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Nursey wakes up shivering, eyes wet with unshed tears and a sob at the tip of his tongue. He wants to curl up into himself, hide beneath his covers away from the dark shadows in his room (if he looks close enough he swears that he can see eyes watching, judging him, always judging him, god). He tries to take a quiet breath, release the panic that's building up in his chest but it comes out broken and stuttering, a noise far too loud for the normally comforting silence of his room.
He's so focused on trying to breathe he barely feels the hand sliding it's way across his hip. Doesn't even notice until the arm's wrapped fully around him and there's a solid line of heat pressing against his back. Dex rubs his thumb back and forth against the heated skin of his chest, right over his heart. There's a weight behind the touch, a gentle reminder that whispers 'I'm here I'm here I'm here' over and over with every touch.
"You okay?" Dex asks quietly. When Nursey doesn't respond his hand stills, palm pressed flat over his heart.
"Nursey?" he asks again, a hint of worry colouring his tone. Nursey still doesn't say anything, can't say anything because he can't find the words to explain, does even know how to begin to explain the helpless feeling swirling in stomach. He doesn't even try to hold back the stready stream of tears that comes, overwhelmed and hurting for things that have never happened anywhere but in his own mind even though it still feels so real.
"Nursey? Derek? Derek, come on baby, talk to me?" Dex whispers, tugging at him to turn around. Nursey goes willingly, turns and presses his face into Dex's chest which is warm and solid and smells like home. Dex lifts both arms to wrap around Nursey, let's a hand slide into his hair and strokes it the way he knows will calm Nursey down.
This isn't the first time Nursey's had a nightmare like this, but it is the first he's taken this long to come back from wherever he goes when he's like this, from whatever demons he keeps locked up in that head of his. Dex hates that he can't follow him into his mind, that he doesn't know how to stop this or at least make it better. It makes him feel useless, makes his chest go tight with worry and anger and frustration because he can't do anything.
"Baby?" he tries again stilling his hand when Nursey finally looks up at him, eyes red and swollen, a few stray tears still escaping. Dex's heart breaks at the sight, at the raw emotions playing across Nursey's features, so foreign and misplaced and wrong.
"Fuck Derek, come on talk to me please, you're starting to scare me."
Nursey snorts quietly and sniffles. "Nothing scares you."
And then Dex is the one snorting because that's the furthest thing from the truth.
"I'm scared of a lot of things babe," he murmurs, a sudden burst of honesty making the words roll off his tongue as he tucks a stray curl behind Nursey's ear, "I'm scared right now. Because you're hurting and I can't...I don't know what to do to make it better."
"Dex..." Nursey says and something about the way he says it, heavy with meaning makes Dex's heart skip a beat.
"Dex you make it better," he says quietly. The soft smile and the slight crinkle around the corner of his eyes makes a warmth unfurl in Dex's chest that spreads all the way to his fingertips, something akin to butterflies and love swirling about in his stomach.
"Well, if you say so," he coughs out, voice rough with too many emotions and too many words he wants to say but can't just yet.
"I do," Nursey replies, a hint of cheekiness flooding his tone. If he's starting back with the cockiness it clearly means he's starting to feel better.
"Shut up and go back to sleep," Dex grumbles shutting his eyes and flopping back against his pillow. His hand betrays the grumpiness as it sneaks out to start stroking a line down Nursey's back.
"Okay," he hears whispered before there's warm lips pressed against his, soft and sweet with just the hint of a grin. Dex pulls him closer for a moment and relishes in the warm press of Nursey's skin against his, a bit reluctant to let go just yet -
(and if Nursey clings a little too hard to Dex until his breathing starts to even out under the soothing motion of his hands, if he spends the next two days silently asking Dex to hold him when they go to sleep, if he presses kisses to his skin in a wordless mantra of I love you I love you I love you, well that's just between the two of them ).