand what the other was until clicked, 

“Jim, get over here.”

Jim took two quick strides to stand behind her, a soft smile as he regarded the hazy child, placing a hand on her shoulder and the other on their clasped hands, 

“Hey there kid”

Steve’s eyes lit up as he hummed softly, a tiny smile on the side of his mouth as his fingers twitched,

“Dad, I-”

“I know kid, you did good. Take a nap. You're ok, I’m here.” 

That was all it took for Steve to let go again, slipping into unconsciousness.

The room went silent save the noises of the machines before Regina huffed in frustration, 

“Well, it looks like he’s made his decision.”

“Show up for him every now and again and he’d be calling you mom instead,”

Joyce sneered, relishing in the way she backtracked and then stormed out of the room completely,

John sneered at her, straightening his coat as he went for the door, 

“Tell Steven not to expect to hear from us.”

“Don’t worry, he is used to it by now.”

She quipped, flipping him off as he left, scoffing under his breath as he closed the door harder than needed.

As soon as they left the two felt like they could breathe, joy rushing through her as she took in the sight of Steve, alive and mostly alert. 

He was going to be ok.

She was just so glad he was ok.

One step at a time, Joyce Byers was going to be the mother Steve always deserved.

Chapter Text

Steve slept the rest of the day and night.

The kids came over after school let out, Will, Mike, and El caught a ride with Jonathan and Eddie drove the other four plus Robin. 

They were allowed to visit in shifts, Joyce staying in the room while Jim brought the kids in two by two to visit. 

Dustin and Max went first, both of them fighting to go first and then stalling as soon as they got to the room, a fear of the unknown prickling on the back of their necks as Jim gave them both a soft shove, not wanting them to get stuck in their heads and turn around. 

It took them a minute to adjust both of them skittishly looking at the ground as they shifted on their feet, Joyce taking pity on them,

“If you guys don’t feel comfortable I know Steve would rather you-”

“No! No, I just. I just need a second”

Max whispered, pinching the inside of her hand, Dustin nodding and taking her hand,

“Ok?”

She nodded, as they both walked over the rest of the way to stand next to Joyce and watch Steve sleep, Max bit her tongue, tears springing to her eyes as she clutched Dustin’s hand harder at the sight of him, Joyce laying a soft hand on her shoulder

“See? He’s alright dear. Just sleeping.”

“He looks so-”

She cut herself off, not willing to say what she was thinking, Dustin finished for her, a tremor in his voice,

“He looks so frail. Steve isn’t frail.”

Joyce cooed softly turning them both into her sides as she stroked Dustin’s head and Max’s shoulder, 

“It’s ok, he’s going to be ok.”

After a couple of minutes of hiding at her side, they both took a breath, wiped their eyes, and Dustin started to regale Steve on the day they had at school, Max jumping in with a quip here or there until they both were back to their normal selves, joking about their shared hate of Steve’s love for olives on pizza and making a plan to try and convince him his scar and missing hair were going to be cool.

They gave Joyce another hug, Dustin, squeezed Steve’s hand and Max gave him a soft kiss on his cheek before they both filed out, Jim smiling as he ruffled their heads and told them he was proud of them.

Erica and Lucas are next, both giving Dustin and Max a hug and whispering something soft before following Jim. Both carry themselves with confidence and face the situation head-on with a guarded look. 

They bump elbows before walking into the room, both giving Joyce a side hug and asking how she is before going to see Steve.

Lucas holds Erica by her shoulders, a gentle yet firm grasp as she analyzes her protector closely, Lucas doing the same with an identical expression before Erica breaks the silence,

“He’s going to have one big-ass scar on his head this time around-”

“ Erica-”

“What?!? It’s just the Facts, Lucas. Besides, it’ll look a lot cooler than some of the other ones he has.”

Lucas snorts, a small smile twitching on his lips,

“I don’t know, the demobat ones are pretty cool.”

They size up his scars for a little longer before deciding to switch the conversation to Lucas’ upcoming game and Erica’s debate. 

Steve promised he’d attend both, and the Sinclairs knew it was going to take more than a surgery to stop him from keeping the promise.

They both gave Joyce another small squeeze before Lucas took Steve’s hand and folded it into a loose fist, Erica softly bumping it with her own and Lucas doing the same afterward before they both snuck out. 

Out of the entire group of children, the Sinclairs would always be the two that surprised him the most with their maturity. 

Mike was hesitant to go in, skittishly suggesting someone else go before Eddie took him by the shoulder and guided him in with him, talking softly about their newest campaign the help direct his focus somewhere else.

As soon as they walked into the room Mike moved to leave, Eddie taking him by the elbow again and leading him over to Joyce like a guilty puppy,

“Afternoon M’lady, me and the Paladin here are ready to pay our respects to the King.”

Joyce snorted at the antics as Mike grumbled something under his breath but allowed Joyce to pat his cheek, 

“He’s sleeping so I’m not sure he’s going to be much company.”

Mike rolled his eyes, looking back at the door before glancing at the bed, 

“Yeah well, at least he won’t keep talking for once,”

It was a weak stab at trying to act ok, and the other three accepted it without question.

Eddie complained softly to Steve about how annoying the kids were to drive around, how Max insisted on shotgun and Luca’s had just as bad a taste in music as Steve did, how Dustin asked questions every five minutes and Mike complained about everything and nothing from start to finish and Erica was constantly correcting someone, Mike cutting in and telling Eddie he was lucky he wasn’t there for the tunnels, which lead to Mike retelling the tunnels story of ‘84 and realizing halfway through that he was going to get it from the other three involved and possibly Steve as well once they realized he broke the pack and told Jim all the details.

By the end of it, Mike was looser, still watching Steve like he expected him to die right in front of him but overall somewhat calmer, batting Eddie’s hand away as he went to leave, turning around to poke Steve’s shoulder and then walk out, Eddie hot on his heals after he told Steve to sleep well and patted his hand, eyes flittering to his cheek and moving to bend down before he thought twice and booked it after Mike, Joyce and Jim both barley holding a chuckle in at the second thoughts.

Robin and Jonathan went next, chatting softly until they reached the room, Robin made a beeline for the bed, gently caressing his face as she whispered to him, leaning over to kiss his cheek and then his nose.

Jonathan watched with a smile, going over and hugging his mom tightly, letting her untense in his embrace as he asked how she was holding up, turning to ask Jim the same as soon as she confirmed she was alright. 

Robin didn’t pay much attention to anyone else in the room, turning and looking over her shoulder to throw a quick “hi how are you” to the adults before turning her attention back to her best friend, filling him in on all the gossip from the day and how everyone was holding up, only pausing to let Jonathan have a turn, the shy boy simply resting a hand on his shoulder and greeting him before Robin launched into some rant about The Princess Bride adaptation that was supposed to come out in the following year. Jonathan talked softly with the adults, tensing when they told him about the Harringtons' surprise visit and agreeing to keep things private, only telling Eddie and Robin in case they decided to show up again when Joyce or Jim weren't there.

After a while they both moved to leave, Robin nearly crying at the idea of parting with her platonic soulmate and Jonathan assuring her that she could take the first shift if it made her feel any better.

She gave him another kiss on the cheek before telling him not to OD without her and Jonathan rolled his eyes, patting Steve’s hand before all but dragging Robin out, the girl biting her tongue to keep from crying.

Last was Will and El, both scared to be in a room with that many reminders of their past but ultimately also afraid of seeing Steve in a state of weakness. The moment they stepped foot in the room they made a beeline for Joyce, wrapping her in a tight hug and then doing the same for Jim.

“You know, he wouldn’t hold it against you if you felt uncomfortable-”

“No. no, I would hold it against me. Steve would do the same for me, so I- I’m good.”

El took Will’s hand, a small smile peaking at the corner of her mouth, 

“Yes. we are good.”

The wonder twins nodded at each other before going over to Steve, El asking questions about what the different devices and tubes did while Will took it in with a firm eye before nodding to himself and righting the blanket slightly, taking two pillows to stuff at his sides, and carefully lifted one arm to stuff Marty under it, standing back and smiling at his handiwork.

After both felt satisfied that Steve was both safe and comfortable they said their goodbyes, El poking Steve’s cheek softly with a smile and Will patting his hand, whispering something in his ear before they followed Jim out again.

By the time the whole group had made their rounds, the older group took them home, Both Joyce and Jim settled down for the night, Joyce taking the cot and Jim taking the chair next to the bed. 

He didn’t sleep much that night, despite the excitement and emotional drain of the day, his mind still racing with everything the Harringtons had spewed at him. It was the truth, no matter how much he wanted to ignore it, he hadn’t raised a child into adulthood, his first didn’t make it past eight and he was still terrified his second would be taken from him again like she was when he was taken from her. And now he had Steve. 

Legally, Steve was over eighteen, but he wasn’t even twenty yet, and Jim was terrified he wouldn’t ever make it past twenty. 

It had been his fault that Sarah got sick, to begin with, he was the one that carried the disease to his beloved little girl. And it was his fault that El spent almost a year reeling in pain from his death only to be abducted and played with again all because he had asked Joyce to save him. And it wasn’t until he had started to get close to Steve had he wound up with this sickness.

It didn’t matter how many times they said it, he knew in his heart of hearts it was always going to be his fault.

Every heartache, every sickness, every wrong thing that would ever happen to his kids would be his fault. 

He felt like his world was collapsing in on him, tears threatening to spill over as he sat forward and bowed his head on his clasped hands, trying to reign in the emotions threatening to spill over.

He felt cold fingers tough his wrist, feather-light and barely even grazing but there, and he sat up.

Steve was watching him through hazy eyes, his brow pinched in confusion as he tried to reach out again, Jim catching his hand and holding it in a gentle grasp, 

“Hey Kid”

Steve blinked at him slowly, his nose twitching slightly as he tried to say something in reply,

“Don’t stress yourself out Steve, things are going to be confusing for a little while ok, just try to rest while you can-”

“Why’r you cry’n”

Even sick as he was and clearly in discomfort, Steve was still looking out for everyone other than himself. Jim both loved his empathetic heart and hated how selfless he was. 

“I’m good kid, don’t worry about me, I’m glad you woke up. Now go back to sleep, you’re going to need as much rest as you can get, alright?”

Steve hummed, his eyes trailing Jim up and down and stopping at their joined hands, a small smile cracking on the side of his lips at the sight of it before looking back up at Jim,

“What’s so funny kid?”

“L’ke it wh’n you h’ld ‘e” 

It broke his heart that a simple handhold could be considered holding, but he nodded with a tight smile of his own, vowing to himself to hold the kid as much as he’d allow him to,

“That’s nice kid, now go to sleep you brat.”

Steve giggled at the name, allowing himself to slip off again, leaving Jim in the silence of the night, surrounded by the beeping of machines that he had so wished he wouldn’t have to hear again, but he’d do anything for his kids.

He’d move hell and highwater for them, he’d put himself between them and anything that ever threatened them every day, he would die the most agonizing death if it was for them.

He wasn’t sure when it started, it was a little after that talk in the kitchen and before proverbial hell had come back into Hawkins in the form of cancer, but somewhere between though days, Steve had become his kid. 

And he’d be damned if he didn’t do everything in his power for his kid.

Chapter Text

Steve was up more fully the following day, and not surprisingly, he was a bit grumpy. He had tried his best to curb it, but instead of his barbs or complaints coming off harsh, they mostly sounded like a six-year-old who had been told no to going and playing in the rain and was angry with the world.

Joyce thought it was hilarious, and Jim tried to act like he didn't think it was hilarious.

His mood brightened when the kids stopped by, the frown slowly chipping away into a soft smile as he listened to them rant, asking soft questions every now and again and carefully nodding along. True to their promise, Robin and Eddie got to do the first shift, both flying into the room with far too much excitement for two almost 20-year-olds (well, one almost 20-year-old and one almost 22-year-old)  Who were going to be spending the night listening to Steve grumble or ask one thousand questions depending on his mood.

Robin made herself at home on the edge of the bed, hand flapping as she filled him in on the day's excitement, re-explaining it twice without a question whenever he’d ask her the same question over a few times. Eddie chuckled at the sight of them before plopping their bag down and shooing the parents out of the room, 

“Get on with it you two, go shower and sleep and do whatever but keep it PG alright? Can’t have any other little monsters running around Hawkins these days no matter how cute they may be,”

Joyce slapped his arm, scolding him as Jim backhanded him softly, the metalhead not even phased as he laughed off the abuses and all but shoved them out into the hall,

“We’ll behave here don’t you worry about that. Robin isn’t looking to jump me or Steve and frankly, I don’t want to jump her either, and Steve’s out of commission for the time being so I won’t be doing anything other than some light flustering, you have my word, scouts honor,”

“You were never a scout dickhead!”

“Wait, Eds was a scout?!?! Rob! Eds was a scout?!?”

Jim laughed under his breath as Eddie scoffed dramatically, 

“You see what I have to put up with? Nevermind that, just g o o o o o o already will you?”

They didn’t end up going home right away, Jim took a detour to the diner on the corner and they had waffles for lunch, loving the connection to the breakfast meal and the comfort that it brought him. It was a Byers-Hopper comfort food now, if you were sad, waffles, if you had something to celebrate, also waffles, if you needed a snack in the middle of the night, eggos but they were still waffles. 

Today they had something to celebrate.

They ate their waffles with small banter and light hearts and then went home.

They did take a shower, both relishing the hot water and the clean feeling of washing off the smell of the hospital, and after some house cleaning and throwing a lasagna in the oven, they went to bed.

It was nice having the house to themselves, the kids were camping out at the Henderson house for the night and Jonathan wouldn’t be home until later leaving them to their own devices for the afternoon and the majority of the evening,

Despite Eddie’s suggestion, nothing was done in PG.

(but no one but they had to know about that)

They hit their first bump in the road two days later. 

Steve’s seizures came back full force just before the kids were going to visit.

He hadn’t had once since the operation, and they had been carefully optimistic that he wouldn’t have any more due to most of the tumor being removed.

They weren’t there at the time, it had been Jonathan, and Eddie, Robin was at work and they were picking the kids up. When Jim walked back in he found Eddie sitting cross-legged on the bed with Steve in his arms as he whispered softly to him his quaking body spasming in Eddie’s embrace as the normally spunky metalhead sang softly and carefully rubbed his back. Jonathan was a mess, pacing back and forth before seeing Jim in the doorway and it looked like he was a second away from snapping in half.

“They’re back, and worse than before and we have no clue why because he was fine and now it’s- this is his fifth in the last four hours and I couldn’t get ahold of you or Mom and the Doctor isn’t in until 5 so-” he sucked in a breath and charged for Joyce who had just walked in, pushing himself into her arms as she held him close, eyes wide in confusion at Jonathan’s reaction until she looked at Steve and Eddie and then back at Jim and he could see the moment her heart broke, 

“Oh… oh no,”

She whispered softly, hands now stroking Jonathan’s mop of hair as Jim rubbed his shoulder before going over to the other two. 

Steve wasn’t spasming as much anymore, labored breaths coming up with a frustrated sob as Eddie continued to stroke him gently, 

“You’re alright big boy, it’s over for now. Let’s just breathe yeah? Nice and slow for me, good job love, you’re doing so well.”

Eddie flashed a look up to Jim before looking back down at Steve, bumping his nose on Steve’s temple, 

“Hey, looks like Chief is here Stevie,”

Steve tried to push himself off of Eddie, Eddie catching on and slowly releasing him and letting him lean on him so he could face Jim.

Steve looked exhausted, sniffling back some of the tears that kept spilling as he frowned at Jim, 

“I- it was fine- and then- I don’t know anymore-”

“Oh, kid,”

Jim slowly reached forward and pulled him into a hug, Eddie shuffling off the bed as he sat down in his place, letting Steve melt into him,

“Where were you? I- I- was, I tried to find you but-”

Jim’s heart broke as he held him closer, anger spinning in his gut for leaving the boy alone and misery pulling at his lungs as he realized that Steve had needed him, wanted him there and he wasn’t there when he needed him. 

He had failed him.

“I’m so sorry bud, I really am. I was- it doesn’t matter what I was doing, kid, I’m sorry I left you,”

Steve whimpered into him, his body relaxing as he started to drift, frustration tingling in him, 

“Damnit, I- I don’t want to do this again, I hate this, I hate how tired I am-”

“Steve, kid you need to sleep, stress makes these worse and you need to try and better your chances-”

“No! No no, you’ll- I can’t because you- god this is so stupid-”

It clicked in, his whole body filling with a twisted sadness and mocking warmth as he pulled away slowly and lifted Steve’s chin so he could look him in the eye, 

“I’m not going to leave again kid, I’ll be right here with you the whole time.”

“Promise?”

He whispered, an unsure look in his eyes as he let Jim push him back into the bed, 

“Yeah kid, I promise. I’ll sit in the chair right there, you’ll have a good sight of me, alright? I won’t move until you wake up again.”

Steve untensed, his breaths still coming out sharp as he gave up and let Jim stand and pull the blankets up, pressing a careful kiss to his forehead, 

“Ok, I- I trust you”

The simple statement was a lot. Sure he knew the whole group trusted each other, but for Steve to openly admit that he did, especially to Jim, was more than just a statement. It was an honor, and a damned hard one to come by to be trusted by Steve.

“I know you do kid, sleep.”

Jonathan gave them a rundown on what had happened, Eddie swearing under his breath before going to stand and look out the window, his whole body shaking like a leaf after having to keep calm for almost four hours, the adrenaline finally wearing off as Joyce went to go stand by his side, rubbing his back and giving him someone to lean on. 

He had a full-blown seizure earlier, right after they had switched off in the morning. It scared the shit out of both Eddie and Jonathan and after the nurses and the doctor on hand had helped, they explained that it was that bad due to him not having one in a while and the surgery. He slept for a while after the medicine they had given him and woke up again an hour and a half later and was fine for a while before having another two focal seizures, within an hour and then tried to stave off the one he just had before they walked in.

They had tried to call three times to get ahold of him or Joyce, but after the third try they gave up.

Neither of them said it but it was clear from how they tried to keep it tight-lipped. 

“We needed you. Where were you?”

The two took a minute more to collect themselves before saying they’d take the kids home for the night, Joyce telling them to go to the cabin and letting Jonathan know there was a meal in the freezer for them, insisting the two of them get some rest, both boys laughing softly as she kissed their cheeks, agreeing they would try.

When Doctor Burns did meet with them she had already been filled in with the morning's happenings, quickly assuring them that a major seizure like that should hopefully not happen again, explaining that it could be a mix of their still being tumor left in his brain and a reaction to the surgery itself, but it made sense that the focal seizures were still there. 

Steve wasn’t all there for the rest of the day, spending most of the day half awake and confused and most of the night in the same fashion.

The pure relief when he saw Jim was still there when he woke up was enough to actually bring him to tears. Every time he woke up and saw him he’d say the same thing, 

“ I thought you were going to leave,” 

Jim hated it. He felt like the scum of the earth every time until he asked him why he’d think that, and Steve shrugged, snuggling into his quilt as he watched Jim with a careful eye,

“They usually do. He always does, it’s easier I guess.”

And while he knew it wasn’t going to be easy, he was never going to leave the kid again.

The next setback was one that was almost expected.

Steve had major difficulty walking again, his muscle control was also bad, he found it hard to hold onto things and had an almost constant tremor that infuriated him. 

The first two days he’d force himself to do it though, trembling and swearing under his breath but he would force himself to walk for as long as he could take it before the shaking got too much and he was nearing a breakdown. Halfway through a PT session, he called a quits sobbing into his trembling hands at his inability to spell his name without forgetting some of the letters and being unable to hold the pencil tight enough. 

Jim was there the entire time. Steadfast support through all the setbacks and someone who pushed him to try again. He’d let him cry and vent and rant but he’d draw the line at him putting himself down, he’d put a hand on his back, shifting him so he was sitting straighter, and wipe his face with a tissue, holding his chin between his thumb and his pointer finger, looking the boy deep in the eye, 

“No more of that, you are going to try again, you got this.”

At first, Steve would fight him on it, say he was a screw-up that could never get anything right but after the second day of self-depreciation when Jim straightened his back and wiped his tear and held his chin, Steve beat him to the punch, taking a breath as he squared his shoulders and met Jim’s stare with water eyes, 

“I got this,”

Jim smiled his own eyes tearing up as he nodded, 

“Hell yeah, you do Kid.”

It didn’t get much better, but he was able to walk a little longer than before and could hold things with a slightly better grasp, and he had doubled down to work on his upper body strength, but the tremor stayed. 

He was learning to be ok with it, and Jim would hear him whisper softly to himself 

“I got this,” 

Jim would smirk, ruffle the side of his head that wasn’t bandaged, and whisper back,

“Hell yeah, you do kid.”

It became their mantra, something the two of them held close, something he knew would be coming up more and more. 

Twelve days after the operation Steve was cleared to go home, and the kids were ecstatic.

He was excited too, albeit nervous the idea of being back in the fold with everyone and not being able to keep up made him spiral into a panic that ended in him crying himself into throwing up. It took Jim nearly an hour to convince him that everything would be fine, and while it worked enough that he went to sleep, all the panic was back first thing in the morning, nearly undoing all the work Jim had done that night.

Although he resented it, Steve was sent home with a wheelchair, a set of forearm crutches, and a long PT routine to follow. Robin, Eddie, and Jonathan were quick to jump on the opportunity to be taught how to help him with his stretches and workouts, all three making light jokes and keeping the morale up as they were shown what to do, Jonathan working hands-on with Steve’s therapist Carol and Robin and Eddie following along, with each other, Eddie put on a mock old man voice while Robin cackled and Jonathan tried to act professional, Steve laughing the entire time at their antics.

Moving back in was its own fanfare of nonsense. The kids were wild with excitement, all of them wanting to hug Steve the second he got through the door. They ended up having a movie night, all of them piling up in the living room and tossing every pillow, blanket, and soft article into a huge pile on Will and El’s mattresses before settling in and watching the entirety of the Star Wars trilogy.

It was the first time in two weeks that Jim felt like he could properly breathe, all of them in the same room and safe.

The scar was another setback on its own. 

Steve was quick to play it off, try and ignore the loss of his hair on the one side but he never looked in a mirror, he’d reach up to touch the lack of hair only to stop himself short and bite his lip, tapping on whatever surface was near to try and direct his focus elsewhere.

The kids picked up on it and tried to make comments on how badass it looked, Eddie calling it metal at one point and Steve blushed softly, brushing it off easily as he insisted that there was nothing metal about a patch of missing hair and a long ass streak against his head.

It was actually Mike, that came up with the best solution, apparently skipping school one day and coming to the house banging on the door with his arms full of multi-colored silk scarves that his mother had bought.

“She never uses them anymore. Got them because they were like, a trend or some shit but they just sit in the basement so why not,”

Steve smiled at the sentiment, nabbing him by the arm and reprimanding him for skipping school as he ushered him into his room.

The two spent the afternoon trying different ties and looks with them, Mike humoring Steve by wearing one himself, deciding that the blue and yellow checkered one was “too good looking” for Steve’s hair color and tying it into a simple band pushing his bang all the way back with it. 

By the time the rest of the Byers-Hoppers had come home, Steve had settled on a green and pink one, tying it off like Mike’s but pulling what was left of his bang out so it sat over it. Mike stuffed all the other ones into his top drawer, saying he might want to change the color depending on the day, and Steve smiled at him, tears in his eyes as he nodded along, not quite trusting his voice enough to answer

The way that Steve smiled, sitting with a confidence he had lost at dinner, happily informing the family that it was Mike’s idea made Jim like Mike a little more.

Steve worked his ass off to get to a point where he was just using the forearm crutches on bad days, Jim was beyond proud of his boy, and for a short three weeks, things felt lighter around the home. There was a constant busyness, the kids were doing school and afterschool activities, Jon, Joyce, and Jim were working, and Steve had multiple appointments between physical therapy and tests to prepare for phase two but they enjoyed the constant flow of things to do.

Steve was scheduled to have a CVC implanted the Sunday before Halloween, and was set to have his first chemo session the following Tuesday. As soon as they heard it was a day procedure, Will and El wanted to tag along which nearly broke out in World War 3 among the party. 

Eddie ended up being the one to break up the fight, telling the remaining party members that if they stayed back then they could go with him on a trip to pick out the movies and snacks for the Halloween movie night planned for Monday. 

While they still weren’t thrilled, the rest went along with it, Max and Dustin the least thrilled of the pack. 

Steve ended up sneaking the two of them into having a sleepover with him the night before, claiming their sour attitudes were bringing the mood down but everyone knew he just wanted to spend some extra time with his favorites out of the bunch. Max and Dustin both nearly exploded with excitement, swearing to keep it between them.

They ended up spending the night watching Halloween, Poltergeist, and Nightmare on Elm Street, commenting on what they found to be fake or comparing it to their own personal horror movie experiences, all three decided they were too spooked to actually sleep but refused to be the first to say they were, instead settling for gossiping about what Erica found under Lucas’ bed, how long it was going to take for Mike and Will to work out their shit, and what the hell was Ted Wheeler’s deal. (in the end, Max decided he was an undercover agent from the swiss alps, Steve was sure he was a pod person and Dustin was hard set he was actually from a completely different universe.)

Close to three in the morning Jim snuck into the kitchen to get a glass of water and found all three of them crashed into each other, a mess of limbs and blankets snoring softly the sound of the T.V static filling the silence of the night.

Jim snorted, downing his glass of water before taking Max and Dustin and righting them on the mattress on the ground, covering them with the spare blanket, and then taking Steve and stretching him out next to them, covering him with the Yellow blanket Dustin had given him, ruffling the kid's heads softly before going back to sleep for the next few hours before their world shifted again tomorrow morning.

Chapter Text

Steve is jittery the following morning. 

The hospital has become a constant for the family as of late, at one point, Steve told Joyce he felt like he’d been there more than he’d been to the grocery store in the last five months. 

He’s going to be spending the next week there, and while he’s trying not to show it, he’s beyond anxious about everything. His memory is foggy, almost like he’s there but not really, someone is talking to him and he can hear them but he can’t understand what they’re asking until they’ve repeated themselves more than they should have and it makes him feel stupid. His tremoring is bad today, the constant shiver closer to a vibration that won’t stop spasming, and no matter how hard he focuses, he can’t walk for more than three steps without his knees buckling and it’s infuriating. 

Everything is infuriating, and quite frankly, his inability to tie his shoes because he can’t remember no matter how hard he tries and his hands won't stop fucking shaking is his last straw.

“You know what- FUCK IT!” 

He threw his shoe against the wall, curling in on himself as pathetic fat tears rolled down his face, shame and anger and fear all spinning in him like a washing machine drum, thumping against his heart and pounding in his ears.

He felt someone come into the room, the shadow of a person sitting down in front of him letting him know they are watching him but he can’t look up, can’t face whoever it is at 7 in the morning that was probably awoken by his tantrum.

“I-”

He cut himself off as his throat closed up, more tears spilling much to his frustration.

Jim sighed, reaching behind him and grabbing the thrown shoe, turning around and gently easing Steve’s leg out so as not to dislodge his face from his knees. Jim puts the shoe on with practiced ease, pulling the laces tight as he ties the shoe, moving to pick up the second shoe and do the same thing, the room silent besides the sounds of Steve’s stifled sniffles.

After he finished Jim patted Steve’s feet, waiting until he raised his head, teary eyes meeting Jim’s soft eyes.

“You have three options. We can talk about it now, we can talk about it later, or you can talk to Joyce about it.”

Steve shifted, resting his chin on his folded arms over his knees, not looking directly at Jim as he tried to collect himself.

It was another change in their relationship as of late, Steve talked to him.

It started off small, asking him questions on how to do something, and slowly turned into Steve sharing small things at odd times, while they were making dinner side by side, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and a sprite, while Jim was chopping wood and Steve was raking leaves or simply watching depending on the day, and then it trickled into bigger things, Steve would tell him about his struggles more often and Jim provided a space for him to vent. 

So now, whenever these outbursts happened or Steve got overwhelmed, Jim would give him options, something so he still felt in control of something while everything else around him spiraled out of his control.

“I couldn’t tie my shoes, it’s stupid because I don’t think- I’ve never forgotten that before, and my damn hands won’t stop shaking, and I don’t think today’s going to be a ‘good day’ and I just-”

He sucked in a breath, closing his eyes as he exhaled slowly, Jim waiting patiently for him to finish, 

“I just wanted to be able to be like, semi-normal. Before everything, not be weak or some shit, and I guess karma had different plans.”

“Hey, what did I say about the self-depreciation kid,”

Steve huffed, still not meeting Jim’s eyes as the older man leaned forward, his back killing him for the position on the floor,

“Steve. You are not weak. Do you understand? No one expected you to be able to brush off this and just act as if nothing happened, so why do you?”

Steve glanced at him, his honey hazel eyes meeting Jim’s sharp blue eyes, 

“This isn’t even the worst part yet, so if I can’t handle it now, what am I going to do then?”

Jim sucked a breath in, a wave of hurt washing over him for the boy he was coming to see as his own, 

“Kid, you’re right. The worst is literally right out the door today, I would be cruel to lie to you about that. But here’s the thing. You don’t have to do anything about it, there’s only one thing for you to do in this whole thing and you’re already doing it kid,”

Jim shuffled, sitting next to Steve and gently putting a hand behind his back, sitting him up straight, 

“All you got to do is Straighten up,”

He wiped the tears off his cheeks, softly with his thumb,

“Wipe your tears,”

He turned Steve's head to face him, taking his chin between his thumb and pointer finger as he lifted it up to make their eyes meet,

“Hold your head up high, and remember,”

Steve blinked, a smile quirking at the side of his mouth, 

“I got this.”

Jim smiled bumping his forehead against Steve’s, basking in the small giggle and the smile he got in return for the simple act,

“Hell yeah, you do kid.”

The room Steve would be staying in was nice. They were slightly more homey than typical hospital rooms, an effort to bring a sense of comfort and normality. The minute they walked in El took one look at the soft yellow paint and nodded, turning to look at Steve with a huge grin,

“This is your room. It is your favorite color.”

Besides Steve’s bed, there was a nice armchair beside the bed and a couch that folded out into a bed along with a television, nightstand, a closet, and a bathroom connected to the room. While he would be allowed to wear his clothes for his stay, for the operation he’d need to be in a gown again, much to his greater displeasure. Will thought it was funny, giggling about the holes in the back that no matter how tight they have tied somehow skin and his boxers still poked out. Steve grumbled about it, flicking Will’s forehead and informing him that he saw Will’s scrawny ass plenty of times in the same attire, so there was no room for mockery, El opted out of joking about it verbally, her own memories tied to the gowns being negative but enjoying the bantering of her brothers enough to giggle through it. 

Joyce organized the stuff they had brought into the drawers while Jim made a few calls and then followed her around, the two making a game plan for the week, the three sitting cross-legged on Steve’s bed chatting and bantering with ease until it dawned on Will,

“Steve! You won’t be home in time for Halloween.”

El looked crushed as the same realization dawned on her, Steve frowning as he ruffled both of their heads, 

“I didn’t want to say anything, didn’t want to disappoint you guys or anything-”

“We’re stopping in before we go trick-or-treating”

Steve balked, blinking owlishly at El before Will snorted, bumping her arm, 

“El we’re fifteen, do you really want to go trick-or-treating this year?”

“Yes. we are all going.”

She had this way of talking in a way that made everything seem like a fact, and Will couldn’t help but crack up at her bluntness, 

“Alright sure, but I think Eddie wanted to do a horror one-shot so we’ll have to make it quick.”

Steve smiled, watching the two go back and forth with ease he’d come to find they really only had around each other. 

It was sweet, to see them this way. They reminded him of what it could be like to have a sibling his age, how it must be to grow up with someone that knew you inside out, and what it could be like if he had been Robin or Jonathan’s, twin. 

There was a soft knock that pulled everyone out of their respective worlds, Dr. Burns sticking her head in the room with a tentative smile,

“Good morning Byers-Hoppers, looks like we’re missing a member today.”

Steve felt his body rush with warmth at being lumped in with the family, his cheeks heating up as El smiled at him, patting his knees,

“ That cheeky Mynx read my mind” 

El giggled in response as Joyce shook Dr. Burns's hand with a soft smile of her own, 

“Jon’s out for the morning, he’s dropping his friend off at the airport but he’ll show up later today,” 

Dr. Burns made a small ah noise in understanding as she reached out and shook Jim’s hand as well, before turning to the three on the bed with a small laugh,

“Looks like I’ve got three patients now,” 

She teased, Will and El scrambling off the bed as Steve snorted, 

“She doesn’t bite guys, she just likes to stick me with a needle.”

Dr. Burns rolled her eyes with a chuckle, running over her checkup routine, Steve complying with little trouble, 

“Oh, I like this version of you Steve, cheeky Steve definitely beats grumpy Steve.”

She replies with a laugh as she finished up, standing back and chucking her gloves into the bin, 

“Well despite what this gremlin is claiming, I will not be sticking him today. A nurse will be in in a few to get you all set up and then we’ll get that central line set up for you, ok kiddo?” 

Steve snorted at the name, saluting her as a response, Jim gently backhanded him on the head for the gesture as he laughed. 

“Words kid,”

“Fine, Dad, I can’t wait to be poked by a nurse so I can have a permanent poke put in,”

“Jesus kid, you and your sarcasm.”

“Well, I’d say I learned from the best but alas, I have myself to thank for my charming personality.”

“Brat.”

Dr. Burns laughed, shaking  her head as Joyce sighed, trying to hide her amusement, 

“And now you see what it’s like living with these two.”

“I can see there’s never a dull moment, well I’ll be heading out now, I’ll see you in a bit, Steve,”

It was a whirlwind for the next fifteen minutes and between Will and Steve talking about Will’s audition for the school play next spring and El asking the nurse questions about every little thing she did no one had really noticed that Steve was good to go until the nurse said so and the air went still in the room.

Steve took a steadying breath as he ruffled Will’s hair and pulled him in for a tight hug, turning around and doing the same to El, 

“Hey, both of you can’t be worried. This is like, simple, I’ll be back in a little bit alright? And then you can ask me all the embarrassing questions you want because you’ll be stuck with loopy Steve for the rest of the day.”

El giggled softly with a nod, Will smiling bashfully as he repeated the gesture.

Joyce wrapped him up in a hug, kissing his forehead softly as she cupped his face in her hands,

“You’ll be just fine, Sweetie.”

He nodded, forcing a smile, 

“I know,”

Jim was last, bending down and hugging him in a gentle strong embrace, feeling him relax into his hold as Steve rested his head on his shoulder taking a breath before whispering,

“I got this,”

Jim smiled, ruffling the back of his head, 

“Hell yeah, you do kid.”

The wait wasn’t very long. Around half hour in Jonathan arrived, jet-lagged and in dire need of caffeine but there. He took one look at the couch and his shoulder sagged in relief, 

“Oh thank god this room has a couch,”

And before anyone could say anything to him he made a beeline for the couch and crashed into it, mumbling to Will to wake him up when Steve got out as he fell asleep.

Joyce ended up taking the kids down to the cafeteria for lunch, pecking Jim on the cheek as she snuck out with them, El excitedly asking if there was chocolate pudding.

Steve was still out cold when they brought him back in, Dr. Burns telling him all went well and he would need a little time to shake the anesthesia and would probably be groggy and disoriented. 

Jonathan woke up briefly to check if he was ok before crashing again, Jim chuckling at the sight of them before pulling the polaroid out of Jonathan’s bag and snapping a picture of them, Steve sleeping on his back with his head leaning to his left, his right arm positioned on his chest and his left hand laying next to his head, having moved it slightly after Jonathan checked on him.

Jonathan was on his front, one arm pinned against the couch and the other thrown over his head, his left leg hanging off the couch and his right bent a the knee up on the couch.

He shook out the picture before stuffing it in his breast pocket, planning on showing Joyce later, and knowing he’d end up sticking it in his wallet with the picture he had of Will and El on the swings and the one he had of Sarah on her fifth birthday. 

Joyce and the kids came back fifteen minutes after, El ecstatic to show him her collection of vanilla and chocolate pudding that she had found, Will trying to talk her into trying the Rice pudding as well, although she was still unsure.

The rest of the afternoon was quiet, El asked questions about Steve’s port, deciding that as soon as he woke up fully they were going to have to name it, Will agreed with a grin as Jonathan mumbled something about naming inanimate objects in a half-sleep state.

The kids stopped by with Eddie and Robin in the late afternoon, all slightly noisy as they dropped off the stuff they had gotten for him at the beginning of it all, Max walking Joyce through how to heat up the pillow as Joyce nodded along with a soft smile at her determined tone.

Dustin took one look at Steve and sucked a breath in before pulling out the soft yellow blanket and tossing it over him, pulling it up close as he carefully patted his shoulder.

Steve blinked, his eyes hazy as he looked at Dustin, the boy smiling back at him, 

“Hey, buddy!”

He half whispered as Steve hummed in response, not fully awake but wanting to reply in some way. 

“Don’t stress about it Steve you can talk to me later alright, go ahead and go back to dreamland or wherever you were.”

Steve didn’t really wake up again until the kids were leaving, groggy but still wanting a hug from them before they left, grumpy sleepy Steve grumbling something unintelligible as he tried to get them to understand what he wanted, El peaking into his head before smiling and nodding, giving him a careful side hug, the others following suit and giving him a side hug, Robin opting to kiss his cheek and Eddie bending to peck his cheek and pat his head before they left with the kids in tow,

“Take it easy, Sweetheart,”

Eddie teased with a wink, following the rest of the kids out as Robin gave him a swat on the butt. 

Steve’s face flushed at the simple pet name, his heart beating in a way that made his lungs feel like there was an itch lodged inside him.

The last time he had felt that odd itch in his lungs was back in ‘83 when Nancy called him an idiot when they were in her room and he was teasing her about studying, and all he wanted to do was lean over and give her a kiss-

“Oh!” 

He squeaked, the pieces falling into place in his still cloudy brain as he looked to Jim for an explanation, something he was doing more often than not these days.

Jim chuckled softly at Steve, his face flushed with a soft pink and his eyes danced with curiosity and excitement all mixed together.

Jim wasn’t stupid. He had seen all the little looks and soft touches that Munson did whenever he was around Steve, something that had been there long before this newer battle started.

Steve seemed confused by the attention most of the time, never turning down the touches or scoffing at the flirts, But all together cautious about the meaning behind the older boys' pet names and actions.

Although it looked like he’d finally made a connection on the meaning behind it today, and from the looks of it, was feeling the same way in return,

“Yeah Squirt, ‘oh’” 

He teased softly, shaking his head as Steve blinked to try and shake off the shock, picking up Marty and finding a sudden interest in the way his paw prints were sewn onto his feet.

Well, now he gets to add Munson to the shovel talk lists, Wheeler was starting to look lonely as the only name on the list, Argyle somewhere between yes and no.

Good. 

The ex-drug dealer was starting to get too comfortable around him anyway, it would be fun to shake up his world a little when the time came.

Chapter Text

“No no, you go into the loop, bring the yarn around, pull it through- well yeah but not here let me just-”

“Hey, I told you I was hopeless, this is on you for insisting on showing me anyway.”

Robin, Erica, Dustin, and Steve all sat in various states on Steve’s bed, Steve sitting cross-legged at the head, Dustin on his right one knee up and the other half crossed, Robin flat on her stomach at the foot, and Erica with her head on Steve’s left knee and her feet on Robin’s shoulder.

It was Robin’s idea to get Steve into a hobby that wasn’t as she put it, “looking out the window and spiraling” so that he’d have something to do while he was getting his treatment and then for after when he needed a distraction. 

Which led the three from the Scoop’s troop that were not currently stuck in bed on a wild goose hunt to collect hobbies to throw at their fourth member until they found one that stuck;

(“You know, kinda like spaghetti!”

“Henderson I swear to god-”)

So far, they had tried out painting and coloring, (both were hard for him with his tremoring,) origami, (beyond frustrating for everyone besides Robin) macrame, (Erica had liked that, Dustin found it boring after a round, and Steve and Robin somehow made more knots than anything) and now crocheting, which was turning up to be another slam dunk in the “this isn’t really going to work is it” category. Robin had taken it upon herself to get another whiteboard and made two columns, “this isn’t really working is it” and “we have a winner”, 

(“For old times sake Dingus!”

“..... well I guess that stupid had would come in handy now”)

Jim was watching them all go to town on the projects with amusement from behind his paperwork, Jonathan having brought it in for him to work some filing out while he had the time. It was Tuesday, and around 11 Steve was supposed to have his first round of Chemo. Lucas had practice, Jon and Eddie had work, El is going to be trying out for the band, Will is planning Hellfire’s new campaign and Mike was helping, and Max has an eye appointment, which left the official unofficial “Scoops Troop” to see out the first day of Chemo together, and Jim couldn’t think of a better crew for the first day. 

They all balance each other out in a freakishly perfect way.

Dustin is the perfect one for sympathy, he’d be the one there for a hug, a shoulder to lean on, anything that he could shower Steve with affection, he’d be the man for the job.

Robin was the perfect distraction. Her tendency to ramble and her energy were great for keeping his mind off of what was actually going on, and something that could actually ease the tension if she herself wasn’t tense.

Erica was levelheaded. She is a born leader, that’s something Jim is sure of. She can read a room just as well as Steve and Jim can, knowing what you need without saying a thing. She’d know when it was too much and he needed Dustin or when it wasn’t enough and he needed Robin. She’d also know when Steve needed a minute from all of them and just needed to collect himself.

It was 10:45 now, Joyce had called a few minutes ago and wished him good luck, telling him she’d be there as soon as she was done with work. 

Dustin and Erica got the day off of school, both being star students and with a simple explanation and a little smooth talking on Dustin’s end with the high school and Sue going into the Middle school to all but demand Erica get the day off, they were cleared to go, both them and Robin being dropped off by Eddie on his way to work, 

(Eddie had thought Jim wasn’t paying attention when he slipped the little carnation into Steve’s hand right before he left, and he wasn’t….. He definitely didn’t wonder where the tiny yellow flower came from)

So here they were, now 10:50, and the four were bickering over the proper way to crochet, Erica tossing grapes at Dustin’s forehead, Robin making an army of origami swans that she’s decided to set up all over the bed, Dustin bitching about how stupid the rules of crocheting is, and Steve opting out of crocheting five minutes in and is instead, pulling apart the knots from what was their attempt at macrame. 

“Erica Lianne Sinclair, Stop throwing grapes at my forehead-”

“Stop having a bigass forehead Dustin Andere Henderson, two can play the full name game-”

“Wait do you know my middle name?!?”

Rob, everyone knows your middle name-”

“Oh yeah? What is it than Mr. Know-it-all.”

“Evangeline. It’s Evangeline-”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT-”

“YOU TOLD ME?!?! BECAUSE WE’RE BOTH EVE’S?!?!”

“Oh that’s right, my bad Eve”

“I swear to god, you three are just trying to give me grey hairs-”

“We can’t give you what you aren’t going to have in T-minus one month Humpty Dumpty-”

Steve snorted hard enough that he coughed, Erica grinning in pride at the reaction as Dustin snagged the bag of grapes from her and ate two of them, offering one to Robin who had just finished off her fifteenth swan when there was a knock at the door, all four teens looking up with a jolt of surprise.

Jim put the paper down briefly checking his watch to find it was 11:02 as Erica and Dustin scampered off of the bed and collected some of the loose yarn to stuff in their bag that Steve had dubbed “ Dustin’s Marry Poppins bag” Robin kept her spot at the end of the bed. 

Steve fidgeted as a bright smiling girl with red-tipped hair came into the room with a cart,  

“Good afternoon! You must be Steve, My name is Eloise, I’ll be the one in charge of starting you up on this bad boy today.”

She seemed spritely for someone who was about to inject someone full of chemicals, but in retrospect, it was probably not that she wanted to, and was more something she did to try and ease her patients or even her own conscience about the pain they’d be in. 

Whatever it was, Robin had only eyes for her as she set up shop, explaining that she’d need to draw blood out of the port first and then they’d start the actual drug, Steve took one look at Robin and then at Eloise again and back to Robin with a sly smile, Robin quirking an eyebrow in confusion as he mouthed, 

“ Boobies” to her, Robin’s face going red as he mimed slicing his throat, Jim trying not to laugh at the antics he was watching instead of Eloise preparing to start up that god-awful treatment.

“Alright, Steve, a few questions before we start, first off, any aversions to needles?”

Steve and Robin snorted at this, before he did a so-so hand, Robin nocking his ankle with hers,

“Don’t lie to her Dingus, he is yeah. We had uh- a bad experience so not his favorite,”

“You’re the first to ask that though, you know from the beginning of this stuff, no one’s asked”

Eloise softened, a hand on her hip as she brushed her bang to the side, 

“Well, that’s shit. Sorry, you’ve had to go through that hon, this is hard enough as it is without the added discomfort. Alright, well I asked because I have your lovely friend here distract you while I draw blood and get you set up, sound good dear?”

Robin’s face was impossibly red as she nodded in response, Steve knocking her ankle to get her attention with another wicked grin that she playfully flicked his nose for.

“Alright then love, I’m gonna go ahead and draw the blood now,”

On instinct Steve turned around to watch her, Robin moving at lightning speed, leaning over taking his jaw in her hand and turning his head, 

“Hey, eyes on me thing one, she gave you one job, stare at me,”

“Actually she gave you one job and it was to distract me, and Thing one? That was distracting enough, why am I thing one?”

“I think that goes without saying Stevie-bee because your’s truly is thing two”

“Wait then who’s the cat in the hat?”

Robin smirked, nodding her head in Jim’s direction as Steve followed her gesture and snorted, his nose twitching at the action,

“No way in hell. Eds fits that title way better-”

“Oh yes, Eds, how can I forget-”

“I was going to say Jon was the fish asshole.”

That actually got Erica and Dustin cackling back on the couch.

“Alright dear, blood sample done now we can get started on the bag of fun here.”

Steve tensed, forcing himself to relax as he nodded in understanding, Robin reaching over and brushing his bang into a swoop over the bright yellow silk tie. 

“Alright then Steve, We’re also gonna get you set up on some nausea meds to try and beat the symptoms, ok?”

He hummed in acknowledgment, staring deep into Robin’s eyes, both of their hands clasps tightly as she stared back just as intensely. 

Jim had to hand it to her, she was a tough girl, sitting with a perfect view of what was going on and maintaining perfect eye contact with her friend, calm and unwavering.

“Alright dear, you ready to start?”

Steve sucked a breath in, his arms shaking slightly as he looked up at Jim, his eyes wide and searching for the answer, 

Searching for the out Jim couldn’t give

Before stealing himself and nodding, 

“Yeah, yeah I guess so”

Eloise nodded and pressed the dials, the machine starting to do what it needed to spill into Steve's bloodstream, and Jim felt a crash of intense emotion flood him as Steve let out a breath, allowing Robin to pull him down and rest their foreheads together, tears slipping past both of their eyes, 

“Breath Steve, the worst part is over now.” 

She whispered softly, his boy nodding against her head. 

As soon as Eloise left Dustin and Erica scrambled back up on the bed with Steve, flanking him from both sides as they burrowed into him Dustin sitting on his right and Erica on his left, making sure to be careful of the cords and tubes.

Jim sat heavily on the chair next to them, letting out a long hard sigh as he tried to even out his breathing, before a hand poked out out the pile of teens, held palm up and shaking slightly.

Jim didn’t think twice before grasping the hand tightly, rubbing the wrist with his thumb in small circles.

He felt the tears slip before he could fully stop them, uncaring at the moment as he relived one of the worst days of his life all over again, praying to a God he hadn’t spoken to since for a different ending than the last story.

True to her word, Joyce came after she finished work. 

In a way only she could, Joyce knew exactly what to do the minute she walked in the room, stopping first to check Steve over, her cold hands bringing slight relief to him as she cupped his face in her hands and kissed his cheek, praising him for doing well as she fussed over making sure he was comfortable before shooing Robin, Dustin, and Erica down to the cafeteria for a late lunch, providing Steve with a moment to actually sleep without feeling like he was being rude and dropping off while people were there.

The minute he slipped off Joyce was in Jim’s arms, her tiny body fitting in his like they were made to connect. Gentle kisses to his hands as she whispered soft assurances, giving him a shoulder to silently cry on, unaware of just how much he had been building up until he felt her head connect with his chest. 

Steve didn’t have an immediate reaction, besides being sluggish and having a harder time following a conversation, and he didn’t have any obvious signs of nausea aside from the usual until later in the night.

The night was rough, between vital checks and discomfort he didn’t sleep much at all, leaving him cranky and shaky the next morning. By Wednesday afternoon he had lost his battle with leaving it as just nausea. 

He had tried to keep a tamp on it, refusing to talk for most of the day, and swallowing down the feeling until it was too much, 

Jim walked back into his room from his turn to drop the kids off home to find Eddie and Steve in the bathroom, Steve crumbled over the toilet while Eddie held him upright and talked softly to him, resolutely looking at the far end of the wall to will his emotions to stay in a calm state.

Apparently, Steve had tried to make it to the bathroom the first go around and narrowly missed his bed, Eddie swooped in and held him until he had finished and then carefully took him to the bathroom so he could clean the mess, holding him through rounds two and three and they had been parked out there since, Steve sitting on Eddie’s lap in between throwing himself forward into the toilet, deliriously begging for it to stop. 

Initially, Jim had offered to switch out with Eddie, but the boy waved him off saying Steve was already comfortable on his lap so once they were sure he was in the clear for at least an hour or so he’d hang out in the bathroom with him, allowing Jim the time he needed to prepare for his round. 

He was actually going to have to think about eliminating the shovel talk at this point.

Jim stripped the sheets on Steve’s bed, some of what Eddie hadn’t caught still left behind as he tried to block out the sound of vomiting, somehow finding that Eddie’s steady voice was a comfort to him as well, 

“There you go dear, just like that, I know it sucks,”

“I- oh god I’m so sorry-”

“Sweetness it’s fine, I’ve had worse than vomit on me before, just breathe ok? Can you do that for me, Stevie?”

“I can’t- every time I try I just-”

“Nope, we aren’t using that word love, all it does is trigger you, lean back there you go peach, you’re ok,”

“Eds- everything hurts,”

“I know sweetness, another hour and you can have some medicine I promise. You’re doing amazing love, absolutely amazing”

Damnit it all to hell….

He really wanted to terrorize the Munson kid.

He remade the bed, checking over the quilt and the yellow blanket to make sure they had stayed out of the splash zone before vetoing them totally and putting them on the couch to keep them clean, after making sure the bed was ready he snuck back out and asked the nurse for some ice chips, knowing Steve was going to need water in some form and he was more or less going to deny drinking it in fear he’d vomit again. He got back in with the ice at the same time that Eddie was helping Steve out of the bathroom, all but carrying him back to bed, opting on doing just that and oh so carefully scooping him up and placing him on the bed with a soft whisper getting a crack of a smile out of his boy. The second he noticed Jim his eyes lit up, and despite himself, there was a small part of Jim that also lit up at the reaction as he stood by the bed holding out the cup of ice,

“Hey kid, want some ice?”

Steve gave it a hesitant look before accepting the cup with shaky hands that Jim had just noticed were far thinner than he was comfortable with for this early on in the process. 

Steve tiredly brought his legs as he curled into the pillows and carefully sucked on the ice, letting it rest on his lips for a little bit before popping it in his mouth, 

Eddie had turned the TV on at some point and both the boys were absentmindedly watching the rerun of Jeopardy as Jim ran a hand through Steve’s hair, feeling his body relax into the touch. 

“Missed all the fun,”

Steve teased with a shaky voice, Eddie chuckling at the comment before going to change into the spare clothes he had brought along, 

“Don’t worry kid, I’ll make up for it with all the other chances we get,”

“Whoopie”

Jim snorted, taking the cup from Steve and halfway pleased that he had at least swallowed three larger chips before dropping off, 

“Get some sleep brat, you’re going to need it.”

Steve hummed in agreement, blindly feeling the bed for Marty before dropping off instantly. Jim sighed, gently moving his legs so they were bent up and pulling the blanket over him, taking a good hard look at him.

Steve was wearing a Radiohead t-shirt that must have been Jonathan’s at one point and a pair of blue joggers his arms and legs on display, he had gotten skinnier, his one packed on muscle no longer there, leaving for a thinner, gangly-looking version of him. He had opted out of wearing a headscarf today, probably too tired to put one on so the scare was on display. 

He looked smaller, younger too than Jim had realized and a small part of his heart lept into his throat at the sight of him,

“Hey Chief, I hate doing this, but I promised Wayne I’d get the groceries for the week on my way home and I have a shift in like, two hours so I’m gonna have to bail,”

Jim snorted softly, looking up at Eddie who was glancing between Steve and Jim with a guilty look,

“You’re good kid, thanks for holding up as you did, I know it wasn’t easy”

Eddie smiled softly, shaking his head, 

“Nah man, it wasn’t a problem. It’s what he’d do for any of us,”

“ I wanted to, be there for him that is,” went unsaid but Jim saw it in his eyes, the same way Joyce looked at him whenever he was having a hard time accepting help.

“Glad you were there for him Eddie”

Eddie blinked, a small blush creeping on his face as he hid it with his hair, 

“Not a problem Hop, I’ll be on my way now though,”

He stepped forward and ran a hand through Steve’s hair, 

“Sleep well sweetheart, I’ll see you Friday Evening, alright?”

He looked back up at Jim with a nod before leaving, his dirty clothes in a plastic bag. 

Jim settled in the chair, leaning back and allowing himself to sleep, knowing he and Steve were in for a long night, smiling despite himself at the sight of the little pink carnation that sat opposite, the yellow one in the cup of water on the bedside stand.

Chapter Text

Jim wasn’t off on his prediction, Steve had a total of four hours of sleep and it was in spurts, leaving him wiped out the rest of the following day. He tried to be more aware when the kids stopped in, dozing off every few minutes only to shake himself awake, and ask them to repeat themselves. It was Jonathan’s turn with the kids, Eddie and Robin both working that day.

He had made himself at home sitting with Steve, shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee with him, answering the kid's questions whenever Steve spaced out or repeating stuff to Steve whenever he got lost and couldn’t follow the conversation. The two looked like twins, Jonathan predicting his every move with ease as Steve watched Jonathan closely for answers or stability. 

The two had their differences in the beginning, between Nancy and the photos and Steve running his mouth they got off on the wrong foot, but after their second go around with the upside down they buried the hatchet and moved forward with a  clean slate.

Jim remembers finding them in a similar position the night after they closed the gate, the kids regaling Jonathan on what happened in the tunnels (thinking Jim wasn’t listening) and Jonathan listening with a quirked eyebrow, Will on one side and Steve on the other, both leaning into him for support. 

From that day on they had become an odd duo, he doesn’t know what happened while he was in Russia, but he does know that they obviously weren’t physically close with Jon in Cali and Steve in Hawkins, but when they were unpacking and Jim had helped Will take a box of his bedroom stuff into the new room he walked past Jonathan’s room, the oldest Byers sitting on the ground with a box in his lap and letters everywhere, music playing from his stereo as he re-read the notes with a fond smile. (and sure, some of them were from Nancy, he learned that later on, but the majority of them were signed “ your favorite idiot, S.H.” something he also found out when he went in to get Jon for dinner,)

After the fourth fight with the upside down, Steve and Jonathan were the two to pick up the pieces until Jim and Joyce got home. The two worked in tandem to try and keep it together. It was Jonathan who all but threw Steve’s feverish body into his car and sped to the hospital, furious with Nancy and even Robin for not telling him that Steve was injured, and after an hour-long lecture about how he needed to pay more attention to his own care and Steve breaking down and confessing that he was so scared about everyone else and Eddie and Max that he felt like he was the least of importance, Jonathan sighed, backhanded him in the head and helped him focus on himself.

Needless to say, the two had an odd relationship, not like Robin and Steve’s soul-bonded relationship, but more something like El and Will’s twin relationship. 

Jim thought it was fitting, they were definitely a lot like Will and El, Jonathan was violently protective of the people he loved like El, and Steve loved with abandon like Will,  Jonathan was also intuitive and quick like Will and Steve was quirky and curious like El. 

In another world, it wouldn’t surprise him to hear they were actually all blood-related siblings.

“Alright, seriously Mike quit complaining about it, if you had studied you would have gotten a better grade,”

“Mike got a bad grade?”

“Yeah bud, biology test, he got a C, remember?”

“Oh…. yeah. It’s ok Mike I got bad grades,”

Dustin snorted, shoulder nudging Mike who groned, in frustration,

“I know Steve, you told me that already three times, and it doesn’t make me feel any better about it.”

Erica clapped him in the back of the head, Dustin full-on cackling now as Will giggled from his spot on the couch, him, El, and Max all working on schoolwork, while Mike was laying flat on his stomach stretched out across the foot of Steve’s bed, Erica and Dustin sitting cross-legged beside him, Lucas snorted at the exchange, not bothering to correct his sister as he dug through Dustin’s Mary Poppin’s bag until he found what he was looking for, 

“We can watch E.T, The Shining, or Gremlins,”

“Haven’t read the Shining yet-”

“Ok that one’s out then, Jon any suggestions?”

“Haven’t seen E.T in like ages,”

Lucas smirked, nodding as he put the other two movies back in the bag, the three working on school stopping and packing up their stuff while Erica jumped off the bed to go put the movie in, Dustin already up and turning the lights off,

Jonathan rubbed Steve’s knee as he mouthed thank you to Lucas, the boy nodding in understanding as he settled on the couch, Max snuggling into his side as El and Will all but sat on each other to make room for Dustin to squish in, pulling them both into a bear hug as he threw a leg over Luca’s knees.

Erica settled back on the bed next to Mike, laying on her stomach and kicking her feet into the air as the movie started, Mike shuffling to match her position, still mumbling about his grade but smiling. 

It took a matter of minutes for Steve to drop off, Jonathan leaning back into the pillows with ease as Jim watched them with a bubbling warmth in his chest. 

Jon knew when Steve would continue to push if it was for the benefit of others, and he also knew how to put him first without the self-sacrificial teen even knowing.

Turns out Lucas was also good at this.

They were halfway through the movie when Steve jolted awake, Jonathan didn’t waste a second, heaving him off the bed and carrying him to the bathroom, closing the door behind them with his foot, only reappearing to snatch a cup of water that Erica poured in their absence,

Around ten minutes later Jonathan helped him back into bed, resuming their position and snatching the yellow blanket that Mike offered him without looking away from the screen, wrapping Steve’s shoulders with it as he pulled him back down to lay on his shoulder, Steve whispering apologies that Jonathan brushed off with ease. 

They worked like a well-oiled machine, everyone knowing what was needed without saying a word. 

Jim admired them all for it. He knew that Steve had a support system to be envied by many, but every time he saw them in action it took his breath away, thankful that the boy did have the family and knowing that if this had happened in ‘82 he would have had no one.

“Jim. has he eaten anything?”

Jonathan whispered over the sleeping boy's head, worry clear in his eyes, and honestly wasn’t that the million dollar question.

Before the treatment had started Steve was already losing weight, and with the past two days of almost constant nausea and vomiting he barely kept broth down.

“He’s barely keeping the broth down.”

Jonathan tisked, rubbing Steve’s shoulder as he leaned his cheek into his head carefully, readjusting the grey and blue silk so that it wasn’t pushed back so far. 

“That’s going to become a problem, isn’t it.”

There was always a finality in Jonathan’s questions, the boy somehow knowing the answer every time and yet still asking to reassure himself that he’d come to the right conclusion. 

“It can become one, yeah.”

They lapsed into silence, the kids making off comments about E.T and how they would deal with this if they were in Elliot's shoes, Jonathan searching the bed until he found the copy of The Shining, flipping a few pages ahead before he picked up where he had left off, reading instead of watching the movie.

The older three had gifted him with a copy of The Shining, Christine, and The Eyes of the Dragon as their contribution to the “beat cancer’s ass” party almost a month ago. Jonathan decided to read ahead so he could read them aloud to Steve, saying that if he read ahead it was easier to read without stumbling and while Jim was sure that was part of the truth, he thinks the other part is that Jonathan is just as big a fan for Stephen King as Steve is,

(he wouldn’t be surprised to find out it was Jonathan that got him into the writer)

“I’m awake you know, you can rest. He’s fine, I’ll be here if something happens,”

Jim smiled at Joyce’s oldest, the boy not even looking up from his book as he talked to Jim in the same matter-of-fact tone that Joyce did, leaving no room for argument while also giving you an option. Whoever Jonathan ended up with, Nancy Wheeler or someone else, they had a whole lot coming for them that they weren’t aware of. 

“Wake me up when the Doctor gets here, kid.”

Jonathan nodded once, flipping the page and shuffling to get more comfortable, crossing his ankles and letting his foot bounce.

“It’s supposed to be a distraction,”

“Well color distracted. Or confused. Or both I guess,”

Steve and Robin had been passing the rubrics cube back and forth for the past two hours, both bearing the same scrunched-up expression as Eddie came tumbling into the room waving his arms around with excitement, paper flipping around in his hold,

“I have the best idea, you three blind mice, this is going to be epic,”

“Well, that’s a new one,”

Jonathan mumbled, standing from the chair and stretching, putting his papers for college to the side as both Robin and Steve leveled him with a glare, 

“This better be good Munson we were so damn close to cracking this,”

“I’m pretty sure you weren’t sweetcheeks but you’ll get there don’t worry I have faith in you,”

He teased patting Steve’s cheek for emphasis, before going to do the same to Robin and getting his hand slapped in return. 

“Ah! She’s a feisty one, I’ll say that. Now! For my most exciting news. The Kids are going door hopping tonight correct?”

“Oh shit, it’s Halloween!”

“Ah yes, Halloween, my least favorite holiday,”

Eddie gasped, clutching his chest dramatically,

“For the simple and unfortunate fact that you are currently waging a war against your cranium I will let that comment slide, but yes. Tonight is All Hallows Eve-”

“Can you be normal for like, one minute Munson-”

“.... you I give no excuse Buckley, you’re on thin ice. Don’t interrupt the monologue, kapeesh? Alright, where was I, ah! Right, tonight is All Hallows Eve, and in celebration, I am running the spookiest one shot known to the mortal soul. We were going to do this at my trailer but here me out; what if we did it here?!?”

Steve quirked an eyebrow, amusement clear in his eyes as he leaned back into the bed and crossed his arms,

“Eds, I’d love nothing less but you know that it’s no more than one after visiting hours are up.”

“au contraire, my sweetest prince, for I have sought permission from the good ol’ Doctor, and with a vow to keep the noise at a minimum past 7 I have gotten the signature of approval,”

“Really?” 

Steve lit up, excitement causing him to look more alive than he had in the past few days at the idea of having a sleepover. Eddie chuckled with a nodded and in a swift movement was met with an armful of vibrating Steve, the soft giggles of excitement spilling out of him as he squeezed Eddie.

“I- you have no idea how excited I am,”

“Oh, I think I may have an inkling sweetheart,”

“Eew get a room,”

Robin gagged Jonathan backhanding her with a grin as Eddie carefully sat Steve back on the side of the bed, patting his head good-naturedly before flipping Robin off, 

“Well technically Robs, I already did get a room, you’re the one that invited yourself in.”

Steve quipped with ease as he pulled himself up slightly more, one leg dangling off the bed as he folded the other on and faced Robin,

“Oh, you asshat-”

Jonathan chuckled at the sight of the two of them playfully slapping each other before a knock at the door got his attention, an odd cold chill running down his spine that he only ever felt when Lonnie was present. 

He looked up at Eddie, apparently, his friend having the same reaction judging this expression. 

Jonathan bit his lip as he waved Eddie to go stand in corner of the room furthest from the sight of the doorway, knowing that most of the town still looked at him like a murderer. 

Robin and Steve froze, both wearing a similar face of confusion before Steve's morphed into the same chilled look that Jonathan has seen on Will.

Jonathan patted Robin’s shoulder and gently pinched Steve’s nose with a smile, 

“I got it, ok?”

Steve cracked a smile at the gesture as Jonathan went to answer the door, cracking it open enough that he could see who was there, 

“Hello?”

“Let us in, we’re here to see Steven,”

Jonathan bristled at the clipped tone of the woman who was undoubtedly Regina Harrington, her poised and brisk posture making his back ache more than it usually does, John standing at her side with the same cold look in his eyes,

“I’m sorry who are you?”

“It hardly matters to you, but we are his parents and we need to speak with him.”

Yeah no, not on his watch, 

“ Steve is sleeping right now, can you just tell me what you need to say and-”

“That hardly matters, he will wake up to speak with us,”

John snapped coldly, shoving the door open, clipping him in the jaw as it swung open and making him snap his mouth shut, biting down on his tongue as he hit the wall, his back lighting up in a hot white pain.

“That hardly looks like sleeping to me, Steven.”

“I-”

“Honestly, I don’t want to hear your nonsense excuses. Tell your friends they need to leave, we need to have a talk,”

“Hell fucking no-”

“There’s no way in hell I’m leaving him with you two assholes-”

Regina scoffed at both of them as John stood straighter and Steve flinched into Robin instinctively trying to get out of their line of fire and that was all it took for Jonathan to see red. 

He didn’t think twice before grabbing both John and Regina by their arms and pulling hard making them stumble backward, 

“Get your hands off me, you filthy boy-”

“You both have three seconds to leave before I call a nurse to get security, and then call the Chief, do you understand?”

His back was screaming at him as he squared up, almost six inches shorter than John but filled with three times more rage than the man could ever imagine being. 

“So you got a guard dog to do your dirty work Steven, mm? Someone, to stand up to us because you can’t?”

“Yes, I see you’ve decided your part of the queers and freaks crowd now, how disappointing,”

Jonathan didn’t process his hand moving on its own accord, and by the time he did his hand was stinging with the residue pain of slapping someone, finding that he had slapped them both hard in the face,

“I will have no problem leveling you both out on the ground right here right now if you don’t remove your pathetic corpses from this room,”

He growled his voice unfamiliar to his own ears as the blood rushed in his hearing. 

John straighten his back and took Regina by the arm, looking past Jonathan and directly at Steve who hadn’t moved a muscle since he pulled back, 

“We’ve cut you off. Your trust fund is all you have left, we don’t want to see you anytime soon, and don’t expect us to call or make any visits, since you’ve decided we aren’t your parents anymore.”

And with that he pulled his wife out of the room, spitting at Jonathan’s feet and sending an evil sneer at Eddie before walking out.

Jonathan didn’t waste a second spinning on his heel and all but running to Steve scooping him up into his chest and holding him close, collapsing into the bed with a muffled cry, every nerve on fire. 

Steve was hyperventilating in his arms, whispering over and over “ what did I do?” as Jonathan shushed him, tears prickling in his eyes as he looked up at their friends, Robin now on her feet next to Eddie,

“Rob, go get a nurse, now, please. Eddie, I need you to walk. Pace the room go stand in the bathroom do something but I need you to think clearly before you do something stupid-”

Eddie looked murderous, a rage deep in his normally sweet eyes as he moved to the door, 

“I’m going to kill them I swear to god-”

“Rob! Change of plans, you need to get Ed out of here, I don’t give a shit where you take him but he needs to go now,” 

Robin nodded taking him by the arm and pulling him down the hall to find a nurse talking to him the whole way out. 

The second they were out the door Steve let out a strangled cry, holding onto Jonathan with a tight grasp as he broke down in his arms. 

“I don’t know what I did- what- what did I do? Jonathan, what did I do? ”

Jonathan couldn’t answer him, tears spilling as his throat closed up, slowly shifting so they were both laying on their sides, Jonathan caressing Steve’s hair as he pressed a kiss to his forehead, 

“I’m sorry Steve, I’m so so sorry.”

Steve heaved another sob clenching up as he tried to push himself upright on his shaking arms, Jonathan swinging back up and holding him by the waist as he snatched the bin from the bedside table and put it on Steve’s lap, pressing his face in Steve’s shoulderblades as he cried and threw up, rubbing his back with his free hand, 

“Steve you gotta breathe, please, take a breath”

He softly pleaded as Steve struggled to control his crying, Jonathan moving the bin to the side as he pulled him close again, shaking in pain and as the adrenaline died off. 

Steve tried to control his breathing, shaking his head in frustration at the inability to as Jonathan took one of his hands and splayed it out on his chest, 

“It’s alright Steve, here, try and match my breathing ok? Let’s try that instead,”

It took a couple of minutes before he had steadied his breathing to dry sobs, collapsing into Jonathan’s embrace as he laid back again, careful to not hit the bin with his foot as he pulled Steve’s legs up and wrapped a leg over them to keep them up. 

“There you go, good. You did good Steve, it’s alright I’m-

“Jonathan, it hurts, so bad… I don’t know why it hurts so bad-”

“Oh, buddy…. I know it does. Trust me, I know”

Steve went limp in his hold, his hand still on Jonathan’s chest as he exhaled a shaky breath,

“I just wish they loved me,”

He whispered, shattering Jonathan’s already wrenching heart. 

The event zapped what little energy he had left out of him, leaving him motionless when the nurse came running in, Robin and Eddie hot on her heels. She didn’t mention Jonathan’s hold on him, simply took his vitals and asked Jonathan to recount what happened and if he’d give a detailed report to the police, to which he happily agreed. 

Eddie snatched the bin at the foot of the bed and stormed into the bathroom to clean it out, Robin fluttering between the bathroom and back out to the bed until the Nurse left, amping Steve's pain and nausea meds before she did. The minute she left Jonathan scooched to the far end of the bed, patting it for Robin to join, the girl nodding and climbing on and scooping Steve into her embrace, whispering softly to him as she held him close. 

When Eddie reemerged from the bathroom his eyes were red-rimmed and he had a schooled neutral look, carefully placing the bin back on the table before Jonathan slipped out of the bed and pushed Eddie to join the pile.

“I need to call Dad,”

It was a slip of the tongue, something he had actually never done before, and it caught both him and Eddie off guard, but the metalhead didn’t mention it, simply nodding and patting Jonathan’s shoulder before toeing off his boots and climbing on the bed to hold Steve from behind, 

“Jon do you need a doctor?”

He looked back at Eddie, who although his back was to him, had turned his head around to watch him with a close eye, knowing about his chronic back injury and obviously remembering what had happened before, 

“I think I’m ok-”

“Jon, hate to argue but you got the wind knocked out of you, were thrown into a wall and you’ve got a huge purple bruise forming on your chin from the door.”

Shit…. He hadn’t realized that it was that bad but as soon as Eddie said something he felt everything in tenfold, crashing into the seat with a soft yelp, 

“I- I’ll wait, I need to-”

“I know man, that’s fine, call him, just… you’re seeing a doctor or nurse after kay?”

Whoever thought Eddie Munson was a sacrificing satanist murderer was out of their damn mind.

“Thanks, Eds, I will.”

He sat for a minute to collect himself before picking up the phone and dialing the station’s number with a shaking hand, 

“ Hawkins PD-”

“Flo? It’s Jonathan Byers. Is Cheif Hopper in?”

Chapter Text

“Jim I’ve got Jonathan Byers on the line, he said he needs to speak with you, now.”

Jim didn’t waste a second patching the call through, his heart pounding in his throat,

“Jonathan? Kid, what’s going on?”

“ Dad- Hop it’s bad I don’t even know what to do-”

Jim felt like he was going to throw up, he jumped out of his seat going to grab his coat, 

“Jonathan! I need you to tell me what’s going on son, please try and-”

“ His parents showed up”

Jim has no idea what he said next, he has no clue what he said to Flo on the way out or how many traffic laws he broke, all he knows is the world was painted in a red glow as fury burned in his veins.

“Byers Home, Joyce speaking-”

“ Mom, I- I need you to get here now.”

Joyce felt her heart lurch into her throat as she dropped the glass she was drying when she had answered the phone,

“Jonathan, what’s going on, is Steve ok-”

“ No…. no he’s really not ok Mom, his parents showed up and-”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes honey where’s Jim-”

“ He’s coming, I called him already well I call the station-”

“Good. good, alright baby hold on, I’ll be there as soon as I can, alright? As soon as I can.”

The drive there is a blur. Joyce knows she almost hit a dog and ran every red light but she can’t think straight, the rage building the longer she’s away from her boys, blood rushing in her ears as she throws her car into park and runs into the hospital, pushing people out of her way and weaving through the crowds to get to the elevator, punching in the number of the floor by memory and feeling like she’s going to scream at how slow it’s going. 

She feels like she could kill something with her bare hands.

The door opens and she comes face to face with Angie, a nurse she had gotten to know fairly well in the past three days, 

“Joyce? Are you alright dear?”

Joyce can’t speak, she knows it will come out in swears and screams in the state she’s in so all she does is shake her head and tunnel past the sweet nurse, booking it down the hall until she gets to the room she’s mapped out in her mind, throwing the door open.

Her heart breaks the minute the door is opened, and she feels her whole world stop.

Eddie and Robin are at the window, Robin has an arm wrapped around his waist and arms as if holding him in place, and Eddie is shaking from head to toe, resolutely looking out the window.

Her boys.

Her sweet boys.

Jonathan has Steve tucked into him, holding him so close they were practically one. Steve is shaking uncontrollably, holding onto Jonathan like a lifeline as Jonathan strokes his head and sings softly to him. The sound of her entering must have gotten their attention, or at least Jonathans because he looked up at her and,

Joyce Byers was going to kill someone with her bare hands.

“Oh, my sweet boys,”

She ran over to them, skidding to a halt and crawling on the bed to pull them both into her arms, Steve instantly switching from Jonathan to her, clinging on as a desperate sob ripped out of him. Jonathan latched to her other side, inhaling deeply at her side as he let out a shuddering breath.

Joyce shushed them sweetly, rocking back and forth to try and bring a sense of comfort when she heard footsteps thunder down the hall to them, the door already opened for Jim.

All the anger that had been coursing through him dissipated the instant he saw his people huddle in a bunch on the bed. In three long strides, he was at their side, laying a hand on Steve’s back and the boy instantly flinched back at the touch, sitting up ramrod straight, whipping his head around to look at Jim with wild bloodshot eyes, and Jim’s heart shattered, 

All the fear flooded out of Steve in an instant and he was crashing into Jim, his head connecting hard with his chest as he wrapped his arms around the man.

“You’re alright bud, I got you. I’m here now”

He whispered softly, holding him close as he sat on the edge of the bed, adrenaline bleeding out of him now that his boy was in his arms,

“Jon, what happened? Who did this to you?”

Jim looked over at Joyce and Jonathan, a flash of rage jumping in his core at the bruise on the boy's jaw and the way he winced at his mother’s touch, 

“The fucking Harringtons that’s who, those two shit no good assholes threw the door open and fuckin’ smashed Jon’s face in with the side, sending him flying into the wall.” 

Eddie seethed, and now that he was facing them Jim could see that every inch of him was shaking in rage, his eyes sharp and deadly as Robin held his arm, her face portraying the same intense hatred,

“Mrs. Byers Jon hurt his back, bad. He wouldn’t see anyone until you got here-”

“I had to make sure he was safe Mom-”

Joyce hushed Jonathan softly, brushing his long bang out of his eye and cupping his cheek, her eyes spilling over with tears, 

“I know baby, you did good. But we need to go get it checked now ok? Jim’s got him, he’s safe”

Jonathan let go of a shuddering breath as he nodded in agreement, allowing Joyce to help him stand, Robin at his other side in an instant,

“I’ll come with you guys, Ed can fill Hopper in on what happened,”

Jonathan nodded in agreement as he took Robin’s arm, biting back a scream as he moved forward, shuffling to follow her out the door, 

Joyce gently stroked Steve’s head and leaned forward to whisper to him, 

“Honey I’ve got to go get Jonathan checked out but we’ll be right back, ok?”

Steve didn’t answer her, the harsh crying petering out into soft sobs as Jim continued to hold him close, nodding at Joyce as she kissed his cheek before following Robin and Jonathan out.

Eddie was more than happy to fill Jim in on every little detail of the ordeal, his nails biting into his palms so hard that he drew blood before taking a breath and telling Jim he needed to call Wayne, Jim sending him out with a soft thanks.

Steve had finally stopped crying by the time Eddie left, and was laying limp against Jim’s chest, completely out of energy and raw.

There were no words to fix this.

There was nothing he could do to take away the pain or fix the heartbreak.

His mind was whirring, racing with thoughts as he felt Steve tense against him, far too exhausted to even entertain the thought of fighting off the seizure.

He was going to kill the Harringtons. 

He wanted nothing more than to kill them in the slowest way possible.

“You’re ok bud, I’ve got you, yeah? Just breathe nice and slow, just like that, good job bud,”

By the time Joyce got back with Jonathan and Robin, Steve had already had two seizures and threw up again, and was now knocked out cold against Jim’s chest, Eddie sitting on the bed next to him on the phone, twisting and untwisting the cord, 

“Listen, man, I know you guys were really excited about it but… it’s been a really bad day Henderson. A really bad day…. He’s not even awake right now kid… Hender- kid- Dustin listen to me. He’s probably going to be out of it for the rest of the day…..” 

He lowered the phone to his chest looking at Joyce and then Jim, 

“Kids still want to come over, do you think it’s smart?”

“I think he’d be devastated if they didn’t come if I’m being honest.”

“Absolutely, he needs his family right now.”

Eddie cracked the first smile they had seen that afternoon before going back to his call,

“I’ll be there in 25, make sure all you knuckleheads are ready and at Max’s trailer, got it? Awesome, see you punk.”

Eddie hung up and wiped a hand down his face, standing up and doing a whole body shake before looking at Jonathan, 

“You good man?”

“Not really, in a brace for the next four weeks but I’ll be fine.” 

Joyce bristled, a cold rage sparking in her eyes, 

“Not as far as they’re going to know.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow in confusion, Jim nodding for her to continue as he stretched out his legs on the bed, his ankle throbbing from the running.

“It's simple really, they’re going to prison for harassment. Jon’s face and back are proof enough but the whole hall saw them leave and everyone, I mean every single nurse, heard Steve crying.”

Robin nodded in agreement, rambling as she stooped to get Eddie’s boots from under the bed, 

“We had like fifteen nurses stop us and ask what was going on. And before you guys got here there were like I don’t know how many that stopped in to see if everything was ok, there was even this little old nurse that said she was calling the cops when she heard about the whole throwing the door open thing, right after it all when me and Ed went to get a nurse to help Steve and she gave him something to relax, I think it helped a little.”

Jim was going to gift that nurse and every single nurse here with something.

“Listen for as much as I want to stand here and plot how we can kill those sick sons of a bitch I gotta go get the gremlins,  Robbie you coming?”

Robin nodded, taking one more glance at Steve before sighing and moving to leave, stopping and looking between Joyce and Jim,

“They said they cut him off, completely. They were leaving his trust fund alone but they didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore and said he decided they weren’t his parents anymore. I- I have no idea what that means, or if it’s helpful, but I think you should know that.”

Eddie took her by the elbow gently nodding towards the door, 

“I told chief already Robs, but thanks for filling them in again. We’ll be back in an hour,”

He called over his shoulder as they walked out leaving four of the six Byers-Hopper family to themselves.

“What the hell was that suppose to mean-”

“Jim. do you remember when he woke up after the tumor removal and he called me Mom? He called you Dad too.”

God, he loved this smart amazing woman so much,

“You don’t think-”

“No no, I know. That’s what they were angling at, I don’t believe it-”

Joyce cut herself off as her jaw locked, carefully guiding Jonathan to sit on the chair and brushing his bang again, before stealing herself and facing Jim with a look of resolution, 

“Well, that’s fine. Two can play this game, well four I guess,”

“Joyce I’m not sure I follow-”

“We’re his parents now.”

Jim raised an eyebrow Jonathan doing the same thing from behind her as he tapped her ankle with his foot, 

“Mom, you can’t just- I mean sure Steve sees you guys as his parents but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s still a Harrington,”

Joyce smiled something wicked, patting Jonathan’s leg before looking back at Jim, 

“It really does pay to be friends with the government and have a little bit of blackmail, doesn’t it.”

God, he adored this crazy, fantastic woman with his  entire soul,

“I’ll call Owens and see what we can have done-”

“No, no dear, you stay here with the boys. I’ll call Owens.”

There were things you learn in life, that aren’t worth putting up a fight with.

And one thing Jim Hopper had learned very early on in his teenage years was that once did not simply fight Joyce on anything and win. 

You never win.

“Don’t threaten him too much Joy, try and go easy on him yeah?”

She nodded, planting a kiss on his cheek before kissing Jonathan’s cheek and telling him that she’d go down to the house and do it, knowing that their phones weren’t bugged. 

Angie brought Jonathan painkillers a little later on, fussing over him and telling him she thought he was an amazing big brother, Jonathan sputtering that they were almost the same age. Angie laughed and pinched his ear,

“Age isn’t always what makes you a big brother deary,”

Once the pills kicked in Jonathan found it hard to stay awake, after the emotional rollercoaster and pain having zapped him of his remaining energy, and soon Jim was sitting with two sleeping teens, and a phone.

He wasted no time calling Powell and having him find the Harringtons on a charge of assault to a minor. 

And verbal assault of several people.

He was just hoping they hadn’t skipped town yet. And if they had, he’d be waiting for them when they returned. 

True to his word, Eddie showed up with the kids and Robin an hour later, all of them scrambling in the room in a panic, arms full of sleepover supplies.

Will and El wasted no time gunning it for Jonathan, both carefully joining him on the chair and hugging him, spooking him out of his sleep enough to hug them both back and assure them he’d be ok. Dustin and Max also made a beeline for Steve, fury clear in their eyes as they checked him over, Dustin taking his hand and patting it softly as Max leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

They had planned on showing him their costumes, they were going to do a whole ordeal that went under the bus the minute Eddie called them. 

After all of them personally checked Steve they felt a little more at ease. Eddie convinced them to help him set up shop on the far end of the room, spreading sleeping bags out and napping extra pillows and sheets to add on before setting up the game.

El thought it would be funny to bring along her sheet ghost costume from ‘84, saying that if someone died in the game they had to wear it for the remainder of the night, which lead to Dustin saying more than one person could potentially die, and lead to them actually bringing a sheet for each player. 

El self-sabotaged so she could wear the sheet thirty minutes into the game.

They were an hour into the game when Joyce came back with a huge grin on her face and a manic look in her eye, and for a second, Jim could breathe a little better.

Legal documents were hard to switch over, but with the right amount of persuasion on Owen’s end, it could be done. 

They’d have them done by mid-November, and while Steve was already a legal adult and they didn’t have much of a say on things as much as they could have when he was younger, the knowledge that they would be the ones down as next of kin put them at ease.

It was close to 9 when Steve woke up again, groggy and displaced and an odd feeling lodged deep in him and he felt like he was possibly laying on someone but he couldn't really tell.

There was a soft talking in the room, he could hear Eddie’s voice and a few other hushed tones that he could remember but not fully tell, slowly he opened his eyes to try and assess his surroundings only to find himself face to face with a sheet ghost,

“Boo.”

He twitched, his mind sparking to life as he realized the bright excited eyes under the sheet were El’s and he couldn’t help but giggle, reaching out and pinching where he knew her nose was,

“Consider my timbers shivered,”

He whispered, not sure why his throat felt so raw. The person under him shifted and he tried to force himself to sit up fully only to feel himself being moved by an invisible hand into a sitting position, propping him up on the pillows, 

“Thanks, bug,”

El the sheet ghost nodded as she invited herself up onto the bed and snuggled into him still in her sheet.

Steve blinked slowly, looking around the room at the inhabitants. Eddie was perched on the couch like a gargoyle, arms moving dramatically as he lead the campaign, several other sheet ghosts, Erica, and Mike all bickering about their next move while Robin lay sprawled out next to Eddie on the couch, idly reading The Shining. Jonathan and Joyce were sitting in the armchair, Jonathan sleeping on her shoulder as she flipped through a magazine and one look at Jonathan’s purple jaw brought everything back in an instant,

He was officially homeless.

Disowned and on his own. 

His parents didn’t want him anymore. They never did, but they had made it abundantly clear that they never wanted to see him again.

What was he going to do? What had he done to put himself in this spot? 

Where was Hop-

“Hey, kid, it’s alright, you’re fine”

Well, that answered both the question of where was Hop and who was behind him. He shook his head, a familiar panic crawling up his throat as his eyes began to sting and his body shook, they didn’t want him. No one wanted him, what did he do? He couldn’t remember saying anything to them, he had made sure the house was clean before all of this began hadn’t he? Did he forget something important? What did he do-

“-eve! Steve, you’re hyperventilating. I need you to try and calm down ok? Can you do that for me kid?”

He really didn’t think he could, he felt like he was dying in slow motion and he couldn’t figure out how to stop it. 

“El honey, go sit with Joyce, Steve I’m going to touch you alright?”

“ Please, hold me, hold me, hold me-”

He blindly reached out, desperate for something to ground him as he felt like his body was tearing him a new one, and all at once, he was enveloped in the comfort of flannel and the smell of smoke and aftershave.

Home, Safe, his mind supplied as his brain shut down, he could hear the commotion in the room, someone mentioned a doctor and someone else said medicine but he couldn’t answer them, his focus solely on breathing in the feeling of comfort.

“Good job kid, you’re doing great. Tap my arm when you’re feeling more stable ok? All of you need to sit, down. The noise is not helping him.”

It got quiet suddenly and it was odd, someone knowing what he needed and acting on it without him asking. The silence made it easier to focus.

To breathe.

The horrible feeling was still fresh in his mind of being disowned but it felt a little less daunting while being held by someone like Jim.

 Someone who he knew could fix anything.

It was probably unhealthy to put that much weight on one person but he didn’t mean to do it, he just knew that regardless of the issue Jim was the one to go to, the one who could make it right.

He tapped on Jim’s strong arm, almost feeling like he was soaking up some of the strength that poured off of the man he wished, longed to call his Dad. 

“Hey kid, you better?”

Steve nodded once as he pulled back eyes trained on Jim’s broad chest. 

“Thank you,”

He whispered, unsure the gravity of his thanks could ever truly be understood.

Jim just sighed, leaning down and pressing a kiss into his forehead like he would El and for a second, sitting there with his eyes closed he imagined that he was born Steve Hopper, the son of the most amazing man he’d ever known to walk the earth. 

“Everything’s going to be ok kid, I promise.”

And he believe him, he truly did. Something about the way that he said it, the way that Jim Hopper has never once backed down or out of a promise made him believe it.

“I trust you,”

Jim smiled at him, his boy in everything but blood. He gently pinched his nose playfully and relished the crack of a smile he got in return, and for a moment he was Steve Hopper, Jim’s spitfire of a son that makes him burst with pride and happiness.

“You want some water kid?”

Steve blinked, tipping his head to the side before nodding cautiously, twisting so he wasn’t sitting at an angle anymore, and was almost immediately met with seven teens all asking if he was alright or not,

Jim chuckled softly as he handed Steve the cup of water with a straw before easing himself off the bed and stretching. Sitting in the same position for over five hours at his age did wonders for his back,

(a little voice in the back of his head made him feel pity for Jonathan once he reached forty,)

“Joy I’m gonna call the station, see if they have anything,”

Joyce nodded from her perch with Jonathan, the boy still out cold as the teens all squirmed up on the bed with Steve, spreading out in different corners but still close enough to touch him.

Jim chuckled at the scene, eyes finding Robin and Eddie still on the couch watching it all go down with a similar look of fond amusement. Before stepping out into the hall,

“ They jumped town Cheif, called the secretary and she said that they may be going to their home in Venice, but she won’t know until they tell her.”

Jim wanted to break something, settling for pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing in slowly,

“Thanks, Phil, keep me posted.”

“ Will do Cheif, oh and Cheif? Send our regards to the kid, and Jonathan.”

Phil Callaghan could be a pain in the ass in a half, but he was still a good man.

“I will. Goodnight Phil.”

He sighed, hanging up the phone and scrubbing a hand down his face. He could worry about arresting John and Regina later. They had taken enough of this day.

He went back into the room, finding it dark with the exception of the glow from the television set.

The kids were all sprawled out on their collection of sleeping bags, Dustin, Max, and the Sinclairs all piled on each other and Mike sandwiched between El and Will, Eddie and Robin were on the couch, the seat swapped into a bed and the two of them flanking Jonathan who was mostly awake and laying with a pillow pushing him into a half-sitting position. Joyce was nestled on Steve’s right, gently stroking his hair as they both watched the movie of choice, and the moment his eyes met with Steve’s the teen’s eyes lit up and he patted his left side, Jim smiling as he joined him, making a show of grunts and annoyance as he did to pull a laugh out of the boy.

Steve rested his head on his shoulder with a sigh, threading his hand with Joyce’s empty hand, 

“I saved the spot for you,”

He whispered, his eyes not leaving the gory killing scene playing out in the movie. Jim smiled, his heartwarming as he looked over the fluffy chestnut hair to meet Joyce’s eyes, smile mirroring his, 

“Thanks, kid,”

Chapter Text

“It’s a jailbreak of the greatest kinds-”

“Eds for crying out loud-”

“He makes his escape in the middle of the afternoon-”

“It is literally 4 in the evening, numbskull-”

“And by his side are his two amazing friends and a cripple-”

“The hell did you just call me Munson-”

“Lookout world, they come to take you on by storm!”

“I’m going to take you by storm if you don’t shut up for like three minutes,”

“Ooh, kinky sweetheart-”

“ Christ Munson-”

“It’s actually Eddie, dear-”

Jim has grown an unfortunate soft spot for the obnoxious metalhead, or otherwise, he would have knocked him into next Tuesday by now. 

Steve was discharged today, a week after his first round of Chemo and he was still nauseous and shaky but otherwise pushing to go home. The three older teens had taken off to help him go home, Jonathan already had a medical absence due to his back, and Eddie and Robin insisted on being there to help move him back home because “moral support” or something like that.

(Jim knew they just wanted to mess around with Steve and honestly, he was happy to allow it.)

Jim was waiting at the truck, having pulled it up to the entrance so they didn’t have to trek out to the parking lot.

Jonathan and Robin were walking side by side, their arms linked as Robin carried Steve’s overnight bag and Jonathan carried the little bag with hospital-issued junk.

Eddie was manning the wheelchair, and being a grade A dumbass at that. 

Steve wasn’t a fan of using the wheelchair at first, still not quite over the hurdle of depending on something other than himself for support but had caved after a squabble with Jonathan that Eddie, Robin, and Jim had all pretended not to eavesdrop on. 

Jonathan and Steve had become inseparable. 

If Jim thought the two were like twins before then they were more like conjoined twins now.

The aftermath of the Harringtons' little stunt had left Steve grabbling mentally, sliding into a depressive state that almost had him stay longer due to Dr. Burns being concerned that his mental decline would set him back physically. 

Jonathan took one look at Steve and bluntly stated the longer he spent in the hospital the more depressed he was going to get, and he would sneak him out if they insisted on keeping him any longer.

(“Jonathan!”

 “Mom! Seriously, look at him! You would be depressed too if you were stuck in one room, feeling miserable, and you’re away from home.”

“You and what army kid? Hate to remind you that you’re in no shape to be sneaking anyone out,”

“I have connections,”

“Jon, Argyle is all the way in Cali, I don’t think his purple palm tree delight does express shipping,”

“Steve…. I’m trying to do you a solid, stop making me laugh” )

So here they were, discharge well underway and Eddie pushing the wheelchair out while he continued to shout about them jailbreaking as if to set people off,

“Oh! Now that we’ve busted this joint let’s go get Ice cream!”

“Eddie Munson it is the beginning of November -”

“Jonathan Byers I fail to see your point -”

“No, I want waffles.”

Just like that, they all shut up, Steve grinning wickedly as he pushed himself out of the chair and took the few quick steps it took to get to the truck, sliding into the passenger side and closing the door without a word.

Jim chuckled at the three’s expression, all of them obviously not expecting Steve really have a say in the decision with his lack of appetite as of late but after a second it click in for Jonathan, the brightest smile breaking across his face as he chuckled and walked over to the truck to climb in the back,

“Waffles it is,”

Although still lost to the significance of waffles, Robin and Eddie jumped into the truck too, already talking about waffle toppings as Jim shook his head and rounded the truck, jumping in and closing the door before smiling as he gave Steve a side eye, starting for the diner,

“Any particular reason for waffles today?”

Steve shrugged, a smile teasing the side of his mouth as he glanced over at Jim, 

“Felt like celebrating I guess, or I guess I might be sad. Either way, waffles is the answer I hear,”

Jim snorted, ruffling the top of Steve’s head carefully as he threw the truck into drive.

The drive over was energetic, Eddie and Robin were in a heated debate on types of music, Jonathan adding his opinion every now and again. Steve didn’t add much, opting for watching the world blurring past as they drove, the leaves bright and full of color and dying. He bit back a laugh, thinking about how they had that much in common.

They pulled up to the diner, Eddie and Robin jumping out and racing each other to the door like a couple of toddlers, shoving each other as they tried to get in first, 

“Children, the lot of them”

Jonathan grumbled with a smile, slowly pulling himself out of the truck with a hand from Jim, 

“Idiots the lot of us for being friends with them,”

Steve countered as Jim took both of his hands and steadied him as he got out of the truck. There was a part of him that really wanted to laugh at the fact that he was the objectively old man in the situation and yet he was helping the teens out like you would your grandfather, and because he forgot just how quick his boys were both of them caught the glint in his eye, Jonathan with his arms crossed and Steve still holding onto his wrists, 

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,”

“I’m calling bull, Jon?”

“Seriously Hop what’s so funny?”

Jim couldn’t help the laugh that did escape as he shook his head, 

“Nothing! Now let's get inside before you two wind up with bad knees or something,”

“What?!?”

“Oh laugh it up gramps, don’t worry we’ll return the favor one day.”

Jim barked a laugh as he repositioned so Steve could hold his arm as they walked into the diner, Jonathan on his other side with a wicked grin,

“Nah I was thinking of dropping him off at a nursing home,”

Steve laughed, shaking his head as Jonathan opened the door, 

“I like the way you think Jon,”

Jim snorted, flicking Steve’s ear with his free hand as they made their way to the table that Eddie and Robin had secured, the band geek and the metal freak still on their argument of the actual music as they played Jenga with the tiny jelly’s at the table, Eddie looking up with a mischievous smile, spreading his arms out dramatically, 

“Behold! The royal family arrives at long last!”

“Piss off Munson,”

“Oh for crying out loud Munson,”

Jim groaned in mock annoyance as Eddie cackled, sitting on his haunches in the booth, patting the seat beside him for Jonathan to slide in, Jim and Steve sitting on the other booth.

They got their order with little fanfare, apparently, if the Chief of Police is with the town pariah then most people will leave him alone and limit their stares. Eddie never really paid them any mind, absently scratching his scar on his chin as he contemplated asking for blueberries or opting for whipped cream,

(“You can like both Eds,”

“Oh trust me Big Boy, I know you can like both,”)

In the end, he did opt for both, Robin getting chocolate chips on hers and Jonathan getting bananas and whipped cream, Jim getting regular waffles, and Steve getting one plain waffle, shrugging and saying he wasn’t very hungry but he still wanted a waffle.

Jim also got a pot of coffee and a cup of mint tea, Steve nudging his foot in thanks as the waitress nodded along and went to go get their orders, 

“Coffee’s for whoever wants it, with the exception of you Munson, you have enough energy. And on second thought, so do you, Buckley, no coffee for you either,”

“Oh wow, so I guess you’re playing the favorites game now saying it’s only Jon and Stevie here that can have coffee,”

“Oh, he’s definitely playing favorites here Eddie. But alas, it is the cruel world we live in.”

She leaned over and whispered something in Eddie’s ear that had the boy laughing, shaking his head, 

“Nah Buckley, if that was the case he’d be the only one drinking coffee.”

Jonathan sputtered next to him, slapping his shoulder as Steve looked between the three with confusion until whatever Robin had said clicked in and his cheeks got bright, 

“Rob- Eddie!?!?”

He reached over to slap them both, the two in offense laughing as they batted his hand away, Jim watching the whole thing go down with amusement shining in his eyes but holding an otherwise neutral expression.

They’d come to him on their own time. When they felt like they could.

He was ok to wait.

By the time the coffee did come out, Steve accepted his tea with a small smile to the waitress who floundered at the expression, Eddie quirking an eyebrow in disinterest as Robin rolled her eyes before Jonathan took the pot of coffee and pour a cup for himself smirking over the rim at both of them and then Steve, who was smirking back at him over his tea.

God, teens were so catty. He forgot about their absolute need to tease people they liked.

He was not looking forward to that stage of life with El.

Or Will,

Unless it was Mike they were flustering, he’d be ok with that.

Once they did get their waffles, Eddie had launched into a full description of exactly what he did for the senior prank, Robin and Jonathan filling in details as Steve listened and Jim tried to put his cop pants aside and simply wear confused but amused dad pants instead.

Besides, he wasn’t going to arrest the group for something they did back at the end of the spring. 

(besides, flooding the gym and trashing the locker room wasn’t even something he could arrest him for. And he wasn’t going to arrest him for spraypainting dicks on the wall with some rather pointed names next to them. Honestly, why would he arrest him for stuff the basketball team, with the exception of Lucas who had been out with his family, were responsible for anyway)

In the end, Steve managed a quarter of the waffle before Jonathan finished it off for him, Eddie had two cups of coffee and Robin decided the present was the best time to try syrup in her coffee,

(she liked it. And that alone was horrifying)

Jim dropped Eddie and Robin off home before going home with his boys, both kids hugging Steve and Jonathan before promising to call later in the night.

They got home a little later than expected, Joyce running out to meet them as soon as they pulled in, 

“You guys are so late! What happened? Was there a setback?”

Steve giggled nervously, as she let her pull him into a hug, a pink blush sprouting on his cheeks, 

“No we uh- we stopped for waffles.”

Joyce pulled away from the hug with a smile, patting his cheek with a nod,

“Oh that’s good dear, don’t worry I wasn’t angry, now off you go, I want both you and Jon to go lay down for a little bit ok?”

Jonathan linked arms with Steve, the two walking shoulder to shoulder and talking softly as Joyce closed the distance between her and Jim, pecking him softly on the lips,

“Jim I was one minute away from calling the station. I was so worried about where you guys had gone-”

“I know, I’m sorry Joy. kid asked for waffles, and-”

“Don’t be sorry Jim. I’m glad you guys went, but now we’ve got a casserole in the oven for just me and the kids.” 

She teased, swatting his arm lightly. Jim laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as they walked into the house.

Steve’s next round was the week before Thanksgiving, and no one was happy about it. it's been almost two weeks since his first round, and they're starting to find a rhythm in the new normal.

“Maybe I’ll not be too nauseous. Because I already know what to expect.”

Steve reasoned with El and Will as the two finished up their papers for English.

It was going to be El’s first official Thanksgiving with a family, 

With her family,

she was elated at first, reading all the material she could get her hands on in the library and planning to have the best Thanksgiving there was known to man, and while he was trying, Steve was still having a hard time keeping food down. The nausea medication helped some, and he had found some methods to help curb it, but it was still frustrating for him and worrisome for the family. 

“Maybe.”

Will responded softly as he erased an error and rewrote it, El flickering her eyes up and then back down again. Steve sighed, sliding off the couch to sit next to them on the floor by the coffee table, flattening his body out on the table and laying on their papers, getting a squawk out of both of them, 

“Steve, what the hell?”

“Steve, we are trying to write,”

Steve mumbled something into the table, letting his face be squished into it as El poked his shoulder and Will giggled softly at his antics, 

“Can I tell you guys something?”

He asked softly, shifting so his chin was propped up on the table, El and Will looked at each other before grinning and mirroring Steve’s position on the table, both laying flat on their stomachs and turning their heads to lay on their folded arms so they were facing Steve.

The older teen snorted in amusement before looking at both of them and then back out at the fireplace as a distraction, 

“I- I’ve actually never really celebrated Thanksgiving before either. The way you should that is. I mean, I think my parents must have been home when I was little but I don’t remember ever celebrating it.”

There was an understanding in Will’s eyes, one to many Thanksgivings of his childhood ending in arguing and hiding in Jonathan’s room, and a spark of relation in El’s eyes, the knowledge that he had also known what it was like to hear about something from everyone in school and not really understand it because you live in a different box in comparison to your friends or peers. 

“Have you ever made pie?”

Both kids shook their heads no, confusion on their brows as Steve pushed himself into a sitting position, testing out how he felt before slowly pushing himself to stand up, Will and El both following him off the ground, 

“We’re going to make pie.”

Will raised an eyebrow as El cocked her head to the side, 

“Steve Thanksgiving isn’t for like another three weeks,”

Steve hummed in agreement as he slowly walked into the kitchen already shuffling things around, 

“We gotta practice. You guys have never made a pie before, so we need to perfect it before Thanksgiving Will the Wise. you in?”

Will and El looked at each other again, their confusion melting into excitement as they scampered into the kitchen, Will pulling out a recipe book and rattling off the things needed while El used her power to bring everything to them while planting herself on the counter, next to Will who was leaning on it, 

“So what are we making?”

He asked with excitement sparkling in his eyes, El nodding in agreement with the question, Steve went into the cabinet, digging around before pulling out a few things and slowly walking over to the counter to lay them out with a grin of his own,

“How about we start with apple?”

Jonathan tripped into the warm kitchen, half expecting to be greeted by his mother and not at all expecting to see Will, El, and Steve coated in flour and remnants of other ingredients.

El had her hand over a bowl, the spoon stirring at her command while Will finished rolling out dough and Steve instructed them both while stirring something on the stovetop,

“El, be careful ok? I’m not exactly looking to be covered in peach leftovers on top of the already sticky apple remains and Will that looks great, go ahead and cut it into strips now after this sauce is done I’ll show you how to lattice- Jon! You’re home,”

Both of his younger siblings whipped around to face him, their eyes lighting up in excitement as they abandoned their stations to give him a careful flour-covered hug, 

“We are practicing pie making,”

El informed him, Will nodding along with excitement, 

“Steve’s super talented in the kitchen Jon, you should see his apple pie!”

“I am not taking all the credit, you two did amazing with your part,”

Steve argued from his spot at the counter. He was leaning on it heavily, his arms trembling slightly at the overexertion of the day but he looked happy, tired, and probably about to drop yes, but happy.

“Alright, you guys need a sous chef and some music. And Steve? Sit down before you collapse please,”

Joyce and Jim walked up to the cabin hand in hand, government papers clutched securely in Joyce’s free hand. From outside they could hear music playing, something that sounded suspiciously like Elton John, and several voices talking as Jim opened the door, kicking the residue mud off his boots on the porch before joining Joyce in the entrance and kicking off his boots next to hers. 

“Kids? We’re home!”

She called out as they both took off their jackets, moving to hang them up, 

“In the kitchen Mom!”

“Jon! It was a surprise! Now, Mom’s gonna know!”

“Will. Mom and Dad were both going to find out, they can smell.”

“We’re definitely not in the kitchen Mom!”

“Steve! That didn’t help!”

Now that they had mentioned it, there was a warmth and a sweet smell in the air that could only be linked to baking. They trekked into the kitchen, the sound of the siblings squabbling luring them in as Honky Cat played from the stereo on the table. 

Several pies sat on the countertop, each with a slice cut out of them with the exception of one pie that was half missing. 

El was sitting on top of the table, legs cross and a plate in her lap as Will sat next to her on a chair, his own plate in front of him. Jonathan and Steve were sitting side by side, Jonathan with an arm wrapped around Steve’s lanky frame and Steve leaning into Jonathan’s shoulder, their plates in front of them as well,

“Dad. today is pie day.” 

El informed him with all seriousness that was almost lost to the way she was wildly smiling at him, 

“Yeah, we made pies today to practice for Thanksgiving!”

Will added, pointing to the counter with his fork, 

“You should try them, we made apple, peach, some random mixed fruit one from a bag of frozen fruit we found in the freezer, and chicken pot pie.”

Steve patted Jonathan’s lap twice before untangling himself from the embrace and carefully stumbling to the bathroom, Jonathan watching him like a hawk. 

“I’ll go check him, Jim, you go ahead and try the pies.”

Joyce said softly, patting his arm and handing him the papers before disappearing down the hall. Jim held back the sigh, as he put the papers on the countertop and looked over suspiciously at the three at the table, 

“So nothing weird is going to jump out at me right?”

El beamed as she shook her head, Will doing the same with a slightly more mischievous smile, 

“Well, we don’t really know what is in the mixed fruit pie.”

Jonathan snorted, taking a sip from his water as he continued to watch the hall.

Jim settled on a slice of everything before going and sitting next to El, bumping her hip with his shoulder, 

“Sitting on the table tonight?”

El smiled shyly before looking over at Will, 

“At least I was not squatting and reciting the wicked witch's speech from Oz.”

Will shrieked, jumping up and tackling El with a red face as they both laughed, Jonathan finally breaking eyesight from the hall to watch them play with a smirk. 

The pies were delicious, and he had a good feeling most of the reason wasn’t because of Will’s theater skills.

When Joyce and Steve rejoined the family, Steve slipped back into his seat by Jonathan, laughing once Jon filled him in on the source of the screaming, Joyce raised an eyebrow before getting herself some of the pies and sitting next to Steve. 

El had decided to sit on a chair after she and Will had broken off from tackling, the girl tucking her shoulder-length curls behind her ear before going back to eating her pie,

“Oh my gosh, you guys this is amazing!”

Joyce praised, all three of the kids blushing at the compliment as Jonathan leaned back to look at her, 

“I washed the dishes,”

Steve snorted, Will and El both laughing at the added comment as Jim flicked a pea at the oldest child,

“Well, the dishes look nice and clean kid, good job.”

Steve poked around at his pie a little more, trying a few bites before opting out and tucking into Jonathan’s side to watch the others talk about their day, 

“Things taste really weird now.”

He whispered into his shoulder, Jonathan rubbing his arm as he hummed,

“I’ve read that happens, do you have any mouth sores yet?”

Steve cautiously ran his tongue through his mouth before winching and nodding. Jonathan tsked softly as he rested his cheek on Steve’s head, letting the sound of Will explaining gym class filter over them like a comforting background sound,

“Sorry, bud,”

“It’s alright. Sucks but it’s alright.”

Wasn’t that a sentiment and a half. But there wasn’t really anything he could say in opposition so he decided to just let Steve rest on him,

“What about you guys Mom, where were you today?”

Jim and Joyce both halted mid forkful, looking at each other with caution and holding a silent conversation, 

“Well we’re going to tell you guys, but let’s wait until we can move the conversation to the living room, ok?”

All four kids looked at each other with different levels of curiosity before dropping the topic and moving to Jonathan’s apprenticeship at the music shop.

“Alright, so this is a big deal, and I don’t want to freak you guys out or anything like that, well we don’t want to freak you guys out-”

“Oh my god are you guys finally getting married?!?!”

“What-”

“Wait what?!?”

“You guys are getting married? You proposed?!?!”

“I- no no I didn’t-”

“Mom. did you proposed?”

“Wait- No El, sweetie I didn’t propose”

Jim pinched the bridge of his nose as the noise escalated slightly, all four teens asking questions over each other as Joyce waved her hands, 

“Kids! No one proposed. We aren’t getting married yet,”

“yeT?!?!?!”

This was going nowhere.

“Hey hey hey! Stop talking over each other and let your Mother speak!”

They all shut up immediately, jaws snapping closed as they watched Jim and Joyce. In hindsight, probably not the smartest thing to shout at a group of parentally traumatized teens, while all of them trusted him with their life, he was sure there was a level of fear that was the reason they all shut down so quickly.

“Alright, now listen, this has nothing to do with me and Jim personally, this actually has to do with you dear.”

The color drained out of Steve’s face as he pointed at himself, every bad scenario running through his mind as to why it had to do with him,

“Oh that came out horribly wrong, it’s nothing bad sweetheart, trust me. Here, I want you to take a look at this”

Steve took the paperwork carefully, maintaining eye contact with Joyce as she handed it over before looking at Jim with the same skepticism in his eyes, Jim simply nodding for him to open it. 

He opened the folder and pulled out the paperwork, flipping through it and glazing over the information before he stopped, flipped three pages back and then five ahead reading intently before looking back up at Jim and Joyce, his eyes filling with tears,

“But that means-”

“Yep. that’s what it means hon.”

“I can’t- you don’t-”

“We do.”

Jim sat down on the coffee table in front of him, carefully taking the legal documents out of his hands and putting them to the side, taking both of his hands and locking eyes with him.

“We do want you. If you’ll have us.”

Steve started deep into Jim’s eyes, so intently that he felt as if the teen was boring into his soul, before looking back up at Joyce who quickly went to sit next to Jim and took one of his hands out of Jim’s, 

“Please, please say yes.”

Steve didn’t say anything, the tears now spilling down his cheeks as he leaned forward and let his head fall between Joyce and Jim, a harsh sob breaking out of him as they enveloped him in a tight hug,

“Welcome home son,”

Chapter Text

“It feels weird.”

They’re at the dinner table, they had just finished dinner and were still sitting here chatting about the day. He hadn’t meant to say it, but the best part of having brain cancer was his lack of filter.

“What does dear?”

“Not working. I feel useless.”

“Wow. class move right there Steve, real class act”

“I don’t know why I said that.”

Will snorted, knocking his ankles with Steve in sympathy while still trying to hide his grin at the random outburst.

He knew Steve hated it, but they all found it enduring, and honestly, it helped them read him a little easier.

“You are not useless. You help us with homework!”

El protested, leaning forward as if to prove her point. 

Steve shrugged, scratching his neck and not making eye contact with any of them,

“I know but you guys- you’re both smart and only need like a little help. Which I’m happy to do! Don’t get me wrong, it’s just…”

He tapered off, fiddling with his fork as a distraction,

“I’ve... I got used to doing it alone?  I mean I’ve been taking care of myself since I was like seven so I’m not used to this,” 

He said, waving a hand around and motioning to the family, 

“And I love it, I really do it’s just… I’ve been on my own since seven, working since I was out of high school, and in a way, I was self-sufficient for as long as I remember so not working, and just being home feels wrong. I don’t know why, but it does, so yeah,”

The silence was almost deafening, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing, and Steve felt a lump grow in his throat, unable to take the word vomit back but terrified he just ruined it all,

“When Bob came into the picture in ‘84 I wasn’t really happy about it,”

Jonathan confessed softly, looking hard at the table to avoid catching anyone’s eyes,

“He was nice and all, he really was but he started doing things for Will and Mom and they were things I did for them. He’d make breakfast whenever he was over and he’d take Will places and he’d hang out with Mom a lot and it felt like I was displaced. Then he died, and I guess I thought Mom might not start dating again and then the fourth of July rolled around and-”

He cut himself off, sitting up and planting his elbow on the table, 

“We moved and everything and then Vecna happened and it was all a lot to handle and then Mom came home with Hop and I about flipped out. I was really happy that Hop was alive but I wasn’t stupid, I saw the way they were holding hands and looking at each other and I was so scared it was going to be Bob all over again, and in a way it was. Hop stepped in and started taking care of Mom, he looked out for Will and El, and me, but I realized something. I was scared to let go because all I’ve ever known was being the father figure.”

he looked up at Steve and nudged his foot with his own, locking ankles with him, 

“What I’m trying to say Steve is, I get it. But it will get easier. I promise.”

“I also thought it was weird when Mom started dating Bob.”

Will shifted uncomfortably in his seat next to El, 

“I liked him enough, I thought he was nice and funny and Mom was happy with him but there was a part of me that was ready for him to show his true colors, the ones where he’d call me names behind Mom’s back and slap Jon around. It never happened, but I was still ready.”

He took a breath and held El’s hand under the table, 

“I don’t think Hop’s like that though, and maybe it’s because I got to know his true color’s from before he started dating Mom, but there are some times where I wonder when it will fall apart,”

“I also wonder that,”

El added, moving her chair closer to Will’s, 

“I… did not trust anyone at first. Everyone was like Papa. but after some time, I trusted Hop. and then we had a fight and I thought he was like Papa. but he apologized and looked for me. Papa would never do that.”

She smiled shyly at Jim before barreling on, 

“And when Dad die- left. I thought my whole world would fall too. And I moved with the Byers, and I wasn’t happy. I tried to be happy but we were all pretending and we never talked about Dad. it was very hard, I wished I was home. But then One… and we were home. And Dad came home. And he was with Mom and I finally felt like I was not pretending anymore. But sometimes I think about what will happen if everything happens again.”

The four kids all looked at each other, their bond growing slightly stronger at the confessions they had been keeping under wraps for sake of face, 

“The day I threw Lonnie out I swore off being with a man ever again.”

All four looked up at Joyce in shock as Joyce pushed a pea around on her plate, 

“I turned Bob down three times before I said yes to dating, and he made me so happy, but there was always that little voice in the back of my head that told me to look out, and then he died and I didn’t think I’d ever love again.”

She swallowed hard as she looked at the wall,

“And then Jim tried to talk me into a date and I adamantly refused, because every relationship I have ever had ended in pain and I couldn’t do that again. But Jim wore me down and on the fourth of July in a Russian bunker, I asked him to go out to Enzo’s on Friday. And then Jim died. And I was angry at the whole world.”

Without thinking Jim snatched her hand, holding it tight to remind her he was there, she laughed softly, squeezing his hand back in response, 

“I packed up and moved who I could of my kids, if I was being honest, I wanted to shove you all in a suitcase and take you all as far away as I could get you. But you had families. You had lives here and I couldn’t do that, so I took who I could and I ran, I ran as far as I could from my memories of men who I loved and men who had hurt me, of a life that had brought my boys pain and left my girl alone. And then I got a package in the mail and my whole life flipped on its head again.”

she laughed, shaking her head fondly, 

“And against Murray’s persistent advice I didn’t hesitate. I booked it for Russia. And the rest is history. But the truth is kids, I didn't know how long it was going to last or if it was going to end in pain but I knew I didn’t want to run away anymore. I fought tooth and nail and I won. I brought your Dad home, and we walked straight into hell, but we had each other and I had all of you. And then when I thought we were finally whole, I thought we were back together as one, I felt something missing. And then you came into our lives,”

She smiled at Steve, tears glistening in her eyes as he cracked a smile and ducked his head, 

“And then I realized we were whole, this is what I’ve been looking for, and if it all went up in flames it wouldn’t matter anymore because I had you. My family.”

Putting your heart and soul on display is the hardest thing, but putting your heart and soul on display for the people you love? 

Its the hardest thing he’ll ever do besides burying his baby girl, but he’d do it for them,

“I’ve always believed I was a curse. From my childhood, to now. My old man hated me, never understood why. I joined the army and watched people I knew die and somehow I never did, I always hated that. Then my friends all started getting sick and dying or they died on the battlefield and I somehow came out unscathed, I thought that for once in my life, things were good. And then Sarah got sick and I found out it was because of me, because of the chemicals from war. And I have never felt more like a curse than I did then.”

Joyce squeezed his hand tightly, his eyes prickling with tears, 

“So I shut myself away, the further I was the fewer people would get hurt right? And it worked for some time, but then I found this little girl in the woods and I couldn’t leave her alone. So I let her into my heart, and I had a little bit of light enter my life again. And things were going good so I figured I’d try again, so I asked the woman I always loved out. And she said no.”

He chuckled as Joyce smacked his arm, a small giggle breaking out among the kids, 

“But I didn’t give up, and she dragged me all over Indianapolis to figure out why her godamn magnets weren’t sticking to her fridge and I was angry but I was also so in love with her and her passion. So I tried again, and again, on the fourth of July in a Russian bunker, she asked me out on a date at Enzo on a Friday evening. And then the Russians took me away from her. And I spent eight months in hell but never gave up because I had to come home. To my girls. And I did something so stupid, so reckless, and so so selfish but I had to get home, and I waited and waited and then I broke free only to be recaptured and I found out that Joyce was too and I felt like a curse again. And I almost gave up but then I saw her there, in all her crazy beauty and I was so glad that I didn’t.”

He smiled down at her, Joyce Byers, the wonder of a woman he had fallen so madly in love with, 

“And we came home. And home was head over ass, because when isn’t Hawkins head over ass,”

The kids giggled again, Joyce snorting in agreement,

“But we were home. And I was going to do everything to make it like home again, and for a while there it was pretty much like home. But then I stumbled into the kitchen in the middle of a movie night and I found a kid, who looked an awful lot like me, and he told me he had raised himself and I knew that then and there, I found the missing piece to a puzzle I didn’t realize I was building.”

“You remember that?”

Steve whispered, blinking at Jim with an unreadable expression,

“I do, and I also remember telling Joyce that whatever it took, I was going to make sure you never went alone again. So here we are. This family.”

He motioned to the whole table, 

“We’re a little broken, hell we’re a lot broken but I think we’re a pretty damn good family. So it’s alright, to feel unsure, and scared and in over our heads but none of us are useless. None of us are being replaced, no one is going to leave anyone behind, and no one is going to go it alone here ever again.”

“And none of us are a curse.”

Jim watched his boy raise a challenging brow, a small quirk of a smile on the side of his lip as he stared him head-on, 

“None of us are a curse.”

He agreed, his heart still challenging that as he watched the frail sick boy nod in agreement. But he could push that aside. If it was for his family he’d push it aside.

“So you’re going to the clinic this time instead?”

“Something like that, yeah,”

Steve bumped shoulders with Will as they walked behind El who insisted on being the one with the cart.

They were going shopping for the weekly groceries today, Jim and Joyce were having the weekend off and Jonathan had initially said he’d do it but Steve was actually not as nauseous today and he was shaky but able to walk without assistance and Will and El both wanted to do something so they badgered him into driving them and told him to stay in the car and take a nap. 

Sweaters have become Steve’s best friend, he had opted on wearing a thick striped sweater today and as soon as they saw it Will and El raced back into their rooms to change, Will now sporting a striped long sleeve shirt and El with a striped dress. 

“Is it still at the hospital?”

Steve hummed with a nod as he checked the apples, picking out the nicest ones and putting them in a bag, 

“But it’s outpatient so I’ll come home after I’m done.”

Both Will and El made a noise of understanding as El flicked her wrist and a bag of potatoes landed in their cart, Will tying off his bag of onions and putting them in too.

“Well, that’s good. You’ll be home instead of so far away, so we’ll be there when it gets bad,”

He stated matter of factly and a part of Steve wanted to admittedly refuse so he bit his tongue. He didn’t want them to see when it got bad.

Bad was him throwing up and feeling out of control, he was vaguely aware that he was clingier and said a lot of things that he didn’t mean to out loud. They called it chemo brain, and that added to his already cancer brain made him completely delirious and out of it. 

He didn’t want them to see him so far out of control. 

“-Eve? Steve, are you having a seizure?”

He blinked, completely unaware that he had spaced out. The wonder twins were watching him closely, El with one hand half stretched and ready to catch him if he fell and Will with his lips pursed and his shoulder tense, 

This is why he didn’t want them to see him at bad,

“No no no, I don’t think so? I actually don’t know. I was thinking so I don’t think so? None of that makes sense.”

Will let out a breath as he grabbed Steve’s hand and put them on the cart, 

“Well it could be an aura, like the pre-warning kind, you had one this morning didn’t you?”

He honestly doesn't remember if he did or didn’t, 

“I did?”

Will nods, pushing the cart along next to Steve as Ell follows them the trio going to the breakfast isle, 

“It wasn’t too bad though, just like a minute and a half. El and I were there. Steve stop looking like that.”

“Like what?”

Will stopped the cart as El made three boxes of cereal fall into the cart, 

“Like your upset about us seeing it. It’s alright you know, for us to be there, on your good and bad days.”

Theoretically, he knew that, but the little voice in the back of his head begged to differ.

“It’s just- you guys shouldn’t have to worry about that stuff, any of it really,”

“You’d worry if it was me or El right?”

What kind of stupid question was that?

El giggled and Will snorted and he realized too late that he had said that out loud.

“Right, and you’d be worried if it was Jon too. Or Mom and Dad, so I don’t see how this is any different.”

“Will, it’s not that it’s different- well it is- but it’s different because you guys are kids, and you’ve all already been through enough and-”

“And you being sick or having seizures or puking is definitely easier to deal with than facing Vecna or a pack of demodogs.” 

Steve sighed as Will patted his hand to move the cart again, heading towards the juice, 

“I just don’t like you guys having to take care of me.”

That stopped Will in his tracks, El also stopping as they both faced him, 

“Steve. It’s not us having to do anything. We are doing it because you- you’re family, and we want to help you, even though you don’t like us seeing you vulnerable we still want to because to need it, and because we’re really good at that, taking care of people. And you’ve been doing it for a long time so it’s your turn to be taken care of.”

When had Will gotten so tall, and when had he become a young man and not a little skinny boy that played D&D and had an aversion to sprinkles?

Will gave him a lopsided smile, and Steve could feel that he was mirroring the act as El burrowed into his side. 

“We love you, Steve, let us love you?”

Steve wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled Will into his other side, smirking at the way that Will was maybe a head shorter than he was now. When the hell did that happen?

“Only if you two allow me to treat you like kids every now and again.”

Will scoffed and El giggled as he bent slightly to place a kiss on El’s head before letting her go and holding Will in an armlock and ruffling his hair, the boy squawking as he pulled away, 

“Alright, pipsqueaks, Jon’s snoring away like an old man, and we’re nearly finished shopping so who want something fun to add to the cart?”

He’d been avoiding them ever since Nancy came in town over the weekend. And Steve Harrington Hopper/Byers was anything but stupid.

“Is Jon awake yet?”

“Not sure dear, he’s been in his room since last night.” 

He knew that. they’d all tried to get him to come out for dinner but he’d said his back was killing him and he wasn’t hungry.

He had no one to do it for him when he went through it, (unless one included Dustin and his massive oopsie daisy of keeping Dart… he did kind of consider Dustin to be that someone, but that wasn’t here nor there) but Jon had him so he’d do what he could.

“Mom, can we go to the quarry?”

Joyce looked up from her paperwork with a quirked eyebrow, 

“Steve, you know you don’t have to ask permission to do everything right dear?”

He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck, 

“Well yeah- I mean, I guess I was just making sure?”

Why the hell did he make it sound like a question,

Joyce sighed with a small smile, nodding as she went back to her work, 

“If you feel up to it dear, don’t push it though, you look tired today. Do you know what’s up with Jon?” 

Steve shifted on his feet, he had an inkling, that’s for sure, 

“Didn’t Nance just go back to college?”

Joyce looked up again, this time with a look of shock and then sadness, 

“You don’t think-”

“Not sure actually, but they were both a little clammy right before she went back, so I wouldn’t be surprised? Besides, this is his first breakup so…”

“ It’s hard. Nance isn’t great with words, sometimes she says things that hurt, breakups are hard when you think it’s right and you find out it's bullshit,”

It all goes unsaid but Joyce seems to read him like a book these days, so she nods, gets up from the table, and walks over and pulls him down to press a kiss on Steve's cheek, 

“Alright honey, but it’s cold so please bundle up. You can’t get sick right now, your immune system’s already kinda shot as it is.”

He smiles, basking in her warmth and motherly love that he’s never experienced in his life, 

“I will, I promise. Thanks” 

She swatted his butt lightly as he went to Jonathan’s room, laughing,

“Stop thanking me for stuff! You and your apologies and thank yous,”

She grumbled light-heartedly as he went down the hall. 

He didn’t bother knocking, he knew Jonathan wouldn’t throw him out but he also knew he wouldn’t answer him if he did, so annoyingly invasive twin it is,

“Jon! We’re going to the quarry, I’m walking if you don’t come,”

“We’re what- wait, Steve!”

He didn’t wait, he closed the door and went into his room searching around for his jean jacket and shoes, internally cackling at the sound of thumping coming from the room beside his. He threw his jacket on, wiggling his feet into his pretied shoes, and snatched the charcoal grey beanie that Mike had given him to throw on for good measure, opting out of the scarf today. Before being fully ready he searched for his backpack, stuffing several small things from his drawer and grabbing his nailbat from the bedpost before he heard his door swing open further, Jonathan standing in the doorway with a well-worn flannel on and a pair of day-old jeans with his clash shirt.

Eeh it was a bad breakup then,

“Steve what the hell are you doing-”

“Quarry first, talk later, hop to it bro”

 He skinnied past Jonathan, and went back to Joyce at the table, pressing a kiss to her forehead as a goodbye before heading for the front door, 

Joyce swatted his butt again, still on the other end with a customer and unable to verbally tell him goodbye. He could hear Jonathan following him, asking him a million questions as they went to Steve’s beemer, Steve tossing his stuff in the back before throwing his keys at Jonathan who was now sputtering in confusion.

Ever since he had stopped driving, Steve had all but ignored his car’s existence so him willingly allowing Jonathan to use it and being a passenger in the car was throwing Jonathan through a loop,

“Come on man, the cold is freezing my ass off lets go already,”

“Alright alright, jesus don’t get your panties in a bunch Steve,”

The drive over to the quarry was filled with Steve talking aimlessly as he flipped through the stations on the dial until he gave up and started searching around in his glove compartment until he pulled out the right tape and stuck it in, Edge of Seventeen blaring on the speakers, Jonathan gave him a quizzical look, to which Steve shrugged,

“I like Stevie Nicks, we share a name in common and she’s an absolute badass. Oh fun fact about Stevie Nicks, you do realize she’s written songs about her ex and had him play backup right? An absolute badass with a capital “B” as far as I’m concerned.”

Jonathan snorted, shaking his head and letting the familiar sound of Steve’s rambling settle in and ease his bones. 

Why had there been a time he had chosen Nancy over Steve?

“Oh! We’re here man,”

They were in fact “here” as he said, pulling up to the empty quarry, and Jonathan still had no idea why, 

“Steve, what the hell are we doing here anyway?”

Steve had a dangerous glint in his eye as he smiled at Jonathan, all but falling over his feet as he got out of the car and threw open his trunk, swinging his bag over his shoulder and picking up his bat before getting another bag and shaking it at Jonathan who had also jumped out of the car and was now watching him with even more confusion, 

“ We are going to break some shit,”

“We” was a little more Jonathan than Jonathan and Steve, but Steve did break two glass coke bottles before handing the bat over to Jonathan and setting up a line of bottles and random shit, telling him to smash until his head was quiet.

Jonathan had no idea what that meant until he had cleared out every single thing laid out, all of it broken into bits,

But his head was quiet.

For the first time in a long time, there was silence in his normally screaming brain.

And it felt like heaven.

He went and sat next to Steve on the hood of the beemer, heaving out breaths as Steve smirked at him playfully, bumping shoulders with him, 

“Feel better?”

“Yeah, I do actually. Thanks.”

Steve nodded, looking back out at the quarry with a pleased smile, 

“It works wonders. I should know. Although I had like, a pack of dogs and Billy Hargrove’s pathetic mug to take it out on, but this is what I would have done if it was just another Tuesday.”

Jonathan chuckled softly, leaning back on his elbows as he watched the quarry,

“She said we’ve grown apart. That I don’t care about her as much anymore, and I said it wasn’t true, I still did care about her a lot, that I loved her. I got like really upset and told her that she’s the one that has been ignoring my calls and finds school more important than us, than me. And she said that wasn’t true, her priorities were just different now,”

Steve hummed in acknowledgment, leaning back so he was mimicking Jonathan’s position, 

“We started throwing shots, what she missed out on, what I forgot, that kind of thing, and then I said she hasn’t told me she loved me since we moved to Cali and-”

He suck a breath in, and Steve didn’t need to hear what came next. He’d already lived this unhappy ending once, 

“I asked her to say it to me. To tell me she loved me, and she said “god you’re just like Steve” and I-”

Steve felt like the cold had just seeped deep into his bones, the slap of her rejection fresh all over again, 

“I told her that was my last straw. She couldn’t talk about my family like that. It didn’t matter anymore that I was hurt by her, and while it still hurt like crazy I just, I don’t even know what she meant when she said that but the way she said it with such irritation made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.”

Steve hummed again, the tears stinging in his eyes. He had no clue why Jonathan would sacrifice his potential happiness, what could have been something so good for him, just because Nancy badmouthed him in an argument.

“Nance isn’t good with emotions Jon. she doesn’t say I love you, doesn’t like, verbalize how she feels unless it’s how she’s made or hurt. I think it’s got to do with her parents, honestly.”

he started softly, both of them still watching the water skip in the quarry, 

“We broke up because she- back at Tina’s party in ‘84, she got like real drunk and said a lot of… things to me, one of which being that I was bullshit and her love for me was bullshit…. Still not sure I don’t believe the first part but I truly loved her, so when I asked her again the next day, asked her to tell me she loved me she just said “really?” and I knew then and there that she had never loved me. She left after that, I didn’t see her again until you guys came back from wherever and we found you guys outside of the lab. I put two and two together and honestly, I was sick of hurting because of her, hurting and hoping she’d eventually see me. So I let her go.”

Jonathan looked at Steve, guilt and self-hatred pooling in his eyes as Steve leaned into him and rested his head on his shoulder, 

“It’s ok now, I’ve… forgiven her. I never held it against you though, so don’t start hating yourself over it. But I just, I don’t get it, why you’d care about me enough to do that, to leave her. But I hope I don’t disappoint you,”

Jonathan sighed, a tear slipping as he sat up straighter, pulling Steve into his side as he rested his cheek on his hat-covered head, 

“I would have never chosen Nancy over you. I love her still, she’s our friend, I think we’ll always love her, you know? But when it came down to it, Steve it wasn’t a choice. You’re my brother now, I’d always choose you first.”

Steve chuckled softly, bumping his head up so he could jostle Jonathan’s a little, 

“Yeah well if it’s of any help, I’ve found that nothing fixes heartbreak quite like ice cream and sleepovers?”

Jonathan laughed, harder than he had in almost three days as Steve giggled underneath his arm,

“You just want an excuse to eat strawberry ice cream and talk about Eddie,”

Steve squawked, smacking his arm but staying in his hold, 

“Do not! Besides, we could talk about Argyle if you wanted, or- heY”

Jonathan tickled him in the ribs, laughing as he tried to squirm out of his hold, heartbreak sucked but having a twin made up for the pain any day.

Chapter Text

“It’s apparently really good! I mean Susan do you remember Susan? She had like long blond hair and these big glasses anyway Susan went to watch it with a few of my old band friends and they said it was really good, besides it’s a Stephen King novel so I know you’ve already read it-”

“Robin! Stop trying to sell me on the movie we’re already in line to see!”

Steve was aiming for it to come out exasperated, he really was, but that damn giggle he can’t get control of slipped out anyways and Eddie was chuckling behind him so it definitely wasn’t helping the situation. Jonathan was juggling a popcorn bucket and a soda next to him, shuffling it into Steve’s hand’s with a soft “ here hold this for a second bud,” so he could reach the tickets that he had stuffed into his pocket without thinking.

Steve had his second round of Chemo in less than four days and as a way to try and distract him, Robin had bullied Joyce and Jim into letting them go to the theater, and then go to a diner for dinner. 

All it took was Jonathan promising he’d call them on the payphone to keep in touch and Steve to catch wind of the plan and perk up with an excited, 

“ We’re going to watch a movie?” for Jim to cave and allow it, Joyce already long gone with the idea and practically shoving her oldest two out the door. 

( “have fun boys! Don’t do anything too crazy!”

“mOM?!?

“WHAT-”

“Joyce, really?

“Jim. they haven’t done anything with their friends in almost a week now, who’s to say what may go down-”

“That’s it, I revoke my membership to this family,”

“You and me both Stevie, you and me both-”)

They were going to see Stand by Me and while he actually had read the book a little while before he got diagnosed, he had a lot of memory gaps on what happened in the story, so he was going in practically blind. 

Not that there was a lot to complain about, he was actually excited to watch the movie. The last movie he had watched was an unofficial Muppet marathon over strawberry ice cream and painkillers with Jonathan the night they talked about Nancy. 

(he wasn’t complaining about the Muppet marathon. It had been his idea anyway. Sue him, he likes the muppets.)

(Yes, Eddie laughed at him when he came in to rent every movie they had.)

 (Yes it was worth it if he got to see Eddie’s blush and the way he threw his head back when he laughed.)

(Yes, he was also totally gone for Eddie Munson. But that was not here nor there)

“-Evie bee you ok? Shit Jon is he having a seizure? He usually tells us doesn’t he?”

Steve blinked, suddenly very aware that Eddie was an inch away from his face, big brown eyes mixed with worry and something else?

“No sorry I blanked out…. That’s been happening a lot too.”

Eddie released a sigh of relief, patting Steve’s cheek softly, 

“Damnit Honey, you scared me there for a second, wasn’t sure if you were gonna need to sit down or not,”

Steve gave him a lopsided grin, fondness brimming over, 

“Nah just was thinking about how you laughed at me for the muppets”

“Damn it all to hell. Fuck this stupid no filter bullshit”

Eddie blinked, his eyes lighting up as he bopped Steve’s nose before tugging him along as the other four started walking to their theater room, 

“Think about me often Sweet-thing?”

Steve clamped down on his jaw, refusing to open his mouth in fear of the truth coming out and yet somehow he managed to squeak, smacking Eddie’s arm as he threw his head back and laughed, Robin gagging and Jonathan rolling his eyes,

“Munson stop harassing my brother, I am known to get punchy when my family is threatened,”

“Didn’t you literally attack me because of that-”

“Steve this doesn’t involve you, the grownups are talking,”

“This is why I hate men.”

Steve cackled as he followed Robin into the theater room, Jonathan and Eddie not far behind them still bickering as they found their seats, Robin and Steve on the far end, and Eddie and Jonathan next to Robin, this way the three could share the popcorn and it was measurably away from Steve so he didn’t have to smell it. 

(he used to love theater popcorn. Dustin had mixed candy in it one time and it was his go-to snack. Now the mear smell of it had almost made him throw up)

The movie started, and between his whispering with Robin about the plot and stealing sips of her soda he caught a familiar flash of red hair, and something set off a panic in him.

It had been years since he’d seen or heard from Tommy. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to,

(part of him didn’t. But a larger part was dying to talk to him again)

(haha… dying,...) 

But he knew for a fact that Tommy wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Carol too. Oh god, if Tommy is here then Carol must be here too? He really didn’t want to deal with this.

(he did. He really did. But he couldn’t. The heartbreak would hurt too much to have them spit in his face)

He tried to focus on the movie, whispering with Robin helped a little, but his whole nervous system was set alight and there was nothing that could stop it now. It was like he was having a private showing of all the wonderful things he’d fucked up somehow. 

He couldn’t do this. 

There was too much going on around him and he couldn’t control it.

“I’ll be right back”

He whispered to Robin, pecking her cheek before getting up and sneaking out the door, his whole nervous system firing off as he tried to get to the bathroom, his stomach churning.

 He didn’t bother which bathroom stall he had ducked into, the bile was already crawling up his throat as he slammed into the nearest open stall and collapsed in  a heap at the toilet, vomit forcing itself out of him while panic coursed through his body, he was sobbing, pain flaring in him as he emptied what little he had in his system,

“Are you ok in there- oh god, Steve is that you?”

He knew that voice, what did he know that voice? 

Another sob bubbled out of his throat as he gagged, nothing coming up, 

A pair of featherlight hands rested on his back, a thumb running circles between his shoulderblades,

“It’s alright Stevie, I- oh god I don’t know what to do… hold on, I’ll be right back,”

Panic seized him at the thought of being alone, and that voice was safe. 

He didn’t know why but her voice was safe,

“ Please. …. Don’t leave me alone please”

He sobbed, another gag forcing him forward, 

“I’m not leaving you alone honeybun I’m just getting some help, I’ll be a minute I sware love, one minute”

She didn’t wait for his response, the voice tore out the door without another word, and Steve felt himself spiraling, the all too familiar pressure of an oncoming seizure making itself known as he screamed into the toilet in frustration,

Carol was panicking. 

Full-on hyperventilation panicking.

She had gone to the bathroom during the movie she and Tom had come to watch, not thinking much of it, she was actually only watching it because Tom wanted to so her urgent need to pee was a relief. 

She was washing her hands when she felt a rush of air and a stall door slam open before the sound of pained retching and sobbing followed.

Her heart stopped at the sound and she didn’t waste a second running over to the now swung-shut stall door, 

“Are you ok in there- oh god-”

There was no fucking way, 

“Stevie is that you?”

He heaved another sob filled with bile into the toilet, his whole body shaking violently as she dropped to his side and immediately rested her hands on his back, running a thumb in circles between his shoulderblades, panic rearing its head deep inside her, 

What the hell was he doing in the woman’s room? More importantly why the hell was he throwing up and sobbing, and was that a scar-

“It’s alright Stevie, I- oh god I don’t know what to do… hold on, I’ll be right back,” 

She jumped up to go find Tom, he always knew what to do. He had been their rock when they were kids, the one that somehow always knew how to handle it. She was one foot out the stall when Steve let go of a strangling sob his hand flailing to find her again, 

“ Please. …. Don’t leave me alone please”

And she had already done that once hadn’t she? Hadn't they both? Steve threw himself against the toilet again with a forceful gag, nothing coming up but another cry as she felt tears spring to her eyes, 

What had happened to her sweet friend in their absence?

“I’m not leaving you alone honeybun I’m just getting some help, I’ll be a minute I sware love, one minute”

She promised tearing out of the bathroom and not waiting to hear his response, her heart only shattering at the sound of his scream in defeat and rejection.

She needed Tommy now.

She tore into the theater again, taking the steps to their seat by twos before she reached their row and without a single fuck pushed several people out of the way and grabbed Tom with such ferocity it made him jolt, 

“Bathroom, now”

He didn’t ask her why. He didn’t question her. He simply moved.

He was out of the seat in an instant, taking her hand and following her out, not saying a word until he got out of the theater and into the lobby, 

“Carol what the fuck is going on,”

She couldn’t speak, tears were pouring down her face as she tugged harder and ran for the ladies' room, 

Tom didn’t hesitate being pulled in with her, she could feel his pulse jumping under his wrist as the sound of crying got closer, until she let him go altogether and bolted into a stall, leaving him standing there but still able to hear, 

“Stevie, honey I didn’t leave you alone it’s alright, breathe for me love please you’re scaring me-”

“I- I can’t- oh god- help me ”

He didn’t think. His mind was a white noise as he suddenly snapped back to life and barreled into the stall, crashing next to Steve on the opposite side, holding him up carefully by his waist, 

Steve had changed since ‘83.

He knew that, objectively, they graduated together, but even since then he’d changed.

He was skinny, far too skinny to be normal. And he was completely out of it.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s ok Steve I got you, stop fighting me, I’m trying to help you,”

Steve collapsed into him, his whole body shaking like a hotwire as Carol cupped his face in her hands and

“What the fu- Carol is that a scar-”

“Tom! Give it a minute please,”

She begged through tears, assessing Steve’s face quickly, before he suddenly snatched her wrist, panic flaring through him,

“I’m gonna- don’t panic”

What?!?!

Before he could fully explain what he meant by it Steve tensed up in Tommy’s embrace, his head lolling to the side, 

“Oh god- CAROL?!?!”

She blanched, pulling herself closer as she kept her hold on his cheeks, 

“Steve?!?! Oh god Tommy he’s having a seizure,”

She sobbed, stroking his cheek with her thumb,

“It’s alright love, we’re here. Don’t worry, you’re safe,”

Tommy couldn’t breathe, his childhood best friend was laying limp and ridged at the same time in his arms, his eyes fluttering and his jaw ticking, completely unresponsive and he felt like he was going to throw up.

“Carol we need to call an ambulance-”

The minute the words tumbled out of his mouth Steve started to untense in his hold, gasping breathes coming out in heaves as Tommy started to stroke his arms, 

“Hey man, it’s alright, we’re gonna call for help ok-”

“He shook his head, desperately trying to communicate but unable to get the words out. 

“Steve take a minute, you just had a seizure-”

“ ‘s nrm’l ‘m fn’e”

Tommy and Carol both looked at each other in shock as he continued to try to talk to them, a frustrated growl bubbling in his throat as he struggled to sit up, 

“Alright, alright let me help you,”

Tommy chastised as he drew him up, leaning him into his chest as Steve took another harsh breath, patting his arm in thanks. 

“G’v ‘e a min’t” 

They both nodded, sitting on the cold bathroom floor as he tried to collect himself, holding Carol’s hand tightly in one hand and Tommy’s forearm in the other, a minute passed before he nodded slowly, resting his head against Tommy’s shoulder,

“Sorry…. I tried to warn you”

He mumbled softly, 

“Uh uh. None of that Steve. What the hell’s going on?!?!”

Steve inhaled shakily as he glanced around the stall with a lazy look, 

“How’d you… what happened?”

Carol bit her tongue looking at Tommy with worry glistening in her eyes, 

“Stevie, what do you remember last?”

He still wasn’t making eye contact with them, seeming to drift off before he answered,

“Came to see a movie, was sposed to be a before Chemo night… saw Tommy? Tommy? Is that you?”

That was a hell of a lot of information to pack in one punch.

“Yeah, Steve it’s me. Carol’s here too,”

He whined softly trying to pull away from Tommy as tears built in his eyes, 

“No no no no, you’re staying right here bud-”

“ Please I- I can’t do this- I can’t-”

“Can’t do what Steve?”

“You left me. I- it’s- please” 

Carol bit her lip as a sob tried to escape, Tomming biting the inside of his cheek as he pulled him closer, 

“No Steve, we- we’re sorry. I’m sorry, we did leave you but we aren’t doing that again. I promise we won’t”

“You said that before,”

He fought back a sob bubbling up as he covered his face with his hands. 

He had said it before.

They were both seven years old and Steve had just been left home alone. 

It had been a week since his parents had left and Steve had cried himself to sleep in Tommy’s embrace in the elementary school parking lot. 

He promised he’d never leave him. 

And then he did.

Nine years later.

Tommy forced his hands away from his face bending to get a good sight of his eyes, tears streaming down his face, 

“I know I did. It was the biggest mistake of my life, Steve believe me. I regretted it every day of my life but I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore. You became so distant and I thought you hated me so I was hurt and I stayed away. So did Carol. But we’re so sorry. Please, believe me. We’re sorry”

It was like a weight had been lifted as Steve threw his lean arms around him and buried his nose in his neck, fresh tears spilling as he held him tight, Carol wrapping him in a hug from behind, 

“I was stupid. I was hurt by Nancy and I lashed out. And- so much shit happened and then I felt like you guys just- disappeared. Like everyone else, I was just- a last name to you guys, just money and it hurt so bad so I pushed it all away and I’m sorry, I’m so so so sorry, I should have reached out I should have apologized I-”

“Stevie breathe, we were all to blame. Ok? All of us. Not just you, or Tommy, but all of us. But we’re going to fix it, starting right now. We’re never leaving you alone again.”

Steve chuckled wetly into Tommy’s shoulder pulling away a little to face them both, 

“Get in line. I got adopted and have a pack of kids who won’t leave me alone and two neurotic best friends- oh my god…” Steve tried to jump up, but the energy was fully zapped out of him as he flopped back against Tommy with a groan, 

“I need to tell Robs, and Ed and Jon.. they’re probably freaking out-”

“I’ll go get them Steve, who am I looking for?”

He sighed, smiling at Carol for the first time since she had seen him in ‘83, 

“Robin Buckley? She used to be in band. Tell her I had an episode, she’ll get the others too.”

Carol nodded, pressing a kiss to his forehead before doing the same to Tommy and leaving, the two former best friends still sitting shoulder to shoulder, next to a toilet full of Steve’s vomit, and their faces tear-stained.

“I missed you,”

Steve whispered, almost afraid to admit it out loud,

Tommy wanted to cry all over again,

“I never stopped missing you.”

He replied holding Steve closer as he felt him lay his head on his shoulder,

“Are you ok? Did you and Carol ever escape- well I guess not, you’re here.”

Tommy chuckled, resting his cheek on Steve’s head, the soft locks he had never forgotten tickling him just like they always had when they sat like this, 

“We did for some time, yeah, but there was an earthquake, and Mom’s house came down so I came back. Carol came back with me, left a really hot chick behind but she said she wanted to come home. I think we were hoping to see you again…”

Steve hummed softly, his eyes slipping closed, 

“It wasn’t an earthquake.”

What,

“Steve… it was? I saw the aftermath-”

“It wasn’t an earthquake. We live on top of hell. The ground cracked open because we killed Vecna. ‘S why I got so weird during senior year. Been dealin’ with this since ‘83”

There was way too much going on for Tommy to process what he had just word vomited, so he went back to square one, 

“Steve- that was a lot to process, walk me back to the beginning, yeah? Did you say chemo?”

Please, please say no,

“Oh… yeah, stage three Astrocry-something I can’t- brain tumor. Fucked up my brain, get seizures and shit now too. Forget a lot too. Say stuff I don’t mean to. Am I rambling?”

He couldn’t even process the last question, all he kept hearing was brain tumor over and over and he was really beginning to think he was going to be sick, 

“Steve-”

“It’s alright Tommy. I’m- it’s alright. I got a family, they’re taking care of me. I wish you were there, you and Carol, but it’s alright.”

“Steve stop. It’s not alright. I- this is a lot to process right now if I’m honest but- I-”

He inhaled sharply, the rejection was going to suck, but he had done it to himself, 

“If you’ll have us, please let us be here for you. I know you have new friends, good ones too from the sounds of it, but let us be here for you, please let us be in your life again-”

“ Yes. ”

He stopped talking, his breath being sucked right out of him as Steve snatched his wrist up and squeezed it tightly, 

“Yes, I still want you in my life. I want you to meet my family to get to know the people I love, I told you about- hell or the upside down or whatever because- well I shouldn’t have done that- but I want you to be a part of my life again. I missed you. Not who we were in high school. We were dicks, I hate us from high school, but I wanted Tommy from thirteen years ago again. I missed the kid who made me feel wanted for the first time in my life. So yes, I want you in my life again… but I don’t think I’d be able to do that again, watch you leave-”

“I won’t. I promise you I swear to you I won’t I won’t ever again.”

Steve chuckled softly, sighing as he relaxed against his friend, 

“You’re a sap.”

Tommy laughed, knocking knees with him as he leaned back into the stall wall,

“Mighty rich coming from the same guy that just put his heart out on a platter.”

Steve snorted, a weight he didn’t know was still there finally off his chest, 

“You’re gonna love Robin-”

“Steve?!?!”

Steve perked up, craning his head around the door with a small look of relief in his eyes, 

“Jon!?? Jon, I’m in here-”

Thundering footsteps clattered into the room as Jonathan Byers skidded to a halt at the stall, relief clear in his eyes at the sight of Steve. 

“Oh my god, Steve I-”

He dove down and pulled Steve up, holding him close as he let out a shaky breath, 

Steve was two inches taller than Jonathan, but somehow he looked three inches shorter as he relaxed into him and his knees buckled, 

“Hey hey, it’s ok, I got you, do you need to sit down?”

Steve nodded, waving an arm behind him at Tommy, 

“Tommy, Jon. Jon, Tommy.” 

Both boys looked at each other in a state of shock before Tommy stood up, shaking off,

“Byers,”

“Hagan?”

Tommy nodded and Jonathan made a small huh noise before shifting so Steve was secure under his arm, 

“Let’s go sit down outside bud, ok? Hagan’s following us,”

Tommy didn’t ask, there were way too many questions buzzing in his head as he nodded numbly and followed them out to the lobby.

Carol was certainly getting her cardio in today, 

She tore into the theater again, looking for a familiar head of strawberry blonde and clocking her several rows away from where she and Tommy had been minutes ago,

Or was it hours ago

It felt like years ago.

She took the stares by two again, stopping right at their row and tugging on Robin’s sweater, 

The girl spooked, looking up at her with a confused glance, 

“I need your help,” 

she whisper shouted, Robin, quirked an eyebrow, 

“It’s Steve, he had an episode. He needs help,”

She had never seen someone move so fast in her life. Robin threw herself out of the seat, flicking the boy next to her and-

Is that Jonathan Byers?

He jumped up and bolted out of the theater, panic clear in his expression as Robin got the other boy’s attention-

IS THAT EDDIE MUNSON??!!?

Who also jumped up at an alarming speed, brushing past her and gently taking her arm and leading her down the stairs, 

“Where’s Stevie?”

Stevie?!?!?!?!

“Ladies restroom. He was throwing up and then he started to seize-”

Eddie sucked a breath in as he nodded in understanding, pushing the door open and leading her out,

“Thanks, sweetheart, you good? I’m sure that wasn’t comfortable to watch,”

Eddie Munson was nothing like he had seemed in high. 

And he was nothing like the murderer the town was painting him out to be.

“I- it’s not about me, Steve needs-”

“It’s alright, take a minute to breathe yeah? Jon’s probably found him by now.”

Eddie stopped his run to fully face Carol, looking her up and down before looking at Robin behind her, 

“Carol right? You still in touch with Steve?”

“Perkins?!?! Oh my god I thought you left- wait you guys left Steve back in-”

“I know! I know what we did! It was stupid and horrible and we all regret it but he needs help right now so please, stop stalling!”

Eddie held her by both her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes, it felt like he was reading her soul, 

“Perkins. You need to take a breath. Is he by himself?”

She shook her head, 

“No no, Tommy stayed with him. He was awake when I left, he told me to get you guy-”

“Good. alright let’s go,”

He was distracting her. He had gotten her to calm down without her even realizing it,

Eddie Munson was nothing like she had imagined.

They got to the ladies' room at the same time Jonathan was walking out with an armful of Steve and Tommy in tow.

The three booked it for the other three, Eddie nearly colliding with Jonathan and Steve as he took Steve’s other side and helped him over to a bench, talking softly as they sat down. Buckley watched as Tommy and her embraced, all three sparing a glance at each other before Robin ran over and kneeled in front of Steve, taking his hands in hers and asking him some soft question before-

“Robin, where- I lost my scarf,”

He sounded panicked and Carol’s eyes zoned into a purple and white silk scarf that she walked over and picked up off the floor before walking over to the group of four and holding it out, Steve smiling in relief as he took it and began to try and put it back on, his arms and hand’s shaking too much to be able to, Eddie took over with practiced ease, tying into place over his head like a folded handkerchief.

Carol felt Tommy stand next to her, a hand on her shoulder as she looked at all four of them, 

“We need to talk.”

They decided to forgo watching the movie, Buckley offered them to join them on their dinner at the diner so they could talk, catch up, fill the other two in, all of the above.

Tommy and Carol accepted easily. The drive over was tense, both not knowing what to say if there was anything to say. 

For not the first time in their lives, they felt like there was something bigger going on that they had no clue about.

Tommy told her about this living over hell thing that Steve had told him, and she wasn’t sure, people with cancer and that are on chemo have a lot of brain fog, she’d know, being a nurse after all.

And then there was that.

Cancer,

One of her friends.

One of her best friends.

Had cancer. 

Stage 3 astrocytoma. 

(“he said it was stage three astrocry-something?”

“Astrocytoma. That’s a- what stage?”

“.....three.”

“Fuck” )

They reached the diner a little bit before the others did. Both sat in the chilled car as they tied to breathe through the fear. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

They were supposed to talk to Steve about what happened and poke fun at him and makeup but otherwise be fine.

This wasn’t-

They forced themselves out of the car and into the diner once they saw the others go in. 

They got into the diner and shook off the cold as Robin waved them over to their table, an aloof grin on her face as they sat down,

“Ok so order of importance, Hop thinks it’s gross but I really like it and Jon over here is a sourpuss and won’t be a tie-breaker because Stevie-bee agrees with Hop but Eds agrees with me so what I’m trying to ask is do you think syrup is any good in coffee?”

It was an odd ice breaker, but the two answered immediately

“That’s abhorred-”

“Wait you’ve tried that?!? I thought I was the only one that like that,”

Robin cackled wickedly, slapping the seat next to her, 

“Welcome to the right side of heaven Hagan, take a seat,”

“Or the coldest end of hell. Perkins, you sit with the sensible side of the table,”

Jonathan quipped with a grin as the other side sputtered in disagreement.

She chuckled slipping into the seat next to Jonathan as he passed her a menu, 

“The chicken’s not bad.”

There was no fanfare. No weird divide. They were accepted as if they had been friends with them forever.

It was odd,

Carol did order the fried chicken, Jonathan did the same and Eddie and Robin both ordered club sandwiches and Tommy ordered a meatball sub. Steve wasn’t keen on eating much but did order a strawberry milkshake and a bowl of soup at Jonathan’s persistence.

As soon as their food got out, and Jonathan had watched the waitress leave and Robin looked around to see if anyone was listening they laid it all out,

Apparently, Hawkins was in fact, sitting on top of hell. 

Will Byers hadn’t run away, he was kidnapped by a skinned giant. 

The Mall didn’t burn down, it was actually a Russian bunker that had collapsed after a meat monster made of their classmate's and neighbors' remains crashed the ceiling.

And this freak of a skinned giant had killed the three teens and it got pinned on Eddie, who had been a part of the killing of said skinned giant after almost dying because he was attacked by giant demon bats.

Oh and Steve had not only survived the same demon bats after being pulled under lovers lake, he had also narrowly survived Russian torture, and being almost beaten to death by Billy Hargrove (may he rot in peace) all while protecting a bunch of kids that had unfortunately gotten mixed in this because Will went missing and he was their friend.

Oh, and there was a little girl who was now the chief’s daughter who had powers because she was kidnapped as a baby and turned into an experiment. 

And Barb died in Steve’s pool that night she went missing because of these demon creatures that looked like venus flytrap people.

So in summary, Hawkins was fucked up, (they already knew this) and now some dude named Owens may or may not show up at their doorstep with a stack of NDAs for them to sign.

Big whoop.

It was a lot of information for one night,

And that wasn’t including the information on Steve’s health decline.

That alone was enough to send the two over the edge.

“It was a lot, we know that. And if you guys want we can fill you in more at some point-”

“It’s absolutely not a question-”

“We totally want to know more.”

Steve snorted, taking a sip out of his milkshake and leaning into Jonathan, 

“You guys are taking this awfully well.”

There was also that.

Steve’s shit parents had finally taken it a step too far recently and had dug themselves a nice grave when they got back to Hawkins. 

And Steve wasn’t a Harrington anymore. Not legally at least.

He was a Hopper/Byers. 

So he and Jon were step-siblings,

Which had to be odd with the whole “Nancy” thing.

“Well, Stranger Things have happened I suppose,”

Tommy joked with a shrug, picking at his fries, and looking between Jonathan and Steve, 

“So this may seem odd but.. Where’s Wheeler? You’re dating her aren’t you Byers?”

Both boys stiffened at that, Jonathan poking at his leftovers as Steve picked the hem of his red sweater, 

So Wheeler wasn’t in the picture then.

“Wait so you’re telling me that she’s the reason the three of us split, and the reason Byer’s decked you in the head, and the reason you went after Byers in the first place, and she’s not even here- does she know about you being Sick?”

“Huh. I never thought about it that way,”

“Oh shit, you’re right.”

Tommy snorted, reaching across and dipping a fry in Steve’s milkshake and relishing the squawk of retaliation that he had missed. 

“I am smart every now and again boys, don’t look so surprised.”

They finished dinner off by talking about current life, Carol talked about her internship with Hawkins memorial coming up and Tommy and Eddie argued over Aerosmith vs Judas Preist and what could be considered a classic while Robin filled them in on the latest Hawkins gossip and Jonathan complained about the mess that Eddie was making with the tomatoes he picked out of his sandwich and Steve batted off Tommy’s attempts to stick his fries in his milkshake.

It felt normal.

It felt good.

It felt like it was supposed to be.

They left with a better understanding of each other, and a promise to join dinner on Sunday before Steve’s treatment, all six knowing there was something deeper for them on the horizon as a group.

And for once in their lives, Tommy and Carol felt like they didn’t have to pretend to fit in.

They were accepted for who they were, no questions asked.

And it felt amazing.

Chapter Text

Steve squirmed in place standing in front of the Hosptial entrance, waiting for Jim to park the truck.

He really didn’t want to be here today.

He really didn’t have a choice, but the sentiment was still there… despite his wishful thinking, he had a bad feeling this time was going to be worse than the first time. But he’d be damned if it ruined Thanksgiving.

Jim threw Steve’s chemo bag over his shoulder, rubbing the boy’s shoulder in a comforting method both of them staring at the door, 

“Ready to go kid?”

“Can I say no?”

Steve’s voice was tight as he tensed up, his tremor hitting harder due to the stress. Jim sighed, pulling him in and holding him close to his side, resting his chin on top of the boy's head, 

“I know kid, it’s not gonna be fun. But there’s no other way, if I could change it I would trust me.”

Steve sighed, releasing some of his tension as he leaned into the touch, 

“It’s going to be worse this time. I know it.”

He whispered, and Jim felt his gut twist as he rubbed Steve’s shoulder, 

“And if it is, we’ll figure it out when we get there. You’ll be home this time, so we’ll all be there.”

“I don’t- it’s gross, and I’ll be gross and out of it, and the kids-”

“Steve look at me,”

He pulled apart and held Steve by his shoulder, looking him deep in the eyes.

“Kid, I’m not going to lie to you, it will feel really gross for you, throwing up never feels good, but that won’t make you gross, or the situation. You are fighting for your life, son. You realize that you can’t control this stuff right? And the kids aren’t going to care. They’ve both puked before. They’ve both been so sick they’re talking crazy too. They aren’t going to be scared or think of you any less bud. I promise,”

Steve looked at his feet, shame coloring his cheeks as he made a noncommittal noise, his nose twitching, 

“Still gonna be gross though..”

Jim sighed, pulling him closer and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, 

“And we’ll deal with it when we get there.”

Steve nodded, smiling softly at the simple gesture before looking up and taking a breath, rolling his shoulders,

“Ok. I got this.”

Jim smirked, ruffling his hair as Steve smiled at the contact, 

“Hell yeah, you do kid.”

The outpatient lab was nice. It was a softly lit level, stations set up with dividers if patients wanted privacy and each section had a soft-looking chair and a seat beside it along with a basket full of magazines and other odds and ends. 

Angie got Steve set up in a corner of the room, a few other patients in but everyone with their own family member or friend so it was more a private thing than not. 

Steve was still very much on edge, Jim could tell by how he was fidgeting with his cream-colored sweater and how he kept scouting out the room. 

“All right dear, anything else before we get you hooked up?”

Steve shook his head, panic flaring like it had the first time. He hated this. All of it was so overwhelming and he felt like he was on the verge of crying and screaming all at once. 

“That’s alright dear, don’t stress. If you need anything just give us a call or have Dad get one of us, alright?”

He gave her a shaky thumbs up, his other hand digging into his thigh. 

“Ok pumpkin, your file said you have a bit of a needle aversion, so I’m gonna keep talking and I want you to look over at Dad until I say ok? Amazing job dear, just tries and breathe for me, well done sweetheart. Do you guys have any plans for the holidays?”

“First- is my f-first f-family holiday- I can’t do this-”

Steve was trembling uncontrollably, tears spilling as he covered his face in embarrassment, Angie put her hands up in a show that she was backing down as Jim jumped up and knelt down in front of Steve, 

“Hey bud, talk to me, what’s going on?”

Steve tried to, something garbled coming out between his soft crying before he covered his face with one arm and reached the other one out towards Jim.

“If it makes him more comfortable for you to sit with him, you are absolutely more than welcome to,”

Angie informed a tight smile on her face. Jim nodded in thanks as he stood up and gently pulled Steve to his feet, turning and sitting in the chair before sitting Steve on his lap, leaning his head on his shoulder and stroking his hair, 

“In and out bud, take a minute to breathe before we try again, ok?”

“ ‘m sorry”

“Nope, it’s ok. You don’t have to apologize, kid, this is a lot to process. Thanks for telling me you needed help.”

Steve slowly came down from the panic attack, tapping his fingers on his knees as he tried to slow his breathing down scrubbing his face with his other arm before Jim gently took his arm and lowered it, reaching over to the small table and snatching a tissue to wipe the remainders of the tears and snot off,

“I got it, kid,”

Steve sighed, steeling himself before nodding to convey that he was calmer now. Angie smiled sympathetically as she moved back in to fix the treatment,

“Alright love, you were saying it’s your first family holiday? That sounds amazing. I’ve only met Mom and Dad and a few of your friends, do you have any siblings?”

Steve nodded, his eyes closed as she fixed the tubing and connected it to his port, 

“Oh wonderful, do you want to talk to me about them?”

He did, and once he started he couldn’t stop. He talked about Will and El, about Will’s love for D&D and El’s obsession with Eggos, and Jonathan and how he liked music and photography and about all the wild shenanigans they had gotten into in the short two months of them really acting like a family unit. Jim felt him relax slowly into him as he talked, moving from his siblings to the kids with ease, all their favorite things and the odd little quirks that only he knew, and about his friends, about Tommy and Carol and how they were on speaking terms again and how it was easier now than it was before, and about Robin and how much he adored her and Eddie.. And how good his music was and how he had cool tattoos and about how he laughed at him for liking the Muppets, and Angie hummed along, nodding and asking some questions as she finished off setting up, steadfastly ignoring the blush that crept over his face as he talked about Eddie, 

“He sounds like quite the catch love,”

Steve burned with embarrassment as he covered his face with one hand, Jim laughing at the reaction and how instantly Steve shut up, 

“I’m messing with you honey, don’t be embarrassed. I’ll have to meet this Eddie sometime, gotta make sure our favorite patient is in good hands don’t we?”

He squeaked, cheeks even redder as she laughed and patted his leg, looking at Jim, 

“We started off the nausea med first so he should be ok for the first hour, if it wears off and he needs more tell us, and if he needs anything else just press the button,”

Jim nodded, before looking at the bag on the floor, 

“Would you mind handing that to me actually? He’s got some stuff in there,”

“Absolutely dear, not a problem at all,”

She handed him the bag before nodding and going to check on another patient. Steve had settled down by then, still tapping his sweatpants but not in an anxious way anymore. He was trying to distract himself, but he was fully drained from the panic attack now and was simply happy to sit in silence. Jim shuffled through the bag before he found what he was looking for, pulling out the yellow blanket and then Marty, and lastly the book he’d picked out to read.

He was never a huge reader, but there wasn’t going to be much for him to do, so he figured he’d give literature a go. After throwing the blanket over Steve’s lap and by proxy, his own, he handed the bear to Steve and flipped one-handed through the book until he got to the page he had left off on, on hand still holding Steve close by his forearm, rubbing it softly.

Steve looked like he was dropping off, blinking heavily as he leaned into Jim’s shoulder with a small yawn, 

“You can take a nap kid, in fact, it’s probably better that you do while you still can.”

Steve hummed in response, softly stroking Marty's soft fur, 

“Are you ever- you promise you’ll never- am I a burden?”

Jim felt his heart stop at the softspoken question, closing the book and shrugging his shoulder gently to push Steve into sitting up slightly so they were looking at each other, 

“Is this because of what happened or has this been on your mind for a while?”

“A little of both?”

He answered honestly, not quite meeting Jim’s intense stare,

“Kid, Steve, you aren’t a burden, I’m never going to leave you and no, I’m not frustrated with you because of what happened. You hear me?”

Steve glanced up at him, biting his lip, 

“It’s just… I’m nineteen and I’m acting like I’m like nine or something-”

“Did you ever get to act like you were nine when you were nine?”

That caught him off guard, he blinked at Jim with confusion before shaking his head unsure, 

“I mean, I was always told to act my age? Like they wanted a mini adult so I guess I kinda became one? And with them gone… it was kinda hard to be seven when I needed to figure out how to use the stovetop.”

Jim’s jaw clenched at the thought of all the year's Steve had to put up with, and the years he could have changed it sooner. 

God, he hated the Harringtons.

God, he hated himself.

“Then act nine. Sit on my lap if it gives you some comfort, ask for hugs when you need some support, cry when you’re upset, get fussy, whatever it is kid, it’s not gonna change how I feel about you, and can I tell you a secret? It’s totally ok for a nineteen-year-old to seek comfort from his Dad. and to cry when he’s upset, or ask for a hug just because. So don’t be ashamed of it, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Steve sighed, leaning back into Jim’s shoulder and letting his body relax completely, his cheeks still tinted with embarrassment, 

“Ok… thanks, Dad.”

Steve woke up with a jolt, his hand instantly flying to Jim’s flannel and snatching it.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok bud what’s going on?”

Steve repressed a sob, his other hand balled into a fist at his mouth as he shook his head,

“Steve, are you ok? Do you need some help?”

Steve slid off his lap and snagged the trash bin next to the chair, retching painfully into it as Jim jumped up and crouched down to rub his back. Whispering assurances to him.

Steve had a half hour left of his treatment and had slept through the majority of it, much to Jim's relief. 

“I’m sorry, I- I’m sorry- oh god-”

“Hey, none of that kid, it’s alright, you did good. You’re almost done, kid.”

After a few minutes, Steve shakily handed the bin to Jim, Jim putting it to the side before carefully scooping Steve up off the floor and placing him in the chair, stuffing the blanket up around him as he pulled the water bottle out of his bag, uncapping it and handing it to him. 

Steve whispered in thanks as he took the bottle, his hands quivering and making it slightly hard to handle one-handed so he switched for two, swishing the water around before spitting it into the trash bin at his feet, handing the bottle back to Jim with a small nod. Jim set it aside and pulled out another tissue and wiped his nose, instructing him to blow as he tried to clear out whatever may have been left, tossing the tissue in the bin and tying off the bag,

“I feel awful,”

Steve croaked, a full body shiver running through him as he clenched and unclenched his hands in a bunch full of the blanket. 

“I know bud, I’ll get someone to up the nausea medication.”

Steve hummed softly with a nod, closing his eyes as he melted into the chair, 

“ Please,”

He hated how weak Steve sounded, his gut twisting as he picked up the remote and hit the nurse's call. 

The nurse on call came over, her smile dropping slightly at the sight before nodding and going over to the drawer and pulling out a syringe, going over to Steve and carefully laying a hand on his shoulder, 

“Hey honey, I’m gonna give you this for your nausea, ok? You’re probably gonna feel real tired afterward,”

He swallowed hard as he gave her a short nod, not opening his eyes as she worked quickly and injected it into the free line on the port. 

“Give it a few to kick in, alright? I’ll get this out of your way.”

She took the trashbin smiling softly at Jim as she went to dispose of the vomit, saying she’d bring back another bin and a bin for his vomit just in case.

Jim brought his chair a little closer until his knees were up against Steve’s rubbing his thigh to try and add some form of comfort as he moaned softly, taking measured breaths and swallowing hard, 

“God this sucks,”

He whispered in a breathy laugh, Jim grimaced with  a nod, 

“It really does. You want some water?”

Steve gave him a so-so hand, cautiously opening his eyes as he let out a shaky breath, 

“I- walking out’s gonna be hard,”

He whispered softly, shame creeping into his face again as Jim brushed his bang out of his eye, 

“Hey, stop that. There’s nothing wrong with you telling me you need help. I’ll get a chair, ok? Thanks for letting me know instead of pushing yourself kid, I’m glad you trust me.”

Steve gave him a lopsided smile as another shiver worked its way through him, leaving him to close his eyes again and inhale sharply, 

“Think it’s starting to work a little,”

“Good. I’m glad to hear that bud.” 

By the time he had finished his treatment Steve was thoroughly wiped out, and barely coherent enough to go. The minute someone asked if he should spend the night inpatient he jolt himself awake, half begging Jim to take him home instead. 

Jim got him set in a wheelchair, putting his blanket over his legs and his bag on his lap before thanking the nurses and walking him out, scheduling his next treatment at the front desk. 

“Hey kid, I’m gonna go pull the truck around ok? I’m gonna leave you here for a quick minute but I’ll be back ok?”

Steve mumbled something, giving him a shaky thumbs up as a final response before Jim left to go bring the car around, when he pulled up to the front he threw the passenger door open before going to collect him from the lobby, chuckling to himself when he saw the two young nurses talking to him.

Steve wasn’t all there, but he was still trying to be nice, blushing like mad when one of the girls commented on his eyes but otherwise easily deflecting the flirts.

He looked relieved when he saw Jim walk back in, and Jim made an easy break between the girls, thanking them for keeping him company before taking his bag and throwing it over his shoulder and then bending to scoop Steve up with an ease that made his stomach flip.

He really needed to figure out how to get him to eat more.

Or they were going to have to use other methods to keep his weight from completely plummeting.

(he’d have to talk with Joyce later on. They may have to talk with his doctor too)

“Alright you rascal, let's go home,”

Steve giggled softly into his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around Jim’s shoulder with a short nod, before swallowing hard again, 

“I think I’ll be ok until we get home,”

“Good, we’ll bring a bag just in case.”

They did end up needing the bag, much to Steve’s dismay, and Jim's. 

“Nothing like puking on the road,”

He joked flippantly as he spits into the bag with a groan,

“This is getting old,”

He grumbled as he eased back into the seat, Jim looking over at him as he turned the corner to the road that led to the cabin, 

“I know kid. Hate to break it to ya but it’s gonna be sticking around for a while,”

Steve groaned again, resting his head against the window and relishing the cool feeling,

“Thanks for the reminder,”

He quipped with a bite, going silent as he looked out the window, sighing in frustration, 

“I’m-”

“Don’t apologize, Steve, you don’t have control of it. It’s alright kid, I know you aren’t trying to be an asshole.”

“Still feel like an asshole,”

He argued softly, picking at his sweater. The mood swings were hard to navigate, Steve’s mood went up and down rapidly and it annoyed him to no end, especially because he had gotten so good at masking and now he had little to no control over how he reacted to things.

“One of these days I’m gonna say something I regret…”

“You might, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there kid, no sense in worrying about it now, it hasn’t even happened yet.”

“My dad would have slapped me for that… probably would have actually slapped me for a lot by now. Don’t always get why you haven’t”

That was another thing, Steve had practically no filter. He would say things he was thinking without meaning to a lot more often now, especially when he was already worn out.

“Steve I’m never going to lay a finger on you in anger.” 

He reminded gently, having said this before on at least three other occasions. His memory was also pretty rough, it was already a little out of shape due to the multiple concussions but with the chemo and the tumor added on, his short-term memory was shot.

“....I know that….. I think. I sometimes wonder If Mama will ever snap at me too. When I ask too many questions or forget to do something? I don’t know, guess I’d deserve it.”

Mama. it was his name for Joyce. Something he only ever referred to her with the family or when he was seriously out of it. It made Jim's heart thump with joy to hear him refer to Joyce with such a name. 

Just like every time he called him Dad.

It was a casual name, something most kids call their parents, but to Steve it meant safety. His father was Father or Sir. his mother was Mother or Ma’am. There was no affection, no love in the names. They were honorific titles. So Dad and Mama were for the people he looked to for security and love. 

“Mama’s never gonna snap at you kiddo. She loves you too much for that. She may get frustrated with you sometimes if you do something stupid but she’ll never get angry at you for that.”

“Ok…. we almost home?”

Jim huffed a small laugh, rubbing Steve’s shoulder gently with one hand, the other on the wheel, 

“Ten more minutes champ. Go ahead and sleep. I’ll get you inside,”

He didn’t have to say anything when he got home. The minute the truck pulled up the door was thrown open and Joyce was standing in the entrance with a worried brow.

Jon was at the music store today, finally back to a regular schedule now that his back was starting to ease in pain and his therapy was better, but he’d be home within the hour. The kids were going over to Eddies after school to run a campaign and would be home in time for dinner, which left the house quiet. Jim carefully popped the passenger side door open, scooping up an armful of Steve, and turned with ease, kicking the door shut as he carried him in, the boy still asleep in his arms.

“How’d it go?”

Joyce asked, worry only tripling when she let them in and Jim went straight to Steve’s room to lay him down, 

“Wasn’t great, he had a panic attack right before they started and ended up getting sick twice towards the end and on the way home. He’s pretty worn out.”

Joyce cooed softly as she brushed his bang aside and pressed a kiss to his forehead, 

“My poor sweet boy.”

Steve sturred a little, blinking at her as he tried to wake up, 

“Mama?”

Joyce nodded, kissing his head again,

“Yep, it’s just me sweetheart. You sleep now, I’ll be in the other room.”

“Ok..”

She smiled, waiting until he was asleep again to look up at Jim with a pinched brow, 

“When was the last time he was weighed?”

This wonderful little lady always seemed to read his mind.

“Back when he got admitted for his first round. You think he’s lost a lot too?”

She nodded, worrying at her lip as she pulled his covers up and slowly left the room, closing the door but leaving it open three inches, waving for Jim to join her in the kitchen.

She poured two cups of coffee and the two took a few sips, enjoying the silence and mulling over their thoughts, 

“He’s lost too much weight, Jim.”

“It’s going to get worse Joy.”

She tisked in frustration, looking at the door down the hall as she took a sip again, 

“Is there something we can get him to eat? We’ve tried all the stuff that the kids found in their books but nothing is working well enough,”

She despaired softly, leaning a little heavier on the countertop, Jim rested a hand on top of hers with a tight face, 

“He’s not gonna like it-”

“Jim. not yet… you don’t think,”

“I don’t know Joyce. But if it gets any worse, it’s probably going to be our only choice.”

She huffed again, looking down at their hands with a frown, 

“Let me ask around first. I’ll see if there’s anything I’m missing, Karen knows a lot of people, she may know someone that knows something.”

He nodded, knowing it was going to be easier to let her try than shoot it down. Although not related through blood, there were times he saw Steve and Joyce and they were the same person. Stubborn to a fault and somehow always right, they were always ready to go to bat for the people they loved.

He wondered if, in another life, Steve was actually Joyce’s child.

He hopes that Steve is happy and healthy with that Joyce. 

He also hopes that Steve and Joyce have a version of him.

Jonathan got home a little later than expected, but nonetheless immediately went from the front door and toeing off his shoes into Steve’s room to check him before coming back out and making a cup of ginger tea and going back into the room for a half hour, leaving with an empty mug and an easier look in his eyes, kissing his mom on the cheek and leaning into Jim’s side as a greeting. 

It was hard for him to trust adults. Especially men, but he was trying.

He didn’t even offer, he simply started pulling out the supplies to make dinner, claiming he had wanted chili and he was the best at it so he’d be making dinner. Joyce gave him a squeeze before going to call Karen, and Jim helped Jonathan chop ingredients before leaving to pick up the kids from the trailer park.

Jim didn’t even need to get out before the door swung open and El was standing there with a small smile, Jim got out to collect them, ruffling Will’s hair and kissing El’s head as he thanked Wayne for watching them, Eddie poking out and asking for an update on Steve and how the appointment went. 

Jim filled both of them in, Eddie frowning with a nod of understanding and Wayne grimacing before telling Jim to keep in touch and letting him know the kids were welcome to stay for however long they needed or could be dropped off if he needed them out of the house.

When they got back to the cabin Will and El both barreled in, Will going to hug Jonathan and check on Joyce who was still talking to Karen, Steve tucked into her side half asleep.

He’d gotten up shortly after Jim had left and ended up throwing up the tea that Jonathan gave him and was now feeling a little clingy so he was with Joyce.

As a result, Joyce had opted out of eating dinner in exchange for sitting with Steve and catching up with Karen, who had recognized her voice at one point and was confused as to where she was before asking how Holly and Mike were, opting out of talking about Nancy, which had confused both mothers.

Jonathan had just stiffened before asking Joyce to ask Karen if Mike wanted to come over for Thanksgiving, switching the conversation quickly.

Will and El both finished their dinner before carefully bombarding Steve with questions, El wiggling on the couch next to him so that he was sandwiched by Joyce and El, Will opting for sitting on the floor and whipping out his homework on the coffee table.

Jim washed the dishes and Jonathan checked in on the family before going to get a shower and take a nap, saying he’d take the first shift that night.

After packing everything away and cleaning everything up Jim joined the group in the living room.

Apparently, Karen and Joyce had a lot to catch up on, as she was still on the phone, nodding along and writing things down with suggestions from different things that Karen had heard and read, while also peppering in questions about the neighbors and how Holly was doing.

El flipped the television on without moving, a small grin spreading on her face, flipping the stations until it landed on a rerun of The Lawrence Welk Show, nodding in approval as she snuggled into Steve’s side with a sigh, smiling as she watched Arthur Duncan perform to “Golden Slippers” Will making small comments here and there as he focused on his math work.

It was calm.

It was almost normal.

Jim basked in the normality of the moment, decompressing from the day and preparing for the week ahead at the same time.

Chapter Text

The peace only lasts until 3 in the morning. 

Jim can hear Jonathan’s voice in the hall and the sound of retching as soon as he’s jolted out of his sleep, the cold still biting edges of his consciousness from memories of nights spent in a cell coming back to haunt him.

“I h-haven’t-” 

Another forceful gag, 

“ ha-aven’t e-eaten anything- I don’t-”

“Steve stop trying to talk it’s making it worse bud just focus on calming down,”

“I d-don’t get it- Jon I d-don’t have a-an-ything left i-i-in me- oh god-”

“Steve! Just try to breathe, in through your nose, out through your mouth, in and out, good, you're doing good-”

“I c-can’t k-k-keep doing th-this Jon, you- I-”

“Breathe, Steve, don’t talk to me. I’m here, it’s ok,”

Jim heaved himself out of bed, putting a hand on Joyce’s back when she shifted to get up with him, 

“It’s alright Love, I’m already up,”

Joyce nodded with a sigh, relaxing again as Jim threw on a pair of sweatpants and stumbled out down the hall to the bathroom.

Steve and Jonathan were parked out on the floor, Steve practically hugging the toilet bowl as Jonatan rubbed his back. 

“T-t-toilets m-my new f-friend.”

He mumbled into the bowl after he had calmed his breathing down, Jonathan chuckling softly as he picked up the wet washcloth hanging on the side of the tub, and carefully pulled Steve back from the bowl to wipe his face. 

Steve didn’t fight him on it, he simply sat there and let Jonathan talk him through blowing his nose as he made quick work of wiping his face before handing him a cup of water to rinse his mouth out.

Jonathan moved with a fluid motion, his whole body looked at ease as he ran through the motions before he brought Steve to his side and leaned against the wall, softly humming the tune of one of his favorites songs as Steve hiccuped in the aftermath of vomiting, coughing every once and a while, but otherwise, calm against Jonathan’s side. 

“You two ok?”

Jonathan looked up, already having clocked Jim’s presence a while ago, with a nod, 

“Yeah, this is the first time so far, think we can handle it,”

“Mmmhmm. Furst- first time? N-not inclu-cluding the ss-siezure though,”

Jonathan chuckled softly, brushing Steve’s featherlight bang back, and smiling fondly at him, 

“Seizures and vomiting are two different things to document buddy,”

“O-oh, yeah th-that makes ss-sense I gu-guess”

Tender. 

That was the word Jim had been trying to remember.

Jonathan’s love for Steve was tender.

He didn’t treat him with kid gloves per se, but he was careful with him in a way that was completely unique to Jonathan. 

And Steve was never bothered by it.

Which was odd, beings that he hated the kid gloves, and absolutely hated people being careful around him, but it was different with Jonathan, there was a level of understanding,

He knew it was Jonathan’s love language, and he was happy to receive it without question.

“Wanna hang out here for a few more, goose?”

“I-if I’m a- a g-goose ar-re yo-u a- a duck?”

Jonathan snorted, shaking his head as he leaned back into the wall,

“Sure thing goose.”

He looked back up at Jim, a tired smile in  his eyes, 

“We’re ok. You can go back to bed Dad.”

Dad…. it was foreign for both Jim and Jonathan, but it was something he was trying to say more often. 

Both of them found they liked it. It was just taking some getting used to.

“Ok, if you need anything, holler-”

“H-hollering, c-can you re-remov-ve the puke-ing in m-me?”

Jim groaned, a grin barely hidden as Steve giggled maniacally at his joke and Jonathan heavily sighed, rolling his eyes with the same grin.

“You’re a pill, you know that kid?”

“D-didn’t kn-now th-that, but y-you a-are wh-what yo-ou e-eat I gu-guess,”

It was getting worse lately, Steve would get a really bad stutter whenever he was drained, and the hiccups that frequented his vomiting made it hard for him to communicate sometimes, but he was working on it, working to talk slower so the stutter wasn’t as bad, or when the slur came he’d try the same thing, working out the kinks in his issues as best he could.

He was damn proud of his kids' strength. 

A lesser man would have quit, but not his boy.

“Alright you cheeky brat, I’m going to bed, don’t piss Jonathan off,”

“Th-that’s im-mpos-s-ss f-fuck it, no-ot gonna ha-aappen.”

Jonathan snorted, tucking Steve in closer, 

“Impossible? Eeh, try me,”

They did well to ignore the stutter now, it had been one of the things that stuck around after the tumor removal but with his focus on regaining his ability to be mobile he didn’t pay much attention to it at the time. 

The first time it stuck around after his first round of chemo and the first several nights of vomiting and distress he had been thoroughly frustrated, but Jonathan didn’t even react, he simply took it in stride and sat patiently until Steve finished trying to relate whatever it was he was saying. 

Leading by example, Will and El did the same, and so did their friends.

Eddie and Robin never mentioned it, they had asked Jonathan a little while later in a panic that it was a setback but once Jonathan explained it they simply squared up and ignore it, letting Steve take the time he needed.

There weren’t enough times for Jim to say how proud he was of his group, his family.

He went back to bed, bringing Joyce close and breathing in her scent as she burrowed into his chest, 

“The boys ok in there?”

He smiled into her hair, loving her motherly instincts,

“Yeah, they’re good. Jon’s got it covered.”

“ Oh, I suppose all men of intelligence know how fragile such things as Law and Justice and Civilization really are, but it's not a thing they think of willingly, because it disturbs one's rest and plays hob with one's appetite.” 

Steve groaned, rolling over on his side, breathing harshly through his nose to try and stanch the god-awful feeling of bile threatening to crawl up his throat. 

Eddie sighed, his heart panging as he dog eared the book and got off the bed, squatting down to be at eye level with Steve, reaching up and brushing a hand through his hair, his hand coming back with clumps of the beautiful hair.

Eddie swallowed back his own bile as he slowly removed his hand from Steve’s head altogether knowing his rings would pull more of it out than a normal hand, switching to rub the back of Steve’s neck instead. 

“What’s up babydoll, tell me what hurts”

He offered softly, tilting his head to the side so they were looking straight into the eyes of each other.

Steve had such beautiful eyes.

“Everyth-thing… m-m-my head i-is p-p-pound-ding an-nd sh-hit,”

He slapped his hand on his mouth and whimpered, screwing his eyes shut as he tried to block everything out.

His head was throbbing so bad that it was making him sick, on top of general nausea, on top of the sores that kept bleeding in his mouth along with his bleeding gums, and the fact that his skin felt like it was itching so bad that it was burning and all he wanted was to scream and cry but he knew the kids were in the other room working on a project as a group and if he started to cry he’d start vomiting and the last three hours of holding back will have been for absolutely nothing, and he hasn’t lost the stupid stutter since yesterday night.

Everything. Everything. Everything. Sucked. 

“-Evie? Stevie sweetness, I need you to open your eyes, there we go, hey there beautiful,”

And why, why did Eddie think he was beautiful? 

He was appalling. He was losing the color of his skin and his hair was falling out and he was losing weight and it was because he couldn’t stop vomiting no matter what he did. 

Everything about him now was the antithesis of who he used to be.

How could anyone think he was beautiful?

“Angel you’re spiraling, now we’ve been trying to hold it off but darling, it’s inevitable. You can’t hold it at bay forever.”

Well, he was going to fucking try his damnedest too.

“The stink eye isn’t going to make it any better love, I’m gonna move slow, but we’re gonna move this party into the bathroom kay? I’ll bring some pillows and your blanket and we’re gonna camp out until you can sleep again or until you can take more medicine,”

That’s what his life has been. The bed, the toilet, back to bed, back to the toilet, and medicine in between, sometimes he could sip on some tea or manage to stomach some bone broth and it would stay for a while before it made a reappearance. 

He was sick of it.

All of it.

He just wanted his life back.

“I know you do honey, I know you do. And we’ll get there one day, step by step, alright, I’m gonna pick you up now ok? Nice and easy,”

The second Eddie lifted him he felt like he was going to lose it, panic seized him as he smacked Eddie’s arm frantically with his free hand, another whimpering cry sticking in his throat along with the tea he had just had nearly four hours ago, 

“It’s alright love I’m going, deep breaths, in and out, there you go, deep breaths, Wheeler move-”

Eddie walked as fast as he could without jostling Steve, Mike swerving out of the way the minute he heard Eddie’s voice with a soft apology.

He’d have to apologize for snapping at the kid later, he knew that Mike wouldn’t hold it against him, but Steve will if he remembered it later.

And despite popular belief, Wheeler is his favorite of the sheep…. Right after Dustin… ok so not quite against popular belief but the point still stands.

He’d apologize to Wheeler the second later.

Eddie dropped at the toilet in the nick of time, Steve still on his lap as he gagged and flung his upper body at the porcelain throne, disposing every last drop of anything into the bowl with heaving sobs. 

“I- I-’m s-s-so s-s-s-”

He gagged again, more bile coming up as Eddie continued to rub between his shoulderblades, 

“S-SICK OF I-IT” 

He screamed into the bowl, hitting the rim hard with a balled fist that was sure to bruise up. He didn’t care anymore, he just wanted to lay down and rot, what was the purpose of any of this anymore,

“Sweetheart I understand you’re in pain but you can’t say stuff like that love,”

“Wh-why t-t-the f-f-fuck can’t I-I k-k-kee-eep it t-t-o m-myself”

He was exhausted, everything hurt and he couldn’t keep his own damn thoughts to himself. He was naked in front of the crowd, fully breaking down, and just so sick of it all.

He spits residue into the toilet and heaved another sob, disgusted with himself and the toilet and how he couldn’t even stand on his own right now and he really just wanted something cold to-

A glass of cold water appeared by his cheek, a slender pale hand holding it out to him. Steve’s eyes trailed up the arm to find Mike crouching in front of his face at the side of the toilet, tears brimming in his eyes as he held out the glass, his lips taut in a thin line to try and not betray the tears begging to spill.

Guilt coursed in Steve’s blood as he hung his head and let go of a strangled cry.

His kids heard that.

They heard all of it.

He was disgusting.

“No you’re not, Steve please please stop saying that I can’t stand it.” he couldn’t look up, he’d disappointed his kids, Mike was disappointed with him.

“Steve please look at me? I can’t- please, I need you,”

That’s all it took for him to force himself to look back at his kid, his stubborn ass of a kid who would kick the gravel at him just to egg him on. The kid that’s primary language to him was eye-rolls and quippy remarks. His starchy but sensitively sweet kid.

Mike was crying. He wasn’t trying to hide it anymore, tears spilling down his face as he continued to hold the glass out, 

“Please take it, Steve, for me?”

It was like kryptonite, all any of them had to say was “for me” and Steve would drop everything to do it. But he physically couldn’t. His arms were shaking with overexertion and he felt so out of it that the knew he couldn’t

“I-I-I c-c-ca-an’t”

Mike nodded in understanding, inching closer and holding the glass to Steve’s lips without comment, tilting it so he could suck in a little water to swish and spit back into the toilet, Mike reaching up and flushing it the second he did before holding the glass out again, pressing it to his lips and helping him take tiny measured sips, 

“You aren’t disgusting. I hate when you say that. You didn’t choose this, no one would. Even if you did, it wouldn’t make you disgusting. I-” 

He bit his lip, cutting himself off as he lowered the glass and ripped a piece of toilet paper off, and gently wiped Steve’s nose, 

“I hate when the guy I look up to, the guy I see as my hero says that. He’s anything but disgusting. So, please. Please, for me…. Don’t say that ever again.”

Steve rested his head on Mike’s hand, unable to speak as the exhaustion crashed into him like a wave, he had so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to relay but he couldn’t. 

So he rested his head, sticky with sweat and tears on Mike's hand, ignoring the toilet paper full of his snot and bile, in favor of showing Mike his thanks, his love for him. 

Mike placed his other hand under Steve’s chin to balance his face as he chucked the toilet paper in the trash bin and put his hand back on Steve’s cheek leaning down and resting his forehead against his former babysitter's head, heaving a sigh as he closed his eyes,

“You’re the strongest person I know. Cut yourself some slack, please.”

“Ok…” 

For you… I’ll try for you

He could still feel Eddie holding him up as he shifted into Eddie’s embrace, but otherwise refusing to move, basking in the silent moment between him and one of his kids.

Restless nights have become their norm. Jim can’t remember the last time he was running on pure willpower and cat naps, probably during his stint in Russia, but this was different. Then he was trying to survive, now he’s trying to provide comfort. 

Tonight’s no different. 

They got in about a good three hours before it started, Steve’s whimpering instantly waking Jim up, getting him out of the chair, and at Steve's side in a flash with the bin. Steve had one hand on his mouth, fingers clenching at his jaw as the other bunched up the blankets. Jim sighed, placing the bin in his lap he rubbed the teen’s back, 

“Bud it’s better to just let go, it’s alright. I’ve got you.”

Steve stifled a cry, shaking his head as his hands trembled, the one on the blanket clenching and unclenching. Jim hated these nights most. 

“Come on bud, let it go. I know you hate it, but I promise it’ll be better if you just do it.”

Steve physically couldn’t hold back anymore, sobs wracking through him as he threw up bile, his tears and snot mixing in as Jim rubbed his back with one hand, the other holding his thinning hair back. 

“There you go kid, that’s good. You’re ok.” he soothed, moving from rubbing his back to holding him up by his shoulder, waiting for him to finish. Steve spit a few times into the bin his body quacking as Jim gently pushed him back into the bed, taking the bin off his lap and taking it into the bathroom to rinse it out, wringing out a wet rag and bringing it back. He placed the bin on the foot of the bed before taking Steve’s hand and wiping it off, moving to wipe his face next, and biting back a sigh when he flinched at the contact before letting him wipe his face off, 

“Still just me kid, you’re ok.”

Steve hummed, his eyes lidded as he tried to control the trembling.

“I j-just want it to s-s-stop.”

“I know kid.”

Steve watched as Jim took the rag and chucked it into the bin, tracking his movements as a tremor wracked his frame, 

“’m hot.” 

Jim felt his forehead, clicking his tongue as he moved to rub his shoulders softly, 

“Got slight fever kid. Want some water?” 

Steve groaned, rubbing his face with a shaky hand, 

“Th-think I’ll p-puke it up.”

“What about some ice chips?”

“Mmhm yeah that s-s-sounds ok”

Jim chuckled as he took the cup of leftover ice and picked out some of the ones that weren’t melted, handing the spoon to the teen. Steve grunted, taking the spoon and picking two chips off of it and putting them in his mouth, allowing Jim to take the spoon again as his eyes slipped closed. 

“’m gonn-na h-hate ice after th-this.”

Jim snorted, putting the cup back on the table and sitting next to the boy, allowing him to shift slowly so he was next to him head on his shoulder as he absently traced shapes on the blanket,

“ ‘d you finish that book yet?” 

Steve shook his head, softly, swallowing with a groan after the action. Jim nodded, moving his hand to open the drawer at the bedside table, pulling out the second-hand copy of Christine and opening the bookmark, 

“What is it about this book that you like anyway?” he asked absently, watching Steve closely as he fought off another wave of nausea, 

“K-killer car, f-fo-und it fu-funny I gu-guess.” 

Jim snorted, shifting to move the bin closer as he got comfortable against the headrest of the bed, 

“Which one are we reading after this one?”

“Mmm, thinking ‘bout C-cujo.. w-wanna read the n-n-new one too.”

Jim scratched his scruff as he tried to remember what the new one was named, 

“The one with the clown?”

Steve chuckled, swallowing hard again, 

“Yeah, ‘bout g-group of kids.”

Ah, that makes sense

“Oh yeah? I’ll see what I can do kid.” 

Steve hummed, fingers still making shapes as Jim started to read, not fully getting the appeal but enjoying the small noise he may pull out of the kid every now and again.  

“ Maybe that’s one of the ways you recognize really lonely people . . . they can always think of something neat to do on rainy days. You can always call them up. They’re always home.” 

Steve snorted softly a small grin on the edge of his lips, 

“Like us.”

Jim chuckled, shaking his head at the cheeky comment and bumping Steve’s temple with his nose, 

“Sure kid, like us.”

Restless nights were a norm now, but so were Stephen King nights.

“Damn it”

Screw these stupid bloody noses.

This was an update on the symptoms list. He remembered Dustin saying he had a possibility of getting them, but in the same light, he had forgotten about them.

Funny how that worked.

A tissue floated in front of him out of thin air, spooking him into a startle as he looked up to find El sitting across from him at the coffee table. 

It had been a fairly good day, his symptoms were at a low so he snuck out of his room to the living room to at least try and feel like something was normal.

El wasn’t feeling like school today, her hormones all over the place, and her cramps dialed up to a hundred so they had camped out in the living room. Both crampy and grumpy so they figured, misery loves company,

“We match now,”

She said with a small smile, a trickle of blood coming down her nose as she continued to hold the tissue out to him via powers,

Oh shit, he needs to grab it so she can let go

He took the tissue with a small smile, wiping his nose and spitting the little bit of blood from his gums into the tissue with a pleased sigh.

He was getting tired of swallowing bloody spit.

El plucked her own tissue out and wiped her nose, the smile never leaving as he balled up his tissue and threw it into the trashcan on the far end of the room, the little ball landing in the basket perfectly,

(Well. at least he still could do that.)

Before patting the side of the couch for her to join him, El scrambled up instantly and snuggled into his side as he grabbed the remote and started flipping channels, landing on some rerun of The French Chef, and deciding to leave it on, both him and El having a thing for cooking shows.

“Why does Eddie call you all the names that aren’t Steve?”

Well, that caught him off guard… he honestly had no clue how to answer it either.

“I- well, w-hen you like a-a pers-son…. You s-sometimes do t-that?”

El nodded sagely snuggling a little more, 

“Then I should call you babydoll.”

He sputtered, his face burning as he shook his head,

“N-n-no def-fiantly not…” 

El looked up and raised an eyebrow in confusion,

“But you said when you like someone you call them names that aren’t their name?”

“ God this would be impossible to say if he keeps stuttering”

“You can think it, I will listen to your brain, to make it easier.”

He balked at her, the little girl only giggling in response, 

“ Ok you cheeky brat, there are some names you shouldn’t use.”

“Why?” 

He was going to hate explaining this. Especially if Eddie didn’t feel the same way he did.

Or if he was like him.

No, he was definitely like him. He just wasn’t sure if he liked him as he liked him..

None of that made sense…

“ Forget I thought that.”

El giggled unsure why but nodded anyway, 

“ Sometimes adults call each other names like that because they like them in a way siblings don’t”

“Oh… that makes sense. But I want to call you a name that’s not Steve”

“Pet names  Ellie. They’re pet names. And you can, just nothing with baby ok?”

El beamed, nodding as she sat back and pondered, 

“What about bean?”

Why in the nine realms of hell-

“Why bean?”

Ell poked his arm with a smirk, 

“You look like a bean now,”

Well… ouch.

“ Well, you look like a peach. So there. Your name is peach now. Because you’re fuzzy, like a peach”

El balked at him, a mischievous glint in her eye showing him he hadn’t taken it too far, 

“I am not fuzzy, ”

Steve reached over and rubbed her arm, to demonstrate her fuzzy hair on her arms, El shrieking in denial as he laughed.

Chapter Text

It was one thing when it was in the near and dear future. In a way, it was almost a little easier to deal with when he could ignore it in favor of focusing on everything else.

But he really didn’t have the luxury of ignorance anymore. Not when he was standing in the bathroom staring at his clumpy-looking hair, patching in some areas, and small clumps on his pillow.

He sighed, tapping the glass of the mirror with his finger as he leaned in and looked at his hair. 

Really looked at it,

For years it was his identity, in an odd way, he’s pretty sure it still is. Everyone’s always talking about how nice his hair is, how much they love touching his hair, and how pretty his hair is. 

And it sucks.

What doesn’t anymore.

He remembered talking El aside after she came home, the girl in near tears as she told him she was now ugly without her long hair and he couldn’t stand it, he spent hours talking to her and standing with her in the mirror, pointing out every detail about her that was beautiful before stopping and placing his hand over her beating heart and whispering so it was just her that could hear,

“ You are beautiful. Inside and out. But this right here, this heart of yours is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

She hugged him for nearly twenty-five minutes straight after that and didn’t leave him the rest of the night.

And while he had called her every weekend while they were in Cali and sent her notes and packages, he thinks that's where their bond really began, in the bathroom on a Tuesday night, Steve pointing to every small part of her that he thought made her beautiful, and stopping to stare her in the eyes in her reflection to tell her about every invisible thing that made her beautiful, far more beautiful than physical beauty could ever make her.

But now he was here, at four in the morning while the rest of his family slept, standing in the mirror with Jim’s face trimmer in hand, and he couldn’t do it…..

“Hypocrite.”

He spat softly at himself, unable to meet his own eyes in the reflection.

Why was it so easy for him to tell others something that he didn’t believe for himself? 

He heaved a sigh, tipping back so that his back hit the wall with a soft thump, staring hard in the mirror at his reflection.

He was pale now, his skin having lost the sunkissed look he usually had, his moles and freckles fare more pronounced now in his pallor. 

(on Eddie, pale skin looked breathtaking, on Mike, his lack of tan contrasted his black hair, on Robin, her freckles looked like an extension of her exciting personality, on Max her freckles made her spunky attitude pop,)

He was thin, thinner than he had ever been, his elbows were bony and his shoulders were gaunt, his collarbone was far more noticeable and he could feel his ribs and hips whenever he was laying down or sitting or honestly if he pressed just right,

(Thin on Joyce looked slim. Thin on Mike looked normal. Thin on anyone else was good, thin on him was disgusting, )

His skin was bruised in some odd ends too, his fist still purple from his outburst days ago and he knew that his shins were covered in bruises,

(bruises on Max meant she was skateboarding, bruises on Erica meant she was roughhousing with Lucas or vice versa, bruises on him used to mean he was protecting)

If he opened his mouth he could see the sores on his inner cheeks and lips, his gums were always tinted red now, bleeding at the most random timings too, and there was a little bit of blood stuck to the side of his nose from the last nosebleed, 

(nosebleeds on El mean she’s using her power, being unstoppable and amazing, bloody gums for Dustin mean he’s adjusting to having his teeth again after all the extensive work done to help him with it) 

And then there’s that ugly ass scar… tallied on with all his other ugly ass scars… 

(Hop’s scars were from fighting off literal demons and Russians, and Eddie’s scars were from him sacrificing his safety for Dustin. His scars were from being beaten up or stupid things like his body rejecting him)

He was so ugly now. Everything about Steve “the hair” Harrington was gone and in its place was this disgusting, slowly falling apart and dying version of Steve.

He was already ugly, so why did this matter so much to him?

It’s all you have left. That’s why it matters…

He watched as a tear slipped down his cheek, the clippers still held tightly in one fist as the other remained balled up at his side.

His nightshirt is hanging loosely over his haunting frame, that fucking stupid port is visible and he really wants to rip it out but if he does that he’ll bleed out on the bathroom floor and then the Byers/Hoppers will have to deal with his pathetic corpse when they wake up-

They’ll already have to deal with his pathetic corpse someday soon

“Shut up… just shut. Up” 

The voice sounds so much like his mothers, her words precise and always hitting the mark and he wants to lash out so badly, but there’s a laugh in the back of his mind that reminds him he’s never been able to actually lash out, all he’s ever done is cower and wait for it to be over, like the disappointment he was born.

“ Please, just stop”

They both laugh in his head as he slides down the wall in a heap, burying his face into his bare cold legs, pulling at his hair to try and calm himself down only to pull a fistful of it out.

He wants to curl up in a ball and die already, it's only two months in and he’s already throwing the towel in. like the pathetic waste of a disappointment he is.

He’s a disappointment to the kids, 

(Mike called him his hero, Dustin idolized him, Max looked up to him, Lucas valued everything he said and did, Erica respected him, and Will and El saw him as a brother. How did they see anything outside of a massive fuck up?)

He’s a disappointment to Jon and Robin and Eds,

(he doesn’t understand why they care… why do they care? why the hell do they love him? and why the hell does sweet, amazing, Eddie think he's beautiful? why doesn't Jon hate him for the stupid shit he said? why can't Robin see that he's the most awful, disgusting person to breathe air? Why can’t they just leave him alone like everyone else?)

He’s sure he’d be a disappointment to Tom and Carol,

(they’d given him a second chance only for him to fail them)

Worst of all he’s such a disappointment to Joyce and Jim.

(the only people he’s ever seen as parents. The only people he’s ever looked up to with adoration and so much love it hurts, and yet he never wants to leave their sides. He can't live with the fact that he's disappointed them, all that they've done for him and given up for him because he's such a damn burden and he's going to flake out now because he can't handle it? what a disgusting excuse for a person)

The words swirl in his head as he bites back a cry, that stupid pressure building and telling him he’s about to have a damn seizure on the bathroom floor with a pair of clippers in his hands and in the middle of a breakdown.

What a time to be alive.

He plants his feet on the bathroom vanity and pushed his back into the wall as he prepared for the feeling of losing control, his mind hazing out as he felt his body stiffen, his jaw painfully tight, and his limbs all constricting. 

He can’t breathe right, he knows he needs to, he can hear Joyce’s soft voice in his head coaching him through it, feel Jim’s warm hand on his back and feel Eddie’s curls tickling his face, smell Jonathan’s aftershave and a hint of weed smell as he forces his lungs to accept air, trying to calm down enough that the seizure doesn't get out of hand before he completely hazes out. 

Coming back around always sucks. His surroundings look familiar but he’s really not sure why, much less why he’s here, and what’s he holding? Oh, that’s right. His hair.

His fucking hair.

Well, now he can’t move. Not even if he wanted to and here’s the real kicker.

He really needs to pee.

He can feel the tears building in his eyes as his mind supplies that it was a very stupid decision to get out of bed alone because that’s what he’s been reduced to now, a burden that can’t be left to his own devices.

God, he was so pathetic.

His head is pounding as the tears spill and he really can’t take this anymore, his whole body is wracked with tremors as he loses control, his soft cries bouncing off the walls in the early morning air,

“Help…. S-s-s-someone p-p-please help me”

He’s whispering, why is he whispering? No one can hear him and yet he can speak any louder than this and he feels hot all over as he cries, his head hitting the back of the wall in defeat, 

No one can hear him, no one cares, why should they care.

It's all too much and nothing at the same time and he feels like he’s going to fall apart and get squished at the same time and it’s all so confusing, 

“Mama…. Mama please, I- I need help”

Why is he calling for his mom? She never comes when he calls… where is he anyway? He has no idea where he is but he really needs someone and all he can think about is someone with soft chilly hands and someone with a big warm embrace and-

“Dad…. Dad help me please… Mama.. someone please help”

He wants to die. Why can’t he just die already….

Joyce is up in an instant. 

Her heart is pounding out of her chest and at first, she thinks it’s a nightmare but then there's a sickening feeling in her gut that’s she felt when Will went missing-

She tore out of her room and threw Will’s door open. 

He was still asleep, his books spread out and his foot hanging off the bed.

Safe.

So why had she-

“Mama….. Mama please I- I need help”

Her heart hit the floor as she fled to the bathroom, dropping to her knees in an instant and scooping Steve up into her arms wildly assessing him for damage as he sobbed into her arms, 

“No no no, it’s ok baby, it’s alright don’t cry, Mama’s here now, please don’t cry sweetheart, Mama’s gonna fix it”

He buried his nose into her neck, his face was flushed and hot and panic spiked in her as she realized that he felt feverish as she carefully lifted him and shifted so he was sitting on her lap when-

“Oh, sweetheart… what happened love?”

He sobbed harder into her, dropping the clippers as he grasped her nightshirt and held on for dear life. 

Joyce felt tears spilling over as she buried him into her, holding him so close that she’d bury him deep in her chest if she could to keep him safe,

“It’s alright honey, Mama’s here now… I have you, I have you, I’m not gonna let go,”

She has no clue what happened. She has no idea how long he’s been in here all by himself and it makes her sick, but there’s evidence on the floor, and he tried to cut his hair and he’s sweating and trembling in her arms and still somehow cold to the touch, 

“Deep breathes doll, in and out. Just like this. Follow my lead ok? In… and out…. Good! Good. you’re doing so good,”

He slowly unravel into her, the familiar weight of her hand on his head as she hummed softly, still instructing him on his breathing every time he stopped until they were sitting in the silence, just the sound of his rattle breathing and her cracking humming.

There was a part of her that wanted to go wake Jim up, and another that was hoping Jonathan was ok because he was a light sleeper and if Steve snuck out then he must be so exhausted and her poor boy has already been through enough.

They’ve all been through enough.

Why can’t her beautiful family catch a break?

“I have an idea dear, it’s not a conventional one, but it’s something that helps me relax. Wanna give it a try?”

Steve nodded softly against her neck, his hand making shaky shapes on her forearm.