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Michael knew quiet; it being the main thing absent once heaven had been plentiful with angels. But he knew it when it was the only thing he knew; when he had been alone, a far time before Lucifer that the thought of more wasn't possible.
He knew it when it was something he craved from his exhaustion of three little brothers that offered no relief. It became the thing he learned as a soldier of the heavenly host and something he soon taught when the position of a leader had been thrust on him without him even knowing.
A soldier was supposed to keep quiet, keep their head down, and obey. No protest or sound to be made with anything aside from a simple 'Yes, Sir' with a bowed head.
But silence came different. It came in the form of what it once had; his little siblings not bothering him and—if he could say for Adam—his half-siblings not bothering him either. Quiet was when the occupants of the bunker were all hidden away in their respective rooms, or when each angel of heaven was engaged with their own respective duty.
The rarity that it was, it was appreciated when each individual could get it. Some took up a book, a hot mug of whatever warm beverage in hand; while others took another person's hand behind a locked door.
In their own little pocket of time of peace that was granted to them, he and Adam had taken residence on one of the couches. Neither of them had talked, instead, basking in the absence of everything as they sat across from each other, legs intertwined but still not close enough. The hanging dilemma that neither of them spoke of but knew resulted in their constant moving. And before either of them knew it, Adam had deposited his head onto Michael's lap; an innocent grin plastered on his face towards him while he did it as if he didn't know exactly what he had done.
Consequences be damned… though, that was exactly how Michael had found himself in the rather compromising position.
Adam's eyes had drifted close at some point and Michael found his hand had made its way to Adam's hair at the same incriminating point in time. His legs, locked underneath Adam's weight, that despite all his inhumane strength, it was his heart preventing him from moving a single breath with the risk of waking him up.
Quietness that had been savoured like a finely aged wine was quickly replaced for the moment in hand, or rather, in his lap. But if one thing was sure, it was that the rarity was now a necessity as Michael hopped nobody ruined their quiet afternoon.
He continued to comb his hand through Adam's hair, careful of minding any knots that had formed through the day and working them out with his fingers. His face was one of peace, absent of any outside afflictions to change just that. Something is not a smile of happiness, he'd much rather see peace than anything else.
Michael's focus was on one and one thing only—or rather someone—that he failed to pay attention to anything else.
"I see you're currently engaged," an all too familiar voice said.
He startled, quickly pulling his hand from Adam's hair. "I'm not—" his voice instantly died as Adam shifted, stirring a bit but still remaining asleep in his lap.
He looked up to see Raphael standing by the entrance, an amused grin on his face as he slowly made his way into the area.
"You were saying?" Raphael leaned against the armchair across from where they were sitting.
Michael shot a glare at him, receiving a small smile in response to his expression before Raphael looked down and fixed the cuffs on his jacket.
He couldn't help the smile that started to work its way up as he forcibly exhaled with a small shake of his head. He ran a hand through his hair while the other rested on Adam's shoulder. "Something on your mind, Raphael?"
"You could say," Raphael replied.
Michael cocked an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. The situation, almost humorous as he had done the same thing millennia before, when they were all children, being chided for misbehaving.
"Just… I've never seen you like this," he continued.
"Like?"
Raphael shrugged his shoulders and smirked. "Smitten."
"I'm not smitten," he quickly corrected, biting the word as if it personally offended him.
Raphael tilted his head in consideration. His eyes trained on a spot as he thought. "Besotted?" He offered.
"Not that either." Michael protested, eyeing Raphael down with a stern look.
Though it did little to stop him as he continued to look widely amused, no doubt plenty more words to taunt and tease Michael already worked out on his tongue in wait. "Shall I continue?"
"Do you have something you're trying to get at here, little brother?" He questioned, his tone short. Little siblings were exactly the one occurrence he didn't want ruining his afternoon.
"You're happy—content even," Raphael pointed out. "The last time you were like this I think we were all just kids."
"And?" Michael questioned.
"And," Raphael continued, "we all know your happiness has been a rarity since then."
He scoffed. "Our siblings have been sure of that."
"I mean it, Michael," Raphael pressed. "Since what had happened with Lucifer—"
"Don't..." He interrupted. A grimace on his face one would mistake for physical pain if no one knew the truth of the topic. Though a part of his every living second in the world was content on his lap. His usual reaction to the topic at hand was doused down like a fire under a calming steady drizzle of rain.
"You were never the same after," Raphael continued. No afraid to push into something only they four could talk about. "And then after we thought Gabriel was gone, well… you just weren't the big brother I knew anymore."
He didn't miss the way Raphael's voice dipped down into the contained feelings in his words that he knew they all held and locked away. He let out a remorseful sigh. "Raphael…"
Raphael cleared his throat and waved his hand, dismissing everything he just said. "That's all been said and done already, I think we all did enough talking about our emotions for the next few millennia."
"No, Raphael," Michael started, his voice softened and heavy with regret. "Things… are different now."
"They are," he agreed. "In more ways than one." He smiled, his gaze flickering down to Adam still sound asleep on Michael's lap.
Michael followed his gaze. "Meaning?"
Raphael walked closer with a light chuckle. "You know, Michael." He laid his hand on his shoulder with a gentle squeeze.
Michael reciprocated the touch, bringing his hand over and gently laying it over his. The gesture only lasted a few seconds, before Raphael walked away. He let out a deep breath as though he had been holding it for a long time.
Raphael's presence quickly disappeared while he had to deal with the lasting effects of his words. A small shift from Adam had him resenting the ache in his chest that made itself known. Everything being about, and because of him all without him wanting it to be.
Something Michael knew too well. Though not exactly what he needed to know, as he had no way of getting to it. Feelings locked away, neglected out of belief that he could never possess them. But the second something—someone—had stumbled upon it, all it took was a gentle look inside for everything to come out.
Adam had dared to look inside, he dared to say 'yes' out of reasons far from the reason that they now laid next to each other and spent most of all their days exactly the same.
But Michael still didn't know what was in those contained feelings, never once recognizing them while Adam placed names like titles to each change of emotion. His only way into knowing, being by Adam himself.
~*~
"You know when I said you should get a hobby, this is so not what I meant." Adam grabbed a book from one of the many stacks surrounding him on the floor and held out one to Michael.
The once stocked, but rather disorganized library of the bunker was now filled with bare shelves and scattered stacks of books organized by their category. What was a one-off suggestion early that morning had turned into an all-day event that both were committed to.
"I didn't suggest this," Michael remarked, accepting the book from him and sliding it into place.
"Well, I didn't think you would be the most entertained I've seen you in weeks organizing books, Michael. Wish I would have thought of this earlier if I knew this was all it would take." He handed off the last book in the stack before pushing himself from the floor.
"I'm not entertained by this," Michael argued.
Adam smiled, unconvinced as he sported an amused grin. "Uh-huh, Well, Mr. Not-Entertained, I'm going to go take a snack break, feel free to continue this—" he waved his hand towards their organized mess, "—without me." He cautiously stepped over the stacks, careful not to disturb anything before making his way towards the door.
Michael held the book in hand, waiting till the echo of his footsteps faded away. His presence, all the same, melted away with only the faint phantom lingering in absence of completion. Though… another separate presence was still there; far too familiar and bothersome, like an itch, for him to ignore.
He sighed. "I know you're there." He slid the book in hand into a space.
An amused chuckle was followed by the soft click of shoes against the flooring. "How'd you know it was a little old me?" Lucifer teased.
He reached for another book, ignoring Lucifer's antics. "What do you want, little brother?"
"Why do you always think I want something?"
He turned around and shot him a brief look.
Lucifer shrugged. "Fair enough."
Michael lightly scoffed and turned back to the bookshelf while grabbing for another book.
While things weren't what they once were—he and Lucifer at each other's throats ready to kill each other at any second—it didn't mean they were exactly how they were before the fall and the cage either. Lucifer was his brother still, after all, they had their sibling arguments and not-so-typical sibling arguments, but they had both learned to keep it to a minimum, or at least not in front of the rest of their siblings. Most notably the other two archangels who had voiced what damage their fighting had and continued to do, unbeknownst to their absent insight.
There was a happy medium that was not always so happy but still a medium of the two befores they had. Granted, they had their moments, not that either one of them would care to admit, or more so, less that Lucifer would care to admit. Michael had to admit himself, while affection towards his siblings had come back like second nature, it still felt foreign at times like an old unused native tongue. Something he once knew, as it was all he knew, but now became the last thing he ever expect to know again…
He listened, hearing Lucifer's steps sulk curiously and almost impatiently around the room. He inwardly smiled. "Going to tell me what's bothering you then?"
"Where's the fun in that?" Lucifer quipped.
Knowing exactly what game Lucifer was playing, he busied himself back with the books. His impatient brother would soon grow exactly just that, especially if Michael did little to acknowledge him. He waited a coupled of minutes, hearing Lucifer still antsing around till he finally broke.
"What if… I said I was curious?" Lucifer said.
"Curious?" He allowed himself to play Lucifer's game, amusing him with his engagement.
"Mhm," he hummed, stalking closer.
Michael put the book on the shelf. "About?" He questioned.
"Whatever you have going on with the kid." Lucifer picked up the top books from one of the stacks, lazily examining it and flipping through the pages.
He looked over. "Adam, you mean?"
"I don't know, who else are you sickly in love with?" Lucifer tossed the book off to the side, never minding where he grabbed it from.
Michael grimaced, making a mental note to remember what stack he had pulled from. "I don't find you funny, Lucifer."
"Not trying to be." He closed the distance between them, approaching the bookcase and running his fingers across the spines of the books. "Just stating the facts of what I see."
He hated the sly tone Lucifer kept, knowing he was only using the building suspense to his pleasure. Not to mention that Michael had had two occurrences with his siblings bothering him all within the same week. One had been enough when it was just Raphael, but Lucifer made it all the more worse in his own way.
"Did Raphael put you up to this?" Michael questioned, trying to see if he needed to worry about them ganging up on him.
"Raphael?" Lucifer asked incredulously. "When does he do scheming?" He leaned back against the bookcase to face towards Michael.
He glanced over at him, trying to find traces of a lie or a bluff on Lucifer's face but came up empty-handed. Only finding genuine confusion at the mention of their younger brother.
At least he didn't have to worry about that.
"Apparently with this, he does." He grabbed another book, ready to slide it into place before it was snatched out of his hand by Lucifer.
"So you do know?" Lucifer spoke, teasingly waving the book in front of him. "This?" He repeated his words.
He exhaled through his building frustration and anger before he tried to grab the book. Tried being the operative word as it was quickly pulled away from his reach, revealing Lucifer's mischievous grin.
He huffed. "I really don't understand what you guys are on about. I don't know anything." He used the fact that he was faster than Lucifer to his advantage; he reached over, quickly snatching the book back from him and slid it into place, finishing off the row and moving on to the next.
Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Or you do, and like usual, Mikey, you just don't want to admit it."
He reached for another book. "I have nothing to admit."
"Yeah and Dad was an amazing father," Lucifer remarked sarcastically.
He took a sharp inhale followed by a slow exhale; not in the mood for anything that the situation was. He tightened his hold on the book and turned his full attention to Lucifer. "What do you want me to say, Lucifer? Huh?"
"The truth, Michael."
"Like when you used to beg me for the truth when you were a kid?" He quipped.
He watched as Lucifer recoiled. Regret quickly settled in for him to want to take back his words, but knowing it was far too late. His words were already in effect and digging into old memories despite how much Lucifer tried to hide it.
"This isn't about me and I'm not a kid anymore." Lucifer waved his hand before crossing them over his chest, his back hitting the shelf.
"No, you aren't, Lucifer, so you can stop being annoying like one."
"Ah, little siblings obligations there, big brother," he stated.
Michael closed his eyes, his hand coming to his face with the bridge of his nose pinched between his thumb and forefinger. "I really don't understand all of this, Lucifer. And you guys aren't making it any easier."
"I'm trying to help."
His eyebrows shot up as he dropped his hand. "Help?" He scoffed out a laugh. "Right, because you helping always turns out so amazing doesn't it, brother?"
"I know I don't have the best track record—"
He snickered. "That's an understatement."
"Yeah, you don't have to be such a dick about it," Lucifer retorted.
Michael tried to ignore the tinge of underlying hurt in his voice, but the part of him that used to come running at every little occurrence of such a feeling won. And now, he did, indeed, feel like a dick.
He took a breath. "Look, Lucifer—"
Lucifer scoffed. "Now you're taking that tone with me like I'm a scolded kid."
"Because you're still my little brother, Lucifer." Michael slid the book he had been holding onto the shelf with more force than he wanted. The loud 'thud' of the hardcover against the back wood panel echoed in the absence of either of their voices. He ran a hand through his hair as he once again exhaled. He waited a few seconds till he dropped his hand from the shelf and mirrored Lucifer's position beside him, his back softly hit the half-empty shelves and his shoulder brushed against Lucifer's.
They both stood like that till Lucifer broke the silence.
"I am trying to help," Lucifer said, all teasing and sly remarks absent from his words. An honest statement that held credibility in its rarity.
Michael knew the moment wouldn't happen again, both of them worn out by each other's words that they let their walls finally fall around each other. So he took his chance, doing what he would have done once upon a time in a situation that mocked just that. He raised his hand, reaching over as he plopped his hand down on Lucifer's head and ruffled his hair.
"Micha!" Lucifer wined, moving his head and swatting his hand away.
He couldn't help but smile. The sight was all too familiar as Lucifer ran his hand through his hair, fixing what he had messed up. The nickname that slipped by every so often other than 'Mikey' when it wasn't used in a manner to irritate him. "I know, Lucifer. I know…"
"Well, I just don't exactly want to see you completely miserable… that's my job to do that."
He shook his head, chuckling at Lucifer's words. "I'm not miserable."
"Not yet, but you could be."
He would have taken what Lucifer said as a threat if it were any other moment. "Meaning?" He questioned.
Lucifer rolled his eyes, turning away to hide the fond smile that steadily worked its way up. "You're so oblivious, Michael."
"Ah, so I upgraded from 'dick' to 'oblivious'?"
Lucifer titled his head as if in thought. "Eh…?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Still a bit of a dick if you ask me."
Michael moved purposely to the side, gently nudging Lucifer's shoulder with his, not missing the small genuine laugh from him.
"Just more oblivious than anything," Lucifer continued. "Like that one time you—"
"Hey, Mich—Oh…" Adam stopped in his steps by the door, a bowl filled to the brim of trail mix in his hands. "Should I come back?" He threw a thumb over his shoulder to the door he just walked through.
"I—uh… w-we—" Michael sputtered trying to collect his words.
Lucifer rolled his eyes. "I was just leaving." He took over. "Right, Mikey?" He turned, shooting him a look while nudging his head in Adam's direction.
As if he wasn't even in the room, Michael ignored the gestures in favour of smiling at Adam. "He was."
Lucifer's expression fell, another eye roll meant for Michael as he pushed himself away from the bookcase and towards the exit. "Oh!" He turned back around. "Your boy toy's right by the way; this is a horrible hobby for you." He smirked and turned back towards the door.
They both looked after Lucifer as he left the room. Another small part of relief on Michael's part.
"What was that about?" Adam questioned, his eyebrows furrowed as he walked closer. He put the bowl down on a small end table next to a couple of small stacks of books.
A part of him wanted to blurt out the constant internal torture he was faced with on behalf of his siblings, but instead, he bit his tongue and shook his head. "Nothing," Michael replied with the start of a smile on his lips. "Just my little brother being his normal annoying self."
Adam's expression twisted into something unconvinced. "You sure? I mean, I believe you and everything, it's just… it was Lucifer after all."
His smile grew hearing the exhaustion from Adam's lips of his brother's name. "I'm sure."
Adam's unconvinced expression softened, not fully changing until he let a comforting grin lay somber. "Okay." He reached, gently squeezing his upper arm and leaned in, leaving a kiss on his cheek. "Just tell me when it is something, 'kay?"
The area of contact grew warm. From Adam's body or his own, he didn't know. He swallowed before his mouth grew dry and the opportunity was left in the dust. Adam's grip on his arm grew tighter, yet not enough to hurt or even begin to inflict an ounce of pain. But rather something of comfort as he waited for an answer.
He nodded, ignoring the white lie of his that he slipped behind. Something not entirely displayed yet he left it open for questioning; a bluff that he knew he would have dodged at Adam's every question. "Okay…" he said.
Adam smiled, he let his hand loosen and fall down Michael's arm, losing all warmth and contact the small gesture held.
Something if not he openly longed for what was hidden underneath fear or futile attempts. A warmth he once knew far deeper than the feeling itself, but that was now gone no matter how much contact they initiated in.
Adam grabbed his bowl of trail mix and moved back to his spot, having to jump the stack of books again to get there. He looked back at Michael, cocking an eyebrow when he didn't follow.
"Michael?" He called.
"Hm?" Michael hummed, snapping out of his daze.
Adam bent down, a book soon hanging in his hand as he stood by the next shelf that needed to be filled. "Ready? These books aren't going to put themselves away." He checked again, eyebrows raised and his lips curled into that desireful display.
And just like that, even if 'okay' wasn't what Michael would call the inner turmoil that brewed; suddenly it was. Warmth and the new but growing vine of comfort washed over him. A malady to the heart in the irony that if offered life back in the same breath. He nodded. "Ready."
~*~
"Why do they make these stupid movies so sad?" Adam sniffled, using his sweater sleeve to rub at his face. His eyes were puffy and red, with his cheeks equally so underneath the tear tracks. He cuddled closer to Michael, rubbing some of his tears off on his shirt he was wearing in the process.
Michael smiled, letting Adam pull his grip tighter around him from where he occupied the space by his side.
The credits rolled down the screen in front of them with pictures and colours as the jollity music continued from the animated movie that had just finished.
"I liked it!" Jack piped up from where he was, sitting on the floor between the two of them. He shifted to his knees to turn around and face them with a wide grin.
"At least someone came out of this happy." Adam wiped at his nose again.
Michael looked at him, then to Jack, both of them sharing an amused look before Jack raised his hand to cover a yawn.
"Tired?" He questioned, even though he knew the truth.
Jack shook his head, his bangs shaking with the movement. "Nuh-uh."
"Sure," Adam responded, just as convinced as Michael. "I think you should be heading off to bed soon anyways, Jack. What time is it?" Adam pushed himself up, fumbling for his phone as he clicked it on, checking the time.
"Early?" Jack questioned, more so hope for what it was.
Adam's eyes widened at the time displayed on his screen. "More like way past your bedtime, come on." He gestured towards the exit. "Before your parents kill me."
"But—"
"Nope, Kelly will kill me. And frankly, I'm more scared of her than all the others put together."
Michael couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. "Even Lucifer?" He questioned
"Oh, way more terrifying," he stated.
"Can we watch another movie?" Jack asked, grabbing their attention back, puppy eyes and all that he for sure had learned from Sam or even one of his many uncles or aunts.
"Jack—"
"Please," he begged.
Adam sighed. "We'll watch another one tomorrow, promise."
"But tomorrow's Wednesday."
"And?" Michael questioned.
"Tuesdays are movie nights," he reminded them.
Michael inwardly rolled his eyes at the Winchester's rules instilled in him. "Well, this isn't a normal movie night with everyone missing is it?"
Jack furrowed his eyes in thought before coming to his conclusion. "I guess not."
Adam looked over at Michael with a relieved expression, saving them from any back-and-forth banter, before turning his attention back to Jack. "Tomorrow will be make-up for today, yeah? We'll make sure everyone is here, even the ones who usually don't come to movie night."
Jack hesitated before speaking. "Promise?" He asked.
Adam smiled. "Promise." He reached forward and ruffled his hair. "Now, go get some sleep. Jodie and Donna texted a while ago and said they were on their way back, so they'll go tuck you in tonight, okay?"
He nodded. "Okay." He stood up and started to make his way out of the room but stopped.
Michael and Adam exchanged a look before Jack took a sharp turn around and barreled into the both of them, his arms wrapped around them in a tight embrace.
Both allowed the few seconds of shock to wash away before responding to his hug. Adam made the first move, wrapping his arms around him in a hug just as tight as Jack was giving them. But Michael took longer before putting his arms around him. It was gentle, not a grip like what Adam and Jack had on each other but a light touch, something still there in comfort.
"I had fun," Jack mumbled, his voice muffled from where he had his face tucked in.
Adam pulled him in tighter. "Us too, Jack." He loosened his hold just as Jack pulled back with a content expression underlined with denied exhaustion. If not seen, the yawn that broke through once again was the final telltale sign.
He raised his hand with a small wave and nod of his head. "Good night."
Adam chuckled at his ever-present mannerisms. "Night, Jack."
Michael smiled. "Good night, kid."
They watched as he left the room towards the rooms.
"Don't forget to brush your teeth!" Michael called. He'd rather not face the wrath of Kelly just as much as Adam would.
"I won't!" Jack called back, his steps evidence as they heard a harsh stop and quick steps in him doing so.
He looked back only to be met with Adam staring at him—which wasn't completely out of the normal of what occurred on a daily basis—but differently than what was their usual. He tried to look away, thinking Adam would do the same, before looking back but still found the same smile and glee-filled eyes looking at him. "What?"
Adam shook his head. "Nothing. Just cute is all." He pushed himself up from the couch and started to stretch.
"What's cute?"
"When you get all parental." Adam waved his hand towards him.
"I don't get parental," he argued.
"Oh, you do, more than you probably think too." Adam raised his hands, locking them together over his head as he pulled his body up. His shirt followed with the motion, his midriff on display for a few seconds.
Something that didn't take a lot for Michael to not miss. He cleared his throat. "And you think it's… cute?" He inquired.
Adam let his arms fall back to his sides. "Adorable," he proclaimed. He bent down kissing Michael's cheek and grabbing his phone from the couch all in one swift motion. "I think I'm gonna follow Jack's lead and head to bed myself."
"This early?"
"Some of us need to sleep, and by us I mean me." He dusted his shirt and jeans for any popcorn crumbs before moving to the couch.
Michael quickly stopped him. "I'll clean up here."
"Oh, I could help," Adam offered.
He shook his head. "I got it, you can go to bed."
Adam furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback as he brushed off the wave of shock. "Oh…okay." He shifted in place, rubbing a hand behind his neck before he started. "I'll, uh… see you in the morning then?"
He hesitated wanting to say anything but what came out. "Y—yeah." He nodded, hardly believing what he said himself.
Adam took a deep sharp inhale but quickly covered it as a fake yawn. "Okay, I'll just… go." He put on a quick faint smile before hurrying out of the room.
Michael watched Adam leave, biting his tongue and not letting himself yell out anything he didn't know wether he would come to regret. Though all of it came crashing down as the emptiness of the room and the ghost of the conversation dawned on him. He slouched forward, letting his head fall into his hands, combing them over and through his hair before finally resting a hand over his mouth.
He messed up…
"Gee, and I thought Cassie was bad. Sexual tension who? This brings a whole new level to all that romantic yearning."
He dropped his hand and let his head hang, groaning at the familiar tone of voice he was not in the mood to deal with. "Gabriel," he growled. Third time's the charm it was then…
"That's my name, don't wear it out." Gabriel jumped over the couch and popped down onto it next to him, grabbing the bowl of popcorn into his lap as he propped his legs up on the coffee table.
Michael sighed. "Is there a reason you're here… bothering me?"
"Can't an angel just come to spend time with his big bro without any substantial gain?" He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth with a loud 'crunch' following.
Michael cocked an eyebrow. "And what is this substantial gain your not benefitting from?"
He swallowed his mouth full of popcorn, a sly grin quickly forming. "You love him."
"Going to have to give context there." He pushed himself up, stretching his sore muscles from sitting in one place before he reached for the remote on the coffee table.
"You know who I'm talking about."
"I'm not sure I can confidently say I do." He snatched the bowl of popcorn from Gabriel's lap and pushed his feet down from the table as he walked by.
Gabriel pouted. "Y'know, you missed out on the joke about how all the Winchesters got an angel."
He hit the power button on the remote, switching the screen off. "Adam doesn't—" he inwardly cursed himself as he knew his mistake and what was coming next.
"Huh? Doesn't what?" Gabriel put his pinky in his ear and then took it out. "I don't think I heard you right." He got up, making his way in front of Michael with his hand mockingly cupped around his ear. "Prefer the Winchester name? Right? Because only you know that, huh, Mikey? Among other things only you know."
"You know, you and your brothers have been getting on my nerves with all this 'you know' crap, which in fact, I do not know; so if someone could do me the pleasure of clueing me in on all this, it'd be much appreciated!" The slam of a remote he had in hand on the coffee table ended his rant; the air of silence being the only thing to linger in his frustration.
"Wait… which brothers?" Gabriel genuinely asked. "Luce and Raph? What were they doing? Or was it Balthazar? It was Bal wasn't it?"
He bit his tongue and held in every curse word in every possible language. "Forget it." He turned only to be met with Gabriel right in front of him again.
"Well, now I'm curious," Gabriel smirked.
"I said, forget it, Gabriel," he scolded, putting on his best 'don't ask again' voice.
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "So dramatic all the time." He reached into the bowl still in Michael's hand and grabbed a few kernels.
He managed another look his way before Gabriel threw on an innocent facade. His hands locked behind his back as he rocked on the balls of his heels and slightly twisted his body, all with a smile on his face.
"That's not working on me," he stated.
"What?" Gabriel questioned, pretending he wasn't guilty.
He furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh, You know, 'what'."
And despite his warning, he continued with his wide-eyed puppy dog look—which he quickly became aware of who purposely taught Jack that…
"No, Gabriel," he stressed.
Gabriel's feigned innocent expression quickly collapsed into a neutral one as he shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, worth a shot."
He eyed him down with an exasperated look. "Really?"
"What? I'm desperate here, Mikey."
Michael sighed, giving in, but not that he would care to admit. "Say I do… know. What then?"
Gabriel's eyes widened. "So you do love him!?"
He knew it was a mistake. "I didn't—"
"Oh, come on! It's a simple question."
"The moment you say love is simple, I'll answer you." He turned towards the door in his second attempt at leaving.
"Michael!" Gabriel put himself in the doorway, blocking him from leaving the room… again. "What's so hard about it? You care about him don't you?"
"That's not the same thing," he defended.
"Yeah? When did love and caring about someone become so foreign to each other?"
He opened his mouth to say something and argue against what Gabriel said but came up empty-handed. He knew he was right in so many ways, but everything of him denied that. He tried to ignore the ache in his chest but couldn't ignore how like a fire, it grew worse by the second. He turned around and set the bowl down on the table before sitting back down on the couch.
Gabriel moved to stand in front of him and leaned against the coffee table. "You say you love us." He muttered under his breath.
He let out a weak chuckle. "I'm not entirely sure about that right now either," he grumbled.
Gabriel put his hand over his heart in faux offense. "I'm hurt, brother."
Michael shook his head. "You're my little siblings. It's different. I raised you all."
"Doesn't mean you exactly have to love us." He looked off to the side, his expression falling ever so slightly.
And there it was… that look that Michael remembered so well breaking all three older archangels' hearts. The look Gabriel used at times to his advantage and other times didn't even know how much it did. He really wasn't ready to bare all his emotions at once in one sitting. "Well, Unfortunately, I do. What I have with Adam is just… hard to explain."
Gabriel looked up at him. "Because It's not just love… huh?"
If not anything, he knew Gabriel was very persistent, narrowly sneaking what he wanted back into their conversation while Michael did the same, dodging everything all too well.
"Look, Gabriel. These things are difficult—"
"That's the thing, Michael. They really aren't," Gabriel let his words fall heavy, his expression staying serious.
Michael dropped his head. "I was only supposed to have one vessel, and that's how things were supposed to be," he tried to explain. "Adam was a… a last resort." Everything felt wrong in what he said even though he knew it had been the truth once upon a time.
Gabriel followed his lead, looking down at his shoes. "We both know things didn't end up exactly how they were supposed to be."
Both of them were walking evidence of that. Gabriel never blew his horn, there was no apocalypse, and there was no grand battle at the end of it all. Michael found his hands clean of his siblings' blood, and for once, he walked off the board. Their father remained defeated, locked away, while Amara came free, helping them rebuild heaven.
They both did things they never thought they would, and they both got close to people they were never supposed to.
"I know," he replied.
Gabriel reached over, grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl again and threw it into his mouth with another loud crunch. "Know what your problem is?" His words came out muffled as he spoke with his mouth full.
Michael looked up at him, eyebrows raised. "Excuse me?"
Gabriel rolled his eyes at the tone of voice Michael had taken up and swallowed his mouthful of popcorn. "You're still worried about what dad would think of all of this—you thinking for yourself, betraying him… Adam?" He threw a few more kernels in his mouth.
He bit his tongue. "Spare me this conversation, brother." He moved from the couch and once again made his way towards the exit.
"And that too," Gabriel called after, "you just walk away."
He stopped and quickly turned around. "Oh, that's gold coming from you, Gabriel," he sneered.
Gabriel pushed himself away from the table and closer to Michael. "At least I don't block people out, Michael. Because we both know that's what you're doing here."
Michael gritted his teeth and took a deep breath before continuing. "Gabe, I'm really not in the mood to get in an argument with you." He softened his tone from what it had risen to.
"The only person you're going to be hurting is your boyfriend if you don't stop being so emotionally constipated!"
"One: he's not my boyfriend," he pointed out.
Gabriel snorted in response.
"Two," he continued with a loud sigh, "you are being worse than Lucifer and that's saying something, and three: I'm not… whatever you just said."
"Emotionally constipated?" Gabriel questioned. "You kinda are, Mikey. You're being worse than the Winchesters and Raphael and that's saying something."
"I'm leaving," he stated, turning on his heel while hoping he would actually be able to walk away from the conversation.
"Adam?" Gabriel taunted.
He stopped in his steps. "Not him."
He heard Gabriel scoff out a laugh. "Oh yeah? Because right now, he's in his room, probably still awake, tossing and turning in bed because he has the exact same feelings as you do for him, but his idiot of a choice for a boyfriend is my idiot big brother, and that thing you pulled earlier about not going to bed with him is probably going to haunt you if you don't get your butt over there and fix it."
Michael spun around. "You were spying on us?"
"That's not important!" Gabriel exclaimed. "You love him and he loves you, what's so complicated about that?"
"I told you it's…"
He heard the familiar creak of the bunker door opening.
"You don't have to jump to the whole no pants dance immediately—"
"Gabriel," he warned.
"I'm just saying!" Gabriel raised his hands up in mock surrender. "Seriously, Mikey. It's almost painful watching you two dance with each other without even knowing if the other even likes to dance when—hello, You both obviously do."
Michael cocked an eyebrow, his confusion lying in wait of what looked to be some triumph that Gabriel displayed. He licked the tip of his thumb, raising it to Gabriel's face as he gently brushed away popcorn crumbs from the corner of his mouth. "That was a terrible analogy."
"Mikey!" He whined, pushing his hand away. "Stop diverting the topic!"
"I'm not diverting the topic," he denied.
Gabriel crossed his arms and stood his ground with a glare directed at him.
Michael inwardly groaned. "Fine! I'm diverting the topic. But—"
"No but's, look, I'll work on my analogies and you work on telling the kid how much you love him. Deal?"
"Gabriel…" he sighed.
"Hello?" A voice called out from farther in the bunker.
"Whaddya say, Mikey?" Gabriel urged.
He could hear the footsteps pounding against the flooring and metal of stairs just the same as his heart did. A cruel mimicry that he knew the reason for despite its—his absence. "I—I don't know."
Gabriel chuckled, sporting his usual grin. "Trust me, you do." As quick as Gabriel had appeared, he was gone just as quickly with a flourish of his wings.
Michael let his head fall back as he took a deep breath.
"Oh, Michael?"
He spun around to come face to face with Jodie and Donna, both of them looking around with confused expressions.
"Hm… thought I heard somebody else?" Jodie said.
"No." He shook his head. "Nobody else, just me."
They both looked at each other again with eyebrows furrowed, Donna shrugging in response to Jodie's look.
"Uh, Is Jack in bed?" Jodie asked.
"He is. Adam, told him you both were on your way."
They both looked around once more, expecting the new topic of their sentence to come around the corner or appear somewhere close by.
"And Adam?" Donna questioned.
"In bed."
"And you're here… talking to us?" She continued.
Jodie quickly reacted, elbowing her in the side.
"What? We're both thinking it." She tried to defend her questioning.
"Actually, I was—am… I am… about to go," he sputtered out, sheepishly pointing towards the direction of the rooms.
"Oh," Donna said. Then a smile slowly grew on her face as her eyes widened too. "Oh," she repeated, more emphasis than before. "I see." A wide smile on display as she stepped forward and playfully punched his arm.
He furrowed his eyebrows, looking from his arm to Donna. He opened his mouth to question it but Jodie quickly jumped in before he could do anything of the sort.
"Well, we're going to go say goodnight to Jack now." She quickly got out, grabbing Donna's arm just as quickly and pulling her away despite her protest. "Have a good night, Michael!"
They were both gone before he could do anything else, leaving him in the emptiness of the room. He was alone in a way that he hadn't been in over a thousand years. Something he knew Adam could say the same too.
Guilt overrode everything once again as he fought with unnamed feelings. There was no way out of it.
For once, he bothered with the stairs of the bunker, his steps alternating between too fast and heavy with hesitance. The cold railing underneath his hand, his steps echoing behind him in the absence of what would usually be the sound of his wings as he made his way towards the corridors lined with bedrooms. The way to Adam's was already like the back of his hand as he was guided by muscle memory.
He followed the numbers, waiting till he stumbled upon the right door, the room Adam had claimed as his. He raised his hand to knock but stopped, second-guessing his actions, he lowered his hand.
He shifted in place, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the door. He was nervous. The mere thought of Adam was making him nervous, when before, he was nothing of the sort; the exact opposite, the single strand of kindness and sanity when the confines of the cage became too much. He became a form of home—of comfort when everything that he knew about the two was broken and revealed for its cruelty.
Skipping the knocking, he took an unnecessary deep breath, reached for the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open. Light broke in through the darkness of the room, shining on the foot of the bed before steadily climbing up until he saw the reason for everything that he was doing.
The blankets shifted, Adam quickly pushed himself to attention, raising a hand in front of his half-squinted eyes as he propped himself up with his elbow on the pillow cuddled in his embrace. "Michael?" He pushed himself to a sitting position, the bed sheets falling off his form while he reached over, switching on the lamp by his bedside.
He couldn't bring himself to say anything as Adam situated himself.
The light illuminated his tired features and rucked up tufts of hair from tossing and turning. Adam rubbed the sleep from his eyes as though Michael was a mere dream or hallucination, blinking a few times almost comically afterwards.
"You came." His voice sounded like a sigh of relief. No questioning or an accusation in his tone but one that allowed him to rid his body of its rigid on edge feeling.
"And you're still awake." Michael voiced his observance, knowing full well he was never going to tell Gabriel he was right.
Adam fiddled with the sheets in his lap "Couldn't sleep," he admitted. "It's hard to sleep without… you know."
He chuckled at the words that seemed to haunt him. "For once, I think I do." He walked further into the room, shutting the door behind him with a gentle click, the small lamp becoming the only source of light in the room. "May I?" He gestured to the bed.
Adam shifted his legs over, making space on the bed for him to take a seat. Michael took the space, gently sitting as Adam followed his every move.
"I thought you weren't coming," Adam spoke first.
"I didn't think I was either," he confessed. "But I—I just…" he swallowed as the rest of his words failed to come out. "I'm sorry about…" he shut his mouth, pressing his lips into a line. He knew no matter how hard he tried, or how many words he played with, he wouldn't be able to say what everyone wanted him to say—what he wanted to say.
Adam tilted his head, his expression softening ever so slightly before he patted the spot on the bed beside him. "Come here." He pulled back the covers.
Michael froze, his decision was the missing step to carry the conversation forward and yet he couldn't imagine himself taking the leap. A part of him wished that Adam wouldn't wait forever for him, but he knew he would.
He did what every part of him wanted to do but fought against. He slipped his feet out of his shoes before moving and sitting right next to him. The covers were thrown over his waist as Adam situated them both, even reaching around him to hit the light before he paused.
Adam moved back, cautiously reaching up and cupping Michael's right cheek in his hand while pressing a kiss to his other cheek. He let it linger before slowly pulling back, inclining his head so his forehead rested against Michael's head. "Stay?" He questioned. It was a whisper, his breath hitting the skin he had left a kiss, some traces from his ear that were only loud enough for Michael and only him to hear.
The word that wavered on a beg, as the choice of the unfair outcome was still a possibility. An outcome Michael could never fathom.
"Of course."
Adam raised his hands, cupping Michael's face as he leaned in; another kiss softer and longer than the one before was pressed closer to his mouth, a smile evident to the both of them.
Michael leaned into every touch and every movement making his warmth feel deeper then softer all at once. But Adam pulled away, his hands leaving along with his every touch, all of it making Michael hate how something in him remained empty without that touch.
He was quick to look up for Adam, the twinge of panic settling in all like an instant. But Adam responded just as quick; A smile, his comfort for Michael, a wordless 'Everything's okay' as he knew it wasn't long lasted.
His hand was on his shoulder as he reached behind him and finally switched off the light. The touch followed down his back as he shifted down and under the blankets, quickly turning into a soft tug as he pulled Michael down with him when he didn't get the cue to follow him. He pressed their forehead together, brushing his hand over Michael's cheek before he slipped their fingers between one another. What would be emptiness was quickly replaced by the familiarity of one another that they both longed after in the absence of each other.
"I miss you," he whispered.
And Michael knew exactly what he meant. Missing each other despite them laying as close as they could to one another when their days revolved around each other that they weren't without each other for long. But even then…
"Me too," he admitted.
Adam moved closer, tucking his head under Michael's chin and wrapping his arms around him where he deemed comfortable.
Michael followed his movements like clockwork, he wrapped his arms around him and let Adam intertwine their legs how he wanted them. Every part of them was as close as they could be.
"Good night, Michael."
He knew he would wake up and Adam would be right there, but a part of him worried about the possibility that he wouldn't be there. Something that he never had to worry about before when they were so impossibly together that their being apart was the unfathomable.
He waited till Adam's eyes drifted shut, the calming rise and fall of his chest as he fell into sleep's grasp.
"Good night…."