Work Text:
Plagg was zipping around Adrien's head as he sat in his bedroom. The kwami was listening to his holder describe the most recent blunders he'd had in the romance department.
Adrien was describing how he'd spoken to Marinette as Chat Noir, meeting her on her balcony earlier that night.
"She said the person she loved turned her down," he was saying. "That the guy she likes is in love with another girl."
This revelation about Marinette's love interest wasn't news to Plagg- but hearing Adrien talk about the pair as though they were four different people was hilarious. Plagg barely even tried to suppress his laughter.
After a moment spent trying to catch his breath, Plagg munched down some cheese. "Didn't you tell Marinette yesterday that you had a crush on someone?" he asked, trying to disguise his amusement.
"You're right," Adrien said - much to Plagg's shock. "We do have that in common," he continued, and Plagg groaned. "We both like someone who doesn't like us back."
Plagg muttered under his breath, "who doesn't realize they like you back."
Adrien, for his part, had begun pacing the room. "Maybe we can work together," he pondered. "I bet I could figure out who she likes and knock some sense into them."
If only, Plagg thought.
"Then, maybe in return she can help set me up with Ladybug," Adrien finished.
"You'd have to help with her situation as Chat Noir, unless you want her trying to set up her classmate with a superhero," Plagg observed, chuckling.
"You raise a good point, Plagg," Adrien replied. He stopped pacing to look out the window. "Maybe Ladybug would fall for Adrien more easily than for Chat..."
Plagg couldn't help it- he burst out laughing.
It was too funny! "You two dunceheads," Plagg started, struggling to put a lid on the giggle fit. "No, three- Four?"
Plagg took a breath, and flew over to look Adrien in the eyes.
"Can we count how many people are involved in this romantic mess?" he asked, but didn't bother to wait for an answer.
"One- Adrien. Two - Chat." He saw Adrien about to object and cut him off, "Everyone else thinks you're different people, so we're counting that way. Deal with it."
Plagg cleared his throat before continuing.
"Three- Ladybug, obviously. Four- the person Ladybug loves." Plagg took a moment to appreciate the look on Adrien's face at the reminder.
"Five- You're roping Marinette into this, now. Six- the guy she likes, and seven- Marinette's crush's crush." Plagg giggled, wondering how many characters he could stretch this to include.
"Remember Ladybug told you a while back that her crush turned her down for someone else? So eight, Ladybug's crush's crush," Plagg grinned widely, racking his brain for more.
He almost brought up Kagami, but decided against it. It was way funnier if the list was really only two people. As he struggled to think of more items for the list, Plagg noticed the look on Adrien's face and lost it.
He had the longest laughing fit he'd had in a millennium, easily. Two idiots, Plagg thought, And you think there's eight of you.
As Plagg caught his breath, he saw Adrien with a look of surprise, and realized he'd said that thought aloud.
"Two?" asked Adrien, staring Plagg down.
"I just- Well-" The kwami struggled to think of a way out, anything he could say to cover for his mistake.
"Think there's eight?" Adrien asked again, not breaking eye contact.
"Tikki's gonna kill me," Plagg said in response.
