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It all really began with the graffiti. Duncan was quietly carving a skull into the side of the Killer Bass’ cabin when Courtney came storming over.
“Not cool Duncan!” she hissed, shoving a wooden board into his chest.
“What did I do?” The board fell to the ground as Courtney shot Duncan the dirtiest glare he’d ever received.
“You know what you did!” Courtney fumed away, turning the corner and vanishing from sight. Duncan picked up the wooden board, and raised an eyebrow.
“What is that?” asked DJ slowly.
“It’s… profane, that’s what it is,” Geoff replied. “You didn’t do this, right Duncan?”
“Of course not!” spluttered Duncan. “Look at it!”
“Er…”
“Bad choice of words, whatever. I didn’t do it man!”
What it was, was a rather distasteful piece of carved graffiti that went quite heavily against Duncan’s status as a taken man with a boyfriend, not a horndog teen lusting after girls.
Duncan snapped the board in two and flung it on the floor.
“This sort of shit is what’s wrecking my reputation.”
“What reputation?” asked Geoff. “You hit on Heather on the first day, and you kept making googly eyes at Courtney a while back. Yeah, you’re cute with Cody and all – but you can’t deny that everyone knew you as a bad-boy delinquent.”
Duncan groaned.
“Yeah, a delinquent – but I carve skulls, not… that.” He gestured at the splintered wood. “Now, I’m going to set that on fire and then we’re going to find out who carved it.”
Duncan happily set the piece on fire, and the three were watching it burn when the loudspeaker crackled. Clearly, it was challenge time.
And for some unholy reason, the production team decided that the best way to shake up the competition was to have Chef Hatchett of all people run the challenge. Chef Hatchett, the former soldier and deranged camp cook with a frankly frightening collection of knives.
The teens scrambled to get to the Dock of Shame before Chef – and they only just managed it. Cody fell into line beside Duncan just as Chef came striding up, his boots rattling the wooden floorboards. A couple cameramen made minute tweaks to the campers – moving them slightly and switching up their order until Geoff – the tallest of the campers thanks to his hat – was in the centre of the shot.
“Line up and stand at attention!” roared Chef, wearing the drill sergeant outfit straight out of an 80’s army film. “You call this proper formation? Feet together! Arms down! Eyes forward! Head up!” Chef whacked several of the campers with a cane, then turned on Owen and hit him several times until he somehow managed to fit Chef’s criterion for ‘proper formation’.
To Duncan’s amazement, Cody just took a deep breath and fell into the correct stance as if he’d practiced it a million times. While Chef was up the other end of the dock shouting at Gwen, he leaned over slightly.
“Where’d you learn Chef’s proper formation?” he hissed. Cody stayed still.
“My parents considered basic training for me,” he replied, not moving an inch. “And I went for an entire summer – but the soldiers didn’t want me, so I just stood on parade and cleaned.”
“Oh…”
Chef barked several more orders at the contestants, ignoring every comment they made in favour of shouting into his megaphone.
“Now get your sorry butts down to the beach!” thundered Chef. Cody was the first to move, grabbing Duncan’s hand and sprinting down the dock, closely followed by all the other terrified contestants.
Their first task as part of the boot camp was to hold canoes above their heads. This was easier said than done. DJ and Geoff were easily the tallest contestants on the show, and them holding it above their heads meant Cody was basically just waving his arms in the air.
“I feel ridiculous,” grumbled Cody quietly.
“I get that,” sighed Duncan. “Here, lean on me if you get tired.”
“Thanks.”
Courtney scoffed from where she stood near the front of the canoe.
“What’s wrong?” asked Bridgette.
“Oh nothing. It’ll all become clear soon enough,” Courtney replied.
Lindsay eventually dropped out, and the teams were guided to the mess hall for ‘dinner’ – which was just the garbage from the last week. And it was meant to be followed by night training. The moment Chris and Chef left though; Duncan tilted his head over at the kitchen.
“Well?”
“Count me in,” sighed Gwen.
“Definitely dude,” grinned Geoff.
“I am not eating this,” agreed Leshawna.
“What are you planning?”
“Not much princess,” smirked Duncan. Courtney scoffed and crossed her arms. Duncan raised an eyebrow.
“What? Specials not to your liking?”
“I’m going to run for office someday and no one is going to pull up a photo of me eating garbage.” Duncan rolled his eyes and pulled out his pocketknife.
“Whatever princess. Cody, you want in?” He pointed at the kitchen. Cody chuckled.
“Definitely.”
Duncan grinned, and the ragtag group made up of the two teams managed to get into the kitchen and liberate some plain white bread and peanut butter. Amazingly enough, none of the production team noticed, and the group got away with their plunder, managing to scoff it down before Chef stormed in.
‘Master Chief’ Chef was there to forcibly teach every single contestant (except Lindsay, who got to go and sleep) how to do the Thriller dance – which was apparently cleared with copyright even though Cody’s rather incredible rendition of ‘Hey Jude’ was cut from the talent show episode. Worse yet, he seemed to think pelvic thrusts were a completely normal and fine dance move to do.
Duncan just had to cut the music and save everyone’s eyes. It certainly wasn’t because he was going to get a nosebleed watching Cody dance. Nope. It had nothing to do with how well Cody danced, his lithe body grooving to the music with a little shake of his hips that had Duncan closing his eyes before his self-control snapped.
This got him pushups, which was fine, and it also got Gwen sentenced to bathroom cleaning duty. Courtney hissed out several threats the moment the cameras cut, stunning Cody into silence.
“Why… weren’t you and Duncan becoming friends?”
“We were – and then he went and wrecked it.” Before Cody could ask just what that meant, the crew hustled them back to the mess hall to prepare for the next challenge. Cody was more than happy to leave the conversation.
He sidled over to Duncan.
“You know what’s got Courtney so wound up?”
“Yeah,” sighed Duncan. “She found this carving today… and she thinks I did it.”
“And? You carve things all the time and it’s never really been an issue before.”
“This wasn’t mine. It was…” Duncan grimaced; and explained everything. Cody frowned.
“So, Courtney thinks you carved… that, and you want to prove your innocence, but you can’t cause you have no proof you didn’t do it.”
“Yeah. What I worry about is what Courtney’ll do if she thinks she can use this.” Cody grimaced. Ah, Duncan did have a point. As much as he trusted Duncan and believed him; had Courtney been the first to tell him, he would’ve had a hard time believing Duncan, purely because of how bad it sounded.
“She can’t use it against us,” Cody said resolutely. “I know what happened, so even if she tells me, it doesn’t matter. Now, we just need to get everyone else onside.”
Duncan blinked.
“When did you get so good at strategy?”
“Sometimes I have good ideas,” smirked Cody, and he pinched Duncan’s side as he strode away. Duncan grinned, and jogged after his boyfriend.
***
After writing the worst essays in existence – about ‘Master Chief’ Chef of all people – Trent and DJ were booted, and Chef was covered in Owen’s drool.
“Uh… missed a spot there, general,” Duncan said, holding up a handkerchief for Chef. His tone managed to stay flat, but his eyes gleamed with mirth. Chef glared, his sunglasses unable to conceal his icy rage.
“Boy! Do you want to run fifty laps around this campsite right now!”
“We’re heading to bed, Master Chief sir!” Cody interjected politely. He grabbed Duncan by the arm and tugged on it until Duncan followed.
“Be careful,” hissed Cody. “You’re going to get us all into trouble. Please.”
“Fine,” groaned Duncan.
***
They were all up at dawn the next morning to run the world’s muddiest obstacle course. Owen did not manage to finish it – and thankfully, Duncan kept his head down. He also worked in tandem with Cody, helping his smaller boyfriend over the wall and creating a path in the mud. Watching Owen choke up several lungfuls of mud was enough to push Duncan into an overprotective mode.
However, one of the obstacles had some very familiar graffiti on it.
“DUNCAN!” screeched Courtney. The entire challenge screeched to a halt. “I know you did this!”
“Uh… he didn’t though?” Cody said, tilting his head. “I mean, the lines are too… rough to be Duncan’s handiwork.”
“What?”
“Have you ever properly looked at one of Duncan’s skull carvings?” asked Cody slowly. “They’re a bit jagged – cause he’s carving with a pocketknife – but they’re a lot rounder than… that.” Everyone was gathering around it now, including one stunned Chef.
“Who did this?!” he bellowed. Everyone shrunk back. “Answer me maggots!”
“It had to be Duncan,” huffed Courtney. “I mean, who else is able to carve?”
“I did not!” spluttered Duncan.
“One night. Solitary. Confinement,” hissed Chef. The entire campsite went silent. Cody winced; even Heather looked shocked. Leshawna and Geoff quietly glared daggers at Courtney.
“How bad can it be?” asked Duncan slowly, as if trying to ease the tension that had built up.
***
It was bad. Really bad.
***
Cody glared at Courtney from the corner of his eye.
“We need to do something about this,” he said plainly.
“About what?” asked Leshawna. “The fact Courtney’s wound up tighter than my aunt’s weave or the fact your boyfriend’s in solitary and being guarded by a jukebox playing wolf noises?”
“All of it and then some!” snapped Cody. “The mud, the madman, the garbage they’re trying to pass off as food. What we need is a plan.”
Cody cleared the table and shot everyone a look.
“And I have a plan.”
“Damn, skinny boy’s snapped,” exclaimed Leshawna. “And it’s perfect!”
***
The plan began with breaking Duncan out of solitary – which consisted of Gwen and Heather fiddling with the lock for several minutes and cursing under their breath until Cody got bored and opened the window instead.
“Or… we could do that,” mused Geoff.
“Heya sweetcheeks!” called Cody, sending the other campers into a fit of giggles. “Wanna bust out and help me score some actual food?” Duncan gaped at Cody for a long moment, then grinned wickedly.
“Now we’re talking!”
They got Duncan out through the window, and then he, Cody, Bridgette and Trent snuck towards the craft-services tent.
Leshawna, Geoff and a very nervous Courtney approached from the other side.
“Now,” hissed Leshawna. Courtney flung a rock as hard as she could at the tent, hitting the tent pole perfectly.
“What was that?!” yelped Chris from inside. Heather shimmied up a tree looming over the tent, and dropped several pinecones handed to her by Gwen. They bounced off the tent loudly, spooking both hosts inside.
“Who’s there?” demanded Chef, storming out. Geoff threw a sack of garbage as hard as he could towards the woods. It exploded on impact, making a huge noise. Both hosts sprinted for it, and in went Duncan, Cody, Bridgette and Trent.
They ravaged the fridge, the cupboards and the esky. Then, Cody plopped a rotting fish on a tray in the fridge.
“A little present from the Killer Bass,” he smirked.
“So my little prince has a dark side,” grinned Duncan.
“Flirt after we get out of here,” hissed Trent.
The four made their getaway under the cover of darkness, sacks filled with food on their back.
That night, all the campers crowded into the girls’ cabin and ate real food for the first time since they’d arrived on the island, playing cards and joking around and forgetting the competition for a few blissful hours.
And when they were all stuffed, they stashed the rest of the food carefully in an empty drawer.
“We all agree that that’s communal food, right?” Geoff asked.
“Yeah.”
“But Owen needs to be accompanied by someone else,” added Trent quickly.
“Dude!”
“You’ll eat our entire stash, and then we’ll have to deal with Chef’s slop again,” reasoned Heather. “And I can agree to an alliance over the food. No one wants to eat what Chef makes.”
The teens grinned at one another, and after sneaking Duncan back into solitary, they fell asleep just as the sun was rising.
That was when they found out that Chef was not happy that they’d taken his ‘wartime strategies’ to heart to liberate the food.
***
“Y’know, this ain’t so bad,” hummed Cody.
“We’re all hanging upside down on a tree,” Heather scowled. “It’s that bad.”
It was. An enraged Chef had added everyone back into bootcamp just to force them to dangle upside down from a massive tree’s branches as ‘retribution’ for the stolen snacks. Already, almost half of the campers had fallen to the ground, face-planting into the dirt before being dragged unceremoniously to one side.
“What you are experiencing,” Chef began, “is an ancient form of torture.”
“This is the third time his said this,” grumbled Courtney under her breath.
“By now, the blood has begun rushing to your head,” Chef pushed on, sneering up at the remaining contestants. “The next stage is nausea. Followed by dizziness, and a flushed appearance as the blood begins to pool in your eyes. You may experience fainting spells—” And Duncan dropped, falling out of the tree, and collapsing in a heap on the ground.
“Duncan!” yelped Cody. Bridgette hurried over to check on him, and that was when Courtney spoke up.
“What would end this?” she asked.
“Depends. Are you going to tell me who stole my food?” demanded Chef. Courtney winced, then paused. Everyone turned to shoot glaring looks at her.
“What do we get out of it?” asked Courtney slowed. Even Heather looked stunned.
“You want to give up the person?” she hissed. “That’s…”
“I’m willing to do anything to get out of this,” Courtney replied darkly. “I will win, and if I have to sell out someone, I will.”
There was a hushed silence.
“The Screaming Gophers win,” Chef said quietly, almost as if afraid to break the stillness that had descended on the clearing.
“We won…” murmured Heather. “Because…”
“They buckled to the torture,” realised Gwen. “We won… because Courtney was prepared to sell them out.”
And while the teens all did drop out of the tree with sighs of relief, there was a long and awkward silence that filled the air.
“Oh, and we checked the cam footage,” Chef mentioned off-handedly. “It was Harold doing that carving – he wanted to implicate Duncan.” Courtney’s eyes went wide.
“So Harold…”
“Was breaking the lock on our equipment shed and carving on everything in there? Yes. We’re handling it as we speak,” Chris announced, stepping down from the rope ladder the helicopter had transported him on. “This means Duncan is cleared of all charges!”
It was no surprise that Courtney was voted off that night.
“She could have been a good friend,” sighed Cody, watching as Courtney was bunged onto the boat of losers.
“But she was too up tight for it,” Duncan said grimly. “She was so close to changing too…”
“She got in her head,” Cody hummed. “Got wrapped up in the game and let it play her. If she’d just waited…”
But neither finished that thought, instead sitting quietly and watching as the boat receded into the distance, the moon draping a silvery blanket over the entire sequence of events and leaving the world quieter and more peaceful for it.
Eventually, Cody stood up, shaking himself out of Duncan’s grip and stretching out his arms.
“Come on, let’s head to bed,” said Cody. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll be with you soon,” Duncan offered. Cody nodded, and headed up towards the cabins. Duncan waited until he was out of sight, then strode almost silently to the water’s edge. He produced a small, carved, wooden skull from his pocket, and rubbed his thumb over it.
“Could have been a good friend…” Duncan murmured. He took a deep breath, and flung the wooden skull as hard as he could, watching as it sailed out of sight and into the water.