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There were many things Bad expected to happen when he moved out. Things that anyone would expect, really. Things like finally being independent or not relying on your parents. Having to earn your own money, getting your own food, cooking, doing the laundry and so on. There were also many things Bad hadn’t expected to happen when he moved out. Things that ended up happening regardless of how much Bad huffed and puffed about it.
As soon as he turned 23 and had saved up enough money, Bad went looking for a new home. A nice, small house somewhere far, far away from any big city, where it would quiet and peaceful. Not too many people around. Not too many loud noises. Just him and nature. He spent months and months searching for the perfect place. For the dream house where he could grow old and be happy. Maybe, he thought, it was just a dumb fairytale. An idealistic fantasy that could never come true. But then it happened. Just like that. Bad found the perfect place. A small, slightly decrepit looking house on the outskirt of a tiny, quaint town. Not too much of a looker really. Quite ugly in fact. But the windows were big, the backyard overgrown and spacious with the grass reaching up to his knees and old trees casting long shadows in the evening sun.
Sure, maybe the house needed a new coat of paint, maybe some of the flooring needed to be replaced and yes, maybe the forest next to his property might have been a tiny bit scary at night but Bad fell in love. He fell in love with the sound of crickets at night, the smell of forest wafting through his open windows and the quiet rustling of leaves in the wind. When he stood in the empty, creaky hallway he fell in love with the image of himself in this house. The future him. Growing old. Being happy. He felt that maybe, just maybe, this was a place he could stay in forever. So Bad bought it. Gathered all his saved-up money together, borrowed from his family, took out a loan and he bought it. Bought a house. Him. Bad. He did it.
Living on his own wasn’t hard. It took some time getting used to being the only human in a wide radius but it was fine. Bad had his life together. What was hard though was renovating. Turns out Bad wasn’t quite the handyman he thought he was. Not that anyone else expected him to be. Not that he ever wanted to be one. But he didn’t have much choice. That was alright though. Adapt and overcome, he could do it. Bad had this ‘adulthood’ thing down.
Weeks passed, and so did months. The season slowly started to change and fresh spring wind turned into blistering heat waves. And Bad still was a frequent guest at the home depot two towns away. No, he hadn’t been lazy, he hadn’t, but work had been difficult and after hours spend in front of the computer, he wanted to… well, he wanted to spend another few hours stuck in front of it but this time spending his time the way he wanted to. He definitely did not want to go out and fix the creaking staircase, or paint the kitchen, or fix the fence. But it was summer now, which meant there would be autumn soon. Which meant there would be winter after that. And winter he wanted to spend in a nice, warm house.
So Bad made a decision. He put the alarm on and instead of spending his weekend in bed like he wanted to, in the morning Bad rolled out of bed early and without even having had anything for breakfast he drove off to the home depot. Which was, where after more than an hour of gathering items, he found himself stuck in the paint isle.
He definitely hadn’t expected any difficulty when finding white paint but there was a surprising selection. White night, ultra white, white sugar. What did that even mean? He just wanted white paint. Why was that so hard?
“Dude, tell me you’re not actually looking for white paint.” A voice next to him rang out. The voice Bad thought, sounded very annoying. And it turned even more annoying as it continued on.
“White is for like super old-fashioned people. You know, white picket fence and stuff. Or these super minimalistic ugly rooms. It’s kinda weird dude.”
Bad turned around.
“And what if I want a white picket fence? Maybe I’m just a white picket fence kinda person?”
“Listen, I’ll make you a deal.” The guy said, “You let me choose the color and I’ll paint your fence. For free.”
Bad sputtered.
“Why wou-“
“Dude. It’s for free! Come on.”
And so Skeppy moved in.
No, wait. It didn’t happen just like that. The first thing that happened was that Bad ended up with a very weirdly colored turquoise fence, that reminded him of the color of Minecraft diamond blocks. Then he had ended up with Skeppy sitting in his kitchen, eating his food, from his plates. But it would have been impolite to not make him food, right? He was a guest after all. If a guest was someone who just turned up uninvited that is. But he had painted that fence and just because Bad didn’t exactly like the color, he really would have preferred white, he couldn’t deny that it had been a lot of work. And let it be said: Uninvited or not, fence or not, no one should dare to say that Bad was impolite.
So, after a few months of house renovation later Skeppy moved in.
Bad found that having someone at home was quite nice. The rumbling of plates in the early morning, the hugs, the late-night conversations, even the never-ending screeching whenever Bad did something that Skeppy didn’t agree with. Which happened a lot. But yes, even then, having someone was nice. But he didn’t need more than Skeppy. He didn’t want more than Skeppy. So, when Skeppy rushed into the kitchen one morning with a little bundle clutched to his chest, Bad had quite optimistically thought nothing of it. Until Skeppy opened his mouth.
“Oh my god, Bad! You won’t believe what I just found!”
Bad swallowed his coffee.
“Like, I was down by the lake and guess what, Bad!”
“What did you find?” Bad asked.
“Look, a baby.” Skeppy said and placed a small, tiny, feathery yellow thing on Bad’s table.
Quackity was small and scared, abandoned by his mother mere days after hatching. He was lucky to be found by Skeppy when he did his daily morning jog, otherwise he probably wouldn’t have lived much longer. He was hungry and frightened, making tiny little squeaks. And Bad panicked. Just a little. Why would Skeppy bring in a wild animal? What if it atta-. Well, it didn’t much matter if it attacked or not. But what if it had diseases that could spread to humans?
“Come on, Bad please?” Skeppy begged. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? We take him to the vet and that’s it.”
“What do you mean ‘what’s the worst thing?’ Skeppy. Think. Do you know anything about ducks? Because I sure don’t!”
Skeppy didn’t either as it turned out. But he did know how to pout.
So Bad had spent his day stressed out, googling tips on ‘How to take care of baby ducklings’. Not because of Skeppy’s pout of course. Bad was just a human, what was he supposed to do? They couldn’t just leave a baby outside.
For the next few weeks, Quackity ended up in a little box next to their bed. He would screech and cluck when he was hungry. Or when he wanted to be taken outside. Or when he just wanted Bad and Skeppy to not sleep. But that was alright, Bad thought tiredly. He was just a baby after all. A baby that grew up surprisingly quickly. Bad and Skeppy were prepared though. They had already started building a little pond in their backyard. Maybe Quackity wouldn’t stay as an adult, Bad had thought. Maybe he would one day just fly away. Find a nice female duck, or a male one, Bad didn’t want to discriminate, to spend his life with. Live in freedom. But Quackity never seemed to feel any inclination to leave his comfortable and effortless existence behind. It wasn’t exactly surprising, Bad thought as he watched Skeppy coo at Quackity. After all, where else would a little duck find such devoted, faithful servants?
The second animal to enter their lives was a rabbit. Not just any rabbit. A wild field rabbit. Or previously wild rabbit anyway. Turns out having to have one leg amputated wasn’t helpful for living in the wild. Bad and Skeppy didn’t mind that. They already had one animal in the house, or rather backyard now that Quackity was all grown up. Why shouldn’t they take in a second one? After all, all animals deserved a nice, safe environment. So, they took him back home from the vets, who had very desperately been trying to find a new home for him, and feisty not-so-little Karl got a new home, a big outdoor hutch and soft hay to roll around in.
Nowt, neither Bad nor Skeppy had ever had a rabbit. Or any experience with rabbits. Or wild animals in general excluding Quackity. It shouldn’t have come as such a surprise that Karl escaped. Escape was such an odd word Bad said to Skeppy later that day. Technically he didn’t escape. He just jumped over the little fence they made for his outdoor hutch. Leg or no leg, Karl wasn’t having any of the sheltered life. It could have gotten much worse, Bad mused. Apparently, Karl liked his new home well enough to hop around all day in the backyard and return to his little house eager to be locked up for the night, safe from all the predators looking for a free midnight snack.
No, it was all good with Karl. However, there was one thing Bad was scared of very much. Quackity.
At first Quackity had been angry. Very angry in fact. His peaceful, coddled life with his devoted humans had suddenly, drastically changed. There was a big brown thing hopping around in his backyard. Not only was it hopping around, it had started eating all of Quackity’s food. Understandably, Quackity was very unamused and decided to drive this intruder of his yard. With a loud quack he had waddled closer, wings flapping menacingly. The brown thing hadn’t even looked at him. Quackity was a beautiful, strong duck, no creature should dare to ignore him he decided. So Quackity had nipped the intruder in the butt. It had made a weird squeaky sound and bounced away. Quackity had been very proud of himself. Looking for praise he looked up to his human but Bad wasn’t happy. He had gotten quite the scolding and waddled away for a little swim in his pond to sulk in peace.
It took a few days for Quackity to realize that even though Karl was eating his food, there was more food than before. Enough food for the two of them. That had calmed him down a little and he had started to enjoy his meals in the company of a hopping brown furball, who apparently had zero regard for personal space. It had taken him even longer than that to realize that said furball was actually quite warm. And soft. Mind you, it didn’t mean that Quackity liked Karl. He didn’t. But if he spent more and more nights cuddled up against warm fur no one had to know.
And so, once again, peace came over the Bad and Skeppy household.
Until a few weeks later, that was.
“Dude, wake up” Skeppy said and shook him by the shoulder.
“What?”
“Bad, I’m serious. Get up. This is important.”
Bad gave an unwilling grunt in response.
“There are dogs here and they need a place to stay or they’re gonna be put on death row.”
“Dogs don’t have death row Skeppy, dogs aren’t criminals.” Bad mumbled into his pillow.
“I’m serious. We need to pick them up. Now.”
On the way to the shelter Bad didn’t even question it. He was already doomed from the start. His dream of an idyllic, quiet country life was shattered the moment he had laid eyes on Skeppy. There was no way that life could ever be nice and peaceful with Skeppy around. But that was ok. And really, how much work could dogs possibly be?
“Do dogs always bark this much?” Skeppy asked. Or, that’s what Bad guessed he asked. It’s not like he could hear him properly over the shrill sound of a very, very enraged brown chihuahua mix.
“I don’t think so. Look, the other one doesn’t bark at all.” Bad pointed out nodding towards the big, shaggy yellow dog. “It’s just the small one.”
“It’s because you’re scaring him, Bad.”
“Oh I’m scaring him? You’re the one who grabbed him and started making those kissy noises. That’s on you, Skeppy!”
And that was how Sapnap and Dream moved in. Sapnap and Dream weren’t siblings. Or at least, Bad and Skeppy didn’t think they could possibly be. They were found together, two stray dogs wandering about, and taken to a shelter. “Codependent dogs like that never get a home.” A worker there told them. “If you don’t take them, they’re going to be put down soon.”
There wasn’t any question after that. They grabbed Sapnap, ignored his growling, cooed at Dream who voluntarily hopped in the car and drove home.
“We don’t have any dog stuff. And I don’t think rabbit food is going to cut it.” Bad said.
“They can have our food and we can buy some tomorrow. Relax. Look how happy they are!”
“Skeppy, Sapnap’s trying to eat your finger!”
The first few days, Bad and Skeppy were very careful to keep the dogs away from Quackity and Karl. Whilst Bad was stressing out about logistics, Skeppy found much entertainment in watching Sapnap and Dream discover their new surroundings. Anytime something potentially dangerous happened, like a door being closed or Bad sneezing, Sapnap would jump in front of Dream, posturing and wailing in defense.
Bad found that he liked Dream quite a lot. He liked his friendliness, the wagging tail and he didn’t mind calming him down whenever he got scared. And slowly but surely, even Sapnap started to calm down and started to accept pats on his back, soft head scratches and belly rubs.
It didn’t take long after that for Bad and Skeppy to slowly introduce the dogs to Karl and Quackity. And really, Bad thought retrospectively, there had been no reason for worry at all. Dream was a big dog but he was also a little scaredy cat, far too shy to even get close to Karl or Quackity at first and Sapnap…well, Sapnap was quite a bit smaller than Karl and despite his loud bark, he stood no chance against an angry Quackity who would flap his wings and puff his feathers.
The last animal to move in was George. George wasn’t a rescue. Neither was he in need of a home. He just turned up one day. Apparently, he belonged to a neighbor who had multiple cats and didn’t much care that one of them decided to find a new place to stay.
Bad could still very clearly remember the first time he showed up in their backyard. It was almost noon and Bad was just finishing up some stuff for work before his lunchbreak when he heard Skeppy screech like a banshee. Unfortunately, as it happened, Skeppy hadn’t been the first one to discover George. No, the first one had been Sapnap. Sapnap, who despite having calmed down significantly, still thought himself much bigger than he actually was and had the misguided notion that he was the only one capable of guarding their property and protecting his pack.
George hadn’t been particularly appreciative of being chased up a tree. A tree where he couldn’t get down. With a sigh Bad had gotten a ladder and climbed up. Skeppy had picked Sapnap up held him back and scolded him. But Sapnap had been very pleased with himself.
It all ended well. Relatively well anyway. George got down, he jumped out of Bad’s arms and swooped in to paw swipe Sapnap who was stunned into silence.
Needless to say. They became the closest friends. In fact, after that unpleasant first visit George came over so much, that Skeppy and Bad felt the need to have a very, very awkward visit to the neighbors, and a few freshly baked muffins later George was theirs. As much as a cat like that could ever be anyone’s. Quite frankly, Bad didn’t think that the muffins were even necessary. After all they said: “Are you sure you want that one? He’s a loud one.” Skeppy and Bad were very quick to assure him.
“Oh well, I guess he’s pretty.” The neighbor said and the matter was settled.
George fit into their little family perfectly. After the initial struggles, him and Sapnap raced across the yard, sometimes play fighting, often real fighting. But Bad always noted how careful George was when jumping on Sapnap or how gentle Sapnap was when he ‘bit’ George’s tail. Quackity and Karl weren’t particularly troubled by the new presence either. Karl was a confident big rabbit, bigger than both George and Sapnap. Even legless as he was, he could defend himself perfectly well against a cat but he never needed to. George was playful with Karl, jumping around him, playing with his ears. And Karl was amusing himself by smacking George in the face with his one foreleg.
The only family member that Bad had been worried about, apart from Sapnap, had been Quackity. Birds were prey for cats. For dogs too technically but dogs had much more of a pack instinct Bad thought. So, it came as a surprise how well Quackity and George got along.
“They warned us, Bad, don’t look like that.” Skeppy had laughed and handed Bad noise-cancelling earplugs.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t know cats could be that loud. I know Quackity is, but he’s a duck, Skeppy. Cats shouldn’t be as loud as a duck. Right?”
Yes, George could be loud. And not in a cute-cat-way where they would sit in front of you and meow at you softly. No, it was in a very obnoxious, very high-pitched way. And he only did it in front of Quackity who promptly raised himself to full height and quacked right back. But it wasn’t fighting. For some reason they liked it. Screeching at each other, yapping, George rolling around in the grass and Quackity waddling after him.
It took Skeppy and Bad weeks to realize that neither Sapnap nor Karl nor Quackity were George’s favourite. Dream was. They didn’t play fight like Sapnap and George did. They didn’t tease each other like Karl and George and they certainly didn’t run around screeching uncontrollably like George did with Quackity. No, their relationship was different than that.
Every lunch Dream would curl up on the porch soaking up the sun and dozing until late afternoon. And now George would join, sometimes lying on top of him in a cat-shaped ball. Sometimes cuddled up next to him. Sometimes a few feet away but always there. When Dream did his regular patrol of the grounds George would follow. He would bump into Dream, rub his head against Dream’s legs and give a content purr.
That didn’t mean that George wouldn’t tease Dream. He did. Once Bad caught him stealing Dream’s food straight out of his bowl gulping down a huge bite. And Dream did nothing. He huffed and wheezed softly but he wagged his tail. When Sapnap had tried to eat out of Dream’s bowl once, Dream had growled. That was the only time Skeppy and Bad had ever heard Dream growl. They had separated Sapnap and Dream for their food after that, but apparently George was more than welcome to take what he wanted off of Dream.
“You know what Skeppy?” Bad asked one afternoon. They were sitting in the backyard. The afternoon summer sun still hanging high in the sky. Quackity was swimming in his pond, slowly paddling around. Karl was munching on some lettuce they gave him earlier that day. Sapnap was curled up on Bad’s lap, snoring softly. Dream and George were sprawled out in the grass next to them.
“What?” Skeppy asked as he scratched Sapnap’s head.
“I’m happy.” Bad said.
“Yeah, me too.” Skeppy smiled.