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Claire, Kaia, and Jack walked down the dead street back towards the hotel. They had dipped out once the “older” crew had all gone to bed for dinner and a late movie.
“I love you… and I love you… and I love you, too.” Claire mocked Dean’s rambles from the night before, slurring her words and stumbling around the sidewalk the way he had in his drunken state.
Suddenly an undercover cop a few cars away from them turned their lights on, started the engine and slowly drove towards the trio. The car stopped next to them and the window rolled down revealing perhaps the most stereotypical cop they had ever seen, complete with a pink frosted donut in hand.
“Evening kids, how’s it going?” The cop said.
“Hello, officer.” Jack replied with a smile and his friendly wave. “We’re just heading back to our hotel.”
The cop nodded, but cut his eyes from Jack to Claire. “Where have y’all been? Your friend here seems a little spent.”
“Uh–” Kaia looked at Claire who was still mimicking Dean’s drunken behavior and swatted her arm. “She’s not drunk, sir. Right, Claire?”
“So what if I am?” Claire said loudly. “It’s not like I’m driving.”
“Because it’s illegal to even walk drunk, babe.” Kaia hissed. “So stop messing around and tell him you’re joking.”
Claire instantly straightened her stance, and fixed her hair. “Oh – yeah, sorry man. I’m fine. I was mocking my – uh… dad.”
“Yeah, he was pretty sloshed last night.” Kaia added.
“Sloshed?” Jack asked, confused.
“It means drunk.”
“Oh. Yes he was super sloshed.” Jack said. “Incredibly sloshed. But… not Claire. She was just pretending to be sloshed. Unlike our dad.” Claire and Kaia both facepalmed themselves, wishing Jack would stop talking.
The officer stared at the three of them, then put his car into park and got out. “Well then… Claire. If you’re not sloshed you won’t mind doing a few sobriety tests, would you?”
“What the fu–” Claire began, but was promptly jabbed in the side by Kaia’s elbow. “ Fine .”
“Alright.” He said, after eating the last bite of his donut and messily wiping the crumbs on his shirt. “First things first, could you please recite the alphabet–”
“Easy!” Claire smirked.
“Backwards.” The cop finished. He pulled a small note pad out from his pocket and dabbed the tip of the pen on his tongue.
“Uh – Well – Alright… Z… Y… W – I mean X, W…” Claire silently tried to go through the alphabet forward in her head.
“Yeah, so that’s a big no.” The cop said, scribbling something on the pad. “How about you tell me the full sequence of the equation pi.”
“What!?” Claire gasped. “That’s insane…”
“I’m waiting, Claire.” The cop said coyly.
“Three point one four… uh – one five nine two six – uh… five… five…”
“Nope. The correct answer is three point one four five nine two six five three five eight nine… seven… and so on. Anyway–” The cop scribbled more onto the pad, and looked back at Claire. “Ok last test. I need you to walk this line.” He pulled out a piece of chalk and drew a long zig zagging line on the ground. “There… whenever you’re ready.” Claire wanted to laugh, because this man clearly was the only one intoxicated, but walked to the end of the line anyway. She lifted her foot when he stopped her with, “Um, close your eyes first, obviously.”
“Are you kidding me?” Claire said. “What kind of sobriety test is this? It’s all impossible.”
“Well, if you can’t do it, I’m afraid I’ll have to take you into the station for a breathalyzer.”
“Then I guess you’ll just have to.”
“Claire.” Kaia sighed.
“What? Officer douche here needs better proof.”
Kaia groaned at the inconvenience, and stupidity, of it all, but asked to ride with them. The two girls climbed into the cop car and Jack was already in the seat. “Jack? What are you doing?” Claire asked.
“I don’t want to go back to the hotel alone. And I definitely don’t want to be the one to explain this .”
“Whatever. I’ll go give him his breathalyzer and we can catch a cab back.”
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
“.295” The cop said, with a smug grin.
“What?!” Kaia gasped.
“What?” Claire and Jack both repeated, much more calmly. “It’s barely a quarter of a point.”
“Claire…” Kaia sighed. “That’s almost three times the legal limit.”
“Oh… What?!” Claire gasped.
“Ma’am public intoxication is a crime.” The cop said, sitting on the corner of his desk and grabbing a handful of candy corn from a little jar on top of it. He began popping pieces into his mouth while he called out into the building for someone to prepare an empty cell.
“But I’m sober! ” Claire argued.
“This is insane.” Kaia joined in.
“Yeah… that’s what they all say.” The man said, grabbing Claire’s arm and leading her towards the holding cells.
Kaia told Jack to stay put and chased after them. “Hey, you can’t do this!” She said frantically pulling the cops arm in an attempt to stop him.
“Actually, I can.” He said, before grabbing her and putting her in the cell with Claire.
“Hey!” Both girls yelled as the cop finished off his handful of candy and locked the door. “Wait, don't we get a phone call or something!?” Claire added.
“See you girls in the morning.” He chuckled, ignoring the question, then he turned and disappeared down the hall.
Claire hit the bars with a frustrated cry, before going to sit on the single bed in the cell. “Well this sucks.” Jack said, appearing beside her. She screeched and jolted away from him. “Oh… Sorry.”
“Dammit Jack!” She said, swatting his arm. “Wait… can’t you–”
“I can’t use my power to get you out of here, Claire.”
“Yeah, yeah, Mr. Divine. But can you get our phones from the front desk, so we can call Dean or Sam?” Jack nodded and disappeared, coming back with Claire and Kaia’s phones. Claire turned hers on and sure enough… “No signal. Dammit!”
“Now what do we do?” Jack asked.
“Looks like we’re spending the night in jail.” Claire sighed, falling back onto the stiff mattress.