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Etho enjoyed the movie, he really did. And he loved getting to spend time with Beef, he always did!
It wasn’t that Etho didn’t like the ice cream, it’s just… He didn’t want to eat. There was a part of him that revolted whenever he ate, like the very idea of eating was enough to make him spiral into a cycle of self-loathing.
Beef didn’t have to know that he’d just puke up anything he ate, it would only cause unnecessary worry for him. You could say it was his guilty pleasure - if it could be described as pleasurable in any way.
Really, Etho was doing fine! He didn’t need constant surveillance, the little that he did eat was too much anyway.
Which is how he justified why he was hunched over in front of a sink, purging everything inside of his stomach as fast as he could.
The way his stomach gnawed at him and begged for food only spurred him on to stop eating. It was one of the few things he felt like he truly had control over.
But he didn’t hear the sound of his doorknob turning, or the sound of Beef’s light footsteps entering his house.
His head snapped up the second he heard Beef try to say something.
“Etho? I think I left my apron here somewhere, sorry for intruding. I’ll just grab it and be on my way, and-“ Beef stepped into the kitchen, getting a full view of Etho on full alert in front of the sink.
“Again?”
And though Beef spoke whisper-quiet and nonjudgmentally, it was somehow louder and harsher than an air raid siren.
And it absolutely shattered him.
He broke down right then and there, crying and sobbing and saying… something? An apology? An explanation? Simply a scream? He couldn’t tell but he knew it didn’t matter what he said anyway. The damage was already done.
He felt a hand gently grasp his forearm, and he quickly flung himself away from the touch like it was burning. Something distorted was whispered in to his ear.
“-tho? Etho, d—- —rry, I’m no- -ad. Ever——ng -ill b- ok. Y— don- h-ve to apolo-i—.”
He felt his breathing slow down slightly, but not by much. Beef was obviously just tricking him in to letting down his guard. Why else would he be acting so patient and kind, when Etho had just done this? He was absolutely useless, why had he decided to be so careless about this? He kept it from the other hermits for a reason, he knew they would try to stop him.
A gentle touch on his arm and soft speaking finally reached some part of his brain, and he realised he should probably listen to it.
“D-n- worr-, there’s n- ne-d to -e sorry. I- here if y-u want, I pr—-se I don’t mi-d. Can you hear me?”
Can you hear me can you hear me can you hear me can hear you me hear you can me can me you hear-
The words whirled around his head like a tornado, but they helped shake him back into reality.
He wiped away his tears, drew in a shaky breath and nodded briskly. Playing along would get Beef to leave; and the sooner he left the sooner he could finish his purging.
Although, for some reason, it didn’t sound as appealing as it normally did.
“Good, you can hear me. You don’t need to worry Etho, I promise you that I’m not mad. I won’t say anything to anyone if you don’t want me to, but I am going to try my best to get you some help. I know that you’ve been doing this behind my back, and I needed to talk to you about it eventually.”
He… wasn’t mad? Why? Etho had been so selfish, he was sure that beef would rather be doing anything else right now. He’d done nothing to deserve this patience, yet he was receiving it for some reason.
“Etho? You ok? You kind of drifted off there.” Etho took a deep breath and tried to muster up a smile. “Yeah, don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Um… could you please leave?”
Beef’s brows furrowed and Etho’s heart rate spiked. “Etho, I… I would, but can you honestly tell me you won’t just continue to abuse yourself?”
Etho scoffed, attempting to lessen Beef’s worry. “Come on, do you have any faith in me?”
“Can you honestly tell me that you’re sure this is safe? That this isn’t bad for you?”
The silence was deafening.
“Etho, I think I should stay here tonight.”
“I would appreciate that, thank you.”
Beef gently slipped his hand into Etho’s and started to walk to the bedroom; but he only got a couple of metres before Etho stumbled and fell on to him like a rag doll. It was as if all his energy had been drained out of him.
Silently, leaving no room for negotiation, Beef picked him up bridal-style and carried him the short rest of the way to the bed, trying not to think too hard about how easy it was. He tenderly lay Etho down under the sheets and crawled in next to him, cuddling him with his arms around his waist. It was comforting, but gave Etho room to move should he want to.
Figuring out everything else could come later. It was late, and they needed sleep first.
“Beef?” Etho timidly began.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry you had to deal with me.”
Beef gave him a small squeeze. “Don’t apologise. You deserve help just as much as anyone.”
Even if he didn’t eat anything that night, Beef’s reassurances left him feeling so warm he might as well have eaten a full meal.