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A journal, filled with messy doodles and unfinished drawings, sits open on wills desk as his hand glides across the paper, holding a newly sharpened pencil. He doesn’t know who he’s drawing, but it becomes clear to him soon as the faint freckles and chiseled cheekbones begin to appear.
The pages he's filled all consist of one person; Mike Wheeler. All the random in-class doodles, or late night drawing practices have filled up the once clean notebook. He’s memorized every angle and crevice of the taller boy's face; every freckle on his nose, every eyelash that dances across his cheeks when he blinks, every curve on his lips when he smiles.
The next 15 minutes are spent completing the drawing. Another line here, more shading over there. His pencil is barely sharp anymore when his focus is broken. He hears a knock at the front door, and without a second thought, he gets up, leaving the journal open to the drawing.
He made his way out of his bedroom and to the front door. He opened it and saw Mike standing before him, wearing black ripped jeans and an oversized sweater. Holy shit, Will thinks, Mike never looks this good. He wants to draw him in this outfit.
“Sorry I didn’t warn you beforehand. I just wanted to hangout with you and my walkie is dead. We don’t have any batteries,” Mike frantically explains, before continuing, “Can I come in?”
“Yeah yeah of course,” Will replies, stepping out of the way to let the boy in. The pair stands there for a few seconds before Will remembers that they actually have to do something. “Right! Well, uh, I’m gonna go to the bathroom quickly,” Will blurts, “You can just go ahead into my room if you’d like.”
Why was it so awkward? It was never usually this awkward. Sure, they had grown apart, so hanging out could sometimes get weird, but it was never this bad. Mike smiled before the 2 headed away from the door. Will went into the bathroom, While Mike kept walking to get to Will's room.
When Will got into the bathroom, he realized that he did actually have to go. Sitting in his room all day drawing without taking a break would do that to you. He washed his hands with the lemon soap Joyce always bought and dried his hands.
He stared at himself in the mirror. Why did he look like that? He fixed his rumpled hair with his hand and wiped his face. His hair had gotten longer, so while it wasn’t still a bowl cut, it wasn’t all that great yet either.
Once he was satisfied with the swoop of his hair, he left the bathroom and headed across the hall to his own bedroom. As he entered, he began saying, “Mike, I was thinking we could-“ he stopped mid-sentence
Sitting on his bed, was Mike wheeler, and in his hands, a sketchbook. Now, normally, Will wouldn’t have a problem with Mike looking at his art. Mike always looked at his art. That’s just something best friends do. However, right now, Mike was holding the sketchbook filled with portraits of him.
Will's eyes went wide. He had forgotten to put it away, hadn’t he. He was in pure horror. His secret was out. How could Mike not realize it now? An entire sketchbook dedicated to just drawing pictures of him?
“Mike, I-“ Will began, but was cut off.
“These are amazing,” Mike said.
“Huh?” Will stopped dead in his tracks, 3 feet away from Mike. He hadn’t even realized he had begun walking towards him.
“These drawings, Will. They’re amazing,” Mike repeated.
Will began taking slow steps over to Mike before sitting down next to him, leaving a good 6 inches between them.
“Really?” Will asked, still confused about why Mike wasn’t freaking out and telling Will how creepy and gross he is.
“Yeah,” Mike said slowly, admiring one of the drawings. “It almost makes me look…” He ran his fingers across the page, “pretty.”
Will could feel his cheeks flare a bright shade of red. Pretty? His face softened as he realized what Mike had really meant. He doesn’t think he looks good. Self conscious.
In an attempt to make him feel better, Will says, “Well… you are.”
Mike's face snaps towards will at the words. Shit, he shouldn’t have said that. Now Mike knows that Will thinks he’s attractive. Beads of sweat begin forming on his temples. However, when Will meets his eyes they aren’t filled with disgust, or anger, or any other emotion besides pure happiness.
“You…” Mike slowly starts, “You think I’m pretty?” He says it with a twinge of hope in his voice, which does not go unnoticed by Will. Maybe his mind is just playing tricks on him.
He quickly tries to backtrack, but seeing as his words have already gotten a response, he attempts to make an excuse that doesn’t scream “I’m secretly in love with you.”
“Well, I mean, um, yeah, I guess. You’re- youre my best friend, so, like, of course I do.”
Good. Go with the best friend route.
Mike's eyes darken slightly, the hope completely leaving his body. He snaps his hand away from Wills (when did that happen?) and instead clasps his own together.
“Oh, yeah, of course. Thanks.”
He makes a weak attempt to smile, the kind where the corners of his mouth are quivering and his eyes remain perfectly normal. They sit in silence for what feels like hours, before Will has had enough and needs to break the silence. (And attempt to fix whatever mess he just created that made Mike look like he was about to die.)
“Well, actually…” Will starts, noticing a small flame of hope reappearing in the taller boy's eyes, “It’s… it's not just… I mean, I don’t know. I guess I’m just trying to say that, like, you really are. Pretty, I mean. And…” He cuts off shortly, scared at what Mike will say if he tells him the full truth. I really like you, he wants to say.
A deep feeling in his gut pulls him into a memory. He was nine years old, and Lonnie was yelling at him. His mom was at work and his brother was still at school, so Lonnie could do whatever he wanted to Will with no one to protect him.
“You’re embarrassing me, you know that kiddo,” Lonnie screamed, pointing a dirty finger at the young Will.
“You and your little fairy friend need to cut it out. Whatever your doing to make the town call you a fag. I didn’t raise you to be a faggot,” Lonnie continued. He had moved closer to Will and grabbed his arm. He pulled him close to his face, so close that he could feel his hot breath on his face.
“Forget the fairy, okay kid? Forget. The. Fairy.” After he finished, he pushed Will to the ground, hard.
Will was pulled back into reality by Mike, who said, “And…?” With such a tone that Will almost melted right then and there. He used the tone that he only ever used with Will, the soft and comforting tone that had made Will feel better whenever a monster, literal or metaphorical, had hurt him.
Will looked into Mike's eyes. His eyebrows were strewn together, not knowing what to do. He wanted to tell Mike, he really did. The hope in Mikes eyes was so much that it almost convinced him that maybe Mike could feel the same.
Another part of him, a part he hated, filled with words spat at him ever since we was little. He decided to listen to the part he liked more.
“Can… can I tell you something?” Will said, at such a low level that if it weren’t completely silent otherwise, it would’ve been drowned out.
Mikes face softened at Wills scared tone. “Of course,” he said in the same tone.
Will adjusted himself on the bed so that now his whole body was facing Mike instead of just his head. He played with his hands, something he always did when he was anxious.
“I, um… I… like boys. Like, romantically,” he admitted. This was safer. He could see how Mike would react. He continued looking down however, scared to look up and see all the hope and care gone and instead replaced with hatred and disgust.
All of a sudden, He was pulled into the biggest hug he had ever felt. Mike's touch made Will melt more than he already had. His arms wrapped around Mike's waist, while Mike was softly stroking Will's hair.
Will could feel tears begin flowing out of his eyes, which made Mike pull Will even closer. “Hey, It’s ok Will,” Mike said into the crook of Will's neck, making him blush, “I love you so much, and I support you. Of course I do.”
Hearing those 5 words made Wills heart speed up. He doesn’t mean it like that, idiot.
“Don't say that,” Will stated, more harshly than he meant to.
“Don't say what?” Mike asked in reply, still clutching Will with all his might.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” He said, pulling away from Mikes grasp (which was surprisingly difficult).
“What? Will, of course I support you, what do you mean?”
Mike can be such an idiot sometimes. Will looked down at his hands but could still feel Mike's gaze on him. He interlocked his fingers together, a gesture he often did when he was nervous.
“Don't say you love me,” Will whispered, so quietly Mike almost didn’t hear him.
“Will, what-“ Mike began, but was cut off by Will
“Please, don’t make me explain. Just don’t say things like that, ok?”
Will was still staring at the ground. Mike's heart was beating out of his chest. Why would Will say something like that?
“Will…” Mike started, “Can you look at me?”
Will, while hesitant, followed through and looked at his life-long best friend. The moment their eyes locked his cheeks flushed a deep crimson.
What happened next surprised Will so much he thought he was dreaming. Mike had taken Will's hand in his own, a gesture that he hadn’t done since they were 12.
“If you’re saying what I think you’re saying…” Mike began again, a mixture of hope and terror mixed into his face, “Then I do mean it. I do.”
Will was angry now. Why was Mike doing this to him? If he really knew how Will felt, why was he making WIll feel worse?
Will stood up from the bed, pulling his hand away in the process.
“No, Mike, you don’t. You don’t know what you’re talking about. If you knew anything, ANYthing, about what I actually mean you would’ve left a long time ago. I know you love me in a platonic way. But don’t say it like you mean it in a romantic way. It really hurts, Mike, it does. It really fucking hurts. God, You’re in love with my sister for god's sakes! Do you know how hard that is? To see the person you're in love with date your goddamn sister? It’s really hard, by the way”
Will could feel hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Had he really just said all of that? Had he really just confessed to his straight, taken best friend?
Will prepared himself for the worst. He was expecting Mike to get up and start screaming at him, or run off, or maybe punch him in the face. He hadn't even noticed when Mike had gotten up from the bed.
“Mike, I-“ Will began, trying to explain what he’d just said.
He was cut off by Mike, pressing his lips against Wills.
Will was in shock. He froze in place, despite every part of him screaming at him to embrace this moment and kiss Mike back with everything he had in him.
Mike's lips were nothing like Will ever imagined them to be. They were soft and plump, with little ridges here and there. Their lips moved with ease, falling into a simple rhythm.
Will finally closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Mike's waist in the process. He could feel Mike's hands on the sides of his face before they moved around to the back of his head. Mike's long fingers began gliding with ease through Wills hair, sending shivers down his spine.
Will pushed up against the taller boy, wanting to get closer to him in every way possible, even though they were as close as they possibly could be. Will moved backwards towards the wall to steady himself.
When the pair finally moves away to catch their breath, Mike is completely pink. “Wow,” he gasps out.
Will still has fireworks going off in his stomach, but he manages to get out,
“So… Do you… like me too?”
Mike laughs slightly, before nodding a silent yes.
“Of course I do, Will. I think a part of me always has, to be honest.”
Will smiles and Mike does too. Will leans his head in and touches Mikes, and the pair wraps their arms around each other.
“God, I’ve wanted to do that for so long, Will,” Mike says, smile still splayed across his face.
“Me too,” WIll says in turn.
Will leans in once more to meet Mike's lips, leaving a soft yet just as exciting kiss on Mike's lips.
Will buries his face in the crook of Mike's neck, breathing in his scent. Mikes holds on tight, resting his head on Wills. He's not gonna let him go this time. He's never going to let him go ever again.