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As the summer went on, Cassian, Kay, and Luke found themselves settling into a routine in Yavin. Driving between the motel and City Hall. Nights with the others at the Falcon. Meeting with Leia and the City Council on proposed reforms. Kay poured over the city statutes with a red pen and sent long emails to Leia over everything the town was missing. Cassian got into loud fights with Jyn over spreadsheets that eventually culminated in Baze asking Melshi to help him buy noise-canceling headphones. Luke more often than not skipped out on his own work to go grab coffee with Bodhi- which meant his work got picked up with Cassian, who just started working longer hours in the office alongside Jyn. Sometimes, they didn’t fight. Other times, they did. Just another part of the routine.
That routine also included joining the others for lunch in the Parks Department’s bullpen. That particular day, the office’s windows were open, letting in the late September breeze. Usually, everyone would be eating and laughing, chatting about a sports match or a movie or the latest piece of City Hall gossip. Except no one was talking today. They all stared at each other, eyes twitching, wondering who was going to break first.
Only ten minutes earlier, Baze had strode into the office, uncharacteristically giddy. “I just rescued this beaut from the dumpster!” he announced as he carried in an old school typewriter. Since sitting it on his desk, he had been typing at the keys incessantly, each key a loud “clack!” that grated on the ears of the listeners. The monstrosity needed oil, and probably a new return too, but despite its obvious need for repairs, it was somehow music to Baze’s ears. To everyone else, it was nails on a chalkboard.
He got up a few minutes later to retrieve more paper from the supply closet down the hall. As soon as the office door shut, Kes shouted, “Go! Go! Go!” and the gang all got up from their spots to surge into Baze’s office and crowd behind his desk.
“Somebody, please destroy that thing,” Shara begged.
“Stand back, Shara,” Melshi said dramatically as he stretched. “And welcome to the gun show.” He reached across the desk to grab the typewriter, but strained at its weight, unable to lift it. “Nevermind, gun show canceled. That thing weighs a hundred pounds!”
“What’s he writing?” Jyn asked, pointing to the paper. Because she wasn’t the closest of the group to the desk, she had to reach across Cassian’s chest to point to the typewriter. He stiffened at the graze of her touch, and she pulled her arm back quickly.
Kay squinted at the paper to read off it. “‘If you sons of bitches even think about touching this, I’ll kill you.’”
Everyone hurried back to their seats in the bullpen. Baze came back in, whistling to himself with a giant stack of paper in his arms.
“I’m going to type every word I know!” he said with glee as he sat back down. “Rectangle!” Clack-clack-clack. “Freedom!” Clack-clack-clack. “Megaphone!” Clack-clack-clack. “Monday!” Clack-clack-clack. “Butthole.”
Jyn mimed stabbing herself in the eye with her spoon.
-
The next morning, with the conference room door shut, they could mostly escape the sound of the typewriter. Cassian tried to speak louder than usual to help drown it out.
“Two weeks out from the Harvest Festival, and we’re looking good on all internal preparation fronts. The only component where we’re lacking is in estimated attendance, which is why this week we’re focusing on a media blitz. With the interviews we have scheduled, we should be able to boost event awareness by 34.6 percent.”
“Thirty-four-point-six percent,” Jyn mocked in a robotic voice. “I’m Cassian, the numbers robot.”
“Funny,” he said, with an inflection that suggested it was not, before continuing. “Now, if we want to hit our goal of 30,000 attendees we also need to make sure coverage gets beyond just the local markets-“
“You know, you do have a point,” Luke said to Jyn across the table. “We usually give Kay a hard time, but Cassian does the number robot thing too.”
“Exactly!” Jyn grinned.
Kes had an idea, and suddenly straightened up in his chair. “Jyn, sounds like you’re paying pretty close attention to Cassian if you’re picking up things like that.”
“Focus,” Cassian tried to command the group. “Now, assuming we average 5,000 views per media appearance-“
“I can’t unsee it now either,” Bodhi interrupted.
“Cassian the numbers robot,” Jyn mocked again. “I love my calculator and plaid.”
Cassian looked down at his plaid button-up shirt. “What wrong with plaid?”
“It’s just not the best choice for you,” Jyn replied, “But at least you stopped dressing like you’re going to an accountant’s funeral.”
He narrowed his eyes. “At least I don’t show up to work looking like I’m going to business casual Warped Tour.” Jyn looked at her own outfit, an old concert tee worn under a blazer. “When’s Panic! At the Disco playing?”
“This is an MCR shirt and you know it,” Jyn shot back. “Stop being difficult.”
“I’m the difficult one?”
“You both really check out what the other’s wearing, huh?” Kes chimed in.
“Alright kids, stop fighting,” Leia interrupted, taking over for Cassian at the front of the room. He returned to his seat next to Jyn, and she stuck her tongue out at him. Seemingly unable to remember that he too was an adult, he stuck his tongue back out at her. “Save it for the playground,” Leia ordered one last time, before pulling up on the projector the team’s calendar for the day. “Everyone needs to be on their best behavior, because we have a lot of ground to cover. First up, the morning radio circuit: Luke, Bodhi, and I will head to the NPR station; Jyn, Cassian, and Melshi, you’re at 96.0.” She looked at Jyn and Cassian, fighting over the same outlet for their laptop chargers, while Melshi attempted to balance a pen on his forehead. “Actually, Kay, you go with them too.”
“Leia, we already agreed I wouldn’t do any interviews, but that doesn’t mean I have to be the babysitter.”
“You’re not the babysitter, Kay,” Leia tried. “You’re…the chief of outreach management.”
“Sounds like you’re making me the babysitter,” Kay grumbled.
“Most of all,” Leia said, “Do not go off script. I sent each of you a thirty-page document of all the potential questions you may get asked, and their relevant answers. Everybody memorize all those?” An uneasy murmur went through the room in response. “Good. Stick to the script. If they ask you anything I didn’t prepare for, just get back to a prepped answer as quickly as possible.”
“This will be fun!” Luke said to Bodhi as they got up to leave. “I’m excited to spend the day working on the same team as you.”
“Me too,” Bodhi said. “This will be good for us, see a bit better how we are together when we aren’t on a date. Or in a hospital.”
“I guess these assignments today could be like a date,” Kes said thoughtfully, then shouted after the others as they left. “On an unrelated note—Jyn, Cassian, good luck out there!”
“Kes, what are you doing today?” Leia asked, confused at what he was even up to.
“Don’t worry boss, I have plenty to do.”
-
Soft jazz faded away as the host leaned back into the microphone. “Welcome back, from that morning moment of musical contentment. This is Yavin Public Radio, and I’m your host, Kuiil Ugnaught. I’m here today with Mayor Leia Organa to discuss the upcoming Harvest Festival. Mayor Organa, can you tell us a bit more?”
Leia turned her charm up to eleven. “Thanks, Kuiil. I’m so excited for the Harvest Festival, because it’s a truly innovative combination of the Harvest Festivals I’m sure we all remember from our childhoods, and the latest ideas in sustainable development.”
“So I’ve heard,” Kuiil said. “The City even brought in a team of experts to advise the project- and one of them is here with us today?”
“He is!” beamed Leia. “Luke Skywalker has been a great help with planning the Harvest Festival, and I’m so glad to have him on our team.”
“Thanks for being here, Luke. Can you tell us what we can expect at the Festival?”
“Everything you could want in a Harvest Festival,” Luke said, and even if it was a radio interview, you could hear the smile in his voice. “There’ll be a farmer’s market, pumpkin patch, games, rides, food- so much food. I’m really excited for the candy apples, I haven’t had one of those in years.”
“Oh, those are my favorites too!” Leia said. “Except, I was obsessed with blue food as a kid, so my mom would put food coloring in the sugar.”
“No way,” Luke exclaimed, turning in his chair to face her. “I was obsessed with blue food when I was a kid too! I even tried to make blue milk!”
“That’s adorable,” Leia said.
Watching Luke and Leia in the studio laughing, Bodhi felt left out. Sure, he had been very clear about not wanting to go on air, and sure, he was just on the other side of the glass, but watching the conversation play out, Luke and Leia both seemingly unaware he was even there as they went on about their favorite foods and everything else they couldn’t wait to try at the Harvest Festival, Bodhi felt a twinge of emotion he couldn’t quite identify.
And then Leia put her hand on Luke’s arm to laugh at something he said that wasn’t even that funny, and Bodhi knew exactly what he was feeling. Oh, that’s jealousy. Great, just great.
-
Walking into the studio, heavy metal screeched from the speakers in the hallway. Kay instinctively put his hands over his ears. “I highly doubt this meets the dictionary definition for ‘music.’”
“You’re listening to YVN 96.0, the only number we could get for this station because we wanted the reverse but they told us FM radio doesn’t go that looooooow,” a voice boomed from the speaker. “Don’t hit that dial, turd-buckets, we’ll be back with the hardest rock right after this.”
“Yavin’s very own shock jock, jock rock station,” Jyn explained sullenly. “Charming, isn’t it?”
Cassian consulted his notes. “It says we’re here for an interview with…someone called ‘The Douche?’”
“That can’t be right,” Kay said, swiping the notes to read them himself.
“I love The Douche!” Melshi exclaimed. “That guy’s the best! He does this game, ‘Celebrity Fart Guess,’ and it’s my goal in life to one day win. I’ve studied all the old episodes to prepare.”
“That’s your goal in life?” Cassian asked.
“Like I said,” Jyn grumbled, “Charming.”
A friendly-looking woman with curly hair stuck her head out of the studio door then. “Howdy, folks. You looking for someone?”
“Yes, we are,” Kay said primly. “Could you please help us find Mr. The Douche?”
“Sure!” the woman grinned. “That would be me!”
Jyn, Cassian, and Kay tried to hide their shock.
Melshi didn’t. “You’re The Douche? No, this can’t be-”
“I am,” the woman insisted. “But I prefer Peli Motto when I’m not on the air.” She held the door to the studio open. “You must be the group from City Hall- come on in, I’ll get you set up for the interview.” Jyn and Cassian followed her in.
But Melshi stood rooted to the spot in the hallway. “Will you be alright, small one?” Kay asked with a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. Or, at least, he meant it as sympathetic. It sounded sarcastic anyway.
Melshi was still processing the news. “I can’t believe it…I called in to The Douche and asked if pre-workout would make my poop smell weird. That was supposed to be guy talk!”
“If only we lived in a world where you could google questions instead of asking them on live radio,” Kay responded. “But, if it was long ago, I’m sure she won’t remember.”
Melshi looked at him, eyes wide in horror. “…It was last week.”
In the studio, Jyn and Cassian settled uneasily into their chairs. “So, uh, Peli,” Jyn began, “You seem a bit…different than your on-air personality.”
Cassian elbowed her in the side. “Behave,” he muttered to her.
“It’s a genuine question!” Jyn hissed back.
Peli didn’t notice. “Oh, for sure! You know, I wasn’t always The Douche- I started as a sound tech here. Then five years ago, the old host toasted his vocal cords at a fire breathing workshop, I got brought on last minute because I could do a pretty good impression, and the rest is history.” She sat down in her own seat, adjusted her headset. “Now, before we begin, I do want to warn you that this requires getting deeply into character. It will seem very genuine, but please know, whatever I say, is all an act, because the station won’t let me do anything different.”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine-“ Cassian started, before Peli hit a button and he was cut off by the prerecorded sound of a lion roaring.
“Welcome back, snot rockets, it’s me, The Doucheeeeee,” Peli (now The Douche) said in a convincing impression of a middle-aged man with a harassment lawsuit out against him. “Before we can get back to rock so hard it belongs in your mom, we have a couple of nerds here from City Hall to tell us about a tailgate happening next week. Jyn Erso, Harvest Festival Co-Chair, give us the deets.”
Jyn sighed, reminding herself she was doing this to save City Hall, because she believed in a higher purpose, that this would’ve made her parents proud, yada yada yada… “Well, The Douche, the Harvest Festival is like a tailgate, but not exactly. It’ll run Thursday through Sunday, the second weekend in October, and all proceeds will fund City Hall innovation projects and a new city-wide development plan.”
The Douche made a farting noise with her mouth. “Booooooring.”
“It’s really not,” Jyn insisted. “This is a one-of-a-kind project, created in collaboration with some of the state’s leading consultants-“
“Oh yeah, the guys sent to bankrupt us?” The Douche drawled.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jyn said firmly.
“No, you do. Also in the studio with us today is the Festival’s other Co-Chair, and one of those consultants, Cassian Andor. I looked this guy up, and, get this, scam artist if there ever was one.” Jyn and Cassian exchanged a worried look as The Douche continued on. “At 18, he got elected mayor of some hick town called Ferrix, then totally bankrupted the place. Now he travels around and bankrupts towns across the state. Andor, I’ve got to ask, what do you do with the money, the millions you steal from taxpayers?”
Cassian cleared his throat, oddly nervous. “I don’t, uh, I don’t make money off this. I mean, I make a salary, but it’s not-“
“What Cassian’s trying to say,” Jyn interjected, “Is that no, he doesn’t bankrupt these towns and run off with the money. His job is to go to towns near bankruptcy and balance their budgets. If they can’t finish the job, that’s on them, not him.”
“Can’t say that about Ferrix, though,” The Douche countered. “I read the town got totally wrecked by him, years later they still don’t have any jobs and they’re so tight on cash that the nicest restaurant they have is a gas station Subway.”
Jyn realized that as she talked, she was also balling her hands into fists under the table. “And what’s your source for that?”
“A Buzzfeed article called, ‘Ten Worst Crap-holes to Live In,’” The Douche replied smugly. “Your boy here is the reason Ferrix is at number four. So is this what he does? Is Yavin next? When he runs this place into the ground, do you get some sort of kickback-“
Jyn couldn’t take it anymore, and lunged across the table, to steal away the host’s mic. “Shut up!” Cassian jumped up then, grabbing her by the arms to pull her away from the Douche.
Peli hit a button to turn off the recording, and music flooded into the studio again. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she exclaimed.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Jyn shot back. “We didn’t come on your show to get attacked.”
“I told you, it’s all fake! My producers told me to stir some shit, Ferrix is the first thing that comes up when you search this guy’s name, it was low-hanging fruit!”
“Take it back, then.”
“No can do, Erso. You knew this was live.”
“Then, get back on and apologize.”
“Also no can do, extremely off-brand.”
“Jyn,” Cassian tried to reason, “Let’s just go.”
She wiggled out of his grasp, shot one more look of contempt at Peli, then stormed out. When Cassian joined her out in the hallway, she turned on him. “How could you just let her say that bullshit?”
“Well, I wasn’t expecting to get grilled over Ice Town of all things today, so maybe I was a little off-guard. That doesn’t mean you need to start a fight.”
“She can’t just get away with it!”
Kay and Melshi came up to them then. “Quick, let’s get out of here,” Kay said. He held a small cable in his hand. “When she started shit-talking Cassian I swiped the central output cable. Now, the only thing they’re broadcasting is static.”
“Brilliant, Kay!” Jyn exclaimed.
“Put it back, Kay,” Cassian insisted.
“Fine,” Kay said, but instead of putting it back in the equipment room, he turned and chucked it down the hallway. “You didn’t say where!” He took off running towards the exit, and Jyn and Melshi followed, laughing manically. Cassian followed with a sigh, resigned already to this being a really long day.
-
Kes put a bag of popcorn in the office microwave, and wandered over to Baze’s office while he waited for it to pop. “Uh, Baze?” he asked. “You still typing, buddy?”
Baze nodded without looking up. “I’m typing up all the flyers for the Festival.”
Kes thumbed through the four-inch stack of identical handouts on his desk. “You do realize we have a copy machine, right?”
“Time for a status check!” Leia’s voice rang out, as she, Luke, and Bodhi, followed by Jyn, Cassian, Kay and Melshi, reentered the office. “How did everybody do?”
“It was fine,” Jyn said simply.
“It was amazing!” Melshi added. “Jyn tried to fight The Douche!”
“She was asking for it!” Jyn insisted.
“How was she asking for it?” Leia demanded. “She was your interviewer.”
“She was attacking Cassian for Ice Town, and he couldn’t say anything, so I had to do something!”
“It wasn’t I couldn’t say anything,” Cassian corrected. “I chose not to. And I don’t need you to defend my honor.”
“Actually, that’s pretty great, Jyn,” Kes said, as he opened his popcorn. “I really admire your loyalty to Cassian. Cassian, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I said to stick to the script,” Leia reminded Jyn. “Which you better do, because your next interview is with Holdo.”
“No,” Jyn said.
“Yes,” Leia ordered.
“No. Why can’t you do Holdo?”
“You know damn well why I can’t do Holdo.”
“If neither of you can take that one, should I do it?” Cassian offered.
“No!” Jyn and Leia said in unison, before Jyn added, “No offense, but she’d eat you alive.”
“What’s wrong with Holdo?” Kay asked.
“Originally, nothing,” Leia explained. “Her parents worked with mine in the State Senate, so we grew up together. We were friends for years.”
“And I was friends with her from detention,” Jyn added. “Always liked her better than Leia, no offense.” (“No, I know,” Leia replied.) “She may have been the daughter of politicians, but she had pink hair and once stole an Empire security golf cart to crash into a dumpster.”
“Wonderful, sounds like she fit right in with this merry band of rebels,” Kay remarked. “So why don’t we like her now?”
“Because after graduation she dyed her hair blonde and became a gossip columnist,” Leia sighed. “Now she writes for the local paper while running a horrid scandal blog on the side. No idea why a switch flipped in her like that.”
“Bullshit!” Jyn said. “You know exactly why, it was your fault!”
“It wasn’t my fault!”
“She asked you out, you said no really rudely, and ever since she’s been determined to ruin you! And any of us with you!”
“Okay fine, not fully my fault, but maybe I was a contributing cause,” Leia admitted. “I was young and an idiot and could have handled it better. But that’s exactly why I can’t do it now! And she’ll lose it if we stick her with someone she hasn’t heard of before. Jyn, you have to do it, but you can’t let it get out of control.”
“Fine,” Jyn caved. “But I’m not going to smile and act like we’re besties.”
“Just don’t get into a fight. The bar’s literally that low.” Leia turned to the others. “Kay, Cassian, Melshi- you’re going across the street to tape Threepio at 3. Luke, Bodhi- we’re heading downtown for Elthree’s show. We might’ve had a bumpy start this morning, but we’re course correcting now.”
“Psst, Cassian,” Kes said, stopping him before he left with the others. “Very cool what Jyn did, fighting to defend your honor. What are you going to do to thank her?”
“I never asked her to ‘defend my honor.’”
“You know what I was thinking would be great? You should buy her dinner. Somewhere nice. I can send you a couple of places Shara and I really like-” but Cassian was already walking away, following Kay and Melshi back out the door.
-
“This should be a piece of cake,” Melshi said as he walked with Cassian and Kay into the small television studio. “Threepio’s a giant nerd. Even more than Kay. Nothing intimidating.”
“Hello!” a lanky, bespectacled man said as he came up to them. “I am Cee Threepio, head of media relations. I am beyond honored to host this interview for you. Mayor Organa and I go way back- when she was just a baby, I was the press secretary for her father. What a fine man. What a fine family. I’m surprised Mayor Organa wasn’t able to make it herself, but I understand she’s a busy woman. No favor for an old family friend is too small! In fact, there is an old Dutch saying, Goed heft goede hulp nodig, which translates into ‘Good needs good help.’ This isn’t an exact translation, however, it technically means-”
“This one’s annoying,” Kay muttered.
“Quiet, Kay.”
-
Baze looked suddenly up from his typewriter. “I smell trouble.”
“Your spidey-senses tingling again, Chirrut?” Jyn asked from where she stood waiting behind the office’s counter. Baze didn’t resond, just shut the door to his office as he returned to his typing.
The source of the disturbance in the force walked in then. “Jyn Erso,” Amilyn Holdo said with a broad grin that never reached to her eyes. “How are you?”
“Just splendid,” Jyn managed, every ounce of her wanting to fight the command to play nice. “Can’t wait to discuss the Harvest Festival with you.”
Holdo gave an airy, mirthless laugh as she sat down. “C’mon, Jynnie,” (Jyn clenched her jaw, but didn’t interrupt), “You know that’s not exciting enough. No one wants to read about a dunk tank in a parking lot.”
“Actually, we’re putting a bigger emphasis on the sustainable agriculture exhibits, instead of games-”
“What the people want,” Holdo continued. “Is something juicy, something dirty. Everyone loves a good scandal. And you got into a fight on the radio this morning over some Harvest Festival accusations.” Her pen was poised over her notepad, ready to jot down notes. “So let’s address those right now. What can you tell me about Cassian Andor?”
Jyn took a deep breath, refused to let Holdo bait her. “Cassian Andor is one of three consultants brought on by Mayor Organa on behalf of the City Council. He’s taken on an expanded role in planning the Harvest Festival, and is my co-chair in organizing the event.”
“Jynnie,” Holdo drawled again, “That’s not the full story. Everyone knows about the Ferrix Incident now.”
“He was 18. Surely you, of all people, understand why you may not want others remembering what you were like when you were younger?”
Holdo narrowed her eyes at the veiled threat, but didn’t respond. “There’s accusations that he isn’t qualified for his role. His professional record is just work as a failed mayor and then city bankruptcy auditor- what does he even know about creating the kind of sustainable development you’re claiming this event will kick off?”
“His budgeting background provides useful insights-”
“Maybe a nepotism hire? Where’s he really from?”
“I told you, Ferrix. No connections to the government before his mayoral term.”
“Other reasons, then? He’s old friends with the mayor-”
“Old friends with the mayor, but at least he’s a current one too,” Jyn couldn’t resist jabbing.
Holdo didn’t respond, but you could tell her patience was wearing thin. “Connections through that fancy private college in Coruscant, then? Admit it, Jyn, that ‘networks over hardwork’ bullshit goes against everything you stand for. You can tell me if you hate him, if he’s out to get us, if he’s going to ruin this town.”
“None of that’s true.”
“Oh?” Holdo asked quizzically. “You don’t hate him? Then how come multiple sources saw you getting into loud arguments with him at the Falcon the night the consultants arrived in town? Or the reports by other City Hall employees claiming you two get into screaming matches in meetings? Jyn, if you oppose his appointment, what he’s doing here, just one article telling your side of the story could change everything-”
“I don’t hate him,” Jyn insisted. “Did I trust him right away? No, but I think anyone in my line of work would at first be unsure of any outsider, of some big firm pretty boy with a fancy degree-” Holdo began writing feverishly at that “-coming in to oversee a local project. But he has proven all summer that he’s the right person for the job. He’s qualified, he’s smart, he’s competent. End of story.” She stood. “And I think you should go.”
“Well, if that’s all you’re willing to say, I guess we’re done here.” Holdo stood to leave. “I’m a quick writer, so the story will be up this afternoon.”
“Can’t wait to read it,” Jyn replied with a forced smile, but let out a breath she’d been holding. That didn’t go too terribly, she didn’t say anything controversial.
“Tell Leia I say hello,” Holdo called over her shoulder as she went out the door.
“I definitely won’t,” Jyn muttered through gritted teeth as she continued smiling and waving goodbye.
-
“You’re going to love Elthree,” Leia said to Luke. “She’s glamorous, she’s a badass-”
“She’s also very loud,” Bodhi interjected. “So, don’t feel like you have to best friends with everybody you meet.”
“Well a friend of Leia’s is a friend of mine,” Luke said cheerfully.
“Of course,” Bodhi grumbled under his breath.
“Leia Organa, you bitch!” a tall woman called out, walking up to them and giving Leia a kiss on both cheeks.
“Good to see you, El,” Leia said, returning the greeting. “You know Bodhi-” Bodhi just nodded at her, “-but this newbie here is Luke Skywalker.”
“Luke I’ve heard so much about you, that you and Leia are just two peas in a pod,” Elthree said.
“When did you hear that?” Bodhi asked.
“We get along splendidly,” Leia said, looping her arm around Luke as he blushed. “He’s gonna break my heart when he leaves town. If only I could figure out a way to make him stay in Yavin forever.”
Luke looked at her with wide eyes. “You mean that? Really?”
Bodhi didn’t say anything. Just tapped his foot and resisted the urge to throw something at the wall.
-
You wouldn’t know it just looking at him, but Cassian felt nervous as he sat under the studio lights and a producer counted them down. But he had worked hard over the years at controlling his emotions, and very few things could catch him off guard.
“Hello, Yavin,” Threepio said as soon as the camera started rolling, “I am Cee Threepio, but you already know that. What you don’t know is my guest here today, a Mr. Cassian Andor. Mr. Andor is a Co-Chair of the upcoming Yavin Harvest Festival, but this isn’t his first brush with government. He was also, at just 18 years old, elected mayor of Ferrix, before that town’s historic economic collapse. Mr. Andor, could you tell us a bit more about that?”
Except, one of the few things that could catch him off guard was questions about Ferrix. Cassian stared blankly at Threepio, and tried to think of an answer.
-
Luke and Leia’s chemistry was even more evident once they were on camera together, especially given Elthree’s more casual, conversational format.
“Alright now,” Elthree led, “Name the attraction you’re most excited for at the Harvest Festival. Three, two-”
“Corn maze!” Luke and Leia said in unison, before collapsing into laughter.
“I’m sure it’ll be a-maize-ing,” Luke was able to get out, before he and Leia couldn’t talk from laughter again.
Bodhi angrily flipped through Leia’s 30-page document of prepared questions, and didn’t see a single mention of “uncontrollable giggling” on the approved answers list anywhere.
-
Baze was now humming to himself as he clacked away on the typewriter. Jyn was trying to cut the power to Baze’s office, just so he wouldn’t have any light to type by, when the guys returned. “Hey!” she said, shutting the electric panel. “How’d it go with Threepio?”
Kay brandished a flash drive in response. “Let’s watch this together, shall we?” he said, before stalking towards the conference room.
Kes joined too, with the bag of popcorn he’d been carrying around all day. He sprinted to take the second to last seat available, leaving Jyn to take the one next to Cassian, who refused to make eye contact with her. This can’t be good, she thought to herself as Kay pulled up the video.
And, yep, it was a shit show. As soon as Threepio asked Cassian about Ferrix, he turned into a stammering mess. But the more he stammered, the less coherent his answers got, until he began to ramble. Kay started fast-forwarding through some parts, pausing every so often just to check and make sure, yep, still a mess, still Cassian having a breakdown on camera.
“They let me name it Ice Town! No one stopped me and that’s on them, really.”
Fast forward.
“This isn’t a scar, it’s a birthmark! So no, I’m not perfect! No one is!”
Fast forward.
“Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?!”
Fast forward.
“Are you okay?” Threepio asked, in a cross between concerned and confused.
“Yeah,” Cassian replied, “Except sometimes, I think I need glasses.”
Fast forward.
Kay paused the video as the lower-third changed from Cassian Andor, Harvest Festival Co-Chair to Cassian Andor, Human Disaster. “And for this last part, Cassian talked about how his celebrity crush is young Ruth Bader Ginsburg until the segment ran out of time and Threepio kicked him off the air and us out of his studio.”
“Real RBG, or the actress who played her in that movie a couple of years ago?” Kes asked through a mouth of popcorn. “Because you know who looks just like that chick?”
“What happened to you?” Jyn demanded, turning to face Cassian. “You acted possessed.”
“Okay, fine, I got off topic and that’s my fault,” Cassian said. “He kept bringing up Ice Town and I panicked. But it’s a middle-of-the-day cable access show. It’s not like anyone watches that shit.”
“Oh people here definitely do,” Melshi corrected. “Threepio at Three won an Emmy.”
“What?!” Kay exclaimed in shock.
“Not an actual Emmy,” Jyn backtracked. “One of the outreach coordinators at the state journalists guild is named Emmy and she started handing out awards. Yes, they did get sued for that. But the local outlets are a big deal here. Elthree, Holdo, Threepio-- people really care what they say. What they report makes or breaks what happens in this town.”
“So, to review, by bombing the media blitz, we’ve tanked the Harvest Festival, our careers, and the future of City Hall,” Melshi summarized. “Great job, team.”
“We can come back from this,” Jyn insisted. “My interview with Holdo, surprisingly, went okay. Cassian, that should be enough to save your ass.”
“That’s great,” Kes interjected. “Cassian, again, how could you ever repay her?”
Shara stormed into the conference room then. “What the hell did you say to Holdo?” she practically shouted.
“What? Nothing,” Jyn replied, taken aback. “I explained that all the accusations against Cassian were ridiculous but brought it all back to how the Harvest Festival’s going to be a success. Even she couldn’t have twisted that.”
“Oh really?” Shara asked, taking over the computer and typing in the local newspaper’s website. When it loaded on the projector, the latest article’s title took up the whole page: UNQUALIFIED ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT HIRED TO BANKRUPT YAVIN WITH HARVEST FESTIVAL SCHEME.
“Shit,” Jyn breathed.
“That’s a bit wordy for a title,” Kay observed.
Shara read the article’s first paragraph aloud. “ ‘Cassian Andor, one of the consultants hired by Mayor Organa for a price no one fully knows, is unqualified for his job as Harvest Festival Chair. His Harvest Festival Co-Chair, Parks and Recreation deputy director Jyn Erso, even hinted that he was hired not for his professional experiences, but from a combination of nepotistic connections, meaningless educational credentials, and even what she termed pretty privilege. Even more damning, no one can seem to agree where Cassian Andor is actually from. Though sources have reported he claims Ferrix, the first city he bankrupted, as his hometown, archives from that hospital have no record of his birth, raising the potential he’s not a citizen at all, but an illegal immigrant.’ ”
“There’s a lot of follow-up questions we need to get to the bottom of to fix this,” Kes started. “Such as-- Jyn, you mentioned pretty privilege, so what exactly is your opinion on Cassian’s appearance?”
“Holdo’s twisting everything I said. She tried to say Cassian was unqualified, but I said it wasn’t any of those things! Then she asked me one throwaway question clarifying where he was from, and I said Ferrix. What’s the problem with that?”
“Uh, just one,” Cassian said. Everyone turned to look at him. “…I wasn’t born in Ferrix.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Shara grumbled as she rubbed her eyes. “Should it matter? No. But is the press going to kill us over this? Definitely.”
“I grew up in Ferrix,” Cassian insisted. “Even in Mexico, no one’s heard of Kenari. But then we moved to the States and Ferrix right after I was adopted so it’s just easier to say I’m from there.”
“Just send in a copy of all your documents,” Kay suggested, “Then she’ll have to correct the story.”
“Absolutely not,” Shara said fiercely. “We’re not stooping to her level, treating this as legitimate. Because then what’s going to stop them from demanding paperwork for everyone they don’t like? No, we’ll fix this some other way.”
“I think if Jyn and Cassian put their heads together, they could figure something out,” Kes offered. “So why don’t we all go, give the two of them some alone time to figure it out?”
“I don’t see how much good that would do,” Kay said, “I feel like the more brains on this issue, the better.”
“Are you really trying to do this right now?” Shara hissed to Kes.
He whispered back to her, “Fifty dollars is a lot on a government salary, you know.”
Jyn angrily typed a number into her phone, and as soon as it picked up, shouted, “When did you become a racist?”
“Well hello to you too, Jynnie,” Holdo’s voice drawled through the speaker.
“Don’t play with me, Holdo,” Jyn threatened. “What the hell is your problem, and why the fuck did you write that?”
“I’m assuming you’re referring to my official article, in The Yavin Times. I uploaded my first draft to my blog, was quite proud of it, if I do say so myself. But we have a new editor over here, she asked for a bit more emphasis on the controversy. I just had to cover both sides.”
“Don’t try that ‘both sides’ bullshit with us,” Shara threatened. “We can have a defamation suit out against you by the end of the week.”
“Shara, great to hear from you too darling, but as lovely as this party sounds, it wouldn’t be me you’d be naming. My editor wrote the lines on the question of his citizenship, so Dedra Meero is who you’d want to bring your issues up with, not me. Though I’d be careful, I know you’re used to dealing with me, but Dedra doesn’t seem half as friendly. But toodles, girlies, and good luck with your boy toy, Jynnie!” And she hung up the call.
The others came back into the office then, Luke and Leia laughing arm in arm as Bodhi stomped behind them.
“Please tell me you were at least successful,” Shara said as they walked in.
“Oh it’s been fucking splendid,” Bodhi huffed.
“It really has!” Luke said brightly. “Everyone I’ve met today- Elthree, Kuiil, the gentleman who returned my wallet when I dropped it on the side of the road-”
“That was a guy trying to steal your wallet before you noticed him and said hello,” Bodhi corrected.
“-everyone,” Luke continued. “Has just been wonderful. And Leia has made me feel so at home showing me around town and introducing me to everyone!”
“How were things here?” Leia asked hopefully.
“Jyn and Cassian killed the Harvest Festival,” Kay said.
“But at least they did it together,” Kes added with a smug grin. Shara grabbed his bag of popcorn and threw it in the trash.
After watching the footage (“What the hell was wrong with you?” she asked Cassian) and reading the article (“What the hell was wrong with you?” she asked Jyn), Leia quickly jumped into action. “We can still save this,” she said, as she began sketching out the beginning of a game plan on the conference room’s whiteboard. “We’re going to have a press conference, with all of the media, to set the record straight and lay down the facts. Jyn, you’re going to apologize and read exactly what I write for you, word for word. Cassian, you’re not going to be allowed anywhere near a mic. I want everyone’s entire focus on damage control, and nothing else.”
“Leia,” Baze announced, walking into the room. “I made something that should help.” He handed over a piece of paper.
Which just said, in the typewriter’s font, “PRESS CONFERENCE. COME. OR ELSE.”
-
Luke kept trying to talk to Bodhi as he checked in journalists for the press conference. “There’s so many fun things to do in Yavin that I had no clue about, that Leia’s going to show me. She said there’s a new gender neutral fashion boutique that just opened downtown that she’s going to take me shopping at soon, and it’s right next to a milkshake place-“
Bodhi finally cracked, and slammed his clipboard down on the table. “Look, I get it,” he snapped at Luke. “Leia’s charismatic, beautiful, she shits sunshine out of her ass. You want to be with her. You’re not the first. So just go ahead, hang out, don’t worry about me.”
“…Is something wrong, Bodhi?”
“No.”
Luke realized what was happening. “Wait a second. You’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.”
Luke was smiling now. “You totally are. And you are adorable when you’re jealous.”
“I’m not-”
“But, you don’t have anything to worry about.” He reached out to hold Bodhi’s hand. “Leia may be an old friend, but she’s just that. Just a friend. Because I like you, Bodhi Rook.”
“Then why were you so starry-eyed and all over her when she said you should stay? I don’t want to sound clingy, but we haven’t even talked about what you leaving after the Festival means for us. So to just hear you so casually tell Leia you’d think about staying, it hurt.”
“I…I don’t know what I’m going to do after the Festival. But you also hadn’t asked. And I would have reacted the same way if you said something first. I love being here, in Yavin. These past few months have been truly spectacular. The community is so strong here, everyone is friends at City Hall- it feels like I’m part of a family. For the first time in my life, I’m part of a big, messy, chaotic family. And alongside all of it, I have you.”
All of Bodhi’s earlier anger melted away at the speech. “I wish we had a less chaotic family to offer you.”
“You don’t mean that. You wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Bodhi smiled. “You’re right. Welcome to the family, crazy sisters and all.” He paused. “Actually, you can’t have Jyn, she’s already my crazy sister and if we had the same sister that’d make us siblings-“
“Gross,” Luke agreed.
“So I guess you can have Leia. Ask her to be your honorary sister.”
Luke grinned. “Do you think she’d say yes?”
“I’m sure she’d be thrilled.”
-
Kay stepped in front of Threepio, blocking him from entering the press conference.
“Kay Tuesso!” Threepio said. “So good to see you again! In case you don’t remember, I am Cee Threepio, head of media relations-”
“Listen up, you bucket of bolts,” Kay said, leaning over threateningly. “You’re not going to air any of the footage from Cassian’s interview. You’re not going to say anything bad about him, or Jyn Erso, or the Harvest Festival at all. Understood?”
“Kay Tuesso, surely you must understand that as a protector of media ethics-”
“All of those accusations are false. You’re not going to report on anything Holdo said.”
“But as a reporter, I must report both sides-”
“How about this, then? Think about your old boss, State Senator Organa. How would he feel if you were reporting misinformation, treating it as a legitimate ‘second side,’ when you know it’s not. Wouldn’t he be disappointed in you? Wouldn’t Mayor Organa be disappointed in you?”
“Well when you put it like that, I suppose it is an issue, although I’ll have to write a new segment-”
“You’ll figure something out,” Kay said, and walked off, as Threepio kept talking to no one in particular about the importance of backup scripts.
Baze was standing nearby, hanging a sign that read, PRESS CONFERENCE. HERE. He looked at Kay as he approached.
“Don’t give me that look,” Kay said. “I did not explicitly threaten him. If he felt intimidated by my size, that’s entirely on him. I just thought, since I got dragged into this mess of a Festival, I might as well make sure it’s not a total failure.”
Baze didn’t say anything, but he did clap Kay on the shoulder as he walked away.
Kay, despite his insistence to Cassian and Luke all summer that they shouldn’t get emotionally invested in anything regarding the Harvest Festival, did feel proud of himself.
-
Jyn flipped through the script Leia had given her. “This is bullshit. She wants me to apologize for what Holdo wrote?”
Cassian sighed. “Just give the speech and get it over with.”
“How can you be okay with this? Everyone’s attacking you for doing nothing but trying to help us. This isn’t fair.”
“No, it’s not fair, but it’s also nothing new. No one ever likes me in these towns. But that shouldn’t take away from the hard work you and the others have put in to make the Harvest Festival a success. So just say what Leia wants, get the press to print at least something about the event instead of me. And then when the Festival is over you can fight people in a parking lot for my honor, if that’s what you’re still so determined to do.”
Leia was now making introductions and would be calling Jyn up in just a few moments. “Listen,” Jyn said, turning to Cassian, “I’m sorry this became such a mess, but I only did this because you don’t deserve them shitting on you. And forget about it, if other towns didn’t like you before- so what? We like you here. Those of us that matter, at least.”
Cassian gave her a small smile, but didn’t have time to say anything, because Leia called her up then. Jyn made her way to the podium.
“Good afternoon,” she began. “My name is Jyn Erso, and I’m the Co-Chair of this year’s Harvest Festival. Thank you all for coming out, as there are a couple of stories regarding the Festival that we’d like to address, mainly regarding the accusations against my fellow Co-Chair, Cassian Andor. These accusations-” she paused. Looked out the reporters, hanging on her every word. Down at her paper, the words she didn’t want to read. Then off to the side, at Cassian, who had been at her side all summer. From the original pitch, to the presentation at the Chamber of Commerce, from early mornings to late nights working in the office. No, it didn’t matter how much damage control it would do. She wasn’t going to distance herself from all the work he put in too. “These accusations are all false.” She crumbled the speech into a ball, even if she could see Leia, just off stage, sigh. “Cassian Andor has done nothing but work hard to save this town since he arrived at the start of this summer. He paid to bring back Yoda, when we thought we were going to have to cancel the children’s concert. He organized a team of employees to make sure everyone’s voice was heard when we experienced an unexpected surge of constituent meetings. And he has been my co-creator in each step of the Harvest Festival planning process. We would not be here today- City Hall wouldn’t even have the lights on- without him. And I’m extremely disappointed in Yavin if none of you will respect him for that.” The journalists mumbled amongst themselves, like scolded children. “Cassian,” Jyn said, “Do you have anything you want to add?”
Cassian looked from Jyn, to the crowd, back to Jyn again, before making up his mind and heading up to the podium. “Thanks,” he whispered to her, before saying into the microphone, ‘I wish we hadn’t gotten off on the wrong foot, but I’m here now. And I’m going to do everything I can to save your town. The Yavin Harvest Festival is next week, and we hope to see you all there.” He nodded at the Jyn, and they walked off the stage together, to where Leia was waiting, with arms crossed, as the reporters began shouting at them.
But Leia didn’t look angry. She just shook her head, and said, “Well, that’s about how I expected it to go.”
“You’re not angry?” Jyn asked. “But the speech, I went off-script-”
“And I think going off script is the best, and only, thing you could have done,” Leia replied. “You’re right, we can’t just let them run with accusations. We need to dig our heels in and fight. They spent all day attacking my best people, I can’t just take that.”
“Go get ‘em, boss,” Jyn smiled.
“And, I promise I’ll never make you cover a media tour again,” Leia said as she headed back to the podium. “Either of you.”
“Thank god,” Cassian muttered, and he and Jyn headed to the back of the room, as Leia started fielding questions.
“You know what?” Jyn whispered to Cassian, as they leaned against the back wall to watch the rest of the press conference play out. She wanted to talk to him, but she didn’t like how she had to stretch upwards to get close to his ear. “It’s not the worst set-up. You and I make a mess, let Leia clean it up. I could get used to this.”
To his credit, he at least leaned over to make it a bit easier for her. “Mess? What mess?” Cassian whispered back in faux confusion. “You and I did nothing wrong. We simply did the first part of a project, and passed it off for Leia to finish the rest.”
“And we didn’t blow it all up first?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Good,” she said, and elbowed him good-naturedly in his side. He responded with a huff of air she took as a laugh.
Deciding that she much preferred joking in the back of the room over paying attention to whatever the reporters were saying, Jyn leaned back to Cassian a moment later and whispered, “You know, I do have a lot of follow-up questions about this crush of yours on ol’ Ruth.”
“Justice Ginsburg,” he corrected. “Show some respect.”
“It’s fine, me and Ruthie go way back.”
“Oh? You’ll have to introduce me.”
“Depends, I don’t know how you’ll act when you meet her. Do you promise to behave yourself?”
“I always do. Unlike you.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. But before I make the introductions, I must know- which of her opinion briefs turned you on the most?”
“You’re teasing me,” he leaned to say so close to her that his stubble scratched against her ear. It made Jyn shiver, but she just thought to herself that somebody really needed to fix the air conditioning in City Hall. “You’re trying to get a rise out of me. It won’t work. I’m not embarrassed about having a thing for strong women.”
“Sir, the feminist movement thanks you for your service.”
“Anything for the cause,” he replied solemnly. “And don’t think I don’t have any questions for you, after that interview with Holdo. Just how pretty did you say I was?”
“Nice try, but I’m not going to let your ego get too inflated. I just gave a whole damn speech about how helpful you’ve been, no more compliments from me today.”
“Just give me a number. On a scale of 1 to 10?”
“Not a chance, Pretty Boy.”
“That counts as another compliment.”
“Actually, it doesn’t. When I say ‘Pretty Boy,’ it’s with every bit of disgust I can muster.”
But she was smiling as she spoke. And, so quick she almost missed it, he winked at her in response.
-
On the other side of the room, watching Cassian and Jyn act like they were on their own planet, another couple was whispering to each other.
“Admit it, mi amor,” Kes said as he wrapped his arm around Shara’s waist. “I’m going to win this one.”
She rolled her eyes. “Mi amor,” she said back, just a hint of sarcasm with the endearment, “I think you’re overestimating others’ ability to admit their feelings.”
“I know, not everyone can be as smooth as me, you’re very lucky-“
“Don’t I know it.”
“-but I don’t think they’re totally hopeless.”
“No,” Shara said, as she watched her best friend grinning on the other side of the room. Since when does Jyn smile like that? “I don’t think they’re hopeless. I just think this is a slow burn.”