Chapter Text
Izuku was four when his quirk came in.
Sitting on the floor, crayon in hand, he had been trying to draw the dogs he and Mummy were watching on the telly, the ones who were rounding up the sheep for the farmer. He watched breathlessly as a black and white one raced across the big green field, and suddenly wished with all his heart to run like that, to be useful like that, and the room tipped over as he fell, all four legs tangled up.
Lying there, round puppy belly heaving in excited gasps as he tried to make sense of what had just happened, he gave a yelping whine when Mummy yelled “IZUKU!!!”
The shock in her voice, the volume, the weirdness of what had just happened to him all combined to be suddenly frightening, and, giving a huge sob, he felt himself change back to normal and lay in a huddle, sobbing loudly as he waited for Mummy to pick him up like she always did when he fell down but this time, this time she stayed on the couch, frozen in…
And now he was crying even harder cause Mummy looked scared and anything that scared Mummy was bad, like, really bad!
It felt like forever had gone by when she finally helped him up, turning the tv to a cartoon, saying that everything was okay, that he was going to be fine and yes, it really was exciting for him, his quirk coming in was wonderful, and how exciting to be able to turn into a puppy and after a little while she said, “How about you go play in your own room now, Daddy's home and I need to talk to him!” And then he was in his room and he could hear his parents talking.
Waiting for his Daddy to come in and tell him how cool, how amazing, how wonderful his quirk was, he was surprised that instead, their voices just got louder and louder.
Getting scared now at the raised voices, the sound of things breaking, he crawled under his bed, wanting to cover his ears but also wanting to understand what was going on so instead he closed his eyes and listened. ‘I wonder what that word means?’ he thought as, with a final crescendo of screaming, glass breaking, and the world-ending slam of a door, only his mother's sobs could be heard.
It took him several years to truly work out what it all meant, how his father's fire breath and his mother's Pull simply couldn't combine to create a full-body transformative quirk. And what the word unfaithful really meant.
For now, he simply understood that his quirk somehow made Daddy go away and Mummy not love him anymore.
Kacchan loved it though, holding the soft black and white puppy almost as big as he was, he would snuggle his face into the insanely soft fluffy fur and giggle, saying, “We're gonna be the bestest heroes in the whole wide world Zuzu!”
For the next four weeks, he had the best time he had ever had but only at school where he could race around the playground, chasing balls and his tail, and being the hero in their games instead of the villain, and even giving fluffy cuddles to the shyest kids in his class to make them feel better.
But that was at school, home was a different matter altogether. Home was now new and frightening. He wasn't allowed to use his quirk at all at home and soon, if he made any noise at all Mummy yelled at him.
Then one night, Mummy made him get up and they left, leaving everything behind, moving to somewhere new where no one knew them, and he knew no one, and Mummy stayed mad at him all the time.
He learned to be quiet at home. To move like a shadow, to eat only what was given, to never ask for more. Their new apartment was tiny, not like their old home, and his new school was huge, over two thousand kids and not enough teachers. It wasn't bad as such and he enjoyed the work but it was hard to fit in, especially coming from a smaller, more personal school.
And Mummy insisted he not talk about his quirk, or show it to anyone either.
Their new life was lonely but Izuku tried his best to be the person his Mummy wanted him to be, and his classmates mostly ignored the new kid. After all, the class already had friend groups established, and, with only one overworked teacher per class, no one bothered to try to integrate him.
And time moved on.
****
Four-year-old Izuku learned new words the night his quirk came in but eight-year-old Izuku knew what they all meant now. They meant that Daddy wasn't his Daddy, that some other man was his Daddy and his quirk came from him, not his actual Daddy.
And that, when Mummies went with other Daddies, then real Daddies went away and everyone got really poor and moved to the worst parts of town just so they could afford to have a place to live and enough food to eat.
He wasn't really sure still as to why it was all his fault but Mummy said it was and surely Mummy should know so he was always really quiet, always did his homework on time, and never ever let her see him use his quirk.
The one time she had caught him she had hit him, causing him to yelp a shocked puppy kiyiyiyi and to change back to his human shape and then she kept hitting him, slapping and screaming and he managed to escape from her hands and he crawled under his bed where she kicked and screamed and stamped and finally, finally, left him, slamming and locking the door behind her.
It took him a long time to come out from under the bed, even longer for his cries to fade to whimpers and his tears to finally dry.
She never caught him again.
But she didn't stop him from using it, she just made him more careful.
Now he made sure she was still at work when he came in from school, short legs tired from the long walk, dropping his bag in his room before changing into his puppy shape and bouncing around the room. He could hold it now for well over an hour and, with the ball he had found on his way home one day, he would scamper and chase and roll and play until he couldn't hold the shape anymore, falling back into his human form and staggering into the kitchen.
Getting his afternoon snack from the fridge, usually onigiri or leftover dinner, he would wolf it down - giggling at his pun every time he thought of it - and then he would get his homework finished. If his Mummy still wasn't home, and she almost never was, he would go to the local park, an almost barren expanse of hard top, broken swings, slides that got hot enough to burn on a summers day, and monkey bars that were so high up that only the biggest, or bravest, kids could use them, but he loved it.
There he could pretend to be anyone, any hero, any animal, any dream he could imagine came true as he played pretend games by himself. A length of rope found in the gutter became a support item, a towel dragged from home his cape, and sometimes he even got to play with other kids when the heroes needed a villain to chase. He was always good at that, something about his quirk making him that bit faster, that bit more agile.
Only when darkness started falling, at last, would he go home, home to sit with an angry Mummy and silently eat his food, escaping to his room in silence.
And time passed.
*********
At ten Izuku learned he could be more than a dog. His puppy form had changed over the years and now, while still fluffy, he had much longer legs, his balance was great, well, except for tight turns, he still could trip himself up on those.
He had spent so many hours now, practicing in secret in the streets of his home Ward, hiding in the narrow stinking alleys as he learned what smells were what, how to jump and run and climb, and, shamefully…..how to beg.
The idea first came to him while watching a very old movie about a superhero dog and his cat friend. Well, they didn't start as friends but they worked it out, like he wished the older kids at school would work it out with him. But unlike the real world, in movies everything always worked out great and in one part the cat told the dog to make big sad eyes and beg for food and he did and they both got so much to eat that the cat even had a little round belly.
Izuku’s belly wasn’t round! It was always hollow and empty at home now. He still got food at school but he didn't get an after-school snack anymore and dinner sometimes didn’t happen if Mummy wasn't there, as she often wasn’t, or if she was drinking, which she did more and more now, and breakfast was only ever a slice of bread so hunger was a constant companion now.
Thinking about the dog in the movie, he thought, ‘I wonder if that would really work?’
Crouched in an alley, he looked at the people sitting at outside tables, eating the food he could smell from where he sat, stomach growling and mouth drooling. He swiped a paw across his muzzle to get rid of the wet and finally stood up, checked both ways, and then crossed the street.
Making his way to a table on the edge, where a family was gathered, he sat down, wagging his tail. When the little girl looked down at him and gave a giggle he sat right the way up, waving his paws at her. Hearing the adults go “Awwwwww!” he ramped it up, rubbing his paws over his face and sitting back down, doing his best to have "big sad eyes."
And it worked!
They tossed him bits of food as he rolled over, gave a paw, bounced in place, begged, and rolled over again.
He drew a small crowd, all of them keen to give him bites to eat. It was only when he heard someone say, “Is he lost, he’s sooooo friendly, he has to belong to someone, should someone take him to animal control do you think?” that he got spooked and ran, bolting back into the alley and down the corner. Making his way to where he had stashed his clothes he panted, “It worked, it worked!”
But he would have to be careful, if animal control got hold of him he would have to say he was human and then Mummy would get in trouble for him using his quirk, and then she might hurt him again and he was so afraid of her now. Yeah, he would have to be super duper careful.
Begging at cafes and street markets got him enough food, at last, to actually gain weight, to have extra energy, and while he did get chased away many times, and wasn't that frightening, he learned how to judge a crowd, how to pick his target audience - ones who threw food, not kicks - and he actually enjoyed it. Playing up to kids especially was fun, they always give him the most food and hugs, kids gave the best hugs.
Well, who doesn't love hugging a big fluffy puppy?
It was while running away from three men trying to catch him - they said something about how much he was worth which made his blood freeze and his feet fly like the wind - that he learned he could be a cat.
Scorching into an alley he thought was open-ended he found instead a wooden wall, clearly freshly constructed and, hearing the men's feet thudding behind him he screamed in his mind, ‘I can’t climb that, I need claws to climb something like that, I need to be a cat or something!’ but having no choice he tried anyway, lunging for the top, expecting to scrabble at the wood and fall back to the ground, only to bury his claws deep in the wood, scrambling frantically up and over, leaping not down when he reached the top but up onto the awning that part covered the alley and then from there to the roof and he was off and running again, knowing he had escaped but not able to stop his panicked flight.
He was almost back to his apartment building when he managed to slow down enough to look at himself. ‘Huh, I have spots?’ Sitting down he flexed his retractable claws in and out, entranced both by the sight and how it felt, then bending almost double to look at his tail, to run his nose through his fur, giving it a lick or two, feeling the hairs catch and pull on his tongue.
“Oh, tha’s nice!” he chirped, giving himself a few more licks as tiredness settled deep into his bones. He had run a long way and now he was some kind of cat, he wasn't sure what kind, one with an extra long tail and spots and about the same size as his dog shape and now he was so tired he just wanted to sleep so, knowing no one was waiting for him, he curled up and slept right on the roof.
****
“Stupid!” He was so frustrated with his falling asleep on the roof he wanted to hit himself, “How could you be so stupid!” Waking naked and soaked with dew, he shivered as he tried to find a way down off the roof, knowing that his hidden clothes were at least a mile away so he would have to sneak into the apartment like he was.
And try not to step on any glass or get caught by some kind of weirdo and manage to explain to his mum where his shoes were and “SHIT how could I be so stupid?”
At least, at three in the morning, no one was out and about to see a scrawny, bare-ass kid tip-toeing through the streets, finally getting home to fish the spare key out from under a broken bit of concrete. ‘Lucky, you just got lucky!’ he scolded himself as, shivering, he wrapped himself in the jacket that hung by the door. Making his way into the kitchen, he hunted for anything to eat. Finding only things his mum wouldn't let him touch, he finally gave up and went into his own room.
Crawling into bed he shook, all the terror from earlier crashing over him in a wave as he cried silently, shaking with the force of his sobs, even the knowledge that he could be other things than a dog wasn't able to make him feel better.
It would only be at school later that day that he fully realized that his quirk was so much more than just being a dog and how amazing that really was, and to make plans to try it out.
******
Making his way strategically late to school he held a fistful of ashy dirt tightly in his hand as he made his way down the rows of shoes, finally grabbing a pair that looked like they would fit alright. Hastily rubbing them all over with the dirt, he took what had been a reasonably clean and tidy pair of shoes and instead transformed them into a dirty, shabby-looking pair, a pair suitable for someone like him.
After all, his uniforms never fit properly, they were either too big, too small, and always faded and threadbare so, as he slipped his stolen shoes into his cubby hole, no one would think they belonged to anyone else. Having to walk to school in a pair of socks had not been the worst thing ever but, yeah, he seriously didn't want to have to try to get through the crowds of kids headed home without shoes on, the teasing he usually got was already bad enough.
Pulling his indoor shoes on, he dashed to his class, knowing that he would get detention for being so late but, well, a small price to pay really. The door was hardly open when, as expected, “Midoriya, detention today, there is no excuse for being this late!”
Well, yes there was but he didn’t think Sensei would accept, “I had to be late to steal someone's shoes, Sensei!” so instead he hid his grin at the thought and bowed, heading to his seat when the teacher irritably waved him away. Omata-sensei was an alright teacher, kept control of their class pretty good but they had more students than they knew what to do with so, as long as you kept your head down, turned in your work on time, and answered when called on, Izuku had no issues with them.
They weren't quirkist assholes like a few of the higher grade teachers were, thinking they were so subtle as they praised strong quirks and either ignoring or handing out unearned punishments to “Weaker” quirks. Feeling himself starting to get angry when his mind hit the old tired groove of “No such thing as a weak quirk, or a villainous quirk, or a heroic quirk, quirks are just fuckin tools people, just like hammers…”
‘Yeah, no, not going there today!’ Pulling out his notebook, he started jotting down what he could remember about his new form from last night, happy enough until lunchtime. Then, as predicted, the kids the year ahead of him came over, kicking his table to spill his drink. Knowing they ALWAYS did that he caught it before it could spill, rolling his eyes when they said the same kind of shit they always did.
“Hey bitch, no one wanna sit wif ooo today huh? Poor thing, maybe if you got yourself a pwetty new collar bitch, someone would take you home and pet you. You’d like that, wouldn't you, bitch?”
“For what I hope is to be the final time,” Izuku said with a fair assumption of boredom, “if you insist on using dog terminology when you insult me that would make me a Dog, not a Bitch. A bitch is a female canid and a dog is a male canid, so please, for the love of god, get it right.” He sneered, “After all, you're only embarrassing yourselves by STILL getting it wrong!”
“Why you little shit!” The biggest of the three made a lunge at him but the other two caught him, dragging him away when one of the lunch monitors came striding over, ready to break it up. Having three of the four escape him he turned on Izuku, saying, “Well? What was that all about? Are you antagonizing those three again?”
Not even a death sentence for talking back would have allowed him to hide his eye roll at the stupid shit lunchroom proctors could come up with when dealing with him, so he said with the kind of attitude that always got him into trouble, “Yeah, I decided to use my DOG quirk to mind control them into coming over and insulting me!”
Yeah, double detention anyone?
But that was the thing, no one ever figured out that he actually LIKED detention! Most of his teachers allowed detentionees to work on homework so it gave him a bright, airy space, filled with peace and quiet, to get his work done. Better yet, all the other kids would be long gone before he left and, better again, it meant that if he stashed his bags in the junk-filled lot between school and the apartment, he could hit the early evening after-work snack/dinner crowd.
Begging in the winter - and shit was he glad it was late spring right now - was always much harder than the warmer months when people sat outside but, if he made puppy dog eyes at people as they went into diners and cafes and then sat in clear view of the windows, then people coming out mostly brought him food as they left. Only little bits they didn't eat themselves but it all added up.
He did want to be a hero and go to a hero school but, well, if detention NOW meant he ate good before going home which kept him alive and growing, then he would leave it up to future Izuku to deal with how his school record would impact his getting into a good high school.
Future him would kick up a fuss but future him would only be fucking alive to complain if he kept their belly full so fuck future him, he would keep getting detentions. They made his life easier.
Slipping into the apartment, at last, it was cold and dark. Heaving a sigh of relief, he bypassed the kitchen, knowing there wouldn't be much in it, other than instant ramen - which he hated with a passion - and plain rice which he would cook and eat on its own but only if he was desperate. Rice was lovely with stuff on it, but on its own, yeah, no.
Opening the computer on his desk up, he breathed once again a grateful prayer that the school provided them for “disadvantaged” kids. Otherwise, he wouldn't have one at all and life really would suck! Well, worse than it did now anyway. He had done research just lately that proved to him, at last, that, despite what he had been told all his life, it wasn't his fault that his father had left.
It also wasn't his fault that his mother and he were poor.
It wasn't his fault she hated him either, although that one was still a work in progress as part of him still insisted on believing that if he was just quiet enough, good enough, hid his quirk enough, got good enough grades, that if he was just enough!!! that she would go back to loving him again.
Hitting the power button with more force than necessary, he muttered “Yeah right, as if!” But his words had no bite to them, simply a deep sadness and longing. Forcing it back he opened a tab and typed in, - [what kind of cat am I] - and listed what he could of how he had looked and behaved the night before.
After a short while he was left with either a jaguar or a leopard, as cheetahs didn't have retractable claws and a Serval was too small.
“Well,” he gulped, “time to take a risk, I guess?” Going hesitantly into the hall, he knew it was at least an hour earlier than his mother ever got home nowadays so, with a wildly beating heart, he opened her door, moving soundlessly across her floor to the only mirror in the house that he would be able to fully see himself in and caught the feeling of claws/tail/climb/run/jump/pounce and there he was, standing in the no longer dark room (‘Thank you night vision!’) studying himself in the glass.
‘Damn, how cool am I!’ he thought with glee, because, from his long sleek whiskers to the tip of his fluffy tail and all the elegant spots between, he was beautiful! ‘Jaguar, definitely a juvenile jaguar!’ I wonder, am I this kind of cat because of how I used to love watching nature shows with mum, no,’ he was trying all the time to break the ties that bind, ‘with Inko or is it because my quirk said cat and this one is the right size?’
Noting that down to think about later he changed back, feeling hunger stir at the energy expended, and went back to his room, making sure to not touch anything at all and close the door exactly as it was, even replacing the spit-glued hair his mother always put in place to be sure he wasn't going in there.
He sighed again and got back to work, if his quirk now had two forms, then what else could he be? And how could he train himself to be better, stronger, fitter, faster, more, so that he would have an actual chance in hell of passing the entrance exam to a hero school? Any hero school!