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Steve had not planned on getting this drunk. In fact, he hadn’t really planned on getting drunk at all. Tonight was just supposed to be a good time to wind down from the horrid week he had somehow managed to stumble through. A break from the constant stress of slinging ice cream all day with Robin while senior citizens screamed at them for being out of Chocolate Dipped Banana Bonanza on a Monday at noon. A chill night out, where he didn’t have to deal with the shitheads bugging him about driving them around all day.
Instead, Steve had found himself in the midst of a drinking game with Robin, sat in the empty kitchen of someone’s house, while the sounds of Queen loudly bumped in the background from the living room full of various other wasted teenagers.
“Strawberries and Cream! Ha! That’s 27 for me and 23 for you. Drink up, Harrington,” Robin shouted into Steve’s face, leaning forward and lazily slapping her arm on his. Clearly already very drunk.
“Yeah, yeah, fine. You only won this time because I let you, you know,” he replied, pushing her hand from his arm and losing his balance on the stool as he did so.
“Oh surrree! King Steve’s having a little trouble coping with his loss, I see.”
“No! I totally knew the answer to Henderson’s order, I just fudged it to save you from complete and utter embarrassment, because I am a gentleman,” he responded, a slight slur in his words.
“Whatever, that’s a total lie. Anyways, I win, that means you have to do the dare.”
“Fine. If you think you can throw a dare my way that I can’t handle, you are sorely mistaken.”
“You wish. I’ve got one that’ll totally blow your socks off. Strap in, dingus, because I dare you…”
But Steve didn’t hear the rest. He was too busy focusing on the fact that the alcohol was suddenly deciding it didn’t agree with being in his stomach. The world went wobbly and fuzzy all at once, his lower abdomen ached, his face had gone red hot, and his head was spinning. Steve lurched forward, grabbing Robin’s arms with his sweaty palms, attempting to stable himself.
“Woahhh. You alright? You’re pulling me down with you, dingus.”
Robin grabbed a hold of Steve, feeling off balance herself, and barely more aware than he was.
“Yeah uh-“ Steve’s voice strained, “I uh. I think I just need some air real quick. Or maybe like a trash can? Oh God. The room’s spinning. Rob. Is it spinning for you? Fuck, I overdid it.”
Steve stumbled away from Robin, heading for the front door. If he didn’t get outside now, the contents of his stomach would be all over the floor. Robin called out after him, attempting to get to her feet. All Steve could think was nice going, idiot, as he stumbled about through the crowds to get to the front door. He could feel it coming up. Sour liquid burning in his throat, death imminent.
“Move!” He shouted, pushing people aside from the door and tearing it open, his heart pounding and eyes watering. Steve sees black, his vision fading as he tumbles out the door and hits something solid.
“Woah dude. Are you okay?”
The words echo through Steve’s head as he heaves and falls to his knees on the grass and empties out nearly all of the alcohol in his system. Sweaty and exhausted, he breathes out a heavy breath and leans back onto his knees. Wavy brown hair and leather swim in his vision as he sees a hand come out to grab his shoulder. Someone is crouched down in front of him on the lawn holding him steady, but Steve cannot make out their face for the life of him.
“Breathe. Just breathe for a second, okay? You’re good. You’re okay,” he hears a voice soothing him in his stupor. Stupid.How could he let himself get this far? He never drinks this much, and he hadn’t even wanted to drink in the first place. Fucking Robin. She always brought out his competitive side. And now he was paying the price. Something snaps him out of his thoughts as he realizes someone is rubbing his arm. Oh right. He totally fell into someone right before he puked his guts out. Steve is trying to hone his focus in on who’s in front of him when he hears his name being hollered.
“Steve! Oh my god Steve are you okay? Oh. Hey, Eddie.”
“Robin, thank God. What happened?”
Steve hears words being exchanged, but he can’t quite make out what the words are. His head hurts so bad and everything is fading in and out.
“Drinking game. He’ll be fine,” she breathes out, doubling over, hands on her knees, feeling a little nauseous herself.
“Do you guys need a ride home? I just got here, and I didn’t even really want to come to begin with. I can take you.”
“I actually came with Nance, I’m gonna try and stumble my way to her,” she stops to breathe. “Can you take care of Steve though?”
“Yeah, of course.”
The mumbling is gone from Steve’s ears and suddenly he feels arms wrapping around his chest and pulling him upwards. He leans back into them, too physically spent to care about who is currently lifting him from the cool grass.
“Steve, can you stand dude? C’mon I’ll help you walk to the car. Just lean on my side.”
All Steve hears is “lean on my side,” so he leans into the warmth next to him and lets his body be pulled along. Someone’s arm is wrapped around his waist, and all Steve can think of is how good their hair smells, as he leans into it. Strong scents of mint and something citrussy hit his nose, almost sobering him up in the slightest. Steve thinks the smell is really familiar as he notices the feeling of cool metal laced through the fingers on his right hand as it’s held to his own waist. His head starts to clear up a little and pieces start to float back. Brown wavy hair, leather, mint, metal.
“Eddie?”
***
This was not how Eddie had expected his night to go. He hadn’t really been interested in going to the party in the first place, so it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing that he had been stopped from ever entering it, especially when Steve Harrington had been the reason why. And now he was blearily leaning onto the dashboard of Eddie’s van, drunk and barely aware that Eddie was in his presence. His yellow crewneck was covered in alcohol, both undigested and regurgitated, and he looked completely spent. Eddie felt for him, this was never a fun position to be in.
“Hey, Steve.” Silence. “Can you hear me?” A slight nod and groan. “I’m gonna take you back to mine because I don’t want to leave you alone all night. Is that okay, Stevie?” Steve lets out a sound that resembles yes, so Eddie puts it in drive and heads towards the trailer. They sit in silence for a while, the radio buzzing quietly in the background as streetlights pass above. Eddie sits in the silence and lets his thoughts wander, keeping an eye on Steve in the passenger seat. He thinks about how strange it is that a few months ago he didn’t know Steve. He had passed him in the hallways, heard all the rumors, and witnessed a lot of Steve standing by as Tommy bullied Eddie and his Hellfire friends, but he never knew him. Not until the Upside Down. Before everything he had thought that Steve was a self-righteous asshole. And back then he would’ve been right. But now. Now Steve was kind, and caring, and he gave so much of himself to the people around him. Eddie saw the way he looked after all the kids, and the way he completely supported Robin and Nancy. The way he overworked himself for the benefit of everyone else. Things had changed. Steve was not a homophobic douchebag; he was a lovable idiot with so much love and light in his heart for those around him. Eddie saw that. And his heart saw that too.
And then things really began to change when Steve started calling. The first time, Eddie was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. The last few nights had been rough on him. Every time he closed his eyes, he could feel the demobats gnawing on his chest. Could hear the sound of their teeth tearing out his flesh. Would suffer in the cold suffocating silence of being alone in his room. But this night, the phone rang, breaking the silence for the first time in a long time. Eddie jumped about a mile high at first, but then groggily reached for the phone, confused and horribly exhausted.
“Hello?”
“Eds? I’m really sorry to wake you but I think I’m- dying?” there’s a break in his voice. “Every time I close my eyes, I can feel the demobat’s tail choking me to death and I can see you lying motionless and bloody in that horrible place and I can feel dread pooling in my stomach, and I can’t breathe, Eddie, I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m dying and I can’t sleep. I can’t keep watching you die, Eddie. You died. For like a minute, but you died. And I can’t. Breathe.”
Eddie hears the panic in Steve’s voice and the shallow breaths coming in and out through the receiver. He knows this feeling.
“Steve, it’s okay. Just focus on breathing as slow as you can, it’s okay.”
The line is silent for a while, save for the sounds of Steve’s heavy breathing.
“Can I come over? Could you come get me, Eds? I can’t drive right now, I can’t think right now,” he rushes out.
“I’ll be there in 10. Hang on, Stevie.”
And then the calls would come more often. Once or twice a week, four times a week, until it was nearly every single day. The phone would ring, and Eddie would know. And every night Steve would come over, and they’d talk about everything. The nightmares, the paranoia, the pain. Steve would trace his fingers over Eddie’s scars, feeling comfort in knowing he wasn’t alone. They’d talk and talk until they couldn’t anymore, and then Steve would finally fall asleep, usually in Eddie’s lap. The next morning he’d leave for work and the cycle would start all over again. They had grown so close, and yet, Eddie couldn’t figure him out. He’d watch Steve trace his fingers down his scars, feel them burning into his skin, and he’d think of kissing him. But Steve had never been with a guy. And sometimes Eddie thought Steve seemed interested in him, but maybe he wasn’t. Maybe Eddie was a hopeless romantic who had confused a supportive friendship for something more.
“Eds? I feel awful. Where- are we going?”
The sound of Steve’s voice snaps Eddie out of his thoughts. He’s still considerably drunk, the words coming out slowly and slurred together.
“We’re going home.”
“Home? I don’t like my home. Can we go somewhere else?”
‘We’re going to the trailer, Steve. Home.” Eddie doesn’t know why he says it, but it feels right. Steve has practically been living there anyways.
“Hey. I know the guy who lives there. He’s really cool. Like really cool. All metal and minty. I like him.”
Eddie laughs, surprised that Steve is so out of it that he’s managed to forget who he’s sitting next to in a matter of thirty seconds.
“Metal and mint huh?” Eddie teases, smirking in Steve’s direction.
Steve leans against the window, body limp and tired.
“Yeah. Mint and cool metal on my skin. When he traces my scars. It feels nice. Do you know him?’
“Yeah, Steve, I know him,” he giggles.
Steve’s eyebrows turn in, pinched in slight confusion. But then he’s talking again.
“And he’s kind of pretty too. Like his eyes. They’re so brown. And his hair is so soft and nice. And his smile-is like sunshine. He’s really pretty.”
Eddie doesn’t know what to say. Steve thinks he’s pretty? Does this mean he feels something more too? No. No there’s no way. Steve is just way too wasted.
“I don’t think you know what you’re saying, Stevie. Just sleep, we’re almost there.”
“Almost home? I miss home. Will Eddie be there? He’s really nice.”
“Yes, Steve. Eddie will be there.”
“Okay. Can I tell you a secret?” He picks his head up off the window and leans forward into his hands, laughing hysterically into them.
“Yeah, of course,” Eddie responds, a smile stretching over his face.
“I think I like him.”
WHAT
“What?” The smile falls off Eddie’s face. His eyes shoot open, and his heart feels like it’s going to tumble out of his chest.
“I like him.”
“Who, Steve?”
“Eddie. He’s really pretty.”
Eddie’s head is spinning now and thank God they’re almost home because he doesn’t know if he can keep driving without crashing the car right now. Eddie thinks this has to be a mistake. Steve likes him? He thinks he’s cool. And pretty. And he likes him? No. This has to be the alcohol talking. I mean, yeah, they’ve gotten close and Eddie totally has a crush on Steve but Steve’s never said anything or done anything to show interest like that. At least, nothing Eddie’s picked up on. This has to be a dream, Eddie thinks. No, yeah. It’s just the alcohol talking.
“Um, yeah. He is.”
“Yeah. He takes care of me. And sometimes,” Steve swallows, head lulling to the side, “sometimes I think he likes me, too. His lips look so soft. I wish he’d kiss me.”
Okay. Fucking what.
“Steve. You’re drunk, and we’re home. Time to go to bed, okay?”
“Where’s Eddie?”
“He’s inside, c’mon let’s go.”
Steve brightens up at the mention of Eddie, and Eddie is absolutely losing it. His cheeks have gone red, his heart is thundering in his chest, and his eyes are blown wide. Jesus. Steve just told him he wishes Eddie would kiss him. What planet is he on? Is he just supposed to forget about this when Steve inevitably doesn’t remember it in the morning? How is he even supposed to ignore that though? What the fuck is going on? This can’t be coming from Steve. He won’t remember tomorrow, and Eddie will end up heartbroken and disappointed. Yeah. He’ll just have to ignore it. Eddie walks around to the other side of the car and pulls Steve up and out, walking him to the door.
“I’m tired. Can I go to sleep now?’
“Yes, Steve. You can go to sleep now.”
Eddie walks Steve to his bedroom and lays him down on the bed. Steve has gone much quieter now, his eyes already fluttering closed, and breath slowing.
“Put your arms up Steve, I’m gonna get this sweatshirt off of you, okay?”
Steve grumbles and throws his arms above his head. Eddie pulls the sweater off, averting his eyes, though he’s seen Steve shirtless many times, it feels wrong to look when he’s in this state. He throws the sweater in his dirty laundry pile and fishes an Iron Maiden shirt out of his drawer.
“Okay, Stevie, arms back up.” He slides the shirt over his arms and head and pulls the comforter over him, leaving him to sleep in peace. He’ll take the couch tonight. And process all of what just happened tomorrow.
***
Steve feels fucking awful.
His head is absolutely pounding, and his eyes feel like they’re going to roll out of his head. Holy shit. What the hell happened last night? He tries hard to reel through his memories, but all he can come up with is Robin, a front yard? And… Eddie? Why was Eddie at the party? He hates parties. And wait a minute…where is he?
Steve’s eyes focus in on his surroundings. A Metallica poster. Definitely not his. A bright red guitar. Nope, not his either. Iron Maiden shirt…black comforter…oh fuck. He’s in Eddie’s bed. And also Eddie’s clothes. How did he even get here? When did he get here? Steve is having a full-on crisis in Eddie Munson’s bed and where the hell is Eddie? As if on cue,
“Oh. You’re up. Are you feeling okay?” Eddie’s voice comes from the doorway. Steve turns towards him, a rush of dizziness going straight to his head.
“Woahhh, ow. My head hurts. What happened? How did I get here? And why I am I wearing your shirt?”
Eddie’s mouth turns down a little in the corners.
“You don’t remember any of last night?”
Steve tries really hard to remember. But nothing. Eddie seems disappointed. Steve wonders why.
“No. Not really. I remember getting really wasted, I think? But I can’t get anything else. Will you tell me what happened?”
Eddie goes quiet, shifting awkwardly.
“Actually, I’m gonna run some errands and then uh-then we can talk later, okay? I left some water on the nightstand and some pain killers, you should probably take those and go back to sleep. I’ll be back soon.”
Steve is confused. Something seems really off with Eddie, and Steve can’t remember anything that might clue him in. Did he say something last night? He didn’t answer any of his questions, just seemed disappointed. Eddie is standing in the doorway still, looking stiff and uncomfortable. What did Steve do?
“Um. Okay. Sure.”
“Feel better, Stevie.”
And then he’s gone.
Come 4pm, Steve has regained some memory. After a long, much needed nap, things are coming back. He’s still missing some large chunks, but he knows he played a drinking game with Robin, way overdid it, and ended up throwing up everything on the lawn out front. And he thinks that may have been when Eddie showed up, but he can’t remember much else. He’s sitting in Eddie’s bed, the soft comforter bringing back memories of the last time he was sat in this spot.
Steve was lazily dragging his fingers along the edges of Eddie’s scars, taking in the feeling of knowing he wasn’t alone. That someone else had experienced the demobats. Someone else had felt the gnawing, the pain, the fear. This wasn’t the first time they’d ended up in bed like this. It had been weeks and weeks of sitting in Eddie’s dimly lit room, lying beside each other as they talked about what it had felt like. What it had been like to fight hopelessly while you were ripped apart. But after a while, they got tired of reliving it, and just wanted to forget it. So, they’d spend hours, late into the night, lying together and talking about anything and everything. Steve would talk about how Robin had come to him and told him about Nancy. How he had felt shock at first, but then immense happiness for the two women he cared about more than anything in the world. And Eddie would talk about Hellfire with the kids, and how they always made his day just a little bit better. It was warm, and safe, and nobody could take this time away from them. I was their time. Their time to grieve and laugh and forgive and forget. And Steve wouldn’t trade it for anything. Tonight, they were lying there silently, Steve’s fingers tracing over Eddie’s raised skin, his eyes tracing over Eddie’s form. There was a soft orange light from Eddie’s desk lamp lighting over Eddie’s skin and hair, causing a honey golden glow to fall over him. God, what would Steve do without him? How would he have ever gotten through it this time if Eddie’s beautiful brown eyes had never opened again? If his sunshine smile never graced Steve’s eyes ever again? Steve needed him like water. Needed his soft, gentle hands in the dark night. His smooth voice soothing all of his fears away. His insanely funny sense of humor to make him laugh all his hurt away. He needed him.
“Eds?”
“Yeah Stevie?” Eddie was sitting directly in front of him now, leaned back a little on a pillow, his eyes shut as Steve softly dragged his fingers along his chest.
“Thank you.” His fingers come to a slow stop.
Eddie opens his eyes and sits up, eyes meeting Steve’s. And wow, they’re so brown and beautiful, Steve gets lost in them for a minute.
“For what?”
“For this. I’ve never really had a support system before. And I just…it means a lot to me that you let me stay here. I don’t know what I’d do without you. The nightmares used to get so bad. But when I’m here, with you…they go away. When I’m with you, I feel safe. When I’m with you I’m…” Steve trails off, losing the words.
Eddie’s eyes soften, and his hand reaches out to grab Steve’s. He pulls his fingers into his hand, cool metal burning into Steve’s flesh. Their eyes meet again, Eddie’s boring into Steve’s with a gentle intensity. Steve feels Eddie’s thumb sliding up and down on his, slow and smooth. And all Steve can think about is closing the distance. He wishes Eddie would just do it. Lean in and kiss him like there’s no tomorrow. But he doesn’t. Instead, he reaches out and begins to trace Steve’s scars.
“Not alone,” Eddie says.
“Yeah.”
Steve is brought back to reality as the trailer door slams shut. Okay, so that was loud. Ouch. Clearly, he’s not fully recovered from this horrendous hang over. Moments later he hears footsteps and a knock on the door.
“Stevie? Are you awake?”
Steve runs his fingers though his hair, nerves wracking through his system. His voice returns quietly, “Yeah. I’m up.”
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
The door slowly creaks open, and Eddie peaks his head in, eyes meeting Steve’s with concern. Steve feels like something bad is coming.
“How do you feel now?” Eddie asks, as he pushes the door open and crosses the room to sit at the foot of the bed. Steve notices he’s not wearing his usual leather jacket and chains, but a pair of black sweatpants and a band shirt. He loves when Eddie dresses down, he always looks so cozy.
“Um. I feel okay. My head still hurts, and I still can’t remember some things. Are you okay, Eds? You look worried. It’s kind of scaring me.”
Eddie looks like he’s debating something, sitting silently as he looks down at the bed.
“Do you remember how you got here last night?”
“No, that’s the one thing I can’t seem to remember. Eds. Did I say something wrong?”
Eddie laughs. He laughs. And now Steve is really scared because why is he laughing? It’s a sarcastic kind of laugh, and Eddie’s smiling, but his eyes look sad. Oh, God. What did he do?
“What’s funny?”
“Um. No. You didn’t say something wrong, Stevie. Nope. Not something wrong, something kind of sweet? But also really confusing. I mean you were drunk, Steve. I couldn’t figure you out. I didn’t know if you even knew what you were saying.”
Okay. Sweet but confusing? What the hell did he say?
“Okay. I’m not following. Can you just tell me what happened? I can see you’re upset. I just want to know how I can fix that. You mean a lot to me, Eds.”
Eddie’s face goes a little soft, like maybe he’s just melted.
“Okay. So uh, I had just arrived at the party, not that I wanted to be there in the first place, and I was walking up to the front door when you came running out of it. you stumbled down the front porch steps and into me, and then threw up like…everywhere. I tried to ask if you were okay, but you were so out of it, you hardly even knew I was there. Then Robin came out, saw you were in good hands, and left to find Nance. So, I took you home.”
Home. Home? Was this home?
“Okay. Did I miss something? I still don’t know what I said.”
Steve is thoroughly confused now, watching Eddie as he nervously twirls his hair in his hand and stares blankly at the floor. Like he’s building up to something.
“Eddie, please. Just tell me.”
His eyes fly back up to meet Steve’s.
“You said some things in the car. On the way home.”
Home. There it was again. And for the love of God would he spit it out already because Steve is dying here. What if he said something horrible and Eddie hates him now? What if the thing he’s building up to is kicking Steve out and telling him he never wants to see him again?
“Please just spit it out Eds, you’re killing me here. What did I do?”
“Okay, fine. So, you were so drunk you didn’t realize who you were in the car with, right? So, I brought up that we were heading here, and you started talking about “the guy who lives there,” aka: me, as if I wasn’t sitting right next to you,” his lips turn up into a small smile, the memories coming back.
Oh fuck. What the fuck did he say.
“Shit. What did I say to you, Eds? I’m so sorry.”
Eddie leans forward and grabs Steve’s hands. There’s a small smile still across his face as he leans in closer.
“You said I was really cool,” he laughs, “That I am ‘mint and metal,’” he quotes with a bit of a mocking tone, “and that my rings feel nice on your skin when I trace your scars.”
Okay. That’s not so bad. What else could he have said?
“Then you said,” a large smile breaks across Eddie’s face, “that I’m pretty, and my hair is soft, and my smile is like sunshine.”
Steve’s heart drops out of his chest. Oh no. Steve knows where this must be heading.
“And then you said you had to tell me a secret,” Eddie’s eyes go back to the floor, he looks nervous again.
“A secret?”
“Yeah. It was uh- you said that- you said that you like me.”
Steve feels a different kind of wave of nausea hit him. What the fuck did he do?! Eddie’s probably about to tell him that he doesn’t feel that way about him. That they can’t see each other anymore because it’d be too awkward. That he’d never see Steve in that way. Steve can hear it now. His support system gone. Everything gone. Oh, fuck. Why did he have to fall for him?
“Eddie. I-“
“And then you said that sometimes-you wish I’d kiss you,” his eyes find Steve’s. He looks unsure as he watches Steve process everything.
Ohhhh shit. Now he’s really fucked. Steve’s jaw drops open, searching for something to say. His eyes are desperately trying to read Eddie’s, frantically searching them for a sign of something. He feels a squeeze on his hand.
“I was afraid. That because you were drunk,” his fingers walk up Steve’s leg, “you didn’t mean any of it, Steve,” his hand falls flat against the top of Steve’s leg. “I knew you wouldn’t remember it.” Eddie looks wounded as he searches Steve for a response.
“Eddie, I uh- I don’t-um.”
“It’s okay, Steve. I understand if you want to leave and stop coming over. I know you probably didn’t mean it and I mean…who was I to believe it right?” He laughs, eyes welling up. “Who was I to believe that maybe Steve Harrington had feelings for me too? I was foolish. I let myself believe that you wanted something more too. That night, Steve. The last night you were here. When you said that I made you feel safe. That you were grateful for me, and you looked at me like- like you wanted to… I- I almost kissed you. God, I wanted to. But you don’t feel that way, and that’s okay, Stevie. That’s okay. I’m still here, I’ll always be here-
“Eds.”
“And I mean that’s what matters, right? That we still have each other no matter what because-
“Eddie.”
“We need each other, and I won’t let my feelings get in the way, I won’t, Steve, I-
Suddenly Steve’s lips are on Eddie’s. Everything feels frozen in time because oh my god did Steve just do that? Did he just lean in and do that? Oh God, it’s so nice though. Eddie’s eyes flutter shut, his hands have come up to Steve’s cheeks and suddenly he’s pulling Steve in. Their lips sliding together softly and carefully, both of them melting into one another. He’s been wanting this for so long, and it feels so good. Steve’s hands come up into Eddie’s hair, as he leans in more and more, desperately kissing his lips like they hold the key to happiness. And Steve has never been happier. He kisses, and kisses into Eddie’s mouth, speeding up and bringing his lips down to Eddie’s neck.
“Steve- fuck.”
Steve comes back up, locks eyes with Eddie.
“I’ve been wanting to kiss you for forever. I wanted to kiss you that night too, I nearly did,” he laughs.
Eddie breaks out into the biggest grin.
“Steve, I like you so much. Like holy shit, it’s been unbearable. You are so fucking lovely and sweet and caring and holy shit I’m gonna shut up now so I can kiss you again.”
He leans in, pushing Steve onto his back and leaning over him. Steve’s eyes go wide as he leans down over him and kisses him hard. They’re full-on making out before they know it and Eddie is trailing kisses down Steve’s neck and torso, kissing all around his scars.
“Not alone.” Steve says breathlessly.
“Yeah,” Eddie returns with a smile.