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“All I said was the truth, Cap’n!”
There I was at the bustling Sturgeon Shipyard in the middle of my totally not half-inked base, battling it out in turf war with THE Captain of the New Squidbeak Splatoon. The large clock at the top of the stage showed only half of the time remained.
“I’m going to make you regret saying anything, Agent 4.” The Captain was not smiling.
Sure, I may have offended her by making dumb fly jokes and covering my nose whenever she walked by. And yes, maybe I did tell Agent 8 that the Captain was born in a dump. Honestly though, I had no other choice! I was so tired of working around someone who smelled [at best] like a wet rag everyday, and winning this battle was the only way to convince the Captain to take a shower.
There was only a minute left of the battle, so I needed to do something drastic. Something insane. Something stupid. I quickly headed to the middle of the stage.
“Hey Captain, you know who else stinks? The Squid Sisters! Especially Marie!” That had to have gotten her attention, right?
All of the sudden, from literally the middle of nowhere, I was splatted. BAM.
“Next time, try to focus on the battle and not on petty insults.” The Captain yelled from a tall moving ledge above me while I soared back to the spawn point.
Okay okay, maybe that wasn’t the best approach. I had to think, fast! Thirty seconds left, and the Captain was already inking my base.
“Can’t we just solve this peacefully? Maybe a truce? I’ll order you some crabby cakes, promise!”
The Captain continued inking and looked up at me in amusement. “That’s funny, aren’t you the same squid who started this feud? I’m not here for a bribe, I’m here to put you in your place. Once and for all.”
Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen… the clock was ticking down, and worst of all, the Captain was headed straight towards me! I already swam too far away from the base; if losing this battle was bad enough, the Captain was about to bulldoze me! Where could I run? Where could I hide?
Twelve, eleven, ten… I backed up against a sturdy wall, closed my eyes, crouched down and braced myself for what punishment the Captain would bring. As she approached me, I felt a sinking feeling, like the dreaded moment when I told my [already] disappointed parents I failed my math exam, TWICE!
I could hear her footsteps splashing in ink. Three, two, one and…! “Phoooweeeeeeet!”
The whistle blew, which signified the end of the battle. Strange though, why was I still standing near the same wall uninjured? I opened my eyes and couldn’t believe what I was seeing: the Captain, the same one I brutally insulted, was holding out her hand to me. ME.
“Need some help, agent?” She smiled.
“B-but I…” Was this a trick? A prank? “But Captain, I made fun of you! Why are you helping me, even after what I said?”
“Agent 4, I’m not mad at you nor your jokes, even if you did tell Agent 8 that I was born in a dump. Actually, I was just salty that you called me out on not showering. Not because you were wrong, but because… you were right.” She admitted.
I still felt a sense of guilt. “Oh. Well, even if I was right, I’m sorry I called you out so rudely.”
A moment of silence passed between us.
I cautiously lifted out my hand to the Captain’s hand. “So… does this mean what I think it means?”
The Captain gently took my hand, picked me up off the ground, patted me on the head and smiled again. “Of course it does, shower included.”
She lifted her hand out to me once more. “Truce, Agent 4?”
I took her hand and shook it, smiling right back at her. ”Truce!”