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Who is Kokichi Ouma?
Some would say he’s a devil’s spawn, some would say he’s a little lying sack of shit, but all of them agree on one thing: he is in love with Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective.
Psyching himself up, Kokichi paced back and forth inside the empty classroom. The window had a clear view of the setting sun. Ouma would have called it picturesque had it not been for the nerves getting to him. You’re the Ultimate Supreme Leader. You can do this. Give it a shot, Kokichi. Go big or go home.
Kokichi kept pacing, but he could only do so much while waiting for Shuichi to come. He needed to steel his nerves and finally come out and say it. Realistically speaking, he’s definitely attracted to Akamatsu. Don’t hope for the best, Kokichi. You know you might get rejected. If you do, just laugh it off. “Ouma-kun?” A voice called out. When did he get here? With the chaos inside the leader’s head, he could not detect the sound of the door opening.
It’s show time.
In a flash, Kokichi’s mask came into place. “Nishishi, if it isn’t my beloved detective!~” He greeted, smiling cheekily at the boy he was about to confess to. “Can I ask why you’re here, Shumai? Hmm?”
”B-beloved!?” Shuichi would have replied if it was in the past. Somehow, Shuichi just got used to the sound of Ouma’s pet names that whenever he hears it, something inside him clenches. He concluded that it was probably his detective side having finally met his match—an unpredictable, clever liar. “Ah, I don’t particularly know. I was hoping you would, Ouma-kun.” He played along. It was always such a thrill to have mind games with the leader.
”Hmm? Oh?” Ouma feigned ignorance, continuing the act. “Now that I think about it, I do remember inviting you out today!” He exclaimed with stars in his eyes. “Now, now, beloved, why do you think I invited you here?” He asked with a wide grin stretching through his whole face. It was unnerving, to say the least. “Inside an empty classroom,” the leader stepped forward, inching closer to the detective, “with locked doors?” His face was still pulled into a haunting smile.
Saihara knows the door wasn’t locked, yet seeing Ouma’s confidence made him doubt it. Instinctively, he inched closer to the door, fiddling with the handle.
”Nishishi! It’s a lie!” Kokichi exclaimed once more. "You should have seen your face!” Stop delaying this, Kokichi. Just like that, the tension was gone, just like Kokichi’s haunting smile.
Shuichi only scoffed at him before straightening his back. “Why’d you call me here, Ouma-kun? I need to go home soon.”
The leader took deep breaths to calm himself. “Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective, I am here to announce that you, my beloved rival, have caught the attention of the magnanimous supreme leader!” Kokichi announced with a haughty tone. He just hoped that his nervousness wasn’t obvious to the detective.
Eh? Is Ouma-kun confessing? “What do you mean, Ouma-kun?” Shuichi asked.
“OH. MON. DIEU! Read between the lines, Shuichi!” Ouma playfully bemoaned.
Come to think of it, Ouma-kun is awfully clingy to me aside from his Iruma-san and Amami-kun. He also does often use nicknames to refer to me. With those alone, I can say that he may like me. You’re inflating your ego, Shuichi. Let him speak. Somehow, a voice in his head pushed him to say his hypothesis. “Do you like me, Ouma-kun?”
Shuichi focused on Kokichi’s body language. Even though it’s nigh impossible to figure out Ouma, his body language might give some clues. The leader cocked his hips, tilted his head, and raised his eyebrows with a glint in his eyes. His body language screamed amusement and confidence. “And if I do?” Kokichi taunted, smirking.
Saihara’s blood pumped. He was getting fired up. Such was the feeling of ecstasy in playing mind games with Ouma. “If you confess, then I might just accept it,” Shuichi replied confidently. He doesn’t know where he’s getting the confidence from, but all that matters to him is the thrill, the chase, and the complexity of Kokichi Ouma.
Seeing the boldness in the detective, Kokichi smirked. He was inwardly glad that the detective was implying he’ll accept. “How bold, Saihara-chan. I haven’t even said anything, yet you’ve made such an absurd statement.” Kokichi looked him up and down before snorting. “Oh, detective, you wish.”
Just like that, Shuichi’s confidence faltered. “Ah, but since you’re so desperate, I guess I can give you the honor of being my boyfriend.” Kokichi drawled on, sounding fed up, once he noticed Shuichi’s anxiety.
Saihara suddenly found himself laughing. It’ll definitely be enjoyable to be boyfriends with Ouma-kun.
Weeks passed, and Ouma’s high school romance was exciting, albeit slightly painful. It was almost perfect. Shuichi was sweet, caring, and kind, yet nothing changed. Shuichi still treated him like a puzzle while he gushed over Akamatsu’s concert. It was fine, and they were friends; Kokichi had no right to stop him from being friends with Akamatsu. He already guessed that Shuichi only accepted his confession to continue their usual cat-and-mouse game.
The problem lies with the media. Being a student of Hope’s Peak means that the nation’s eyes will be all over you. What a juicy scandal to have the boy detective hug the Ultimate Pianist after a concert. The tabloids, the web, and practically everyone shipped the two. After all, Shuichi’s admiration for the pianist wasn’t subtle.
Kokichi was fine; he really was. He ignored the concerned looks that Miu and Rantaro threw him. He was fine. If Shuichi wouldn’t announce their relationship, that’s fine too. Kokichi just grabbed his hand and continued acting as usual. If Shuichi wouldn’t do anything about the dating rumors, he’ll happily ignore them too.
Kokichi’s okay; he kept smiling, laughing, and teasing his beloved detective. He’s not fine. He’s bitter. He’s jealous. It’s ugly. It’s vile. He’s happy because Shuichi finally started grabbing his hand without Kokichi doing it first. It was sweet. With this, he can delude himself into thinking that the feelings are really mutual.
Hanging out with Kokichi was a blast. He got to know the leader’s little quirks, like how his right eye slightly twitches whenever flustered and how Kokichi’s eyes glow when they make eye contact. It was endearing. Saihara kept reaching out to hold the boy’s hand to see the twitch and the subtle flush in Ouma’s face.He’s cute. I don’t like him, however. I’m just indulging my curiosity. The thought of someone loving Kokichi and seeing Kokichi’s quirks made his eye twitch.
Shuichi thought that Kokichi would announce to the world their relationship, but surprisingly, the leader kept quiet. The thought of having a secret that that’s just between them made something clench in him.
The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and Shuichi asked him out on a date. Or something similar, at least. Technically, they were hanging out, letting both their friends interact with each other.
Akamatsu got along just fine with Miu and Rantaro despite Iruma’s vulgar words. Momota tried to get along with them, even though he didn’t know why Saihara invited the chaotic trio. Harukawa just glared at Ouma the entire time. Ultimately, they all settled down inside a coffee shop near the campus.
Momoto ended up dragging Harukawa out of the booth due to the intense glaring the girl kept doing. Rantaro suddenly got an international call which he picked up to check if it was one of his missing sisters. At the same time, Miu and Kokichi went to their separate restrooms, which meant that Akamatsu and Saihara were alone at their table.
Surprise, surprise, they got their photos taken! News outlets were making articles about the alleged relationship. Again! Surprise, surprise, Shuichi didn’t do anything about the rumors! How fun! It fucking hurts. I thought he finally returned my feelings. AHAHAHA. How pathetic.
On the very same night, he hopped on a call with Miu and Rantaro and cried his heart out. “Oh my god, you love him, yet he doesn’t love you back. How fitting for you, shota.” Miu teased.
Rantaro clicked his tongue. “Not the time, Miu!” He scolded.
Miu could only flounder around, looking for a reply. “I- I don’t know what to do with this situation, okay!” She defended.
After crying and letting all his frustrations out, hearing his friends comforted him. Even if Shuichi doesn’t like me back, at least I have these two. “Nah, Taro-chan, the whore’s right. It’s fine. We don’t really talk about feelings, do we? Nishishi!~”
Rantaro looked reluctant, but he dropped it. He sighed and passed his hand through his hair. “Listen, Kich. I think you really need to talk to Saihara about this. It’s weird enough that his friends don’t even know you guys are dating, but for him to straight out not say anything about dating rumors or even saying he’s not dating anyone is weird.”
Kokichi hummed, thinking it over. “Yep, yep, you’re right, Taro-nii-chan!~”
Kokichi knew that if they were in the same room, Rantaro would have ruffled his hair. “I’m serious, Kich. I’m worried about you,” and then he faux whispered, “and Miu is too.”
Miu gave an indignant huff. “I heard that, and I’m not worried about the little abortion!”
“Fuck you too, cumrag!” Kokichi yelled before ending the call.
Shuichi wondered why Kokichi called him in the middle of the night, but he picked up before he could overthink. “Hello?” He called out. No response. It was odd having Ouma so silent. “Ouma-kun? Are you there?”
Of course, he doesn’t care about you, Kokichi. He doesn’t even call you by your first name. Why are you even doing this?
Shuichi was just about to tap the end call button when Kokichi finally spoke. “Shumai! Hi!” The boy greeted, but his voice sounded odd; it sounded like he had just finished crying.
”Are you okay, Ouma-kun?” Saihara worriedly asked. “Were you crying?”
“Yes, because I got so jealous.” Kokichi replied.
“EH!? What do you mean?”
”Nishishi! Just kidding!”
Shuichi sighed in relief. “So why did you call, Ouma-kun?”
”Ugh, Shumai! When will you stop calling me by my last name? UWAAAHUHUHU!” The boy sobbed.
Panicking, Shuichi hesitantly called out Kokichi’s name. “K-Kokichi, stop crying!” The silence that followed made Shuichi anxious. “A-ah, if you don’t want me to ca—“
The boy on the other line giggled. “Oh, you’re okay, Saihara-chan, but you could’ve gone with something sweeter, no?”
“Why did you call, Kokichi?” Shuichi tried asking again to divert the boy’s attention.
”Oh, right! That!” The boy giggled again. “Hey, hey! Shuichi! Hey!”
“What?”
”Why do you not tell others about our relationship? Also, also! Why do you not do anything about your dating rumors with Bakamatsu-chan?” Kokichi asked with a childish lilt to his voice.
Because I don’t want to share you. Dating rumors? Shuichi’s blood ran cold. He stiffened. “What dating rumors?”
”You know, the alleged secret relationship between you and Bakamatsu?”
“What are you talking about, Kokichi? Can you send me some links?” Shuichi was panicking, and he didn’t even know why.
A few minutes later, Kokichi sent two links, the after-concert hug and the café “date.” Shuichi took deep breaths to calm himself. “We should just ignore it.” Shuichi knew that the more you deny scandals, the more accurate it seems; after all, his parents were an actor and a screenwriter.
Kokichi hummed. Well, ouch. That hurt, ahaha. “Way ahead of you, beloved! Unfortunately, it seems like my people are rioting at the headquarters. Bye-bye!” He ended the call immediately.
Scandals kept popping up, and Kokichi finally admitted it. He was hurt, jealous, and insecure. Every article romanticizing Shuichi and Akamatsu’s relationship felt like a stab in the heart with a jagged knife.
When he finally broke and told his friends, he wailed. His broken heart was aching so so bad. “How much pain do you have to endure before giving up is okay?” Rantaro gently asked him as he patted Kokichi’s back.
They’re right. It hurts so goddamn much. I can’t keep on going like this. I’m not a martyr. “Pretending to be happy is exhausting,” Kokichi whispered, yet all three heard it. They knew it was time.
What’s the point of trying if it proves I’ll never be good enough?
“It hurts when I realize I’ll never mean that much to him.” His voice was weak, vulnerable, raw. He hated this. He hated him. But it’s a lie, isn’t it?
Shuichi walked towards the classroom, feeling a sense of déjà vu. He opened the door, and just like last time, Kokichi was pacing back and forth. The sight of Kokichi pacing in the same classroom that started their relationship bought a smile to his face.
”Saihara.” Kokichi greeted him. His tone is off. He’s not calling me any nicknames. Are we breaking up? Please no. The leader’s following words made his smile drop fast. “I’m sick of missing you when you’re just right here.”
What? Hearing those words, something inside him cracked. He suddenly felt suffocated.
Kokichi continued his onslaught of words. “You made me think I actually mattered, Shuichi.” The shorter boy said, his voice cracking as he started to weep. But you do matter, Kokichi. I like you. I LIKE YOU!? NO, NO, NO, NO, THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! IT’S A LIE! Yet it feels so right to admit. “You grabbing my hand made me hope that maybe, just maybe, you reciprocated my feelings.”
”T-That’s a lie.” Shuichi managed to get out.
“You’re right, I’m a liar, but can you believe me, just this once?” Kokichi asked. “I wanted to believe you thought about me,” Ouma confessed with tears streaming down his face. I do. I think about you all the time. All your quirks, your likes, your dislikes, your hobbies. Everything. NO, NO, NO, NO, I DON’T! I can’t like him. I just can’t! That’s preposterous! “Look me in the eye, Saihara. Please.” Kokichi asked.
Shuichi was petrified. He couldn’t move, much less make eye contact.
“Could you see me as you see her, just for a moment?” God, how pathetic are you, Kokichi? You’re not her, and you never will be. “Pretend I mean something to you.” Shuichi kept his head down, not saying anything. This hurts.
“Tell me you don’t want me to leave,” Ouma begged with a weak voice. “Say I’m enough, and we can keep going.” He pleaded again. “Please, Shuichi. I know it’s not true, but please say it.” Nothing. Pure silence. Kokichi began to laugh. It was manic, and it sounded crazed.
Ouma took a deep breath and put on his mask. He smiled. “Don’t worry, Saihara-chan!~ I’ll leave Japan so that you won’t be seeing me any time soon!~ Toodles!~” He bid his goodbye and went to his room.
Kokichi wasn’t planning on leaving, but his acceptance letter from his dream college in America beckoned him to leave. Plus, in a new country, he can start over. He’ll have to tell DICE, Miu, and Rantaro. It sucks that I’ll leave them, but I need a breather. Everything in Japan will just remind me of Shui- Saihara.
Meanwhile, Shuichi was still stuck in his spot. He wants to chase after Ouma, explain, and confess, but he’s terrified of himself and the future. He didn’t know what to do. He was so confused.
After four years in America, the weather in Japan is nostalgic. Kokichi was standing underneath the cherry blossoms. He missed the sakura petals dancing in the air as they fell. He started to walk mindlessly walk with his eyes closed.
He suddenly bumped into someone. He abruptly opened his eyes to catch himself, yet the stranger caught him. When they made eye contact, the man immediately dropped him and coughed. “Well, that was painful, Saihara-chan!” Ouma whined.
”A-ah, sorry, Kokichi.”
“Non non, it’s fine, detective!”
“Listen, Kokichi,” the boy in question hummed to let Shuichi know he was listening. “About before, I’d rather deny my feelings than have to explain them,” Saihara confessed. “But it was always you, no matter how much I denied it, Kokichi.”