Work Text:
No one has ever thought that someone like him would experienced an assault. Not that he would blame them, it’s just something that’s uncommon within the society. As an alpha, it’s usually him who does the assault towards omega’s and beta’s not the other way around.
He knew that if he told them what happened, they wouldn’t believe him. Hell, the company would probably try to cover it up too. Bad reputation and everything. Worse, they would kick him out.
Not that he would blame them.
He just…
He just thought that it’s probably better if he kept his mouth shut.
And so, he did. For as long as he possibly could.
Not like anyone would dare ask him something like a sexual assault nor expect his secret to be one. Whenever there’s a game of Truth or Dare, he dig his safer secret such as he used to peed on his bed until he was 10 (not that it’s something no one would do) and got scolded for it or he used to run in a marathon outside of the country and almost won.
That’s much safer to reveal.
If he told them that he used to be sexually assaulted by one of their dance teachers, he didn’t think that he could see their reaction to it.
He also tried to suppress his flinching towards someone cornering him or staring him down (even though he is taller than them). He managed to not flinch whenever someone hugged him or put a hand around his waist, so it should be easy right? Managing his flinch or his horrified expression whenever someone is cornering him or staring him down?
It took him a longer time to suppress that, but he somehow manage. Although it wasn’t complete, at least he managed to suppress it to barely noticeable.
He wasn’t satisfied, of course, he wasn’t. Perhaps it’s also due to his personality being someone who is attentive to details, he always somehow noticed how he flinched if someone was being a bit too close to him without him initiating said act first.
How he jumped at almost any surprise noise. How he easily got scared.
He knew that the others probably labeled it as him being a scaredy-cat, feeling relieved that no one think much of it. He was aware that he couldn’t hide it forever, not with his career being an idol who performed in front of many people. Someday his secret will come out. He knew that.
But, it doesn’t have to be right now, does it?
***
I-LAND was probably one of the hardest few months of his life. There was cameras everywhere, except for the bathroom.
Koga usually went there whenever he needed to take a breather, locking the door behind him. He somehow always finds that silence is comforting compared to his loud thoughts.
He came close to other trainees finding out, somehow always managing to escape before his secret was revealed. Seems like Lady Luck is on his side.
Not for long, though.
It was after one of the days before another elimination performance that Jay, a fellow alpha approached him with a worried look on his face.
Koga knew that Jay has been particularly worried about the ranking. It was just yesterday, after all, that they talked and talked about the past, present and future.
He raised an eyebrow, “Something wrong?” He asked.
Jay shook his head, reaching out a hand to hug him probably. It was too sudden for Koga that he immediately flinched and took a step back.
The younger’s expression turned from worry to hurt briefly before it changed into a mix of both worry and rage. “I knew it,” He mumbled softly, “I freaking knew it.”
Koga cursed internally. How come he had to flinch right at that moment? He knew that his emotions had been all over the place these last few months, but he didn’t realise it has gotten this bad.
Usually, he is more calm and composed compared to this, so why did it has to happen right now?
He tried to be calm, though, forcing his lips into a smile, “Knew what, Jay-ah?”
The younger looked at him with fingers curling into a fist, “Who did it?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Tell me, who did it, hyung?”
He swore he could feel his heart stopped beating for a second, “Did what, Jay?”
“Who touch you, hyung?” There was determination, sadness, rage, and sorrow in the younger’s eyes.
“I don’t understand,” He tilted his head to the side, trying to be as calm as possible, “You’re not making any sense, Jay-ah.”
“Who assaulted you, god dammit!” Jay screamed, “Who did it to you?!” Tears started to form on the younger’s eyes, “I…Someone did something similar to me,” He added quietly, “I managed to get treated before it got this bad, but I know the symptoms,” He reached his hand out again, this time waiting for Koga to do the first move.
For the first time, he crumbles. He reached towards Jay’s hand and hugged the younger tightly as if he was afraid that if he ever lets go, he would be back to that place again. Where everything started.
Between sobs, he told the younger everything. Everything that he tried to hide from the world. The entire time he told his story, Jay didn’t say anything. The younger moved his hand up and down his back comfortingly, assuring him that he didn’t have to tell everything if he wasn’t ready.
But, it was as if the walls he built to look perfect crumbled.
“How long?” Koga asked, his voice hoarse from all the crying, “How long did you know?”
Jay shrugged, “A few weeks. I suspected that something like this happened or at least something similar happened to you, but it wasn’t until a few minutes ago that I was sure it did happen.”
They talked that night, the two of them moving towards another place that’s more comfortable (standing in the bathroom is not something very ideal for this kind of conversation, after all).
“You have to let someone know,” Jay turned towards him with a concerned expression, “This has been built up for far too long, hyung, you have to let someone know.”
Koga shook his head ‘no’. “You know the stereotypes for our kind, Jay-ah. You know that no one will believe me if I ever said something like this, especially not the company.”
“Hyung,” The younger sighed, “I let them know and they helped me through everything. They even make sure that the person who assaulted me pay for their crime.”
He shook his head again, “I’m fine, Jay-ah. I have already dealt with this long enough to know that I’m fine. That guy’s gone, anyway, so I’ll be fine.”
He didn’t know if he was convincing Jay or himself that night.
***
Everything was fine. Or, as fine as it could be when you reached the final round of I-LAND and then found out that you didn’t make it into the final lineup.
He was sad, yes, but he knew that there’s hope that he can debut, one day. The company’s not stupid enough to let someone as talented as him or the others go that easily. They have shown the world what they’re capable of, some of the trainees that made it into the season 2 of I-LAND are talented and amazing. Even some of the trainees who got eliminated or a GROUNDER are talented, although their talents were outshined by others, including himself.
He stared at the mirror, noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes. He must have stayed up a little too much preparing for the finals.
“I never thought that I would find you here,” That voice made him froze on the spot, eyes wide, “It’s been a while, Koga.”
“How…”
“Oh, please,” The man scoffed, “You can’t get rid of me that easily, my boy. Besides,” There was hunger in those eyes as well as lust, “I saw that you have a great body in I-LAND.”
“You…you’re not supposed to be here.”
The man raised an eyebrow, a smirk present, “Oh, but I am here. We can have all the fun we used to have back then.”
His nightmare happened again.
***
The second time his walls crumbled was during one of the dance classes. By then, it has already been 2 years since the end of I-LAND. The past 2 years, all he did was train, and well, reliving his nightmare.
He met two Alphas and one Beta, Nicholas, Euijoo, and Taki. The four of them grew close, sharing the same experience of participating in I-LAND.
When the man entered the room, his eyes grew wide and he froze. He knew that his scent would turn sour and perhaps even scared when he saw the man.
Koga knew that the other could smell it, knew that he was distressed. Hell, he could even feel an incoming panic attack.
He didn’t realise that he was shaking until a tentative hand gently grasped his wrist. He flinched, turning his head to the side to see Euijoo who looked worried. Someone stepped in front of him and the man, growling. Nicho, he thought absentmindedly.
On his other side, he could feel that Taki was rubbing a comforting hand on his arm.
“Guys?” Their main dance teacher frowned, “What’s going on?”
The man also looked confused, glancing at them with confused expression, laying his eyes a little bit longer at Koga compared to the others.
“Please get that man outside,” He didn’t have it in him to chide Nicholas for his rude tone, “We don’t want him in here.”
“That’s rude, Nicholas!” Their main dance teacher scolded, “This place is not yours, it’s the company’s and you have no right to say something like that to someone you barely know.”
The growl grew louder. By now, the younger has already bared his teeth, eyes starting to turn yellow.
Koga knew. He knew that if he didn’t step in, something bad will happen. He knew how protective Nicholas can be as well as the others. They would do anything to make sure he’s comfortable enough in the room.
“That man will not work in this company again, sir,” He said, reaching to his pocket and produced a flashdrive, “I have proof that he has done many offences towards trainees both male and female.” Including me, he added silently.
“What…what do you mean?”
“You can be sure that I will bring this to the higher up, before long, that man will have his whole career ruined,” He gestured towards the man with his chin and a glare, “Now, if you excuse me, I have to go to the producer’s office to hand this in.”
He turned on his heels and stride as fast as he can towards the door. He could hear footsteps following him. Once he was sure that he was far enough from the practice room, he leaned against the wall and slid down.
Koga closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. It’s okay, it’s okay, he thought to himself. It’s okay, nothing will happen, it’s okay. That man will be gone, it’s okay.
“Hey,” Euijoo called softly, “Are you okay?”
He forced a small smile, “I’m fine, don’t worry. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“You look like you are about to break down on the spot,” Taki said behind him, eyes pooling with unshed tears, “I…we were scared that something may happen to you.”
“It’s fine,” He shook his head, “I’m sure that I scared all of you with what happen. It’s nothing I can’t handle, don’t worry.”
“What happened?” Nicholas’s eyes were shining with worry, “What happened between you and that man?”
“It’s…” Koga bit his lips, contemplating, “It’s a long story.”
“We have time,” The other two nodded their heads, “We have all the time in the world. You don’t have to tell us now if you’re not ready, we can wait. As long as you need.”
Words spilled out of his mouth after that. He told them everything he experienced with that man. He had to stop a few times, though, trying his best to get the words out. The other three waited patiently, assuring him that it’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.
Once he was done, they were a complete mess of limbs and tears. He was in the middle of everything, the others tried their best to hug him even though it means it may be a bit uncomfortable for them.
The four of them went to Bang PD’s office, Euijoo stepping up and told the older man what happened. The PD was shocked and furious. He gently told them to go back to the dorm and rest up, clearing their classes for a week. Then, with a stern voice, he told one of the staff to call that man.
The other three refused to leave Koga’s side, all the way home. One of them were always at his side, holding his hand. Once they were back at the dorms, he went to the couch and closed his eyes.
Faintly, he could hear that someone was moving around the kitchen, others were walking around the dorm for god knows what.
He knew then that they were going to be okay. Even if only a little bit.