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It's a normal school day in South Park for all the fourth graders we know and love until they are called down for a special assembly, much to their confusion.
"Wonder what this one is about," Stan muttered, annoyed by the idea of another no-smoking assembly. He did not want to see anything close to Butt-Out.
"Let's just hope it's something that doesn't result in us burning the school down again," Kyle replied as they walked into the gym. He took his seat beside Stan like always.
"That would be so kewl," Cartman said. The two super best friends just rolled their eyes in unison.
"No, it wouldn't be, Cartman. My parents grounded me for two weeks!" Stan exclaimed, remembering that day with a grimace.
"Smoking is gay anyway," Kenny added.
"Shut up Kenny, no it's not!"
"Whatever you say, fat boy..."
"AY!"
Stan wasn't paying any attention to what PC Principal was saying at the beginning of the assembly, he could care less.
"Hey, Wendy is presenting too!" Kyle nudged his elbow and whispered. Stan raised his eyebrows.
"Really? Cool-"
"DAMMIT LESLIE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING PIEHOLE!" PC Principal suddenly yelled at this poor girl talking to her friends, snapping Stan out of his daze.
"The fuck?" He thought, but said nothing to stand up for her. Wendy cleared her throat and stepped up.
"Hey, everyone! Some of the new students here at South Park Elementary, the Asian girls, have introduced us to a new art style known as 'Yaoi'. It's a blend of emotion and beauty involving two people whose love is usually looked down upon by others. It shows us that all love is magical, no matter what!" She recites happily.
"Dumb," Stan thought. He didn't like his girlfriend's speeches, he thought that Kyle was the only one who gave good ones. He'd never tell anyone though.
"This is Lisa Akimoto's piece.. wait, what the hell?!" Wendy suddenly looked pissed as the image popped up on the screen.
"Stan and Kyle.. forbidden love?!" She gasped angrily. "My BOYFRIEND?!"
The art was what looked like Stan and Kyle but way older. Stan, who was way taller than Kyle (this was completely untrue, Stan was pretty short), was pinning the redhead to the wall and sloppily making out with him. It even looked a little sexual, which was pretty uncomfortable for a bunch of fourth graders.
Some girls gasped (Bebe), others awwed, finding it adorable, and OMG THEIR OTP. All the boys just looked at it with their mouths hanging open. Stan realized what he was seeing.
"Wait, what..?" He said out loud, his eyes widening.
Wendy scoffed and clicked the next button, only to be greeted with more art with the two boys, Stan with a bottle of alcohol clinging desperately and confessing lovingly to Kyle, who looked flustered.
"Hey?!" Kyle shot up from his spot beside Stan, "What is that, why would you fucking draw us like that?!!" He was mad.
"How the fuck would they know about that?" Stan thought, and he suddenly felt like he was being watched. He shook it off.
"Wendy, you're here to present. So present," PC Principal said professionally to the brooding girl. She rolled her eyes and nodded.
"Fine," She smiled through gritted teeth.
"In yaoi art, the seme.. aka top, is usually seen dominating the uke.. aka bottom, seen here," She gestured to another artwork. Stan is doing unholy things to Kyle, "...Stan... is the seme in this art piece."
Now, all the girls went "Awww..."
Stan and Kyle refused to look at each other. Kyle out of anger and embarrassment, Stan out of shock.
"Holy fucking shit," Cartman muttered like he couldn't believe this opportunity to rip on his friends, as another piece appeared, showing Stan pinning down Kyle and looking into his eyes.
He was in a football jersey for some reason, which struck Stan as odd, because he hardly liked the sport and would not take it up. Why would he play sports when there were songs to be sung and trees to be hugged?
Kyle looked like a small feminine nerd in the art and was blushing extremely hard and stuttering. It looked like a heteronormative gay stereotype, with a big strong manly man, and a little soft boy who liked taking it in the ass. It was nothing even close to how Kyle acted, Stan noted, crossing his arms stubbornly.
As soon as the assembly ended, Stan rushed out of there as fast as he could to avoid any looks from his peers.
He hates standing out... Well, in a bad way. He wants to blend in with the others, and something like this happens and makes him different from them.
Meanwhile, Kyle is eavesdropping on Cartman and Kenny with the other boys, curious about their reactions.
"I just don't get it. Why didn't they tell us they were gay?" Kenny asked.
"Shut up Kinny. We would know already if they were," Cartman replied, actually somewhat standing up for the two. This surprised Kyle, but Stan was Cartman's friend, so that was probably why.
"Then why would the Asian girls make them grind each other and all that other stuff?" Butters asked, rubbing his hands together nervously.
"Yeah!! What's this whole yaoi thing?! I'm confused!! AGH!" Tweek exclaimed.
"Who's next if it happened to Stan and Kyle? Are we all going to be gay?" Craig asked.
"No... no, they can't make us all gay, can they?" Tolkien sounded freaked out, and it spread to the rest of the group. Their worries were voiced loudly throughout the hall.
Kyle frowned and didn't want to hear any more of that conversation. He stomped off to find the Asian girls.
He finds them sitting on the stair steps drawing MORE of that strange art. He approaches them awkwardly, not knowing how to confront this.
"Hi, um... Excuse me? Why are you drawing me and my best friend in this way?" He asked politely, holding up a picture of Stan sobbing in his arms while Kyle was consoling him about something. He didn't understand that one.
"Oh. Hi, Kyle," One of them said, then turns to her friend, "빨간 머리를 너무 오래 그리지 마십시오. 그는 그것을 잘라,당신은 볼 수 없습니다??"
"그의 모자 아래에서 어떻게 볼 수 있습니까?" She replied.
"...What did she say?" Kyle asked one of the girls. That girl glanced at him and shrugged.
"I dunno. I'm Japanese, I don't speak Korean," She replied, going back to talking with her friends. Kyle groaned.
Stan walked out of the bathroom and saw Kyle talking to the Asian girls, looking angry. He didn't want to go over there but he did.
"Kyle and I are not dating, girls. Why are you guys drawing that?" He asked, joining Kyle's side. Kyle didn't even glance at him. One of the girls smirks.
"그의 표정을 보세요. Stan은 분명히 그를 원합니다," She says to her friend, and they both giggle. Stan blinked in confusion at hearing his name, but then shook his head.
"Hey, answer me! What if my parents find out about this, huh?" He says, crossing his arms.
"My mom will kill me if she thinks I was hiding something like this from her!" Kyle joined in.
Just then, the two were called to the office.
"Stan and Kyle to the principal's office. I repeat, Stan and Kyle to my office. Thank you." PC Principal's voice rang into the loudspeaker. They glanced at each other worriedly and made their way to the office.
•
"I heard some rumors, boys. Do you have any questions for me?"
"Yeah. Why are they drawing pictures of me being gay with Stan?!" Kyle angrily asked, clenching his fists. PC Principal raised an eyebrow.
"What's wrong with being gay?" He asked suspiciously. Kyle frowned.
"Nothing! But we're-" He paused, and sent Stan a suspicious look, "Well, I'M not gay," he finished. Stan glared at Kyle slightly.
"Neither am I," he muttered.
"That's irrelevant! I brought you in here to discuss affirmative consent." PC Principal said, looking between the two of them.
"Huh? What's that?" Stan asked curiously.
"Just in case there IS a romantic relationship here... you gotta make sure that you're both okay with exploring anything sexual," PC Principal explained.
Stan felt sick.
"Aw-Awwwh... No way..," he whispered to himself.
"You still have to follow these guidelines, even in a gay relationship."
"But I am NOT gay!!" Kyle yelled. PC Principal ignored him and turned to Stan.
"Alright, Stan. If -and only if- at some point, you want to touch Kyle's penis, you can't just go grabbing at it like it's some candy, okay? You need to ask him if it's ALRIGHT for you to grab his penis. Let's try it out," PC Principal begins.
"No way!" Stan said, wishing that he could disappear. This isn't exactly what he had been hoping for.
"Want two weeks detention instead?" PC Principal replied seriously, staring straight through Stan. He gulped and quickly looked towards Kyle, who was frowning harshly and crossing his arms.
"Kyle, can I touch your penis?" He asked, feeling like he was going to die of embarrassment.
"K good. Now, Kyle, you can say 'yes you can, I'm comfortable with that." He said. Kyle didn't reply, obviously very unhappy. "Okay.. or you can say 'No you may not at this time."
"No, you may not at this time!" Kyle uttered.
"Now we're getting somewhere!" PC Principal said, then turned to Stan again, "Alright, now Stan, what would you say if you wanted to try anal with Kyle?"
•
Stan is back at his house, locking himself inside his bedroom. It's no different from every other day for everyone else, but he's freaking out.
Sure, having extremely weird and gross art of him and his best friend being made was bad, but he didn't expect such a harsh reaction from Kyle. Is being gay that bad?
"How am I supposed to tell him now?" He thought, slumping down further.
Of course, he had been dealing with this whole "gay" thing long before the Asian girls had arrived at their elementary school. It scared him, so he clung to Wendy like a loser. Why did Kyle have to look so... nice?
He knew Wendy was extremely upset about this whole yaoi thing, and she seemed to have expected him to do more than run and hide in this situation.
She called him, confronted him about it and then broke up with him. Again. He wasn't even phased this time though. It felt different... usually it hurt him, but he was unbothered. Like a real prick would be.
"Hmm. That's new," he thought, then opened his dresser drawer and pulled out a bottle of whiskey to hold him over. He placed it on his desk and he got ready to do some homework. Stan was now treating today like any other day.
~
Over at the Whole Foods store, Kenny's parents, Steven and Carol, are attempting to buy something extremely cheap that they can find when they run into Sheila and Gerald.
"Hey, folks! We heard about Kyle, and we think it's awful cute!" Carol said happily. Steven didn't look as enthused, but he wasn't pissed either. Gerald turned around and gave her a confused glance.
"What about Kyle?" Sheila asked, just as confused. Then Cartman's mom walked up beside her.
"Oh hello, you two! I am so happy for your son, it must be nice to feel comfortable at last!" She said sweetly.
Then she cleared her throat and got louder, "Everyone! It's Kyle's mom and dad!" She yelled. People who were shopping started clapping.
"What what what?" Sheila wondered.
"No idea, but I'm guessing something is up again," Gerald muttered in reply.
~
Stan is having dinner with his parents begrudgingly. Randy glances at him and then at Sharon as if asking her if he should say something. She just sighs and he takes it as a yes.
"Soooo.. how are you, champ?" He asks awkwardly. Stan looks up from his plate and glares at him.
"Stanley. Reply." His mom warns him. Stan groans.
"Good. Great," he mutters bitterly. Randy ignored his tone.
"Anything you... want to tell us?" He asks slowly, as if Stan is stupid or something.
"Um- no?" Stan says, suddenly realizing what is about to happen, "Uh, wait-"
"Well, we heard that you were gay, dear. I want to say I'm so proud of you honey for being you," Sharon gushes lovingly from across the table. Stan pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Oh my god!" He says, but is ignored.
"I thought you were just some emo who had demons, but now that I know you and that Kyle kid are snogging, it shows me you kid's got more going on than what you show, son," Randy adds. Stan wants to punch him.
"I'm so so proud. We all are. Even Shelly," Sharon says sweetly, turning to Shelly, who isn't even paying attention.
"What-EVER?" She says. Stan is relieved that she doesn't actually give a shit.
Randy pulled out his wallet and handed Stan some bills. Stan stared at him in bewilderment.
"What?"
"I just.. I just want to be a better dad to you now. Here, take some money," Randy said, throwing some more at him. Stan is done with this bullshit, and gets right out of his seat.
"I'm going to bed. Goodnight," he says, and no one argues with him because he's gay now. He just walks right on up, closes his door, gets into his pajamas, and climbs under the sheets.
With a long sigh, he closed his eyes and attempted to sleep, but it didn't come. He opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. He had been doing this a lot lately. It wasn't new.
He sat in silence, his mind racing and filling with conflicting thoughts, none particularly positive. As due to depression, obviously.
But over down his street, Kyle is also unable to rest, having gone to bed early as well, feeling uneasy with all the eyes on him earlier at dinner.
"Oh bubba, is there something you need to tell us?"
"Kyal, r u a homoooo?"
"Why were people congratulating us on you at the store today?"
He looks up at the ceiling in the same way as Stan, feeling confused. Why was Stan not getting as defensive as he was? Surely.. surely Stan wasn't ACTUALLY gay.. right? He tried to get that thought out of his head. But it wouldn't leave.
"Oh my god.. I gotta avoid Stan," he thought.
But the next day, Kyle is walking to the back of school to avoid more people clapping for him and giving him weird looks when he sees Stan is already standing there.
"Oh, just great," he mused. Stan is holding a water bottle and is staring at the wall. Kyle slowly walks up to him and turns to face whatever he was looking at.
It's graffiti of the two of them cuddling, they look really happy, pink blush tinting their faces. With no words said, the two turned around and walked away in the opposite direction.
As time goes on, more and more fanart of the pairing is popping up. There's even a name for it:
Style
And the whole town is talking about it. They're all convinced - these two are in a relationship.
Stan had definitely gotten worse from the whole situation, not that anybody had noticed. No one really ever did, he was just thought of as an asshole (which was fair; he kinda was). He hadn't spoken to Kyle in what felt like forever, and he really really missed his best friend.
He was sure that Kyle had missed him too... right?
But then again, it didn't seem like Kyle had even really cared about him whatsoever anymore. Their friendship had been beginning to fade away and this was the final nail in the coffin, Stan thought. He wanted to disappear.
•
The next day, Stan attempted to speak to Kyle. Just like they used to do, to be friends again. But Kyle was pissed. And seeing Stan just seemed to make him angrier.
The second Stan walked up to him to start a conversation, he was shoved backwards by Kyle.
"What is your fucking problem, Stan?!" Kyle screamed at him. Stan was surprised and his eyebrows raised.
"My problem? You're the one with the problem here!" Stan yelled back, also shoving Kyle.
"Goddammit, Stan! I told you to leave me alone, yet you follow me around like a lost child!" Kyle exclaimed, growling like a fucking dog. He attempted to push Stan again, but Stan wasn't having that.
"Stop fucking pushing me! We're best friends, doesn't that matter too?!"
"We're not friends right now!!" Kyle yelled harshly, clenching his fists.
"Get a room!! We don't want to see you two having sex!" Cartman yells.
"Speak for yourself!!" Kenny yells back.
"Gross!" Craig yelled into the crowd.
Then Kyle and Stan started all out fighting in the hall. Cartman gasps obnoxiously while Stan is absolutely losing to his superhuman strength-like friend.
The fight didn't last long, and eventually the two were broken up and sent to the principal's office. Stan definitely did not want to go back there, but he had no choice.
Gerald was sitting at his computer doing lawyer's shit when suddenly he got a call from the school. He picked it up, confused.
"Yes?"
"Hello, Mr Broflovski. Your son Kyle got into an altercation today in the hallway." PC Principal told him. Gerald frowned.
"Really? Kyle? In a fight?" He was almost shocked, then remembered all the times his son had beaten the ass of Cartman.
"Yes, with his boyfriend." PC Principal said, then eyed the two boys sitting across from each other. "I think it was a bump in their relationship. A rough patch."
"Fucking hell!" Kyle groaned angrily. Stan stayed silent.
"But at least there were no consent issues, as your son knows the right way to play with a boy's penis.", PC Principal said. Gerald was bewildered.
"Jesus Christ..." He facepalmed. "Is Kyle in trouble?" He asked.
"Of course not, they're gay! We're just gonna send him home with some money, alright? Have a nice day." Then PC Principal hung up.
Gerald was silent for a couple of seconds. He put the phone down.
"Money? Why?" He wondered.
•
Kyle is standing in front of the Marsh residence's front door. He feels like shit for hurting Stan and knows that was a dickbag move, so he comes to apologize. And he has an idea. So they can be friends again.
The door opens and Stan's parents look delighted.
"Kyle! Hello there," Sharon said happily. Then she called for Randy. "Randy, it's Kyle!"
"Hi Kyle," Randy said once he arrived at the front door and stood next to his wife, "What brings you here?"
"Uh- is Stan home?" Kyle asked politely, not wanting to be rude. Sharon nodded and gestured for Kyle to come inside, holding the door open for him. Randy gave Kyle a thumbs up and wiggled his eyebrows.
"Have fun. Want some food? Sharon made lunch," Randy offered. Kyle shook his head.
"No. I just need to see Stan," he told them. Sharon placed a hand on her chest.
"Aww... so sweet.." She said.
"Stan's up in his bedroom playing with himself. Go on up," Randy said. Kyle started heading up the stairs but then Randy spoke again, "Keep the door open though!" He said. Kyle frowned angrily and stomped up the stairs.
Randy just turned to Sharon and nudged her elbow.
"Knew they would turn out funny."
Stan is strumming his guitar and whispering lyrics to a song he had started to write when suddenly the door burst open. He yelped in surprise and put down his guitar.
"Hey," Kyle said, and Stan quickly turned to face him, his eyes widening.
"Kyle?! What are you doing here, dude?!" he exclaimed, covering up his happiness. He kept his distance from him though, unaware of Kyle's intentions.
"Chill Stan. I have an idea to put a stop to this bullshit," he said. Then he looked down. "And I'm sorry for hurting you earlier."
Stan nodded slowly and forgave him, then spoke; "What's your idea?"
"We come out and admit we're gay."
Stan stared at Kyle in confusion and shock, then it turned to hope.
"R-Really? We do? We are?"
"If we're gay, then we can break up, dude! Then no more art! No more yaoi! Let's stage a fake breakup right in front of everyone," Kyle explained his plan to Stan.
Stan gave a lopsided smile. Then, realizing he had the wrong idea, he immediately frowned.
"Wait, acting? I don't think I'm good enough for that..," he muttered, looking down at the ground.
"Oh, shut up, Stan. You're so much more talented than you think. Trust me, I know. I could hear you playing, by the way. It sounded good, dude," Kyle put a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you sure I can?" Stan asked. Kyle nodded.
"Of course. Just follow my lead, okay?"
"Alright," Stan replied, putting one of his own hands on Kyle's shoulder. Neither moved, despite the position they had unintentionally got themselves into.
•
Later at school, Kenny and Cartman are chatting with one another.
"Do you think that yaoi thing made Stan and Kyle turn gay?"
"No! I looked it up, Kinny! Yaoi is an art style for bimbos who like making two guys fuck because they think it's hot or something." Cartman tried to explain to Kenny.
"Why do they like that?" Kenny asked, rubbing his chin in confusion. Cartman shrugged.
"I don't fucking know. But that proves that Stan and Kyle are NOT fags." He said confidently.
...
Stan walked past the Asian girls sitting on the steps, waiting for Kyle to start their scene. It came, as he heard his name being called.
"Stan! Wait up!" He said, joining his side. Stan turned around and smiled at him.
"Yes?"
"It's just not going to work." Kyle said loudly. Stan's smile vanished, along with the Asian girls'.
"W-What? Why not?" Stan asked, trying to sound as hurt as possible. Though deep down, his heart really did ache because of the words. Cartman, Kenny, Butters, and a couple others started to listen in to the conversation.
"I'm sorry Stan.. We can't just lie to ourselves," Kyle said, then faced the crowd that was beginning to form around them, "Yes, Stan and I are gay, but just not in love anymore."
"What changed, Ky? W-What do you mean? Not in love?" Stan said, sticking to what Kyle told him to say.
"It's just that we want to see different people and that we just think it's time to move on. That's all," Kyle tried to finish.
"Uh... huh..." Stan trailed off. People started to leave when Stan finally decided to snap. He wasn't done with this yet. He was sick of Kyle's attitude towards this whole situation and he felt hurt.
"And who the FUCK is this girl you've been talking to?!" He screamed.
The kids gasped and quickly came back. Kyle's mood switched instantly to confusion.
"What? Stan, what are you talking about..?" He asked, looking around nervously.
"On our date last night! I went through your phone! I saw those texts you sent about wanting to get with her so the rumors will stop! Is letting people know about us that bad?!" Stan cried dramatically. Kyle took a step back.
"W-Wait, I never did that..!" He started to say, turning towards the crowd again.
"Oh REALLY?" Stan crossed his arms.
"Yes!" Kyle exclaimed. He motioned at Stan to stay on track. "We know this is for the better, Stan! We're ending this on a GOOD note!" He tried to remind him.
"Oh, that's so fucking lame! I'm not that pathetic, you don't need to spare my feelings and try to tell me what I want!" Stan yelled at him.
"Dude.. don't make me look like I'm in the wrong here..." Kyle whispered.
Kyle didn't care.
Stan was pissed now, and he felt a lump in his throat, and his eyes began to water.
"OH, because you're never wrong! Kyle is always right, he knows everything! Y-You just use people for your own gain, and leave people when they need your help back!" His voice was breaking now. The crowd was dead silent.
"Y-You're going too far, Stan. This is completely unnecessary, you were being toxic but we can talk about that later-" Kyle attempted to say, but was cut off.
"What is wrong with you?! Now I'M going too far here?! Why are you always trying to manipulate me into acting just like you? I'm my own person, okay?!"
"Dude, stop! What are you talking about?? This wasn't part of the plan!" Kyle yelled. Stan scowled.
"Guess what! LOVE doesn't FOLLOW a plan, genius! You act so smart but you can't understand other people's feelings!"
"Yeah! Tell him, Stan!" Butters chipped in from the crowd, causing a few other people to cheer as well. Kyle stared at him wide-eyed. Then Stan let the tears escape his eyes and they poured down his face. Kyle noticed this and looked genuinely surprised.
"I've been wrong about you this whole time. I trusted you... I should've known you never cared. One day maybe you'll know how it feels to be lonely!"
"What are y-"
"No, Kyle. I'm just going to go make my fucking left turn," Stan finished, finally turning away. The crowd opened up for him to leave. He did, wiping his eyes and walking away.
Wendy pushes her way through the crowd.
"Oh, Stan! Wait!" She called after him. Then she glares at Kyle menacingly. She raises her fist at him and then runs off to catch up to Stan.
Kyle silently glances towards his friends and the other kids, who shake their heads and glare at him, walking away as well. He is left standing there alone in shock.
"What the fuck..? Dude, are you serious..?!" He yells, but Stan is already long gone.
•
Shiela gets off the phone with a frown.
"They broke up.." She mumbled in surprise. Gerald smiled at the news, glad his son had the chance to be with a lovely girl again.
Then he notices Kyle walking to the front door, his head is down and he's soaking wet from the rain. Gerald went over to open the door for him. He was still smiling when he opened it, but then he felt the depressing aura all around Kyle and his smile vanished.
Kyle was absolutely devastated.
Then Gerald felt bad for even thinking about Kyle being with someone who wasn't Stan.
..
The rain washed away the graffiti art on the wall of the two, much to Stan's happiness. He felt like things would finally go back to normal. He smiled and walked through the hallways happily, but then stopped.
Everyone was frowning and looked very upset. His smile disappeared and he began to feel guilty.
He noticed the whole town seemed sad. The Asian girls were still drawing art of them, but now it was depressing and had Kyle either not caring about Stan or Stan, drunk, with someone new. Stan didn't like those pieces. Why can't they just stop drawing them altogether?
It wasn't until Stan saw his mom crying at the dinner table that he realized it was a bad idea. And it was his fault. He knew what he had to do now.
•
Stan rang the doorbell and waited for the door to open. Gerald opened it and looked down to see the boy in the red poofball hat.
"Um, hi. Is Kyle home right now?" Stan asked. Gerald frowned, mad that Stan had hurt his child.
"Why can't you just leave him alone? It's your fault he's so upset!" he exclaimed, about to close the door when Sheila popped in.
"Gerald! Let the damn boy in!" She warned. Gerald sighed.
"Fine. Five minutes only.. Kyle is in the backyard," Gerald said. Stan nodded and thanked him, heading through the house and right back out, opening the sliding glass door slowly.
He peeked his head out and saw Kyle, who was sitting on the grass playing on his phone.
"Hey, dude," Stan said, trying to be casual. Kyle looked up from his phone and turned around, staring at Stan.
"What," was all he said.
"I thought that everything would get better if we broke up, but it got worse! Maybe we should get back together," Stan put his hands in his pockets. Kyle frowned angrily.
"But I'm not gay and neither are you, Stan!" He reminded him.
"And what does that have to do with this?" Stan asked, confused. Kyle didn't reply. Then he took a step closer.
"You think you can just say that shit you said to me and think I'll take you back?! That I don't care about anyone's feelings and that I am heartless?!" He yells.
"You said it had to seem real!" Stan attempted to defend himself.
"Not that real! No girl would ever want a dude who is now seen as an uncaring dickbag asshole!!" Kyle exclaimed. Stan looked down and decided to be honest. Pouring his heart out was always hard, but it was KYLE he was talking to here.
"Fuck. I'm so so sorry, Kyle. You make me so confident and so happy. I feel like a better person when I'm around you. We complete each other," He paused.
"And... you were right. I'm more talented than I thought. Maybe I shouldn't be so cynical. Fuck, Kyle.. you changed something in me years ago, and I want to be able to help you right now," Stan said, looking back up and into his friend's eyes.
Kyle turned away.
"I want to be myself. Not the person everyone else wants me to be. That isn't who I am. Sorry, Stan, nice awakening, but you'll have to go be gay with someone else," he said, looking at his phone again.
Stan sighed deeply.
"Okay, Kyle..," He turned around and went back through the door. Once it closed, he leaned against it for only a second. "Okay."
•
Gerald decided to go speak to Kyle, having seen and heard the earlier scene, and deciding that maybe the two should get back together after all.
He entered his room and saw Kyle looking down at nothing in particular, tears running down his face and a pained expression along with it.
"Kyle, listen to me," Gerald started, making Kyle look up in surprise, "You can't fight being gay, son. It's not a choice. If you resist, then you'll be miserable the rest of your life... I was acting selfish earlier, but even I can see your real feelings. Don't be like me, you're the most selfless kid in town. I love you son, and I'm proud of you," He said endearingly. Then he gave Kyle one hundred dollars.
He placed the bill in Kyle's hair and got up and left, leaving Kyle alone to think about what he said. He heard Kyle close the door behind him once he left.
•
Stan sat at Stark's Pond. He went there every time he was sad. He stared out at the water and then sighed, pushing away from the bridge and walking again. His head was down and he didn't know what to do next.
His friendship with Kyle was surely over. It felt like a million years had passed since the last time they had a snarky conversation with jokes and banter.
As he walked, he eventually heard footsteps beside him. He finally looked up and in front of him was Kyle. They stared at each other silently, not wanting to talk just yet.
Kyle then took a deep breath and extended his hand out. Stan stared at his hand and then at Kyle, hesitating slightly.
"Is this a joke?" He thought. But he saw Kyle's serious looking face and decided to go for it. He took Kyle's hand in his and leaned against him. The two began to walk hand in hand back towards town.
They walk past Stan's dad and Wendy's parents, hearing them cheer them on. Stan is embarrassed, but Kyle just nudges him and starts talking about his day like he usually does, bringing Stan into a sense of normalcy.
They cross the road and see Craig standing there with his parents. He stares at them in shock while his mom and dad both seem delighted.
The whole town, seeing love in the air, has started to act more romantic towards one another while the two make their way back to Kyle's house.
"Hey, want to play board games when we get there?"
"Fuck yeah I do!"
Kyle and Stan played checkers on his living room floor, ignoring the fact his parents (and many more randos) were watching them.
"You suck ass. Thought you were smart?" Stan teased, triumph in his voice. Kyle scowled.
"Yeah, keep saying that when I destroy you," He threatened, then made a move and lost to Stan, "Oh- WHAT?!"
•
The next day at school, they strolled down the hallway holding hands again, laughing and smiling past their friends.
"Hey, what the fuck?" Cartman said, standing next to Kenny and Butters, who are visibly shocked. The pair ignore them, talking about their plans to go on a "date".
"H-Huh? Oh my gosh, are they actually together??" Butters exclaimed, glancing at Kenny worriedly, "You don't think we'll end up like them, do you Kenny?"
Kenny shook his head, "Naaah. I'm the straightest dude alive, I'd plow like fifty chicks in a row and they'd forget right about it."
"Oh, okay! Whew!"
Stan and Kyle rolled their eyes and walked past them, thinking about their pretend date. Little did they know, neither of them were pretending. They just thought the other one was.
Hiding their excitement, they planned a day in the park. It might be simple, but it was all they needed, and they were broke once again. They spent all the money their parents gave them on stupid games and way too much candy.
At the park, Kyle lifts Stan up to sit on a tree branch next to him, and Stan slowly starts leaning against him. Kyle wraps an arm around him, the other arm holding a flower in his hand that Stan had given to him earlier.
"Hey, you think everything will go back to normal now?" Kyle asked suddenly, turning and facing his fri- boyfriend.
"Well, I sure hope so dude," Stan smiles. Kyle sighs quietly.
"Me too..." Kyle muttered. He puts his hand inside Stan's pocket and holds the flower carefully in between his fingers. He swore that in the background he could faintly hear Japanese singing.
"It's probably nothing," he thought to himself, then focused on Stan again. Stan suddenly hugged him, burying his head into Kyle's chest.
"Everyone will probably forget about this whole gay thing soon and then we can stop pretending to be together," Stan muttered. Kyle frowned at this and thanked Moses that Stan didn't see.
"You're right. But what if I don't want to stop pretending?" Kyle responded. Stan lifted his head.
"Are you... Are you serious?" Stan asked, feeling his heart race even though Kyle couldn't possibly mean that. But the way that Kyle smiled down at him and looked at him, it was almost impossible to doubt it.
"I've been thinking about it, dude..." Kyle admitted softly, his usual harsh tone vanishing. They smiled at each other, "It's like... kinda nice like this. We can... um... stay together. I-If that's good with you!"
"...I want to stay together too. And uh, you can kiss me and stuff later and yeah," Stan replied awkwardly. Kyle laughed.
"Okay," he replied. The two went back to silence, and Kyle pulled Stan upwards off his lap. He tilted his head back and leaned in. Stan began to shake. Kyle gave him a look of confusion, and then Stan shook harder, his eyes going wide and his face green.
"Wait-" He realized what was happening too late, and Stan puked into Kyle's mouth before they could even touch lips. He screamed in surprise and backed away, wiping his mouth.
"Gross, Stan!!" He yelled. His cheeks were flushed red, and he gagged. Stan looked mortified.
"Fuck! I was trying to hold it in. I'm so sorry!" He apologized profusely. Kyle laughed hysterically and wiped his mouth.
"Well, I'm not kissing you now with that vomit taste!"
Stan lowered his head, "I'm so sorry. Can we forget that just happened?" Stan begged. Kyle rolled his eyes, his face redder, then nodded.
"Yes, yes we can. Sorta ruined the moment, but it's not a big deal," He reassured him, "We can always try again later," He finished, making Stan smile again.
•
After their date, Kyle and Stan walked home together hand in hand, truly happy.
Stan couldn't believe he was thinking this, but thank God for Asian girls and their yaoi art.