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Picture this: It is a beautifully sunny day. The skies are blue and clear. The warmth of the sun is just right. There is a park filled with people enjoying their day and in the middle of that park, there is a pond. It’s a rather lovely pond, actually. The water is never too hot or too cold. There are kids who throw bread around, which is nice. It’s better than the occasional stone skipper. That’s actually really annoying, did you know? Can you imagine just minding your own business and suddenly a rock skips past you and you feel like you just escaped near death? Anyway, in the middle of the park’s pond, there sits a goose.
I am that same goose.
No, not that one with his neck bent at a weird angle — a little to the right. There we go! You’ve spotted me.
Now, turn your attention to the ice cream cart. It’s next to the pond, with the goose — well, geese, including everybody else I suppose, but I’m really the only important one. You only have to keep track of one goose for this entire story. Back to the scene. There is an ice cream cart, with a pink-haired boy standing behind it with a smile on his face. It’s a very practiced smile, but a sincere one nonetheless. Ice cream boys have to be very good at looking bright and happy, you see. It’s how they get the children interested and earn the parents’ trust. After all, who would buy ice cream from some shady dude? If it’s you then it’s okay. I won’t judge. Maybe.
The pink-haired boy selling the ice cream is Choi Yeonjun. He’s tall for a human. He’s absolutely giant to a goose like me. Nevertheless, he is also nice for a human, perhaps both to other humans and geese alike. Yeonjun stays a respectable distance away from the pond at all times, especially when the geese begin to emerge from the water and walk around. I’ve tried to approach him once or twice, but he always inches away from me and further behind his ice cream cart. A shame, actually. What if I wanted ice cream? What if I could be a loyal, paying customer? You may ask — where will you get the money, goose? I will answer that it’s none of your business.
Politely, of course.
Back to the matter at hand.
When Choi Yeonjun doesn’t have customers to serve, his eyes tend to wander around the park.
Ha! That was a lie. His eyes only go towards one specific direction and that’s across the pond, where the skater boys are busy doing flips and cartwheels and whatever it is they do on their skateboards. I do not know the specifics. I am a goose. I do, however, know that one of them is a silver-haired boy named Kang Taehyun. Another is a blond named Huening Kai, but he doesn’t have much of a role in this story, I just quite like mentioning him. His name has a nice ring to it. Huening. It would make a nice name for a goose, too, but we don’t ever have nice names so it doesn’t really matter. Huening Kai is Taehyun’s friend. Taehyun is the important one in this story.
Are we clear on that? Three important characters: me, the goose. Choi Yeonjun, the ice cream boy. Kang Taehyun, the skater.
You may be wondering, “Where could a goose possibly fit in this situation?”
The answer is quite simple, actually. Long ago, aliens invaded the earth before humans were even a thing. They brought geese along with them. Does that make every goose you see an alien? Yes. Anyway, they brought geese that were heavily influenced by the alien knowledge and technology onboard the ship. It soon evolved into a skill we all have, a superpower almost. All of us are smart and capable of detecting something ordinary humans cannot — traces of soulmatism! That’s right, all geese are equipped with the knowledge of finding out which two persons, animals, or even plants are made for each other. Fascinating, right?
That was another lie. You really shouldn’t believe in geese.
Or should you?
The real answer is that it is very painfully obvious to my small, beady-looking goose eyes that Choi Yeonjun has a massive crush on Kang Taehyun. You don’t need supernatural powers to figure that out. The other geese agree. Well, except Frank, but that’s why nobody likes you, Frank.
Sorry.
Let’s look at the park again, but this time focus on Taehyun. He is sitting down on the short steps that the skaters like practicing on, with his helmet off, but elbow pads and knee pads still on. It’s reaching that point of the afternoon when the sun gets a little too warm for living creatures who are moving about. Taehyun thinks the same. There are beads of sweat rolling down the side of his head and his white shirt is sticking to his back. He fans himself with one hand, which certainly doesn’t help. Still, every little move he makes catches the attention of the ice cream boy across the park. Yeonjun thinks he isn't obvious because his eyes are partially overshadowed by the large tree he is under.
Maybe he isn't obvious to Taehyun, but he is obvious to me. I see everything in this park. I know all that happens. Also, the leaves themselves aren't covering his eyes, but the shadow. When has a shadow ever really covered anything? Whatever Yeojun doesn't know can't hurt him, I suppose. It's better this way, too. I can see the way Yeonjun's eyes follow Taehyun as the latter stands up from the stairs and begins to walk. He is walking around the pond, by himself. He is walking, it seems, toward the direction of the ice cream cart. The closer he gets, the more nervous Yeonjun becomes. Yeonjun gulps and when he feels like Taehyun is a bit too close, he averts his eyes. He stares at the ice cream in his cart and pretends to fix them around.
Why do humans do that, by the way?
Is eye contact that bad? I don't think it's bad. Tell me, have you ever stared a goose in the eye and watched us look away from you? I bet not. We don't ever back down from a fight, you see. That's what eye contact is all about in the end — a test of courage, a battle of strength! But using your eyes! Our first level of defense, next to our sharp teeth. Is it because humans don't have sharp teeth? Regardless, for Yeonjun, it is a losing battle. Maybe it's because Taehyun's eyes are just so much bigger. The skater approached the ice cream cart with a small smile on his lips as he greets Yeonjun good afternoon. They begin to talk briefly about the weather.
Neither of them notices the goose—that's me!—approaching from the pond.
"The management recently got new strawberry flavours," Yeonjun says as his eyes dart inside the ice cream cart freezer.
"Really?" Taehyun sounds delighted, "I love strawberry ice cream."
"Yeah, I know — I mean, I noticed it's what you always order," the ice cream boy stutters out. His hand is still inside the freezer, moving around awkwardly, waiting for Kang Taehyun to decide on what he wants to get.
You see, it is all a big ruse, from both of them. Kang Taehyun only orders the same thing each time and Yeonjun knows that, but they always take their sweet, sweet, sweet time standing around trying to pretend they're not looking for a way to prolong the conversation. This has been going on for two weeks and I am sick of it. The other geese may not agree, but I've always been different. They tell me to mind my own business and not meddle in human affairs, but if I don't, who will? Who will get these two over their weird courtship ritual and finally get them together? I'm sure Huening Kai agrees something has to be done.
I can see him staring at his best friend from the other side. I know nothing about Huening Kai, but I know he's got me.
"This new one looks interesting," Taehyun is in the middle of saying as I continue my slow approach. He points at it and then looks up at Yeonjun, with sparkling eyes and a bright smile, "The colour of pink is like your hair. I like it!"
Well, at least Taehyun knows how to do something. Poor Yeonjun. His face is as pink as his hair, I feel a little bad about what I am about to do next. Just kidding, geese can feel no guilt. Geese also cannot talk. We can only honk. I am honking at Yeonjun, but what I really want to say is, "This is the part you can tell him that you like him. It's such a good opening. Take the chance you are given." But to humans, it just sounds like a very loud goose making threatening noises. Yeonjun spares me a glance. There is fear in his eyes, even though I have stopped walking, and I am now resting a few feet away. If he messes this up though, I swear to the Goose Gods—
"Thank you," Yeonjun says.
That is all he says.
What do you mean that is all he says?
I am running immediately towards them, as fast as my short legs can take me. Have you ever seen a goose run? No? Lucky for you, then. Let me help you imagine what Choi Yeonjun and Kang Taehyun are seeing; the neck of a goose is normally vertical. We keep our heads up high and all that. However, when running, gravity naturally makes us shoot our heads forward instead. Like a giraffe extending its neck to reach greater distances, but in goose form. Sometimes, to help pick up speed, we also flap our wings. We actually can fly, but it takes a lot of effort and a lot of flapping to get our bodies completely off the ground. However, a few good flaps help lift us up for a few seconds of a speed boost.
"Taehyun, look out!"
Yeonjun grabs Taehyun by the arm and pulls. Granted, I meant to run toward the ice cream boy but trying to flap my body in the right direction can be difficult, but again this is fine. At the end of the day, what matters is that the two of them are now standing closer together. They've positioned themselves just a bit behind the ice cream cart, which acts as their shield, in a way. A smart choice, but their peace won't last very long. Taehyun's eyes are wide as he stares at me, but he also glanced at the way Yeonjun's hand was still circled around his wrist, which tells me all I need to know. Today is the day my plans come to fruition.
Today is the day a goose gets Choi Yeonjun and Kang Taehyun together.
"If we stay still, maybe it won't notice us and turn around," Yeonjun says with a gulp.
"Really? I thought it was the opposite and we have to try to move slowly away?" Taehyun asks, but neither of them moves.
The correct answer, friends, is that you have to stare a goose down and then do what Taehyun said. Also, pray. Pray very hard that the goose decides to leave you alone after an intense eye-contact battle where you must win. So, in a way, he's correct. But also, that only applies to geese that are just chasing people willy-nilly, for fun. The rules do not apply to geese with a mission. The rules do not apply to me. Although they are standing next to each other now, they aren't standing as close as I would want them to be. Naturally, this means I need to make a move again, to help them. I flap my wings once, twice, and watch the fear dawn on Yeonjun's eyes again.
He takes a step back, "Okay, I think you're right. We don't run, right?"
"No," Taehyun likewise moves away, but the two of them are steadily backing up against a tree, "Not unless it chases us."
"Chase us? You mean it could—"
Yes, yes, I could. I don't give Yeonjun a chance to finish his question before I am speeding up again, this time I make sure I am heading straight towards Yeonjun. He feels like an easy target, but I am mistaken. Taehyun is the first one to panic, making a high noise akin to a squeal as he grabs Yeonjun himself and runs. See, this is another common mistake when facing geese. Do not under any circumstance run. We can smell fear and we know when we can win against the giant humans and the occasional smaller human. Never turn your eyes away from a goose. The back of your head is a far easier target than your face because there are less distractions.
Kang Taehyun grabs Yeonjun's hand, which is already a step up than what the pink-haired boy did, so I ease my speed a little and give them some space. Just for now, while I calculate my next move. Also because I am interested to see what happens next. Surely hand-holding is a traditional move that humans do to express their feelings? I'm a longtime resident of this park. I have seen all sorts of couples. If geese had hands, I bet we would hold hands with our partners, too. They stop a good distance away from the ice cream cart, towards a large field. It also a fair distance away from the skater boys — all of them are watching Taehyun.
"Sorry," Taehyun gasps out as he catches his breath. He is still holding Yeonjun's hand, ready to move at any given moment, "I know I said no running, but it's kinda hard to do when you see a goose chasing you."
"Yeah," Yeonjun agrees.
He doesn't let go of Taehyun's hand either. It appears as if neither of them have noticed.
Perhaps they are still too preoccupied with the way there is a goose watching them, waiting for their next move. It is clear to me that it is not enough. They may be holding hands now, but they could just as easily let go, and it's back to square one for me. What's the best thing a goose could do? Rather, what's the worst thing I could do? I don't really want to get them hurt. However, desperate times call for desperate measures. From the corner of my eye, I can see Huening Kai looking concerned. What if he heads over? I can't work on my grand plan if he's in the way. I honk twice to say, "Please stay away. I am so close to getting these two together. Give me some time."
It works, I guess. Kai looks alarmed, but he is smart enough not to approach a honking goose.
Unfortunately, my honking also catches Yeonjun's attention.
"Is the goose still staring at us?"
"Yeah," Taehyun nods, and then giggles, "Maybe it's because he wants to eat your hair."
Yeonjun smiles — not like his earlier practiced smiles for show, but a real one, a fond one, like nothing Taehyun says could possibly offend him. With his free hand, he runs his fingers across his hair. It is a nice pink shade, almost like cotton candy, or the ice cream bars he sells. It's very similar to the strawberry ones that Taehyun orders often. Nearly everyday, actually. Yes, I have been watching them pine over each other for far too long. The movement of his hand brings his attention to the hand that is still in Taehyun's grasp. My amazing goose senses immediately tingle and tell me something is about to go wrong if I don't act right now.
I flap my wings once as a warning. Taehyun notices.
"We have to get away from that goose," he says, pulling on Yeonjun's hand.
Now or never. This is the very moment I have been training for as an alien goose onboard a ship to earth, bred to detect soulmates, and make sure I enforce their fates upon each other. Exciting, right? That's still a lie, by the way. Have we learned nothing throughout this story? It's okay. We can work on that some other time. Maybe you could see me some other time. Who's to say? Anyway, I swoop into the sky and towards them, catching them off guard. Around us, other people have also taken notice. There are kids and adults alike pointing at me and going, "Goose?" and a few of the older people seem to have expected what I'm doing and can simply utter, with acceptance, "Goose."
The last thing Yeonjun manages to say is a loud, "DUCK!"
He crouches down as he shouts, but it takes Taehyun a while to register what was yelled next to his ear. The result is catastrophic. Yeonjun is already tucked into himself and it makes Taehyun lose his balance. In the end, I don't even need to fly towards Yeonjun anymore and instead, take a neat dive to the right to avoid them. Due to their connected hands, the skater boy falls over towards Yeonjun, which in turn pushes the latter flat down on his back. Taehyun lands neatly on top of him, cushioning his fall to the best of his abilities, and letting go of the other's hand in the process. In a daze, Yeonjun gently cups the back of the silver-haired boy's head.
"Are you okay?"
"I should be asking you that," Taehyun protests immediately, large eyes filled with concern.
"Yeah, I don't think I hit my head as hard as I hit my butt on the concrete," Yeonjun mumbles. He keeps his hand on the other's head, moving it a little only so he could softly pat Taehyun's hair, "But it does feel like a dream with you here, thanks for worrying."
Well, wow, am I a good goose or what? Then again, did he really not hit his head? This doesn't look like the Yeonjun I'm used to seeing. In fact, he looks a little—dare I say it—cool. Even from his place on the ground, with bright pink hair, and a dazed look in his eyes. Taehyun also doesn't try to move up, but that may be because of the way Yeonjun was holding him in place. Humans are so weird. Two weeks of doing nothing and suddenly Yeonjun has his hands all over Taehyun. Why, I'd be a little offended, if that were me. Geese are much more obvious about our affections and intentions. It's a whole ritual, you see, the goose mating process. But that's not what this story is about.
You don't really care about geese. I understand. I'll go back to narrating what I'm seeing.
"I think it's my fault we got chased by the goose," Taehyun says softly, looking up towards Yeonjun's eyes and down to his lips, and then promptly looking away. He clears his throat, "Let me make it up to you?"
"Only if you let me do the same. Free ice cream?"
"Yeah, I think I'd like that."
The end.
No, really, it ends there. I think I've done my job quite well, don't you think? For a moment, it looked like Huening Kai wanted to head over, but he changed his mind when he saw how the two were enjoying themselves on the floor. I told him — he gets it, he's got me. If only there were geese like him, too. Eventually, Taehyun sits up and helps Yeonjun up as well. They're extra careful to be around me now, which means they are keeping their distance. My hearing can only reach so far, but they are still talking. There's a lot of smiling and giggling going on, too. Yeonjun hands him strawberry ice cream that is the same shade of his hair, and their fingers touch and linger for a second too long. Mission accomplished.