Work Text:
Something feels so off-kilter.
It’s like the past is lingering here.
So why are these ghosts so familiar?
Why are their voices ringing clear?
Am I nothing more than the shadows?
The thing of all my darkest fears?
I simply wanted a new start,
but this place is shoddy as can be.
Somehow it’s comforting,
a metaphor for me.
Coming undone, unraveling.
A picturesque fatality.
Losing myself accidentally.
Didn’t mean to be too faithful,
to be a nauseating yes-man.
Maybe if I could say no, you’d say the word that grants my ring upon your hand.
But that’s me, baby, a sissy ‘til the end.
Your sissy to defend.
I’m far from a dutiful son.
Oh, the things I’ve pictured that I’ve done.
That I want to do sometimes.
But can either of us escape this conundrum?
You’re a shell of yourself, and seeing you that way it takes my entire being not to run.
And I didn’t mean to tell that one lie,
I just have these dreams of mine.
They were my last lifeline.
Do you even know what it’s like
to be cursed by your own eyesight?
To go to bed a failure each night,
left to stare straight at the finish line?
Oh my god, can I die?
Oh my god, I want to die.
Oh my god, just let me die.
I’m so crooked inside out.
Somebody free me of these doubts
before I choose to do it now.