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Considering how the previous challenge went, it was of no surprise to any of the Killer Bass that the Screaming Gophers started their day with shouting. This time it was Heather and Gwen, the pair ripping shreds out of each other – verbally – all while Lindsay did her best to paint her toenails and Leshawna slept with a pillow over her head.
“What’s the damage this time?” asked Cody, wandering over to where Bridgette, DJ and Geoff were watching the unfolding disaster.
“Heather’s gotten sick – y’know, from being locked in the freezer,” explained Geoff. “And she’s pissed.”
“Serves her right,” grinned Duncan, falling into place and wrapping his arms around Cody. Cody leant back, tucking his head under Duncan’s chin, and the pair relaxed, content to snuggle in each other’s embrace and watch the two girls argue.
“You two look happy,” grinned Bridgette.
“I think… we are,” said Duncan slowly. Cody just smiled.
Even the rather terrible mushed-up breakfast containing most of the cooking challenge’s meals couldn’t wipe the smile off their faces, nor could Courtney rattling off accusations when Duncan swiped an extra mug for Cody. Of course, once she’d finished, she still sat down opposite them and began happily talking to Cody about some fancy wine-based thing that went right over Duncan’s head. But for the first time, he found he didn’t mind. He was stunned to find himself content to just sit by and listen, feeling Cody lean into him and place his head on Duncan’s shoulder.
***
“So, last week’s challenge exposed a few Gopher issues…” Chris began. He was about to continue when Sadie screeched something incomprehensible and flung her shoe at Courtney. Courtney dodged, her martial arts training kicking in as she dropped to the ground, wiping out Sadie’s feet from under her and sending her toppling over.
“What the hell?” Duncan asked bluntly.
“She used all my hair product! And she ripped up my picture of Katie! And she—” exclaimed Sadie.
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“And I’m sensing a little something funky floating in the bass pond too…” finished Chris. Already, he’d lost the attention of most of the teenagers, who were torn between comforting a sobbing Sadie and questioning each other over what the heck Sadie was even talking about.
Chris coughed, and was promptly ignored as two teams’ worth of teenagers charged off the jetty and towards the cabins.
“Cut…” groaned Chris, and the cameraman obliged.
The teens all stormed into the girls’ bunkroom to find it a mess. Clothes were torn out of their drawers, one of the beds had been tipped over – and ruined hair product globbed out in a massive puddle across the carpet. Another three bottles of the stuff were missing. And there were scratch-marks everywhere.
“Look what she did!” wailed Sadie.
In the background, Cody and Duncan shared a look – this had none of the signs of Courtney, and they knew it.
“It looks… feral – and whatever it did, it also hit Courtney’s bed on its way out,” Cody observed.
The pair sighed. They could feel the oncoming headache – especially when Chris got out his megaphone and began announcing the challenges at the top of his voice into the small room.
***
Extreme freehand rock climbing – in theory – was not that bad. At least Gwen and DJ were harnessed and on belay, but – to add to that Heather and Duncan were holding them steady. This was already looking to be easy for the Bass.
Sure enough, when Chris unleashed jalapeño sauce on Heather and Duncan, Heather let Gwen fall while Duncan just drank the sauce, while wearing a pair of shades Cody had suggested he take.
Cody felt so proud of his suggestion; helping his team and his boyfriend. Damn he loved thinking that. Boyfriend.
Of course, as soon as Heather had picked her screaming self up off the ground, and Gwen once again overtook DJ like the mountain-climbing billygoat she apparently was, Heather pulled on a cord and then Gwen’s pants were ripping off like paper in the wind.
Well, that was certainly a sight.
“Well, you don’t see that every day,” whistled Chris. And ew, he was like… forty or something.
“No, you don’t,” came Duncan’s reply – although he was busy looking at the ground, and wasn’t that nice – Duncan having such restraint that he’d rather look at the ground than ‘betray’ his boyfriend. Not that he would, thought Cody, because he couldn’t fault anyone simply for looking, but the thought was nice.
Until DJ fell off the rockface, and Duncan’s distraction meant that he didn’t spot the rope twisted around his ankle until he was in the air, being knocked together against DJ like a pair of conkers. Gwen grabbed her ruined pants and kept climbing.
So she won, and then Lindsay, Trent, Bridgette and DJ were being led off for the second challenge, leaving the rest of them to go and hang about while they waited.
Cody and Duncan set off on a hike around the island, following one of the many trails beaten into the ground by successive years of hikers stamping along them.
“These challenges are getting more and more ridiculous,” grumbled Cody. “I mean last week’s was what – cooking? Is he running out of ideas already?”
“At least the cooking challenge wasn’t as bad as that failure of a paintball game,” chuckled Duncan. “One of the crew told me that the majority of that episode was just snippet edits because they had nothing to work with.” Cody grinned, barely holding back laughter.
“Of course they had nothing!” he sniggered. Then, he sobered.
“Duncan,” he began. Duncan looked up, his eyes full of something Cody just couldn’t describe. “You know, just because we’re dating, doesn’t mean I… doesn’t mean I expect you to only look at me. I get it – I’m a dude too. So… just know that I trust you. Eyes like looking at pretty things.”
Duncan paused, considering Cody’s words. Part of him wanted to snap out the first reply to come to his mind – but that could lead to a fight, and that is the opposite of what Cody is trying to create. He’s… he’s being honest, and figuring out how to make this relationship work. Work beyond the island, beyond the show.
“My eyes do like looking at pretty things,” he said with a grin. “And nothing’s prettier than you.” He lunged, cackling at Cody’s aborted shriek, tackling the smaller boy to the ground and dotting his face with kisses.
“Okay! Okay! I get it!” wheezed Cody as Duncan’s fingers began tickling at Cody’s sides.
Duncan helped Cody up, and the two began walking again.
“Y’know… I trust you too,” said Duncan quietly.
“And I think you’re the only thing I want to look at too,” Cody retorted. And if that didn’t warrant another kiss, well…
The camera crew quietly deleted the footage without any prompting, and left them to their private time.
***
Chris rounds them all up just after noon – though quite notably Trent is missing and Lindsay looks a bit apologetic.
“Good news!”
“Is it ever good news if Chris is giving it?” muttered Gwen. Cody high-fived her.
“The third round involves three more challenges! It’s the three blind challenges! It begins with the blind William Tell, followed by the blind trapeze and culminating in the treacherous blind taboggan!”
“And as usual, Chris announces his torture with an award-winning smile,” sighed Duncan.
A raccoon skittered past, and both Cody and Duncan paused, watching it. In the background, Sadie and Courtney were arguing loudly, but the raccoon…
It’s fur was marked with some liquid that was the same shade as Sadie’s hair product. Sadie’s organic vanilla-boysenberry hair product.
“Well,” murmured Cody.
“Now we just have to catch it,” finished Duncan. Behind them, Sadie roared that she would shoot for the blind William Tell before Courtney could even open her mouth. There was an evil glint in Sadie’s eye, and everyone honestly felt a little sorry for Courtney.
Leshawna and Sadie lined up, slingshots in hand. Owen and Courtney – with eye protection because the production team wasn’t that heartless – were placed opposite their teammates, arrows placed on their heads because apparently Chris hadn’t read William Tell properly and had somehow mixed up apples and arrows.
Leshawna and Sadie fired – and quickly bruises bloomed on Courtney as she was pelted with crab apples. Owen was too, but he was handling it better.
Leshawna managed to hit the arrow off Owen’s head with a crab apple first – and Sadie managed to knock out the skulking raccoon while aiming for every part of Courtney that wasn’t her head. Duncan was almost convinced she was doing it on purpose.
Courtney went down, swearing vengeance, and Cody dragged Chef off to collect the raccoon (Duncan would bet his entire life-savings that Cody or Chris or Chef were going to use it for a dramatic reveal later)
With Trent completely out of action, and Courtney fighting off what was probably a concussion, the next challenge was… no better than the last two.
“It’s a trapeze,” hissed Duncan. “A flying trapeze over jellyfish. This is insane.”
“Lindsay, Heather – you will be playing for the Screaming Gophers! Duncan, Cody – you two are up for the Killer Bass.”
Duncan silently wished for lightning to strike Chris dead in that moment. While yes, his entire team (minus Cody) had already participated in challenges, it didn’t make sense to pair them… oh wait. Oh.
“Hopefully they’ll catch you or that’s gonna be one heck of a painful swim,” grinned Chris, answering the question Heather asked while he was thinking. She and Cody were holding blindfolds – so they were going to be the ones jumping from the sides of the trapeze then.
That meant Duncan was going to have to catch Cody.
***
Duncan began swinging backwards and forwards, trying to get a feel for the trapeze. The stupid thing was already groaning with just him on it – hopefully this claptrap trapeze would hold both of their weight.
Down below, Chris ‘subtly’ pushed some of Courtney’s clothes at Sadie. Sadie grabbed the first piece out of the pile – a shirt – and ripped in half with barely any effort. Okay, so she’d gone and gained super-strength in her anguish. That was… good to know. DJ and Geoff awkwardly shuffled away from Sadie.
Duncan began swinging forwards.
“Do you trust me, Cody?”
“Of course,” replied Cody, stepping away from the wooden post he’d been clinging to. Duncan smiled, already swinging backwards.
“Right. And… jump!” Cody jumped, and Duncan put everything into the swing, extending his hands out. Cody’s left hand just missed his – so Duncan grabbed his wrist, steadying him as they swung backwards, safely over the jellyfish.
Heather was less lucky. Lindsay – being Lindsay – wasn’t quite as adept at timing as Duncan had been, causing the ‘Queen Bee’ to go plummeting into the jellyfish.
Her maybe-enraged-maybe-pained screams filled the air as a pair of interns hurried forwards to help Duncan, Cody and Lindsay off the trapeze. Heather meanwhile managed to swim to the edge of the pool and stalk away, being shocked by the sting of the jellyfish every few steps.
Chris – never one to let a few life-threatening injuries get in the way of his reality show – immediately sent the group on their way to the final challenge.
A blind toboggan run. In other words, four more people in the infirmary.
“Not many of you left, huh? Keep losing you guys!” Chris shrugged. “Oh well.”
Thankfully, neither Duncan nor Cody were chosen to go hurtling down the hill with a blindfolded driver – but nevertheless, it was pretty terrifying to watch. Especially when the explosives started going off, sending dirt hurtling through the air and showering both teams in rocks and soil.
“This is madness!” screamed Gwen. “Go left! LEFT Leshawna!”
“Right DJ! Right!” shouted Geoff. DJ just clung to the reins tighter, going in a straight line right the way down.
“Look out for the stream DJ!”
“What stream?”
“Is that a raccoon eating my hair product?!” Cody watched as the raccoon went bounding in front of Sadie, a half-wrecked can of hair product in its paws.
“What flavour is your hair product again?” asked Bridgette slowly.
“Organic vanilla-boysenberry,” said Sadie. “Why?”
“It was the raccoon all the long!” groaned Duncan. “How are you that dumb? There were literal claw marks all over your cabin!”
“Oh… oops.”
The commotion was enough to distract Geoff, who forgot to warn DJ about the impending river – which they promptly crashed into, wiping out and sloshing all over the place. Gwen and Leshawna managed to make it across the finish line.
“What a wipe out!” grinned Chris. “Killer Bass, I’ll see you by the firepit.”
Duncan and Cody nodded, and after checking on Geoff and DJ, headed straight away into the woods to get away from the inevitable insanity that was about to break out.
***
“I swear you make me a nicer person,” chuckled Duncan.
“And you give me a devious streak,” retorted Cody. The two had stolen all of Chris’ hair product from his trailer while he went out to try and spice up the drama by ordering confessionals. They had then gone and dumped all of the hair product under Heather’s bed. Truly a noble deed, implicating Heather.
And now, they were in the forest, Duncan carving a skull while Cody followed his movements with his own practice piece of wood.
“Sooner or later Chris is going to suspect us,” said Cody after a few more minutes.
“Nah, the crew hates him almost as much as we do – dude’s not going to have any evidence.”
“We did vanish, only to reappear after all his hair product vanished.”
“Heather, Lindsay, Gwen and Trent aren’t in the camp either,” Duncan replied – and he pointed to a small clearing.
Gwen and Trent were having what could have been a nice hike if Trent wasn’t on a gurney while Gwen pointed out some nice birds. And beyond them, Heather was saying something while hiding behind a bush. Lindsay was taking notes.
“Ah, I see,” grinned Cody. “We’d best get back then. Chris’ll want us for confessionals in a moment.”
Duncan agreed, and they headed back hand-in-hand.
***
It was no surprise that Sadie was booted from the island. It was even less of a surprise that Courtney was extremely smug about this. As the boat coughed away from the harbour, Duncan and Cody met up with Geoff and DJ to have a boys’ card game night.
“So, what do we want to play?” asked Cody.
“Not Bullshit!” the other three shouted. Cody pouted.
“Fine.”
“Poker then?” suggested Duncan. Cody grinned, and they sat down to play.